forked from rDrama/rDrama
5327 lines
102 KiB
Plaintext
5327 lines
102 KiB
Plaintext
WEBVTT
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Alpa Chino!
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00:00:03.069 --> 00:00:04.764
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We're loaded
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00:00:04.871 --> 00:00:06.202
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I love the pussy, hell, yeah
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00:00:06.306 --> 00:00:07.705
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I love the pussy, hell, yeah
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00:00:07.807 --> 00:00:10.469
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I love that pussy
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dripping down to the floor, oh, no
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00:00:10.577 --> 00:00:13.068
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The wettest pussy, hell, yeah
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I love the pussy, hell, yeah
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00:00:13.179 --> 00:00:16.273
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I'm drinking up
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your Booty Sweat and busting a nut
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00:00:16.383 --> 00:00:18.146
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Alpa Chino got that pussy control
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00:00:18.251 --> 00:00:20.151
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Alpa Chino's Booty Sweat.
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00:00:20.253 --> 00:00:21.686
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Pop an ass open!
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00:00:21.788 --> 00:00:25.280
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Booty Sweat and Bust-A-Nut bars
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available at concessions now.
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00:00:29.396 --> 00:00:33.526
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In 2013, when the Earth's rotation
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came to a halt...
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00:00:33.633 --> 00:00:37.194
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The President has declared
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all of North America a disaster area.
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00:00:37.303 --> 00:00:39.999
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I call on my fellow Americans
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to come together...
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00:00:40.106 --> 00:00:44.133
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... the world called on the one man
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who could make a difference.
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00:00:48.181 --> 00:00:52.413
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When it happened again,
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the world called on him once more.
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00:00:53.620 --> 00:00:59.422
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And no one saw it coming
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three more times!
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00:01:02.028 --> 00:01:03.689
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Now,
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00:01:03.797 --> 00:01:07.733
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the one man who made a difference
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five times before,
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00:01:10.170 --> 00:01:14.539
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is about to make a difference again.
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00:01:15.275 --> 00:01:19.371
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Only this time, it's different.
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00:01:21.214 --> 00:01:22.841
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Who left the fridge open?
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00:01:24.284 --> 00:01:26.218
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Tugg Speedman.
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00:01:26.319 --> 00:01:31.086
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Scorcher Vl: Global Meltdown.
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Here we go again.
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00:01:34.494 --> 00:01:35.552
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Again.
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Will there be anything else?
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00:01:47.073 --> 00:01:50.270
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Yes, my dear man. More beans.
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00:01:52.078 --> 00:01:54.239
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Granny!
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00:01:56.182 --> 00:01:57.342
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Please!
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00:01:57.450 --> 00:02:02.410
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This summer,
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America's favorite obese family is back.
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00:02:05.291 --> 00:02:06.849
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Gross!
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00:02:06.960 --> 00:02:08.985
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- You're just mad 'cause I'm skinny.
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- Am not!
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00:02:09.562 --> 00:02:11.052
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Jeff Portnoy.
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00:02:11.731 --> 00:02:13.198
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Jeff Portnoy.
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00:02:13.800 --> 00:02:15.290
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Jeff Portnoy.
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00:02:15.401 --> 00:02:21.499
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And Jeff Portnoy are
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The Fatties: Fart Two.
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00:02:21.608 --> 00:02:23.439
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In some countries,
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00:02:24.644 --> 00:02:26.271
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it's considered a compliment.
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00:02:26.379 --> 00:02:29.576
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Letting loose this summer.
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00:02:38.858 --> 00:02:44.592
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In a time where to be different
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was to be condemned,
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00:02:58.344 --> 00:03:03.043
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and to be condemned was to die,
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one man chose to question his God.
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00:03:15.328 --> 00:03:17.023
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From Fox Searchlight,
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00:03:25.872 --> 00:03:29.103
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five-time Academy Award winner
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Kirk Lazarus
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00:03:30.210 --> 00:03:34.544
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and MTV Movie Award
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Best Kiss winner Tobey Maguire.
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00:03:40.920 --> 00:03:45.448
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Winner of the Beijing Film Festival's
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coveted Crying Monkey Award,
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00:03:46.659 --> 00:03:48.650
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Satan's Alley.
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00:03:53.032 --> 00:03:55.762
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I've been a bad, bad boy, Father.
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00:04:31.204 --> 00:04:34.002
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In the winter of 1969,
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00:04:34.107 --> 00:04:36.132
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an elite force of the U.S. Army
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00:04:36.242 --> 00:04:41.111
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was sent on a top-secret assignment
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in southeast Vietnam.
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00:04:41.214 --> 00:04:43.978
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The objective,
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rescue Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback
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00:04:44.083 --> 00:04:47.143
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from a heavily guarded
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NVA Prison Camp.
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00:04:47.253 --> 00:04:50.347
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The mission was considered
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to be near suicide.
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00:04:51.658 --> 00:04:54.957
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Of the 10 men sent, four returned.
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00:04:55.061 --> 00:04:58.497
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Of those four, three wrote books
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about what happened.
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00:04:58.598 --> 00:05:01.567
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Of those three, two were published.
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00:05:01.668 --> 00:05:05.832
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Of those two, just one got a movie deal.
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00:05:07.340 --> 00:05:12.573
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This is the story of the men
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who attempted to make that movie.
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00:05:23.389 --> 00:05:25.983
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Whiskey Fire Old Snake
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requests an LZ prep
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00:05:26.092 --> 00:05:28.652
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at Alpha-Delta-two-four-eight-niner,
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over.
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00:05:33.966 --> 00:05:38.232
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Floyd, this is lead. Right echelon
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approach from RP to LZ, acknowledge.
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00:05:39.372 --> 00:05:41.499
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Floyd, Wall-Eye airborne.
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Welcome aboard.
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00:05:44.944 --> 00:05:46.673
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All right, lead's going in.
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Give her some cover.
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00:05:46.779 --> 00:05:49.612
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Delivery on five.
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I repeat, delivery on five.
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00:05:55.688 --> 00:05:57.986
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This is Zero-Three.
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I'm on your six, don't worry.
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00:05:58.324 --> 00:06:00.952
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Chalk-Three's taking fire.
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Guns right, guns right.
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00:06:07.734 --> 00:06:09.861
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Lay that shit down!
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00:06:09.969 --> 00:06:11.266
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Come on!
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00:06:13.106 --> 00:06:15.404
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Come on, you damn dirty heathens!
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00:06:15.508 --> 00:06:18.841
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Wall-Eye, Wall-Eye,
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this is Boomer One-Seven in the Zee!
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00:06:18.945 --> 00:06:22.346
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I need fast movers
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on my Yankee Smoke, copy?
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00:06:22.448 --> 00:06:24.382
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Boomer, this is Wall-Eye.
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I got two-Alpha-four
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00:06:24.484 --> 00:06:26.714
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- snake and nape on the ready!
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- Oh, Jesus! Holy shit!
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00:06:26.819 --> 00:06:27.979
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Holy shit!
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00:06:28.087 --> 00:06:29.884
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Get on that horn
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and get some firepower, boy!
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00:06:29.989 --> 00:06:31.149
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Jesus Christ!
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00:06:31.257 --> 00:06:32.554
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Listen, you cherry fuck,
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00:06:32.658 --> 00:06:36.185
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you call in that snake and nape
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and get us some boom-boom now!
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00:06:36.295 --> 00:06:38.786
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I'd do it myself
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but I'm kind of goddamn busy!
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00:06:38.898 --> 00:06:40.263
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I need an answer, Boomer!
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00:06:40.366 --> 00:06:42.061
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Wall-Eye, Wall-Eye!
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00:06:42.168 --> 00:06:43.533
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I copy!
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00:06:45.405 --> 00:06:46.895
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What the fuck?
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00:06:55.081 --> 00:06:57.515
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That's for Brooklyn, motherfucker!
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00:06:57.617 --> 00:06:59.414
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I think I can put it back in!
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00:06:59.519 --> 00:07:02.454
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This is the last Christmas
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I spend with Victor Charlie up my ass!
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00:07:02.555 --> 00:07:05.291
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Want some? Get some!
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00:07:05.358 --> 00:07:08.384
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Hey, yo, Fats! I ain't seen Four Leaf!
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00:07:08.494 --> 00:07:11.691
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Don't count him out! That bastard's
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got luck tattooed to his ass!
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00:07:11.798 --> 00:07:14.790
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Motown, get your Detroit jukebox
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Jheri curl ass
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00:07:14.901 --> 00:07:17.131
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in this chickenshit chop-chop! ASAFP!
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00:07:17.236 --> 00:07:19.067
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Four Leaf is still
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outside the perimeter, Sarge!
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00:07:19.172 --> 00:07:23.666
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Miss me with that cracker chump jive!
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We di di mau! We di di mau!
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00:07:23.776 --> 00:07:25.175
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Come on, get down, get down!
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00:07:25.278 --> 00:07:27.303
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What am I looking at? What is this?
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00:07:28.214 --> 00:07:32.173
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Come on, let's get, let's go!
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Come on, elevator up, up!
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00:07:32.285 --> 00:07:34.810
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Sarge. It's Four Leaf.
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00:07:48.100 --> 00:07:49.158
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No!
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00:07:55.575 --> 00:07:56.837
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Survive!
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00:08:10.022 --> 00:08:12.513
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Cover me, you limp dick fuckups!
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00:08:18.164 --> 00:08:21.395
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Peek-a-boo! I see you!
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00:08:23.436 --> 00:08:25.165
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Hold on, Four Leaf!
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00:08:27.807 --> 00:08:29.138
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Oh, shit!
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00:08:31.410 --> 00:08:32.900
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Watch my right!
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00:08:34.580 --> 00:08:36.844
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Come on, Leaf, let's boogie!
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00:08:44.190 --> 00:08:45.851
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No!
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00:08:45.958 --> 00:08:47.050
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No!
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00:08:50.229 --> 00:08:52.322
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- Fats!
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- Holy fuck!
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00:08:53.599 --> 00:08:56.159
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Take us over to those men! Shit!
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00:09:00.640 --> 00:09:03.609
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Look at you, man.
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Playing with grenades.
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00:09:07.113 --> 00:09:08.375
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I'm cold, Linc.
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00:09:10.416 --> 00:09:12.247
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I can't feel my legs.
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00:09:13.386 --> 00:09:15.377
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Ain't nothing but a thang.
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00:09:16.856 --> 00:09:19.086
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Hold my hands,
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00:09:19.191 --> 00:09:21.022
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'cause I got something to...
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00:09:21.127 --> 00:09:22.992
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I got something to say.
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00:09:24.397 --> 00:09:26.058
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Oh, boy.
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00:09:30.069 --> 00:09:32.970
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When we get back to the world,
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00:09:33.072 --> 00:09:35.802
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I'm gonna finally teach you
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how to juggle.
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00:09:37.777 --> 00:09:41.042
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I ain't never been worth a nothing
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in this life,
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00:09:41.147 --> 00:09:43.911
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but I want you to know something.
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00:09:44.984 --> 00:09:46.281
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What, man?
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00:09:48.187 --> 00:09:49.484
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You are my...
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00:09:50.990 --> 00:09:52.685
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You are my brother.
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00:10:05.671 --> 00:10:10.699
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You are my brother.
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You are my... You are my...
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00:10:10.876 --> 00:10:12.503
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I am your brother.
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00:10:16.015 --> 00:10:17.744
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I'm sorry. Could we cut?
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00:10:17.850 --> 00:10:19.340
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- What's he saying?
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- Damien, can we cut?
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00:10:19.452 --> 00:10:21.113
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- No. No, no, no, no, no...
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- All right, you know what?
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00:10:21.220 --> 00:10:24.212
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We got the jets coming in,
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big explosion, two minutes.
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00:10:24.323 --> 00:10:25.415
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Still rolling.
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00:10:25.524 --> 00:10:27.151
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You know what? No, not still rolling.
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Can we cut?
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00:10:27.259 --> 00:10:28.920
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- We're cutting.
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- No, we're not. Get out!
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00:10:29.028 --> 00:10:30.996
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Hey, what's going on?
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For real, my butt is hurting!
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00:10:31.097 --> 00:10:33.031
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This harness is riding up my crack!
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00:10:33.132 --> 00:10:35.794
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- Damien, are we cutting?
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- No! No! Still rolling!
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00:10:35.901 --> 00:10:38.028
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Mr. Cockburn! Are we cutting, sir?
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00:10:38.137 --> 00:10:41.300
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No! No. I'm not cutting!
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We're still rolling!
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00:10:41.407 --> 00:10:42.465
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Damien, what's the dealy, dude?
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00:10:42.575 --> 00:10:44.372
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Are we gonna blow
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this tree line or what?
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00:10:44.477 --> 00:10:46.035
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Tuk Tuk and Kim
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got the blue balls here.
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00:10:46.145 --> 00:10:47.373
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I'm gonna let them squirt if we're a go!
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00:10:47.480 --> 00:10:49.710
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- Play it through. Still rolling!
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- Dieter, can he hear me?
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00:10:49.815 --> 00:10:52.375
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That's C-4, dipshit. Put that back.
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I said a detonator.
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00:10:52.485 --> 00:10:54.851
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I need some dudes up here
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who speak American, God damn it!
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00:10:54.954 --> 00:10:56.421
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He's making
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a fucking sweater back here.
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00:10:56.522 --> 00:10:58.854
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I'm trying to put Tiger Balm
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on this jungle's nuts.
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00:10:58.958 --> 00:11:00.084
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Oh, shit!
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00:11:00.192 --> 00:11:01.819
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Alpa Chino hotline. What's up?
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What's up, baby?
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00:11:01.927 --> 00:11:04.122
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What the fuck is going on here?
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00:11:04.230 --> 00:11:05.390
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Everyone, please shut up.
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00:11:05.498 --> 00:11:07.989
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The jets are coming in.
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We only have one chance at this!
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00:11:08.100 --> 00:11:10.261
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On three, baby. One, two, breathe.
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00:11:10.369 --> 00:11:12.894
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Look, do me a favor. I don't want to do
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a countdown before I do the scene.
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00:11:13.005 --> 00:11:14.063
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- No countdown?
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- No countdown.
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00:11:14.173 --> 00:11:15.367
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- Okay.
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- Can we just do it off of "Action"?
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00:11:15.474 --> 00:11:17.032
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Just... In your own time.
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00:11:17.143 --> 00:11:18.940
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- Good...
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- I'm not a rocket ship, okay?
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00:11:19.045 --> 00:11:20.672
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|
- All right, dude.
|
|
- And action!
|
|
|
|
00:11:20.780 --> 00:11:23.715
|
|
Whatever floats your boat, baby.
|
|
Fuck! Don't die!
|
|
|
|
00:11:23.816 --> 00:11:26.250
|
|
Erika, get me a VitaminWater!
|
|
|
|
00:11:26.352 --> 00:11:27.819
|
|
You know what it is, Damien? I'm sorry.
|
|
|
|
00:11:27.920 --> 00:11:32.323
|
|
Not to get into his thing, but if
|
|
I'm crying, should Osiris be crying, too?
|
|
|
|
00:11:32.425 --> 00:11:34.325
|
|
- No, it's everyone cry...
|
|
- We cutting or we crying?
|
|
|
|
00:11:34.427 --> 00:11:35.758
|
|
- No, no, no, we're crying!
|
|
- Just call it, man!
|
|
|
|
00:11:35.861 --> 00:11:37.988
|
|
- Kirk, you can cry. Tugg, you can cry.
|
|
- Thanks!
|
|
|
|
00:11:38.097 --> 00:11:39.826
|
|
- Everybody cry...
|
|
- You know what?
|
|
|
|
00:11:39.932 --> 00:11:41.900
|
|
- You see how agitated he is now?
|
|
- I know.
|
|
|
|
00:11:42.001 --> 00:11:44.435
|
|
- Let's make lemonade. Let's go to work.
|
|
- Okay. Still rolling!
|
|
|
|
00:11:44.837 --> 00:11:47.499
|
|
This is Falcon One. We have the ridge
|
|
in sight, approximately two miles out.
|
|
|
|
00:11:47.606 --> 00:11:49.870
|
|
Dieter, these jets
|
|
are about to crest this ridge line.
|
|
|
|
00:11:49.975 --> 00:11:51.909
|
|
They got about 200 pounds
|
|
of shit your pants.
|
|
|
|
00:11:52.011 --> 00:11:53.171
|
|
I need to know if we're ready to go.
|
|
|
|
00:11:55.815 --> 00:11:58.113
|
|
- You're my... You're my...
|
|
- I am your...
|
|
|
|
00:11:58.217 --> 00:12:01.675
|
|
See, that's what I think it is, Damien.
|
|
I think it's the line.
|
|
|
|
00:12:01.787 --> 00:12:02.811
|
|
Yeah?
|
|
|
|
00:12:02.922 --> 00:12:04.787
|
|
I don't know if Four Leaf
|
|
would say that... Four Leaf?
|
|
|
|
00:12:04.890 --> 00:12:07.222
|
|
Were you crying
|
|
when your hands blew up?
|
|
|
|
00:12:07.326 --> 00:12:08.953
|
|
No. See, he didn't.
|
|
Yeah, I mean, just that's what...
|
|
|
|
00:12:09.061 --> 00:12:10.619
|
|
So now we in re-writes, right?
|
|
|
|
00:12:10.730 --> 00:12:11.856
|
|
- Where you going?
|
|
- Let's re-write it!
|
|
|
|
00:12:11.964 --> 00:12:14.125
|
|
Action Jackson can't cry.
|
|
That's what's going down.
|
|
|
|
00:12:14.233 --> 00:12:16.201
|
|
You know what, Kirk?
|
|
I'm ready to do the scene!
|
|
|
|
00:12:16.302 --> 00:12:19.863
|
|
What scene? The scene is
|
|
about emotionality. Where is it?
|
|
|
|
00:12:19.972 --> 00:12:21.564
|
|
- Now it's time to flip the script!
|
|
- Kirk...
|
|
|
|
00:12:21.674 --> 00:12:23.835
|
|
Be here till Chinese New Year
|
|
waiting for my man to cry.
|
|
|
|
00:12:23.943 --> 00:12:25.376
|
|
Here they come!
|
|
|
|
00:12:25.478 --> 00:12:28.675
|
|
- Kirk, no!
|
|
- Stop tailgating me, you pasty teabag!
|
|
|
|
00:12:28.781 --> 00:12:29.770
|
|
Can I make pee-pee?
|
|
|
|
00:12:29.882 --> 00:12:32.282
|
|
- The planes are inbound!
|
|
- I know! Oh, shit!
|
|
|
|
00:12:32.384 --> 00:12:35.581
|
|
Get the fruit... Jesus! Fuck!
|
|
Shit! Cocksucking!
|
|
|
|
00:12:35.688 --> 00:12:39.385
|
|
- That's the signal! Go, go, go, go, go!
|
|
- Tropic tits!
|
|
|
|
00:12:39.492 --> 00:12:41.551
|
|
Goddamn shit-picking cock!
|
|
|
|
00:12:43.329 --> 00:12:45.058
|
|
It's beautiful!
|
|
|
|
00:12:51.103 --> 00:12:54.038
|
|
Mother Nature just pissed her pantsuit!
|
|
|
|
00:12:54.340 --> 00:12:57.207
|
|
Hot! Hot, hot, hot, hot! Fuck!
|
|
|
|
00:13:01.814 --> 00:13:03.372
|
|
- Sweet.
|
|
- Oh, mama!
|
|
|
|
00:13:03.516 --> 00:13:04.881
|
|
Let me down!
|
|
|
|
00:13:05.985 --> 00:13:08.249
|
|
Bungle in the jungle.
|
|
|
|
00:13:08.354 --> 00:13:11.448
|
|
More bad news from the Vietnamese set
|
|
of Tropic Thunder,
|
|
|
|
00:13:11.557 --> 00:13:15.288
|
|
where a $4 million explosion
|
|
charred the Asian location
|
|
|
|
00:13:15.394 --> 00:13:17.362
|
|
and the camera wasn't even rolling.
|
|
|
|
00:13:17.463 --> 00:13:20.125
|
|
Financed by hotheaded mega-mogul
|
|
Les Grossman,
|
|
|
|
00:13:20.232 --> 00:13:23.326
|
|
the film is already rumored to be
|
|
one month behind schedule
|
|
|
|
00:13:23.435 --> 00:13:26.302
|
|
just five days into shooting.
|
|
The reason?
|
|
|
|
00:13:26.405 --> 00:13:29.340
|
|
Fingers are pointed at rookie director
|
|
Damien Cockburn,
|
|
|
|
00:13:29.441 --> 00:13:32.535
|
|
who, insiders say,
|
|
can't control a star-studded cast,
|
|
|
|
00:13:32.645 --> 00:13:37.344
|
|
including flatulent star of the popular
|
|
Fatties franchise, Jeff Portnoy.
|
|
|
|
00:13:37.449 --> 00:13:39.974
|
|
Let me tell you something.
|
|
A lot of people are disrespecting me.
|
|
|
|
00:13:40.085 --> 00:13:43.816
|
|
They say that the movie's
|
|
just about farts. It's about family,
|
|
|
|
00:13:43.923 --> 00:13:47.017
|
|
and... you! You can't do what I do.
|
|
|
|
00:13:47.126 --> 00:13:51.358
|
|
Fresh from his most recent arrest
|
|
for heroin, glue and crack possession,
|
|
|
|
00:13:51.463 --> 00:13:53.829
|
|
Portnoy was almost uninsurable.
|
|
|
|
00:13:53.933 --> 00:13:58.267
|
|
Also in the mix is Booty Sweat-hocking
|
|
hip-hop hyphenate Alpa Chino.
|
|
|
|
00:13:58.370 --> 00:14:00.861
|
|
I'm so excited, you know what I'm
|
|
saying, about doing Tropic Thunder.
|
|
|
|
00:14:00.973 --> 00:14:03.134
|
|
Hey, drink Booty Sweat, baby.
|
|
Drink Booty Sweat.
|
|
|
|
00:14:03.242 --> 00:14:04.903
|
|
But the real heavyweight on the set
|
|
|
|
00:14:05.010 --> 00:14:07.706
|
|
is five-time Academy Award winner
|
|
Kirk Lazarus.
|
|
|
|
00:14:07.813 --> 00:14:11.544
|
|
The brilliant Australian
|
|
known for his bad boy antics off-screen
|
|
|
|
00:14:11.650 --> 00:14:15.245
|
|
is famous for his total immersion
|
|
into any role he portrays.
|
|
|
|
00:14:15.354 --> 00:14:16.188
|
|
Well, being an actor is no different
|
|
|
|
00:14:16.188 --> 00:14:16.654
|
|
Well, being an actor is no different
|
|
|
|
00:14:16.755 --> 00:14:18.950
|
|
than being a rugby player
|
|
or a construction worker,
|
|
|
|
00:14:19.058 --> 00:14:20.184
|
|
save for the fact that my tools
|
|
|
|
00:14:20.292 --> 00:14:22.351
|
|
are the mechanisms
|
|
that trigger human emotion.
|
|
|
|
00:14:22.461 --> 00:14:24.520
|
|
Lazarus underwent a controversial
|
|
|
|
00:14:24.630 --> 00:14:27.622
|
|
pigmentation alteration procedure
|
|
in order to play
|
|
|
|
00:14:27.733 --> 00:14:30.827
|
|
the platoon's African-American
|
|
sergeant, Lincoln Osiris.
|
|
|
|
00:14:30.936 --> 00:14:32.369
|
|
Yeah!
|
|
|
|
00:14:32.471 --> 00:14:34.336
|
|
Trying to hold his own onscreen
|
|
with Kirk
|
|
|
|
00:14:34.440 --> 00:14:36.567
|
|
is action juggernaut Tugg Speedman.
|
|
|
|
00:14:36.675 --> 00:14:39.473
|
|
Once the highest grossing star
|
|
in the world,
|
|
|
|
00:14:39.578 --> 00:14:42.638
|
|
lately his Scorcher films
|
|
have lost their heat.
|
|
|
|
00:14:42.748 --> 00:14:45.342
|
|
Recently, Speedman opened up to Tyra.
|
|
|
|
00:14:45.451 --> 00:14:47.385
|
|
You have no real family.
|
|
|
|
00:14:47.486 --> 00:14:51.923
|
|
You're on the wrong side of 40.
|
|
You're childless and alone.
|
|
|
|
00:14:52.024 --> 00:14:53.719
|
|
Somebody close to you said,
|
|
|
|
00:14:53.826 --> 00:14:56.624
|
|
"One more flop and it's over."
|
|
|
|
00:14:58.731 --> 00:15:00.824
|
|
Somebody said they were close to me?
|
|
|
|
00:15:01.767 --> 00:15:02.893
|
|
It's been a tough year for Tugg.
|
|
|
|
00:15:03.002 --> 00:15:05.766
|
|
The disappointing buddy comedy
|
|
Chitlin' & the Dude
|
|
|
|
00:15:05.871 --> 00:15:10.535
|
|
was followed by an ill-advised venture
|
|
into serious dramatic territory.
|
|
|
|
00:15:10.643 --> 00:15:11.735
|
|
Simple Jack,
|
|
|
|
00:15:11.844 --> 00:15:15.575
|
|
the story of a mentally impaired
|
|
farmhand who can talk to animals,
|
|
|
|
00:15:15.681 --> 00:15:17.546
|
|
was a box office disaster
|
|
|
|
00:15:17.650 --> 00:15:22.246
|
|
that many critics called,
|
|
"One of the worst movies of all time."
|
|
|
|
00:15:22.354 --> 00:15:25.983
|
|
I ain't got a good brain.
|
|
|
|
00:15:27.026 --> 00:15:29.927
|
|
I think you've got a fine brain, Jack.
|
|
|
|
00:15:30.029 --> 00:15:35.194
|
|
You make me happy.
|
|
|
|
00:15:36.735 --> 00:15:41.172
|
|
But now the question is,
|
|
can Speedman make audiences happy
|
|
|
|
00:15:41.273 --> 00:15:43.036
|
|
in what's being called
|
|
the most expensive
|
|
|
|
00:15:43.142 --> 00:15:45.406
|
|
- war movie never made?
|
|
- Rick Peck.
|
|
|
|
00:15:45.511 --> 00:15:47.001
|
|
Wishing Tugg all the best on that one.
|
|
|
|
00:15:47.112 --> 00:15:51.446
|
|
Rum-Tum-Tuggernauts, it's the Pecker.
|
|
You got time for your agent?
|
|
|
|
00:15:51.550 --> 00:15:52.812
|
|
- Rick?
|
|
- Hey, buddy,
|
|
|
|
00:15:52.918 --> 00:15:54.476
|
|
guess who I'm staring at right now.
|
|
|
|
00:15:54.586 --> 00:15:56.247
|
|
- What?
|
|
- I'm looking at your ugly mug
|
|
|
|
00:15:56.355 --> 00:15:58.653
|
|
on the back cover
|
|
of Vanity Fair magazine,
|
|
|
|
00:15:58.757 --> 00:16:01.191
|
|
holding a cute, cuddly panda
|
|
from Cutesville.
|
|
|
|
00:16:01.293 --> 00:16:03.887
|
|
It is insane, bro. You are a rock star.
|
|
|
|
00:16:03.996 --> 00:16:06.590
|
|
Hey, did you get the gift basket I sent?
|
|
|
|
00:16:06.699 --> 00:16:07.723
|
|
From Rick.
|
|
|
|
00:16:07.833 --> 00:16:09.926
|
|
Yeah. Yeah. It's cool, man. Thanks.
|
|
|
|
00:16:10.035 --> 00:16:12.595
|
|
All right,
|
|
that is a real satellite phone, bro.
|
|
|
|
00:16:12.705 --> 00:16:14.297
|
|
Do not re-gift.
|
|
|
|
00:16:14.406 --> 00:16:16.897
|
|
Hey. You see
|
|
that Access Hollywood piece?
|
|
|
|
00:16:17.009 --> 00:16:19.944
|
|
Yeah, I did.
|
|
It was like pistol-whipping a blind kid.
|
|
|
|
00:16:20.045 --> 00:16:24.482
|
|
I mean, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it,
|
|
Tugg. You are a huge star, all right?
|
|
|
|
00:16:24.583 --> 00:16:26.050
|
|
But right now,
|
|
|
|
00:16:26.151 --> 00:16:27.709
|
|
you're like that kid on the playground,
|
|
you know,
|
|
|
|
00:16:27.820 --> 00:16:30.789
|
|
the one who has lice that none
|
|
of the other kids want to play with?
|
|
|
|
00:16:30.889 --> 00:16:32.880
|
|
- What do you mean?
|
|
- I mean we gotta shave your head
|
|
|
|
00:16:32.992 --> 00:16:35.460
|
|
and get you back
|
|
on the monkey bars, right?
|
|
|
|
00:16:35.561 --> 00:16:36.892
|
|
What?
|
|
|
|
00:16:36.996 --> 00:16:38.861
|
|
How did the crying scene go?
|
|
|
|
00:16:38.964 --> 00:16:40.727
|
|
Horrible. Lazarus started crying.
|
|
|
|
00:16:40.833 --> 00:16:43.996
|
|
Then he starts drooling and dribbling,
|
|
and it wasn't even in the script...
|
|
|
|
00:16:44.103 --> 00:16:45.195
|
|
Stop right there!
|
|
|
|
00:16:45.304 --> 00:16:47.033
|
|
You gotta buck up here, Tuggboat.
|
|
|
|
00:16:47.139 --> 00:16:49.835
|
|
Who cares how much more talented
|
|
he may be than you?
|
|
|
|
00:16:49.942 --> 00:16:53.309
|
|
If he cries, you cry harder, man.
|
|
|
|
00:16:53.412 --> 00:16:55.573
|
|
Didn't your dog have, like, leukemia
|
|
or something
|
|
|
|
00:16:55.681 --> 00:16:57.046
|
|
when you were a kid?
|
|
I mean, think of that.
|
|
|
|
00:16:57.149 --> 00:17:00.084
|
|
Boom! End of story.
|
|
They hook up the TiVo yet?
|
|
|
|
00:17:00.185 --> 00:17:01.675
|
|
- No.
|
|
- What?
|
|
|
|
00:17:01.787 --> 00:17:03.687
|
|
They have digital cable, but,
|
|
I mean, it's okay.
|
|
|
|
00:17:03.789 --> 00:17:06.019
|
|
No, no, no. Come on, man. It's not okay.
|
|
|
|
00:17:06.125 --> 00:17:08.252
|
|
It is not okay, Tugg!
|
|
|
|
00:17:08.360 --> 00:17:11.488
|
|
And you don't need to explain to me
|
|
why you need TiVo
|
|
|
|
00:17:11.597 --> 00:17:15.533
|
|
or clean water, clean sheets,
|
|
food, shelter.
|
|
|
|
00:17:15.634 --> 00:17:18.728
|
|
I mean, I fought for that in your contract.
|
|
|
|
00:17:18.837 --> 00:17:20.896
|
|
How's the adoption thing coming,
|
|
buddy?
|
|
|
|
00:17:21.006 --> 00:17:23.031
|
|
Not too great.
|
|
|
|
00:17:24.410 --> 00:17:26.708
|
|
Well, at least you get to choose yours.
|
|
|
|
00:17:26.812 --> 00:17:28.643
|
|
I'm stuck with mine.
|
|
|
|
00:17:30.549 --> 00:17:33.074
|
|
Tell you what, get back to work,
|
|
genius soldier.
|
|
|
|
00:17:33.185 --> 00:17:36.052
|
|
The Pecker's on a TiVo mission
|
|
for the Y-O-U.
|
|
|
|
00:17:36.155 --> 00:17:37.918
|
|
Work on those tears, my man.
|
|
|
|
00:17:38.023 --> 00:17:39.115
|
|
All right. Yeah.
|
|
|
|
00:17:39.224 --> 00:17:40.782
|
|
Say it for me one time.
|
|
|
|
00:17:40.893 --> 00:17:45.159
|
|
- You make me happy.
|
|
- Make me happy.
|
|
|
|
00:17:45.264 --> 00:17:46.856
|
|
- I love you, buddy.
|
|
- All right, bye.
|
|
|
|
00:17:47.766 --> 00:17:49.757
|
|
Crisis meeting?
|
|
What does that mean, exactly?
|
|
|
|
00:17:49.868 --> 00:17:51.529
|
|
I mean, are we in a crisis?
|
|
|
|
00:17:51.637 --> 00:17:53.161
|
|
He's the head of the studio.
|
|
|
|
00:17:53.272 --> 00:17:55.638
|
|
He's reaching out.
|
|
We're 10,000 miles away.
|
|
|
|
00:17:55.741 --> 00:17:56.833
|
|
He just wants a little face-time.
|
|
|
|
00:17:56.942 --> 00:17:59.536
|
|
I know, it's just you said
|
|
that he called it a crisis meeting. So...
|
|
|
|
00:17:59.645 --> 00:18:02.045
|
|
It's Les Grossman.
|
|
He throws these words around.
|
|
|
|
00:18:02.147 --> 00:18:06.550
|
|
"Crisis," "explosion,"
|
|
"not rolling," "fired."
|
|
|
|
00:18:06.652 --> 00:18:07.983
|
|
These are just words.
|
|
|
|
00:18:08.087 --> 00:18:10.180
|
|
Yeah! Yeah!
|
|
|
|
00:18:10.289 --> 00:18:13.588
|
|
Keep a secret? A camera truck
|
|
in London just plowed into Judi Dench.
|
|
|
|
00:18:13.692 --> 00:18:14.818
|
|
Trust me, he's got bigger problems.
|
|
|
|
00:18:14.927 --> 00:18:17.395
|
|
Look, he may be able to see me,
|
|
but I can't see him.
|
|
|
|
00:18:17.496 --> 00:18:22.024
|
|
- Move! Move! Hello, Les! Hello!
|
|
- Get your ass out of my...
|
|
|
|
00:18:22.134 --> 00:18:23.567
|
|
- Your feet were on my desk.
|
|
- Can he see us?
|
|
|
|
00:18:23.669 --> 00:18:25.000
|
|
I don't know why we don't have...
|
|
|
|
00:18:25.104 --> 00:18:27.265
|
|
Get him a Diet Coke. Les! It's working!
|
|
|
|
00:18:27.372 --> 00:18:29.863
|
|
Yeah, whatever you're doing right there.
|
|
Hello, Les!
|
|
|
|
00:18:29.975 --> 00:18:31.374
|
|
- Hello, Les!
|
|
- Okay.
|
|
|
|
00:18:31.477 --> 00:18:33.536
|
|
We got you loud and clear here, Les.
|
|
|
|
00:18:33.645 --> 00:18:37.342
|
|
I see you. I see you. I see you.
|
|
|
|
00:18:37.449 --> 00:18:40.577
|
|
Which one of you fuckfaces
|
|
is Damien Cockburn?
|
|
|
|
00:18:41.587 --> 00:18:43.111
|
|
That's me, sir.
|
|
|
|
00:18:43.222 --> 00:18:46.749
|
|
It's good to finally meet you at last,
|
|
get some face-time.
|
|
|
|
00:18:46.859 --> 00:18:50.818
|
|
And who here is the key grip?
|
|
You? You.
|
|
|
|
00:18:52.831 --> 00:18:56.289
|
|
Hit that director in the face,
|
|
really fucking hard.
|
|
|
|
00:19:03.142 --> 00:19:04.473
|
|
Sorry, man.
|
|
|
|
00:19:10.983 --> 00:19:14.384
|
|
This is your fault, you limey fuck!
|
|
|
|
00:19:14.486 --> 00:19:16.511
|
|
You shit the money-bed, my friend.
|
|
|
|
00:19:16.622 --> 00:19:19.352
|
|
Hey, Les, I understand if you're angry,
|
|
|
|
00:19:19.458 --> 00:19:21.449
|
|
but I am dealing
|
|
with a bunch of prima donnas!
|
|
|
|
00:19:21.560 --> 00:19:25.052
|
|
Clowns! Tugg Speedman, he can't cry!
|
|
He can't cry!
|
|
|
|
00:19:25.164 --> 00:19:27.564
|
|
You know how you handle an actor?
|
|
They whine about anything,
|
|
|
|
00:19:27.666 --> 00:19:30.965
|
|
you pull down their pants
|
|
and you spank their ass.
|
|
|
|
00:19:31.069 --> 00:19:33.264
|
|
- You spank that ass, Les.
|
|
- What?
|
|
|
|
00:19:33.372 --> 00:19:37.138
|
|
Spanking a child
|
|
turns him into a little snot.
|
|
|
|
00:19:38.010 --> 00:19:40.911
|
|
Fear makes him a man.
|
|
|
|
00:19:41.947 --> 00:19:46.543
|
|
I know a place
|
|
where a man's worth is measured
|
|
|
|
00:19:46.652 --> 00:19:50.452
|
|
in the ears hanging from his dog tags.
|
|
|
|
00:19:50.556 --> 00:19:53.286
|
|
The real deep shit.
|
|
|
|
00:19:53.392 --> 00:19:55.986
|
|
You wanna make this movie right?
|
|
|
|
00:19:56.094 --> 00:19:59.586
|
|
That's where you take
|
|
your pansy-ass actors.
|
|
|
|
00:20:01.166 --> 00:20:03.031
|
|
Who is this guy?
|
|
|
|
00:20:03.135 --> 00:20:05.035
|
|
Les, that's Four Leaf.
|
|
|
|
00:20:05.137 --> 00:20:08.436
|
|
Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback.
|
|
I wrote the book.
|
|
|
|
00:20:10.642 --> 00:20:14.703
|
|
You're a great American.
|
|
This nation owes you a huge debt.
|
|
|
|
00:20:14.813 --> 00:20:17.782
|
|
Now shut the fuck up
|
|
and let me do my job!
|
|
|
|
00:20:18.650 --> 00:20:20.117
|
|
- Look, Cockburn.
|
|
- Yes.
|
|
|
|
00:20:20.219 --> 00:20:24.246
|
|
From now on, my fist
|
|
is gonna be so far up your shithole
|
|
|
|
00:20:24.356 --> 00:20:25.721
|
|
that every time you have a thought,
|
|
|
|
00:20:25.824 --> 00:20:28.850
|
|
it's gonna have to tiptoe
|
|
past my wedding ring.
|
|
|
|
00:20:28.961 --> 00:20:32.488
|
|
Take control of your actors,
|
|
or I will shut you down.
|
|
|
|
00:20:32.598 --> 00:20:33.690
|
|
Diet Coke!
|
|
|
|
00:20:46.278 --> 00:20:48.974
|
|
When the herd loses its way,
|
|
|
|
00:20:49.081 --> 00:20:53.518
|
|
the shepherd must kill
|
|
the bull that leads them astray.
|
|
|
|
00:20:55.354 --> 00:20:58.619
|
|
- Four Leaf?
|
|
- Come on over. It's okay.
|
|
|
|
00:21:00.292 --> 00:21:01.782
|
|
- Sit down.
|
|
- Yes.
|
|
|
|
00:21:03.195 --> 00:21:08.292
|
|
- So, you don't like the hotel?
|
|
- Beds give me nightmares.
|
|
|
|
00:21:13.338 --> 00:21:18.537
|
|
I'm guessing right about now
|
|
you couldn't find a Dixie coonskin
|
|
|
|
00:21:18.644 --> 00:21:22.978
|
|
with an Ohio hooker holding your prick
|
|
and showing you the way.
|
|
|
|
00:21:29.788 --> 00:21:31.119
|
|
What?
|
|
|
|
00:21:31.223 --> 00:21:35.159
|
|
I put my story in your limp Brit hands,
|
|
|
|
00:21:35.260 --> 00:21:38.696
|
|
and you are not going to fail me.
|
|
|
|
00:21:38.797 --> 00:21:42.392
|
|
You think I was just blowing
|
|
my own bagpipe in that meeting?
|
|
|
|
00:21:42.501 --> 00:21:46.335
|
|
You must put those boys in the shit.
|
|
|
|
00:21:46.438 --> 00:21:47.996
|
|
What? I don't understand.
|
|
|
|
00:21:48.106 --> 00:21:51.371
|
|
- You wanna make your movie or not?
|
|
- Yes, I do.
|
|
|
|
00:21:51.476 --> 00:21:54.968
|
|
All right, you get
|
|
some of those little video type cameras.
|
|
|
|
00:21:55.080 --> 00:21:58.709
|
|
We take them out there, and we put
|
|
them in the trees in different angles.
|
|
|
|
00:21:58.817 --> 00:22:02.116
|
|
Then you give me
|
|
and that pyromaniac Cody
|
|
|
|
00:22:02.220 --> 00:22:07.089
|
|
all the smoke bombs, charges,
|
|
explosives, detonators you got.
|
|
|
|
00:22:07.192 --> 00:22:09.626
|
|
Then we take those boys up there,
|
|
|
|
00:22:09.728 --> 00:22:12.822
|
|
me and Cody,
|
|
we could light up that fucking jungle,
|
|
|
|
00:22:12.931 --> 00:22:15.866
|
|
so those lily-dick actors
|
|
would be shitting their pants
|
|
|
|
00:22:15.967 --> 00:22:17.958
|
|
and screaming for their mammies.
|
|
|
|
00:22:18.070 --> 00:22:21.528
|
|
They'd be begging for a body bag
|
|
if it means a ride home.
|
|
|
|
00:22:24.376 --> 00:22:25.900
|
|
I could do it.
|
|
|
|
00:22:26.678 --> 00:22:30.114
|
|
I could shoot the whole thing
|
|
guerrilla style. Gritty, dirty.
|
|
|
|
00:22:30.215 --> 00:22:33.548
|
|
Get them away from their helpers
|
|
and ass-licking assistants.
|
|
|
|
00:22:33.652 --> 00:22:34.744
|
|
Put them in the real shit.
|
|
|
|
00:22:34.853 --> 00:22:36.047
|
|
- Real shit.
|
|
- With real fear in their eyes!
|
|
|
|
00:22:36.154 --> 00:22:39.214
|
|
Real fear, real emotion!
|
|
Yes, Four Leaf, yes!
|
|
|
|
00:22:39.324 --> 00:22:41.417
|
|
- Yes! Yes!
|
|
- Yes! Yes!
|
|
|
|
00:22:41.526 --> 00:22:43.289
|
|
Take them off the fucking grid!
|
|
|
|
00:23:00.746 --> 00:23:03.510
|
|
You are no longer actors in a movie!
|
|
|
|
00:23:04.616 --> 00:23:07.346
|
|
You are five men in a helicopter!
|
|
|
|
00:23:09.121 --> 00:23:10.884
|
|
With three other men!
|
|
|
|
00:23:16.528 --> 00:23:18.052
|
|
How long are we gonna be gone,
|
|
anyways?
|
|
|
|
00:23:18.163 --> 00:23:22.224
|
|
'Cause I left most of my vitamins
|
|
back at the hotel.
|
|
|
|
00:23:22.334 --> 00:23:24.894
|
|
- Save your breath, maggots!
|
|
- That's right, maggots!
|
|
|
|
00:23:48.059 --> 00:23:50.721
|
|
Go, go, go! Get out of the chopper!
|
|
|
|
00:23:52.030 --> 00:23:55.193
|
|
Move it, maggots, move!
|
|
Move, grunts, move your ass!
|
|
|
|
00:23:55.300 --> 00:23:57.598
|
|
Get out, you wriggly worms!
|
|
|
|
00:23:57.702 --> 00:24:00.170
|
|
- It's up too high!
|
|
- Move, move, move!
|
|
|
|
00:24:03.642 --> 00:24:05.371
|
|
See you in hell!
|
|
|
|
00:24:16.888 --> 00:24:21.086
|
|
This is bullshit!
|
|
I gotta at least call my fucking assistant.
|
|
|
|
00:24:22.360 --> 00:24:25.090
|
|
Fucking! Jesus! Dude!
|
|
|
|
00:24:26.565 --> 00:24:28.795
|
|
You're sitting on a nest
|
|
of hostile enemy V.C.
|
|
|
|
00:24:28.900 --> 00:24:32.336
|
|
Congratulations, Fats.
|
|
You just got us all killed.
|
|
|
|
00:24:33.338 --> 00:24:36.933
|
|
Anybody else care to give away
|
|
our position to Charlie?
|
|
|
|
00:24:37.042 --> 00:24:38.805
|
|
Cell phones!
|
|
|
|
00:24:38.910 --> 00:24:40.377
|
|
What the hell, Damien?
|
|
|
|
00:24:40.479 --> 00:24:44.176
|
|
Weren't no cell phones in '69, man.
|
|
I'm head-to-toe legitimate.
|
|
|
|
00:24:44.282 --> 00:24:47.683
|
|
Gentlemen, I've got good news
|
|
and bad news.
|
|
|
|
00:24:47.786 --> 00:24:51.278
|
|
The studio wants to shut us down.
|
|
That's the bad news.
|
|
|
|
00:24:51.423 --> 00:24:53.721
|
|
And the good news.
|
|
|
|
00:24:53.825 --> 00:24:56.726
|
|
If you wanna save this movie,
|
|
you will become a unit.
|
|
|
|
00:24:56.828 --> 00:25:00.594
|
|
Your objective is to head north
|
|
to the D'ang Kwook River
|
|
|
|
00:25:00.699 --> 00:25:02.189
|
|
and liberate the POW camp,
|
|
|
|
00:25:02.300 --> 00:25:05.565
|
|
at which point Four Leaf
|
|
will get himself captured,
|
|
|
|
00:25:05.670 --> 00:25:07.467
|
|
at which point you will rescue him,
|
|
|
|
00:25:07.572 --> 00:25:10.939
|
|
at which point
|
|
we will chopper you home!
|
|
|
|
00:25:12.143 --> 00:25:13.235
|
|
Damn.
|
|
|
|
00:25:13.345 --> 00:25:15.142
|
|
Four Leaf,
|
|
since you're the staff sergeant,
|
|
|
|
00:25:15.247 --> 00:25:17.647
|
|
there's the map, this is the scene list.
|
|
|
|
00:25:17.749 --> 00:25:19.876
|
|
Think you can handle it?
|
|
|
|
00:25:19.985 --> 00:25:24.183
|
|
We have rigged this entire
|
|
valley of death with hidden cameras.
|
|
|
|
00:25:25.657 --> 00:25:29.286
|
|
And I will be shooting as well,
|
|
from unseen vantage points,
|
|
|
|
00:25:29.394 --> 00:25:32.989
|
|
so that every glorious moment
|
|
is captured on film.
|
|
|
|
00:25:34.266 --> 00:25:37.429
|
|
And believe me, gentlemen,
|
|
it will be glorious.
|
|
|
|
00:25:37.536 --> 00:25:40.061
|
|
If it looks real,
|
|
chances are it probably is.
|
|
|
|
00:25:40.171 --> 00:25:41.763
|
|
You wanted to be actors.
|
|
|
|
00:25:41.873 --> 00:25:44.467
|
|
You wanted to occupy
|
|
the skin of another human being.
|
|
|
|
00:25:44.576 --> 00:25:47.568
|
|
Well, get ready to occupy the skin
|
|
of a terrified U.S. Infantry grunt,
|
|
|
|
00:25:47.679 --> 00:25:51.445
|
|
surrounded by death,
|
|
crawling up Satan's bottom.
|
|
|
|
00:25:52.484 --> 00:25:57.183
|
|
There'll be ambushes, enemy fire,
|
|
your own little personal slice of 'Nam.
|
|
|
|
00:25:57.289 --> 00:26:01.885
|
|
This radio goes to the chopper
|
|
and the chopper only.
|
|
|
|
00:26:01.993 --> 00:26:06.396
|
|
The chopper is God,
|
|
and I am Jesus Christ, his son.
|
|
|
|
00:26:06.531 --> 00:26:09.227
|
|
You are my chosen disciples.
|
|
|
|
00:26:09.334 --> 00:26:12.360
|
|
And no one gets to go home
|
|
till we get the shots.
|
|
|
|
00:26:12.470 --> 00:26:15.496
|
|
Put on your war faces, gentlemen.
|
|
|
|
00:26:15.607 --> 00:26:20.306
|
|
Now, let's go and make
|
|
the greatest war movie ever!
|
|
|
|
00:26:20.412 --> 00:26:22.744
|
|
- Yeah!
|
|
- All right!
|
|
|
|
00:26:41.499 --> 00:26:42.557
|
|
Yeah!
|
|
|
|
00:26:48.006 --> 00:26:49.064
|
|
Yeah!
|
|
|
|
00:27:01.620 --> 00:27:03.520
|
|
Not bad, Cockburn!
|
|
|
|
00:27:05.357 --> 00:27:06.551
|
|
Not bad.
|
|
|
|
00:27:08.259 --> 00:27:09.851
|
|
Wherever you are!
|
|
|
|
00:27:11.863 --> 00:27:14.923
|
|
Wherever he is?
|
|
Looks like he's all over the place.
|
|
|
|
00:27:16.735 --> 00:27:18.635
|
|
Here we go.
|
|
|
|
00:27:18.737 --> 00:27:20.762
|
|
Must be an old French mine.
|
|
|
|
00:27:20.872 --> 00:27:24.330
|
|
It's a remnant from colonial Indo-China.
|
|
This jungle must be full of them.
|
|
|
|
00:27:26.411 --> 00:27:29.869
|
|
Don't you get it?
|
|
He's messing with our heads.
|
|
|
|
00:27:29.981 --> 00:27:32.006
|
|
That's what all that
|
|
playing God stuff was about.
|
|
|
|
00:27:32.117 --> 00:27:34.677
|
|
He's trying to get us to act good,
|
|
save the movie.
|
|
|
|
00:27:34.786 --> 00:27:37.812
|
|
He ain't playing God.
|
|
He's being judged by him.
|
|
|
|
00:27:41.826 --> 00:27:44.522
|
|
That's our objective.
|
|
Complete the mission.
|
|
|
|
00:27:50.735 --> 00:27:53.636
|
|
No offense, Kirk,
|
|
I know you're the big fancy actor here,
|
|
|
|
00:27:53.738 --> 00:27:57.640
|
|
but I've done a lot more effects-driven
|
|
event films than you. Okay?
|
|
|
|
00:27:57.742 --> 00:27:59.141
|
|
And I think I can spot
|
|
|
|
00:28:01.246 --> 00:28:02.770
|
|
a prop head when I see one.
|
|
|
|
00:28:02.881 --> 00:28:04.371
|
|
Oh, Jesus.
|
|
|
|
00:28:05.583 --> 00:28:09.075
|
|
It's corn syrup, guys.
|
|
Corn syrup and latex.
|
|
|
|
00:28:12.290 --> 00:28:15.418
|
|
Warm, blood-flavored corn syrup.
|
|
|
|
00:28:15.527 --> 00:28:16.653
|
|
Oh, God.
|
|
|
|
00:28:17.295 --> 00:28:20.231
|
|
Smoke and mirrors, guys.
|
|
Welcome to the movie factory.
|
|
|
|
00:28:20.532 --> 00:28:21.726
|
|
Oldest trick in the book.
|
|
|
|
00:28:23.735 --> 00:28:25.032
|
|
He getting down now.
|
|
|
|
00:28:25.136 --> 00:28:26.501
|
|
Oh, my God!
|
|
|
|
00:28:29.307 --> 00:28:31.366
|
|
Whoa, look at me!
|
|
|
|
00:28:31.476 --> 00:28:32.943
|
|
You're going to get the shots,
|
|
|
|
00:28:33.044 --> 00:28:36.036
|
|
and I'm going to make sure
|
|
because I'm the director.
|
|
|
|
00:28:36.147 --> 00:28:38.274
|
|
I'm from London. I direct plays.
|
|
|
|
00:28:38.383 --> 00:28:41.409
|
|
Hey, Damien! We got our war faces on!
|
|
|
|
00:28:51.296 --> 00:28:52.991
|
|
Look, I'm Dave Beckham.
|
|
|
|
00:29:02.774 --> 00:29:05.174
|
|
So, we gotta
|
|
light these boys up today, huh?
|
|
|
|
00:29:05.276 --> 00:29:07.471
|
|
Blow some sense into these young men.
|
|
|
|
00:29:08.446 --> 00:29:11.347
|
|
Hey, I don't want to come off
|
|
as weird or anything,
|
|
|
|
00:29:11.449 --> 00:29:15.385
|
|
but I might be your biggest fan. Yeah.
|
|
|
|
00:29:16.755 --> 00:29:20.247
|
|
Tropic Thunder.
|
|
Kind of like my Catcher in the Rye.
|
|
|
|
00:29:21.493 --> 00:29:23.723
|
|
Yeah, I've never been in the military,
|
|
per se,
|
|
|
|
00:29:23.828 --> 00:29:26.262
|
|
but I have lost an appendage
|
|
in the line of duty.
|
|
|
|
00:29:28.066 --> 00:29:30.296
|
|
Driving Miss Daisy, first studio gig.
|
|
|
|
00:29:31.069 --> 00:29:32.127
|
|
Yeah.
|
|
|
|
00:29:32.637 --> 00:29:35.435
|
|
It's a pretty cool sidearm you got there.
|
|
What is it?
|
|
|
|
00:29:35.540 --> 00:29:37.201
|
|
I don't know what it's called.
|
|
|
|
00:29:38.343 --> 00:29:43.076
|
|
I just know the sound it makes
|
|
when it takes a man's life.
|
|
|
|
00:29:46.217 --> 00:29:47.275
|
|
Okay.
|
|
|
|
00:29:47.852 --> 00:29:49.080
|
|
Damien, we're go for explosion.
|
|
|
|
00:29:49.187 --> 00:29:51.985
|
|
Ready to kick the tires
|
|
and light the fires on your say-so.
|
|
|
|
00:29:52.090 --> 00:29:53.819
|
|
Damien, we're go for explosion.
|
|
|
|
00:29:54.959 --> 00:29:55.983
|
|
Do you copy?
|
|
|
|
00:29:56.094 --> 00:29:58.961
|
|
I got an itchy trigger finger here,
|
|
and I'm ready to blow some shit up.
|
|
|
|
00:29:59.063 --> 00:30:02.692
|
|
All right, you happy now?
|
|
Can we do the scene?
|
|
|
|
00:30:02.801 --> 00:30:05.429
|
|
Or do you need a formal invitation?
|
|
Come on, let's go!
|
|
|
|
00:30:07.238 --> 00:30:08.330
|
|
Here. Okay.
|
|
|
|
00:30:08.439 --> 00:30:10.634
|
|
"Scene 12, exterior,
|
|
jungle clearing, day, ambush.
|
|
|
|
00:30:16.181 --> 00:30:18.115
|
|
"Four Leaf notices
|
|
movement in the brush.
|
|
|
|
00:30:18.216 --> 00:30:21.242
|
|
"A dozen guerrilla fighters
|
|
can be seen moving in the tree line.
|
|
|
|
00:30:21.352 --> 00:30:23.912
|
|
"Somewhere a mine explodes."
|
|
And you.
|
|
|
|
00:30:25.256 --> 00:30:27.281
|
|
"I got a bad feeling on this one."
|
|
|
|
00:30:27.392 --> 00:30:28.882
|
|
- Yeah.
|
|
- No, that's your line.
|
|
|
|
00:30:28.993 --> 00:30:31.860
|
|
- I got... Now?
|
|
- Yeah, but scared. Like, scared.
|
|
|
|
00:30:31.963 --> 00:30:34.693
|
|
- "I got a bad feeling on this one."
|
|
- Dude, wait, like how?
|
|
|
|
00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:36.630
|
|
"I got a bad feeling on this one."
|
|
|
|
00:30:36.734 --> 00:30:38.827
|
|
- Okay.
|
|
- Action. Go, come on.
|
|
|
|
00:30:47.846 --> 00:30:50.713
|
|
I got a bad feeling
|
|
on this one there, Fats.
|
|
|
|
00:30:52.050 --> 00:30:55.451
|
|
Our asses don't get fragged
|
|
in this bullshit valley,
|
|
|
|
00:30:55.553 --> 00:30:57.384
|
|
first thing I'm doing
|
|
is paying my 2 bucks
|
|
|
|
00:30:57.488 --> 00:30:59.115
|
|
so I can watch Brooklyn bust his cherry
|
|
|
|
00:30:59.224 --> 00:31:01.920
|
|
on a sweet little mama-san's
|
|
dinky dau poontang.
|
|
|
|
00:31:02.026 --> 00:31:04.927
|
|
Shit, Brooklyn be bagged and tagged
|
|
before he get any cooch.
|
|
|
|
00:31:05.029 --> 00:31:08.260
|
|
He die, he probably die
|
|
a coochless motherfucker.
|
|
|
|
00:31:08.366 --> 00:31:10.095
|
|
Zip it, Motown.
|
|
|
|
00:31:10.201 --> 00:31:11.793
|
|
Man, I'm thirsty.
|
|
|
|
00:31:12.904 --> 00:31:17.864
|
|
Might as well have some of this
|
|
Booty Sweat I got back in Danang.
|
|
|
|
00:31:18.743 --> 00:31:22.235
|
|
Yo, asshole! This motherfucker's dead!
|
|
|
|
00:31:22.347 --> 00:31:24.144
|
|
Ain't no Criss Angel Mindfreak,
|
|
|
|
00:31:24.249 --> 00:31:27.582
|
|
David Blaine trapdoor
|
|
horseshit jumping off here!
|
|
|
|
00:31:27.685 --> 00:31:31.451
|
|
Hey! You wanna get on the train here,
|
|
or do you wanna ruin another take?
|
|
|
|
00:31:31.556 --> 00:31:34.889
|
|
There ain't no goddamn takes,
|
|
ain't no goddamn motion picture!
|
|
|
|
00:31:35.860 --> 00:31:37.623
|
|
- You sure?
|
|
- Yeah.
|
|
|
|
00:31:37.729 --> 00:31:39.526
|
|
- Yeah?
|
|
- For certain, man.
|
|
|
|
00:31:39.631 --> 00:31:41.531
|
|
Then why are you still in character?
|
|
|
|
00:31:43.101 --> 00:31:45.069
|
|
I know, but I don't have to tell you.
|
|
|
|
00:31:46.204 --> 00:31:47.262
|
|
You don't know.
|
|
|
|
00:31:47.372 --> 00:31:50.307
|
|
Man, I don't drop character
|
|
till I done a DVD commentary.
|
|
|
|
00:31:53.077 --> 00:31:55.238
|
|
You happy now?
|
|
We're out of position for the effects!
|
|
|
|
00:31:55.346 --> 00:31:57.075
|
|
Get down, fool!
|
|
|
|
00:31:58.783 --> 00:32:01.684
|
|
Didn't anyone read the script?
|
|
This is the ambush!
|
|
|
|
00:32:03.087 --> 00:32:06.750
|
|
- This feels pretty real!
|
|
- Exactly! Let's use it.
|
|
|
|
00:32:17.368 --> 00:32:18.528
|
|
Yeah!
|
|
|
|
00:32:19.804 --> 00:32:21.169
|
|
Yeah!
|
|
|
|
00:32:23.775 --> 00:32:25.037
|
|
Eat lead!
|
|
|
|
00:32:27.011 --> 00:32:29.377
|
|
They're busting caps
|
|
like a motherfucker down there.
|
|
|
|
00:32:32.650 --> 00:32:34.743
|
|
This is FUBAR. I say we juice them.
|
|
|
|
00:32:34.852 --> 00:32:36.342
|
|
- What do you think?
|
|
- Juice them.
|
|
|
|
00:32:38.756 --> 00:32:41.247
|
|
Fuck you, Charlie!
|
|
|
|
00:32:43.328 --> 00:32:44.795
|
|
Big-ass titties!
|
|
|
|
00:32:50.768 --> 00:32:52.395
|
|
Look at that, huh?
|
|
|
|
00:32:57.675 --> 00:32:58.869
|
|
And cut!
|
|
|
|
00:33:01.145 --> 00:33:02.976
|
|
That's the trailer right there.
|
|
|
|
00:33:03.081 --> 00:33:04.378
|
|
Yeah!
|
|
|
|
00:33:04.482 --> 00:33:06.746
|
|
- What do we do now?
|
|
- Yeah.
|
|
|
|
00:33:06.851 --> 00:33:08.375
|
|
North. Man said to head north.
|
|
|
|
00:33:08.486 --> 00:33:11.819
|
|
- Did you see me shooting?
|
|
- That's how we do. Good work, baby.
|
|
|
|
00:33:11.923 --> 00:33:12.981
|
|
I believed it.
|
|
|
|
00:33:13.091 --> 00:33:14.251
|
|
D'ang Kwook River.
|
|
|
|
00:33:14.892 --> 00:33:16.291
|
|
I'm betting
|
|
he's got more of these battles
|
|
|
|
00:33:16.394 --> 00:33:19.124
|
|
and Viet Congs
|
|
rigged for us along the way.
|
|
|
|
00:33:19.230 --> 00:33:22.996
|
|
Sergeant Osiris, get your men.
|
|
Load and lock.
|
|
|
|
00:33:23.668 --> 00:33:25.431
|
|
Real, baby, I'm real.
|
|
|
|
00:33:26.504 --> 00:33:29.302
|
|
Let's go! We got a lot of klicks to cover!
|
|
|
|
00:33:30.441 --> 00:33:33.467
|
|
Hump it up, gentlemen!
|
|
Single formation.
|
|
|
|
00:33:33.578 --> 00:33:35.409
|
|
Don't dawdle now!
|
|
|
|
00:33:59.537 --> 00:34:03.803
|
|
D-Rod, D-Rod, this is Puddingface.
|
|
How are we coming on that hotplate?
|
|
|
|
00:34:06.444 --> 00:34:09.743
|
|
Something's up.
|
|
I think we better drag ass back there.
|
|
|
|
00:34:09.847 --> 00:34:12.543
|
|
Make sure Damien ain't forgot
|
|
how to use his talkbox again.
|
|
|
|
00:34:20.291 --> 00:34:23.260
|
|
Yeah, baby, come on. Just a little taste.
|
|
|
|
00:34:24.862 --> 00:34:26.989
|
|
- What are you doing, Jeff?
|
|
- Fucking... Nothing, man!
|
|
|
|
00:34:27.098 --> 00:34:30.431
|
|
- I'm eating jellybeans.
|
|
- Wow, I love jellybeans. Can I please...
|
|
|
|
00:34:30.535 --> 00:34:33.265
|
|
No, you can't have
|
|
any fucking jellybeans.
|
|
|
|
00:34:33.371 --> 00:34:34.463
|
|
They're mine.
|
|
|
|
00:34:34.572 --> 00:34:35.732
|
|
You think
|
|
you're the only one who gets sick
|
|
|
|
00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:37.535
|
|
when he doesn't have his jellybeans?
|
|
|
|
00:34:37.642 --> 00:34:39.041
|
|
Boundaries, man. Fuck.
|
|
|
|
00:34:58.963 --> 00:35:01.659
|
|
Hey. I didn't mean to
|
|
show you up back there.
|
|
|
|
00:35:01.766 --> 00:35:05.896
|
|
It's just, I feel like we really need
|
|
to set the example for the other guys.
|
|
|
|
00:35:06.003 --> 00:35:07.903
|
|
It's gonna be tough,
|
|
|
|
00:35:08.005 --> 00:35:11.031
|
|
but I think Damien's gonna get
|
|
some great shit out of us.
|
|
|
|
00:35:12.577 --> 00:35:14.306
|
|
Just wish I had
|
|
a director like this on Jack.
|
|
|
|
00:35:14.412 --> 00:35:16.903
|
|
On Jack. What? Jack?
|
|
What you talking about?
|
|
|
|
00:35:18.116 --> 00:35:20.084
|
|
- Simple Jack.
|
|
- Oh, yeah.
|
|
|
|
00:35:21.586 --> 00:35:24.817
|
|
Simple Jack, yeah.
|
|
You went all out on that one, huh?
|
|
|
|
00:35:24.922 --> 00:35:27.186
|
|
You did.
|
|
Really swung for the fences, huh?
|
|
|
|
00:35:27.291 --> 00:35:29.691
|
|
Thank you. Thanks. Yeah.
|
|
|
|
00:35:29.794 --> 00:35:32.695
|
|
Yeah, it was an intense experience,
|
|
you know.
|
|
|
|
00:35:33.397 --> 00:35:35.490
|
|
I just did the work.
|
|
|
|
00:35:35.600 --> 00:35:39.400
|
|
Watched a lot of retarded people.
|
|
Spent time with them. Observed them.
|
|
|
|
00:35:40.705 --> 00:35:42.866
|
|
Watched all the retarded stuff they did.
|
|
|
|
00:35:42.974 --> 00:35:44.737
|
|
Then again,
|
|
I always found mere observation
|
|
|
|
00:35:44.842 --> 00:35:47.140
|
|
in and of itself is a tad rudimentary.
|
|
|
|
00:35:47.245 --> 00:35:50.305
|
|
Sometimes, we gotta dig deeper
|
|
to mine the true emotional pay dirt.
|
|
|
|
00:35:50.414 --> 00:35:54.748
|
|
Thus, we can diagram the source
|
|
of the pain and then live it, you know.
|
|
|
|
00:35:54.852 --> 00:35:56.911
|
|
Yeah, yeah, live it. Yeah, exactly.
|
|
|
|
00:35:57.021 --> 00:35:59.751
|
|
You know, there were times
|
|
when I was doing Jack
|
|
|
|
00:35:59.857 --> 00:36:02.325
|
|
that I actually felt retarded,
|
|
|
|
00:36:02.426 --> 00:36:03.694
|
|
- like really retarded.
|
|
- Damn.
|
|
|
|
00:36:03.694 --> 00:36:04.319
|
|
- Like really retarded.
|
|
- Damn.
|
|
|
|
00:36:04.428 --> 00:36:07.659
|
|
In a weird way,
|
|
I had to sort of just free myself up
|
|
|
|
00:36:07.765 --> 00:36:10.734
|
|
to believe that it was okay
|
|
to be stupid or dumb.
|
|
|
|
00:36:10.835 --> 00:36:12.393
|
|
- To be a moron.
|
|
- Yeah.
|
|
|
|
00:36:12.503 --> 00:36:15.233
|
|
- To be moronical.
|
|
- Exactly, to be a moron.
|
|
|
|
00:36:15.339 --> 00:36:16.704
|
|
- An imbecile.
|
|
- Yeah.
|
|
|
|
00:36:16.807 --> 00:36:19.674
|
|
Like the dumbest motherfucker
|
|
that ever lived.
|
|
|
|
00:36:19.777 --> 00:36:20.937
|
|
When I was playing the character.
|
|
|
|
00:36:21.045 --> 00:36:23.639
|
|
- When you was the character.
|
|
- Yeah, as Jack, definitely.
|
|
|
|
00:36:23.748 --> 00:36:25.978
|
|
Jack, stupid ass Jack.
|
|
|
|
00:36:26.083 --> 00:36:27.812
|
|
By the end of the whole thing, I was like,
|
|
|
|
00:36:27.919 --> 00:36:32.447
|
|
"Wait a minute, I flushed so much out,
|
|
how am I gonna jumpstart it up again?"
|
|
|
|
00:36:32.557 --> 00:36:34.616
|
|
- It's just like... Right?
|
|
- Yeah.
|
|
|
|
00:36:34.725 --> 00:36:37.489
|
|
You was farting in bathtubs
|
|
and laughing your ass off.
|
|
|
|
00:36:37.595 --> 00:36:40.063
|
|
Yeah. I mean, it was really quite a...
|
|
It was crazy.
|
|
|
|
00:36:40.164 --> 00:36:43.656
|
|
It's like working with mercury.
|
|
It's high science, man. It's an art form.
|
|
|
|
00:36:43.768 --> 00:36:45.793
|
|
- Yeah.
|
|
- You an artist.
|
|
|
|
00:36:45.903 --> 00:36:47.700
|
|
- That's what we do, right? Yeah.
|
|
- Yeah.
|
|
|
|
00:36:47.805 --> 00:36:49.067
|
|
Hats off for going there,
|
|
|
|
00:36:49.173 --> 00:36:51.903
|
|
especially knowing how
|
|
the Academy is about that shit.
|
|
|
|
00:36:55.613 --> 00:36:59.140
|
|
- About what?
|
|
- You're serious? You don't know?
|
|
|
|
00:37:01.352 --> 00:37:03.377
|
|
Everybody knows
|
|
you never go full retard.
|
|
|
|
00:37:04.922 --> 00:37:07.015
|
|
- What do you mean?
|
|
- Check it out.
|
|
|
|
00:37:07.158 --> 00:37:11.254
|
|
Dustin Hoffman, Rain Man, looked
|
|
retarded, act retarded, not retarded.
|
|
|
|
00:37:11.362 --> 00:37:15.458
|
|
Count toothpicks, cheat at cards.
|
|
Autistic, sure. Not retarded.
|
|
|
|
00:37:16.334 --> 00:37:18.199
|
|
Then you got Tom Hanks,
|
|
Forrest Gump.
|
|
|
|
00:37:18.302 --> 00:37:20.600
|
|
Slow, yes, retarded, maybe,
|
|
braces on his legs.
|
|
|
|
00:37:20.705 --> 00:37:23.606
|
|
But he charmed the pants off Nixon,
|
|
and he won a Ping-Pong competition.
|
|
|
|
00:37:23.708 --> 00:37:24.902
|
|
That ain't retarded.
|
|
|
|
00:37:26.010 --> 00:37:29.002
|
|
Peter Sellers, Being There.
|
|
Infantile, yes. Retarded, no.
|
|
|
|
00:37:30.748 --> 00:37:32.739
|
|
You went full retard, man.
|
|
|
|
00:37:34.085 --> 00:37:35.450
|
|
Never go full retard.
|
|
|
|
00:37:36.454 --> 00:37:40.015
|
|
You don't buy that?
|
|
Ask Sean Penn, 2001, I Am Sam.
|
|
|
|
00:37:40.124 --> 00:37:43.423
|
|
Remember? Went full retard?
|
|
Went home empty-handed.
|
|
|
|
00:37:53.271 --> 00:37:56.468
|
|
Oh, my God! Holy shit!
|
|
|
|
00:37:57.141 --> 00:37:59.837
|
|
Good job, turd. You killed the director.
|
|
|
|
00:37:59.944 --> 00:38:01.206
|
|
No, that's impossible, man.
|
|
|
|
00:38:01.312 --> 00:38:04.179
|
|
I rigged the whole tree line,
|
|
and this is here.
|
|
|
|
00:38:04.315 --> 00:38:05.839
|
|
- He must have missed his mark.
|
|
- Missed his mark?
|
|
|
|
00:38:05.950 --> 00:38:07.178
|
|
Yeah, this isn't me.
|
|
|
|
00:38:07.285 --> 00:38:10.083
|
|
Come on, let's bag and tag the bastard
|
|
and get back to the hotel.
|
|
|
|
00:38:10.187 --> 00:38:12.883
|
|
- You're in a world of hurt, dumbo!
|
|
- We're in a world of hurt!
|
|
|
|
00:38:12.990 --> 00:38:15.185
|
|
- You're in trouble.
|
|
- This isn't just on me!
|
|
|
|
00:38:15.293 --> 00:38:17.523
|
|
- We're in a... We're together on this.
|
|
- Bullshit.
|
|
|
|
00:38:17.628 --> 00:38:19.095
|
|
You're just gonna run away.
|
|
You're gonna leave.
|
|
|
|
00:38:19.196 --> 00:38:20.857
|
|
What happened to,
|
|
"No man left behind," okay?
|
|
|
|
00:38:20.965 --> 00:38:23.229
|
|
Just wait, just wait! Listen!
|
|
Listen, okay?
|
|
|
|
00:38:23.334 --> 00:38:26.064
|
|
- I don't wanna hear it.
|
|
- Let me just be real with you, all right?
|
|
|
|
00:38:26.170 --> 00:38:29.469
|
|
I almost blinded Jamie Lee Curtis
|
|
on Freaky Friday, okay?
|
|
|
|
00:38:29.573 --> 00:38:30.904
|
|
This shit will fucking ruin me!
|
|
|
|
00:38:31.008 --> 00:38:32.908
|
|
- Just get off me! You're pathetic.
|
|
- No, I'm not.
|
|
|
|
00:38:33.010 --> 00:38:35.478
|
|
- Get off me!
|
|
- You are not going back!
|
|
|
|
00:38:38.849 --> 00:38:40.783
|
|
- What the fuck?
|
|
- Now wait a minute.
|
|
|
|
00:38:58.569 --> 00:39:00.127
|
|
I fucking hate movies.
|
|
|
|
00:39:02.473 --> 00:39:05.306
|
|
This is bullshit.
|
|
I don't wanna be in this shitty movie.
|
|
|
|
00:39:15.152 --> 00:39:17.916
|
|
No! That's my jellybeans! No!
|
|
|
|
00:39:18.022 --> 00:39:22.686
|
|
Kid, grab the bat! Please! Shit!
|
|
|
|
00:39:22.793 --> 00:39:26.058
|
|
- Yo, man, I got a Bust-A-Nut.
|
|
- You go to hell! There he is.
|
|
|
|
00:39:29.500 --> 00:39:32.435
|
|
God damn it! Okay. Where'd he go?
|
|
|
|
00:39:33.404 --> 00:39:35.702
|
|
You little piece of shit!
|
|
I'm gonna fucking rip your wings off!
|
|
|
|
00:39:37.808 --> 00:39:40.834
|
|
Sanducci. Hold up, man,
|
|
keep it on the down-low.
|
|
|
|
00:39:42.246 --> 00:39:44.476
|
|
I don't really gotta piss.
|
|
I'm trying to talk at you, man.
|
|
|
|
00:39:44.582 --> 00:39:46.209
|
|
Bait, I need bait.
|
|
|
|
00:39:47.351 --> 00:39:51.048
|
|
You went to boot camp, right?
|
|
You can read a map?
|
|
|
|
00:39:51.155 --> 00:39:52.383
|
|
Yeah, I think so.
|
|
|
|
00:39:52.490 --> 00:39:55.186
|
|
I know Speedman
|
|
got everyone convinced we out here
|
|
|
|
00:39:55.292 --> 00:39:59.092
|
|
making Planet of the Apes on YouTube
|
|
or some shit, but I don't buy it.
|
|
|
|
00:39:59.196 --> 00:40:01.664
|
|
You wanna step on a real landmine?
|
|
You wanna die?
|
|
|
|
00:40:02.466 --> 00:40:04.161
|
|
You wanna get shot
|
|
by a real motherfucker?
|
|
|
|
00:40:04.268 --> 00:40:07.431
|
|
- Keep looking ahead, man.
|
|
- No, of course not.
|
|
|
|
00:40:07.538 --> 00:40:11.099
|
|
If I can put that map in your hands,
|
|
can I count you in?
|
|
|
|
00:40:11.208 --> 00:40:14.735
|
|
- Well, yeah, I guess you can.
|
|
- Dynamite. I'm out.
|
|
|
|
00:40:18.416 --> 00:40:20.850
|
|
That smelled just like bologna
|
|
for some reason.
|
|
|
|
00:40:20.951 --> 00:40:23.476
|
|
Is anyone gonna fucking help me
|
|
get this fucking thing?
|
|
|
|
00:40:24.188 --> 00:40:26.748
|
|
Why are they even out in the daytime?
|
|
|
|
00:40:28.959 --> 00:40:33.396
|
|
I'm gonna level with you, bro.
|
|
I don't need to pee. I need to talk to you.
|
|
|
|
00:40:39.637 --> 00:40:43.403
|
|
Lazarus is gonna torpedo the movie.
|
|
|
|
00:40:45.609 --> 00:40:47.338
|
|
He's way out on a limb
|
|
with this character,
|
|
|
|
00:40:47.445 --> 00:40:49.276
|
|
and I think he's getting cold feet.
|
|
|
|
00:40:50.714 --> 00:40:54.172
|
|
- I need you on my side, Kyle.
|
|
- It's Kevin.
|
|
|
|
00:40:54.285 --> 00:40:56.446
|
|
Good. Can I count on you?
|
|
|
|
00:40:57.621 --> 00:41:01.492
|
|
Yeah. If you want
|
|
I could give the map a look-see.
|
|
|
|
00:41:01.559 --> 00:41:03.720
|
|
- I'll handle the map.
|
|
- Okay.
|
|
|
|
00:41:03.828 --> 00:41:07.059
|
|
You stick with the program,
|
|
we get this movie in the can,
|
|
|
|
00:41:07.164 --> 00:41:10.861
|
|
I'm thinking there could be
|
|
a Teen Choice Award in it for you.
|
|
|
|
00:41:10.968 --> 00:41:15.166
|
|
You have that potential.
|
|
They'll slime you, the whole deal.
|
|
|
|
00:41:15.272 --> 00:41:18.901
|
|
- Yeah, that's wicked.
|
|
- Good.
|
|
|
|
00:41:24.815 --> 00:41:26.908
|
|
There it is! Yeah, now you're dead!
|
|
|
|
00:41:28.085 --> 00:41:29.313
|
|
You O.D.'d!
|
|
|
|
00:41:30.888 --> 00:41:32.219
|
|
Hold up now, Jeff.
|
|
|
|
00:41:34.625 --> 00:41:36.024
|
|
Fucking hell!
|
|
|
|
00:41:37.661 --> 00:41:40.721
|
|
What the hell, Jeff? That's a bat, man!
|
|
|
|
00:41:40.831 --> 00:41:43.299
|
|
I don't have any more jellybeans.
|
|
|
|
00:41:49.907 --> 00:41:51.704
|
|
You land there!
|
|
|
|
00:42:06.624 --> 00:42:09.024
|
|
Wow. Look at these ruins.
|
|
|
|
00:42:11.195 --> 00:42:15.632
|
|
- Where the hell are we?
|
|
- D'ang Kwook River.
|
|
|
|
00:42:15.733 --> 00:42:18.099
|
|
That so? How do you know that?
|
|
How you sure?
|
|
|
|
00:42:18.202 --> 00:42:20.397
|
|
Only one way to find out, dude. Let's go.
|
|
|
|
00:42:20.504 --> 00:42:25.601
|
|
Yeah. I'm not feeling so good right now.
|
|
Seriously, my skin hurts!
|
|
|
|
00:42:25.709 --> 00:42:28.143
|
|
Enough from the peanut gallery!
|
|
Into the water, ladies!
|
|
|
|
00:42:28.245 --> 00:42:30.372
|
|
No, man. Let me take a look at that map
|
|
right quick.
|
|
|
|
00:42:30.481 --> 00:42:32.073
|
|
Why is everybody
|
|
all obsessed with the map?
|
|
|
|
00:42:32.182 --> 00:42:34.207
|
|
'Cause we're tired
|
|
of being your trail donkeys!
|
|
|
|
00:42:34.318 --> 00:42:36.718
|
|
Acting like you some one-man GPS!
|
|
|
|
00:42:36.820 --> 00:42:40.688
|
|
God damn it! We lost!
|
|
We fucking super lost, man!
|
|
|
|
00:42:40.791 --> 00:42:42.918
|
|
Tell him, McClusky.
|
|
Tell him what time it is.
|
|
|
|
00:42:43.027 --> 00:42:44.585
|
|
I don't believe you people.
|
|
|
|
00:42:46.330 --> 00:42:48.025
|
|
What do you mean "you people"?
|
|
|
|
00:42:50.701 --> 00:42:53.295
|
|
What do you mean, "you people"?
|
|
|
|
00:42:53.404 --> 00:42:55.395
|
|
I think what Tugg means is...
|
|
|
|
00:42:55.506 --> 00:42:56.871
|
|
No, look at his eyes, man.
|
|
|
|
00:42:56.974 --> 00:42:59.670
|
|
...you people, you actors. You people...
|
|
- Look at them beady, white devil eyes.
|
|
|
|
00:42:59.777 --> 00:43:01.335
|
|
I gotta get back to the hotel, for real!
|
|
|
|
00:43:01.445 --> 00:43:03.413
|
|
- Hell, no!
|
|
- Silence!
|
|
|
|
00:43:04.448 --> 00:43:07.110
|
|
Chill! All right? Just chill it.
|
|
|
|
00:43:08.619 --> 00:43:11.816
|
|
Now, let's go get those Viet Congs.
|
|
|
|
00:43:12.656 --> 00:43:14.214
|
|
- "Viet Cong"!
|
|
- What?
|
|
|
|
00:43:14.725 --> 00:43:17.751
|
|
It's "Viet Cong." There's no "S."
|
|
It's already plural.
|
|
|
|
00:43:17.861 --> 00:43:19.453
|
|
You wouldn't say "Chineses."
|
|
|
|
00:43:20.831 --> 00:43:23.265
|
|
All right, that's enough
|
|
of this insubordination!
|
|
|
|
00:43:23.367 --> 00:43:26.165
|
|
If the machine breaks down,
|
|
we break down.
|
|
|
|
00:43:26.270 --> 00:43:28.795
|
|
Hey, man, you know how in Rambo I,
|
|
he was big but a little puffy
|
|
|
|
00:43:28.906 --> 00:43:30.498
|
|
and then Rambo II,
|
|
he got all shredded up?
|
|
|
|
00:43:30.608 --> 00:43:33.475
|
|
- Yeah.
|
|
- That's kind of how you look right now.
|
|
|
|
00:43:33.577 --> 00:43:35.135
|
|
- Yeah?
|
|
- Not Rambo I but II.
|
|
|
|
00:43:35.245 --> 00:43:36.974
|
|
- Really?
|
|
- Yeah, when he was cut up.
|
|
|
|
00:43:37.081 --> 00:43:39.447
|
|
I'm not that... I mean,
|
|
that's what I'm going for, but you know...
|
|
|
|
00:43:39.550 --> 00:43:42.246
|
|
Come on, dude. You more shredded
|
|
than a julienne salad, man.
|
|
|
|
00:43:42.353 --> 00:43:43.843
|
|
- Thanks.
|
|
- What's the secret, dude?
|
|
|
|
00:43:43.954 --> 00:43:45.319
|
|
- It's a diet. I'm just dieting.
|
|
- Really?
|
|
|
|
00:43:45.422 --> 00:43:48.414
|
|
'Cause I'm trying to come up a little,
|
|
but it's just... It's tough.
|
|
|
|
00:43:48.525 --> 00:43:50.015
|
|
- You look good.
|
|
- Any tips?
|
|
|
|
00:43:50.127 --> 00:43:51.822
|
|
- What?
|
|
- Any tips, you got?
|
|
|
|
00:43:51.929 --> 00:43:53.055
|
|
There's, like, the pineapple...
|
|
|
|
00:43:53.163 --> 00:43:55.461
|
|
- Give me that goddamn map! Fuck you!
|
|
- Hey!
|
|
|
|
00:43:55.566 --> 00:43:57.158
|
|
- Hey!
|
|
- All right, now!
|
|
|
|
00:43:57.267 --> 00:43:59.701
|
|
What it is, Sikorski?
|
|
Tell us where we really at.
|
|
|
|
00:43:59.803 --> 00:44:01.794
|
|
That's fucking bullshit!
|
|
It's a chump move.
|
|
|
|
00:44:01.905 --> 00:44:03.839
|
|
We just getting a second opinion, doc.
|
|
|
|
00:44:05.676 --> 00:44:06.938
|
|
We're going the wrong way!
|
|
|
|
00:44:07.044 --> 00:44:08.136
|
|
- Damn!
|
|
- Son of a bitch.
|
|
|
|
00:44:08.245 --> 00:44:12.705
|
|
God! I think we were
|
|
supposed to be doing this,
|
|
|
|
00:44:12.816 --> 00:44:15.717
|
|
and instead we did this.
|
|
|
|
00:44:15.819 --> 00:44:19.448
|
|
Shit, shit, shit, shitty shit, shit!
|
|
|
|
00:44:19.556 --> 00:44:22.081
|
|
Think you can get us back
|
|
to that drop zone, boy?
|
|
|
|
00:44:23.027 --> 00:44:24.426
|
|
This is not cool!
|
|
|
|
00:44:27.131 --> 00:44:28.257
|
|
Maybe.
|
|
|
|
00:44:29.700 --> 00:44:31.190
|
|
This is insane!
|
|
|
|
00:44:32.469 --> 00:44:34.801
|
|
Are you really going
|
|
to abandon this movie?
|
|
|
|
00:44:35.606 --> 00:44:37.801
|
|
We're supposed to be a unit!
|
|
|
|
00:44:37.908 --> 00:44:39.432
|
|
Suck my unit!
|
|
|
|
00:44:40.310 --> 00:44:42.107
|
|
All right, fine.
|
|
|
|
00:44:42.212 --> 00:44:47.115
|
|
- I'll finish it by myself.
|
|
- You go be all you can be, man.
|
|
|
|
00:44:47.217 --> 00:44:49.208
|
|
Tugg, you have no idea
|
|
where you're going!
|
|
|
|
00:44:49.319 --> 00:44:51.116
|
|
Yes, I do!
|
|
|
|
00:44:51.221 --> 00:44:55.749
|
|
I'm going to, "Exterior, rain forest, dusk.
|
|
|
|
00:44:55.859 --> 00:45:00.319
|
|
"Smash cut to Four Leaf, who treks
|
|
alone through a frightening jungle."
|
|
|
|
00:45:00.431 --> 00:45:02.365
|
|
Suck on that unit, Kirk!
|
|
|
|
00:45:15.946 --> 00:45:18.938
|
|
Come on, men. Let's get home.
|
|
|
|
00:45:57.121 --> 00:46:01.785
|
|
Hello, Mr. Mantis. You're beautiful.
|
|
|
|
00:46:04.061 --> 00:46:05.995
|
|
Now, if you recall that whole hullabaloo
|
|
|
|
00:46:06.096 --> 00:46:07.825
|
|
where Hollywood
|
|
was split into schisms,
|
|
|
|
00:46:07.931 --> 00:46:11.332
|
|
some studios backing Blu-ray Disc,
|
|
others backing HD DVD.
|
|
|
|
00:46:11.435 --> 00:46:12.527
|
|
People thought it would come down to
|
|
|
|
00:46:12.636 --> 00:46:14.900
|
|
pixel rate or refresh rate,
|
|
and they're pretty much the same.
|
|
|
|
00:46:15.005 --> 00:46:18.805
|
|
What it came down to was
|
|
a combination of gamers and porn.
|
|
|
|
00:46:18.909 --> 00:46:20.638
|
|
Now, whichever format porno backs
|
|
|
|
00:46:20.744 --> 00:46:24.578
|
|
is usually the one
|
|
that becomes the most successful.
|
|
|
|
00:46:24.681 --> 00:46:27.673
|
|
But, you know, Sony,
|
|
every PlayStation 3 has a Blu-ray in it.
|
|
|
|
00:46:27.785 --> 00:46:29.514
|
|
You talking to me this whole time?
|
|
|
|
00:46:30.254 --> 00:46:31.551
|
|
I was talking to whoever
|
|
was listening to me.
|
|
|
|
00:46:31.655 --> 00:46:33.122
|
|
Jesus Christ, man!
|
|
|
|
00:46:51.542 --> 00:46:53.601
|
|
Booty Sweat.
|
|
|
|
00:46:59.650 --> 00:47:01.049
|
|
Oh, God!
|
|
|
|
00:47:03.287 --> 00:47:07.849
|
|
It's cold! It's freezing. I'm fucking cold.
|
|
|
|
00:47:07.958 --> 00:47:09.493
|
|
You want my flak jacket?
|
|
|
|
00:47:09.493 --> 00:47:10.152
|
|
You want my flak jacket?
|
|
|
|
00:47:10.260 --> 00:47:14.128
|
|
What, are you insane? It's boiling!
|
|
It's like a sweat lodge out here!
|
|
|
|
00:47:14.231 --> 00:47:17.064
|
|
Keep the volume down on that bitching,
|
|
Flatch Adams.
|
|
|
|
00:47:17.167 --> 00:47:19.067
|
|
I gotta take a fucking 12-pound shit!
|
|
|
|
00:47:19.169 --> 00:47:21.137
|
|
- How we doing? We making good time?
|
|
- We're making good time,
|
|
|
|
00:47:21.238 --> 00:47:24.366
|
|
but there's no way we make it
|
|
over that ridge before sundown.
|
|
|
|
00:47:24.474 --> 00:47:26.965
|
|
All right, fellas,
|
|
we're gonna make camp, rest up!
|
|
|
|
00:47:27.077 --> 00:47:29.375
|
|
- Oh, God.
|
|
- Y'all might be in for a treat.
|
|
|
|
00:47:29.479 --> 00:47:30.878
|
|
You know,
|
|
back before the war broked out,
|
|
|
|
00:47:30.981 --> 00:47:33.711
|
|
I was a saucier in San Antone.
|
|
|
|
00:47:33.817 --> 00:47:36.445
|
|
I bet I could collar up
|
|
some of them greens.
|
|
|
|
00:47:36.553 --> 00:47:40.853
|
|
Yeah, noodle some crawfish
|
|
out the paddy, yo.
|
|
|
|
00:47:40.958 --> 00:47:44.985
|
|
And maybe some crab apples
|
|
for dessert, now, you hear? Hell, yeah!
|
|
|
|
00:47:46.330 --> 00:47:47.592
|
|
Hell, yeah!
|
|
|
|
00:47:47.698 --> 00:47:51.896
|
|
That's how we all talk.
|
|
We all talk like this, suh! Yes, suh.
|
|
|
|
00:47:52.002 --> 00:47:57.235
|
|
Yeah, get some crawfish and some ribs.
|
|
|
|
00:47:57.341 --> 00:48:02.210
|
|
You're Australian! Be Australian!
|
|
Excuse me, Kangaroo Jack.
|
|
|
|
00:48:06.450 --> 00:48:08.850
|
|
I get excited about my foods, man.
|
|
|
|
00:49:34.805 --> 00:49:37.069
|
|
Die!
|
|
|
|
00:49:50.821 --> 00:49:52.914
|
|
No!
|
|
|
|
00:49:59.463 --> 00:50:03.763
|
|
Dude, dude, what the hell
|
|
is going on here? Where are we?
|
|
|
|
00:50:03.867 --> 00:50:06.267
|
|
I have no idea.
|
|
|
|
00:50:06.370 --> 00:50:08.930
|
|
I've never been outside the States.
|
|
|
|
00:50:09.039 --> 00:50:11.200
|
|
Wait, what?
|
|
Are you fucking kidding me?
|
|
|
|
00:50:11.308 --> 00:50:13.299
|
|
Did you make this
|
|
whole goddamn thing up?
|
|
|
|
00:50:13.410 --> 00:50:14.775
|
|
Dude, were you
|
|
even in the fucking service?
|
|
|
|
00:50:14.878 --> 00:50:17.540
|
|
Yes. Of course. Coast Guard.
|
|
|
|
00:50:17.647 --> 00:50:19.547
|
|
- Coast Guard.
|
|
- Sanitation Department.
|
|
|
|
00:50:19.649 --> 00:50:22.345
|
|
Oh, my God!
|
|
You're a fucking garbage man!
|
|
|
|
00:50:22.452 --> 00:50:26.183
|
|
Damn it. F.L. Tayback lies to me
|
|
and the whole goddamn U.S. Of A.
|
|
|
|
00:50:26.289 --> 00:50:28.951
|
|
I wrote the book as a tribute!
|
|
I'm a patriot!
|
|
|
|
00:50:29.059 --> 00:50:31.118
|
|
Yeah, you're the Milli Vanilli
|
|
of patriots, okay?
|
|
|
|
00:50:31.228 --> 00:50:32.923
|
|
You lied
|
|
about fighting the Vietnam War.
|
|
|
|
00:50:33.030 --> 00:50:36.295
|
|
It's like punching the American flag
|
|
in the face, God damn it.
|
|
|
|
00:50:36.400 --> 00:50:37.833
|
|
God, and to think I believed in you!
|
|
|
|
00:50:37.934 --> 00:50:40.300
|
|
- I don't wanna be next to you.
|
|
- Writers lie all the time.
|
|
|
|
00:50:40.404 --> 00:50:42.531
|
|
Can I be tied to another post? Okay.
|
|
|
|
00:51:04.161 --> 00:51:05.992
|
|
- Rick?
|
|
- Tugg.
|
|
|
|
00:51:06.096 --> 00:51:08.155
|
|
I killed one, Rick.
|
|
|
|
00:51:09.299 --> 00:51:11.699
|
|
The thing I love most in the world.
|
|
|
|
00:51:11.802 --> 00:51:13.633
|
|
Vivica, get off the line now!
|
|
|
|
00:51:15.939 --> 00:51:18.339
|
|
A hooker. All right, you killed a hooker.
|
|
|
|
00:51:18.442 --> 00:51:20.501
|
|
Calm down.
|
|
Here's what you're gonna do.
|
|
|
|
00:51:20.610 --> 00:51:21.770
|
|
Get your hands on some bleach,
|
|
|
|
00:51:21.878 --> 00:51:24.244
|
|
some hydrogen peroxide
|
|
and a shitload of lime.
|
|
|
|
00:51:24.347 --> 00:51:25.837
|
|
No, a panda.
|
|
|
|
00:51:25.949 --> 00:51:27.712
|
|
I killed a panda.
|
|
|
|
00:51:27.818 --> 00:51:29.615
|
|
Amanda? Come on, dude.
|
|
|
|
00:51:29.719 --> 00:51:31.744
|
|
I mean,
|
|
that's probably not even her real name.
|
|
|
|
00:51:31.855 --> 00:51:33.516
|
|
No, a panda!
|
|
|
|
00:51:33.623 --> 00:51:34.988
|
|
A panda?
|
|
|
|
00:51:35.092 --> 00:51:37.686
|
|
A sweet, cuddly,
|
|
|
|
00:51:37.794 --> 00:51:39.728
|
|
vicious little panda.
|
|
|
|
00:51:39.863 --> 00:51:42.798
|
|
Jesus Christ, Tugg!
|
|
Man, don't scare me like that!
|
|
|
|
00:51:42.899 --> 00:51:44.059
|
|
It's beautiful here.
|
|
|
|
00:51:44.167 --> 00:51:45.657
|
|
You on the set?
|
|
|
|
00:51:45.769 --> 00:51:47.031
|
|
I am the set.
|
|
|
|
00:51:47.137 --> 00:51:50.106
|
|
All right, man.
|
|
Hey, how's the TiVo working out?
|
|
|
|
00:51:50.207 --> 00:51:51.435
|
|
Screw TiVo.
|
|
|
|
00:51:51.541 --> 00:51:54.009
|
|
I'm way beyond TiVo.
|
|
|
|
00:51:54.111 --> 00:51:56.204
|
|
Last I checked,
|
|
they hadn't hooked it up, though.
|
|
|
|
00:51:56.313 --> 00:51:59.612
|
|
Hadn't hooked it up? No TiVo?
|
|
|
|
00:51:59.716 --> 00:52:01.547
|
|
It doesn't matter anymore.
|
|
|
|
00:52:04.387 --> 00:52:05.854
|
|
I've moved on.
|
|
|
|
00:52:06.590 --> 00:52:08.319
|
|
Where have you moved on to?
|
|
|
|
00:52:08.425 --> 00:52:09.585
|
|
Another agency?
|
|
|
|
00:52:11.361 --> 00:52:12.589
|
|
Hey, who is with you?
|
|
|
|
00:52:12.696 --> 00:52:16.792
|
|
You are still my client, Tugg Speedman!
|
|
I am getting the TiVo!
|
|
|
|
00:52:16.900 --> 00:52:19.095
|
|
Jacket's on, I'm out the door!
|
|
|
|
00:52:19.202 --> 00:52:20.260
|
|
Tugg?
|
|
|
|
00:52:22.873 --> 00:52:23.862
|
|
Please don't fire me.
|
|
|
|
00:52:27.408 --> 00:52:30.309
|
|
Oh, mama. Thirsty.
|
|
|
|
00:52:30.444 --> 00:52:32.503
|
|
He doesn't look too good.
|
|
|
|
00:52:32.613 --> 00:52:37.641
|
|
Must drink,
|
|
so I can throw something up!
|
|
|
|
00:52:37.751 --> 00:52:39.878
|
|
No, no. Don't drink that water!
|
|
That water's like a petri dish!
|
|
|
|
00:52:39.987 --> 00:52:41.079
|
|
No, don't!
|
|
|
|
00:52:41.188 --> 00:52:43.713
|
|
Alpa, do you have any Booty Sweat?
|
|
|
|
00:52:43.824 --> 00:52:46.190
|
|
Yeah, get him chugging on
|
|
some of Alpa's ass water.
|
|
|
|
00:52:46.293 --> 00:52:48.227
|
|
That'll bring him around. It's a cure-all.
|
|
|
|
00:52:48.329 --> 00:52:50.229
|
|
Man, what you coming out
|
|
in movies for anyway?
|
|
|
|
00:52:50.331 --> 00:52:51.992
|
|
Did you need another revenue stream?
|
|
|
|
00:52:52.099 --> 00:52:54.897
|
|
For your information,
|
|
my revenue stream
|
|
|
|
00:52:55.002 --> 00:52:57.334
|
|
currently generates $2 million a year
|
|
|
|
00:52:57.438 --> 00:52:59.372
|
|
in charitable contributions
|
|
for my community.
|
|
|
|
00:52:59.473 --> 00:53:01.805
|
|
- Hot damn.
|
|
- And why am I in this movie?
|
|
|
|
00:53:01.909 --> 00:53:04.241
|
|
Maybe I just knew I had to represent,
|
|
|
|
00:53:04.345 --> 00:53:06.142
|
|
because they had one good part
|
|
in it for a black man
|
|
|
|
00:53:06.246 --> 00:53:08.305
|
|
and they gave it to Crocodile Dundee.
|
|
|
|
00:53:09.917 --> 00:53:13.478
|
|
Pump your brakes, kid.
|
|
That man is a national treasure.
|
|
|
|
00:53:13.587 --> 00:53:15.714
|
|
I just wanted to throw another shrimp
|
|
on your barbie.
|
|
|
|
00:53:15.823 --> 00:53:16.949
|
|
That shit ain't funny.
|
|
|
|
00:53:17.057 --> 00:53:19.753
|
|
Hey, fellas! It's hot!
|
|
We're tired! It stinks!
|
|
|
|
00:53:19.860 --> 00:53:21.418
|
|
I'm just fucking with you,
|
|
Kangaroo Jack!
|
|
|
|
00:53:21.528 --> 00:53:23.257
|
|
I'm sorry a dingo ate your baby.
|
|
|
|
00:53:23.364 --> 00:53:25.832
|
|
You know that's a true story?
|
|
Lady lost her kid.
|
|
|
|
00:53:25.933 --> 00:53:28.595
|
|
- You about to cross some fucking lines.
|
|
- Guys, relax and stuff.
|
|
|
|
00:53:28.702 --> 00:53:29.760
|
|
You know what? Fuck that, man!
|
|
|
|
00:53:29.870 --> 00:53:32.532
|
|
I'm sick of this koala-hugging nigger
|
|
telling me...
|
|
|
|
00:53:37.277 --> 00:53:38.835
|
|
For 400 years,
|
|
|
|
00:53:39.880 --> 00:53:42.781
|
|
that word has kept us down.
|
|
|
|
00:53:43.851 --> 00:53:45.478
|
|
What the fuck?
|
|
|
|
00:53:45.586 --> 00:53:49.352
|
|
It took a whole lot of trying
|
|
just to get up that hill.
|
|
|
|
00:53:49.456 --> 00:53:52.357
|
|
Now we up in the big leagues,
|
|
|
|
00:53:52.459 --> 00:53:54.222
|
|
getting our turn at bat.
|
|
|
|
00:53:54.328 --> 00:53:56.990
|
|
Long as we live, it's you and me, baby.
|
|
|
|
00:53:57.665 --> 00:54:00.998
|
|
That's the theme song for
|
|
The Jeffersons. You really need help.
|
|
|
|
00:54:01.101 --> 00:54:04.229
|
|
Yeah. Just 'cause it's the theme song,
|
|
don't make it not true.
|
|
|
|
00:54:04.338 --> 00:54:06.272
|
|
You know what?
|
|
I'm gonna tell you what's true.
|
|
|
|
00:54:06.373 --> 00:54:09.809
|
|
I'm gonna tag you back.
|
|
You better believe that, baby.
|
|
|
|
00:54:09.910 --> 00:54:12.504
|
|
Guys! Hey, guys!
|
|
|
|
00:54:13.113 --> 00:54:15.581
|
|
Jeff, stay away from that animal.
|
|
|
|
00:54:17.951 --> 00:54:20.784
|
|
I'm gonna bite his hide. I need...
|
|
|
|
00:54:21.822 --> 00:54:25.087
|
|
I need to wear his stomach skin
|
|
like a unitard.
|
|
|
|
00:54:26.060 --> 00:54:29.359
|
|
Ain't nobody doing nothing
|
|
to no one or body!
|
|
|
|
00:54:29.463 --> 00:54:34.332
|
|
Now, if Mr. Portnoy is feeling
|
|
a little flu-ish, don't wanna walk,
|
|
|
|
00:54:34.435 --> 00:54:36.494
|
|
put him up on that cloven-hoof animal!
|
|
|
|
00:54:37.871 --> 00:54:39.168
|
|
We got ground to cover!
|
|
|
|
00:55:08.168 --> 00:55:11.433
|
|
All right, POW camp, scene 67.
|
|
|
|
00:55:12.339 --> 00:55:14.068
|
|
Bring it on, Cockburn!
|
|
|
|
00:55:21.181 --> 00:55:24.981
|
|
My body may be shackled,
|
|
but my mind wanders free.
|
|
|
|
00:55:29.757 --> 00:55:30.917
|
|
Wait, wait, wait,
|
|
let me do the line again.
|
|
|
|
00:55:31.024 --> 00:55:32.116
|
|
Let me do the line again.
|
|
|
|
00:55:32.226 --> 00:55:36.322
|
|
My body may be shackled,
|
|
but my mind wanders free.
|
|
|
|
00:55:43.537 --> 00:55:44.868
|
|
Good, again. Again.
|
|
|
|
00:55:50.677 --> 00:55:53.237
|
|
Good, good.
|
|
Now let's do the torture scene.
|
|
|
|
00:55:53.347 --> 00:55:55.144
|
|
I see moss on both sides of that tree.
|
|
|
|
00:55:55.249 --> 00:55:58.377
|
|
Well, you know, maybe if I wasn't
|
|
the only one at boot camp...
|
|
|
|
00:55:58.485 --> 00:56:00.385
|
|
My belly really hurts, you guys!
|
|
|
|
00:56:00.487 --> 00:56:02.682
|
|
I'm not joking around, I'm nauseous.
|
|
|
|
00:56:02.790 --> 00:56:05.020
|
|
Let me off, I gotta puke!
|
|
I don't wanna die like Hendrix!
|
|
|
|
00:56:05.125 --> 00:56:06.786
|
|
All right. All right.
|
|
|
|
00:56:11.365 --> 00:56:13.356
|
|
Are you okay, Jeff?
|
|
|
|
00:56:13.467 --> 00:56:14.832
|
|
I'm awesome.
|
|
|
|
00:56:17.237 --> 00:56:18.704
|
|
Holy shit!
|
|
|
|
00:56:23.243 --> 00:56:25.404
|
|
Okay. Everyone, down, down, down.
|
|
|
|
00:56:30.117 --> 00:56:31.607
|
|
Man. Now I'm tripping.
|
|
|
|
00:56:31.718 --> 00:56:34.346
|
|
That looks like the POW camp
|
|
from out the script, yo.
|
|
|
|
00:56:35.222 --> 00:56:36.917
|
|
Speedman was right?
|
|
|
|
00:56:37.024 --> 00:56:38.389
|
|
I don't think so.
|
|
|
|
00:56:38.492 --> 00:56:40.722
|
|
Look at the cooking vats,
|
|
the armed guards.
|
|
|
|
00:56:42.296 --> 00:56:44.389
|
|
Looks like a heroin processing plant.
|
|
|
|
00:56:45.499 --> 00:56:46.625
|
|
We were in that chopper for hours.
|
|
|
|
00:56:46.733 --> 00:56:48.997
|
|
I don't even think
|
|
we're in Vietnam anymore.
|
|
|
|
00:56:49.102 --> 00:56:51.536
|
|
- Fuck.
|
|
- Shit. We ain't even in 'Nam?
|
|
|
|
00:56:51.638 --> 00:56:54.402
|
|
No, most likely Myanmar or Laos.
|
|
|
|
00:56:54.508 --> 00:56:56.066
|
|
What the fuck is Laos?
|
|
|
|
00:56:56.176 --> 00:56:57.973
|
|
It's the Golden Triangle.
|
|
|
|
00:56:58.078 --> 00:56:59.636
|
|
The world's hard drug superhighway.
|
|
|
|
00:56:59.746 --> 00:57:01.043
|
|
And how do you know about that?
|
|
|
|
00:57:01.148 --> 00:57:03.878
|
|
It was a really long trip.
|
|
I read the in-flight magazine.
|
|
|
|
00:57:05.686 --> 00:57:06.983
|
|
Cut!
|
|
|
|
00:57:07.087 --> 00:57:08.554
|
|
Oh, Jesus!
|
|
|
|
00:57:08.655 --> 00:57:11.146
|
|
What do you see, man? I'm blocked.
|
|
|
|
00:57:11.258 --> 00:57:12.623
|
|
Damien, cut!
|
|
|
|
00:57:14.394 --> 00:57:15.986
|
|
Hey, Damien, cut!
|
|
|
|
00:57:16.830 --> 00:57:18.491
|
|
They got Speedman.
|
|
|
|
00:57:19.066 --> 00:57:20.499
|
|
And it doesn't look good.
|
|
|
|
00:57:53.166 --> 00:57:54.463
|
|
I am Tran.
|
|
|
|
00:57:55.435 --> 00:57:57.596
|
|
You are a trespasser
|
|
in my poppy fields.
|
|
|
|
00:57:59.006 --> 00:58:01.634
|
|
You are D.E.A. Scum!
|
|
|
|
00:58:03.577 --> 00:58:07.013
|
|
Were there some re-writes
|
|
that I missed?
|
|
|
|
00:58:13.320 --> 00:58:14.810
|
|
Do you want to die?
|
|
|
|
00:58:15.589 --> 00:58:17.056
|
|
- Do you?
|
|
- No!
|
|
|
|
00:58:17.157 --> 00:58:21.287
|
|
Please, don't hurt me!
|
|
|
|
00:58:29.169 --> 00:58:30.363
|
|
Say that again.
|
|
|
|
00:58:31.371 --> 00:58:33.168
|
|
Please, don't hurt me.
|
|
|
|
00:58:33.273 --> 00:58:36.367
|
|
No! Like you did before! Say it!
|
|
|
|
00:58:37.344 --> 00:58:38.333
|
|
Say it!
|
|
|
|
00:58:38.445 --> 00:58:42.438
|
|
Please, don't hurt me!
|
|
|
|
00:58:58.065 --> 00:59:00.659
|
|
- What?
|
|
- You are Simple Jack.
|
|
|
|
00:59:03.637 --> 00:59:05.502
|
|
You saw Simple Jack?
|
|
|
|
00:59:05.605 --> 00:59:07.937
|
|
We love the tale of this man,
|
|
Simple Jack.
|
|
|
|
00:59:09.643 --> 00:59:11.474
|
|
We do not have many luxury here.
|
|
|
|
00:59:11.578 --> 00:59:14.012
|
|
And Simple Jack is the only movie
|
|
we possess.
|
|
|
|
00:59:14.114 --> 00:59:17.948
|
|
You got the VHS.
|
|
|
|
00:59:18.051 --> 00:59:20.110
|
|
We've watched it many, many times.
|
|
|
|
00:59:20.220 --> 00:59:22.688
|
|
You should've got Oscar.
|
|
|
|
00:59:25.726 --> 00:59:27.489
|
|
Well, you know. It's...
|
|
|
|
00:59:28.762 --> 00:59:30.024
|
|
Just to be nominated...
|
|
|
|
00:59:30.130 --> 00:59:31.358
|
|
You were nominated?
|
|
|
|
00:59:31.465 --> 00:59:32.989
|
|
No, no, no. I wasn't nominated.
|
|
|
|
00:59:33.100 --> 00:59:36.263
|
|
I'm just saying that to have been
|
|
nominated would have been nice.
|
|
|
|
00:59:36.370 --> 00:59:38.736
|
|
It's just... It's very political.
|
|
You have to take out ads...
|
|
|
|
00:59:38.839 --> 00:59:41.330
|
|
- Shut up now!
|
|
- Okay. Okay.
|
|
|
|
00:59:42.175 --> 00:59:43.904
|
|
So, are you going to
|
|
|
|
00:59:45.545 --> 00:59:47.172
|
|
let me go, or...
|
|
|
|
00:59:47.280 --> 00:59:49.407
|
|
No. We'll hold you for ransom.
|
|
|
|
00:59:49.516 --> 00:59:51.313
|
|
Much more money now!
|
|
|
|
01:00:02.896 --> 01:00:03.885
|
|
He's in a meeting.
|
|
|
|
01:00:03.997 --> 01:00:06.761
|
|
Yeah, I know.
|
|
In about two seconds with the Pecker.
|
|
|
|
01:00:07.801 --> 01:00:09.666
|
|
I'm gonna rip your fucking tits off.
|
|
|
|
01:00:09.770 --> 01:00:12.432
|
|
You wanna talk about trouble?
|
|
That's trouble.
|
|
|
|
01:00:12.539 --> 01:00:14.097
|
|
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
|
|
|
|
01:00:16.009 --> 01:00:17.909
|
|
What do you need, Peck?
|
|
|
|
01:00:18.011 --> 01:00:20.639
|
|
No, more like what do you need, Les?
|
|
|
|
01:00:20.747 --> 01:00:21.941
|
|
Glasses?
|
|
|
|
01:00:23.016 --> 01:00:24.074
|
|
What?
|
|
|
|
01:00:24.184 --> 01:00:26.675
|
|
So you can read
|
|
the Tropic Thunder contract
|
|
|
|
01:00:26.787 --> 01:00:29.187
|
|
that guarantees my client,
|
|
Tugg Speedman,
|
|
|
|
01:00:29.289 --> 01:00:33.020
|
|
some form of digital video recorder
|
|
on location.
|
|
|
|
01:00:33.794 --> 01:00:35.921
|
|
- Huh?
|
|
- I can't believe you let him in.
|
|
|
|
01:00:37.564 --> 01:00:40.397
|
|
Look, fuckstick, I'm incredibly busy,
|
|
so why don't you get the hell out of here
|
|
|
|
01:00:40.500 --> 01:00:43.560
|
|
before I snap your dick off
|
|
and jam it into your ass?
|
|
|
|
01:00:43.670 --> 01:00:45.695
|
|
No, not you, Helen.
|
|
|
|
01:00:45.806 --> 01:00:49.503
|
|
But I will rip your tits off
|
|
if you don't get me those theaters.
|
|
|
|
01:00:49.609 --> 01:00:51.133
|
|
Perfect.
|
|
|
|
01:00:51.244 --> 01:00:53.678
|
|
Hey, Tuggernuts,
|
|
I've got you on speakerphone.
|
|
|
|
01:00:53.780 --> 01:00:55.645
|
|
I'm standing here with Les Grossman,
|
|
|
|
01:00:55.749 --> 01:00:58.912
|
|
and he is dying to tell you
|
|
why he's apparently wiped his ass
|
|
|
|
01:00:59.019 --> 01:01:01.317
|
|
with the TiVo clause from your contract.
|
|
|
|
01:01:02.522 --> 01:01:04.513
|
|
We are Flaming Dragon.
|
|
|
|
01:01:04.624 --> 01:01:06.990
|
|
Speedman is with us now.
|
|
|
|
01:01:07.094 --> 01:01:10.655
|
|
For 50 million, you will get him back.
|
|
|
|
01:01:10.764 --> 01:01:12.925
|
|
- Are you gonna get those...
|
|
- Who is this?
|
|
|
|
01:01:13.033 --> 01:01:15.729
|
|
- And how did you get this phone?
|
|
- We are Flaming Dragon!
|
|
|
|
01:01:15.836 --> 01:01:17.736
|
|
Simple Jack belong to us now.
|
|
|
|
01:01:20.474 --> 01:01:22.499
|
|
He does, does he?
|
|
|
|
01:01:22.609 --> 01:01:25.077
|
|
Let me tell you something, shitbird.
|
|
|
|
01:01:25.178 --> 01:01:27.612
|
|
I've never even heard
|
|
of your little agency.
|
|
|
|
01:01:27.714 --> 01:01:29.682
|
|
But if you think
|
|
you can poach my client...
|
|
|
|
01:01:29.783 --> 01:01:34.311
|
|
Send $50 million, or you no see
|
|
Simple Jack again because we kill him.
|
|
|
|
01:01:34.421 --> 01:01:35.911
|
|
This is Les Grossman. Who is this?
|
|
|
|
01:01:36.022 --> 01:01:38.320
|
|
This is Flaming Dragon!
|
|
|
|
01:01:38.425 --> 01:01:41.189
|
|
Okay. Flaming Dragon. Fuckface.
|
|
|
|
01:01:41.294 --> 01:01:46.129
|
|
First, take a big step back
|
|
and literally fuck your own face!
|
|
|
|
01:01:47.501 --> 01:01:50.231
|
|
Now, I don't know what kind of
|
|
pan-Pacific bullshit power play
|
|
|
|
01:01:50.337 --> 01:01:52.805
|
|
you're trying to pull here,
|
|
but Asia, Jack, is my territory.
|
|
|
|
01:01:52.906 --> 01:01:54.203
|
|
So whatever you're thinking,
|
|
you better think again.
|
|
|
|
01:01:54.307 --> 01:01:55.672
|
|
Otherwise, I'm gonna
|
|
have to head down there,
|
|
|
|
01:01:55.775 --> 01:01:59.142
|
|
and I will rain down an ungodly
|
|
fucking firestorm upon you.
|
|
|
|
01:01:59.246 --> 01:02:00.873
|
|
You're gonna have to call
|
|
the fucking United Nations
|
|
|
|
01:02:00.981 --> 01:02:05.008
|
|
and get a fucking binding resolution
|
|
to keep me from fucking destroying you.
|
|
|
|
01:02:05.118 --> 01:02:07.712
|
|
I am talking scorched earth,
|
|
motherfucker!
|
|
|
|
01:02:07.821 --> 01:02:09.584
|
|
I will massacre you!
|
|
|
|
01:02:09.689 --> 01:02:11.623
|
|
I will fuck you up!
|
|
|
|
01:02:19.432 --> 01:02:21.161
|
|
- Could you find out who that was? Go.
|
|
- Yeah. Yeah.
|
|
|
|
01:02:56.603 --> 01:02:59.595
|
|
You wear these.
|
|
More like Simple Jack teeth.
|
|
|
|
01:02:59.706 --> 01:03:01.435
|
|
Okay.
|
|
|
|
01:03:01.541 --> 01:03:04.203
|
|
Hey. Look, I know you're a big fan,
|
|
and that's great...
|
|
|
|
01:03:07.280 --> 01:03:08.907
|
|
Put teeth in!
|
|
|
|
01:03:16.022 --> 01:03:17.887
|
|
Now do movie.
|
|
|
|
01:03:17.991 --> 01:03:19.652
|
|
The whole movie?
|
|
|
|
01:03:19.759 --> 01:03:21.420
|
|
I can't. I don't know the whole...
|
|
|
|
01:03:21.528 --> 01:03:24.019
|
|
You perform! You perform or die!
|
|
|
|
01:03:24.764 --> 01:03:26.254
|
|
Monkey swine!
|
|
|
|
01:03:29.169 --> 01:03:30.568
|
|
Pa.
|
|
|
|
01:03:32.539 --> 01:03:33.904
|
|
More stupid!
|
|
|
|
01:03:35.675 --> 01:03:40.738
|
|
Pa, why you gotta make me feel bad?
|
|
|
|
01:03:43.183 --> 01:03:44.514
|
|
You saw what I saw.
|
|
|
|
01:03:44.618 --> 01:03:47.212
|
|
Tugg Speedman is dead meat
|
|
if we don't do something soon.
|
|
|
|
01:03:47.320 --> 01:03:49.686
|
|
Yeah. We could do something
|
|
by getting our asses back to the hotel,
|
|
|
|
01:03:49.789 --> 01:03:51.120
|
|
which is in the other direction!
|
|
|
|
01:03:51.224 --> 01:03:52.816
|
|
Ain't right.
|
|
|
|
01:03:52.926 --> 01:03:54.951
|
|
What would've happened
|
|
in The Great Escape
|
|
|
|
01:03:55.061 --> 01:03:58.895
|
|
if Steve McQueen and them dudes
|
|
had turned tail and ran?
|
|
|
|
01:03:58.999 --> 01:04:02.992
|
|
Well, that's what that movie was about.
|
|
They were escaping. They ran away.
|
|
|
|
01:04:03.103 --> 01:04:05.731
|
|
I'm trying to agree with you.
|
|
The point is they did something.
|
|
|
|
01:04:05.839 --> 01:04:07.033
|
|
Then what are we supposed to do, huh?
|
|
|
|
01:04:07.140 --> 01:04:11.042
|
|
'Cause he's cleaning a gun
|
|
with no bullets. Yeah, that's a plan.
|
|
|
|
01:04:11.144 --> 01:04:14.944
|
|
I'm just like a little boy,
|
|
playing with his dick when he's nervous.
|
|
|
|
01:04:18.485 --> 01:04:20.976
|
|
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
|
|
Wait a minute.
|
|
|
|
01:04:21.087 --> 01:04:24.147
|
|
I got an idea.
|
|
This might be a little crazy.
|
|
|
|
01:04:24.257 --> 01:04:26.225
|
|
Crazy's better than nothing.
|
|
|
|
01:04:26.326 --> 01:04:30.285
|
|
Back in '98, I did a low-budget
|
|
titty comedy for Skinemax.
|
|
|
|
01:04:30.397 --> 01:04:33.730
|
|
- Sex Camp. Remember it?
|
|
- Yeah.
|
|
|
|
01:04:33.833 --> 01:04:37.792
|
|
Anyway, me and the campers
|
|
from the uncool camp
|
|
|
|
01:04:37.904 --> 01:04:40.429
|
|
had to break into the rich girl camp.
|
|
|
|
01:04:40.540 --> 01:04:42.235
|
|
So, what we did,
|
|
|
|
01:04:42.342 --> 01:04:45.334
|
|
we built a catapult
|
|
out of logs and underwear,
|
|
|
|
01:04:45.445 --> 01:04:49.006
|
|
and they shot us over the wall,
|
|
and we parachuted down.
|
|
|
|
01:04:54.621 --> 01:04:55.986
|
|
Look,
|
|
|
|
01:04:56.089 --> 01:04:59.388
|
|
- you guys, we already know the plan.
|
|
- Fine.
|
|
|
|
01:04:59.492 --> 01:05:03.861
|
|
We do it just like in the book,
|
|
Chapter 26, the Wet Offensive.
|
|
|
|
01:05:03.963 --> 01:05:06.363
|
|
The book of Tropic Thunder.
|
|
|
|
01:05:06.466 --> 01:05:08.696
|
|
Yeah, did you guys read the book?
|
|
|
|
01:05:10.003 --> 01:05:12.631
|
|
The flap, I read the back flap
|
|
and saw the pictures.
|
|
|
|
01:05:13.406 --> 01:05:16.534
|
|
Well, it's okay.
|
|
It's exactly the same as in the script.
|
|
|
|
01:05:16.643 --> 01:05:17.701
|
|
Cool.
|
|
|
|
01:05:19.679 --> 01:05:22.239
|
|
You guys all read the script, right?
|
|
|
|
01:05:22.349 --> 01:05:24.442
|
|
I don't read the script, script reads me.
|
|
|
|
01:05:25.618 --> 01:05:27.085
|
|
What the hell does that even mean?
|
|
|
|
01:05:27.187 --> 01:05:30.554
|
|
What you getting at with the books,
|
|
scripts? Spit that shit out, man!
|
|
|
|
01:05:33.893 --> 01:05:35.724
|
|
All right. The Wet Offensive.
|
|
|
|
01:05:36.763 --> 01:05:39.664
|
|
Osiris and Fats go undercover
|
|
as a diversion.
|
|
|
|
01:05:39.766 --> 01:05:42.098
|
|
Motown and Brooklyn sneak in
|
|
via the river.
|
|
|
|
01:05:42.202 --> 01:05:44.602
|
|
Yeah. But those dudes
|
|
was trained soldiers.
|
|
|
|
01:05:46.473 --> 01:05:47.531
|
|
Yeah!
|
|
|
|
01:05:48.608 --> 01:05:51.600
|
|
And we trained actors, motherfucker.
|
|
|
|
01:05:51.711 --> 01:05:56.045
|
|
Time to man up.
|
|
And I ain't gonna sugarcoat.
|
|
|
|
01:05:56.149 --> 01:05:58.913
|
|
Some of us
|
|
might not even make it back.
|
|
|
|
01:05:59.018 --> 01:06:02.112
|
|
What do you mean?
|
|
Like not on the same flight?
|
|
|
|
01:06:04.824 --> 01:06:07.588
|
|
Alpa and I's already wearing
|
|
earth mama's natural night camo.
|
|
|
|
01:06:07.694 --> 01:06:09.525
|
|
- Cool it, Benson.
|
|
- Sorry.
|
|
|
|
01:06:10.597 --> 01:06:15.125
|
|
We gonna scout, get a plan together.
|
|
We ain't back in 20, come looking.
|
|
|
|
01:06:16.636 --> 01:06:18.501
|
|
We are Flaming Dragon.
|
|
|
|
01:06:22.242 --> 01:06:23.436
|
|
Okay.
|
|
|
|
01:06:24.744 --> 01:06:27.838
|
|
Flaming Dragon's
|
|
a heroin manufacturer.
|
|
|
|
01:06:27.947 --> 01:06:31.041
|
|
They're responsible
|
|
for an eighth of the drug trade in Asia.
|
|
|
|
01:06:31.151 --> 01:06:34.382
|
|
- Huge profit margin.
|
|
- Guys!
|
|
|
|
01:06:34.487 --> 01:06:37.422
|
|
Would somebody please let me know
|
|
what the game plan is?
|
|
|
|
01:06:37.524 --> 01:06:39.253
|
|
Peck! We have it handled.
|
|
|
|
01:06:39.359 --> 01:06:41.850
|
|
Please, don't interrupt.
|
|
Everything's under control.
|
|
|
|
01:06:41.961 --> 01:06:43.952
|
|
I got it. Got it.
|
|
|
|
01:06:56.075 --> 01:06:58.305
|
|
- Les Grossman.
|
|
- We not get money yet.
|
|
|
|
01:06:58.845 --> 01:07:00.972
|
|
Price now 100 million!
|
|
|
|
01:07:01.080 --> 01:07:03.913
|
|
You pay now,
|
|
or tomorrow Simple Jack die.
|
|
|
|
01:07:04.017 --> 01:07:07.077
|
|
Great. Let me get this down.
|
|
|
|
01:07:07.187 --> 01:07:08.620
|
|
100 million.
|
|
|
|
01:07:08.721 --> 01:07:11.189
|
|
Wait! I got a better idea.
|
|
|
|
01:07:11.991 --> 01:07:13.822
|
|
Instead of 100 million,
|
|
|
|
01:07:13.927 --> 01:07:16.663
|
|
how about I send you
|
|
a hobo's dick cheese?
|
|
|
|
01:07:16.896 --> 01:07:19.194
|
|
Then you kill him! Do your thing!
|
|
Skin the fucking bastard!
|
|
|
|
01:07:19.299 --> 01:07:21.494
|
|
Go to town, man! Go to town!
|
|
|
|
01:07:21.601 --> 01:07:23.762
|
|
- No...
|
|
- In the meantime, and as usual,
|
|
|
|
01:07:23.870 --> 01:07:25.531
|
|
go fuck yourself!
|
|
|
|
01:07:26.639 --> 01:07:29.199
|
|
- No.
|
|
- We don't negotiate with terrorists.
|
|
|
|
01:07:31.311 --> 01:07:34.041
|
|
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
|
|
Hey, hey, are you insane?
|
|
|
|
01:07:34.147 --> 01:07:35.978
|
|
- I think I could've done that better.
|
|
- I thought it was good.
|
|
|
|
01:07:36.082 --> 01:07:37.379
|
|
They're gonna kill him!
|
|
|
|
01:07:43.256 --> 01:07:46.453
|
|
And we'll weep for him, in the press.
|
|
|
|
01:07:47.360 --> 01:07:50.022
|
|
Set up a scholarship in his name.
|
|
|
|
01:07:50.129 --> 01:07:54.065
|
|
Eventually, and I'm talking way,
|
|
way down the road,
|
|
|
|
01:07:54.167 --> 01:07:55.657
|
|
we file an insurance claim.
|
|
|
|
01:07:55.768 --> 01:07:58.566
|
|
Preferably before
|
|
the end of the fiscal year.
|
|
|
|
01:07:58.671 --> 01:08:02.402
|
|
Actually, the claim alone would net us
|
|
more than the movie would lose.
|
|
|
|
01:08:04.511 --> 01:08:06.274
|
|
You can't be serious.
|
|
|
|
01:08:08.214 --> 01:08:09.909
|
|
Let's face it.
|
|
|
|
01:08:10.016 --> 01:08:14.043
|
|
The kids aren't dressing up as Scorcher
|
|
for Purim anymore.
|
|
|
|
01:08:15.455 --> 01:08:18.447
|
|
Speedman is a dying star,
|
|
|
|
01:08:18.558 --> 01:08:21.789
|
|
a white dwarf heading for a black hole.
|
|
|
|
01:08:21.895 --> 01:08:24.625
|
|
That's physics. It's inevitable.
|
|
|
|
01:08:24.731 --> 01:08:28.064
|
|
We've been handed
|
|
an incredible opportunity here, Peck.
|
|
|
|
01:08:28.167 --> 01:08:32.001
|
|
The universe is talking to us right now.
|
|
|
|
01:08:32.105 --> 01:08:33.663
|
|
You just gotta listen.
|
|
|
|
01:08:46.786 --> 01:08:50.381
|
|
See, this is the good part, Pecker.
|
|
This is when the job gets fun.
|
|
|
|
01:08:50.490 --> 01:08:51.582
|
|
Yeah.
|
|
|
|
01:08:51.691 --> 01:08:54.854
|
|
Ask and you shall receive.
|
|
|
|
01:08:55.895 --> 01:09:00.025
|
|
- All right.
|
|
- You play ball, we play ball.
|
|
|
|
01:09:00.133 --> 01:09:03.500
|
|
I know you want the goodies.
|
|
|
|
01:09:03.603 --> 01:09:05.594
|
|
Welcome to the goody room.
|
|
|
|
01:09:05.705 --> 01:09:10.335
|
|
You paying attention?
|
|
'Cause I'm talking G5 for the Pecker.
|
|
|
|
01:09:10.443 --> 01:09:11.705
|
|
That's how you're gonna roll.
|
|
|
|
01:09:11.811 --> 01:09:15.770
|
|
No more frequent flier
|
|
bitch miles for my boy.
|
|
|
|
01:09:15.882 --> 01:09:17.179
|
|
Yeah!
|
|
|
|
01:09:17.684 --> 01:09:18.946
|
|
Playa.
|
|
|
|
01:09:19.819 --> 01:09:21.150
|
|
Playa!
|
|
|
|
01:09:22.188 --> 01:09:23.485
|
|
Big dick playa.
|
|
|
|
01:09:23.590 --> 01:09:25.581
|
|
Swinging past your knees!
|
|
|
|
01:09:25.692 --> 01:09:26.716
|
|
Big dick, baby.
|
|
|
|
01:09:26.826 --> 01:09:28.020
|
|
Yep.
|
|
|
|
01:09:31.364 --> 01:09:33.958
|
|
Or you can grow a conscience
|
|
|
|
01:09:34.067 --> 01:09:36.433
|
|
in the next five minutes
|
|
and see where that takes you.
|
|
|
|
01:09:41.407 --> 01:09:43.500
|
|
Let me get this straight.
|
|
|
|
01:09:43.610 --> 01:09:47.239
|
|
You want me
|
|
to let my client of 15 years,
|
|
|
|
01:09:47.347 --> 01:09:48.712
|
|
one of my best friends,
|
|
|
|
01:09:48.815 --> 01:09:53.445
|
|
die in the jungle, alone,
|
|
for some money and a G5?
|
|
|
|
01:09:54.587 --> 01:09:55.713
|
|
Yes.
|
|
|
|
01:10:00.793 --> 01:10:03.057
|
|
A G5 airplane?
|
|
|
|
01:10:05.164 --> 01:10:06.222
|
|
Yes.
|
|
|
|
01:10:07.300 --> 01:10:09.996
|
|
And lots of money.
|
|
|
|
01:10:11.371 --> 01:10:13.532
|
|
Playa.
|
|
|
|
01:10:16.442 --> 01:10:17.636
|
|
Yeah!
|
|
|
|
01:10:18.878 --> 01:10:21.472
|
|
Smack it up, flip it, rub it down!
|
|
|
|
01:10:24.050 --> 01:10:26.712
|
|
But Mama take care of Jack a lot.
|
|
|
|
01:10:27.553 --> 01:10:31.284
|
|
How many more sleeps
|
|
before she wakes up again?
|
|
|
|
01:10:31.391 --> 01:10:32.915
|
|
Sorry, Jack.
|
|
|
|
01:10:33.026 --> 01:10:35.290
|
|
She in heaven now.
|
|
|
|
01:10:36.062 --> 01:10:39.327
|
|
Damn! I thought the movie was bad.
|
|
|
|
01:10:39.432 --> 01:10:42.560
|
|
She sleep forever.
|
|
|
|
01:10:42.669 --> 01:10:45.797
|
|
To the man's credit, he's actually
|
|
eased up on the retard throttle.
|
|
|
|
01:10:45.905 --> 01:10:49.500
|
|
And now that's added a balance,
|
|
and the audience can connect.
|
|
|
|
01:10:49.609 --> 01:10:53.409
|
|
I mean, this is Theater 101,
|
|
but, you know, he's had a tough road.
|
|
|
|
01:10:53.513 --> 01:10:54.639
|
|
He'll become a naturalist.
|
|
|
|
01:10:54.747 --> 01:10:56.442
|
|
- Yeah.
|
|
- Break down the aesthetic distance,
|
|
|
|
01:10:56.549 --> 01:10:58.278
|
|
then the...
|
|
|
|
01:11:00.953 --> 01:11:02.580
|
|
Told you I'd tag you back.
|
|
|
|
01:11:05.258 --> 01:11:07.522
|
|
Can I tell you that I'm sorry
|
|
|
|
01:11:07.627 --> 01:11:09.925
|
|
for any offense I might've caused, man?
|
|
|
|
01:11:10.029 --> 01:11:12.395
|
|
- I just got caught up in...
|
|
- In being a dumbass?
|
|
|
|
01:11:12.498 --> 01:11:13.897
|
|
I guess so.
|
|
|
|
01:11:14.000 --> 01:11:16.696
|
|
Why you still doing this
|
|
Chicken George shit, I have no idea.
|
|
|
|
01:11:16.803 --> 01:11:18.100
|
|
- Neither do I.
|
|
- It's beyond me.
|
|
|
|
01:11:18.204 --> 01:11:20.399
|
|
- It's beyond me.
|
|
- You confused.
|
|
|
|
01:11:20.506 --> 01:11:22.440
|
|
- I am a little confused.
|
|
- I know.
|
|
|
|
01:11:24.043 --> 01:11:25.840
|
|
But are we cool?
|
|
|
|
01:11:25.945 --> 01:11:27.276
|
|
Not really.
|
|
|
|
01:11:31.084 --> 01:11:32.676
|
|
Hey, man.
|
|
|
|
01:11:32.785 --> 01:11:34.480
|
|
- How's it going?
|
|
- Good. Yourself?
|
|
|
|
01:11:34.587 --> 01:11:36.612
|
|
Hey, so, if it's no big deal,
|
|
|
|
01:11:36.723 --> 01:11:39.590
|
|
I think I'm just gonna hang back here
|
|
for the mission.
|
|
|
|
01:11:39.692 --> 01:11:41.319
|
|
Watch the stuff.
|
|
|
|
01:11:41.427 --> 01:11:43.452
|
|
- Is that cool?
|
|
- What? No!
|
|
|
|
01:11:43.563 --> 01:11:45.463
|
|
We need you, Jeff.
|
|
|
|
01:11:45.565 --> 01:11:47.157
|
|
What are you talking about?
|
|
|
|
01:11:47.266 --> 01:11:48.824
|
|
Okay, look, man.
|
|
|
|
01:11:50.069 --> 01:11:52.367
|
|
- I got something to tell you.
|
|
- Okay.
|
|
|
|
01:11:54.607 --> 01:11:57.337
|
|
You know those jellybeans
|
|
I was eating?
|
|
|
|
01:11:57.443 --> 01:12:00.537
|
|
Well, they weren't jellybeans, okay?
|
|
|
|
01:12:01.447 --> 01:12:04.245
|
|
- They were drugs.
|
|
- Really?
|
|
|
|
01:12:04.350 --> 01:12:08.719
|
|
I get down there near the mother lode,
|
|
I am done. I'm jonesing bad, man.
|
|
|
|
01:12:08.821 --> 01:12:11.756
|
|
I'm gonna fucking do all the heroin
|
|
in the fucking world.
|
|
|
|
01:12:15.061 --> 01:12:19.225
|
|
If you guys wanna make it through
|
|
this thing, you gotta strap me to a tree.
|
|
|
|
01:12:20.600 --> 01:12:24.366
|
|
- Are you serious?
|
|
- Yeah, I'm serious. Literally, a tree.
|
|
|
|
01:12:24.470 --> 01:12:27.337
|
|
And you can, no matter what, you can't
|
|
fucking untie me until it is done,
|
|
|
|
01:12:27.440 --> 01:12:28.998
|
|
until it is out of my system.
|
|
|
|
01:12:29.108 --> 01:12:30.735
|
|
I'm gonna say,
|
|
"Hey, man, I'm cool. It's cool.
|
|
|
|
01:12:30.843 --> 01:12:32.401
|
|
"I'm finally better. I'm finally better.
|
|
Untie me."
|
|
|
|
01:12:32.512 --> 01:12:35.709
|
|
Don't listen to me!
|
|
Anything I fucking say is a lie!
|
|
|
|
01:12:35.815 --> 01:12:37.146
|
|
You got it!
|
|
|
|
01:12:37.817 --> 01:12:39.876
|
|
Goodbye, Mama!
|
|
|
|
01:12:39.986 --> 01:12:43.114
|
|
Now you can have ice cream in heaven.
|
|
|
|
01:12:43.222 --> 01:12:48.182
|
|
I'll see you tonight, when I go to bed,
|
|
in my head movies.
|
|
|
|
01:12:49.128 --> 01:12:53.724
|
|
But this head movie
|
|
makes my eyes rain.
|
|
|
|
01:13:02.775 --> 01:13:06.006
|
|
Dang. Gilligan catching a kidney shot.
|
|
|
|
01:13:07.880 --> 01:13:10.678
|
|
- They got him on the move!
|
|
- That's torture, man.
|
|
|
|
01:13:10.817 --> 01:13:13.684
|
|
Okay. That's where they keeping him.
|
|
|
|
01:13:13.786 --> 01:13:15.981
|
|
I gotta get cracking on my costume.
|
|
|
|
01:13:16.088 --> 01:13:17.487
|
|
Say, are you good
|
|
with a needle and thread?
|
|
|
|
01:13:17.590 --> 01:13:18.614
|
|
Hell, yeah.
|
|
|
|
01:13:18.724 --> 01:13:22.057
|
|
Alpa Chino chinos sold more than
|
|
five million pairs last spring at the Gap.
|
|
|
|
01:13:22.161 --> 01:13:24.857
|
|
- I sewed them patterns myself, baby.
|
|
- Let's roll out.
|
|
|
|
01:13:56.863 --> 01:13:59.093
|
|
It's a little twig man Oscar.
|
|
|
|
01:14:05.705 --> 01:14:08.105
|
|
I'm going to call you Half Squat.
|
|
|
|
01:14:09.809 --> 01:14:11.777
|
|
And you can call me
|
|
|
|
01:14:12.845 --> 01:14:14.142
|
|
Papa.
|
|
|
|
01:14:37.637 --> 01:14:39.366
|
|
Wow, look at all those stars.
|
|
|
|
01:14:41.340 --> 01:14:43.308
|
|
Really makes a guy feel pretty small.
|
|
|
|
01:14:44.844 --> 01:14:47.246
|
|
This could be the last time
|
|
we look at these stars.
|
|
|
|
01:14:48.381 --> 01:14:49.848
|
|
Man, that's beauty.
|
|
|
|
01:14:51.784 --> 01:14:54.844
|
|
Nights like tonight
|
|
make a man wonder what it's all about.
|
|
|
|
01:14:54.954 --> 01:14:57.252
|
|
Hey, you guys.
|
|
Anybody got some bug spray?
|
|
|
|
01:14:59.091 --> 01:15:00.217
|
|
Don't ignore me!
|
|
|
|
01:15:00.326 --> 01:15:03.193
|
|
Stick it out, man.
|
|
We're gonna get through this.
|
|
|
|
01:15:04.330 --> 01:15:06.389
|
|
- Hey, Kirk?
|
|
- Yeah?
|
|
|
|
01:15:06.499 --> 01:15:09.332
|
|
Are you still dating
|
|
Jennifer Love Hewitt?
|
|
|
|
01:15:09.435 --> 01:15:10.834
|
|
'Cause I think she's hot.
|
|
|
|
01:15:10.937 --> 01:15:14.304
|
|
No, that was just some
|
|
tabloid conjecture.
|
|
|
|
01:15:14.407 --> 01:15:18.400
|
|
Hey, guys, I'm good. I made it through.
|
|
You can untie me now.
|
|
|
|
01:15:19.478 --> 01:15:20.809
|
|
Funny, huh?
|
|
|
|
01:15:20.913 --> 01:15:23.814
|
|
The circus life 280 days a year
|
|
on location.
|
|
|
|
01:15:25.051 --> 01:15:27.952
|
|
It's hard to find a girl
|
|
that can hang with that, you know?
|
|
|
|
01:15:29.755 --> 01:15:31.814
|
|
Not one worth keeping, nohow.
|
|
|
|
01:15:31.924 --> 01:15:34.222
|
|
Hey, Radar? Evans?
|
|
|
|
01:15:34.327 --> 01:15:35.385
|
|
No, it's Kevin.
|
|
|
|
01:15:35.494 --> 01:15:37.223
|
|
Kev, whatever the fuck.
|
|
Come over here.
|
|
|
|
01:15:37.330 --> 01:15:39.560
|
|
I didn't tell you, but Fatties: Fart Three
|
|
is coming down the pike,
|
|
|
|
01:15:39.665 --> 01:15:43.157
|
|
and there's a role in there for you
|
|
if you come over and untie me.
|
|
|
|
01:15:43.269 --> 01:15:45.829
|
|
Jeff, you're just going to
|
|
have to tough it out.
|
|
|
|
01:15:45.938 --> 01:15:47.906
|
|
Your mother's a cankerous whore!
|
|
|
|
01:15:48.007 --> 01:15:49.338
|
|
Jesus, man.
|
|
|
|
01:15:50.376 --> 01:15:51.843
|
|
Hey, man.
|
|
|
|
01:15:51.944 --> 01:15:54.845
|
|
Remember way back when I said
|
|
your mother was a cankerous whore?
|
|
|
|
01:15:54.947 --> 01:15:58.348
|
|
I'm sorry, man.
|
|
I did not mean that. She's not.
|
|
|
|
01:15:58.451 --> 01:16:00.146
|
|
How about you, man?
|
|
|
|
01:16:00.286 --> 01:16:02.720
|
|
You got some little minx waiting for you
|
|
on the other side of tomorrow?
|
|
|
|
01:16:02.822 --> 01:16:04.289
|
|
Me?
|
|
|
|
01:16:04.390 --> 01:16:07.154
|
|
I've barely even had a girlfriend, and...
|
|
|
|
01:16:07.994 --> 01:16:11.657
|
|
I was really hoping I'd get laid
|
|
when this movie came out,
|
|
|
|
01:16:11.764 --> 01:16:14.164
|
|
but that's not gonna happen.
|
|
|
|
01:16:15.034 --> 01:16:16.501
|
|
What about you, Masterblaster?
|
|
|
|
01:16:16.602 --> 01:16:19.230
|
|
You got a certain someone you trying
|
|
to get with back in the States?
|
|
|
|
01:16:19.338 --> 01:16:24.071
|
|
What, Alpa Chino?
|
|
He's like 10 girls deep, 24/7.
|
|
|
|
01:16:24.176 --> 01:16:25.404
|
|
No. You missing me, man.
|
|
|
|
01:16:25.511 --> 01:16:27.308
|
|
I'm talking about something special.
|
|
Big difference.
|
|
|
|
01:16:27.413 --> 01:16:28.607
|
|
How about it?
|
|
|
|
01:16:29.382 --> 01:16:30.508
|
|
Yeah.
|
|
|
|
01:16:31.917 --> 01:16:33.885
|
|
Yeah, there is.
|
|
|
|
01:16:33.986 --> 01:16:37.319
|
|
Well? What's the skinny?
|
|
Y'all been on a date or what?
|
|
|
|
01:16:37.423 --> 01:16:39.323
|
|
No. I mean...
|
|
|
|
01:16:39.425 --> 01:16:44.260
|
|
I always wanted to, but I guess
|
|
I just never had the courage to ask.
|
|
|
|
01:16:44.363 --> 01:16:46.058
|
|
It's... It's complicated.
|
|
|
|
01:16:46.165 --> 01:16:48.599
|
|
No! It's simple as pie, man.
|
|
|
|
01:16:48.701 --> 01:16:51.295
|
|
You plant your feet in the ground, you
|
|
look her square in the eyes, you say,
|
|
|
|
01:16:51.404 --> 01:16:55.033
|
|
"Hey, baby, you and me's going
|
|
on a date." That's the end of story.
|
|
|
|
01:16:55.141 --> 01:16:57.837
|
|
- What's her name?
|
|
- Lance.
|
|
|
|
01:16:57.943 --> 01:16:59.706
|
|
"Listen here, Lance..."
|
|
|
|
01:17:00.579 --> 01:17:04.379
|
|
Lance? What the fuck did I just hear?
|
|
Lance?
|
|
|
|
01:17:04.483 --> 01:17:06.212
|
|
- Did you say "Lance"?
|
|
- No!
|
|
|
|
01:17:06.318 --> 01:17:08.252
|
|
- That sounded like "Lance."
|
|
- No, I said "Nance."
|
|
|
|
01:17:08.354 --> 01:17:10.515
|
|
- That's what I said, "Nance."
|
|
- It sounded like "Lance."
|
|
|
|
01:17:10.623 --> 01:17:12.147
|
|
Look, I'm Alpa Chino, okay?
|
|
|
|
01:17:12.258 --> 01:17:13.919
|
|
I love the pussy! All right?
|
|
|
|
01:17:14.026 --> 01:17:15.926
|
|
Lay your ass back down
|
|
and look at the stars.
|
|
|
|
01:17:16.062 --> 01:17:17.393
|
|
When you wrote I Love Tha Pussy
|
|
|
|
01:17:17.496 --> 01:17:20.863
|
|
was you thinking of dangling your dice
|
|
on Lance's forehead?
|
|
|
|
01:17:20.966 --> 01:17:23.332
|
|
Oh, hell, no! What? Come on. Look.
|
|
|
|
01:17:23.436 --> 01:17:26.371
|
|
- Man, everyone's gay once in a while.
|
|
- I'm not gay!
|
|
|
|
01:17:26.472 --> 01:17:27.496
|
|
This Hollywood.
|
|
|
|
01:17:27.606 --> 01:17:28.664
|
|
How about we all get back to work?
|
|
|
|
01:17:28.774 --> 01:17:30.435
|
|
- Okay. Cool.
|
|
- This is ridiculous!
|
|
|
|
01:17:30.543 --> 01:17:33.444
|
|
We got a big day tomorrow.
|
|
Let's get focused.
|
|
|
|
01:17:36.015 --> 01:17:40.850
|
|
Alpa, if you untie me,
|
|
I will literally suck your dick right now.
|
|
|
|
01:17:40.953 --> 01:17:44.184
|
|
I told you, for the last time,
|
|
I love the pussy!
|
|
|
|
01:17:45.558 --> 01:17:48.391
|
|
I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft,
|
|
|
|
01:17:48.494 --> 01:17:51.588
|
|
work the pipe and swallow the gravy.
|
|
|
|
01:17:51.697 --> 01:17:53.756
|
|
Get it over here, buddy. Let's do this.
|
|
|
|
01:18:00.339 --> 01:18:01.397
|
|
Okay, so, what's the plan?
|
|
|
|
01:18:01.507 --> 01:18:02.906
|
|
Are you gonna talk Vietnamese
|
|
to those dudes?
|
|
|
|
01:18:03.008 --> 01:18:04.771
|
|
No. No. Mandarin Chinese.
|
|
|
|
01:18:04.877 --> 01:18:06.572
|
|
Which, from what I can tell,
|
|
is what they speaking down there.
|
|
|
|
01:18:06.679 --> 01:18:08.237
|
|
How the hell do you know Chinese?
|
|
|
|
01:18:08.347 --> 01:18:11.805
|
|
Land of Silk and Money with Gong Li.
|
|
Second Globe, third Oscar.
|
|
|
|
01:18:11.917 --> 01:18:15.876
|
|
Prepped for that one by working in
|
|
a Beijing textile factory for eight months.
|
|
|
|
01:18:15.988 --> 01:18:17.922
|
|
That might be our ride.
|
|
|
|
01:18:27.733 --> 01:18:28.961
|
|
The straps are too tight!
|
|
|
|
01:18:29.068 --> 01:18:31.434
|
|
Shut your mouth and follow my lead.
|
|
|
|
01:19:24.290 --> 01:19:25.484
|
|
Okay.
|
|
|
|
01:19:27.693 --> 01:19:29.251
|
|
All right.
|
|
|
|
01:19:29.361 --> 01:19:31.761
|
|
That looks like it could be
|
|
the munitions hut right there.
|
|
|
|
01:19:31.864 --> 01:19:33.923
|
|
I'm gonna try to find Speedman
|
|
in the main building.
|
|
|
|
01:19:53.419 --> 01:19:55.011
|
|
Get over here!
|
|
|
|
01:19:56.388 --> 01:19:57.946
|
|
- What are you guys doing here?
|
|
- He has hands.
|
|
|
|
01:19:58.057 --> 01:20:00.457
|
|
- He killed Damien.
|
|
- Bullshit!
|
|
|
|
01:20:00.559 --> 01:20:03.050
|
|
- He blinded Jamie Lee Curtis.
|
|
- Almost!
|
|
|
|
01:20:03.162 --> 01:20:06.359
|
|
What are you talking about?
|
|
Damien stepped on a old landmine.
|
|
|
|
01:20:06.465 --> 01:20:08.023
|
|
Sweet. Thank God.
|
|
|
|
01:20:08.133 --> 01:20:10.328
|
|
- We busting Speedman out.
|
|
- Speedman's here?
|
|
|
|
01:20:19.812 --> 01:20:21.336
|
|
They got my boom boom up here.
|
|
|
|
01:20:21.447 --> 01:20:24.041
|
|
I take it y'all are doing
|
|
the Wet Offensive from the book.
|
|
|
|
01:20:24.149 --> 01:20:25.411
|
|
I can give y'all a diversion.
|
|
|
|
01:20:25.517 --> 01:20:29.453
|
|
I got enough shit here to light this place
|
|
up like it's the Fourth of fucking July.
|
|
|
|
01:21:10.929 --> 01:21:13.397
|
|
Yes, your farm.
|
|
|
|
01:21:17.770 --> 01:21:20.170
|
|
Where is your farm,
|
|
|
|
01:21:21.740 --> 01:21:23.207
|
|
American?
|
|
|
|
01:21:26.045 --> 01:21:27.307
|
|
My farm?
|
|
|
|
01:21:29.248 --> 01:21:30.510
|
|
Oh, shit.
|
|
|
|
01:21:31.283 --> 01:21:34.480
|
|
Here's my motherfucking farm!
|
|
|
|
01:21:34.586 --> 01:21:36.076
|
|
Yeah!
|
|
|
|
01:21:41.026 --> 01:21:44.018
|
|
Yeah! Chicka-chickaw, baby!
|
|
|
|
01:21:45.030 --> 01:21:46.224
|
|
Kwan-Lo!
|
|
|
|
01:21:47.733 --> 01:21:49.633
|
|
I'm a lead farmer, motherfucker!
|
|
|
|
01:21:50.135 --> 01:21:51.295
|
|
Yeah!
|
|
|
|
01:21:52.871 --> 01:21:56.068
|
|
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
|
|
keep your head down!
|
|
|
|
01:21:56.175 --> 01:21:58.439
|
|
Keep your head down on the ground!
|
|
|
|
01:21:58.544 --> 01:22:00.705
|
|
Nobody move or I do the little big guy!
|
|
|
|
01:22:00.813 --> 01:22:04.249
|
|
That's right,
|
|
we running this program now, J.P.
|
|
|
|
01:22:04.350 --> 01:22:06.978
|
|
Now show me where the drugs are.
|
|
|
|
01:22:07.086 --> 01:22:08.883
|
|
What the fuck?
|
|
|
|
01:22:08.987 --> 01:22:10.682
|
|
That ain't the plan!
|
|
|
|
01:22:10.789 --> 01:22:12.484
|
|
Don't judge me!
|
|
|
|
01:22:16.161 --> 01:22:17.924
|
|
He's got a real serious problem.
|
|
|
|
01:22:18.731 --> 01:22:20.995
|
|
Hey! Hey, you!
|
|
|
|
01:22:21.100 --> 01:22:23.295
|
|
Take off your clothes!
|
|
|
|
01:22:23.402 --> 01:22:25.063
|
|
Take off your clothes!
|
|
|
|
01:22:25.170 --> 01:22:26.467
|
|
What do we do now?
|
|
|
|
01:22:26.572 --> 01:22:28.403
|
|
Stick with the plan. Find Speedman.
|
|
|
|
01:22:28.507 --> 01:22:30.907
|
|
Alpa, keep this clown posse down.
|
|
Come on now.
|
|
|
|
01:22:31.009 --> 01:22:34.376
|
|
Y'all heard the man.
|
|
Be suede, don't move!
|
|
|
|
01:22:34.480 --> 01:22:36.380
|
|
Fuck your do-rag. Fuck your do-rag.
|
|
|
|
01:22:36.482 --> 01:22:38.973
|
|
- Door!
|
|
- One, two, three!
|
|
|
|
01:22:52.264 --> 01:22:54.095
|
|
I go high, you go low.
|
|
|
|
01:22:58.470 --> 01:23:02.338
|
|
Get down. Get down! Get down!
|
|
Chow Yun-Fat, get the hell down!
|
|
|
|
01:23:02.441 --> 01:23:05.740
|
|
If I see one more head pop up,
|
|
it's gonna be bullet Whac-A-Mole.
|
|
|
|
01:23:07.312 --> 01:23:08.745
|
|
Come on, come on!
|
|
|
|
01:23:08.847 --> 01:23:10.838
|
|
- Smoke grenade.
|
|
- Don't drop it now.
|
|
|
|
01:23:11.517 --> 01:23:13.075
|
|
Here.
|
|
|
|
01:23:13.185 --> 01:23:15.585
|
|
- What's this?
|
|
- I don't know what it's called.
|
|
|
|
01:23:15.687 --> 01:23:18.281
|
|
I just know the sound it makes
|
|
when it lies.
|
|
|
|
01:23:18.390 --> 01:23:21.917
|
|
Don't move, Matchbox,
|
|
or I will shoot you.
|
|
|
|
01:23:22.027 --> 01:23:24.894
|
|
I'm gonna put on this thing. Don't move.
|
|
|
|
01:23:24.997 --> 01:23:26.726
|
|
I can still see you.
|
|
|
|
01:23:32.871 --> 01:23:33.963
|
|
Tugg!
|
|
|
|
01:23:36.508 --> 01:23:37.668
|
|
Tugg?
|
|
|
|
01:23:39.745 --> 01:23:40.939
|
|
Gotcha.
|
|
|
|
01:23:42.114 --> 01:23:45.015
|
|
Roll your shit up, man. We going home.
|
|
|
|
01:23:45.117 --> 01:23:46.243
|
|
Home?
|
|
|
|
01:23:48.387 --> 01:23:52.221
|
|
But I'm doing five shows a day
|
|
for a standing-room-only crowd.
|
|
|
|
01:23:52.324 --> 01:23:54.884
|
|
Don't you get it? I already am home.
|
|
|
|
01:23:57.196 --> 01:24:00.324
|
|
All right, now, dude, you gotta get it...
|
|
|
|
01:24:00.432 --> 01:24:02.627
|
|
My son gave this to me.
|
|
|
|
01:24:02.734 --> 01:24:06.226
|
|
- That's your stick buddy?
|
|
- His name is Twigman.
|
|
|
|
01:24:06.338 --> 01:24:08.169
|
|
Does he wanna come with us?
|
|
|
|
01:24:28.427 --> 01:24:30.190
|
|
Get the hell down!
|
|
|
|
01:24:30.295 --> 01:24:33.355
|
|
What you doing? What you doing?
|
|
Don't touch that gun.
|
|
|
|
01:24:33.465 --> 01:24:34.864
|
|
Don't do it! Don't touch that gun!
|
|
|
|
01:24:34.967 --> 01:24:37.265
|
|
On my momma, if you touch that gun...
|
|
|
|
01:24:41.907 --> 01:24:44.307
|
|
- Oh, shit, it's on!
|
|
- Over here!
|
|
|
|
01:25:15.641 --> 01:25:17.700
|
|
Shadow me, Pinocchio!
|
|
|
|
01:25:17.809 --> 01:25:19.037
|
|
Smoke!
|
|
|
|
01:25:24.883 --> 01:25:26.578
|
|
Oh, shit!
|
|
|
|
01:25:31.423 --> 01:25:32.947
|
|
Jeff, don't!
|
|
|
|
01:25:33.792 --> 01:25:35.783
|
|
It doesn't matter what I do.
|
|
|
|
01:25:35.894 --> 01:25:38.863
|
|
I'll always be a screw-up.
|
|
No one'll ever respect me.
|
|
|
|
01:25:38.964 --> 01:25:42.957
|
|
That is not true, you are not a screw-up!
|
|
You make so many people laugh.
|
|
|
|
01:25:43.068 --> 01:25:45.298
|
|
They only laugh at my farts.
|
|
|
|
01:25:45.404 --> 01:25:47.395
|
|
Jeff, we really need to go now!
|
|
|
|
01:25:47.506 --> 01:25:49.098
|
|
This is all I deserve!
|
|
|
|
01:26:09.261 --> 01:26:11.491
|
|
Laugh at that, you bastards!
|
|
|
|
01:26:11.597 --> 01:26:14.998
|
|
Hilarious! Hilarious!
|
|
|
|
01:26:16.535 --> 01:26:19.368
|
|
Let's move. We only have 16 hours
|
|
before they wake up.
|
|
|
|
01:26:26.979 --> 01:26:28.571
|
|
Sounds like the dinner bell's ringing.
|
|
|
|
01:26:28.680 --> 01:26:31.615
|
|
These assholes are gonna be crawling
|
|
in here ready to fucking eat us.
|
|
|
|
01:26:34.553 --> 01:26:37.420
|
|
There. All right, you keep six right here.
|
|
|
|
01:26:39.358 --> 01:26:41.519
|
|
Come on, let's go.
|
|
|
|
01:26:41.627 --> 01:26:43.561
|
|
Come on, what are you guys doing?
|
|
Let's get out of here!
|
|
|
|
01:26:43.662 --> 01:26:45.323
|
|
He's on tilt status.
|
|
|
|
01:26:45.430 --> 01:26:49.389
|
|
Same thing happened to me when
|
|
I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot.
|
|
|
|
01:26:49.501 --> 01:26:51.594
|
|
They found me in an alley in Burbank
|
|
|
|
01:26:51.703 --> 01:26:54.934
|
|
trying to re-enter the Earth's
|
|
atmosphere in an old refrigerator box.
|
|
|
|
01:27:00.445 --> 01:27:02.675
|
|
Give me the flame thrower.
|
|
You gotta start the chopper.
|
|
|
|
01:27:02.781 --> 01:27:06.217
|
|
- No, fuck that! Just give me this.
|
|
- No time! I'll take care of this!
|
|
|
|
01:27:07.452 --> 01:27:09.352
|
|
All right. Give me your hooks.
|
|
|
|
01:27:09.454 --> 01:27:11.081
|
|
Don't worry,
|
|
I'm not gonna put them on again.
|
|
|
|
01:27:11.189 --> 01:27:14.022
|
|
- Just give me your goddamn hooks.
|
|
- All right. Here.
|
|
|
|
01:27:14.126 --> 01:27:16.287
|
|
Get those boys back to the bird, pronto!
|
|
|
|
01:27:21.233 --> 01:27:23.394
|
|
Shit! Enough!
|
|
|
|
01:27:23.502 --> 01:27:25.402
|
|
Fake shit!
|
|
|
|
01:27:28.507 --> 01:27:29.633
|
|
Fuck!
|
|
|
|
01:27:37.349 --> 01:27:40.512
|
|
Go get your guys!
|
|
Get them to the chopper!
|
|
|
|
01:27:40.619 --> 01:27:42.712
|
|
I'll take care of these yahoos!
|
|
|
|
01:27:44.756 --> 01:27:47.020
|
|
You're gonna focus up now,
|
|
motherfucker, and say it.
|
|
|
|
01:27:47.125 --> 01:27:49.252
|
|
- "It's me, Tugg!"
|
|
- It's me, Tugg.
|
|
|
|
01:27:49.361 --> 01:27:50.828
|
|
That's right! Now, Tugg who?
|
|
|
|
01:27:50.929 --> 01:27:53.727
|
|
- Tugg who? I don't know. Who are you?
|
|
- Me?
|
|
|
|
01:27:53.832 --> 01:27:55.527
|
|
I know who I am!
|
|
|
|
01:27:55.634 --> 01:27:59.365
|
|
I'm a dude playing a dude
|
|
disguised as another dude.
|
|
|
|
01:27:59.471 --> 01:28:00.529
|
|
What?
|
|
|
|
01:28:00.639 --> 01:28:02.732
|
|
You a dude
|
|
that don't know what dude he is!
|
|
|
|
01:28:02.841 --> 01:28:05.537
|
|
Or are you a dude who has no idea
|
|
what dude he is
|
|
|
|
01:28:05.644 --> 01:28:06.906
|
|
and claims to know what dude he is...
|
|
|
|
01:28:07.012 --> 01:28:08.747
|
|
What the fuck
|
|
are you guys talking about?
|
|
|
|
01:28:08.880 --> 01:28:09.972
|
|
...by playing other dudes?
|
|
|
|
01:28:10.082 --> 01:28:11.276
|
|
I know what dude I am!
|
|
|
|
01:28:11.383 --> 01:28:14.181
|
|
- You're scared.
|
|
- I ain't scared. Scared of what?
|
|
|
|
01:28:14.286 --> 01:28:15.548
|
|
Or scared of who?
|
|
|
|
01:28:15.654 --> 01:28:18.248
|
|
- Scared of who?
|
|
- Come on, guys. We really need to go!
|
|
|
|
01:28:18.356 --> 01:28:19.618
|
|
Scared of you.
|
|
|
|
01:28:24.529 --> 01:28:26.861
|
|
- Jesus.
|
|
- What's going on?
|
|
|
|
01:28:26.965 --> 01:28:28.489
|
|
The dudes are emerging.
|
|
|
|
01:28:28.600 --> 01:28:29.931
|
|
He's right, you know.
|
|
|
|
01:28:31.703 --> 01:28:33.102
|
|
I am not
|
|
|
|
01:28:34.673 --> 01:28:36.368
|
|
Sergeant Lincoln Osiris.
|
|
|
|
01:28:40.779 --> 01:28:42.246
|
|
We gotta roll out.
|
|
|
|
01:28:42.347 --> 01:28:45.578
|
|
Nor am I Father O'Malley.
|
|
|
|
01:28:47.819 --> 01:28:50.754
|
|
Or Neil Armstrong.
|
|
|
|
01:28:58.330 --> 01:29:00.491
|
|
I think I might be nobody.
|
|
|
|
01:29:01.900 --> 01:29:03.060
|
|
Wow!
|
|
|
|
01:29:03.168 --> 01:29:05.830
|
|
The insecurity level
|
|
with you guys is ridiculous!
|
|
|
|
01:29:07.105 --> 01:29:10.074
|
|
- Everybody's got issues!
|
|
- Yeah, man, everybody got issues.
|
|
|
|
01:29:10.175 --> 01:29:12.735
|
|
Come on! You're Kirk Lazarus.
|
|
|
|
01:29:12.844 --> 01:29:15.005
|
|
You're the whole reason
|
|
I got into acting.
|
|
|
|
01:29:15.113 --> 01:29:16.944
|
|
I memorized every single monologue
|
|
|
|
01:29:17.048 --> 01:29:19.642
|
|
you ever did
|
|
when I was in theater school.
|
|
|
|
01:29:19.751 --> 01:29:21.776
|
|
- Really?
|
|
- Yeah. And look, Tugg!
|
|
|
|
01:29:21.887 --> 01:29:24.321
|
|
I saw Scorcher I
|
|
24 times when I was in eighth grade.
|
|
|
|
01:29:24.422 --> 01:29:27.391
|
|
That shit blew me away!
|
|
I got high to that shit! You the man!
|
|
|
|
01:29:27.492 --> 01:29:30.620
|
|
Yeah, man, Scorcher I was great.
|
|
Let's get the fuck out of here!
|
|
|
|
01:29:30.729 --> 01:29:34.859
|
|
Tugg, Tugger, you're the last piece
|
|
of the puzzle, buddy.
|
|
|
|
01:29:34.966 --> 01:29:37.958
|
|
We need you! Your men need you!
|
|
Are you with us?
|
|
|
|
01:29:42.307 --> 01:29:44.298
|
|
I'm a rooster illusion.
|
|
|
|
01:29:44.409 --> 01:29:45.603
|
|
Fuck it. We'll deal with him later.
|
|
|
|
01:29:45.710 --> 01:29:48.873
|
|
Let's move. Come on. Come on.
|
|
Double time. Gotta go!
|
|
|
|
01:29:51.416 --> 01:29:53.213
|
|
Come on, come on, come on.
|
|
|
|
01:29:56.988 --> 01:29:58.922
|
|
Bingo! Move out.
|
|
|
|
01:30:00.859 --> 01:30:02.224
|
|
Oh, God.
|
|
|
|
01:30:04.196 --> 01:30:07.063
|
|
Just say no to this,
|
|
you drug-making midget.
|
|
|
|
01:30:11.636 --> 01:30:13.103
|
|
Gotta hold on!
|
|
|
|
01:30:19.277 --> 01:30:20.642
|
|
Four Leaf!
|
|
|
|
01:30:25.383 --> 01:30:26.714
|
|
You grew hands?
|
|
|
|
01:30:35.961 --> 01:30:37.485
|
|
RPG, gentlemen!
|
|
|
|
01:30:40.265 --> 01:30:41.789
|
|
Where are you going?
|
|
|
|
01:30:47.305 --> 01:30:49.830
|
|
Oh, my God.
|
|
I am moving to catering after this.
|
|
|
|
01:31:11.863 --> 01:31:13.194
|
|
My ass!
|
|
|
|
01:31:16.434 --> 01:31:17.765
|
|
My ass!
|
|
|
|
01:31:19.371 --> 01:31:22.636
|
|
Hey, yo!
|
|
We gotta get our shit together, Tugg!
|
|
|
|
01:31:22.741 --> 01:31:24.971
|
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We gotta get his cracker ass
|
|
to the chopper!
|
|
|
|
01:31:25.076 --> 01:31:29.376
|
|
Are you still crazy?
|
|
We gotta get Candisky to the chopper!
|
|
|
|
01:31:29.481 --> 01:31:30.948
|
|
It's Sandusky.
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|
|
01:31:32.817 --> 01:31:36.116
|
|
- Kevin Sandusky.
|
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- That's my name.
|
|
|
|
01:31:36.221 --> 01:31:37.813
|
|
You remembered my name.
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|
|
01:31:37.923 --> 01:31:39.948
|
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Alpa, go help Cody.
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|
|
|
01:31:40.058 --> 01:31:42.049
|
|
Portnoy, get Sandusky
|
|
back to the chopper. Go!
|
|
|
|
01:31:42.160 --> 01:31:43.991
|
|
- I got him!
|
|
- Let's go!
|
|
|
|
01:31:45.430 --> 01:31:46.954
|
|
Let's get out of here!
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|
|
|
01:31:58.843 --> 01:32:00.333
|
|
Hey, Leaf!
|
|
|
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01:32:00.445 --> 01:32:01.673
|
|
- Leaf!
|
|
- Yeah.
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|
|
|
01:32:01.780 --> 01:32:02.769
|
|
Hit the plunger
|
|
|
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01:32:02.881 --> 01:32:04.075
|
|
- as soon as they clear the bridge!
|
|
- Got it!
|
|
|
|
01:32:05.750 --> 01:32:08.184
|
|
Come on! Get in the chopper!
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|
|
|
01:32:09.020 --> 01:32:11.818
|
|
- Come on! Move!
|
|
- Kirk! Wait!
|
|
|
|
01:32:14.526 --> 01:32:17.620
|
|
- What the hell is he doing?
|
|
- Laz, I'm gonna blow the bridge!
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|
|
|
01:32:17.729 --> 01:32:18.923
|
|
Leaf's about to blow the bridge.
|
|
Come on!
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|
|
|
01:32:19.030 --> 01:32:21.624
|
|
You don't have to! You don't have to!
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I'm staying.
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|
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01:32:21.733 --> 01:32:23.223
|
|
No, I can't let you do that, mate.
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We gotta go.
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|
|
01:32:23.335 --> 01:32:25.860
|
|
No, I'm telling you, I'm not being crazy.
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They'll listen to me.
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|
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01:32:25.971 --> 01:32:28.804
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I know it sounds weird,
|
|
but I have a connection with them.
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|
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01:32:28.907 --> 01:32:32.741
|
|
- Get over here!
|
|
- I have a son now. Little Half Squat.
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|
|
01:32:32.844 --> 01:32:34.402
|
|
Who in crikey fuck is Half Squat?
|
|
|
|
01:32:34.512 --> 01:32:36.742
|
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He's my son. He's my boy!
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|
|
|
01:32:36.848 --> 01:32:39.282
|
|
He needs me. I have to go back to him.
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|
|
01:32:42.420 --> 01:32:44.081
|
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You tell the world what happened here.
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|
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01:32:44.189 --> 01:32:46.020
|
|
What happened here?
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|
|
01:32:46.124 --> 01:32:48.354
|
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I don't know, but you need to tell them.
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|
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01:32:50.729 --> 01:32:52.560
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|
I got this.
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|
|
|
01:32:52.664 --> 01:32:53.824
|
|
Tugg!
|
|
|
|
01:32:54.532 --> 01:32:58.093
|
|
You take care of the boys!
|
|
I'll deal with these guys.
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|
|
01:32:59.504 --> 01:33:03.099
|
|
Where is he going?
|
|
We're gonna fucking die!
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|
|
|
01:33:03.208 --> 01:33:05.836
|
|
Laz, come on. He joined the circus.
|
|
Let's go.
|
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|
|
01:33:05.944 --> 01:33:07.138
|
|
- You've got hands.
|
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- Yeah.
|
|
|
|
01:33:07.245 --> 01:33:09.372
|
|
- Fuck! You've got hands?
|
|
- Come on!
|
|
|
|
01:33:10.448 --> 01:33:11.574
|
|
- Come on!
|
|
- Get in!
|
|
|
|
01:33:11.683 --> 01:33:13.310
|
|
- Come on!
|
|
- He's staying?
|
|
|
|
01:33:13.418 --> 01:33:15.682
|
|
Go! He's a lost cause, mate!
|
|
Get out of here!
|
|
|
|
01:33:20.258 --> 01:33:24.752
|
|
I was wrong! Blow the bridge!
|
|
Blow the fucking bridge!
|
|
|
|
01:33:30.602 --> 01:33:32.001
|
|
I got this.
|
|
|
|
01:33:32.670 --> 01:33:34.103
|
|
Leaf, no!
|
|
|
|
01:34:18.249 --> 01:34:20.877
|
|
It's over! He's gone!
|
|
|
|
01:34:20.985 --> 01:34:23.044
|
|
Cody! We gotta go!
|
|
|
|
01:34:25.056 --> 01:34:26.250
|
|
Look.
|
|
|
|
01:34:48.880 --> 01:34:50.211
|
|
Think he's done.
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|
|
|
01:34:50.315 --> 01:34:51.543
|
|
Cover me!
|
|
|
|
01:34:52.617 --> 01:34:55.552
|
|
- Come on!
|
|
- Wait, come back!
|
|
|
|
01:34:55.653 --> 01:34:57.382
|
|
How do we cover him?
|
|
|
|
01:35:01.626 --> 01:35:04.963
|
|
All right, game over. Come on, mate.
|
|
Come on.
|
|
|
|
01:35:05.130 --> 01:35:07.724
|
|
- You all right, man?
|
|
- I'm cold.
|
|
|
|
01:35:07.832 --> 01:35:09.823
|
|
I can't feel my legs.
|
|
|
|
01:35:09.934 --> 01:35:12.869
|
|
No, no, they're in a puddle, mate. See?
|
|
There's a puddle right there.
|
|
|
|
01:35:12.971 --> 01:35:14.165
|
|
- No worries.
|
|
- Good.
|
|
|
|
01:35:14.272 --> 01:35:15.569
|
|
Come on, we gotta split, man.
|
|
|
|
01:35:15.673 --> 01:35:17.971
|
|
- You guys came back for me.
|
|
- Course.
|
|
|
|
01:35:18.076 --> 01:35:20.408
|
|
Hey! I want you to know something.
|
|
|
|
01:35:20.512 --> 01:35:21.706
|
|
What?
|
|
|
|
01:35:22.881 --> 01:35:24.678
|
|
I know who you are.
|
|
|
|
01:35:26.784 --> 01:35:28.547
|
|
You're my friend.
|
|
|
|
01:35:30.822 --> 01:35:32.449
|
|
You're my brother.
|
|
|
|
01:35:33.324 --> 01:35:36.157
|
|
But like a really cool brother, you know?
|
|
|
|
01:35:36.261 --> 01:35:37.626
|
|
Like a brother
|
|
where there was no animosity or...
|
|
|
|
01:35:37.729 --> 01:35:40.562
|
|
Don't look now,
|
|
you got some real tears going.
|
|
|
|
01:35:40.665 --> 01:35:41.654
|
|
Really?
|
|
|
|
01:35:41.766 --> 01:35:43.256
|
|
That's the stuff
|
|
that accolades are made of.
|
|
|
|
01:35:43.368 --> 01:35:44.835
|
|
Jesus, let's go, man!
|
|
|
|
01:35:44.936 --> 01:35:46.403
|
|
All right?
|
|
|
|
01:35:47.972 --> 01:35:49.405
|
|
Upsy-daisy.
|
|
|
|
01:35:51.176 --> 01:35:54.168
|
|
Come on! Come on! Come on!
|
|
Let's go! Let's go!
|
|
|
|
01:35:56.314 --> 01:35:57.611
|
|
Get in! Get in!
|
|
|
|
01:35:57.715 --> 01:35:59.740
|
|
Come on! Here we go!
|
|
|
|
01:36:02.287 --> 01:36:05.085
|
|
Tuggernuts! I got it!
|
|
|
|
01:36:07.458 --> 01:36:09.756
|
|
- Tugger!
|
|
- Rick!
|
|
|
|
01:36:12.363 --> 01:36:13.591
|
|
What the fuck?
|
|
|
|
01:36:13.698 --> 01:36:15.325
|
|
I got the TiVo!
|
|
|
|
01:36:16.234 --> 01:36:20.637
|
|
My friend wants a TiVo,
|
|
my friend gets a TiVo!
|
|
|
|
01:36:25.810 --> 01:36:27.072
|
|
Oh, shit!
|
|
|
|
01:37:03.915 --> 01:37:05.940
|
|
And the Oscar goes to...
|
|
|
|
01:37:08.686 --> 01:37:10.984
|
|
Yes! Tugg Speedman.
|
|
|
|
01:37:12.624 --> 01:37:15.320
|
|
"Tropic Blunder,
|
|
The True Story Behind the Making
|
|
|
|
01:37:15.426 --> 01:37:17.951
|
|
"of the Most Expensive
|
|
Fake True War Story Ever."
|
|
|
|
01:37:19.530 --> 01:37:20.656
|
|
Yeah!
|
|
|
|
01:37:25.370 --> 01:37:27.270
|
|
Yeah, you son of a bitch!
|
|
|
|
01:37:46.591 --> 01:37:50.960
|
|
Eight Oscars, $400 million
|
|
|
|
01:37:51.062 --> 01:37:54.293
|
|
and you saved
|
|
Tugg Speedman's career.
|
|
|
|
01:37:54.399 --> 01:37:57.266
|
|
I couldn't have done it
|
|
without you, Slolom.
|
|
|
|
01:37:59.304 --> 01:38:00.396
|
|
Really?
|
|
|
|
01:38:00.505 --> 01:38:02.496
|
|
No, dickhead, of course I could.
|
|
|
|
01:38:02.607 --> 01:38:05.269
|
|
- A nutless monkey could do your job.
|
|
- Well, I...
|
|
|
|
01:38:05.376 --> 01:38:08.277
|
|
Now, go get drunk
|
|
and take credit at all the parties.
|
|
|
|
01:38:08.379 --> 01:38:11.075
|
|
- I would never do that to...
|
|
- Joking.
|
|
|
|
01:38:11.182 --> 01:38:12.547
|
|
- Yeah?
|
|
- Yeah.
|
|
|
|
01:38:12.650 --> 01:38:14.845
|
|
Very... Okay, there he is.
|
|
|
|
01:38:14.952 --> 01:38:16.442
|
|
- There he is. Okay.
|
|
- Go have fun.
|
|
|
|
01:38:16.554 --> 01:38:18.078
|
|
All right. We're having a...
|
|
|
|
01:38:18.189 --> 01:38:20.589
|
|
Fuck, okay. Thank you, Les.
|
|
Thank you. You have a good night...
|
|
|
|
01:38:20.692 --> 01:38:23.092
|
|
But seriously,
|
|
a nutless monkey could do your job.
|
|
|
|
01:38:23.194 --> 01:38:24.923
|
|
Good. Thank you, sir.
|
|
|