From 80344ed3b39062fa524ac4c8a3574e98043bab8a Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Aevann Date: Tue, 26 Sep 2023 13:55:15 +0300 Subject: [PATCH] change subtitles --- files/assets/subtitles.vtt | 6929 +++++++++++++++++++++++++----------- 1 file changed, 4888 insertions(+), 2041 deletions(-) diff --git a/files/assets/subtitles.vtt b/files/assets/subtitles.vtt index cb75dab6b..006dee118 100644 --- a/files/assets/subtitles.vtt +++ b/files/assets/subtitles.vtt @@ -1,2479 +1,5326 @@ WEBVTT -00:01:43.600 --> 00:01:44.600 +00:00:01.634 --> 00:00:02.965 +Alpa Chino! + +00:00:03.069 --> 00:00:04.764 +We're loaded + +00:00:04.871 --> 00:00:06.202 +I love the pussy, hell, yeah + +00:00:06.306 --> 00:00:07.705 +I love the pussy, hell, yeah + +00:00:07.807 --> 00:00:10.469 +I love that pussy +dripping down to the floor, oh, no + +00:00:10.577 --> 00:00:13.068 +The wettest pussy, hell, yeah +I love the pussy, hell, yeah + +00:00:13.179 --> 00:00:16.273 +I'm drinking up +your Booty Sweat and busting a nut + +00:00:16.383 --> 00:00:18.146 +Alpa Chino got that pussy control + +00:00:18.251 --> 00:00:20.151 +Alpa Chino's Booty Sweat. + +00:00:20.253 --> 00:00:21.686 +Pop an ass open! + +00:00:21.788 --> 00:00:25.280 +Booty Sweat and Bust-A-Nut bars +available at concessions now. + +00:00:29.396 --> 00:00:33.526 +In 2013, when the Earth's rotation +came to a halt... + +00:00:33.633 --> 00:00:37.194 +The President has declared +all of North America a disaster area. + +00:00:37.303 --> 00:00:39.999 +I call on my fellow Americans +to come together... + +00:00:40.106 --> 00:00:44.133 +... the world called on the one man +who could make a difference. + +00:00:48.181 --> 00:00:52.413 +When it happened again, +the world called on him once more. + +00:00:53.620 --> 00:00:59.422 +And no one saw it coming +three more times! + +00:01:02.028 --> 00:01:03.689 +Now, + +00:01:03.797 --> 00:01:07.733 +the one man who made a difference +five times before, + +00:01:10.170 --> 00:01:14.539 +is about to make a difference again. + +00:01:15.275 --> 00:01:19.371 +Only this time, it's different. + +00:01:21.214 --> 00:01:22.841 +Who left the fridge open? + +00:01:24.284 --> 00:01:26.218 +Tugg Speedman. + +00:01:26.319 --> 00:01:31.086 +Scorcher Vl: Global Meltdown. + +00:01:31.191 --> 00:01:32.954 +Here we go again. + +00:01:34.494 --> 00:01:35.552 +Again. + +00:01:44.104 --> 00:01:46.971 +Will there be anything else? + +00:01:47.073 --> 00:01:50.270 +Yes, my dear man. More beans. + +00:01:52.078 --> 00:01:54.239 +Granny! + +00:01:56.182 --> 00:01:57.342 +Please! + +00:01:57.450 --> 00:02:02.410 +This summer, +America's favorite obese family is back. + +00:02:05.291 --> 00:02:06.849 +Gross! + +00:02:06.960 --> 00:02:08.985 +- You're just mad 'cause I'm skinny. +- Am not! + +00:02:09.562 --> 00:02:11.052 +Jeff Portnoy. + +00:02:11.731 --> 00:02:13.198 +Jeff Portnoy. + +00:02:13.800 --> 00:02:15.290 +Jeff Portnoy. + +00:02:15.401 --> 00:02:21.499 +And Jeff Portnoy are +The Fatties: Fart Two. + +00:02:21.608 --> 00:02:23.439 +In some countries, + +00:02:24.644 --> 00:02:26.271 +it's considered a compliment. + +00:02:26.379 --> 00:02:29.576 +Letting loose this summer. + +00:02:38.858 --> 00:02:44.592 +In a time where to be different +was to be condemned, + +00:02:58.344 --> 00:03:03.043 +and to be condemned was to die, + +00:03:07.287 --> 00:03:11.348 +one man chose to question his God. + +00:03:15.328 --> 00:03:17.023 +From Fox Searchlight, + +00:03:25.872 --> 00:03:29.103 +five-time Academy Award winner +Kirk Lazarus + +00:03:30.210 --> 00:03:34.544 +and MTV Movie Award +Best Kiss winner Tobey Maguire. + +00:03:40.920 --> 00:03:45.448 +Winner of the Beijing Film Festival's +coveted Crying Monkey Award, + +00:03:46.659 --> 00:03:48.650 +Satan's Alley. + +00:03:53.032 --> 00:03:55.762 +I've been a bad, bad boy, Father. + +00:04:31.204 --> 00:04:34.002 +In the winter of 1969, + +00:04:34.107 --> 00:04:36.132 +an elite force of the U.S. Army + +00:04:36.242 --> 00:04:41.111 +was sent on a top-secret assignment +in southeast Vietnam. + +00:04:41.214 --> 00:04:43.978 +The objective, +rescue Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback + +00:04:44.083 --> 00:04:47.143 +from a heavily guarded +NVA Prison Camp. + +00:04:47.253 --> 00:04:50.347 +The mission was considered +to be near suicide. + +00:04:51.658 --> 00:04:54.957 +Of the 10 men sent, four returned. + +00:04:55.061 --> 00:04:58.497 +Of those four, three wrote books +about what happened. + +00:04:58.598 --> 00:05:01.567 +Of those three, two were published. + +00:05:01.668 --> 00:05:05.832 +Of those two, just one got a movie deal. + +00:05:07.340 --> 00:05:12.573 +This is the story of the men +who attempted to make that movie. + +00:05:23.389 --> 00:05:25.983 +Whiskey Fire Old Snake +requests an LZ prep + +00:05:26.092 --> 00:05:28.652 +at Alpha-Delta-two-four-eight-niner, +over. + +00:05:33.966 --> 00:05:38.232 +Floyd, this is lead. Right echelon +approach from RP to LZ, acknowledge. + +00:05:39.372 --> 00:05:41.499 +Floyd, Wall-Eye airborne. +Welcome aboard. + +00:05:44.944 --> 00:05:46.673 +All right, lead's going in. +Give her some cover. + +00:05:46.779 --> 00:05:49.612 +Delivery on five. +I repeat, delivery on five. + +00:05:55.688 --> 00:05:57.986 +This is Zero-Three. +I'm on your six, don't worry. + +00:05:58.324 --> 00:06:00.952 +Chalk-Three's taking fire. +Guns right, guns right. + +00:06:07.734 --> 00:06:09.861 +Lay that shit down! + +00:06:09.969 --> 00:06:11.266 +Come on! + +00:06:13.106 --> 00:06:15.404 +Come on, you damn dirty heathens! + +00:06:15.508 --> 00:06:18.841 +Wall-Eye, Wall-Eye, +this is Boomer One-Seven in the Zee! + +00:06:18.945 --> 00:06:22.346 +I need fast movers +on my Yankee Smoke, copy? + +00:06:22.448 --> 00:06:24.382 +Boomer, this is Wall-Eye. +I got two-Alpha-four + +00:06:24.484 --> 00:06:26.714 +- snake and nape on the ready! +- Oh, Jesus! Holy shit! + +00:06:26.819 --> 00:06:27.979 +Holy shit! + +00:06:28.087 --> 00:06:29.884 +Get on that horn +and get some firepower, boy! + +00:06:29.989 --> 00:06:31.149 +Jesus Christ! + +00:06:31.257 --> 00:06:32.554 +Listen, you cherry fuck, + +00:06:32.658 --> 00:06:36.185 +you call in that snake and nape +and get us some boom-boom now! + +00:06:36.295 --> 00:06:38.786 +I'd do it myself +but I'm kind of goddamn busy! + +00:06:38.898 --> 00:06:40.263 +I need an answer, Boomer! + +00:06:40.366 --> 00:06:42.061 +Wall-Eye, Wall-Eye! + +00:06:42.168 --> 00:06:43.533 +I copy! + +00:06:45.405 --> 00:06:46.895 +What the fuck? + +00:06:55.081 --> 00:06:57.515 +That's for Brooklyn, motherfucker! + +00:06:57.617 --> 00:06:59.414 +I think I can put it back in! + +00:06:59.519 --> 00:07:02.454 +This is the last Christmas +I spend with Victor Charlie up my ass! + +00:07:02.555 --> 00:07:05.291 +Want some? Get some! + +00:07:05.358 --> 00:07:08.384 +Hey, yo, Fats! I ain't seen Four Leaf! + +00:07:08.494 --> 00:07:11.691 +Don't count him out! That bastard's +got luck tattooed to his ass! + +00:07:11.798 --> 00:07:14.790 +Motown, get your Detroit jukebox +Jheri curl ass + +00:07:14.901 --> 00:07:17.131 +in this chickenshit chop-chop! ASAFP! + +00:07:17.236 --> 00:07:19.067 +Four Leaf is still +outside the perimeter, Sarge! + +00:07:19.172 --> 00:07:23.666 +Miss me with that cracker chump jive! +We di di mau! We di di mau! + +00:07:23.776 --> 00:07:25.175 +Come on, get down, get down! + +00:07:25.278 --> 00:07:27.303 +What am I looking at? What is this? + +00:07:28.214 --> 00:07:32.173 +Come on, let's get, let's go! +Come on, elevator up, up! + +00:07:32.285 --> 00:07:34.810 +Sarge. It's Four Leaf. + +00:07:48.100 --> 00:07:49.158 +No! + +00:07:55.575 --> 00:07:56.837 +Survive! + +00:08:10.022 --> 00:08:12.513 +Cover me, you limp dick fuckups! + +00:08:18.164 --> 00:08:21.395 +Peek-a-boo! I see you! + +00:08:23.436 --> 00:08:25.165 +Hold on, Four Leaf! + +00:08:27.807 --> 00:08:29.138 +Oh, shit! + +00:08:31.410 --> 00:08:32.900 +Watch my right! + +00:08:34.580 --> 00:08:36.844 +Come on, Leaf, let's boogie! + +00:08:44.190 --> 00:08:45.851 +No! + +00:08:45.958 --> 00:08:47.050 +No! + +00:08:50.229 --> 00:08:52.322 +- Fats! +- Holy fuck! + +00:08:53.599 --> 00:08:56.159 +Take us over to those men! Shit! + +00:09:00.640 --> 00:09:03.609 +Look at you, man. +Playing with grenades. + +00:09:07.113 --> 00:09:08.375 +I'm cold, Linc. + +00:09:10.416 --> 00:09:12.247 +I can't feel my legs. + +00:09:13.386 --> 00:09:15.377 +Ain't nothing but a thang. + +00:09:16.856 --> 00:09:19.086 +Hold my hands, + +00:09:19.191 --> 00:09:21.022 +'cause I got something to... + +00:09:21.127 --> 00:09:22.992 +I got something to say. + +00:09:24.397 --> 00:09:26.058 +Oh, boy. + +00:09:30.069 --> 00:09:32.970 +When we get back to the world, + +00:09:33.072 --> 00:09:35.802 +I'm gonna finally teach you +how to juggle. + +00:09:37.777 --> 00:09:41.042 +I ain't never been worth a nothing +in this life, + +00:09:41.147 --> 00:09:43.911 +but I want you to know something. + +00:09:44.984 --> 00:09:46.281 +What, man? + +00:09:48.187 --> 00:09:49.484 +You are my... + +00:09:50.990 --> 00:09:52.685 +You are my brother. + +00:10:05.671 --> 00:10:10.699 +You are my brother. +You are my... You are my... + +00:10:10.876 --> 00:10:12.503 +I am your brother. + +00:10:16.015 --> 00:10:17.744 +I'm sorry. Could we cut? + +00:10:17.850 --> 00:10:19.340 +- What's he saying? +- Damien, can we cut? + +00:10:19.452 --> 00:10:21.113 +- No. No, no, no, no, no... +- All right, you know what? + +00:10:21.220 --> 00:10:24.212 +We got the jets coming in, +big explosion, two minutes. + +00:10:24.323 --> 00:10:25.415 +Still rolling. + +00:10:25.524 --> 00:10:27.151 +You know what? No, not still rolling. +Can we cut? + +00:10:27.259 --> 00:10:28.920 +- We're cutting. +- No, we're not. Get out! + +00:10:29.028 --> 00:10:30.996 +Hey, what's going on? +For real, my butt is hurting! + +00:10:31.097 --> 00:10:33.031 +This harness is riding up my crack! + +00:10:33.132 --> 00:10:35.794 +- Damien, are we cutting? +- No! No! Still rolling! + +00:10:35.901 --> 00:10:38.028 +Mr. Cockburn! Are we cutting, sir? + +00:10:38.137 --> 00:10:41.300 +No! No. I'm not cutting! +We're still rolling! + +00:10:41.407 --> 00:10:42.465 +Damien, what's the dealy, dude? + +00:10:42.575 --> 00:10:44.372 +Are we gonna blow +this tree line or what? + +00:10:44.477 --> 00:10:46.035 +Tuk Tuk and Kim +got the blue balls here. + +00:10:46.145 --> 00:10:47.373 +I'm gonna let them squirt if we're a go! + +00:10:47.480 --> 00:10:49.710 +- Play it through. Still rolling! +- Dieter, can he hear me? + +00:10:49.815 --> 00:10:52.375 +That's C-4, dipshit. Put that back. +I said a detonator. + +00:10:52.485 --> 00:10:54.851 +I need some dudes up here +who speak American, God damn it! + +00:10:54.954 --> 00:10:56.421 +He's making +a fucking sweater back here. + +00:10:56.522 --> 00:10:58.854 +I'm trying to put Tiger Balm +on this jungle's nuts. + +00:10:58.958 --> 00:11:00.084 +Oh, shit! + +00:11:00.192 --> 00:11:01.819 +Alpa Chino hotline. What's up? +What's up, baby? + +00:11:01.927 --> 00:11:04.122 +What the fuck is going on here? + +00:11:04.230 --> 00:11:05.390 +Everyone, please shut up. + +00:11:05.498 --> 00:11:07.989 +The jets are coming in. +We only have one chance at this! + +00:11:08.100 --> 00:11:10.261 +On three, baby. One, two, breathe. + +00:11:10.369 --> 00:11:12.894 +Look, do me a favor. I don't want to do +a countdown before I do the scene. + +00:11:13.005 --> 00:11:14.063 +- No countdown? +- No countdown. + +00:11:14.173 --> 00:11:15.367 +- Okay. +- Can we just do it off of "Action"? + +00:11:15.474 --> 00:11:17.032 +Just... In your own time. + +00:11:17.143 --> 00:11:18.940 +- Good... +- I'm not a rocket ship, okay? + +00:11:19.045 --> 00:11:20.672 +- All right, dude. +- And action! + +00:11:20.780 --> 00:11:23.715 +Whatever floats your boat, baby. +Fuck! Don't die! + +00:11:23.816 --> 00:11:26.250 +Erika, get me a VitaminWater! + +00:11:26.352 --> 00:11:27.819 +You know what it is, Damien? I'm sorry. + +00:11:27.920 --> 00:11:32.323 +Not to get into his thing, but if +I'm crying, should Osiris be crying, too? + +00:11:32.425 --> 00:11:34.325 +- No, it's everyone cry... +- We cutting or we crying? + +00:11:34.427 --> 00:11:35.758 +- No, no, no, we're crying! +- Just call it, man! + +00:11:35.861 --> 00:11:37.988 +- Kirk, you can cry. Tugg, you can cry. +- Thanks! + +00:11:38.097 --> 00:11:39.826 +- Everybody cry... +- You know what? + +00:11:39.932 --> 00:11:41.900 +- You see how agitated he is now? +- I know. + +00:11:42.001 --> 00:11:44.435 +- Let's make lemonade. Let's go to work. +- Okay. Still rolling! + +00:11:44.837 --> 00:11:47.499 +This is Falcon One. We have the ridge +in sight, approximately two miles out. + +00:11:47.606 --> 00:11:49.870 +Dieter, these jets +are about to crest this ridge line. + +00:11:49.975 --> 00:11:51.909 +They got about 200 pounds +of shit your pants. + +00:11:52.011 --> 00:11:53.171 +I need to know if we're ready to go. + +00:11:55.815 --> 00:11:58.113 +- You're my... You're my... +- I am your... + +00:11:58.217 --> 00:12:01.675 +See, that's what I think it is, Damien. +I think it's the line. + +00:12:01.787 --> 00:12:02.811 Yeah? -00:01:44.700 --> 00:01:47.140 -Can you turn down the music. +00:12:02.922 --> 00:12:04.787 +I don't know if Four Leaf +would say that... Four Leaf? -00:01:47.140 --> 00:01:48.100 +00:12:04.890 --> 00:12:07.222 +Were you crying +when your hands blew up? + +00:12:07.326 --> 00:12:08.953 +No. See, he didn't. +Yeah, I mean, just that's what... + +00:12:09.061 --> 00:12:10.619 +So now we in re-writes, right? + +00:12:10.730 --> 00:12:11.856 +- Where you going? +- Let's re-write it! + +00:12:11.964 --> 00:12:14.125 +Action Jackson can't cry. +That's what's going down. + +00:12:14.233 --> 00:12:16.201 +You know what, Kirk? +I'm ready to do the scene! + +00:12:16.302 --> 00:12:19.863 +What scene? The scene is +about emotionality. Where is it? + +00:12:19.972 --> 00:12:21.564 +- Now it's time to flip the script! +- Kirk... + +00:12:21.674 --> 00:12:23.835 +Be here till Chinese New Year +waiting for my man to cry. + +00:12:23.943 --> 00:12:25.376 +Here they come! + +00:12:25.478 --> 00:12:28.675 +- Kirk, no! +- Stop tailgating me, you pasty teabag! + +00:12:28.781 --> 00:12:29.770 +Can I make pee-pee? + +00:12:29.882 --> 00:12:32.282 +- The planes are inbound! +- I know! Oh, shit! + +00:12:32.384 --> 00:12:35.581 +Get the fruit... Jesus! Fuck! +Shit! Cocksucking! + +00:12:35.688 --> 00:12:39.385 +- That's the signal! Go, go, go, go, go! +- Tropic tits! + +00:12:39.492 --> 00:12:41.551 +Goddamn shit-picking cock! + +00:12:43.329 --> 00:12:45.058 +It's beautiful! + +00:12:51.103 --> 00:12:54.038 +Mother Nature just pissed her pantsuit! + +00:12:54.340 --> 00:12:57.207 +Hot! Hot, hot, hot, hot! Fuck! + +00:13:01.814 --> 00:13:03.372 +- Sweet. +- Oh, mama! + +00:13:03.516 --> 00:13:04.881 +Let me down! + +00:13:05.985 --> 00:13:08.249 +Bungle in the jungle. + +00:13:08.354 --> 00:13:11.448 +More bad news from the Vietnamese set +of Tropic Thunder, + +00:13:11.557 --> 00:13:15.288 +where a $4 million explosion +charred the Asian location + +00:13:15.394 --> 00:13:17.362 +and the camera wasn't even rolling. + +00:13:17.463 --> 00:13:20.125 +Financed by hotheaded mega-mogul +Les Grossman, + +00:13:20.232 --> 00:13:23.326 +the film is already rumored to be +one month behind schedule + +00:13:23.435 --> 00:13:26.302 +just five days into shooting. +The reason? + +00:13:26.405 --> 00:13:29.340 +Fingers are pointed at rookie director +Damien Cockburn, + +00:13:29.441 --> 00:13:32.535 +who, insiders say, +can't control a star-studded cast, + +00:13:32.645 --> 00:13:37.344 +including flatulent star of the popular +Fatties franchise, Jeff Portnoy. + +00:13:37.449 --> 00:13:39.974 +Let me tell you something. +A lot of people are disrespecting me. + +00:13:40.085 --> 00:13:43.816 +They say that the movie's +just about farts. It's about family, + +00:13:43.923 --> 00:13:47.017 +and... you! You can't do what I do. + +00:13:47.126 --> 00:13:51.358 +Fresh from his most recent arrest +for heroin, glue and crack possession, + +00:13:51.463 --> 00:13:53.829 +Portnoy was almost uninsurable. + +00:13:53.933 --> 00:13:58.267 +Also in the mix is Booty Sweat-hocking +hip-hop hyphenate Alpa Chino. + +00:13:58.370 --> 00:14:00.861 +I'm so excited, you know what I'm +saying, about doing Tropic Thunder. + +00:14:00.973 --> 00:14:03.134 +Hey, drink Booty Sweat, baby. +Drink Booty Sweat. + +00:14:03.242 --> 00:14:04.903 +But the real heavyweight on the set + +00:14:05.010 --> 00:14:07.706 +is five-time Academy Award winner +Kirk Lazarus. + +00:14:07.813 --> 00:14:11.544 +The brilliant Australian +known for his bad boy antics off-screen + +00:14:11.650 --> 00:14:15.245 +is famous for his total immersion +into any role he portrays. + +00:14:15.354 --> 00:14:16.188 +Well, being an actor is no different + +00:14:16.188 --> 00:14:16.654 +Well, being an actor is no different + +00:14:16.755 --> 00:14:18.950 +than being a rugby player +or a construction worker, + +00:14:19.058 --> 00:14:20.184 +save for the fact that my tools + +00:14:20.292 --> 00:14:22.351 +are the mechanisms +that trigger human emotion. + +00:14:22.461 --> 00:14:24.520 +Lazarus underwent a controversial + +00:14:24.630 --> 00:14:27.622 +pigmentation alteration procedure +in order to play + +00:14:27.733 --> 00:14:30.827 +the platoon's African-American +sergeant, Lincoln Osiris. + +00:14:30.936 --> 00:14:32.369 +Yeah! + +00:14:32.471 --> 00:14:34.336 +Trying to hold his own onscreen +with Kirk + +00:14:34.440 --> 00:14:36.567 +is action juggernaut Tugg Speedman. + +00:14:36.675 --> 00:14:39.473 +Once the highest grossing star +in the world, + +00:14:39.578 --> 00:14:42.638 +lately his Scorcher films +have lost their heat. + +00:14:42.748 --> 00:14:45.342 +Recently, Speedman opened up to Tyra. + +00:14:45.451 --> 00:14:47.385 +You have no real family. + +00:14:47.486 --> 00:14:51.923 +You're on the wrong side of 40. +You're childless and alone. + +00:14:52.024 --> 00:14:53.719 +Somebody close to you said, + +00:14:53.826 --> 00:14:56.624 +"One more flop and it's over." + +00:14:58.731 --> 00:15:00.824 +Somebody said they were close to me? + +00:15:01.767 --> 00:15:02.893 +It's been a tough year for Tugg. + +00:15:03.002 --> 00:15:05.766 +The disappointing buddy comedy +Chitlin' & the Dude + +00:15:05.871 --> 00:15:10.535 +was followed by an ill-advised venture +into serious dramatic territory. + +00:15:10.643 --> 00:15:11.735 +Simple Jack, + +00:15:11.844 --> 00:15:15.575 +the story of a mentally impaired +farmhand who can talk to animals, + +00:15:15.681 --> 00:15:17.546 +was a box office disaster + +00:15:17.650 --> 00:15:22.246 +that many critics called, +"One of the worst movies of all time." + +00:15:22.354 --> 00:15:25.983 +I ain't got a good brain. + +00:15:27.026 --> 00:15:29.927 +I think you've got a fine brain, Jack. + +00:15:30.029 --> 00:15:35.194 +You make me happy. + +00:15:36.735 --> 00:15:41.172 +But now the question is, +can Speedman make audiences happy + +00:15:41.273 --> 00:15:43.036 +in what's being called +the most expensive + +00:15:43.142 --> 00:15:45.406 +- war movie never made? +- Rick Peck. + +00:15:45.511 --> 00:15:47.001 +Wishing Tugg all the best on that one. + +00:15:47.112 --> 00:15:51.446 +Rum-Tum-Tuggernauts, it's the Pecker. +You got time for your agent? + +00:15:51.550 --> 00:15:52.812 +- Rick? +- Hey, buddy, + +00:15:52.918 --> 00:15:54.476 +guess who I'm staring at right now. + +00:15:54.586 --> 00:15:56.247 +- What? +- I'm looking at your ugly mug + +00:15:56.355 --> 00:15:58.653 +on the back cover +of Vanity Fair magazine, + +00:15:58.757 --> 00:16:01.191 +holding a cute, cuddly panda +from Cutesville. + +00:16:01.293 --> 00:16:03.887 +It is insane, bro. You are a rock star. + +00:16:03.996 --> 00:16:06.590 +Hey, did you get the gift basket I sent? + +00:16:06.699 --> 00:16:07.723 +From Rick. + +00:16:07.833 --> 00:16:09.926 +Yeah. Yeah. It's cool, man. Thanks. + +00:16:10.035 --> 00:16:12.595 +All right, +that is a real satellite phone, bro. + +00:16:12.705 --> 00:16:14.297 +Do not re-gift. + +00:16:14.406 --> 00:16:16.897 +Hey. You see +that Access Hollywood piece? + +00:16:17.009 --> 00:16:19.944 +Yeah, I did. +It was like pistol-whipping a blind kid. + +00:16:20.045 --> 00:16:24.482 +I mean, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, +Tugg. You are a huge star, all right? + +00:16:24.583 --> 00:16:26.050 +But right now, + +00:16:26.151 --> 00:16:27.709 +you're like that kid on the playground, +you know, + +00:16:27.820 --> 00:16:30.789 +the one who has lice that none +of the other kids want to play with? + +00:16:30.889 --> 00:16:32.880 +- What do you mean? +- I mean we gotta shave your head + +00:16:32.992 --> 00:16:35.460 +and get you back +on the monkey bars, right? + +00:16:35.561 --> 00:16:36.892 What? -00:01:48.200 --> 00:01:50.620 -Can you turn down the music! +00:16:36.996 --> 00:16:38.861 +How did the crying scene go? -00:01:50.620 --> 00:01:53.140 -I'm trying to get some sleep here! +00:16:38.964 --> 00:16:40.727 +Horrible. Lazarus started crying. -00:01:53.140 --> 00:01:54.800 -Turn down the music? +00:16:40.833 --> 00:16:43.996 +Then he starts drooling and dribbling, +and it wasn't even in the script... -00:01:56.720 --> 00:01:58.100 -How's that! - -00:01:59.800 --> 00:02:02.100 -How's that. Is that much better? - -00:02:02.100 --> 00:02:06.400 -Turn down your damn music, or I'll come over there and turn it down myself! - -00:02:07.100 --> 00:02:10.300 -All right, sucker. You come down here, we can dance. - -00:02:11.800 --> 00:02:12.800 -Hello? - -00:02:13.400 --> 00:02:14.340 -Hello? - -00:02:15.700 --> 00:02:16.400 -Bitch! - -00:02:45.000 --> 00:02:50.800 -When I don't get enough sleep, I get -irritable. And you don't want to make me - - -00:04:29.600 --> 00:04:32.500 -'Calling VAGAN' - -00:04:39.700 --> 00:04:41.800 -Wait! Who are you? - -00:04:43.000 --> 00:04:45.760 -Just a bean trying to -get some sleep. - -00:04:46.100 --> 00:04:47.500 -Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! - -00:04:47.600 --> 00:04:50.240 -You came here just to make us turn off -the music? - -00:04:50.900 --> 00:04:52.900 -If you were listening on the phone, - -00:04:52.900 --> 00:04:55.380 -I said I would come here to turn -it off myself. - -00:04:56.100 --> 00:04:56.800 -What! - -00:04:56.800 --> 00:05:00.660 -Are you insane?! Do you know what you -just got yourself into? - -00:05:02.400 --> 00:05:03.900 -Do you know who I am! - -00:05:03.900 --> 00:05:05.700 -Do you know who my uncle is?! - -00:05:06.400 --> 00:05:07.460 -Yes. - -00:05:07.460 --> 00:05:08.600 -I do. - -00:06:26.820 --> 00:06:29.380 -Detective Cromwell. Good morning. - -00:06:30.380 --> 00:06:31.440 -Yeah. - -00:06:31.440 --> 00:06:35.000 -Something tells me there's nothing good about this morning. - -00:06:35.000 --> 00:06:36.320 -What do we got here? - -00:06:36.580 --> 00:06:39.700 -Multiple gunshots were reported coming from this warehouse. - -00:06:39.700 --> 00:06:41.860 -I was the first one to answer the call. - -00:06:42.380 --> 00:06:44.700 -Multiple gunshots, huh. - -00:06:45.660 --> 00:06:47.980 -You do know whose warehouse this is. - -00:06:48.340 --> 00:06:49.740 -Yes, sir. - -00:06:50.200 --> 00:06:52.540 -Have you gone inside yet? - -00:06:53.840 --> 00:06:56.660 -No, sir. I wanted to wait for backup. - -00:06:57.260 --> 00:06:58.560 -Well. - -00:06:58.900 --> 00:07:00.260 -It's here. - -00:07:06.720 --> 00:07:08.180 -My God. - -00:07:08.780 --> 00:07:10.940 -What a massacre. - -00:07:15.880 --> 00:07:19.800 -There's got to be a -dozen, at least a dozen dead beans here. - -00:07:21.060 --> 00:07:23.840 -I guess I don't need this anymore. - -00:07:42.240 --> 00:07:44.620 -These were all Cappuccino's beans. - -00:07:44.620 --> 00:07:45.720 -Mm-hmm. - -00:07:46.240 --> 00:07:48.820 -It must have been some kind of gang war. - -00:07:49.200 --> 00:07:52.200 -No. This is no gang war. - -00:07:52.200 --> 00:07:56.640 -Cappuccino's beans might be dumb, but they know how to use a gun. - -00:07:56.640 --> 00:07:59.920 -There would have been other dead beans -here, not just them. - -00:07:59.920 --> 00:08:02.440 -This something else. - -00:08:03.680 --> 00:08:04.960 -Well. - -00:08:04.960 --> 00:08:06.600 -One thing's for sure. - -00:08:07.120 --> 00:08:10.300 -We won't need that search warrant we were trying to get, huh. - -00:08:10.300 --> 00:08:11.360 -Heh. - -00:08:11.760 --> 00:08:13.100 -Yeah. - -00:08:13.100 --> 00:08:15.480 -I could live with this. - -00:08:17.560 --> 00:08:20.220 -Detective Cromwell. I found something here. - -00:08:35.059 --> 00:08:40.079 -'This bullet casing is the property of Killer Bean' - -00:08:41.320 --> 00:08:43.300 -Killer Bean - -00:08:45.980 --> 00:08:48.600 -'The bullet is meant for someone else' - -00:08:49.240 --> 00:08:50.140 -Hmm. - -00:08:50.980 --> 00:08:52.460 -What do you make of this? - -00:08:52.760 --> 00:08:56.280 -This guy's got balls. That's for sure. - -00:09:02.280 --> 00:09:03.460 -We got company! - -00:09:03.660 --> 00:09:05.100 -Let's go! - -00:09:07.040 --> 00:09:07.860 -Stop! - -00:09:07.860 --> 00:09:09.160 +00:16:44.103 --> 00:16:45.195 Stop right there! -00:09:12.300 --> 00:09:14.700 -This is the police! Hold it right there! +00:16:45.304 --> 00:16:47.033 +You gotta buck up here, Tuggboat. -00:09:19.840 --> 00:09:21.440 -Bad idea. +00:16:47.139 --> 00:16:49.835 +Who cares how much more talented +he may be than you? -00:09:31.580 --> 00:09:34.560 -Get out of the car! Get your hands where I -can see them! +00:16:49.942 --> 00:16:53.309 +If he cries, you cry harder, man. -00:09:37.240 --> 00:09:39.720 -Easy... Easy... +00:16:53.412 --> 00:16:55.573 +Didn't your dog have, like, leukemia +or something -00:09:42.680 --> 00:09:45.780 -Oh please, officer. Don't hurt me. +00:16:55.681 --> 00:16:57.046 +when you were a kid? +I mean, think of that. -00:09:45.780 --> 00:09:46.960 -Watch it. +00:16:57.149 --> 00:17:00.084 +Boom! End of story. +They hook up the TiVo yet? -00:09:48.240 --> 00:09:49.720 -Vagan. +00:17:00.185 --> 00:17:01.675 +- No. +- What? -00:09:54.060 --> 00:09:58.660 -I should have known I'd find you -here, Detective Cromwell. +00:17:01.787 --> 00:17:03.687 +They have digital cable, but, +I mean, it's okay. -00:09:58.660 --> 00:10:00.460 -What are you doing here, Vagan? +00:17:03.789 --> 00:17:06.019 +No, no, no. Come on, man. It's not okay. -00:10:00.460 --> 00:10:03.760 -Well, obviously something happened in my warehouse. +00:17:06.125 --> 00:17:08.252 +It is not okay, Tugg! -00:10:03.760 --> 00:10:06.980 -I mean, can't a bean protect his own property anymore? +00:17:08.360 --> 00:17:11.488 +And you don't need to explain to me +why you need TiVo -00:10:06.980 --> 00:10:10.040 -Don't you mean, Cappuccino's property? +00:17:11.597 --> 00:17:15.533 +or clean water, clean sheets, +food, shelter. -00:10:10.900 --> 00:10:14.080 -You know, your obsession with Cappuccino has become quite amusing. +00:17:15.634 --> 00:17:18.728 +I mean, I fought for that in your contract. -00:10:14.080 --> 00:10:17.600 -Always trying to link everything back to Cappuccino. +00:17:18.837 --> 00:17:20.896 +How's the adoption thing coming, +buddy? -00:10:17.600 --> 00:10:20.320 -Why don't you tell it to the court. You're -under arrest. +00:17:21.006 --> 00:17:23.031 +Not too great. -00:10:20.320 --> 00:10:21.970 -Arrest? For what? +00:17:24.410 --> 00:17:26.708 +Well, at least you get to choose yours. -00:10:21.970 --> 00:10:24.020 -A traffic violation? +00:17:26.812 --> 00:17:28.643 +I'm stuck with mine. -00:10:24.020 --> 00:10:27.160 -What about this? -Looking for some action here? +00:17:30.549 --> 00:17:33.074 +Tell you what, get back to work, +genius soldier. -00:10:28.240 --> 00:10:30.480 -If I were looking for some action, +00:17:33.185 --> 00:17:36.052 +The Pecker's on a TiVo mission +for the Y-O-U. -00:10:30.480 --> 00:10:34.340 -you wouldn't be standing before me as you do right now. +00:17:36.155 --> 00:17:37.918 +Work on those tears, my man. -00:10:34.620 --> 00:10:35.460 -Yeah? +00:17:38.023 --> 00:17:39.115 +All right. Yeah. -00:10:36.100 --> 00:10:38.900 -That's cause I'd be shooting you with this! +00:17:39.224 --> 00:17:40.782 +Say it for me one time. -00:10:50.920 --> 00:10:53.400 -Are you kids done yet? +00:17:40.893 --> 00:17:45.159 +- You make me happy. +- Make me happy. -00:10:55.360 --> 00:10:58.380 -I say we take him in and book him right now. +00:17:45.264 --> 00:17:46.856 +- I love you, buddy. +- All right, bye. -00:10:58.380 --> 00:11:02.820 -You know my lawyers will have me out even before you get me to the police station. +00:17:47.766 --> 00:17:49.757 +Crisis meeting? +What does that mean, exactly? -00:11:02.820 --> 00:11:06.700 -The time is not worth your effort, now is it Cromwell. +00:17:49.868 --> 00:17:51.529 +I mean, are we in a crisis? -00:11:09.320 --> 00:11:10.340 -Let him go. +00:17:51.637 --> 00:17:53.161 +He's the head of the studio. -00:11:10.340 --> 00:11:11.220 -What?! +00:17:53.272 --> 00:17:55.638 +He's reaching out. +We're 10,000 miles away. -00:11:11.220 --> 00:11:13.400 -I said let him go. +00:17:55.741 --> 00:17:56.833 +He just wants a little face-time. -00:11:14.780 --> 00:11:16.700 -Uh, my gun please. +00:17:56.942 --> 00:17:59.536 +I know, it's just you said +that he called it a crisis meeting. So... -00:11:18.420 --> 00:11:19.820 -Nice... +00:17:59.645 --> 00:18:02.045 +It's Les Grossman. +He throws these words around. -00:11:20.220 --> 00:11:22.580 -You know, Vagan, you're right. +00:18:02.147 --> 00:18:06.550 +"Crisis," "explosion," +"not rolling," "fired." -00:11:22.580 --> 00:11:24.380 -You're not worth my time. +00:18:06.652 --> 00:18:07.983 +These are just words. -00:11:24.380 --> 00:11:28.900 -However, investigating the multiple -homicides in your warehouse is. +00:18:08.087 --> 00:18:10.180 +Yeah! Yeah! -00:11:28.900 --> 00:11:35.100 -And whatever else we find in your warehouse, -is just icing on the cake. +00:18:10.289 --> 00:18:13.588 +Keep a secret? A camera truck +in London just plowed into Judi Dench. -00:11:35.100 --> 00:11:36.780 -You're free to go. +00:18:13.692 --> 00:18:14.818 +Trust me, he's got bigger problems. -00:11:36.780 --> 00:11:39.880 -And by the way, your car's parked illegally. +00:18:14.927 --> 00:18:17.395 +Look, he may be able to see me, +but I can't see him. -00:11:39.880 --> 00:11:43.200 -You better get it out of here before we tow it. +00:18:17.496 --> 00:18:22.024 +- Move! Move! Hello, Les! Hello! +- Get your ass out of my... -00:11:44.300 --> 00:11:46.100 -Oh, and Vagan. +00:18:22.134 --> 00:18:23.567 +- Your feet were on my desk. +- Can he see us? -00:11:46.480 --> 00:11:47.820 -Here. +00:18:23.669 --> 00:18:25.000 +I don't know why we don't have... -00:11:53.700 --> 00:11:58.300 -It looks like I'm not the only one after your boss. +00:18:25.104 --> 00:18:27.265 +Get him a Diet Coke. Les! It's working! -00:12:22.040 --> 00:12:28.820 -...possible suspects. Rumors have surfaced saying that there is a vigilante bean in town... +00:18:27.372 --> 00:18:29.863 +Yeah, whatever you're doing right there. +Hello, Les! -00:12:52.360 --> 00:12:55.740 -What the hell is going on out there?! +00:18:29.975 --> 00:18:31.374 +- Hello, Les! +- Okay. -00:12:58.780 --> 00:13:02.800 -Ah. Looks like I got someone's attention. +00:18:31.477 --> 00:18:33.536 +We got you loud and clear here, Les. -00:13:44.140 --> 00:13:46.680 -Who's this? +00:18:33.645 --> 00:18:37.342 +I see you. I see you. I see you. -00:14:07.920 --> 00:14:09.220 -Great. +00:18:37.449 --> 00:18:40.577 +Which one of you fuckfaces +is Damien Cockburn? -00:14:09.220 --> 00:14:11.760 -Playtime's over. +00:18:41.587 --> 00:18:43.111 +That's me, sir. -00:14:13.380 --> 00:14:16.040 -'Encrypted Call' +00:18:43.222 --> 00:18:46.749 +It's good to finally meet you at last, +get some face-time. -00:14:20.700 --> 00:14:22.520 -'Decoding' +00:18:46.859 --> 00:18:50.818 +And who here is the key grip? +You? You. -00:14:22.520 --> 00:14:23.880 -'Secure Connection' +00:18:52.831 --> 00:18:56.289 +Hit that director in the face, +really fucking hard. -00:14:25.700 --> 00:14:27.460 -This is Killer Bean. +00:19:03.142 --> 00:19:04.473 +Sorry, man. -00:14:27.460 --> 00:14:32.060 -Killer Bean. What the hell are you doing? You think this is a game? +00:19:10.983 --> 00:19:14.384 +This is your fault, you limey fuck! -00:14:32.060 --> 00:14:34.140 -What were you thinking last night? +00:19:14.486 --> 00:19:16.511 +You shit the money-bed, my friend. -00:14:34.140 --> 00:14:36.440 -I had a rough night last night. +00:19:16.622 --> 00:19:19.352 +Hey, Les, I understand if you're angry, -00:14:36.440 --> 00:14:41.020 -We know what kind of night you had. Might I remind you what your mission is. +00:19:19.458 --> 00:19:21.449 +but I am dealing +with a bunch of prima donnas! -00:14:41.020 --> 00:14:46.640 -You were given specific orders to hunt down and eliminate the target. No one else! +00:19:21.560 --> 00:19:25.052 +Clowns! Tugg Speedman, he can't cry! +He can't cry! -00:14:46.640 --> 00:14:52.420 -Drawing this kind of attention to yourself is dangerous for us, and especially for you. +00:19:25.164 --> 00:19:27.564 +You know how you handle an actor? +They whine about anything, -00:14:52.420 --> 00:14:55.980 -What's the big deal? I killed a bunch of -gangsters. +00:19:27.666 --> 00:19:30.965 +you pull down their pants +and you spank their ass. -00:14:55.980 --> 00:14:59.200 -I'm sure the Beantown police are a lot -happier without them. +00:19:31.069 --> 00:19:33.264 +- You spank that ass, Les. +- What? -00:14:59.200 --> 00:15:02.880 -You didn't do anyone a favor with that mess you created last night. +00:19:33.372 --> 00:19:37.138 +Spanking a child +turns him into a little snot. -00:15:02.880 --> 00:15:05.560 -And you are not working for the Beantown police. +00:19:38.010 --> 00:19:40.911 +Fear makes him a man. -00:15:05.560 --> 00:15:07.760 -You are working for us! +00:19:41.947 --> 00:19:46.543 +I know a place +where a man's worth is measured -00:15:07.760 --> 00:15:10.060 -I'll still get the job done. +00:19:46.652 --> 00:19:50.452 +in the ears hanging from his dog tags. -00:15:10.060 --> 00:15:11.560 -I'll get him. +00:19:50.556 --> 00:19:53.286 +The real deep shit. -00:15:11.560 --> 00:15:14.880 -We're running out of time. He has to know you're coming by now. +00:19:53.392 --> 00:19:55.986 +You wanna make this movie right? -00:15:14.880 --> 00:15:16.940 -Remember who he is. +00:19:56.094 --> 00:19:59.586 +That's where you take +your pansy-ass actors. -00:15:16.940 --> 00:15:19.580 -Yeah. I know what the mission is. +00:20:01.166 --> 00:20:03.031 +Who is this guy? -00:15:19.580 --> 00:15:23.680 -Then stick to it! Don't be so reckless, Killer Bean. +00:20:03.135 --> 00:20:05.035 +Les, that's Four Leaf. -00:15:23.680 --> 00:15:26.080 -I'll call you when I got him! +00:20:05.137 --> 00:20:08.436 +Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback. +I wrote the book. -00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:27.760 -Reckless! Pff! +00:20:10.642 --> 00:20:14.703 +You're a great American. +This nation owes you a huge debt. -00:15:27.760 --> 00:15:30.660 -Reckless my brown bean ass! +00:20:14.813 --> 00:20:17.782 +Now shut the fuck up +and let me do my job! -00:16:06.840 --> 00:16:07.440 -'Decoding' +00:20:18.650 --> 00:20:20.117 +- Look, Cockburn. +- Yes. -00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:08.800 -'Secure Connection' +00:20:20.219 --> 00:20:24.246 +From now on, my fist +is gonna be so far up your shithole -00:16:10.620 --> 00:16:11.920 -Yes? +00:20:24.356 --> 00:20:25.721 +that every time you have a thought, -00:16:11.920 --> 00:16:16.060 -Jet Bean, you have been activated for an urgent mission in Beantown. +00:20:25.824 --> 00:20:28.850 +it's gonna have to tiptoe +past my wedding ring. -00:16:16.060 --> 00:16:20.520 -Beantown? I'm a long way from Beantown. +00:20:28.961 --> 00:20:32.488 +Take control of your actors, +or I will shut you down. -00:16:20.520 --> 00:16:23.780 -It would be best to assign someone else. +00:20:32.598 --> 00:20:33.690 +Diet Coke! -00:16:23.780 --> 00:16:25.960 -This mission is highly sensitive. +00:20:46.278 --> 00:20:48.974 +When the herd loses its way, -00:16:25.960 --> 00:16:28.800 -You are the most capable for the job. +00:20:49.081 --> 00:20:53.518 +the shepherd must kill +the bull that leads them astray. -00:16:31.100 --> 00:16:33.000 -It figures. +00:20:55.354 --> 00:20:58.619 +- Four Leaf? +- Come on over. It's okay. -00:16:33.960 --> 00:16:35.100 -Fine. +00:21:00.292 --> 00:21:01.782 +- Sit down. +- Yes. -00:16:35.100 --> 00:16:36.480 -I'll do it. +00:21:03.195 --> 00:21:08.292 +- So, you don't like the hotel? +- Beds give me nightmares. -00:16:36.800 --> 00:16:41.280 -Good. We'll contact you with the details -as soon as you reach the shore. +00:21:13.338 --> 00:21:18.537 +I'm guessing right about now +you couldn't find a Dixie coonskin -00:16:41.280 --> 00:16:43.660 -See you in Beantown. +00:21:18.644 --> 00:21:22.978 +with an Ohio hooker holding your prick +and showing you the way. -00:16:44.980 --> 00:16:49.380 -They better have some good food in Beantown. +00:21:29.788 --> 00:21:31.119 +What? -00:16:50.340 --> 00:16:51.640 -Wait. +00:21:31.223 --> 00:21:35.159 +I put my story in your limp Brit hands, -00:16:51.640 --> 00:16:53.580 -Are you leaving? +00:21:35.260 --> 00:21:38.696 +and you are not going to fail me. -00:16:54.980 --> 00:16:56.100 -Yes. +00:21:38.797 --> 00:21:42.392 +You think I was just blowing +my own bagpipe in that meeting? -00:16:56.780 --> 00:17:00.040 -How long will you go for? +00:21:42.501 --> 00:21:46.335 +You must put those boys in the shit. -00:17:00.040 --> 00:17:02.680 -A long time. +00:21:46.438 --> 00:21:47.996 +What? I don't understand. -00:17:02.680 --> 00:17:04.320 -Oh... +00:21:48.106 --> 00:21:51.371 +- You wanna make your movie or not? +- Yes, I do. -00:17:04.920 --> 00:17:09.119 -I have something I want to give to you. +00:21:51.476 --> 00:21:54.968 +All right, you get +some of those little video type cameras. -00:17:09.119 --> 00:17:11.759 -Oh... You shouldn't have. +00:21:55.080 --> 00:21:58.709 +We take them out there, and we put +them in the trees in different angles. -00:17:12.920 --> 00:17:15.260 -Here! It's the bill! +00:21:58.817 --> 00:22:02.116 +Then you give me +and that pyromaniac Cody -00:17:15.260 --> 00:17:18.200 -You haven't paid in three months! +00:22:02.220 --> 00:22:07.089 +all the smoke bombs, charges, +explosives, detonators you got. -00:17:19.319 --> 00:17:21.339 -I'm leaving now. +00:22:07.192 --> 00:22:09.626 +Then we take those boys up there, -00:17:21.339 --> 00:17:24.839 -I will pay when I get back. +00:22:09.728 --> 00:22:12.822 +me and Cody, +we could light up that fucking jungle, -00:17:25.319 --> 00:17:28.559 -Hey! You get back here pay now! +00:22:12.931 --> 00:22:15.866 +so those lily-dick actors +would be shitting their pants -00:17:28.560 --> 00:17:29.640 -Tsingtao! +00:22:15.967 --> 00:22:17.958 +and screaming for their mammies. -00:17:29.640 --> 00:17:30.840 -Get out here! +00:22:18.070 --> 00:22:21.528 +They'd be begging for a body bag +if it means a ride home. -00:17:31.820 --> 00:17:35.120 -He say your food tastes like ass crack. +00:22:24.376 --> 00:22:25.900 +I could do it. -00:17:35.120 --> 00:17:35.960 -What?! +00:22:26.678 --> 00:22:30.114 +I could shoot the whole thing +guerrilla style. Gritty, dirty. -00:17:35.960 --> 00:17:38.360 -Make bean curd out of him! +00:22:30.215 --> 00:22:33.548 +Get them away from their helpers +and ass-licking assistants. -00:17:47.960 --> 00:17:53.160 -I said I'll pay when I get back! +00:22:33.652 --> 00:22:34.744 +Put them in the real shit. -00:17:53.820 --> 00:17:55.300 -Oh. It's okay. +00:22:34.853 --> 00:22:36.047 +- Real shit. +- With real fear in their eyes! -00:17:55.300 --> 00:17:59.320 -It's on the house. You don't have to come -back! Please! +00:22:36.154 --> 00:22:39.214 +Real fear, real emotion! +Yes, Four Leaf, yes! -00:18:08.680 --> 00:18:11.940 -Looking at the figures from our previous fiscal year. +00:22:39.324 --> 00:22:41.417 +- Yes! Yes! +- Yes! Yes! -00:18:11.940 --> 00:18:16.800 -Narcotic sales have dropped 57 percent. +00:22:41.526 --> 00:22:43.289 +Take them off the fucking grid! -00:18:16.800 --> 00:18:19.940 -57 percent! +00:23:00.746 --> 00:23:03.510 +You are no longer actors in a movie! -00:18:19.940 --> 00:18:21.840 -That's more than half! +00:23:04.616 --> 00:23:07.346 +You are five men in a helicopter! -00:18:21.840 --> 00:18:25.980 -Now, compare this to the 300 percent growth +00:23:09.121 --> 00:23:10.884 +With three other men! -00:18:25.980 --> 00:18:28.140 -from our weapons department. +00:23:16.528 --> 00:23:18.052 +How long are we gonna be gone, +anyways? -00:18:28.640 --> 00:18:30.380 -But you guys... +00:23:18.163 --> 00:23:22.224 +'Cause I left most of my vitamins +back at the hotel. -00:18:30.380 --> 00:18:35.040 -You guys are not from my weapons department, are you. +00:23:22.334 --> 00:23:24.894 +- Save your breath, maggots! +- That's right, maggots! -00:18:35.040 --> 00:18:36.440 -No... +00:23:48.059 --> 00:23:50.721 +Go, go, go! Get out of the chopper! -00:18:36.440 --> 00:18:41.460 -You guys are from my narcotics department, okay?! +00:23:52.030 --> 00:23:55.193 +Move it, maggots, move! +Move, grunts, move your ass! -00:18:41.460 --> 00:18:43.380 -So what do I have to do, huh? +00:23:55.300 --> 00:23:57.598 +Get out, you wriggly worms! -00:18:43.380 --> 00:18:46.800 -How can I get through to you guys?! +00:23:57.702 --> 00:24:00.170 +- It's up too high! +- Move, move, move! -00:18:47.460 --> 00:18:50.780 -Dude. I have such a hangover. +00:24:03.642 --> 00:24:05.371 +See you in hell! -00:18:50.780 --> 00:18:55.380 -Yeah bean, that was a kick-ass party last night, right? +00:24:16.888 --> 00:24:21.086 +This is bullshit! +I gotta at least call my fucking assistant. -00:18:55.380 --> 00:18:58.940 -Yeah. Too bad we didn't stay -for the whole thing. +00:24:22.360 --> 00:24:25.090 +Fucking! Jesus! Dude! -00:18:58.940 --> 00:19:01.940 -I bet they had some fun. +00:24:26.565 --> 00:24:28.795 +You're sitting on a nest +of hostile enemy V.C. -00:19:01.940 --> 00:19:03.640 -Woot! Woot! +00:24:28.900 --> 00:24:32.336 +Congratulations, Fats. +You just got us all killed. -00:19:05.260 --> 00:19:07.820 -You see, it's easy when you think about it. +00:24:33.338 --> 00:24:36.933 +Anybody else care to give away +our position to Charlie? -00:19:07.820 --> 00:19:11.320 -Crime is on the rise, okay. So more guns sell, +00:24:37.042 --> 00:24:38.805 +Cell phones! -00:19:11.320 --> 00:19:14.220 -because criminals use guns. +00:24:38.910 --> 00:24:40.377 +What the hell, Damien? -00:19:14.220 --> 00:19:15.880 -Hello!! +00:24:40.479 --> 00:24:44.176 +Weren't no cell phones in '69, man. +I'm head-to-toe legitimate. -00:19:15.880 --> 00:19:18.000 -They also use drugs! +00:24:44.282 --> 00:24:47.683 +Gentlemen, I've got good news +and bad news. -00:19:18.000 --> 00:19:20.640 -So more drugs should sell, right? +00:24:47.786 --> 00:24:51.278 +The studio wants to shut us down. +That's the bad news. -00:19:20.640 --> 00:19:23.140 -What's the problem here? +00:24:51.423 --> 00:24:53.721 +And the good news. -00:19:23.580 --> 00:19:25.240 -Now, you guys. +00:24:53.825 --> 00:24:56.726 +If you wanna save this movie, +you will become a unit. -00:19:25.240 --> 00:19:29.640 -Someone give me a reasonable explanation, okay? +00:24:56.828 --> 00:25:00.594 +Your objective is to head north +to the D'ang Kwook River -00:19:29.640 --> 00:19:35.580 -Why are narcotic sales performing so poorly? +00:25:00.699 --> 00:25:02.189 +and liberate the POW camp, -00:19:37.540 --> 00:19:40.780 -It's all those anti-drug commercials on TV. +00:25:02.300 --> 00:25:05.565 +at which point Four Leaf +will get himself captured, -00:19:40.780 --> 00:19:43.480 -You never see any anti-gun commercials. +00:25:05.670 --> 00:25:07.467 +at which point you will rescue him, -00:19:43.480 --> 00:19:45.300 -It's not fair. +00:25:07.572 --> 00:25:10.939 +at which point +we will chopper you home! -00:19:46.980 --> 00:19:49.680 -It has become quite apparent to me, +00:25:12.143 --> 00:25:13.235 +Damn. -00:19:49.680 --> 00:19:53.880 -that some of you do not value your job. +00:25:13.345 --> 00:25:15.142 +Four Leaf, +since you're the staff sergeant, -00:19:53.880 --> 00:19:55.060 -Now... +00:25:15.247 --> 00:25:17.647 +there's the map, this is the scene list. -00:19:55.060 --> 00:19:57.680 -That is quite odd, if you ask me. +00:25:17.749 --> 00:25:19.876 +Think you can handle it? -00:19:57.680 --> 00:20:01.260 -Especially in today's economy. +00:25:19.985 --> 00:25:24.183 +We have rigged this entire +valley of death with hidden cameras. -00:20:02.300 --> 00:20:04.560 -But I am forced to say... +00:25:25.657 --> 00:25:29.286 +And I will be shooting as well, +from unseen vantage points, -00:20:04.560 --> 00:20:06.020 -It is time... +00:25:29.394 --> 00:25:32.989 +so that every glorious moment +is captured on film. -00:20:06.020 --> 00:20:07.340 -To lay off! +00:25:34.266 --> 00:25:37.429 +And believe me, gentlemen, +it will be glorious. -00:20:07.340 --> 00:20:09.680 -A few beans!! +00:25:37.536 --> 00:25:40.061 +If it looks real, +chances are it probably is. -00:20:11.140 --> 00:20:13.140 -Ooohhh!!! +00:25:40.171 --> 00:25:41.763 +You wanted to be actors. -00:20:18.080 --> 00:20:19.240 -Uh, wait. +00:25:41.873 --> 00:25:44.467 +You wanted to occupy +the skin of another human being. -00:20:19.240 --> 00:20:20.580 -I have a question. +00:25:44.576 --> 00:25:47.568 +Well, get ready to occupy the skin +of a terrified U.S. Infantry grunt, -00:20:20.580 --> 00:20:21.740 -Yes. +00:25:47.679 --> 00:25:51.445 +surrounded by death, +crawling up Satan's bottom. -00:20:21.740 --> 00:20:25.300 -Will I be eligible for unemployment? +00:25:52.484 --> 00:25:57.183 +There'll be ambushes, enemy fire, +your own little personal slice of 'Nam. -00:20:25.300 --> 00:20:26.500 -Hmm. +00:25:57.289 --> 00:26:01.885 +This radio goes to the chopper +and the chopper only. -00:20:26.500 --> 00:20:30.520 -Let me check with the finance department on that, okay? +00:26:01.993 --> 00:26:06.396 +The chopper is God, +and I am Jesus Christ, his son. -00:20:31.380 --> 00:20:34.780 -My social security number is... +00:26:06.531 --> 00:26:09.227 +You are my chosen disciples. -00:20:34.780 --> 00:20:36.720 -3, 4, 6... +00:26:09.334 --> 00:26:12.360 +And no one gets to go home +till we get the shots. -00:20:37.940 --> 00:20:39.280 -Oh boy. +00:26:12.470 --> 00:26:15.496 +Put on your war faces, gentlemen. -00:20:39.280 --> 00:20:42.820 -Is my batting average going to go up after this. +00:26:15.607 --> 00:26:20.306 +Now, let's go and make +the greatest war movie ever! -00:20:44.080 --> 00:20:45.160 -Ahem- +00:26:20.412 --> 00:26:22.744 +- Yeah! +- All right! -00:20:45.620 --> 00:20:48.680 -Hang on, let me just finish this level. +00:26:41.499 --> 00:26:42.557 +Yeah! -00:20:51.060 --> 00:20:52.580 -Cappuccino! +00:26:48.006 --> 00:26:49.064 +Yeah! -00:20:53.960 --> 00:20:56.240 -Ah. Vagan. +00:27:01.620 --> 00:27:03.520 +Not bad, Cockburn! -00:20:56.240 --> 00:20:57.960 -I'm glad you're here. - -00:20:57.960 --> 00:21:01.340 -Maybe you can teach these beans something about business, - -00:21:01.340 --> 00:21:05.100 -since you've handled my weapons department so well. - -00:21:08.420 --> 00:21:11.420 -That bean is nothing but a kiss-ass -brown-noser. - -00:21:11.420 --> 00:21:13.760 -What does he know that we don't know? - -00:21:13.760 --> 00:21:17.060 -But he's making millions of dollars selling weapons. - -00:21:17.060 --> 00:21:18.560 -If you ask me, - -00:21:18.560 --> 00:21:20.980 -He's doing something illegal. - -00:21:21.580 --> 00:21:24.080 -Oh, it's great to see you, Vagan. - -00:21:24.080 --> 00:21:26.080 -But you'll have to excuse me. - -00:21:26.080 --> 00:21:29.060 -I'm in an important meeting right now. - -00:21:29.060 --> 00:21:33.380 -This is more important. It's about the warehouse on Baker Street. - -00:21:33.380 --> 00:21:36.280 -Oh that. It's okay. I know. - -00:21:36.280 --> 00:21:37.620 -You know? - -00:21:37.620 --> 00:21:41.440 -Yeah. My nephew was having a -party of there last night, okay? - -00:21:41.440 --> 00:21:44.120 -No, it's not about the party. - -00:21:44.120 --> 00:21:45.300 -Well. - -00:21:45.300 --> 00:21:47.220 -It is. - -00:21:47.220 --> 00:21:50.100 -There was a hit on the warehouse. - -00:21:50.100 --> 00:21:52.480 -Everyone is dead. - -00:21:53.600 --> 00:21:56.460 -Who did this. - -00:21:56.920 --> 00:22:02.740 -I have reason to believe that it was done by a bean named, Killer Bean. - -00:22:03.400 --> 00:22:05.480 -Killer Bean... - -00:22:05.980 --> 00:22:08.120 -One bean? - -00:22:08.120 --> 00:22:10.460 -This is no ordinary bean. - -00:22:10.460 --> 00:22:14.540 -I've heard of him before. I know what he can do. - -00:22:14.540 --> 00:22:16.820 -Who the hell is he? - -00:22:16.820 --> 00:22:18.460 -Who sent him? - -00:22:18.460 --> 00:22:20.260 -Is it the Colombians? - -00:22:20.260 --> 00:22:23.120 -Is it the French trying to roast me? - -00:22:23.120 --> 00:22:25.820 -It has to be one of your competitors. - -00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:27.820 -Who ever it is, - -00:22:27.820 --> 00:22:30.240 -I want you to find him. - -00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:33.780 -I want you to find him, and destroy him! - -00:22:33.780 --> 00:22:36.340 -Oh, believe me I will try. - -00:22:36.340 --> 00:22:38.520 -But first, we have Killer Bean to deal with. - -00:22:38.520 --> 00:22:42.160 -He's somewhere out there, and he's coming -after you. - -00:22:42.840 --> 00:22:44.360 -All right. - -00:22:44.360 --> 00:22:47.960 -We need to consolidate all of our warehouses. - -00:22:47.960 --> 00:22:50.740 -There's too many targets for him to attack. - -00:22:50.740 --> 00:22:54.880 -Move all our inventory to the central -warehouse on Main Street. - -00:22:54.880 --> 00:22:58.720 -I want you to protect that place. - -00:22:58.720 --> 00:23:02.340 -What about Killer Bean? What do you want me to do? - -00:23:02.340 --> 00:23:04.040 -Oh nothing. - -00:23:04.040 --> 00:23:09.220 -Just send him a box of chocolates, and tell him thanks for the memories. - -00:23:09.220 --> 00:23:10.900 -You idiot! - -00:23:10.900 --> 00:23:13.180 -What do you think you should do? - -00:23:13.180 --> 00:23:14.540 -Kill him. - -00:23:14.540 --> 00:23:17.760 -Any way you can, by any means. - -00:23:17.760 --> 00:23:20.860 -Put him in the ground! - -00:23:20.860 --> 00:23:25.040 -I'll need more beans. Professional beans. - -00:23:25.040 --> 00:23:27.760 -Put it on my credit card, okay. - -00:23:27.760 --> 00:23:29.480 -Just do it! - -00:23:29.480 --> 00:23:31.040 -Yes, sir. - -00:23:33.600 --> 00:23:34.980 -Vagan. - -00:23:36.760 --> 00:23:40.180 -Make sure you find out who sent him. - -00:23:40.180 --> 00:23:43.640 -There will be hell to pay. - -00:24:04.580 --> 00:24:05.280 -Hello. - -00:24:05.280 --> 00:24:07.540 -Hey, Harry. It's Detective Cromwell. - -00:24:07.540 --> 00:24:08.660 -Hey, Cromwell. - -00:24:08.660 --> 00:24:10.320 -Hey did you get the package I sent you? - -00:24:10.320 --> 00:24:12.980 -Yeah, it's pretty wild stuff. - -00:24:12.980 --> 00:24:15.640 -Our crime lab is getting nowhere with this. - -00:24:15.640 --> 00:24:16.920 -What do you make of it? - -00:24:16.920 --> 00:24:19.700 -Well, the easy ones the tire tread sample. - -00:24:19.700 --> 00:24:24.800 -I tested the residue you sent, and the tires are made from silicon steel fiber alloy. - -00:24:24.800 --> 00:24:30.680 -It's only used on high-performance cars. It's -not unique, but it's hard to come by. - -00:24:30.680 --> 00:24:33.660 -Hmm... What about the gold bullets? - -00:24:33.660 --> 00:24:34.960 -Now that. - -00:24:34.960 --> 00:24:39.740 -In my 15 years with Special Forces, I've never seen gold used in any weapon. - -00:24:39.740 --> 00:24:43.320 -But for practical purposes gold is a very soft metal. - -00:24:43.320 --> 00:24:46.840 -So the bullets expand and deform on high impact. - -00:24:46.840 --> 00:24:51.060 -They make little holes on the way in and big holes on the way out. - -00:24:51.060 --> 00:24:54.240 -And they are much harder to match the ballistic signatures. - -00:24:54.240 --> 00:24:57.200 -That makes them relatively untraceable. - -00:24:57.200 --> 00:25:03.360 -Yeah, that doesn't make sense if the bullet casings have his name on it. And he left those everywhere. - -00:25:03.360 --> 00:25:07.240 -Yeah. Killer Bean. Yeah, I -don't get that. - -00:25:07.240 --> 00:25:11.920 -He must be one sick bean, like he wanted -to be found out. - -00:25:11.920 --> 00:25:15.520 -Yeah, or he's bragging. Or just plain careless. - -00:25:15.520 --> 00:25:22.200 -This Killer Bean has to be working for someone to get that kind of financial backing. You think he's a gun for hire? - -00:25:22.200 --> 00:25:26.480 -Or he could be a vigilante. That's the word on the street. - -00:25:26.480 --> 00:25:31.780 -Either way, one thing's for sure. He has his eyes set on Cappuccino. - -00:25:31.780 --> 00:25:35.120 -Heh, well then you both have something in common. - -00:25:36.640 --> 00:25:39.400 -Yeah. If that's true, - -00:25:39.940 --> 00:25:44.640 -I have a hunch where this Killer Bean will show up next. - -00:25:44.640 --> 00:25:46.820 -Hey, I gotta go. See you, Harry. - -00:25:46.820 --> 00:25:47.860 -Later. - -00:25:53.060 --> 00:25:57.480 -'Suspected Cappuccino's Warehouses' - -00:26:40.300 --> 00:26:45.000 -Dramatic entrance... Dramatic entrance... - -00:27:06.420 --> 00:27:10.000 -Well, that pretty much frees up my day. - -00:28:59.420 --> 00:29:02.740 -Time for some breakfast. - -00:29:07.020 --> 00:29:11.200 -'Shadow Bean, you are too late.' - -00:29:20.360 --> 00:29:22.520 -Howdy. What will it be? - -00:29:22.520 --> 00:29:24.540 -Tequila and tonic. - -00:29:24.540 --> 00:29:27.480 -And, uh. Turn up the TV. - -00:29:29.540 --> 00:29:32.600 -Detective Cromwell, concerning possible suspects, - -00:29:32.600 --> 00:29:38.960 -rumors have surfaced that there is a vigilante bean in town, who is hunting down Cappuccino. - -00:29:38.960 --> 00:29:42.580 -There is no evidence for your vigilante theory. As far as I'm concerned, - -00:29:42.580 --> 00:29:48.020 -the suspect or suspects involved in these -homicides are no friends of the police. - -00:29:48.020 --> 00:29:52.120 -We will do what is necessary to bring them to justice. Thank you. - -00:29:53.140 --> 00:29:54.980 -I don't think so. - -00:29:54.980 --> 00:29:59.020 -I'll have another. And you can turn that crap off now. - -00:31:30.940 --> 00:31:32.460 -What can I get you? - -00:31:32.460 --> 00:31:34.920 -I'll have what he's having. - -00:31:49.440 --> 00:31:54.140 -This is a rough part of town. Do you always sit with your back to the entrance? - -00:32:00.980 --> 00:32:03.860 -Doesn't matter who comes in. - -00:32:03.860 --> 00:32:08.240 -Isn't it against police regulation to be drinking during the day? - -00:32:08.240 --> 00:32:12.340 -I'm a detective. Our regulations are a little different. - -00:32:12.340 --> 00:32:14.860 -How'd you know I was with the police? - -00:32:14.860 --> 00:32:18.520 -You know, you're much uglier in person. - -00:32:18.520 --> 00:32:19.680 -Heh. - -00:32:19.680 --> 00:32:23.240 -My name is Detective Cromwell. And you are? - -00:32:24.560 --> 00:32:26.120 -Jack. - -00:32:26.120 --> 00:32:28.340 -Well, Jack... - -00:32:28.340 --> 00:32:33.060 -I guess you heard what happened this morning over at the warehouse on Baker Street. - -00:32:33.060 --> 00:32:35.320 -Yeah, I know about that. - -00:32:35.320 --> 00:32:38.740 -Really. Tell me what you know. - -00:32:40.300 --> 00:32:42.360 -Why don't we cut to the chase. - -00:32:42.360 --> 00:32:45.060 -Why don't you tell me what you know. - -00:32:45.060 --> 00:32:47.280 -Oh, I know a lot. - -00:32:47.280 --> 00:32:50.420 -I know the Baker Street warehouse is owned by Cappuccino. - -00:32:50.420 --> 00:32:53.580 -I know someone killed 12 beans in that warehouse last night. - -00:32:53.580 --> 00:32:57.680 -I know the killer drove a fancy car, and has fancy guns. - -00:32:57.680 --> 00:33:03.280 -I know that the warehouse across the street with the big hole in the window also belongs to Cappuccino. - -00:33:03.280 --> 00:33:08.520 -I see this fancy car parked in front, and well, you don't look like you walked here. - -00:33:08.520 --> 00:33:10.340 -So my guess is... - -00:33:10.340 --> 00:33:12.960 -This, belongs to you. - -00:33:13.660 --> 00:33:16.840 -Well it looks like you figured it all out. - -00:33:16.840 --> 00:33:18.320 -Good job. - -00:33:19.040 --> 00:33:20.300 -Another! - -00:33:21.340 --> 00:33:25.740 -It was easy. You were just reckless. - -00:33:30.920 --> 00:33:34.920 -The way I see it, you're the one who's being reckless. - -00:33:34.920 --> 00:33:42.840 -You come out here looking for me by yourself. You didn't bring anyone to back you up. That's reckless. - -00:33:47.680 --> 00:33:50.460 -Here's my backup. - -00:34:04.700 --> 00:34:06.660 -That's a nice gun. - -00:34:06.660 --> 00:34:09.100 -Wanna see mine! - -00:34:17.300 --> 00:34:23.360 -How can I see it, if you have it against the side of my head? - -00:34:31.719 --> 00:34:33.239 +00:27:05.357 --> 00:27:06.551 Not bad. -00:34:33.239 --> 00:34:35.519 -But mine's bigger. +00:27:08.259 --> 00:27:09.851 +Wherever you are! -00:34:39.139 --> 00:34:41.919 -You do the math. +00:27:11.863 --> 00:27:14.923 +Wherever he is? +Looks like he's all over the place. -00:34:44.239 --> 00:34:46.739 -Why are you after Cappuccino? +00:27:16.735 --> 00:27:18.635 +Here we go. -00:34:46.739 --> 00:34:50.639 -That's for me to know, and you not to know. +00:27:18.737 --> 00:27:20.762 +Must be an old French mine. -00:34:50.639 --> 00:34:55.559 -Well, I know I can't have a crazy vigilante running around shooting up beans. +00:27:20.872 --> 00:27:24.330 +It's a remnant from colonial Indo-China. +This jungle must be full of them. -00:34:55.560 --> 00:34:58.120 -But you're no vigilante, are you. +00:27:26.411 --> 00:27:29.869 +Don't you get it? +He's messing with our heads. -00:34:58.120 --> 00:35:00.780 -Seems like there are beans who've invested in you, +00:27:29.981 --> 00:27:32.006 +That's what all that +playing God stuff was about. -00:35:00.780 --> 00:35:04.180 -And I'm sure they're not happy with the press you're getting. +00:27:32.117 --> 00:27:34.677 +He's trying to get us to act good, +save the movie. -00:35:04.180 --> 00:35:06.000 -This is where I can help you. +00:27:34.786 --> 00:27:37.812 +He ain't playing God. +He's being judged by him. -00:35:06.000 --> 00:35:08.820 -I don't need help. +00:27:41.826 --> 00:27:44.522 +That's our objective. +Complete the mission. -00:35:15.620 --> 00:35:18.980 -Well, you see. I'm bound by the law. +00:27:50.735 --> 00:27:53.636 +No offense, Kirk, +I know you're the big fancy actor here, -00:35:18.980 --> 00:35:23.220 -I've been working this Cappuccino case for over three years. +00:27:53.738 --> 00:27:57.640 +but I've done a lot more effects-driven +event films than you. Okay? -00:35:23.220 --> 00:35:30.840 -Every time we think we have something on him, his lawyers get in the way and get him out. +00:27:57.742 --> 00:27:59.141 +And I think I can spot -00:35:30.840 --> 00:35:33.020 -I wish I was like you. +00:28:01.246 --> 00:28:02.770 +a prop head when I see one. -00:35:33.020 --> 00:35:36.840 -I wish I could just walk up to him and shoot him. +00:28:02.881 --> 00:28:04.371 +Oh, Jesus. -00:35:36.840 --> 00:35:38.900 -But I can't. +00:28:05.583 --> 00:28:09.075 +It's corn syrup, guys. +Corn syrup and latex. -00:35:38.900 --> 00:35:40.180 -It's too bad. +00:28:12.290 --> 00:28:15.418 +Warm, blood-flavored corn syrup. -00:35:40.180 --> 00:35:43.020 -Because I know where is central warehouse is. +00:28:15.527 --> 00:28:16.653 +Oh, God. -00:35:43.020 --> 00:35:46.840 -Not these abandoned warehouses, like that -one out there. +00:28:17.295 --> 00:28:20.231 +Smoke and mirrors, guys. +Welcome to the movie factory. -00:35:46.840 --> 00:35:49.600 -Why don't you pay him a visit? +00:28:20.532 --> 00:28:21.726 +Oldest trick in the book. -00:35:49.600 --> 00:35:53.880 -You got the wrong bean. I'm not just some hired gun. +00:28:23.735 --> 00:28:25.032 +He getting down now. -00:35:53.880 --> 00:35:56.040 -Who says I'm hiring you? +00:28:25.136 --> 00:28:26.501 +Oh, my God! -00:35:56.040 --> 00:35:58.440 -You already have a boss, don't you? +00:28:29.307 --> 00:28:31.366 +Whoa, look at me! -00:35:58.440 --> 00:36:02.600 -I bet he doesn't really like all that attention that you're getting from the media. +00:28:31.476 --> 00:28:32.943 +You're going to get the shots, -00:36:02.600 --> 00:36:04.640 -I can make that go away. +00:28:33.044 --> 00:28:36.036 +and I'm going to make sure +because I'm the director. -00:36:04.640 --> 00:36:06.320 -I control the evidence, +00:28:36.147 --> 00:28:38.274 +I'm from London. I direct plays. -00:36:06.320 --> 00:36:11.840 -and the evidence says it could've been some rival gang that killed all of Cappuccino's beans last night, or... +00:28:38.383 --> 00:28:41.409 +Hey, Damien! We got our war faces on! -00:36:11.840 --> 00:36:13.980 -It could be you. +00:28:51.296 --> 00:28:52.991 +Look, I'm Dave Beckham. -00:36:13.980 --> 00:36:17.460 -And I have a lot of evidence that says that. +00:29:02.774 --> 00:29:05.174 +So, we gotta +light these boys up today, huh? -00:36:18.780 --> 00:36:21.380 -Are you going to take me in? +00:29:05.276 --> 00:29:07.471 +Blow some sense into these young men. -00:36:21.380 --> 00:36:24.180 -I can take you down. +00:29:08.446 --> 00:29:11.347 +Hey, I don't want to come off +as weird or anything, -00:36:24.180 --> 00:36:27.620 -Oh... I would enjoy that. +00:29:11.449 --> 00:29:15.385 +but I might be your biggest fan. Yeah. -00:36:37.100 --> 00:36:38.600 -Freeze! +00:29:16.755 --> 00:29:20.247 +Tropic Thunder. +Kind of like my Catcher in the Rye. -00:36:39.840 --> 00:36:43.300 -Get out of my bar you punks! I know how to use this! +00:29:21.493 --> 00:29:23.723 +Yeah, I've never been in the military, +per se, -00:36:43.300 --> 00:36:45.920 -Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Hold on! I'm a cop! +00:29:23.828 --> 00:29:26.262 +but I have lost an appendage +in the line of duty. -00:36:45.920 --> 00:36:47.340 -Put down your gun! +00:29:28.066 --> 00:29:30.296 +Driving Miss Daisy, first studio gig. -00:36:47.340 --> 00:36:48.800 -I don't trust any of you. - -00:36:48.800 --> 00:36:50.820 -You drop your guns, both of you! - -00:36:50.820 --> 00:36:54.080 -Sorry, grandpa. It doesn't work like that. - -00:37:15.700 --> 00:37:17.520 -Okay, okay. - -00:37:18.200 --> 00:37:20.800 -I'm going to slowly lower my gun, - -00:37:20.800 --> 00:37:23.840 -and I'm gonna go, alright? Alright? - -00:37:23.840 --> 00:37:26.460 -This will be real easy. - -00:37:38.540 --> 00:37:40.080 -See? - -00:37:40.080 --> 00:37:42.420 -This is easy. - -00:37:45.760 --> 00:37:47.520 -Killer Bean. - -00:37:47.520 --> 00:37:49.660 -Remember what I said. - -00:37:49.660 --> 00:37:51.600 -We can help each other. - -00:37:51.600 --> 00:37:54.600 -Just help yourself out the door. - -00:38:10.140 --> 00:38:13.700 -This is for the drinks. Mine and his. - -00:38:13.700 --> 00:38:17.260 -Now, you mind if I go to the bathroom before I go? - -00:38:17.260 --> 00:38:19.980 -Be quick. Your life depends on it. - -00:38:19.980 --> 00:38:22.500 -So dramatic. - -00:38:45.920 --> 00:38:49.160 -Sorry. It was a double flusher. - -00:38:53.480 --> 00:38:56.980 -But you only flushed once. - -00:39:06.260 --> 00:39:09.840 -Hey... Don't I know you from somewhere? - -00:39:09.840 --> 00:39:12.740 -Who is Shadow Bean? - -00:39:13.640 --> 00:39:16.400 -You're in way over your head. - -00:39:16.400 --> 00:39:18.680 -Who is Shadow Bean?! - -00:39:18.680 --> 00:39:21.880 -You don't have to yell. I'm right next to you. - -00:39:21.880 --> 00:39:24.900 -Answer me! Are there two of you?! - -00:39:25.900 --> 00:39:29.500 -You're not going to shoot me if you need the answers. - -00:39:32.920 --> 00:39:36.420 -Besides, I can't answer you anyway. So... - -00:39:36.420 --> 00:39:38.860 -I'll have to do this instead! - -00:39:52.100 --> 00:39:55.540 -It's a good idea for you to stay down. - -00:39:58.340 --> 00:40:00.900 -We'll settle this later. - -00:40:01.900 --> 00:40:04.780 -You're not as dumb as you look. - -00:40:20.380 --> 00:40:21.280 -Hello. - -00:40:21.280 --> 00:40:23.560 -Harry. It's Cromwell. - -00:40:23.560 --> 00:40:25.160 -My hunch was right. - -00:40:25.160 --> 00:40:28.420 -Killer Bean hit Cappuccino's warehouse on -the east side. - -00:40:28.420 --> 00:40:30.660 -In fact, he was still here when I got here. - -00:40:30.660 --> 00:40:32.640 -Whoa, how did that go? - -00:40:32.640 --> 00:40:35.120 -Not as well as I would have liked. - -00:40:35.120 --> 00:40:40.700 -Hey listen. I got some new info. I found a note in front of Cappuccino's warehouse. - -00:40:40.700 --> 00:40:44.140 -It said, Shadow Bean, you are too late. - -00:40:44.140 --> 00:40:46.700 -Does that mean anything to you? - -00:40:48.300 --> 00:40:50.700 -Harry? You still there? - -00:40:50.700 --> 00:40:54.080 -I didn't know they were still in operation. - -00:40:54.080 --> 00:40:55.140 -Who? - -00:40:55.140 --> 00:40:57.660 -The Shadow Beans. - -00:40:57.660 --> 00:41:00.080 -Harry, what's going on? - -00:41:00.080 --> 00:41:06.220 -They're highly trained operatives of an -organization called the Shadow Agency. - -00:41:06.220 --> 00:41:12.180 -Shadow Agency? What are they, a government agency? Why haven't I heard of them? - -00:41:12.180 --> 00:41:14.860 -I think they were a private organization. - -00:41:14.860 --> 00:41:19.100 -There are some things the government does that are not meant to be known. - -00:41:19.100 --> 00:41:22.720 -Their collaboration with the Shadow Agency was one of them. - -00:41:22.720 --> 00:41:25.460 -When diplomatic and military tactics failed, - -00:41:25.460 --> 00:41:30.940 -our government hired the Shadow Agency to eliminate national security threats. - -00:41:30.940 --> 00:41:36.140 -It was more cost effective than training and maintaining our own elite assassins. - -00:41:36.140 --> 00:41:40.260 -And the Shadow Beans were better than anything we had. - -00:41:40.260 --> 00:41:41.500 -Great. - -00:41:41.500 --> 00:41:43.120 -But why here? - -00:41:43.120 --> 00:41:45.620 -What are the Shadow Beans doing in Beantown? - -00:41:45.620 --> 00:41:48.700 -And what could they possibly want with Cappuccino? - -00:41:48.700 --> 00:41:53.540 -I don't know. I thought the Shadow Agency was disbanded. - -00:41:53.540 --> 00:41:57.160 -I know our government stopped using them nearly a decade ago. - -00:41:57.160 --> 00:42:00.220 -I haven't heard of them since. - -00:42:00.220 --> 00:42:03.320 -So do you think this Killer Bean is a Shadow Bean operative? - -00:42:03.320 --> 00:42:06.340 -It sounds like he's certainly good enough to be. - -00:42:06.340 --> 00:42:08.860 -What do you think I should do is stop him? - -00:42:08.860 --> 00:42:11.760 -I don't even know if you can't stop him. - -00:42:11.760 --> 00:42:16.140 -But you can start by putting all your cops on double duty. - -00:42:16.140 --> 00:42:17.920 -Right... - -00:42:27.520 --> 00:42:29.900 -This is the place. - -00:42:33.360 --> 00:42:36.220 -Dramatic entrance. - -00:42:37.540 --> 00:42:40.400 -Bean, I hate this job. - -00:42:40.400 --> 00:42:43.060 -It's so freaking boring. - -00:42:43.060 --> 00:42:45.920 -All we do we sit around and drink beer. - -00:42:45.920 --> 00:42:49.260 -Are you kidding? This is my dream job! - -00:42:49.260 --> 00:42:52.300 -Hey! We're not supposed to be just -sitting around drinking beer. - -00:42:52.300 --> 00:42:56.460 -Remember what Vagan said? He said we got to move all those crates by morning. - -00:42:56.460 --> 00:42:59.140 -If the cops find this stuff, we are screwed. - -00:42:59.140 --> 00:43:01.300 -Where are we supposed to move them? - -00:43:01.300 --> 00:43:04.740 -I don't know. I didn't really listen to -that part. - -00:43:04.740 --> 00:43:06.560 -Hey, give me another beer. - -00:43:06.560 --> 00:43:10.480 -Oh here, have mine. I shouldn't drink anymore. - -00:43:10.480 --> 00:43:12.040 -*sniff* - -00:43:12.360 --> 00:43:13.760 -*cough* - -00:43:14.020 --> 00:43:16.160 -I have a really bad cold. - -00:43:16.160 --> 00:43:18.120 -All right! - -00:43:18.120 --> 00:43:21.460 -Wait... is this a low carb beer? - -00:43:21.460 --> 00:43:23.400 -Hey, speaking of beer... - -00:43:23.400 --> 00:43:26.340 -Did you beans hear what happened at the party last night? - -00:43:26.340 --> 00:43:28.940 -Some dude went in there, and killed everyone. - -00:43:28.940 --> 00:43:31.300 -He even killed Cappuccino's nephew. - -00:43:31.300 --> 00:43:32.560 -Geez... - -00:43:32.560 --> 00:43:35.000 -Who was this bean that killed everyone? - -00:43:35.000 --> 00:43:37.060 -Is he someone I should be worried about? - -00:43:37.060 --> 00:43:41.500 -Nah. He's probably just some crazed lunatic, running around with lots of guns. - -00:43:41.500 --> 00:43:43.680 -You know, that's the problem with this country. - -00:43:43.680 --> 00:43:46.260 -Too many crazed lunatics with guns. - -00:43:46.260 --> 00:43:48.640 -Isn't that right, baby? - -00:43:49.980 --> 00:43:51.740 -The lunatics aren't the problem. - -00:43:51.740 --> 00:43:53.540 -The real problem is the guns. - -00:43:53.540 --> 00:43:56.780 -What this country needs is some serious gun control. - -00:43:56.780 --> 00:44:01.760 -I mean, we need to take away all -the guns. All of them! And just get rid of them! - -00:44:02.960 --> 00:44:05.820 -But not my gun. - -00:44:23.620 --> 00:44:24.780 -Ohhh! - -00:44:24.780 --> 00:44:26.340 -Ow! - -00:44:33.120 --> 00:44:36.300 -Bean, you dropped into the wrong place. - -00:44:56.920 --> 00:45:00.700 -Looks like what we got here is a standoff. - -00:45:02.420 --> 00:45:04.040 -Not really. - -00:45:04.040 --> 00:45:05.700 -Over there! - -00:45:17.320 --> 00:45:19.040 -Take cover! - -00:45:22.240 --> 00:45:24.820 -Call the boss! Get some help! - -00:45:30.740 --> 00:45:31.960 -Hello. - -00:45:31.960 --> 00:45:35.960 -Vagan! We're being attacked. I think it's Killer Bean! - -00:45:35.960 --> 00:45:37.820 -How do you know? - -00:45:37.820 --> 00:45:38.960 -Well... - -00:45:41.560 --> 00:45:43.720 -He's killing everyone! - -00:45:44.440 --> 00:45:48.160 -We're sending the mercenaries. Just hold tight. - -00:46:04.640 --> 00:46:07.000 -Keep firing! Don't let up! - -00:46:12.140 --> 00:46:13.320 -Grenade!! - -00:47:55.780 --> 00:47:59.240 -I can see we came to the right place. - -00:47:59.240 --> 00:48:02.560 -You made short work of these beans. - -00:48:03.840 --> 00:48:07.100 -Don't expect the same fight from us. - -00:48:07.100 --> 00:48:10.740 -My squad has been with me through hell. - -00:48:10.740 --> 00:48:15.160 -I hand selected them myself from the Academy ten years ago. - -00:48:15.160 --> 00:48:18.180 -All of them graduated with top honors. - -00:48:18.180 --> 00:48:21.380 -I led these beans through three tours of duty, - -00:48:21.380 --> 00:48:26.640 -accumulating a total of 15 Medals of Honor, 11 Purple Hearts. - -00:48:26.640 --> 00:48:30.380 -Sure, we lost a few good beans... - -00:48:30.380 --> 00:48:34.580 -But you should see what we did to the other bloke. - -00:48:45.420 --> 00:48:48.160 -Well, then we went into business for ourselves. - -00:48:48.160 --> 00:48:50.880 -Escort detail for high-level dignitaries, - -00:48:50.880 --> 00:48:55.960 -Hostage extraction, corporate assassinations, preemptive surgical strikes, - -00:48:55.960 --> 00:48:59.860 -Or just plain search and destroy. - -00:48:59.860 --> 00:49:05.040 -Heck, we even robbed a few federal banks with business with slow. - -00:49:05.040 --> 00:49:06.500 -So... - -00:49:06.500 --> 00:49:09.680 -So this little shindig we got here... - -00:49:09.680 --> 00:49:12.000 -Oh, it's nothing. - -00:49:12.000 --> 00:49:15.620 -It's just a walk in the park. - -00:49:20.060 --> 00:49:22.520 -Are you going to say something or what? - -00:49:22.520 --> 00:49:23.520 -Huh? - -00:49:23.520 --> 00:49:27.540 -Oh, I'm sorry. I must have totally zoned out on you. - -00:49:27.540 --> 00:49:31.740 -Whoa, my eyes are starting to water. Whoo! - -00:49:31.740 --> 00:49:32.840 -Sorry. - -00:49:37.720 --> 00:49:42.580 -Let's make one thing clear. Last night -was a party. - -00:49:42.580 --> 00:49:45.460 -Tonight, I get to work! - -00:51:26.280 --> 00:51:28.800 -Decaffeinated. - -00:52:31.160 --> 00:52:32.720 -Oh well. - -00:52:32.720 --> 00:52:35.340 -It was worth a try. - -00:52:36.420 --> 00:52:40.220 -This is not a good idea. We should kill him now. - -00:52:40.220 --> 00:52:42.160 -Patience, Vagan. - -00:52:42.160 --> 00:52:43.960 -I need answers. - -00:52:43.960 --> 00:52:47.260 -I need answers from him. - -00:52:54.720 --> 00:52:56.520 -He's awake. - -00:53:04.800 --> 00:53:05.880 -So. - -00:53:05.880 --> 00:53:09.600 -This is the great Killer Bean. - -00:53:09.600 --> 00:53:11.440 +00:29:31.069 --> 00:29:32.127 Yeah. -00:53:13.420 --> 00:53:15.680 -You attack my warehouses. +00:29:32.637 --> 00:29:35.435 +It's a pretty cool sidearm you got there. +What is it? -00:53:15.680 --> 00:53:18.860 -You kill my beans. +00:29:35.540 --> 00:29:37.201 +I don't know what it's called. -00:53:18.860 --> 00:53:21.660 -What do you want from me?! +00:29:38.343 --> 00:29:43.076 +I just know the sound it makes +when it takes a man's life. -00:53:21.660 --> 00:53:24.340 -My guns would be nice. +00:29:46.217 --> 00:29:47.275 +Okay. -00:53:28.660 --> 00:53:32.540 -Better enjoy a while it lasts, tough guy. +00:29:47.852 --> 00:29:49.080 +Damien, we're go for explosion. -00:53:32.540 --> 00:53:36.140 -Tough words from a bean who is helpless. +00:29:49.187 --> 00:29:51.985 +Ready to kick the tires +and light the fires on your say-so. -00:53:36.740 --> 00:53:38.040 -Ohhh... +00:29:52.090 --> 00:29:53.819 +Damien, we're go for explosion. -00:53:38.040 --> 00:53:40.300 -No, you did not! +00:29:54.959 --> 00:29:55.983 +Do you copy? -00:53:45.900 --> 00:53:48.900 -Okay. Maybe you did. +00:29:56.094 --> 00:29:58.961 +I got an itchy trigger finger here, +and I'm ready to blow some shit up. -00:53:48.900 --> 00:53:53.780 -What do you want, Killer Bean? Who are you working for? +00:29:59.063 --> 00:30:02.692 +All right, you happy now? +Can we do the scene? -00:53:53.780 --> 00:53:57.640 -What. You expect me to just blurt it all out? +00:30:02.801 --> 00:30:05.429 +Or do you need a formal invitation? +Come on, let's go! -00:53:57.640 --> 00:54:01.660 -My nephew was at the Baker Street warehouse when you attacked it, okay. +00:30:07.238 --> 00:30:08.330 +Here. Okay. -00:54:01.660 --> 00:54:05.040 -I think you owe me an explanation. +00:30:08.439 --> 00:30:10.634 +"Scene 12, exterior, +jungle clearing, day, ambush. -00:54:05.040 --> 00:54:06.720 -Your nephew? +00:30:16.181 --> 00:30:18.115 +"Four Leaf notices +movement in the brush. -00:54:06.720 --> 00:54:09.840 -Hmm... Your nephew... +00:30:18.216 --> 00:30:21.242 +"A dozen guerrilla fighters +can be seen moving in the tree line. -00:54:09.840 --> 00:54:12.140 -He was such a good boy. +00:30:21.352 --> 00:30:23.912 +"Somewhere a mine explodes." +And you. -00:54:12.140 --> 00:54:15.140 -He wanted to be a DJ as some big nightclub. +00:30:25.256 --> 00:30:27.281 +"I got a bad feeling on this one." -00:54:15.140 --> 00:54:19.780 -I told him, someday I'll buy you your own my club. +00:30:27.392 --> 00:30:28.882 +- Yeah. +- No, that's your line. -00:54:19.780 --> 00:54:22.540 -As long as you sell my drugs there. +00:30:28.993 --> 00:30:31.860 +- I got... Now? +- Yeah, but scared. Like, scared. -00:54:22.540 --> 00:54:26.080 -Eh, the profit sharing we never agreed on. +00:30:31.963 --> 00:30:34.693 +- "I got a bad feeling on this one." +- Dude, wait, like how? -00:54:26.080 --> 00:54:30.780 -But you know, he was such a sweet kid. +00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:36.630 +"I got a bad feeling on this one." -00:54:30.780 --> 00:54:33.960 -Oh yeah. Yeah remember him. +00:30:36.734 --> 00:30:38.827 +- Okay. +- Action. Go, come on. -00:54:33.960 --> 00:54:36.900 -He was the one playing the music. +00:30:47.846 --> 00:30:50.713 +I got a bad feeling +on this one there, Fats. -00:54:36.900 --> 00:54:40.320 -He always loved his music. +00:30:52.050 --> 00:30:55.451 +Our asses don't get fragged +in this bullshit valley, -00:54:40.320 --> 00:54:42.840 -Well, he's dead now. +00:30:55.553 --> 00:30:57.384 +first thing I'm doing +is paying my 2 bucks -00:54:47.020 --> 00:54:50.560 -Kill this bean. He's wasting my time. +00:30:57.488 --> 00:30:59.115 +so I can watch Brooklyn bust his cherry -00:54:50.560 --> 00:54:52.740 -It's about time. +00:30:59.224 --> 00:31:01.920 +on a sweet little mama-san's +dinky dau poontang. -00:54:54.000 --> 00:54:56.560 -How does it feel to be killed, +00:31:02.026 --> 00:31:04.927 +Shit, Brooklyn be bagged and tagged +before he get any cooch. -00:54:56.560 --> 00:54:58.540 -by your own gun? +00:31:05.029 --> 00:31:08.260 +He die, he probably die +a coochless motherfucker. -00:54:59.220 --> 00:55:01.020 -Funny... +00:31:08.366 --> 00:31:10.095 +Zip it, Motown. -00:55:01.520 --> 00:55:04.940 -I was about to ask you the same thing. +00:31:10.201 --> 00:31:11.793 +Man, I'm thirsty. -00:55:16.300 --> 00:55:20.240 -Are we done playing games for today? +00:31:12.904 --> 00:31:17.864 +Might as well have some of this +Booty Sweat I got back in Danang. -00:55:25.880 --> 00:55:27.620 -Finally... +00:31:18.743 --> 00:31:22.235 +Yo, asshole! This motherfucker's dead! -00:55:31.340 --> 00:55:32.420 -Dispatch. +00:31:22.347 --> 00:31:24.144 +Ain't no Criss Angel Mindfreak, -00:55:32.420 --> 00:55:33.980 -This is Cromwell. +00:31:24.249 --> 00:31:27.582 +David Blaine trapdoor +horseshit jumping off here! -00:55:33.980 --> 00:55:35.720 -Roger, Detective Cromwell. +00:31:27.685 --> 00:31:31.451 +Hey! You wanna get on the train here, +or do you wanna ruin another take? -00:55:35.720 --> 00:55:38.940 -I need backup. I'm at 43rd and Main Street. +00:31:31.556 --> 00:31:34.889 +There ain't no goddamn takes, +ain't no goddamn motion picture! -00:55:38.940 --> 00:55:40.380 -Right away, sir. +00:31:35.860 --> 00:31:37.623 +- You sure? +- Yeah. -00:55:40.380 --> 00:55:42.000 -There's no rush. +00:31:37.729 --> 00:31:39.526 +- Yeah? +- For certain, man. -00:55:42.000 --> 00:55:44.020 -I got time. +00:31:39.631 --> 00:31:41.531 +Then why are you still in character? -00:55:44.020 --> 00:55:46.260 -Cromwell out. +00:31:43.101 --> 00:31:45.069 +I know, but I don't have to tell you. -00:55:53.620 --> 00:55:55.020 -How dare you! +00:31:46.204 --> 00:31:47.262 +You don't know. -00:55:55.020 --> 00:55:59.460 -How dare you come onto my property, looking to kill me! +00:31:47.372 --> 00:31:50.307 +Man, I don't drop character +till I done a DVD commentary. -00:55:59.460 --> 00:56:02.040 -Who do you think you are? +00:31:53.077 --> 00:31:55.238 +You happy now? +We're out of position for the effects! -00:56:02.040 --> 00:56:04.540 -Hate to burst your bubble, Cappuccino... +00:31:55.346 --> 00:31:57.075 +Get down, fool! -00:56:04.540 --> 00:56:06.980 -but I'm not here to kill you. +00:31:58.783 --> 00:32:01.684 +Didn't anyone read the script? +This is the ambush! -00:56:06.980 --> 00:56:08.400 +00:32:03.087 --> 00:32:06.750 +- This feels pretty real! +- Exactly! Let's use it. + +00:32:17.368 --> 00:32:18.528 +Yeah! + +00:32:19.804 --> 00:32:21.169 +Yeah! + +00:32:23.775 --> 00:32:25.037 +Eat lead! + +00:32:27.011 --> 00:32:29.377 +They're busting caps +like a motherfucker down there. + +00:32:32.650 --> 00:32:34.743 +This is FUBAR. I say we juice them. + +00:32:34.852 --> 00:32:36.342 +- What do you think? +- Juice them. + +00:32:38.756 --> 00:32:41.247 +Fuck you, Charlie! + +00:32:43.328 --> 00:32:44.795 +Big-ass titties! + +00:32:50.768 --> 00:32:52.395 +Look at that, huh? + +00:32:57.675 --> 00:32:58.869 +And cut! + +00:33:01.145 --> 00:33:02.976 +That's the trailer right there. + +00:33:03.081 --> 00:33:04.378 +Yeah! + +00:33:04.482 --> 00:33:06.746 +- What do we do now? +- Yeah. + +00:33:06.851 --> 00:33:08.375 +North. Man said to head north. + +00:33:08.486 --> 00:33:11.819 +- Did you see me shooting? +- That's how we do. Good work, baby. + +00:33:11.923 --> 00:33:12.981 +I believed it. + +00:33:13.091 --> 00:33:14.251 +D'ang Kwook River. + +00:33:14.892 --> 00:33:16.291 +I'm betting +he's got more of these battles + +00:33:16.394 --> 00:33:19.124 +and Viet Congs +rigged for us along the way. + +00:33:19.230 --> 00:33:22.996 +Sergeant Osiris, get your men. +Load and lock. + +00:33:23.668 --> 00:33:25.431 +Real, baby, I'm real. + +00:33:26.504 --> 00:33:29.302 +Let's go! We got a lot of klicks to cover! + +00:33:30.441 --> 00:33:33.467 +Hump it up, gentlemen! +Single formation. + +00:33:33.578 --> 00:33:35.409 +Don't dawdle now! + +00:33:59.537 --> 00:34:03.803 +D-Rod, D-Rod, this is Puddingface. +How are we coming on that hotplate? + +00:34:06.444 --> 00:34:09.743 +Something's up. +I think we better drag ass back there. + +00:34:09.847 --> 00:34:12.543 +Make sure Damien ain't forgot +how to use his talkbox again. + +00:34:20.291 --> 00:34:23.260 +Yeah, baby, come on. Just a little taste. + +00:34:24.862 --> 00:34:26.989 +- What are you doing, Jeff? +- Fucking... Nothing, man! + +00:34:27.098 --> 00:34:30.431 +- I'm eating jellybeans. +- Wow, I love jellybeans. Can I please... + +00:34:30.535 --> 00:34:33.265 +No, you can't have +any fucking jellybeans. + +00:34:33.371 --> 00:34:34.463 +They're mine. + +00:34:34.572 --> 00:34:35.732 +You think +you're the only one who gets sick + +00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:37.535 +when he doesn't have his jellybeans? + +00:34:37.642 --> 00:34:39.041 +Boundaries, man. Fuck. + +00:34:58.963 --> 00:35:01.659 +Hey. I didn't mean to +show you up back there. + +00:35:01.766 --> 00:35:05.896 +It's just, I feel like we really need +to set the example for the other guys. + +00:35:06.003 --> 00:35:07.903 +It's gonna be tough, + +00:35:08.005 --> 00:35:11.031 +but I think Damien's gonna get +some great shit out of us. + +00:35:12.577 --> 00:35:14.306 +Just wish I had +a director like this on Jack. + +00:35:14.412 --> 00:35:16.903 +On Jack. What? Jack? +What you talking about? + +00:35:18.116 --> 00:35:20.084 +- Simple Jack. +- Oh, yeah. + +00:35:21.586 --> 00:35:24.817 +Simple Jack, yeah. +You went all out on that one, huh? + +00:35:24.922 --> 00:35:27.186 +You did. +Really swung for the fences, huh? + +00:35:27.291 --> 00:35:29.691 +Thank you. Thanks. Yeah. + +00:35:29.794 --> 00:35:32.695 +Yeah, it was an intense experience, +you know. + +00:35:33.397 --> 00:35:35.490 +I just did the work. + +00:35:35.600 --> 00:35:39.400 +Watched a lot of retarded people. +Spent time with them. Observed them. + +00:35:40.705 --> 00:35:42.866 +Watched all the retarded stuff they did. + +00:35:42.974 --> 00:35:44.737 +Then again, +I always found mere observation + +00:35:44.842 --> 00:35:47.140 +in and of itself is a tad rudimentary. + +00:35:47.245 --> 00:35:50.305 +Sometimes, we gotta dig deeper +to mine the true emotional pay dirt. + +00:35:50.414 --> 00:35:54.748 +Thus, we can diagram the source +of the pain and then live it, you know. + +00:35:54.852 --> 00:35:56.911 +Yeah, yeah, live it. Yeah, exactly. + +00:35:57.021 --> 00:35:59.751 +You know, there were times +when I was doing Jack + +00:35:59.857 --> 00:36:02.325 +that I actually felt retarded, + +00:36:02.426 --> 00:36:03.694 +- like really retarded. +- Damn. + +00:36:03.694 --> 00:36:04.319 +- Like really retarded. +- Damn. + +00:36:04.428 --> 00:36:07.659 +In a weird way, +I had to sort of just free myself up + +00:36:07.765 --> 00:36:10.734 +to believe that it was okay +to be stupid or dumb. + +00:36:10.835 --> 00:36:12.393 +- To be a moron. +- Yeah. + +00:36:12.503 --> 00:36:15.233 +- To be moronical. +- Exactly, to be a moron. + +00:36:15.339 --> 00:36:16.704 +- An imbecile. +- Yeah. + +00:36:16.807 --> 00:36:19.674 +Like the dumbest motherfucker +that ever lived. + +00:36:19.777 --> 00:36:20.937 +When I was playing the character. + +00:36:21.045 --> 00:36:23.639 +- When you was the character. +- Yeah, as Jack, definitely. + +00:36:23.748 --> 00:36:25.978 +Jack, stupid ass Jack. + +00:36:26.083 --> 00:36:27.812 +By the end of the whole thing, I was like, + +00:36:27.919 --> 00:36:32.447 +"Wait a minute, I flushed so much out, +how am I gonna jumpstart it up again?" + +00:36:32.557 --> 00:36:34.616 +- It's just like... Right? +- Yeah. + +00:36:34.725 --> 00:36:37.489 +You was farting in bathtubs +and laughing your ass off. + +00:36:37.595 --> 00:36:40.063 +Yeah. I mean, it was really quite a... +It was crazy. + +00:36:40.164 --> 00:36:43.656 +It's like working with mercury. +It's high science, man. It's an art form. + +00:36:43.768 --> 00:36:45.793 +- Yeah. +- You an artist. + +00:36:45.903 --> 00:36:47.700 +- That's what we do, right? Yeah. +- Yeah. + +00:36:47.805 --> 00:36:49.067 +Hats off for going there, + +00:36:49.173 --> 00:36:51.903 +especially knowing how +the Academy is about that shit. + +00:36:55.613 --> 00:36:59.140 +- About what? +- You're serious? You don't know? + +00:37:01.352 --> 00:37:03.377 +Everybody knows +you never go full retard. + +00:37:04.922 --> 00:37:07.015 +- What do you mean? +- Check it out. + +00:37:07.158 --> 00:37:11.254 +Dustin Hoffman, Rain Man, looked +retarded, act retarded, not retarded. + +00:37:11.362 --> 00:37:15.458 +Count toothpicks, cheat at cards. +Autistic, sure. Not retarded. + +00:37:16.334 --> 00:37:18.199 +Then you got Tom Hanks, +Forrest Gump. + +00:37:18.302 --> 00:37:20.600 +Slow, yes, retarded, maybe, +braces on his legs. + +00:37:20.705 --> 00:37:23.606 +But he charmed the pants off Nixon, +and he won a Ping-Pong competition. + +00:37:23.708 --> 00:37:24.902 +That ain't retarded. + +00:37:26.010 --> 00:37:29.002 +Peter Sellers, Being There. +Infantile, yes. Retarded, no. + +00:37:30.748 --> 00:37:32.739 +You went full retard, man. + +00:37:34.085 --> 00:37:35.450 +Never go full retard. + +00:37:36.454 --> 00:37:40.015 +You don't buy that? +Ask Sean Penn, 2001, I Am Sam. + +00:37:40.124 --> 00:37:43.423 +Remember? Went full retard? +Went home empty-handed. + +00:37:53.271 --> 00:37:56.468 +Oh, my God! Holy shit! + +00:37:57.141 --> 00:37:59.837 +Good job, turd. You killed the director. + +00:37:59.944 --> 00:38:01.206 +No, that's impossible, man. + +00:38:01.312 --> 00:38:04.179 +I rigged the whole tree line, +and this is here. + +00:38:04.315 --> 00:38:05.839 +- He must have missed his mark. +- Missed his mark? + +00:38:05.950 --> 00:38:07.178 +Yeah, this isn't me. + +00:38:07.285 --> 00:38:10.083 +Come on, let's bag and tag the bastard +and get back to the hotel. + +00:38:10.187 --> 00:38:12.883 +- You're in a world of hurt, dumbo! +- We're in a world of hurt! + +00:38:12.990 --> 00:38:15.185 +- You're in trouble. +- This isn't just on me! + +00:38:15.293 --> 00:38:17.523 +- We're in a... We're together on this. +- Bullshit. + +00:38:17.628 --> 00:38:19.095 +You're just gonna run away. +You're gonna leave. + +00:38:19.196 --> 00:38:20.857 +What happened to, +"No man left behind," okay? + +00:38:20.965 --> 00:38:23.229 +Just wait, just wait! Listen! +Listen, okay? + +00:38:23.334 --> 00:38:26.064 +- I don't wanna hear it. +- Let me just be real with you, all right? + +00:38:26.170 --> 00:38:29.469 +I almost blinded Jamie Lee Curtis +on Freaky Friday, okay? + +00:38:29.573 --> 00:38:30.904 +This shit will fucking ruin me! + +00:38:31.008 --> 00:38:32.908 +- Just get off me! You're pathetic. +- No, I'm not. + +00:38:33.010 --> 00:38:35.478 +- Get off me! +- You are not going back! + +00:38:38.849 --> 00:38:40.783 +- What the fuck? +- Now wait a minute. + +00:38:58.569 --> 00:39:00.127 +I fucking hate movies. + +00:39:02.473 --> 00:39:05.306 +This is bullshit. +I don't wanna be in this shitty movie. + +00:39:15.152 --> 00:39:17.916 +No! That's my jellybeans! No! + +00:39:18.022 --> 00:39:22.686 +Kid, grab the bat! Please! Shit! + +00:39:22.793 --> 00:39:26.058 +- Yo, man, I got a Bust-A-Nut. +- You go to hell! There he is. + +00:39:29.500 --> 00:39:32.435 +God damn it! Okay. Where'd he go? + +00:39:33.404 --> 00:39:35.702 +You little piece of shit! +I'm gonna fucking rip your wings off! + +00:39:37.808 --> 00:39:40.834 +Sanducci. Hold up, man, +keep it on the down-low. + +00:39:42.246 --> 00:39:44.476 +I don't really gotta piss. +I'm trying to talk at you, man. + +00:39:44.582 --> 00:39:46.209 +Bait, I need bait. + +00:39:47.351 --> 00:39:51.048 +You went to boot camp, right? +You can read a map? + +00:39:51.155 --> 00:39:52.383 +Yeah, I think so. + +00:39:52.490 --> 00:39:55.186 +I know Speedman +got everyone convinced we out here + +00:39:55.292 --> 00:39:59.092 +making Planet of the Apes on YouTube +or some shit, but I don't buy it. + +00:39:59.196 --> 00:40:01.664 +You wanna step on a real landmine? +You wanna die? + +00:40:02.466 --> 00:40:04.161 +You wanna get shot +by a real motherfucker? + +00:40:04.268 --> 00:40:07.431 +- Keep looking ahead, man. +- No, of course not. + +00:40:07.538 --> 00:40:11.099 +If I can put that map in your hands, +can I count you in? + +00:40:11.208 --> 00:40:14.735 +- Well, yeah, I guess you can. +- Dynamite. I'm out. + +00:40:18.416 --> 00:40:20.850 +That smelled just like bologna +for some reason. + +00:40:20.951 --> 00:40:23.476 +Is anyone gonna fucking help me +get this fucking thing? + +00:40:24.188 --> 00:40:26.748 +Why are they even out in the daytime? + +00:40:28.959 --> 00:40:33.396 +I'm gonna level with you, bro. +I don't need to pee. I need to talk to you. + +00:40:39.637 --> 00:40:43.403 +Lazarus is gonna torpedo the movie. + +00:40:45.609 --> 00:40:47.338 +He's way out on a limb +with this character, + +00:40:47.445 --> 00:40:49.276 +and I think he's getting cold feet. + +00:40:50.714 --> 00:40:54.172 +- I need you on my side, Kyle. +- It's Kevin. + +00:40:54.285 --> 00:40:56.446 +Good. Can I count on you? + +00:40:57.621 --> 00:41:01.492 +Yeah. If you want +I could give the map a look-see. + +00:41:01.559 --> 00:41:03.720 +- I'll handle the map. +- Okay. + +00:41:03.828 --> 00:41:07.059 +You stick with the program, +we get this movie in the can, + +00:41:07.164 --> 00:41:10.861 +I'm thinking there could be +a Teen Choice Award in it for you. + +00:41:10.968 --> 00:41:15.166 +You have that potential. +They'll slime you, the whole deal. + +00:41:15.272 --> 00:41:18.901 +- Yeah, that's wicked. +- Good. + +00:41:24.815 --> 00:41:26.908 +There it is! Yeah, now you're dead! + +00:41:28.085 --> 00:41:29.313 +You O.D.'d! + +00:41:30.888 --> 00:41:32.219 +Hold up now, Jeff. + +00:41:34.625 --> 00:41:36.024 +Fucking hell! + +00:41:37.661 --> 00:41:40.721 +What the hell, Jeff? That's a bat, man! + +00:41:40.831 --> 00:41:43.299 +I don't have any more jellybeans. + +00:41:49.907 --> 00:41:51.704 +You land there! + +00:42:06.624 --> 00:42:09.024 +Wow. Look at these ruins. + +00:42:11.195 --> 00:42:15.632 +- Where the hell are we? +- D'ang Kwook River. + +00:42:15.733 --> 00:42:18.099 +That so? How do you know that? +How you sure? + +00:42:18.202 --> 00:42:20.397 +Only one way to find out, dude. Let's go. + +00:42:20.504 --> 00:42:25.601 +Yeah. I'm not feeling so good right now. +Seriously, my skin hurts! + +00:42:25.709 --> 00:42:28.143 +Enough from the peanut gallery! +Into the water, ladies! + +00:42:28.245 --> 00:42:30.372 +No, man. Let me take a look at that map +right quick. + +00:42:30.481 --> 00:42:32.073 +Why is everybody +all obsessed with the map? + +00:42:32.182 --> 00:42:34.207 +'Cause we're tired +of being your trail donkeys! + +00:42:34.318 --> 00:42:36.718 +Acting like you some one-man GPS! + +00:42:36.820 --> 00:42:40.688 +God damn it! We lost! +We fucking super lost, man! + +00:42:40.791 --> 00:42:42.918 +Tell him, McClusky. +Tell him what time it is. + +00:42:43.027 --> 00:42:44.585 +I don't believe you people. + +00:42:46.330 --> 00:42:48.025 +What do you mean "you people"? + +00:42:50.701 --> 00:42:53.295 +What do you mean, "you people"? + +00:42:53.404 --> 00:42:55.395 +I think what Tugg means is... + +00:42:55.506 --> 00:42:56.871 +No, look at his eyes, man. + +00:42:56.974 --> 00:42:59.670 +...you people, you actors. You people... +- Look at them beady, white devil eyes. + +00:42:59.777 --> 00:43:01.335 +I gotta get back to the hotel, for real! + +00:43:01.445 --> 00:43:03.413 +- Hell, no! +- Silence! + +00:43:04.448 --> 00:43:07.110 +Chill! All right? Just chill it. + +00:43:08.619 --> 00:43:11.816 +Now, let's go get those Viet Congs. + +00:43:12.656 --> 00:43:14.214 +- "Viet Cong"! +- What? + +00:43:14.725 --> 00:43:17.751 +It's "Viet Cong." There's no "S." +It's already plural. + +00:43:17.861 --> 00:43:19.453 +You wouldn't say "Chineses." + +00:43:20.831 --> 00:43:23.265 +All right, that's enough +of this insubordination! + +00:43:23.367 --> 00:43:26.165 +If the machine breaks down, +we break down. + +00:43:26.270 --> 00:43:28.795 +Hey, man, you know how in Rambo I, +he was big but a little puffy + +00:43:28.906 --> 00:43:30.498 +and then Rambo II, +he got all shredded up? + +00:43:30.608 --> 00:43:33.475 +- Yeah. +- That's kind of how you look right now. + +00:43:33.577 --> 00:43:35.135 +- Yeah? +- Not Rambo I but II. + +00:43:35.245 --> 00:43:36.974 +- Really? +- Yeah, when he was cut up. + +00:43:37.081 --> 00:43:39.447 +I'm not that... I mean, +that's what I'm going for, but you know... + +00:43:39.550 --> 00:43:42.246 +Come on, dude. You more shredded +than a julienne salad, man. + +00:43:42.353 --> 00:43:43.843 +- Thanks. +- What's the secret, dude? + +00:43:43.954 --> 00:43:45.319 +- It's a diet. I'm just dieting. +- Really? + +00:43:45.422 --> 00:43:48.414 +'Cause I'm trying to come up a little, +but it's just... It's tough. + +00:43:48.525 --> 00:43:50.015 +- You look good. +- Any tips? + +00:43:50.127 --> 00:43:51.822 +- What? +- Any tips, you got? + +00:43:51.929 --> 00:43:53.055 +There's, like, the pineapple... + +00:43:53.163 --> 00:43:55.461 +- Give me that goddamn map! Fuck you! +- Hey! + +00:43:55.566 --> 00:43:57.158 +- Hey! +- All right, now! + +00:43:57.267 --> 00:43:59.701 +What it is, Sikorski? +Tell us where we really at. + +00:43:59.803 --> 00:44:01.794 +That's fucking bullshit! +It's a chump move. + +00:44:01.905 --> 00:44:03.839 +We just getting a second opinion, doc. + +00:44:05.676 --> 00:44:06.938 +We're going the wrong way! + +00:44:07.044 --> 00:44:08.136 +- Damn! +- Son of a bitch. + +00:44:08.245 --> 00:44:12.705 +God! I think we were +supposed to be doing this, + +00:44:12.816 --> 00:44:15.717 +and instead we did this. + +00:44:15.819 --> 00:44:19.448 +Shit, shit, shit, shitty shit, shit! + +00:44:19.556 --> 00:44:22.081 +Think you can get us back +to that drop zone, boy? + +00:44:23.027 --> 00:44:24.426 +This is not cool! + +00:44:27.131 --> 00:44:28.257 +Maybe. + +00:44:29.700 --> 00:44:31.190 +This is insane! + +00:44:32.469 --> 00:44:34.801 +Are you really going +to abandon this movie? + +00:44:35.606 --> 00:44:37.801 +We're supposed to be a unit! + +00:44:37.908 --> 00:44:39.432 +Suck my unit! + +00:44:40.310 --> 00:44:42.107 +All right, fine. + +00:44:42.212 --> 00:44:47.115 +- I'll finish it by myself. +- You go be all you can be, man. + +00:44:47.217 --> 00:44:49.208 +Tugg, you have no idea +where you're going! + +00:44:49.319 --> 00:44:51.116 +Yes, I do! + +00:44:51.221 --> 00:44:55.749 +I'm going to, "Exterior, rain forest, dusk. + +00:44:55.859 --> 00:45:00.319 +"Smash cut to Four Leaf, who treks +alone through a frightening jungle." + +00:45:00.431 --> 00:45:02.365 +Suck on that unit, Kirk! + +00:45:15.946 --> 00:45:18.938 +Come on, men. Let's get home. + +00:45:57.121 --> 00:46:01.785 +Hello, Mr. Mantis. You're beautiful. + +00:46:04.061 --> 00:46:05.995 +Now, if you recall that whole hullabaloo + +00:46:06.096 --> 00:46:07.825 +where Hollywood +was split into schisms, + +00:46:07.931 --> 00:46:11.332 +some studios backing Blu-ray Disc, +others backing HD DVD. + +00:46:11.435 --> 00:46:12.527 +People thought it would come down to + +00:46:12.636 --> 00:46:14.900 +pixel rate or refresh rate, +and they're pretty much the same. + +00:46:15.005 --> 00:46:18.805 +What it came down to was +a combination of gamers and porn. + +00:46:18.909 --> 00:46:20.638 +Now, whichever format porno backs + +00:46:20.744 --> 00:46:24.578 +is usually the one +that becomes the most successful. + +00:46:24.681 --> 00:46:27.673 +But, you know, Sony, +every PlayStation 3 has a Blu-ray in it. + +00:46:27.785 --> 00:46:29.514 +You talking to me this whole time? + +00:46:30.254 --> 00:46:31.551 +I was talking to whoever +was listening to me. + +00:46:31.655 --> 00:46:33.122 +Jesus Christ, man! + +00:46:51.542 --> 00:46:53.601 +Booty Sweat. + +00:46:59.650 --> 00:47:01.049 +Oh, God! + +00:47:03.287 --> 00:47:07.849 +It's cold! It's freezing. I'm fucking cold. + +00:47:07.958 --> 00:47:09.493 +You want my flak jacket? + +00:47:09.493 --> 00:47:10.152 +You want my flak jacket? + +00:47:10.260 --> 00:47:14.128 +What, are you insane? It's boiling! +It's like a sweat lodge out here! + +00:47:14.231 --> 00:47:17.064 +Keep the volume down on that bitching, +Flatch Adams. + +00:47:17.167 --> 00:47:19.067 +I gotta take a fucking 12-pound shit! + +00:47:19.169 --> 00:47:21.137 +- How we doing? We making good time? +- We're making good time, + +00:47:21.238 --> 00:47:24.366 +but there's no way we make it +over that ridge before sundown. + +00:47:24.474 --> 00:47:26.965 +All right, fellas, +we're gonna make camp, rest up! + +00:47:27.077 --> 00:47:29.375 +- Oh, God. +- Y'all might be in for a treat. + +00:47:29.479 --> 00:47:30.878 +You know, +back before the war broked out, + +00:47:30.981 --> 00:47:33.711 +I was a saucier in San Antone. + +00:47:33.817 --> 00:47:36.445 +I bet I could collar up +some of them greens. + +00:47:36.553 --> 00:47:40.853 +Yeah, noodle some crawfish +out the paddy, yo. + +00:47:40.958 --> 00:47:44.985 +And maybe some crab apples +for dessert, now, you hear? Hell, yeah! + +00:47:46.330 --> 00:47:47.592 +Hell, yeah! + +00:47:47.698 --> 00:47:51.896 +That's how we all talk. +We all talk like this, suh! Yes, suh. + +00:47:52.002 --> 00:47:57.235 +Yeah, get some crawfish and some ribs. + +00:47:57.341 --> 00:48:02.210 +You're Australian! Be Australian! +Excuse me, Kangaroo Jack. + +00:48:06.450 --> 00:48:08.850 +I get excited about my foods, man. + +00:49:34.805 --> 00:49:37.069 +Die! + +00:49:50.821 --> 00:49:52.914 +No! + +00:49:59.463 --> 00:50:03.763 +Dude, dude, what the hell +is going on here? Where are we? + +00:50:03.867 --> 00:50:06.267 +I have no idea. + +00:50:06.370 --> 00:50:08.930 +I've never been outside the States. + +00:50:09.039 --> 00:50:11.200 +Wait, what? +Are you fucking kidding me? + +00:50:11.308 --> 00:50:13.299 +Did you make this +whole goddamn thing up? + +00:50:13.410 --> 00:50:14.775 +Dude, were you +even in the fucking service? + +00:50:14.878 --> 00:50:17.540 +Yes. Of course. Coast Guard. + +00:50:17.647 --> 00:50:19.547 +- Coast Guard. +- Sanitation Department. + +00:50:19.649 --> 00:50:22.345 +Oh, my God! +You're a fucking garbage man! + +00:50:22.452 --> 00:50:26.183 +Damn it. F.L. Tayback lies to me +and the whole goddamn U.S. Of A. + +00:50:26.289 --> 00:50:28.951 +I wrote the book as a tribute! +I'm a patriot! + +00:50:29.059 --> 00:50:31.118 +Yeah, you're the Milli Vanilli +of patriots, okay? + +00:50:31.228 --> 00:50:32.923 +You lied +about fighting the Vietnam War. + +00:50:33.030 --> 00:50:36.295 +It's like punching the American flag +in the face, God damn it. + +00:50:36.400 --> 00:50:37.833 +God, and to think I believed in you! + +00:50:37.934 --> 00:50:40.300 +- I don't wanna be next to you. +- Writers lie all the time. + +00:50:40.404 --> 00:50:42.531 +Can I be tied to another post? Okay. + +00:51:04.161 --> 00:51:05.992 +- Rick? +- Tugg. + +00:51:06.096 --> 00:51:08.155 +I killed one, Rick. + +00:51:09.299 --> 00:51:11.699 +The thing I love most in the world. + +00:51:11.802 --> 00:51:13.633 +Vivica, get off the line now! + +00:51:15.939 --> 00:51:18.339 +A hooker. All right, you killed a hooker. + +00:51:18.442 --> 00:51:20.501 +Calm down. +Here's what you're gonna do. + +00:51:20.610 --> 00:51:21.770 +Get your hands on some bleach, + +00:51:21.878 --> 00:51:24.244 +some hydrogen peroxide +and a shitload of lime. + +00:51:24.347 --> 00:51:25.837 +No, a panda. + +00:51:25.949 --> 00:51:27.712 +I killed a panda. + +00:51:27.818 --> 00:51:29.615 +Amanda? Come on, dude. + +00:51:29.719 --> 00:51:31.744 +I mean, +that's probably not even her real name. + +00:51:31.855 --> 00:51:33.516 +No, a panda! + +00:51:33.623 --> 00:51:34.988 +A panda? + +00:51:35.092 --> 00:51:37.686 +A sweet, cuddly, + +00:51:37.794 --> 00:51:39.728 +vicious little panda. + +00:51:39.863 --> 00:51:42.798 +Jesus Christ, Tugg! +Man, don't scare me like that! + +00:51:42.899 --> 00:51:44.059 +It's beautiful here. + +00:51:44.167 --> 00:51:45.657 +You on the set? + +00:51:45.769 --> 00:51:47.031 +I am the set. + +00:51:47.137 --> 00:51:50.106 +All right, man. +Hey, how's the TiVo working out? + +00:51:50.207 --> 00:51:51.435 +Screw TiVo. + +00:51:51.541 --> 00:51:54.009 +I'm way beyond TiVo. + +00:51:54.111 --> 00:51:56.204 +Last I checked, +they hadn't hooked it up, though. + +00:51:56.313 --> 00:51:59.612 +Hadn't hooked it up? No TiVo? + +00:51:59.716 --> 00:52:01.547 +It doesn't matter anymore. + +00:52:04.387 --> 00:52:05.854 +I've moved on. + +00:52:06.590 --> 00:52:08.319 +Where have you moved on to? + +00:52:08.425 --> 00:52:09.585 +Another agency? + +00:52:11.361 --> 00:52:12.589 +Hey, who is with you? + +00:52:12.696 --> 00:52:16.792 +You are still my client, Tugg Speedman! +I am getting the TiVo! + +00:52:16.900 --> 00:52:19.095 +Jacket's on, I'm out the door! + +00:52:19.202 --> 00:52:20.260 +Tugg? + +00:52:22.873 --> 00:52:23.862 +Please don't fire me. + +00:52:27.408 --> 00:52:30.309 +Oh, mama. Thirsty. + +00:52:30.444 --> 00:52:32.503 +He doesn't look too good. + +00:52:32.613 --> 00:52:37.641 +Must drink, +so I can throw something up! + +00:52:37.751 --> 00:52:39.878 +No, no. Don't drink that water! +That water's like a petri dish! + +00:52:39.987 --> 00:52:41.079 +No, don't! + +00:52:41.188 --> 00:52:43.713 +Alpa, do you have any Booty Sweat? + +00:52:43.824 --> 00:52:46.190 +Yeah, get him chugging on +some of Alpa's ass water. + +00:52:46.293 --> 00:52:48.227 +That'll bring him around. It's a cure-all. + +00:52:48.329 --> 00:52:50.229 +Man, what you coming out +in movies for anyway? + +00:52:50.331 --> 00:52:51.992 +Did you need another revenue stream? + +00:52:52.099 --> 00:52:54.897 +For your information, +my revenue stream + +00:52:55.002 --> 00:52:57.334 +currently generates $2 million a year + +00:52:57.438 --> 00:52:59.372 +in charitable contributions +for my community. + +00:52:59.473 --> 00:53:01.805 +- Hot damn. +- And why am I in this movie? + +00:53:01.909 --> 00:53:04.241 +Maybe I just knew I had to represent, + +00:53:04.345 --> 00:53:06.142 +because they had one good part +in it for a black man + +00:53:06.246 --> 00:53:08.305 +and they gave it to Crocodile Dundee. + +00:53:09.917 --> 00:53:13.478 +Pump your brakes, kid. +That man is a national treasure. + +00:53:13.587 --> 00:53:15.714 +I just wanted to throw another shrimp +on your barbie. + +00:53:15.823 --> 00:53:16.949 +That shit ain't funny. + +00:53:17.057 --> 00:53:19.753 +Hey, fellas! It's hot! +We're tired! It stinks! + +00:53:19.860 --> 00:53:21.418 +I'm just fucking with you, +Kangaroo Jack! + +00:53:21.528 --> 00:53:23.257 +I'm sorry a dingo ate your baby. + +00:53:23.364 --> 00:53:25.832 +You know that's a true story? +Lady lost her kid. + +00:53:25.933 --> 00:53:28.595 +- You about to cross some fucking lines. +- Guys, relax and stuff. + +00:53:28.702 --> 00:53:29.760 +You know what? Fuck that, man! + +00:53:29.870 --> 00:53:32.532 +I'm sick of this koala-hugging nigger +telling me... + +00:53:37.277 --> 00:53:38.835 +For 400 years, + +00:53:39.880 --> 00:53:42.781 +that word has kept us down. + +00:53:43.851 --> 00:53:45.478 +What the fuck? + +00:53:45.586 --> 00:53:49.352 +It took a whole lot of trying +just to get up that hill. + +00:53:49.456 --> 00:53:52.357 +Now we up in the big leagues, + +00:53:52.459 --> 00:53:54.222 +getting our turn at bat. + +00:53:54.328 --> 00:53:56.990 +Long as we live, it's you and me, baby. + +00:53:57.665 --> 00:54:00.998 +That's the theme song for +The Jeffersons. You really need help. + +00:54:01.101 --> 00:54:04.229 +Yeah. Just 'cause it's the theme song, +don't make it not true. + +00:54:04.338 --> 00:54:06.272 +You know what? +I'm gonna tell you what's true. + +00:54:06.373 --> 00:54:09.809 +I'm gonna tag you back. +You better believe that, baby. + +00:54:09.910 --> 00:54:12.504 +Guys! Hey, guys! + +00:54:13.113 --> 00:54:15.581 +Jeff, stay away from that animal. + +00:54:17.951 --> 00:54:20.784 +I'm gonna bite his hide. I need... + +00:54:21.822 --> 00:54:25.087 +I need to wear his stomach skin +like a unitard. + +00:54:26.060 --> 00:54:29.359 +Ain't nobody doing nothing +to no one or body! + +00:54:29.463 --> 00:54:34.332 +Now, if Mr. Portnoy is feeling +a little flu-ish, don't wanna walk, + +00:54:34.435 --> 00:54:36.494 +put him up on that cloven-hoof animal! + +00:54:37.871 --> 00:54:39.168 +We got ground to cover! + +00:55:08.168 --> 00:55:11.433 +All right, POW camp, scene 67. + +00:55:12.339 --> 00:55:14.068 +Bring it on, Cockburn! + +00:55:21.181 --> 00:55:24.981 +My body may be shackled, +but my mind wanders free. + +00:55:29.757 --> 00:55:30.917 +Wait, wait, wait, +let me do the line again. + +00:55:31.024 --> 00:55:32.116 +Let me do the line again. + +00:55:32.226 --> 00:55:36.322 +My body may be shackled, +but my mind wanders free. + +00:55:43.537 --> 00:55:44.868 +Good, again. Again. + +00:55:50.677 --> 00:55:53.237 +Good, good. +Now let's do the torture scene. + +00:55:53.347 --> 00:55:55.144 +I see moss on both sides of that tree. + +00:55:55.249 --> 00:55:58.377 +Well, you know, maybe if I wasn't +the only one at boot camp... + +00:55:58.485 --> 00:56:00.385 +My belly really hurts, you guys! + +00:56:00.487 --> 00:56:02.682 +I'm not joking around, I'm nauseous. + +00:56:02.790 --> 00:56:05.020 +Let me off, I gotta puke! +I don't wanna die like Hendrix! + +00:56:05.125 --> 00:56:06.786 +All right. All right. + +00:56:11.365 --> 00:56:13.356 +Are you okay, Jeff? + +00:56:13.467 --> 00:56:14.832 +I'm awesome. + +00:56:17.237 --> 00:56:18.704 +Holy shit! + +00:56:23.243 --> 00:56:25.404 +Okay. Everyone, down, down, down. + +00:56:30.117 --> 00:56:31.607 +Man. Now I'm tripping. + +00:56:31.718 --> 00:56:34.346 +That looks like the POW camp +from out the script, yo. + +00:56:35.222 --> 00:56:36.917 +Speedman was right? + +00:56:37.024 --> 00:56:38.389 +I don't think so. + +00:56:38.492 --> 00:56:40.722 +Look at the cooking vats, +the armed guards. + +00:56:42.296 --> 00:56:44.389 +Looks like a heroin processing plant. + +00:56:45.499 --> 00:56:46.625 +We were in that chopper for hours. + +00:56:46.733 --> 00:56:48.997 +I don't even think +we're in Vietnam anymore. + +00:56:49.102 --> 00:56:51.536 +- Fuck. +- Shit. We ain't even in 'Nam? + +00:56:51.638 --> 00:56:54.402 +No, most likely Myanmar or Laos. + +00:56:54.508 --> 00:56:56.066 +What the fuck is Laos? + +00:56:56.176 --> 00:56:57.973 +It's the Golden Triangle. + +00:56:58.078 --> 00:56:59.636 +The world's hard drug superhighway. + +00:56:59.746 --> 00:57:01.043 +And how do you know about that? + +00:57:01.148 --> 00:57:03.878 +It was a really long trip. +I read the in-flight magazine. + +00:57:05.686 --> 00:57:06.983 +Cut! + +00:57:07.087 --> 00:57:08.554 +Oh, Jesus! + +00:57:08.655 --> 00:57:11.146 +What do you see, man? I'm blocked. + +00:57:11.258 --> 00:57:12.623 +Damien, cut! + +00:57:14.394 --> 00:57:15.986 +Hey, Damien, cut! + +00:57:16.830 --> 00:57:18.491 +They got Speedman. + +00:57:19.066 --> 00:57:20.499 +And it doesn't look good. + +00:57:53.166 --> 00:57:54.463 +I am Tran. + +00:57:55.435 --> 00:57:57.596 +You are a trespasser +in my poppy fields. + +00:57:59.006 --> 00:58:01.634 +You are D.E.A. Scum! + +00:58:03.577 --> 00:58:07.013 +Were there some re-writes +that I missed? + +00:58:13.320 --> 00:58:14.810 +Do you want to die? + +00:58:15.589 --> 00:58:17.056 +- Do you? +- No! + +00:58:17.157 --> 00:58:21.287 +Please, don't hurt me! + +00:58:29.169 --> 00:58:30.363 +Say that again. + +00:58:31.371 --> 00:58:33.168 +Please, don't hurt me. + +00:58:33.273 --> 00:58:36.367 +No! Like you did before! Say it! + +00:58:37.344 --> 00:58:38.333 +Say it! + +00:58:38.445 --> 00:58:42.438 +Please, don't hurt me! + +00:58:58.065 --> 00:59:00.659 +- What? +- You are Simple Jack. + +00:59:03.637 --> 00:59:05.502 +You saw Simple Jack? + +00:59:05.605 --> 00:59:07.937 +We love the tale of this man, +Simple Jack. + +00:59:09.643 --> 00:59:11.474 +We do not have many luxury here. + +00:59:11.578 --> 00:59:14.012 +And Simple Jack is the only movie +we possess. + +00:59:14.114 --> 00:59:17.948 +You got the VHS. + +00:59:18.051 --> 00:59:20.110 +We've watched it many, many times. + +00:59:20.220 --> 00:59:22.688 +You should've got Oscar. + +00:59:25.726 --> 00:59:27.489 +Well, you know. It's... + +00:59:28.762 --> 00:59:30.024 +Just to be nominated... + +00:59:30.130 --> 00:59:31.358 +You were nominated? + +00:59:31.465 --> 00:59:32.989 +No, no, no. I wasn't nominated. + +00:59:33.100 --> 00:59:36.263 +I'm just saying that to have been +nominated would have been nice. + +00:59:36.370 --> 00:59:38.736 +It's just... It's very political. +You have to take out ads... + +00:59:38.839 --> 00:59:41.330 +- Shut up now! +- Okay. Okay. + +00:59:42.175 --> 00:59:43.904 +So, are you going to + +00:59:45.545 --> 00:59:47.172 +let me go, or... + +00:59:47.280 --> 00:59:49.407 +No. We'll hold you for ransom. + +00:59:49.516 --> 00:59:51.313 +Much more money now! + +01:00:02.896 --> 01:00:03.885 +He's in a meeting. + +01:00:03.997 --> 01:00:06.761 +Yeah, I know. +In about two seconds with the Pecker. + +01:00:07.801 --> 01:00:09.666 +I'm gonna rip your fucking tits off. + +01:00:09.770 --> 01:00:12.432 +You wanna talk about trouble? +That's trouble. + +01:00:12.539 --> 01:00:14.097 +Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. + +01:00:16.009 --> 01:00:17.909 +What do you need, Peck? + +01:00:18.011 --> 01:00:20.639 +No, more like what do you need, Les? + +01:00:20.747 --> 01:00:21.941 +Glasses? + +01:00:23.016 --> 01:00:24.074 What? -00:56:08.400 --> 00:56:11.700 -I'm here to kill him. +01:00:24.184 --> 01:00:26.675 +So you can read +the Tropic Thunder contract -00:56:12.900 --> 00:56:15.440 -You just got in my way. +01:00:26.787 --> 01:00:29.187 +that guarantees my client, +Tugg Speedman, -00:56:15.440 --> 00:56:17.520 -I don't understand. +01:00:29.289 --> 01:00:33.020 +some form of digital video recorder +on location. -00:56:17.520 --> 00:56:19.220 -You want to kill him? +01:00:33.794 --> 01:00:35.921 +- Huh? +- I can't believe you let him in. -00:56:19.220 --> 00:56:20.780 -Not me? +01:00:37.564 --> 01:00:40.397 +Look, fuckstick, I'm incredibly busy, +so why don't you get the hell out of here -00:56:20.780 --> 00:56:22.960 -What the hell is going on? +01:00:40.500 --> 01:00:43.560 +before I snap your dick off +and jam it into your ass? -00:56:22.960 --> 00:56:25.120 -Just shoot him already. +01:00:43.670 --> 01:00:45.695 +No, not you, Helen. -00:56:25.120 --> 00:56:27.160 -It's complicated. +01:00:45.806 --> 01:00:49.503 +But I will rip your tits off +if you don't get me those theaters. -00:56:27.160 --> 00:56:29.360 -Why don't you just beat it. +01:00:49.609 --> 01:00:51.133 +Perfect. -00:56:29.360 --> 00:56:33.780 -No. I'm quite interested to knowing why. +01:00:51.244 --> 01:00:53.678 +Hey, Tuggernuts, +I've got you on speakerphone. -00:56:33.780 --> 00:56:36.380 -Fine. You wanna die to? +01:00:53.780 --> 01:00:55.645 +I'm standing here with Les Grossman, -00:56:36.380 --> 00:56:39.800 -Believe me, it's no trouble at all. +01:00:55.749 --> 01:00:58.912 +and he is dying to tell you +why he's apparently wiped his ass -00:56:40.720 --> 00:56:42.640 -Actually, uh... +01:00:59.019 --> 01:01:01.317 +with the TiVo clause from your contract. -00:56:42.640 --> 00:56:46.720 -I think that my estimated taxes are due soon. +01:01:02.522 --> 01:01:04.513 +We are Flaming Dragon. -00:56:46.720 --> 00:56:49.560 -I like to stay on top of that stuff. +01:01:04.624 --> 01:01:06.990 +Speedman is with us now. -00:56:49.560 --> 00:56:51.580 -Good idea. +01:01:07.094 --> 01:01:10.655 +For 50 million, you will get him back. -00:56:52.460 --> 00:56:53.440 -Oh. +01:01:10.764 --> 01:01:12.925 +- Are you gonna get those... +- Who is this? -00:56:53.440 --> 00:56:54.520 -By the way. +01:01:13.033 --> 01:01:15.729 +- And how did you get this phone? +- We are Flaming Dragon! -00:56:54.520 --> 00:56:56.060 -Vagan? +01:01:15.836 --> 01:01:17.736 +Simple Jack belong to us now. -00:56:56.060 --> 00:56:57.780 -You're fired!! +01:01:20.474 --> 01:01:22.499 +He does, does he? -00:57:12.400 --> 00:57:16.800 -It's about time they sent someone with -some talent after me. +01:01:22.609 --> 01:01:25.077 +Let me tell you something, shitbird. -00:57:16.800 --> 00:57:20.460 -Nothing but the best for you, Dark Bean. +01:01:25.178 --> 01:01:27.612 +I've never even heard +of your little agency. -00:57:20.460 --> 00:57:25.320 -Yeah. I guess they finally learned it's gonna take the best. +01:01:27.714 --> 01:01:29.682 +But if you think +you can poach my client... -00:57:25.320 --> 00:57:28.200 -What the hell is going on? +01:01:29.783 --> 01:01:34.311 +Send $50 million, or you no see +Simple Jack again because we kill him. -00:57:30.800 --> 00:57:33.920 -You were one of the Shadow Agency's top beans. +01:01:34.421 --> 01:01:35.911 +This is Les Grossman. Who is this? -00:57:33.920 --> 00:57:35.720 -I used to look up to you. +01:01:36.022 --> 01:01:38.320 +This is Flaming Dragon! -00:57:35.720 --> 00:57:37.780 -Now I have to kill you. +01:01:38.425 --> 01:01:41.189 +Okay. Flaming Dragon. Fuckface. -00:57:37.780 --> 00:57:40.120 -Why did you betray us, Dark Bean? +01:01:41.294 --> 01:01:46.129 +First, take a big step back +and literally fuck your own face! -00:57:40.120 --> 00:57:42.440 -I didn't betray anyone. +01:01:47.501 --> 01:01:50.231 +Now, I don't know what kind of +pan-Pacific bullshit power play -00:57:42.440 --> 00:57:45.100 -The Shadow Agency betrayed me. +01:01:50.337 --> 01:01:52.805 +you're trying to pull here, +but Asia, Jack, is my territory. -00:57:45.100 --> 00:57:46.360 +01:01:52.906 --> 01:01:54.203 +So whatever you're thinking, +you better think again. + +01:01:54.307 --> 01:01:55.672 +Otherwise, I'm gonna +have to head down there, + +01:01:55.775 --> 01:01:59.142 +and I will rain down an ungodly +fucking firestorm upon you. + +01:01:59.246 --> 01:02:00.873 +You're gonna have to call +the fucking United Nations + +01:02:00.981 --> 01:02:05.008 +and get a fucking binding resolution +to keep me from fucking destroying you. + +01:02:05.118 --> 01:02:07.712 +I am talking scorched earth, +motherfucker! + +01:02:07.821 --> 01:02:09.584 +I will massacre you! + +01:02:09.689 --> 01:02:11.623 +I will fuck you up! + +01:02:19.432 --> 01:02:21.161 +- Could you find out who that was? Go. +- Yeah. Yeah. + +01:02:56.603 --> 01:02:59.595 +You wear these. +More like Simple Jack teeth. + +01:02:59.706 --> 01:03:01.435 +Okay. + +01:03:01.541 --> 01:03:04.203 +Hey. Look, I know you're a big fan, +and that's great... + +01:03:07.280 --> 01:03:08.907 +Put teeth in! + +01:03:16.022 --> 01:03:17.887 +Now do movie. + +01:03:17.991 --> 01:03:19.652 +The whole movie? + +01:03:19.759 --> 01:03:21.420 +I can't. I don't know the whole... + +01:03:21.528 --> 01:03:24.019 +You perform! You perform or die! + +01:03:24.764 --> 01:03:26.254 +Monkey swine! + +01:03:29.169 --> 01:03:30.568 +Pa. + +01:03:32.539 --> 01:03:33.904 +More stupid! + +01:03:35.675 --> 01:03:40.738 +Pa, why you gotta make me feel bad? + +01:03:43.183 --> 01:03:44.514 +You saw what I saw. + +01:03:44.618 --> 01:03:47.212 +Tugg Speedman is dead meat +if we don't do something soon. + +01:03:47.320 --> 01:03:49.686 +Yeah. We could do something +by getting our asses back to the hotel, + +01:03:49.789 --> 01:03:51.120 +which is in the other direction! + +01:03:51.224 --> 01:03:52.816 +Ain't right. + +01:03:52.926 --> 01:03:54.951 +What would've happened +in The Great Escape + +01:03:55.061 --> 01:03:58.895 +if Steve McQueen and them dudes +had turned tail and ran? + +01:03:58.999 --> 01:04:02.992 +Well, that's what that movie was about. +They were escaping. They ran away. + +01:04:03.103 --> 01:04:05.731 +I'm trying to agree with you. +The point is they did something. + +01:04:05.839 --> 01:04:07.033 +Then what are we supposed to do, huh? + +01:04:07.140 --> 01:04:11.042 +'Cause he's cleaning a gun +with no bullets. Yeah, that's a plan. + +01:04:11.144 --> 01:04:14.944 +I'm just like a little boy, +playing with his dick when he's nervous. + +01:04:18.485 --> 01:04:20.976 +Wait a minute. Wait a minute. +Wait a minute. + +01:04:21.087 --> 01:04:24.147 +I got an idea. +This might be a little crazy. + +01:04:24.257 --> 01:04:26.225 +Crazy's better than nothing. + +01:04:26.326 --> 01:04:30.285 +Back in '98, I did a low-budget +titty comedy for Skinemax. + +01:04:30.397 --> 01:04:33.730 +- Sex Camp. Remember it? +- Yeah. + +01:04:33.833 --> 01:04:37.792 +Anyway, me and the campers +from the uncool camp + +01:04:37.904 --> 01:04:40.429 +had to break into the rich girl camp. + +01:04:40.540 --> 01:04:42.235 +So, what we did, + +01:04:42.342 --> 01:04:45.334 +we built a catapult +out of logs and underwear, + +01:04:45.445 --> 01:04:49.006 +and they shot us over the wall, +and we parachuted down. + +01:04:54.621 --> 01:04:55.986 +Look, + +01:04:56.089 --> 01:04:59.388 +- you guys, we already know the plan. +- Fine. + +01:04:59.492 --> 01:05:03.861 +We do it just like in the book, +Chapter 26, the Wet Offensive. + +01:05:03.963 --> 01:05:06.363 +The book of Tropic Thunder. + +01:05:06.466 --> 01:05:08.696 +Yeah, did you guys read the book? + +01:05:10.003 --> 01:05:12.631 +The flap, I read the back flap +and saw the pictures. + +01:05:13.406 --> 01:05:16.534 +Well, it's okay. +It's exactly the same as in the script. + +01:05:16.643 --> 01:05:17.701 +Cool. + +01:05:19.679 --> 01:05:22.239 +You guys all read the script, right? + +01:05:22.349 --> 01:05:24.442 +I don't read the script, script reads me. + +01:05:25.618 --> 01:05:27.085 +What the hell does that even mean? + +01:05:27.187 --> 01:05:30.554 +What you getting at with the books, +scripts? Spit that shit out, man! + +01:05:33.893 --> 01:05:35.724 +All right. The Wet Offensive. + +01:05:36.763 --> 01:05:39.664 +Osiris and Fats go undercover +as a diversion. + +01:05:39.766 --> 01:05:42.098 +Motown and Brooklyn sneak in +via the river. + +01:05:42.202 --> 01:05:44.602 +Yeah. But those dudes +was trained soldiers. + +01:05:46.473 --> 01:05:47.531 +Yeah! + +01:05:48.608 --> 01:05:51.600 +And we trained actors, motherfucker. + +01:05:51.711 --> 01:05:56.045 +Time to man up. +And I ain't gonna sugarcoat. + +01:05:56.149 --> 01:05:58.913 +Some of us +might not even make it back. + +01:05:59.018 --> 01:06:02.112 +What do you mean? +Like not on the same flight? + +01:06:04.824 --> 01:06:07.588 +Alpa and I's already wearing +earth mama's natural night camo. + +01:06:07.694 --> 01:06:09.525 +- Cool it, Benson. +- Sorry. + +01:06:10.597 --> 01:06:15.125 +We gonna scout, get a plan together. +We ain't back in 20, come looking. + +01:06:16.636 --> 01:06:18.501 +We are Flaming Dragon. + +01:06:22.242 --> 01:06:23.436 +Okay. + +01:06:24.744 --> 01:06:27.838 +Flaming Dragon's +a heroin manufacturer. + +01:06:27.947 --> 01:06:31.041 +They're responsible +for an eighth of the drug trade in Asia. + +01:06:31.151 --> 01:06:34.382 +- Huge profit margin. +- Guys! + +01:06:34.487 --> 01:06:37.422 +Would somebody please let me know +what the game plan is? + +01:06:37.524 --> 01:06:39.253 +Peck! We have it handled. + +01:06:39.359 --> 01:06:41.850 +Please, don't interrupt. +Everything's under control. + +01:06:41.961 --> 01:06:43.952 +I got it. Got it. + +01:06:56.075 --> 01:06:58.305 +- Les Grossman. +- We not get money yet. + +01:06:58.845 --> 01:07:00.972 +Price now 100 million! + +01:07:01.080 --> 01:07:03.913 +You pay now, +or tomorrow Simple Jack die. + +01:07:04.017 --> 01:07:07.077 +Great. Let me get this down. + +01:07:07.187 --> 01:07:08.620 +100 million. + +01:07:08.721 --> 01:07:11.189 +Wait! I got a better idea. + +01:07:11.991 --> 01:07:13.822 +Instead of 100 million, + +01:07:13.927 --> 01:07:16.663 +how about I send you +a hobo's dick cheese? + +01:07:16.896 --> 01:07:19.194 +Then you kill him! Do your thing! +Skin the fucking bastard! + +01:07:19.299 --> 01:07:21.494 +Go to town, man! Go to town! + +01:07:21.601 --> 01:07:23.762 +- No... +- In the meantime, and as usual, + +01:07:23.870 --> 01:07:25.531 +go fuck yourself! + +01:07:26.639 --> 01:07:29.199 +- No. +- We don't negotiate with terrorists. + +01:07:31.311 --> 01:07:34.041 +Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! +Hey, hey, are you insane? + +01:07:34.147 --> 01:07:35.978 +- I think I could've done that better. +- I thought it was good. + +01:07:36.082 --> 01:07:37.379 +They're gonna kill him! + +01:07:43.256 --> 01:07:46.453 +And we'll weep for him, in the press. + +01:07:47.360 --> 01:07:50.022 +Set up a scholarship in his name. + +01:07:50.129 --> 01:07:54.065 +Eventually, and I'm talking way, +way down the road, + +01:07:54.167 --> 01:07:55.657 +we file an insurance claim. + +01:07:55.768 --> 01:07:58.566 +Preferably before +the end of the fiscal year. + +01:07:58.671 --> 01:08:02.402 +Actually, the claim alone would net us +more than the movie would lose. + +01:08:04.511 --> 01:08:06.274 +You can't be serious. + +01:08:08.214 --> 01:08:09.909 +Let's face it. + +01:08:10.016 --> 01:08:14.043 +The kids aren't dressing up as Scorcher +for Purim anymore. + +01:08:15.455 --> 01:08:18.447 +Speedman is a dying star, + +01:08:18.558 --> 01:08:21.789 +a white dwarf heading for a black hole. + +01:08:21.895 --> 01:08:24.625 +That's physics. It's inevitable. + +01:08:24.731 --> 01:08:28.064 +We've been handed +an incredible opportunity here, Peck. + +01:08:28.167 --> 01:08:32.001 +The universe is talking to us right now. + +01:08:32.105 --> 01:08:33.663 +You just gotta listen. + +01:08:46.786 --> 01:08:50.381 +See, this is the good part, Pecker. +This is when the job gets fun. + +01:08:50.490 --> 01:08:51.582 +Yeah. + +01:08:51.691 --> 01:08:54.854 +Ask and you shall receive. + +01:08:55.895 --> 01:09:00.025 +- All right. +- You play ball, we play ball. + +01:09:00.133 --> 01:09:03.500 +I know you want the goodies. + +01:09:03.603 --> 01:09:05.594 +Welcome to the goody room. + +01:09:05.705 --> 01:09:10.335 +You paying attention? +'Cause I'm talking G5 for the Pecker. + +01:09:10.443 --> 01:09:11.705 +That's how you're gonna roll. + +01:09:11.811 --> 01:09:15.770 +No more frequent flier +bitch miles for my boy. + +01:09:15.882 --> 01:09:17.179 +Yeah! + +01:09:17.684 --> 01:09:18.946 +Playa. + +01:09:19.819 --> 01:09:21.150 +Playa! + +01:09:22.188 --> 01:09:23.485 +Big dick playa. + +01:09:23.590 --> 01:09:25.581 +Swinging past your knees! + +01:09:25.692 --> 01:09:26.716 +Big dick, baby. + +01:09:26.826 --> 01:09:28.020 +Yep. + +01:09:31.364 --> 01:09:33.958 +Or you can grow a conscience + +01:09:34.067 --> 01:09:36.433 +in the next five minutes +and see where that takes you. + +01:09:41.407 --> 01:09:43.500 +Let me get this straight. + +01:09:43.610 --> 01:09:47.239 +You want me +to let my client of 15 years, + +01:09:47.347 --> 01:09:48.712 +one of my best friends, + +01:09:48.815 --> 01:09:53.445 +die in the jungle, alone, +for some money and a G5? + +01:09:54.587 --> 01:09:55.713 +Yes. + +01:10:00.793 --> 01:10:03.057 +A G5 airplane? + +01:10:05.164 --> 01:10:06.222 +Yes. + +01:10:07.300 --> 01:10:09.996 +And lots of money. + +01:10:11.371 --> 01:10:13.532 +Playa. + +01:10:16.442 --> 01:10:17.636 +Yeah! + +01:10:18.878 --> 01:10:21.472 +Smack it up, flip it, rub it down! + +01:10:24.050 --> 01:10:26.712 +But Mama take care of Jack a lot. + +01:10:27.553 --> 01:10:31.284 +How many more sleeps +before she wakes up again? + +01:10:31.391 --> 01:10:32.915 +Sorry, Jack. + +01:10:33.026 --> 01:10:35.290 +She in heaven now. + +01:10:36.062 --> 01:10:39.327 +Damn! I thought the movie was bad. + +01:10:39.432 --> 01:10:42.560 +She sleep forever. + +01:10:42.669 --> 01:10:45.797 +To the man's credit, he's actually +eased up on the retard throttle. + +01:10:45.905 --> 01:10:49.500 +And now that's added a balance, +and the audience can connect. + +01:10:49.609 --> 01:10:53.409 +I mean, this is Theater 101, +but, you know, he's had a tough road. + +01:10:53.513 --> 01:10:54.639 +He'll become a naturalist. + +01:10:54.747 --> 01:10:56.442 +- Yeah. +- Break down the aesthetic distance, + +01:10:56.549 --> 01:10:58.278 +then the... + +01:11:00.953 --> 01:11:02.580 +Told you I'd tag you back. + +01:11:05.258 --> 01:11:07.522 +Can I tell you that I'm sorry + +01:11:07.627 --> 01:11:09.925 +for any offense I might've caused, man? + +01:11:10.029 --> 01:11:12.395 +- I just got caught up in... +- In being a dumbass? + +01:11:12.498 --> 01:11:13.897 +I guess so. + +01:11:14.000 --> 01:11:16.696 +Why you still doing this +Chicken George shit, I have no idea. + +01:11:16.803 --> 01:11:18.100 +- Neither do I. +- It's beyond me. + +01:11:18.204 --> 01:11:20.399 +- It's beyond me. +- You confused. + +01:11:20.506 --> 01:11:22.440 +- I am a little confused. +- I know. + +01:11:24.043 --> 01:11:25.840 +But are we cool? + +01:11:25.945 --> 01:11:27.276 +Not really. + +01:11:31.084 --> 01:11:32.676 +Hey, man. + +01:11:32.785 --> 01:11:34.480 +- How's it going? +- Good. Yourself? + +01:11:34.587 --> 01:11:36.612 +Hey, so, if it's no big deal, + +01:11:36.723 --> 01:11:39.590 +I think I'm just gonna hang back here +for the mission. + +01:11:39.692 --> 01:11:41.319 +Watch the stuff. + +01:11:41.427 --> 01:11:43.452 +- Is that cool? +- What? No! + +01:11:43.563 --> 01:11:45.463 +We need you, Jeff. + +01:11:45.565 --> 01:11:47.157 +What are you talking about? + +01:11:47.266 --> 01:11:48.824 +Okay, look, man. + +01:11:50.069 --> 01:11:52.367 +- I got something to tell you. +- Okay. + +01:11:54.607 --> 01:11:57.337 +You know those jellybeans +I was eating? + +01:11:57.443 --> 01:12:00.537 +Well, they weren't jellybeans, okay? + +01:12:01.447 --> 01:12:04.245 +- They were drugs. +- Really? + +01:12:04.350 --> 01:12:08.719 +I get down there near the mother lode, +I am done. I'm jonesing bad, man. + +01:12:08.821 --> 01:12:11.756 +I'm gonna fucking do all the heroin +in the fucking world. + +01:12:15.061 --> 01:12:19.225 +If you guys wanna make it through +this thing, you gotta strap me to a tree. + +01:12:20.600 --> 01:12:24.366 +- Are you serious? +- Yeah, I'm serious. Literally, a tree. + +01:12:24.470 --> 01:12:27.337 +And you can, no matter what, you can't +fucking untie me until it is done, + +01:12:27.440 --> 01:12:28.998 +until it is out of my system. + +01:12:29.108 --> 01:12:30.735 +I'm gonna say, +"Hey, man, I'm cool. It's cool. + +01:12:30.843 --> 01:12:32.401 +"I'm finally better. I'm finally better. +Untie me." + +01:12:32.512 --> 01:12:35.709 +Don't listen to me! +Anything I fucking say is a lie! + +01:12:35.815 --> 01:12:37.146 +You got it! + +01:12:37.817 --> 01:12:39.876 +Goodbye, Mama! + +01:12:39.986 --> 01:12:43.114 +Now you can have ice cream in heaven. + +01:12:43.222 --> 01:12:48.182 +I'll see you tonight, when I go to bed, +in my head movies. + +01:12:49.128 --> 01:12:53.724 +But this head movie +makes my eyes rain. + +01:13:02.775 --> 01:13:06.006 +Dang. Gilligan catching a kidney shot. + +01:13:07.880 --> 01:13:10.678 +- They got him on the move! +- That's torture, man. + +01:13:10.817 --> 01:13:13.684 +Okay. That's where they keeping him. + +01:13:13.786 --> 01:13:15.981 +I gotta get cracking on my costume. + +01:13:16.088 --> 01:13:17.487 +Say, are you good +with a needle and thread? + +01:13:17.590 --> 01:13:18.614 +Hell, yeah. + +01:13:18.724 --> 01:13:22.057 +Alpa Chino chinos sold more than +five million pairs last spring at the Gap. + +01:13:22.161 --> 01:13:24.857 +- I sewed them patterns myself, baby. +- Let's roll out. + +01:13:56.863 --> 01:13:59.093 +It's a little twig man Oscar. + +01:14:05.705 --> 01:14:08.105 +I'm going to call you Half Squat. + +01:14:09.809 --> 01:14:11.777 +And you can call me + +01:14:12.845 --> 01:14:14.142 +Papa. + +01:14:37.637 --> 01:14:39.366 +Wow, look at all those stars. + +01:14:41.340 --> 01:14:43.308 +Really makes a guy feel pretty small. + +01:14:44.844 --> 01:14:47.246 +This could be the last time +we look at these stars. + +01:14:48.381 --> 01:14:49.848 +Man, that's beauty. + +01:14:51.784 --> 01:14:54.844 +Nights like tonight +make a man wonder what it's all about. + +01:14:54.954 --> 01:14:57.252 +Hey, you guys. +Anybody got some bug spray? + +01:14:59.091 --> 01:15:00.217 +Don't ignore me! + +01:15:00.326 --> 01:15:03.193 +Stick it out, man. +We're gonna get through this. + +01:15:04.330 --> 01:15:06.389 +- Hey, Kirk? +- Yeah? + +01:15:06.499 --> 01:15:09.332 +Are you still dating +Jennifer Love Hewitt? + +01:15:09.435 --> 01:15:10.834 +'Cause I think she's hot. + +01:15:10.937 --> 01:15:14.304 +No, that was just some +tabloid conjecture. + +01:15:14.407 --> 01:15:18.400 +Hey, guys, I'm good. I made it through. +You can untie me now. + +01:15:19.478 --> 01:15:20.809 +Funny, huh? + +01:15:20.913 --> 01:15:23.814 +The circus life 280 days a year +on location. + +01:15:25.051 --> 01:15:27.952 +It's hard to find a girl +that can hang with that, you know? + +01:15:29.755 --> 01:15:31.814 +Not one worth keeping, nohow. + +01:15:31.924 --> 01:15:34.222 +Hey, Radar? Evans? + +01:15:34.327 --> 01:15:35.385 +No, it's Kevin. + +01:15:35.494 --> 01:15:37.223 +Kev, whatever the fuck. +Come over here. + +01:15:37.330 --> 01:15:39.560 +I didn't tell you, but Fatties: Fart Three +is coming down the pike, + +01:15:39.665 --> 01:15:43.157 +and there's a role in there for you +if you come over and untie me. + +01:15:43.269 --> 01:15:45.829 +Jeff, you're just going to +have to tough it out. + +01:15:45.938 --> 01:15:47.906 +Your mother's a cankerous whore! + +01:15:48.007 --> 01:15:49.338 +Jesus, man. + +01:15:50.376 --> 01:15:51.843 +Hey, man. + +01:15:51.944 --> 01:15:54.845 +Remember way back when I said +your mother was a cankerous whore? + +01:15:54.947 --> 01:15:58.348 +I'm sorry, man. +I did not mean that. She's not. + +01:15:58.451 --> 01:16:00.146 +How about you, man? + +01:16:00.286 --> 01:16:02.720 +You got some little minx waiting for you +on the other side of tomorrow? + +01:16:02.822 --> 01:16:04.289 +Me? + +01:16:04.390 --> 01:16:07.154 +I've barely even had a girlfriend, and... + +01:16:07.994 --> 01:16:11.657 +I was really hoping I'd get laid +when this movie came out, + +01:16:11.764 --> 01:16:14.164 +but that's not gonna happen. + +01:16:15.034 --> 01:16:16.501 +What about you, Masterblaster? + +01:16:16.602 --> 01:16:19.230 +You got a certain someone you trying +to get with back in the States? + +01:16:19.338 --> 01:16:24.071 +What, Alpa Chino? +He's like 10 girls deep, 24/7. + +01:16:24.176 --> 01:16:25.404 +No. You missing me, man. + +01:16:25.511 --> 01:16:27.308 +I'm talking about something special. +Big difference. + +01:16:27.413 --> 01:16:28.607 +How about it? + +01:16:29.382 --> 01:16:30.508 +Yeah. + +01:16:31.917 --> 01:16:33.885 +Yeah, there is. + +01:16:33.986 --> 01:16:37.319 +Well? What's the skinny? +Y'all been on a date or what? + +01:16:37.423 --> 01:16:39.323 +No. I mean... + +01:16:39.425 --> 01:16:44.260 +I always wanted to, but I guess +I just never had the courage to ask. + +01:16:44.363 --> 01:16:46.058 +It's... It's complicated. + +01:16:46.165 --> 01:16:48.599 +No! It's simple as pie, man. + +01:16:48.701 --> 01:16:51.295 +You plant your feet in the ground, you +look her square in the eyes, you say, + +01:16:51.404 --> 01:16:55.033 +"Hey, baby, you and me's going +on a date." That's the end of story. + +01:16:55.141 --> 01:16:57.837 +- What's her name? +- Lance. + +01:16:57.943 --> 01:16:59.706 +"Listen here, Lance..." + +01:17:00.579 --> 01:17:04.379 +Lance? What the fuck did I just hear? +Lance? + +01:17:04.483 --> 01:17:06.212 +- Did you say "Lance"? +- No! + +01:17:06.318 --> 01:17:08.252 +- That sounded like "Lance." +- No, I said "Nance." + +01:17:08.354 --> 01:17:10.515 +- That's what I said, "Nance." +- It sounded like "Lance." + +01:17:10.623 --> 01:17:12.147 +Look, I'm Alpa Chino, okay? + +01:17:12.258 --> 01:17:13.919 +I love the pussy! All right? + +01:17:14.026 --> 01:17:15.926 +Lay your ass back down +and look at the stars. + +01:17:16.062 --> 01:17:17.393 +When you wrote I Love Tha Pussy + +01:17:17.496 --> 01:17:20.863 +was you thinking of dangling your dice +on Lance's forehead? + +01:17:20.966 --> 01:17:23.332 +Oh, hell, no! What? Come on. Look. + +01:17:23.436 --> 01:17:26.371 +- Man, everyone's gay once in a while. +- I'm not gay! + +01:17:26.472 --> 01:17:27.496 +This Hollywood. + +01:17:27.606 --> 01:17:28.664 +How about we all get back to work? + +01:17:28.774 --> 01:17:30.435 +- Okay. Cool. +- This is ridiculous! + +01:17:30.543 --> 01:17:33.444 +We got a big day tomorrow. +Let's get focused. + +01:17:36.015 --> 01:17:40.850 +Alpa, if you untie me, +I will literally suck your dick right now. + +01:17:40.953 --> 01:17:44.184 +I told you, for the last time, +I love the pussy! + +01:17:45.558 --> 01:17:48.391 +I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, + +01:17:48.494 --> 01:17:51.588 +work the pipe and swallow the gravy. + +01:17:51.697 --> 01:17:53.756 +Get it over here, buddy. Let's do this. + +01:18:00.339 --> 01:18:01.397 +Okay, so, what's the plan? + +01:18:01.507 --> 01:18:02.906 +Are you gonna talk Vietnamese +to those dudes? + +01:18:03.008 --> 01:18:04.771 +No. No. Mandarin Chinese. + +01:18:04.877 --> 01:18:06.572 +Which, from what I can tell, +is what they speaking down there. + +01:18:06.679 --> 01:18:08.237 +How the hell do you know Chinese? + +01:18:08.347 --> 01:18:11.805 +Land of Silk and Money with Gong Li. +Second Globe, third Oscar. + +01:18:11.917 --> 01:18:15.876 +Prepped for that one by working in +a Beijing textile factory for eight months. + +01:18:15.988 --> 01:18:17.922 +That might be our ride. + +01:18:27.733 --> 01:18:28.961 +The straps are too tight! + +01:18:29.068 --> 01:18:31.434 +Shut your mouth and follow my lead. + +01:19:24.290 --> 01:19:25.484 +Okay. + +01:19:27.693 --> 01:19:29.251 +All right. + +01:19:29.361 --> 01:19:31.761 +That looks like it could be +the munitions hut right there. + +01:19:31.864 --> 01:19:33.923 +I'm gonna try to find Speedman +in the main building. + +01:19:53.419 --> 01:19:55.011 +Get over here! + +01:19:56.388 --> 01:19:57.946 +- What are you guys doing here? +- He has hands. + +01:19:58.057 --> 01:20:00.457 +- He killed Damien. +- Bullshit! + +01:20:00.559 --> 01:20:03.050 +- He blinded Jamie Lee Curtis. +- Almost! + +01:20:03.162 --> 01:20:06.359 +What are you talking about? +Damien stepped on a old landmine. + +01:20:06.465 --> 01:20:08.023 +Sweet. Thank God. + +01:20:08.133 --> 01:20:10.328 +- We busting Speedman out. +- Speedman's here? + +01:20:19.812 --> 01:20:21.336 +They got my boom boom up here. + +01:20:21.447 --> 01:20:24.041 +I take it y'all are doing +the Wet Offensive from the book. + +01:20:24.149 --> 01:20:25.411 +I can give y'all a diversion. + +01:20:25.517 --> 01:20:29.453 +I got enough shit here to light this place +up like it's the Fourth of fucking July. + +01:21:10.929 --> 01:21:13.397 +Yes, your farm. + +01:21:17.770 --> 01:21:20.170 +Where is your farm, + +01:21:21.740 --> 01:21:23.207 +American? + +01:21:26.045 --> 01:21:27.307 +My farm? + +01:21:29.248 --> 01:21:30.510 +Oh, shit. + +01:21:31.283 --> 01:21:34.480 +Here's my motherfucking farm! + +01:21:34.586 --> 01:21:36.076 +Yeah! + +01:21:41.026 --> 01:21:44.018 +Yeah! Chicka-chickaw, baby! + +01:21:45.030 --> 01:21:46.224 +Kwan-Lo! + +01:21:47.733 --> 01:21:49.633 +I'm a lead farmer, motherfucker! + +01:21:50.135 --> 01:21:51.295 +Yeah! + +01:21:52.871 --> 01:21:56.068 +Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, +keep your head down! + +01:21:56.175 --> 01:21:58.439 +Keep your head down on the ground! + +01:21:58.544 --> 01:22:00.705 +Nobody move or I do the little big guy! + +01:22:00.813 --> 01:22:04.249 +That's right, +we running this program now, J.P. + +01:22:04.350 --> 01:22:06.978 +Now show me where the drugs are. + +01:22:07.086 --> 01:22:08.883 +What the fuck? + +01:22:08.987 --> 01:22:10.682 +That ain't the plan! + +01:22:10.789 --> 01:22:12.484 +Don't judge me! + +01:22:16.161 --> 01:22:17.924 +He's got a real serious problem. + +01:22:18.731 --> 01:22:20.995 +Hey! Hey, you! + +01:22:21.100 --> 01:22:23.295 +Take off your clothes! + +01:22:23.402 --> 01:22:25.063 +Take off your clothes! + +01:22:25.170 --> 01:22:26.467 +What do we do now? + +01:22:26.572 --> 01:22:28.403 +Stick with the plan. Find Speedman. + +01:22:28.507 --> 01:22:30.907 +Alpa, keep this clown posse down. +Come on now. + +01:22:31.009 --> 01:22:34.376 +Y'all heard the man. +Be suede, don't move! + +01:22:34.480 --> 01:22:36.380 +Fuck your do-rag. Fuck your do-rag. + +01:22:36.482 --> 01:22:38.973 +- Door! +- One, two, three! + +01:22:52.264 --> 01:22:54.095 +I go high, you go low. + +01:22:58.470 --> 01:23:02.338 +Get down. Get down! Get down! +Chow Yun-Fat, get the hell down! + +01:23:02.441 --> 01:23:05.740 +If I see one more head pop up, +it's gonna be bullet Whac-A-Mole. + +01:23:07.312 --> 01:23:08.745 +Come on, come on! + +01:23:08.847 --> 01:23:10.838 +- Smoke grenade. +- Don't drop it now. + +01:23:11.517 --> 01:23:13.075 +Here. + +01:23:13.185 --> 01:23:15.585 +- What's this? +- I don't know what it's called. + +01:23:15.687 --> 01:23:18.281 +I just know the sound it makes +when it lies. + +01:23:18.390 --> 01:23:21.917 +Don't move, Matchbox, +or I will shoot you. + +01:23:22.027 --> 01:23:24.894 +I'm gonna put on this thing. Don't move. + +01:23:24.997 --> 01:23:26.726 +I can still see you. + +01:23:32.871 --> 01:23:33.963 +Tugg! + +01:23:36.508 --> 01:23:37.668 +Tugg? + +01:23:39.745 --> 01:23:40.939 +Gotcha. + +01:23:42.114 --> 01:23:45.015 +Roll your shit up, man. We going home. + +01:23:45.117 --> 01:23:46.243 +Home? + +01:23:48.387 --> 01:23:52.221 +But I'm doing five shows a day +for a standing-room-only crowd. + +01:23:52.324 --> 01:23:54.884 +Don't you get it? I already am home. + +01:23:57.196 --> 01:24:00.324 +All right, now, dude, you gotta get it... + +01:24:00.432 --> 01:24:02.627 +My son gave this to me. + +01:24:02.734 --> 01:24:06.226 +- That's your stick buddy? +- His name is Twigman. + +01:24:06.338 --> 01:24:08.169 +Does he wanna come with us? + +01:24:28.427 --> 01:24:30.190 +Get the hell down! + +01:24:30.295 --> 01:24:33.355 +What you doing? What you doing? +Don't touch that gun. + +01:24:33.465 --> 01:24:34.864 +Don't do it! Don't touch that gun! + +01:24:34.967 --> 01:24:37.265 +On my momma, if you touch that gun... + +01:24:41.907 --> 01:24:44.307 +- Oh, shit, it's on! +- Over here! + +01:25:15.641 --> 01:25:17.700 +Shadow me, Pinocchio! + +01:25:17.809 --> 01:25:19.037 +Smoke! + +01:25:24.883 --> 01:25:26.578 +Oh, shit! + +01:25:31.423 --> 01:25:32.947 +Jeff, don't! + +01:25:33.792 --> 01:25:35.783 +It doesn't matter what I do. + +01:25:35.894 --> 01:25:38.863 +I'll always be a screw-up. +No one'll ever respect me. + +01:25:38.964 --> 01:25:42.957 +That is not true, you are not a screw-up! +You make so many people laugh. + +01:25:43.068 --> 01:25:45.298 +They only laugh at my farts. + +01:25:45.404 --> 01:25:47.395 +Jeff, we really need to go now! + +01:25:47.506 --> 01:25:49.098 +This is all I deserve! + +01:26:09.261 --> 01:26:11.491 +Laugh at that, you bastards! + +01:26:11.597 --> 01:26:14.998 +Hilarious! Hilarious! + +01:26:16.535 --> 01:26:19.368 +Let's move. We only have 16 hours +before they wake up. + +01:26:26.979 --> 01:26:28.571 +Sounds like the dinner bell's ringing. + +01:26:28.680 --> 01:26:31.615 +These assholes are gonna be crawling +in here ready to fucking eat us. + +01:26:34.553 --> 01:26:37.420 +There. All right, you keep six right here. + +01:26:39.358 --> 01:26:41.519 +Come on, let's go. + +01:26:41.627 --> 01:26:43.561 +Come on, what are you guys doing? +Let's get out of here! + +01:26:43.662 --> 01:26:45.323 +He's on tilt status. + +01:26:45.430 --> 01:26:49.389 +Same thing happened to me when +I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot. + +01:26:49.501 --> 01:26:51.594 +They found me in an alley in Burbank + +01:26:51.703 --> 01:26:54.934 +trying to re-enter the Earth's +atmosphere in an old refrigerator box. + +01:27:00.445 --> 01:27:02.675 +Give me the flame thrower. +You gotta start the chopper. + +01:27:02.781 --> 01:27:06.217 +- No, fuck that! Just give me this. +- No time! I'll take care of this! + +01:27:07.452 --> 01:27:09.352 +All right. Give me your hooks. + +01:27:09.454 --> 01:27:11.081 +Don't worry, +I'm not gonna put them on again. + +01:27:11.189 --> 01:27:14.022 +- Just give me your goddamn hooks. +- All right. Here. + +01:27:14.126 --> 01:27:16.287 +Get those boys back to the bird, pronto! + +01:27:21.233 --> 01:27:23.394 +Shit! Enough! + +01:27:23.502 --> 01:27:25.402 +Fake shit! + +01:27:28.507 --> 01:27:29.633 +Fuck! + +01:27:37.349 --> 01:27:40.512 +Go get your guys! +Get them to the chopper! + +01:27:40.619 --> 01:27:42.712 +I'll take care of these yahoos! + +01:27:44.756 --> 01:27:47.020 +You're gonna focus up now, +motherfucker, and say it. + +01:27:47.125 --> 01:27:49.252 +- "It's me, Tugg!" +- It's me, Tugg. + +01:27:49.361 --> 01:27:50.828 +That's right! Now, Tugg who? + +01:27:50.929 --> 01:27:53.727 +- Tugg who? I don't know. Who are you? +- Me? + +01:27:53.832 --> 01:27:55.527 +I know who I am! + +01:27:55.634 --> 01:27:59.365 +I'm a dude playing a dude +disguised as another dude. + +01:27:59.471 --> 01:28:00.529 What? -00:57:46.360 --> 00:57:52.120 -You're the one who destroyed our database, and stole years of intelligence work. How could you do that? +01:28:00.639 --> 01:28:02.732 +You a dude +that don't know what dude he is! -00:57:52.120 --> 00:57:58.500 -And how could you go from policing the world to running guns for this two-bit gangster? +01:28:02.841 --> 01:28:05.537 +Or are you a dude who has no idea +what dude he is -00:57:58.500 --> 00:58:02.320 -Why did you join the Shadow Agency, Killer Bean? +01:28:05.644 --> 01:28:06.906 +and claims to know what dude he is... -00:58:02.320 --> 00:58:07.840 -To get rid of the trash in this world, one bullet at a time. +01:28:07.012 --> 01:28:08.747 +What the fuck +are you guys talking about? -00:58:08.800 --> 00:58:12.260 -Yeah, we all joined for the same reason. +01:28:08.880 --> 01:28:09.972 +...by playing other dudes? -00:58:12.260 --> 00:58:15.800 -But when I joined the Shadow Agency 12 years ago, +01:28:10.082 --> 01:28:11.276 +I know what dude I am! -00:58:15.800 --> 00:58:17.960 -It was more clear cut. +01:28:11.383 --> 01:28:14.181 +- You're scared. +- I ain't scared. Scared of what? -00:58:17.960 --> 00:58:23.560 -Our job was to neutralize threats, while the politicians were paralyzed in diplomatic bullshit. +01:28:14.286 --> 01:28:15.548 +Or scared of who? -00:58:23.560 --> 00:58:26.220 -That's just the way I like it. +01:28:15.654 --> 01:28:18.248 +- Scared of who? +- Come on, guys. We really need to go! -00:58:26.220 --> 00:58:28.200 -Times have changed. +01:28:18.356 --> 01:28:19.618 +Scared of you. -00:58:28.200 --> 00:58:30.820 -The agency was always privately controlled, +01:28:24.529 --> 01:28:26.861 +- Jesus. +- What's going on? -00:58:30.820 --> 00:58:34.980 -But originally we always worked with the government to protect our citizens. +01:28:26.965 --> 01:28:28.489 +The dudes are emerging. -00:58:34.980 --> 00:58:37.140 -Then it all changed. +01:28:28.600 --> 01:28:29.931 +He's right, you know. -00:58:37.140 --> 00:58:40.280 -I'm not sure what caused the shift but now, +01:28:31.703 --> 01:28:33.102 +I am not -00:58:40.280 --> 00:58:44.800 -we're just guns for hire, providing services to the highest bidder. +01:28:34.673 --> 01:28:36.368 +Sergeant Lincoln Osiris. -00:58:44.800 --> 00:58:49.240 -Anyone with the right amount of money can buy the talents of the Shadow Beans. +01:28:40.779 --> 01:28:42.246 +We gotta roll out. -00:58:49.240 --> 00:58:52.560 -On one mission, I was asked to protect some rich dictator. +01:28:42.347 --> 01:28:45.578 +Nor am I Father O'Malley. -00:58:52.560 --> 00:58:56.180 -On another, I assassinated an opposing leader. +01:28:47.819 --> 01:28:50.754 +Or Neil Armstrong. -00:58:56.180 --> 00:58:58.040 -It didn't matter what we did. +01:28:58.330 --> 01:29:00.491 +I think I might be nobody. -00:58:58.040 --> 00:59:03.060 -The Shadow Agency always convinced us that what we did was for the right reasons. +01:29:01.900 --> 01:29:03.060 +Wow! -00:59:03.060 --> 00:59:10.700 -But before I left, they had me deliver weapons to the very group of beans I had spent several years trying to take down. +01:29:03.168 --> 01:29:05.830 +The insecurity level +with you guys is ridiculous! -00:59:10.700 --> 00:59:13.100 -That was it for me. +01:29:07.105 --> 01:29:10.074 +- Everybody's got issues! +- Yeah, man, everybody got issues. -00:59:14.300 --> 00:59:16.740 -Do you expect me to believe any of this? +01:29:10.175 --> 01:29:12.735 +Come on! You're Kirk Lazarus. -00:59:16.740 --> 00:59:22.300 -All I know is that you breached the agency's security, and stole years of intelligence work. +01:29:12.844 --> 01:29:15.005 +You're the whole reason +I got into acting. -00:59:22.300 --> 00:59:24.340 -I didn't steal anything. +01:29:15.113 --> 01:29:16.944 +I memorized every single monologue -00:59:24.340 --> 00:59:26.900 -All the information I took was mine. +01:29:17.048 --> 01:29:19.642 +you ever did +when I was in theater school. -00:59:26.900 --> 00:59:33.180 -I wasn't about to give up 12 years of sweat and blood. I needed it to continue my work. +01:29:19.751 --> 01:29:21.776 +- Really? +- Yeah. And look, Tugg! -00:59:33.180 --> 00:59:38.080 -And exactly how does serving Cappuccino continue your work? +01:29:21.887 --> 01:29:24.321 +I saw Scorcher I +24 times when I was in eighth grade. -00:59:38.080 --> 00:59:41.620 -Cappuccino is a major player in the weapons market. +01:29:24.422 --> 01:29:27.391 +That shit blew me away! +I got high to that shit! You the man! -00:59:41.620 --> 00:59:44.680 -Posing as his lackey puts me on the inside. +01:29:27.492 --> 01:29:30.620 +Yeah, man, Scorcher I was great. +Let's get the fuck out of here! -00:59:44.680 --> 00:59:50.560 -I can find out who wants what, who sells -what, and where the big threats are. +01:29:30.729 --> 01:29:34.859 +Tugg, Tugger, you're the last piece +of the puzzle, buddy. -00:59:50.560 --> 00:59:58.920 -But unlike at the Shadow Agency, I can finally kill the beans who deserve to be killed. +01:29:34.966 --> 01:29:37.958 +We need you! Your men need you! +Are you with us? -01:00:01.180 --> 01:00:05.300 -You got yourself a few more minutes of -life with that story, Dark Bean. +01:29:42.307 --> 01:29:44.298 +I'm a rooster illusion. -01:00:05.300 --> 01:00:08.620 -But you can't out talk my trigger finger. +01:29:44.409 --> 01:29:45.603 +Fuck it. We'll deal with him later. -01:00:08.620 --> 01:00:11.160 -It doesn't matter if you believe me or not. +01:29:45.710 --> 01:29:48.873 +Let's move. Come on. Come on. +Double time. Gotta go! -01:00:11.160 --> 01:00:13.160 -This is probably your last mission. +01:29:51.416 --> 01:29:53.213 +Come on, come on, come on. -01:00:13.160 --> 01:00:17.000 -If I don't kill you, the Shadow Agency will. +01:29:56.988 --> 01:29:58.922 +Bingo! Move out. -01:00:18.020 --> 01:00:22.620 -What the hell are you talking about? I'm -one of their best Shadow Beans. +01:30:00.859 --> 01:30:02.224 +Oh, God. -01:00:22.620 --> 01:00:24.760 -Why would they want me dead? +01:30:04.196 --> 01:30:07.063 +Just say no to this, +you drug-making midget. -01:00:24.760 --> 01:00:27.500 -The Shadow Agency knows I could expose them. +01:30:11.636 --> 01:30:13.103 +Gotta hold on! -01:00:27.500 --> 01:00:31.160 -Any agent that comes in contact with me is compromised. +01:30:19.277 --> 01:30:20.642 +Four Leaf! -01:00:31.160 --> 01:00:32.880 -And from what I've been hearing, +01:30:25.383 --> 01:30:26.714 +You grew hands? -01:00:32.880 --> 01:00:36.980 -You've been a liability to the agency since the day you started. +01:30:35.961 --> 01:30:37.485 +RPG, gentlemen! -01:00:36.980 --> 01:00:42.680 -Seeing the mess you made last night confirms that the Shadow Agency has a hard time controlling you. +01:30:40.265 --> 01:30:41.789 +Where are you going? -01:00:42.680 --> 01:00:46.040 -They must know you joined for the same -reasons I did. +01:30:47.305 --> 01:30:49.830 +Oh, my God. +I am moving to catering after this. -01:00:46.040 --> 01:00:50.340 -They know it's only a matter of time -before you find out the truth about them. +01:31:11.863 --> 01:31:13.194 +My ass! -01:00:50.340 --> 01:00:55.440 -And if they can't control you now, how -will they control you when you do find out? +01:31:16.434 --> 01:31:17.765 +My ass! -01:00:55.440 --> 01:01:01.520 -It's smarter for them to diffuse you -now, before you become a bigger problem. +01:31:19.371 --> 01:31:22.636 +Hey, yo! +We gotta get our shit together, Tugg! -01:01:02.280 --> 01:01:06.440 -If they wanted me dead, then why even -send me on this mission? +01:31:22.741 --> 01:31:24.971 +We gotta get his cracker ass +to the chopper! -01:01:06.440 --> 01:01:10.380 -You said it yourself. You're one of their best. +01:31:25.076 --> 01:31:29.376 +Are you still crazy? +We gotta get Candisky to the chopper! -01:01:10.380 --> 01:01:14.900 -They tried to kill me before. They sent Shadow Beans after me twice. +01:31:29.481 --> 01:31:30.948 +It's Sandusky. -01:01:14.900 --> 01:01:17.420 -They both failed. +01:31:32.817 --> 01:31:36.116 +- Kevin Sandusky. +- That's my name. -01:01:17.420 --> 01:01:20.040 -Think about it, Killer Bean. +01:31:36.221 --> 01:31:37.813 +You remembered my name. -01:01:20.040 --> 01:01:24.660 -They want us both dead, and we're hard to kill. +01:31:37.923 --> 01:31:39.948 +Alpa, go help Cody. -01:01:24.660 --> 01:01:29.800 -Regardless of the outcome of this mission, the agency gets what they want. +01:31:40.058 --> 01:31:42.049 +Portnoy, get Sandusky +back to the chopper. Go! -01:01:29.800 --> 01:01:33.540 -Because one of us will be eliminated. +01:31:42.160 --> 01:31:43.991 +- I got him! +- Let's go! -01:01:35.460 --> 01:01:37.520 -No, no. You're lying. +01:31:45.430 --> 01:31:46.954 +Let's get out of here! -01:01:37.520 --> 01:01:41.580 -I'm not gonna believe you. I won't believe a word you say. +01:31:58.843 --> 01:32:00.333 +Hey, Leaf! -01:02:27.820 --> 01:02:30.940 -I had to take the shot. +01:32:00.445 --> 01:32:01.673 +- Leaf! +- Yeah. -01:02:30.940 --> 01:02:35.420 -I would have done more with my life than you ever will. +01:32:01.780 --> 01:32:02.769 +Hit the plunger -01:02:35.420 --> 01:02:37.940 -Doesn't matter now. +01:32:02.881 --> 01:32:04.075 +- as soon as they clear the bridge! +- Got it! -01:02:38.660 --> 01:02:42.060 -We're both dead beans. +01:32:05.750 --> 01:32:08.184 +Come on! Get in the chopper! -01:03:06.020 --> 01:03:07.080 -Dispatch. +01:32:09.020 --> 01:32:11.818 +- Come on! Move! +- Kirk! Wait! -01:03:07.080 --> 01:03:09.500 -This is Cromwell. Where's my backup? +01:32:14.526 --> 01:32:17.620 +- What the hell is he doing? +- Laz, I'm gonna blow the bridge! -01:03:09.500 --> 01:03:13.660 -6 squad cars eta 3 minutes, 2 special assault units in 5. +01:32:17.729 --> 01:32:18.923 +Leaf's about to blow the bridge. +Come on! -01:03:13.660 --> 01:03:15.100 -Get me more. +01:32:19.030 --> 01:32:21.624 +You don't have to! You don't have to! +I'm staying. -01:03:15.100 --> 01:03:17.280 -How many, sir? +01:32:21.733 --> 01:32:23.223 +No, I can't let you do that, mate. +We gotta go. -01:03:17.280 --> 01:03:19.200 -Everyone. +01:32:23.335 --> 01:32:25.860 +No, I'm telling you, I'm not being crazy. +They'll listen to me. -01:03:38.620 --> 01:03:40.180 -Yes? +01:32:25.971 --> 01:32:28.804 +I know it sounds weird, +but I have a connection with them. -01:03:47.540 --> 01:03:50.260 -Yes, I am here. +01:32:28.907 --> 01:32:32.741 +- Get over here! +- I have a son now. Little Half Squat. -01:03:58.940 --> 01:04:01.800 -'Deactivated' +01:32:32.844 --> 01:32:34.402 +Who in crikey fuck is Half Squat? -01:04:06.760 --> 01:04:09.960 -And who is the target? +01:32:34.512 --> 01:32:36.742 +He's my son. He's my boy! -01:04:13.640 --> 01:04:16.760 -'Deactivated' +01:32:36.848 --> 01:32:39.282 +He needs me. I have to go back to him. -01:04:27.680 --> 01:04:30.280 -No. No problem at all. +01:32:42.420 --> 01:32:44.081 +You tell the world what happened here. -01:04:30.280 --> 01:04:33.200 -I've always wanted to meet him. +01:32:44.189 --> 01:32:46.020 +What happened here? -01:04:33.200 --> 01:04:37.140 -I'll call you when the job is done. +01:32:46.124 --> 01:32:48.354 +I don't know, but you need to tell them. -01:04:37.140 --> 01:04:38.360 -'Secure Connection' +01:32:50.729 --> 01:32:52.560 +I got this. -01:06:09.520 --> 01:06:11.060 -Drop your guns! +01:32:52.664 --> 01:32:53.824 +Tugg! -01:06:11.060 --> 01:06:12.820 -Put em down, now! +01:32:54.532 --> 01:32:58.093 +You take care of the boys! +I'll deal with these guys. -01:06:13.360 --> 01:06:15.680 -It's not gonna end like this. +01:32:59.504 --> 01:33:03.099 +Where is he going? +We're gonna fucking die! -01:06:16.400 --> 01:06:18.720 -Drop your guns! +01:33:03.208 --> 01:33:05.836 +Laz, come on. He joined the circus. +Let's go. -01:06:26.720 --> 01:06:30.520 -Whoa, whoa ,whoa! Easy, hold your fire! +01:33:05.944 --> 01:33:07.138 +- You've got hands. +- Yeah. -01:06:33.380 --> 01:06:36.060 -Finally brought some backup, huh. +01:33:07.245 --> 01:33:09.372 +- Fuck! You've got hands? +- Come on! -01:06:36.060 --> 01:06:39.560 -Yeah. Does this satisfy your ego? +01:33:10.448 --> 01:33:11.574 +- Come on! +- Get in! -01:06:39.560 --> 01:06:43.660 -What do you want, Cromwell? Coming to see if I did your dirty work? +01:33:11.683 --> 01:33:13.310 +- Come on! +- He's staying? -01:06:43.660 --> 01:06:46.240 -He's right over there. +01:33:13.418 --> 01:33:15.682 +Go! He's a lost cause, mate! +Get out of here! -01:06:46.240 --> 01:06:48.080 -Yeah, he's dead all right. +01:33:20.258 --> 01:33:24.752 +I was wrong! Blow the bridge! +Blow the fucking bridge! -01:06:48.080 --> 01:06:49.860 -But you didn't kill him. +01:33:30.602 --> 01:33:32.001 +I got this. -01:06:49.860 --> 01:06:51.580 -He did. +01:33:32.670 --> 01:33:34.103 +Leaf, no! -01:06:52.740 --> 01:06:54.180 -What does it matter? +01:34:18.249 --> 01:34:20.877 +It's over! He's gone! -01:06:54.180 --> 01:06:58.760 -You got the results you wanted. Now just step aside and let me by. +01:34:20.985 --> 01:34:23.044 +Cody! We gotta go! -01:06:58.760 --> 01:07:00.540 -Let you by? +01:34:25.056 --> 01:34:26.250 +Look. -01:07:00.540 --> 01:07:02.660 -You're the key to this whole mess. +01:34:48.880 --> 01:34:50.211 +Think he's done. -01:07:02.660 --> 01:07:08.540 -If I let you go, I'll never find out about the Shadow Agency, or the Shadow Beans. +01:34:50.315 --> 01:34:51.543 +Cover me! -01:07:08.540 --> 01:07:10.540 -I can't help you. +01:34:52.617 --> 01:34:55.552 +- Come on! +- Wait, come back! -01:07:10.540 --> 01:07:11.780 -Why not? +01:34:55.653 --> 01:34:57.382 +How do we cover him? -01:07:11.780 --> 01:07:14.900 -You are Shadow Bean, aren't you? +01:35:01.626 --> 01:35:04.963 +All right, game over. Come on, mate. +Come on. -01:07:16.060 --> 01:07:18.600 -Not anymore. +01:35:05.130 --> 01:35:07.724 +- You all right, man? +- I'm cold. -01:07:23.080 --> 01:07:25.900 -They're coming after you, aren't they. +01:35:07.832 --> 01:35:09.823 +I can't feel my legs. -01:07:26.920 --> 01:07:29.740 -Don't shoot! Hold your fire! +01:35:09.934 --> 01:35:12.869 +No, no, they're in a puddle, mate. See? +There's a puddle right there. -01:07:35.560 --> 01:07:40.220 -If you tell me what I need to know, I can protect you. +01:35:12.971 --> 01:35:14.165 +- No worries. +- Good. -01:07:40.220 --> 01:07:43.120 -I highly doubt that. +01:35:14.272 --> 01:35:15.569 +Come on, we gotta split, man. -01:07:43.120 --> 01:07:45.880 -I can at least give you a place to stay tonight. +01:35:15.673 --> 01:35:17.971 +- You guys came back for me. +- Course. -01:07:45.880 --> 01:07:49.280 -Let me help you, Killer Bean. +01:35:18.076 --> 01:35:20.408 +Hey! I want you to know something. -01:08:06.920 --> 01:08:11.000 -There is nothing you can do that will help me. +01:35:20.512 --> 01:35:21.706 +What? -01:08:50.319 --> 01:08:54.239 -But I do need a quiet place to think. +01:35:22.881 --> 01:35:24.678 +I know who you are. -01:09:20.359 --> 01:09:25.059 -Not exactly what I had in mind, but this will do. +01:35:26.784 --> 01:35:28.547 +You're my friend. -01:09:25.060 --> 01:09:28.939 -Make yourself at home. This will keep you safe for the night. +01:35:30.822 --> 01:35:32.449 +You're my brother. -01:09:28.939 --> 01:09:32.259 -Hell, it'll probably keep us safe too. +01:35:33.324 --> 01:35:36.157 +But like a really cool brother, you know? -01:09:32.260 --> 01:09:35.140 -I don't plan on staying long. +01:35:36.261 --> 01:35:37.626 +Like a brother +where there was no animosity or... -01:09:36.439 --> 01:09:41.019 -I'll be back in the morning. We have a -lot to talk about. +01:35:37.729 --> 01:35:40.562 +Don't look now, +you got some real tears going. -01:09:58.940 --> 01:10:03.560 -Who were these guys? I'd like to know where they get guns like this. +01:35:40.665 --> 01:35:41.654 +Really? -01:10:03.560 --> 01:10:08.300 -Hey, don't touch that stuff. You know better than that. You're contaminating the evidence. +01:35:41.766 --> 01:35:43.256 +That's the stuff +that accolades are made of. -01:10:08.300 --> 01:10:12.260 -I don't think we're going to have a shortage of evidence here. +01:35:43.368 --> 01:35:44.835 +Jesus, let's go, man! -01:10:30.100 --> 01:10:34.580 -Whoa, hold it! This is a crime scene. No -one is allowed on the premises. +01:35:44.936 --> 01:35:46.403 +All right? -01:10:34.580 --> 01:10:38.560 -Yeah. Nobody ordered no egg foo yung here. +01:35:47.972 --> 01:35:49.405 +Upsy-daisy. -01:10:39.400 --> 01:10:42.580 -Where is Killer Bean? +01:35:51.176 --> 01:35:54.168 +Come on! Come on! Come on! +Let's go! Let's go! -01:10:42.580 --> 01:10:45.680 -Killer Bean? We put his ass in the slammer. +01:35:56.314 --> 01:35:57.611 +Get in! Get in! -01:10:45.680 --> 01:10:47.380 -Wait. +01:35:57.715 --> 01:35:59.740 +Come on! Here we go! -01:10:47.380 --> 01:10:49.960 -Who are you? +01:36:02.287 --> 01:36:05.085 +Tuggernuts! I got it! -01:10:56.940 --> 01:10:59.800 -Let me put it in a language you can understand. +01:36:07.458 --> 01:36:09.756 +- Tugger! +- Rick! -01:10:59.800 --> 01:11:04.660 -So sorry. No chow mein here. You deliver wrong place. +01:36:12.363 --> 01:36:13.591 +What the fuck? -01:11:09.400 --> 01:11:12.940 -Get your hands in the air! Put them up, now! +01:36:13.698 --> 01:36:15.325 +I got the TiVo! -01:11:22.700 --> 01:11:27.260 -Now put your hands on your head, drop to -your knees. +01:36:16.234 --> 01:36:20.637 +My friend wants a TiVo, +my friend gets a TiVo! -01:12:18.380 --> 01:12:21.120 -Commander. Thanks for your help. +01:36:25.810 --> 01:36:27.072 +Oh, shit! -01:12:21.120 --> 01:12:24.160 -I'm turning in for the night. I'll be back in the morning. +01:37:03.915 --> 01:37:05.940 +And the Oscar goes to... -01:12:24.160 --> 01:12:27.060 -Right, sir. We'll be here when you get back. +01:37:08.686 --> 01:37:10.984 +Yes! Tugg Speedman. -01:12:27.060 --> 01:12:28.640 -Excellent. +01:37:12.624 --> 01:37:15.320 +"Tropic Blunder, +The True Story Behind the Making -01:12:41.680 --> 01:12:43.180 -What do we got here? +01:37:15.426 --> 01:37:17.951 +"of the Most Expensive +Fake True War Story Ever." -01:12:43.180 --> 01:12:47.340 -Just some punk bean -we caught assaulting an officer. +01:37:19.530 --> 01:37:20.656 +Yeah! -01:12:47.340 --> 01:12:50.460 -Well he sure picked the wrong night to do that. +01:37:25.370 --> 01:37:27.270 +Yeah, you son of a bitch! -01:12:50.460 --> 01:12:52.300 -Take him in. +01:37:46.591 --> 01:37:50.960 +Eight Oscars, $400 million -01:13:29.020 --> 01:13:33.020 -Hold it! Another move, and we drop you! +01:37:51.062 --> 01:37:54.293 +and you saved +Tugg Speedman's career. -01:13:45.000 --> 01:13:46.920 -Take him out! +01:37:54.399 --> 01:37:57.266 +I couldn't have done it +without you, Slolom. -01:15:20.060 --> 01:15:24.060 -These are very nice guns. +01:37:59.304 --> 01:38:00.396 +Really? -01:15:43.200 --> 01:15:46.420 -Are you sure you want to do that? +01:38:00.505 --> 01:38:02.496 +No, dickhead, of course I could. -01:15:46.420 --> 01:15:50.240 -You need them more than I do. +01:38:02.607 --> 01:38:05.269 +- A nutless monkey could do your job. +- Well, I... -01:15:55.520 --> 01:15:58.900 -So you're the bean they sent to kill me. +01:38:05.376 --> 01:38:08.277 +Now, go get drunk +and take credit at all the parties. -01:15:58.900 --> 01:16:00.820 -Mmm hmm. +01:38:08.379 --> 01:38:11.075 +- I would never do that to... +- Joking. -01:16:02.640 --> 01:16:04.500 -Who are you? +01:38:11.182 --> 01:38:12.547 +- Yeah? +- Yeah. -01:16:04.500 --> 01:16:09.540 -I am Jet Bean. -Assassin from the East. +01:38:12.650 --> 01:38:14.845 +Very... Okay, there he is. -01:16:10.780 --> 01:16:14.820 -I completed my mission. Why do they want me dead? +01:38:14.952 --> 01:38:16.442 +- There he is. Okay. +- Go have fun. -01:16:14.820 --> 01:16:17.800 -They don't tell me why. +01:38:16.554 --> 01:38:18.078 +All right. We're having a... -01:16:17.800 --> 01:16:20.500 -And I don't ask. +01:38:18.189 --> 01:38:20.589 +Fuck, okay. Thank you, Les. +Thank you. You have a good night... -01:16:21.240 --> 01:16:25.220 -They decided to kill me the moment they sent -me on this mission, didn't they. +01:38:20.692 --> 01:38:23.092 +But seriously, +a nutless monkey could do your job. -01:16:25.220 --> 01:16:27.520 -That's what Dark Bean told me. - -01:16:27.520 --> 01:16:32.280 -The agency knew that once I found out the truth about them, they couldn't trust me. - -01:16:32.280 --> 01:16:34.500 -They were right. - -01:16:35.460 --> 01:16:38.240 -Save your breath, Killer Bean. - -01:16:38.240 --> 01:16:40.660 -You're going to need it. - -01:16:40.660 --> 01:16:46.560 -Don't you know what the Shadow Agency is? Don't you realize how they're using us? - -01:16:46.560 --> 01:16:50.460 -I can see you've been brainwashed by Dark Bean. - -01:16:50.460 --> 01:16:52.720 -He was a fool. - -01:16:52.720 --> 01:16:57.700 -No one Shadow Bean can threaten the agency. - -01:16:59.260 --> 01:17:02.140 -But I'm no Shadow Bean. - -01:17:15.340 --> 01:17:20.080 -I certainly hope you trained harder than that. - -01:17:58.040 --> 01:17:59.240 -Well... - -01:17:59.240 --> 01:18:02.420 -At least you're in the fighting mood now. - -01:21:11.280 --> 01:21:15.760 -You have been a formidable opponent. - -01:21:15.760 --> 01:21:20.340 -I am sorry I have to end this game. - -01:21:27.960 --> 01:21:31.620 -You already tried that. - -01:22:08.420 --> 01:22:10.200 -It's over. - -01:22:14.740 --> 01:22:18.480 -Not for you. - -01:23:05.780 --> 01:23:07.820 -'Secure Connection' - -01:23:13.400 --> 01:23:16.600 -Jet Bean, is your mission complete? - -01:23:16.600 --> 01:23:19.300 -Jet Bean is dead. - -01:23:20.280 --> 01:23:22.100 -Killer Bean... - -01:23:23.420 --> 01:23:26.520 -I learned a lot about the Shadow Agency today. - -01:23:26.520 --> 01:23:28.760 -And it's not for me. - -01:23:28.760 --> 01:23:30.460 -I quit. - -01:23:31.180 --> 01:23:35.580 -Don't be rash. Think about what -you are doing. - -01:23:35.580 --> 01:23:39.200 -Why don't you come in? We can talk -things over. - -01:23:39.200 --> 01:23:44.200 -Oh, I'm coming in. But it won't be for talking. - -01:24:05.640 --> 01:24:07.560 -This will do. +01:38:23.194 --> 01:38:24.923 +Good. Thank you, sir.