From 70b6a240142809a550a5b94c9a904eb3bd87e43a Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Aevann Date: Fri, 13 Oct 2023 00:17:31 +0300 Subject: [PATCH] change subtitles --- files/assets/WEbe6j.vtt | 3272 ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ files/assets/{1.vtt => ayvN3F.vtt} | 3270 --------------------------- 2 files changed, 3272 insertions(+), 3270 deletions(-) create mode 100644 files/assets/WEbe6j.vtt rename files/assets/{1.vtt => ayvN3F.vtt} (50%) diff --git a/files/assets/WEbe6j.vtt b/files/assets/WEbe6j.vtt new file mode 100644 index 000000000..0759d21d4 --- /dev/null +++ b/files/assets/WEbe6j.vtt @@ -0,0 +1,3272 @@ +WEBVTT + +00:02:43.510 --> 00:02:45.637 +That's a big fella! Whoa! + +00:03:13.626 --> 00:03:15.669 +- Looks great. +- Thank you. + +00:03:16.003 --> 00:03:17.922 +Happy vacation, honey. + +00:03:19.340 --> 00:03:21.967 +Manchurian tung oil! +Where did you get this? + +00:03:22.301 --> 00:03:23.969 +Helen got it for me in Oslo. + +00:03:24.053 --> 00:03:27.806 +There's enough here +to do the whole table and the bureau. + +00:03:30.267 --> 00:03:32.186 +I wonder what this could be. + +00:03:32.269 --> 00:03:34.647 +Oh, honey, you got it. Thank you. + +00:03:34.730 --> 00:03:36.941 +Enough to do the entire guest room. + +00:03:37.024 --> 00:03:39.401 +I'm so glad we're spending +our vacation at home. + +00:03:39.485 --> 00:03:42.363 +- I'm gonna get started now. +- Where are you going? + +00:03:46.408 --> 00:03:48.536 +- I'll get it. +- Be my guest. + +00:03:53.249 --> 00:03:55.501 +- Maybe you should get it. +- I'll go. + +00:04:01.882 --> 00:04:03.133 +Oh, no! + +00:04:09.058 --> 00:04:10.226 +Jane. + +00:04:12.270 --> 00:04:14.188 +It's your turn, honey. + +00:04:27.034 --> 00:04:29.162 +- Good luck, honey. +- Thanks. + +00:04:31.372 --> 00:04:34.458 +Hi, Barbara. I'm glad I caught you. +Heard you were on vacation. + +00:04:34.542 --> 00:04:36.043 +That's right. Complete vacation. + +00:04:36.127 --> 00:04:37.920 +Today I'm $260,000! + +00:04:40.006 --> 00:04:42.967 +- It's 6:45 in the morning. +- This offer is real. + +00:04:43.050 --> 00:04:46.470 +From a man in New York City +who only saw a photograph. + +00:04:46.554 --> 00:04:49.307 +Jane, don't send people photos +of our house. + +00:04:49.390 --> 00:04:53.644 +He wants to bring the wife and family +here for some peace and quiet. + +00:04:53.728 --> 00:04:55.521 +That's what we're looking for. + +00:04:55.605 --> 00:05:00.028 +This house is too big for you. +It ought to be for a couple with kids. + +00:05:01.821 --> 00:05:05.158 +I didn't mean anything. +But this house is too big. + +00:05:05.575 --> 00:05:09.078 +- I'll see you in a few weeks. Okay? +- Think about it. + +00:05:22.592 --> 00:05:24.886 +I was telling Barbara about this offer +on the house... + +00:05:24.969 --> 00:05:26.012 +No, Jane. + +00:05:33.978 --> 00:05:35.897 +Come with me to the store. + +00:05:35.980 --> 00:05:39.234 +- What for? +- I need a new brush for the tung oil. + +00:05:39.692 --> 00:05:43.613 +- And I want to get a part for the model. +- Just run in, okay? + +00:06:02.133 --> 00:06:05.053 +Two weeks at home. The perfect vacation. + +00:06:05.595 --> 00:06:09.307 +Jane says we should sell the house +to someone with a family. + +00:06:09.391 --> 00:06:12.352 +I don't think it's any of Jane's business. + +00:06:12.894 --> 00:06:15.981 +Besides, we could try again +on this vacation. + +00:06:16.398 --> 00:06:18.483 +Really? What are you saying? + +00:06:35.709 --> 00:06:38.378 +- How are you doing, Ernie? +- Hi, how are you? + +00:06:47.598 --> 00:06:48.807 +Good morning, Adam. + +00:06:48.891 --> 00:06:51.476 +- Need a haircut before your vacation? +- No, thanks, Bill. + +00:06:51.560 --> 00:06:53.228 +- How's the model coming? +- Great. + +00:06:53.312 --> 00:06:57.483 +You know, Bozman built that foundation +in 1835. His grandson... + +00:07:07.910 --> 00:07:10.913 +He's got hair down +to his goddamn shoulders. + +00:07:11.413 --> 00:07:14.208 +He says to me, "Just trim it a little." + +00:07:14.625 --> 00:07:17.920 +- I took the scissors to him so fast... +- See you later. + +00:07:32.309 --> 00:07:35.979 +- This will be great. +- Wouldn't you rather go to Jamaica? + +00:07:36.480 --> 00:07:39.777 +- No way. There's no place like home. +- Look out for that... + +00:08:24.822 --> 00:08:27.158 +Perfect start to our vacation. + +00:08:27.324 --> 00:08:29.910 +You'll feel better when you're dry. + +00:08:31.873 --> 00:08:34.625 +That fire wasn't burning when we left. + +00:08:35.710 --> 00:08:39.005 +- How's your arm? +- I don't know. It feels frozen. + +00:08:56.397 --> 00:08:59.192 +I'll make some coffee +and you get wood for the fire. + +00:08:59.275 --> 00:09:02.069 +Maybe we should take things extra slow. + +00:09:02.153 --> 00:09:04.947 +Do you remember how +we got back up here? + +00:09:06.866 --> 00:09:10.286 +I'm going back to that bridge +and retrace our steps. + +00:09:25.094 --> 00:09:26.846 +- You saved my... +- Two hours! + +00:09:26.930 --> 00:09:30.350 +- You won't believe... What? +- That's how long you were gone. + +00:09:31.601 --> 00:09:34.437 +- What is going on? +- I have to show you something. + +00:09:35.980 --> 00:09:37.148 +Look. + +00:09:45.114 --> 00:09:46.616 +There's that. + +00:09:47.116 --> 00:09:48.827 +And there's that. + +00:09:56.417 --> 00:09:59.712 +- "Handbook for the Recently Diseased." +- Deceased. + +00:10:02.298 --> 00:10:03.633 +Deceased. + +00:10:03.883 --> 00:10:07.512 +I don't know where it came from. +Look at the publisher. + +00:10:11.516 --> 00:10:14.477 +"Handbook for +the Recently Deceased Press." + +00:10:14.978 --> 00:10:18.400 +You know what? +I don't think we survived the crash. + +00:10:22.821 --> 00:10:24.239 +I hate this. + +00:10:24.322 --> 00:10:26.491 +Can you give me the basics? + +00:10:27.450 --> 00:10:30.453 +This book isn't arranged that way. +What do you want to know? + +00:10:30.537 --> 00:10:33.957 +Why did you disappear +when you stepped off the porch? + +00:10:34.040 --> 00:10:36.585 +Are we halfway to heaven +or halfway to hell? + +00:10:36.668 --> 00:10:38.670 +How long will this last? + +00:10:38.753 --> 00:10:41.047 +I don't see anything about heaven or hell. + +00:10:41.131 --> 00:10:44.092 +This book reads like stereo instructions. +Listen. + +00:10:44.176 --> 00:10:46.136 +"Geographical and Temporal Perimeters. + +00:10:46.219 --> 00:10:49.848 +"Functional perimeters vary from +manifestation to manifestation." + +00:10:51.433 --> 00:10:53.643 +This is going to take some time. + +00:11:16.960 --> 00:11:19.755 +Damn sandworms. Thirteen percent, huh? + +00:11:20.130 --> 00:11:23.467 +I better find a job. +Let's see. Business section. + +00:11:29.556 --> 00:11:32.184 +What do we got here? The Maitlands. + +00:11:34.186 --> 00:11:37.064 +Cute couple. Look nice and stupid, too. + +00:11:44.279 --> 00:11:46.907 +I wish I had a better view +of the cemetery from here. + +00:11:46.990 --> 00:11:49.993 +I can't tell which is +the best placement for us. + +00:11:55.415 --> 00:11:56.875 +Cabin fever? + +00:11:57.292 --> 00:11:59.253 +I can't clean anything properly. + +00:11:59.336 --> 00:12:02.130 +The vacuum's in the garage +and we can't leave the house. + +00:12:02.214 --> 00:12:05.761 +Why don't they tell us something? +Where are the other dead people? + +00:12:05.845 --> 00:12:07.972 +Why is it just you and me? + +00:12:08.722 --> 00:12:10.599 +Maybe this is heaven. + +00:12:11.308 --> 00:12:14.061 +In heaven there wouldn't be dust +on everything. + +00:12:22.695 --> 00:12:23.988 +It's Jane. + +00:12:27.825 --> 00:12:29.577 +- What's she doing here? +- I don't know. + +00:12:29.660 --> 00:12:31.537 +Jane, up here. Jane! + +00:12:37.877 --> 00:12:39.962 +She can't see you, right? + +00:12:42.590 --> 00:12:46.552 +In the book, rule number two: +"The living usually won't see the dead." + +00:12:48.179 --> 00:12:50.931 +- Won't or can't? +- It just says "won't." + +00:12:51.015 --> 00:12:54.977 +God, this book is so stupid! +I can't understand anything in it. + +00:12:56.270 --> 00:12:57.815 +Barb, honey... + +00:12:58.524 --> 00:13:00.067 +...we're dead. + +00:13:00.359 --> 00:13:03.696 +I don't think we have much +to worry about anymore. + +00:13:36.479 --> 00:13:39.482 +This is great! +Just what the doctor ordered. + +00:13:45.696 --> 00:13:47.198 +Sorry, ma'am. + +00:13:49.283 --> 00:13:51.412 +Delia Deetz, welcome home. + +00:13:52.872 --> 00:13:54.165 +Charles! + +00:13:54.666 --> 00:13:59.254 +It's okay, there's no damage. See? +Good, sturdy, country craftsmanship. + +00:13:59.796 --> 00:14:03.925 +Look at that kitchen. You'll finally +be able to cook a decent meal. + +00:14:06.803 --> 00:14:08.513 +Come and have a look. + +00:14:17.564 --> 00:14:20.567 +A little gasoline. Blowtorch. No problem. + +00:14:21.734 --> 00:14:23.736 +Excuse me. Here we go. + +00:14:34.998 --> 00:14:37.333 +We'll have to rip out all the plumbing. + +00:14:37.417 --> 00:14:40.545 +Other than that, it's perfect. Just perfect. + +00:14:41.671 --> 00:14:44.634 +- What do you think, honey? +- Delia hates it. + +00:14:48.305 --> 00:14:49.764 +I could live here. + +00:14:50.015 --> 00:14:51.683 +Careful! That's my sculpture. + +00:14:51.766 --> 00:14:54.978 +I don't mean "my" as in "I bought it." +I mean I made it. + +00:14:57.022 --> 00:14:58.857 +Put it on the table. + +00:15:07.199 --> 00:15:10.285 +Ten minutes. I'm already perfectly at ease. + +00:15:11.203 --> 00:15:12.621 +It's perfect. + +00:15:12.704 --> 00:15:13.872 +Help! + +00:15:14.789 --> 00:15:16.166 +It's Otho. + +00:15:16.708 --> 00:15:19.669 +Otho, why don't you come +in the front door? + +00:15:20.045 --> 00:15:21.463 +It's bad luck. + +00:15:21.546 --> 00:15:24.466 +You left the city for me. I am so happy. + +00:15:24.841 --> 00:15:26.593 +Of course you are. + +00:15:29.262 --> 00:15:31.431 +Let's get one thing straight. + +00:15:31.515 --> 00:15:35.477 +We're here to enjoy the country setting, +not to trash the place! + +00:15:35.560 --> 00:15:38.190 +Charles, you're lucky +the yuppies are buying condos... + +00:15:38.273 --> 00:15:42.402 +...so you can afford what I'm going +to have to do to this place. + +00:15:42.694 --> 00:15:46.949 +I'm here to relax and clip coupons, +and, damn it, I mean to do it. + +00:15:47.199 --> 00:15:49.826 +Then go do it quietly, dear, +and let Otho and me think. + +00:15:49.910 --> 00:15:52.037 +Is the rest of the house as bad as this? + +00:15:52.120 --> 00:15:53.997 +Is this a punishment? + +00:15:55.207 --> 00:15:56.917 +What are we going to do? + +00:15:57.793 --> 00:16:00.128 +We're not completely helpless. + +00:16:00.420 --> 00:16:04.633 +I've been reading that book and there's +a word for people in our situation. + +00:16:05.175 --> 00:16:06.426 +Ghosts! + +00:16:07.803 --> 00:16:10.222 +Let's get this show on the road. + +00:16:13.475 --> 00:16:15.853 +We're dealing with +negative entertainment potential. + +00:16:15.936 --> 00:16:18.772 +There's absolutely no organic flow through. + +00:16:18.856 --> 00:16:21.775 +I noticed that, too. +It's like a giant ant farm. + +00:16:24.903 --> 00:16:27.406 +- What? +- I thought I saw something. + +00:16:38.878 --> 00:16:40.713 +You've read my mind. + +00:16:41.380 --> 00:16:44.300 +- I did? +- So few clients are able to read my mind. + +00:16:44.383 --> 00:16:46.969 +They're not open to the experience. + +00:16:55.102 --> 00:16:56.353 +My God! + +00:16:57.062 --> 00:17:01.192 +We just have to pray the other closets +are bigger than this one. + +00:17:01.525 --> 00:17:02.693 +Look! + +00:17:03.694 --> 00:17:05.446 +Ozzie and Harriet. + +00:17:08.032 --> 00:17:09.783 +- What happened to these people? +- They died. + +00:17:09.867 --> 00:17:11.952 +Look, an indoor outhouse. + +00:17:17.208 --> 00:17:20.377 +- Viridian. +- Viridian. Why do I know that name? + +00:17:20.878 --> 00:17:22.296 +Blue-green! + +00:17:23.047 --> 00:17:25.051 +Hydrated chromic oxide. + +00:17:25.426 --> 00:17:28.930 +Remember, I'm schooled in chemistry. +I was a hair analyst. + +00:17:29.013 --> 00:17:30.598 +- What? +- Briefly. + +00:17:36.562 --> 00:17:38.689 +Deliver me from L.L. Bean. + +00:17:41.108 --> 00:17:44.737 +I know what you two are up to and +you're not going to get away with it! + +00:17:44.820 --> 00:17:46.447 +This is not working out. + +00:17:46.531 --> 00:17:50.576 +I will not stop living and breathing art +just because you need to relax. + +00:17:51.202 --> 00:17:53.829 +I'm here with you. I'll live with you +in this hellhole. + +00:17:53.913 --> 00:17:58.668 +But I must express myself. If I can't +gut this house and make it my own... + +00:17:59.252 --> 00:18:02.338 +...I will go insane +and I will take you with me! + +00:18:04.549 --> 00:18:08.177 +Yeah. Well, maybe the house +could use a little remodeling. + +00:18:08.261 --> 00:18:11.681 +But why don't you just leave +this room alone, okay? + +00:18:13.015 --> 00:18:13.933 +Okay. + +00:18:19.816 --> 00:18:21.234 +I'll get her. + +00:18:22.068 --> 00:18:22.944 +So? + +00:18:23.027 --> 00:18:27.699 +Once you cover the wallpaper, knock down +a few walls, this place might be livable. + +00:18:27.782 --> 00:18:30.577 +- What's on the third floor? +- Attic space. + +00:18:30.660 --> 00:18:33.079 +I forgot to lock the attic door. + +00:18:40.837 --> 00:18:42.881 +- Did you feel something? +- When? + +00:18:52.098 --> 00:18:55.059 +- You don't have a key? +- Maybe Charles does. + +00:18:55.226 --> 00:18:59.522 +I have a feeling there's something +very interesting behind this door. + +00:18:59.606 --> 00:19:03.443 +Yeah, the ghosts of the people who died +in this house, and they want us out! + +00:19:03.526 --> 00:19:05.445 +Let's do them a favor. + +00:19:22.339 --> 00:19:24.341 +My God, that was close! + +00:19:26.218 --> 00:19:28.053 +I cannot watch this. + +00:19:28.720 --> 00:19:31.765 +What's the good of being a ghost +if you can't frighten people away? + +00:19:31.848 --> 00:19:34.476 +- Honey? +- No, I'm not putting up with this! + +00:19:44.569 --> 00:19:47.405 +- You don't know what's out there. +- I don't care. + +00:19:56.456 --> 00:19:57.749 +Barbara! + +00:19:58.333 --> 00:19:59.376 +Adam! + +00:20:00.919 --> 00:20:03.547 +Adam, help. I'm getting all yellow! + +00:20:44.423 --> 00:20:47.384 +We're trapped in this house +with those people. + +00:20:52.431 --> 00:20:56.268 +I can't believe we're eating Cantonese. +Is there no Szechwan up here? + +00:20:56.351 --> 00:20:59.815 +I plan to have a stroke from the amount +of MSG in this food. + +00:21:00.065 --> 00:21:04.945 +This is our first meal in this house, +so let's try to make it a pleasant one. + +00:21:06.238 --> 00:21:08.240 +Don't bait your mother. + +00:21:08.490 --> 00:21:12.119 +When we get settled, we'll build you +a darkroom in the basement. + +00:21:12.494 --> 00:21:14.747 +My whole life is a darkroom. + +00:21:15.497 --> 00:21:17.249 +One big dark room. + +00:21:19.168 --> 00:21:23.923 +You were miserable in New York City, +and you'll be miserable in the sticks. + +00:21:24.048 --> 00:21:25.925 +At least someone's life +hasn't been upheaved. + +00:21:26.008 --> 00:21:30.638 +I'm happy here. Those people in New York +don't know what they're missing. + +00:21:35.059 --> 00:21:37.811 +We could become The Summer Art Center +of New York. + +00:21:37.895 --> 00:21:40.773 +I could start sculpting again. +I'm only truly happy when I'm sculpting. + +00:21:40.856 --> 00:21:44.527 +That's a very good idea. +That'll be very time-consuming. + +00:21:45.069 --> 00:21:47.404 +First the house. +Otho and I have great plans. + +00:21:47.488 --> 00:21:49.490 +We should keep it the way it is. + +00:21:49.573 --> 00:21:50.950 +Good idea. + +00:21:56.123 --> 00:21:59.502 +The furniture truck is coming. +We must decide what goes and what stays. + +00:21:59.585 --> 00:22:02.588 +Everything goes, +along with whatever's in the attic. + +00:22:20.231 --> 00:22:21.524 +Careful. + +00:22:21.774 --> 00:22:25.528 +Tell me what you do and I'll tell you +why my husband will fire you. + +00:22:26.946 --> 00:22:29.532 +- Isn't there an index? +- No, nothing. + +00:22:31.784 --> 00:22:33.244 +What's this? + +00:22:39.292 --> 00:22:42.086 +Do you know where that's going? +Did anyone tell you where... + +00:22:42.169 --> 00:22:45.049 +Why are there only three sculptures? +There were four sculptures. + +00:22:45.133 --> 00:22:47.302 +Where's the fourth sculpture? + +00:22:47.385 --> 00:22:49.179 +What are you doing? + +00:22:54.559 --> 00:22:57.896 +"Betelgeuse, the bio-exorcist. +Troubled by the living? + +00:22:57.979 --> 00:23:00.523 +"Is death a problem and not the solution? +Unhappy with eternity? + +00:23:00.607 --> 00:23:03.776 +"Having difficulty adjusting? +Call Betelgeuse." + +00:23:07.155 --> 00:23:09.365 +There's no number or instructions? + +00:23:09.449 --> 00:23:12.535 +Nothing. The "bio-exorcist." I don't get it. + +00:23:16.998 --> 00:23:18.541 +Straight back. + +00:23:20.752 --> 00:23:23.755 +Why don't you take a break +for half an hour? + +00:23:44.611 --> 00:23:46.112 +Put that down! + +00:23:46.196 --> 00:23:48.073 +What the hell are you doing? + +00:23:48.156 --> 00:23:50.033 +- Listen to me! +- Jesus! + +00:23:51.701 --> 00:23:55.121 +Why are you doing this to me? +This is my art and it is dangerous. + +00:23:55.205 --> 00:23:57.541 +Do you think I want to die like this? + +00:24:12.055 --> 00:24:13.765 +Hi. How are you? + +00:24:22.732 --> 00:24:24.776 +That little girl saw us. + +00:24:25.277 --> 00:24:27.696 +- Nobody can see us. +- But she did. + +00:24:30.240 --> 00:24:32.995 +- What happened to the previous owners? +- They drowned. + +00:24:33.078 --> 00:24:35.998 +Yes, they were family. I was devastated. + +00:24:36.123 --> 00:24:38.500 +- Here, take that. +- Is this the key to the attic? + +00:24:38.584 --> 00:24:42.671 +That's a skeleton key that will open +any door. Give that to your father. + +00:24:43.255 --> 00:24:46.884 +You might mention I single-handedly +decorated that house. + +00:24:46.967 --> 00:24:50.762 +If he needs any advice in that arena +have him come see me. + +00:25:11.325 --> 00:25:13.410 +Don't worry. I locked the door. + +00:25:31.138 --> 00:25:35.434 +Having trouble with the living? +Tired of having your home violated? + +00:25:35.518 --> 00:25:37.436 +Want to get rid of them +pesky living critters? + +00:25:37.520 --> 00:25:41.482 +Well, come on down and see me, +the afterlife's leading bio-exorcist. + +00:25:41.565 --> 00:25:44.985 +Yes, sirree! I want to tell you, +I'll do anything! + +00:25:47.655 --> 00:25:51.742 +I'll scare 'em real bad. +I'll do anything to get your business. + +00:25:51.951 --> 00:25:54.703 +Hell! I'll possess myself if I gotta! + +00:25:55.162 --> 00:25:58.082 +Yo! I got demons runnin' all through me. + +00:25:58.707 --> 00:26:00.668 +Come on down and see it. + +00:26:00.751 --> 00:26:03.963 +If you act now, you get a free +demon possession with every exorcism. + +00:26:04.046 --> 00:26:06.006 +You can't beat that, can you? + +00:26:06.090 --> 00:26:10.970 +Bring the little partners. We've got plenty +of snakes for them to play with. + +00:26:11.554 --> 00:26:15.641 +Say it once, say it twice, +third time's a charm. And remember... + +00:26:15.724 --> 00:26:19.146 +"I'll eat anything you want me to eat. +Swallow anything you want me to swallow. + +00:26:19.230 --> 00:26:21.858 +"So, come on down, I'll chew on the dog." + +00:26:50.386 --> 00:26:54.724 +We need some help. I read something +in this book about emergencies. + +00:26:55.558 --> 00:26:58.811 +Here it is. +"In case of emergency, draw a door." + +00:27:03.691 --> 00:27:07.612 +"Draw a door"? I don't know why +we keep looking in that stupid book. + +00:27:10.364 --> 00:27:12.994 +Maybe we should try that Beetle guy. + +00:27:28.468 --> 00:27:31.554 +You didn't actually think +that would work, did you? + +00:27:34.224 --> 00:27:35.975 +"Knock three times." + +00:28:38.290 --> 00:28:39.583 +Birdies! + +00:28:48.383 --> 00:28:49.634 +Get it! + +00:28:50.468 --> 00:28:51.511 +Dad? + +00:28:51.928 --> 00:28:55.181 +- Can't you see I'm relaxing? +- I want to tell you what I saw. + +00:28:55.265 --> 00:28:59.021 +What is the point of my coming here +if you people won't let me relax? + +00:28:59.104 --> 00:29:01.023 +Pumpkin, sweetheart... + +00:29:02.149 --> 00:29:04.109 +...go help your mother. + +00:29:04.193 --> 00:29:07.237 +Maybe you can relax in a haunted house, +but I can't. + +00:29:12.618 --> 00:29:14.411 +Hmm, nice building. + +00:29:14.536 --> 00:29:16.580 +Bad roof. Good parking. + +00:29:48.487 --> 00:29:50.489 +- Adam? +- This way, honey. + +00:30:02.836 --> 00:30:04.838 +You don't have an appointment. + +00:30:04.922 --> 00:30:07.132 +- We didn't know how to make one. +- Appointment for what? + +00:30:07.216 --> 00:30:09.218 +- What do you want? +- Help? + +00:30:09.301 --> 00:30:13.264 +Already? Just bit the big one +two months ago and you want help. + +00:30:13.347 --> 00:30:15.599 +What does that have to do with anything? + +00:30:15.683 --> 00:30:18.811 +You'll use up all your help vouchers: D-90s. + +00:30:19.562 --> 00:30:22.648 +You spend 125 years on earth +in that house... + +00:30:23.148 --> 00:30:27.444 +...during which you get only three class-one +D-90 intercessions with Juno. + +00:30:27.528 --> 00:30:30.447 +You probably haven't read through +the manual completely yet. + +00:30:30.531 --> 00:30:33.492 +You'll have to wait if you don't have +an appointment. + +00:30:33.576 --> 00:30:37.162 +- An appointment with whom? +- For Juno, your caseworker. + +00:30:41.250 --> 00:30:43.544 +Number 54,000,601. Ferndock! + +00:31:50.448 --> 00:31:52.951 +- Want a cigarette? +- No, thank you. + +00:31:54.244 --> 00:31:56.538 +I'm trying to cut down myself. + +00:32:13.721 --> 00:32:16.599 +Adam, is this what happens when you die? + +00:32:17.559 --> 00:32:19.811 +This is what happens when you die. + +00:32:19.894 --> 00:32:23.147 +That is what happens when he dies. +And that is what happens when they die. + +00:32:23.231 --> 00:32:26.276 +It's all very personal. +I'll tell you something. + +00:32:26.359 --> 00:32:30.530 +If I knew then what I know now, +I wouldn't have had my little accident. + +00:32:36.204 --> 00:32:38.123 +Maitland. Party of two. + +00:32:38.206 --> 00:32:40.792 +Take the handbook +and go to the sixth door. + +00:32:40.876 --> 00:32:43.044 +Oh, we forgot our handbook. + +00:32:47.382 --> 00:32:48.383 +Come on. + +00:32:54.222 --> 00:32:57.767 +All new arrivals, +report to waiting room number eight. + +00:33:00.270 --> 00:33:02.981 +Flight 409 is arriving at gate three. + +00:33:04.107 --> 00:33:06.651 +How do I look? +There are no mirrors on this side. + +00:33:06.735 --> 00:33:08.612 +- You look fine. +- Fine. + +00:33:09.070 --> 00:33:11.698 +Thanks. I've been feeling a little flat. + +00:33:16.369 --> 00:33:19.372 +Will the Peterson party +report to door number nine. + +00:33:20.916 --> 00:33:23.835 +Peterson party, please report +to door number nine. + +00:33:25.378 --> 00:33:28.508 +All new arrivals, +report to waiting room number eight. + +00:33:35.140 --> 00:33:37.643 +125 years. I can't believe this. + +00:33:38.352 --> 00:33:40.604 +I can't believe they didn't tell us. + +00:33:43.482 --> 00:33:45.484 +Oh, Adam, what is this? + +00:33:49.821 --> 00:33:52.074 +That's the Lost Souls' Room. + +00:33:52.741 --> 00:33:55.536 +A room for ghosts +that have been exorcised. + +00:33:56.662 --> 00:33:58.121 +Poor devils. + +00:33:58.330 --> 00:34:00.457 +That's death for the dead. + +00:34:01.667 --> 00:34:03.752 +It's all in the handbook. + +00:34:03.961 --> 00:34:05.420 +Keep moving. + +00:34:10.217 --> 00:34:11.385 +Five. + +00:34:12.970 --> 00:34:14.972 +This is the sixth door. + +00:34:21.855 --> 00:34:24.984 +Boy, this place just gets weirder +and weirder. + +00:34:36.078 --> 00:34:37.496 +We're home! + +00:34:38.455 --> 00:34:41.542 +Look at this place! Everything's different. + +00:34:43.419 --> 00:34:45.504 +All our furniture's gone. + +00:34:46.171 --> 00:34:48.799 +How long do you suppose +we were waiting there? + +00:34:48.883 --> 00:34:50.384 +Three months. + +00:34:51.552 --> 00:34:54.555 +I'd almost given up on you. +I was about to leave. + +00:34:54.638 --> 00:34:56.682 +I do have other clients. + +00:34:57.224 --> 00:34:59.810 +- Are you Juno, our caseworker? +- Yes. + +00:34:59.894 --> 00:35:02.980 +I evaluate individual cases and determine... + +00:35:03.230 --> 00:35:06.358 +...if help is needed, deserved and available. + +00:35:06.567 --> 00:35:07.526 +Are you available? + +00:35:07.610 --> 00:35:08.652 +No. + +00:35:09.862 --> 00:35:12.408 +- What's wrong? +- We're very unhappy. + +00:35:13.117 --> 00:35:15.536 +What did you expect? You're dead! + +00:35:15.620 --> 00:35:19.874 +We want to get rid of the people here. +We worked hard on this house. + +00:35:19.957 --> 00:35:22.960 +We probably wouldn't mind sharing +the house with people who were... + +00:35:23.044 --> 00:35:25.421 +- More like you used to be. +- Yes. + +00:35:25.588 --> 00:35:27.215 +But these people! + +00:35:29.258 --> 00:35:31.260 +Things seem quiet here. + +00:35:32.386 --> 00:35:35.473 +You should thank God +you didn't die in Italy. + +00:35:35.932 --> 00:35:37.350 +The Deetzes. + +00:35:37.516 --> 00:35:40.645 +- Have you been studying the manual? +- We tried. + +00:35:41.604 --> 00:35:45.441 +The intermediate interface chapter +on haunting says it all. + +00:35:45.608 --> 00:35:48.569 +Get them out yourselves! It's your house. + +00:35:49.737 --> 00:35:52.490 +Haunted houses aren't easy to come by. + +00:35:52.573 --> 00:35:54.992 +- We don't quite get it. +- I heard. + +00:35:55.076 --> 00:35:56.911 +Tore your faces off. + +00:35:57.078 --> 00:36:01.207 +It's useless to pull off your heads +in front of people who can't see you. + +00:36:01.290 --> 00:36:03.709 +- We should start simply? +- Start simply. + +00:36:03.793 --> 00:36:06.714 +Do what you know. +Use your talents. Practice. + +00:36:08.508 --> 00:36:12.303 +You should have been studying +those lessons since day one. + +00:36:14.430 --> 00:36:16.015 +I've got to go. + +00:36:16.140 --> 00:36:18.643 +What about that guy in the flyer, Betel... + +00:36:19.936 --> 00:36:23.231 +Don't even say his name. +You don't want his help. + +00:36:24.357 --> 00:36:25.275 +We might. + +00:36:25.358 --> 00:36:28.653 +No, you don't. +He does not work well with others. + +00:36:30.196 --> 00:36:31.906 +What do you mean? + +00:36:36.077 --> 00:36:38.037 +I didn't want to bring it up. + +00:36:38.121 --> 00:36:42.083 +But rather than have you make +another mistake, I'll tell you. + +00:36:43.293 --> 00:36:45.128 +He was my assistant. + +00:36:45.545 --> 00:36:48.715 +But he was a troublemaker. +He went out on his own... + +00:36:48.798 --> 00:36:51.175 +...as a freelance bio-exorcist. + +00:36:52.176 --> 00:36:56.139 +Claimed he could get rid of the living. +Got into more trouble. + +00:37:00.103 --> 00:37:03.857 +I believe he's been sleazing +around your cemetery lately. + +00:37:05.817 --> 00:37:08.570 +The only way he can be brought back... + +00:37:08.737 --> 00:37:11.489 +...is by calling his name three times. + +00:37:12.490 --> 00:37:14.576 +But I strongly suggest... + +00:37:14.993 --> 00:37:17.829 +...that you remove the Deetzes yourselves. + +00:37:18.538 --> 00:37:19.915 +How do we contact you... + +00:37:19.998 --> 00:37:22.042 +...if we need you again? + +00:37:31.843 --> 00:37:34.554 +Oh, Adam, that guy's in our cemetery. + +00:37:35.263 --> 00:37:38.892 +She's right. We just keep this simple. +We can do this. + +00:38:02.960 --> 00:38:04.795 +Hey, you, come here! + +00:38:05.587 --> 00:38:06.838 +Hungry? + +00:38:07.589 --> 00:38:09.675 +Come on. Hey, come here. + +00:38:10.926 --> 00:38:13.887 +I got something good for you. +Come on over. + +00:38:13.971 --> 00:38:16.848 +We'll have a little bite, something to nosh. + +00:38:18.308 --> 00:38:20.143 +- Come here! +- Help me! + +00:38:24.940 --> 00:38:29.236 +Maxie, haven't I always made you money? +That's the only real question. + +00:38:29.319 --> 00:38:33.824 +Nobody made me money like you. +You were a demon until your nerves went. + +00:38:34.241 --> 00:38:35.951 +It's just that... + +00:38:36.577 --> 00:38:39.913 +...Winter River, Connecticut is, +if you'll forgive me, nowhere. + +00:38:39.997 --> 00:38:43.166 +Why would I want to invest that kind +of money in an old building... + +00:38:43.250 --> 00:38:46.922 +...way the hell up there! +- It's not a building. That's the beauty. + +00:38:47.006 --> 00:38:50.968 +The people don't know the value of their +property. I can buy the whole town. + +00:38:51.051 --> 00:38:53.929 +Then we own a whole town +in the middle of nowhere. + +00:38:54.388 --> 00:38:55.890 +Come and see. + +00:38:56.015 --> 00:38:57.683 +And bring Sarah. + +00:38:58.434 --> 00:39:02.104 +All right, Charles. +It's just that I am kind of busy here. + +00:39:02.187 --> 00:39:03.731 +Just a minute. + +00:39:04.899 --> 00:39:08.152 +Listen. Enough of this talk +about visiting, okay? I gotta go. + +00:39:08.235 --> 00:39:10.821 +You take it easy up there, big fellow. + +00:39:10.905 --> 00:39:13.073 +- Good-bye. +- Max, wait, wait. + +00:39:18.037 --> 00:39:18.954 +Putz. + +00:39:39.602 --> 00:39:43.689 +Lydia, is Connecticut so boring? +I had Maxie Dean on the phone. + +00:39:43.981 --> 00:39:47.818 +Dad's found a way of making money +while I relax, so would you scram? + +00:39:49.779 --> 00:39:53.824 +Your mother will kill you when she sees +you cut holes in her $300 sheets. + +00:39:56.744 --> 00:40:00.248 +This is so corny. Is this what +we've been reduced to? Sheets? + +00:40:00.331 --> 00:40:02.250 +Think of them as death shrouds. + +00:40:02.333 --> 00:40:04.877 +And the moaning is important. +Really moan! + +00:40:23.229 --> 00:40:25.731 +God, how can he stand that woman? + +00:40:32.321 --> 00:40:35.285 +Cut it out! I'm a child, for God's sakes. + +00:40:43.835 --> 00:40:47.255 +- I feel so stupid. +- It's not stupid. We're ghosts! + +00:40:47.839 --> 00:40:51.050 +Do you want to spend the next 125 years +having breakfast with this woman? + +00:40:51.134 --> 00:40:52.594 +Moan louder. + +00:41:00.977 --> 00:41:02.270 +Oh, God! + +00:41:10.320 --> 00:41:12.405 +Sick. Sexual perversion. + +00:41:12.655 --> 00:41:15.825 +Do that weird sexual stuff +in your own bedroom. + +00:41:22.040 --> 00:41:23.499 +Ah, no feet. + +00:41:35.764 --> 00:41:38.475 +Are you the guys hiding in the attic? + +00:41:38.558 --> 00:41:40.060 +We're ghosts! + +00:41:41.561 --> 00:41:44.356 +- What do you look like under there? +- Aren't you scared? + +00:41:44.439 --> 00:41:47.734 +I'm not scared of sheets. +Are you gross under there? + +00:41:47.817 --> 00:41:50.445 +Are you Night of the Living Dead +under there? + +00:41:50.528 --> 00:41:52.864 +Like all bloody veins and pus? + +00:41:52.948 --> 00:41:56.117 +- "Night of the," what? +- "Living Dead." It's a movie. + +00:41:56.201 --> 00:41:59.329 +If I had seen a ghost at your age, +I would have been scared out of my wits. + +00:41:59.412 --> 00:42:02.499 +You're not gross. +Why are you wearing sheets? + +00:42:03.250 --> 00:42:04.876 +We're practicing. + +00:42:04.960 --> 00:42:08.713 +- You can see us without the sheets? +- Of course I can see you. + +00:42:08.797 --> 00:42:11.216 +How can you see us and nobody else can? + +00:42:12.551 --> 00:42:16.137 +I read through that +Handbook for the Recently Deceased. + +00:42:16.221 --> 00:42:19.810 +It says, "Live people ignore +the strange and unusual." + +00:42:21.687 --> 00:42:24.106 +I myself am strange and unusual. + +00:42:25.983 --> 00:42:27.651 +You look normal. + +00:42:29.111 --> 00:42:31.154 +- You read our book? +- Yes. + +00:42:31.405 --> 00:42:34.449 +- You could follow it? +- Yes. Why were you in Delia's bedroom? + +00:42:34.533 --> 00:42:37.077 +- Trying to scare your mother. +- Stepmother. + +00:42:37.244 --> 00:42:40.872 +You can't scare her. +She's sleeping with Prince Valium. + +00:42:44.167 --> 00:42:45.586 +You did this? + +00:42:45.669 --> 00:42:48.255 +You carved these houses and things? + +00:42:49.715 --> 00:42:52.092 +And this used to be your house. + +00:42:52.551 --> 00:42:54.761 +Why do you want to scare everybody? + +00:42:54.845 --> 00:42:57.764 +We wanted to frighten you +so you would move out. + +00:42:59.641 --> 00:43:01.685 +You don't know the Deetzes. + +00:43:01.768 --> 00:43:05.731 +My father bought this place. +He never walks away from equity. + +00:43:05.856 --> 00:43:09.610 +- Why don't you leave? +- We haven't left since the funeral. + +00:43:10.903 --> 00:43:12.195 +Funeral! + +00:43:12.738 --> 00:43:15.117 +God! You guys really are dead. + +00:43:17.953 --> 00:43:19.622 +This is amazing. + +00:43:21.540 --> 00:43:23.083 +- I better go. +- Wait. + +00:43:23.167 --> 00:43:27.755 +- Don't tell your parents we're here. +- Unless it will frighten them away. + +00:43:27.880 --> 00:43:30.132 +Tell them we are horrible... + +00:43:30.341 --> 00:43:32.635 +...desperate, ghoulish creatures +who will stop at nothing... + +00:43:32.718 --> 00:43:34.803 +...to get our house back. + +00:43:37.097 --> 00:43:41.352 +What if this is a dream? Can you do +any tricks to prove I'm not dreaming? + +00:43:45.981 --> 00:43:50.319 +If you are real ghosts, you better get +another routine because those sheets... + +00:43:50.402 --> 00:43:52.196 +...they don't work. + +00:44:01.747 --> 00:44:02.998 +Ghosts. + +00:44:03.082 --> 00:44:05.626 +You're telling me we have ghosts +in this house. + +00:44:05.709 --> 00:44:08.005 +Those pictures are of ghosts. + +00:44:08.339 --> 00:44:09.590 +Ghosts! + +00:44:10.216 --> 00:44:13.970 +Lydia, I am giving a dinner party +tonight for seven people. + +00:44:14.053 --> 00:44:17.598 +My agent, Bernard, is bringing a woman +who writes for Art in America. + +00:44:17.682 --> 00:44:21.477 +In fact, no one dining here +has not been in Vanity Fair except you. + +00:44:22.103 --> 00:44:24.105 +I told them you were too mean to be afraid. + +00:44:24.188 --> 00:44:26.232 +Don't you dare speak to others about me! + +00:44:26.315 --> 00:44:30.403 +Being embarrassed in front of the few +people who will set foot in here scares me. + +00:44:30.486 --> 00:44:32.863 +So let's play family just for tonight. + +00:44:38.661 --> 00:44:40.830 +Lydia's trying, but they don't believe her. + +00:44:40.913 --> 00:44:42.623 +She's got photos. + +00:44:43.332 --> 00:44:45.876 +Adam, you have a photo of Bigfoot. + +00:44:46.544 --> 00:44:49.463 +My photo of Bigfoot is a different story. + +00:44:49.797 --> 00:44:54.343 +We've got to get some help. We've got +to contact Betelmeyer or something. + +00:45:08.067 --> 00:45:09.235 +Look. + +00:45:13.531 --> 00:45:15.408 +It's him. Betelgeuse. + +00:45:17.535 --> 00:45:18.703 +Betelgeuse. + +00:45:20.705 --> 00:45:22.707 +Go ahead, Barbara, say it. + +00:45:23.833 --> 00:45:25.251 +Betelgeuse! + +00:45:29.380 --> 00:45:30.924 +What happened? + +00:45:32.050 --> 00:45:34.219 +I think we're in the model. + +00:45:37.680 --> 00:45:39.182 +Look at that. + +00:46:02.374 --> 00:46:04.292 +Where is he? What do we do? + +00:46:08.505 --> 00:46:10.257 +Looks like we dig. + +00:46:40.787 --> 00:46:42.455 +It's about time! + +00:46:50.924 --> 00:46:54.177 +- I say we open it. +- Maybe we should knock first. + +00:47:12.112 --> 00:47:13.572 +Adam. Babs. + +00:47:21.580 --> 00:47:25.876 +You can pick 'em! Is this +a solid relationship? Do I have a shot? + +00:47:26.084 --> 00:47:29.087 +- Excuse me. +- Sure. Am I overstepping my bounds? + +00:47:29.171 --> 00:47:33.634 +It's beautiful! You picked me. +You didn't have to, but you picked me. + +00:47:33.884 --> 00:47:36.803 +It makes me want to kiss you guys! +Come on, give me one. + +00:47:36.887 --> 00:47:38.639 +I beg your pardon! + +00:47:38.972 --> 00:47:40.893 +Let's get down to business. + +00:47:40.976 --> 00:47:43.729 +I've got a card here somewhere. +Here. Who do I have to kill? + +00:47:43.812 --> 00:47:45.856 +- Hold that for me. +- Whoa! + +00:47:47.107 --> 00:47:49.485 +- There you go. +- You don't have to kill anybody! + +00:47:49.568 --> 00:47:54.323 +Possession! Learn to throw your voice. +Fool your friends. Fun at parties. + +00:47:54.406 --> 00:47:57.826 +No. We just want to get some people +out of our house. + +00:47:57.910 --> 00:48:02.081 +I understand. In order to do that, +I'll have to get to know you. + +00:48:02.373 --> 00:48:05.000 +We've got to get closer. +Move in with you for a while. + +00:48:05.084 --> 00:48:08.212 +Get to be real pals. +You know what I'm saying? + +00:48:08.379 --> 00:48:10.297 +Save that guy for later. + +00:48:10.381 --> 00:48:12.675 +My wife and I have some questions. + +00:48:12.758 --> 00:48:14.760 +Sure, go ahead. Shoot. + +00:48:15.052 --> 00:48:17.096 +What are your qualifications? + +00:48:17.179 --> 00:48:21.100 +Well, I attended Juilliard. I'm a graduate +of Harvard Business School. + +00:48:21.183 --> 00:48:24.728 +I travel extensively. +I lived through the Black Plague. + +00:48:24.812 --> 00:48:27.690 +I've seen The Exorcist about 167 times... + +00:48:27.773 --> 00:48:31.235 +...and it keeps getting funnier +every time I see it! + +00:48:31.610 --> 00:48:34.240 +Not to mention the fact +that you're talking to a dead guy! + +00:48:34.323 --> 00:48:37.493 +Now what do you think? +You think I'm qualified? + +00:48:38.578 --> 00:48:40.288 +Can you be scary? + +00:48:40.580 --> 00:48:43.916 +Oh! I know what you're asking me. +Can I be scary? + +00:48:45.876 --> 00:48:48.004 +What do you think of this? + +00:48:48.421 --> 00:48:49.880 +You like it? + +00:48:50.965 --> 00:48:54.468 +- Will you excuse us, please? +- Sure. Talk amongst yourselves. + +00:48:54.552 --> 00:48:57.722 +- Let's go. +- I know, but he can be useful later. + +00:48:57.930 --> 00:49:00.933 +- We can work something ourselves. +- Oh, yeah! + +00:49:01.976 --> 00:49:03.686 +- Excuse me! +- What? + +00:49:03.811 --> 00:49:05.605 +We are leaving now. + +00:49:05.813 --> 00:49:07.315 +Don't go yet. + +00:49:07.982 --> 00:49:12.153 +Come on, we're simpatico. +Look at us. We shop at the same store. + +00:49:12.987 --> 00:49:14.488 +Hey, hermano. + +00:49:14.989 --> 00:49:16.782 +Yeah, there you go. + +00:49:18.576 --> 00:49:20.661 +We're like peas in a pod. + +00:49:20.995 --> 00:49:25.249 +You want someone out of the house. +I want to get someone out of your house. + +00:49:25.333 --> 00:49:28.671 +Look! You've been to Saturn. +I've been to Saturn! + +00:49:29.005 --> 00:49:30.715 +Whoa. Sandworms. + +00:49:31.549 --> 00:49:34.427 +You hate 'em, right? I hate 'em myself. + +00:49:34.844 --> 00:49:38.514 +Kids, what do I have to do +to strike a deal with you two? + +00:49:46.022 --> 00:49:48.942 +- Don't you hate it when that happens? +- Let's go, Barbara! + +00:49:49.025 --> 00:49:52.320 +Come up for a while. +We'll talk inside. Come on. + +00:49:52.487 --> 00:49:54.739 +- I'm not staying. +- The place is a mess. + +00:49:54.822 --> 00:49:56.991 +We have to get out of here. + +00:49:57.492 --> 00:49:58.993 +Home! Home! Home! + +00:50:00.787 --> 00:50:02.205 +How did you do that? + +00:50:02.288 --> 00:50:04.207 +Hope you like Italian. + +00:50:04.582 --> 00:50:07.293 +Where'd you go? Hey, where'd you go? + +00:50:07.460 --> 00:50:09.963 +Hey! You've got to work with me here. + +00:50:10.046 --> 00:50:12.590 +I'm just trying to cut a deal. +What do you want me to do? + +00:50:12.674 --> 00:50:14.217 +Where are you? + +00:50:14.509 --> 00:50:16.344 +You bunch of losers! + +00:50:17.095 --> 00:50:19.973 +You're working with a professional here! + +00:50:24.229 --> 00:50:26.022 +Nice fucking model! + +00:50:26.523 --> 00:50:28.942 +We can do this stuff on our own. + +00:50:29.192 --> 00:50:32.404 +Besides, I'm not exposing +that little girl to that pervert. + +00:50:32.487 --> 00:50:35.490 +We did call him, +and he seemed awfully pissed off. + +00:50:35.574 --> 00:50:40.453 +I don't care. I've changed my mind. +We can scare them off ourselves... tonight. + +00:50:40.954 --> 00:50:42.539 +I have an idea. + +00:50:49.129 --> 00:50:52.048 +What you did with the place is wonderful. + +00:50:52.132 --> 00:50:53.675 +Not me. Them. + +00:50:55.218 --> 00:50:56.303 +So? + +00:51:01.308 --> 00:51:02.851 +You like them. + +00:51:03.393 --> 00:51:07.355 +I hope it wasn't yet another +of your dreary suicide attempts. + +00:51:07.689 --> 00:51:10.483 +You know what they say about people +who commit suicide? + +00:51:10.567 --> 00:51:13.530 +In the afterlife, they become civil servants. + +00:51:15.824 --> 00:51:18.785 +Otho, I didn't realize +you were into the supernatural. + +00:51:18.869 --> 00:51:20.954 +Of course! You remember. + +00:51:21.079 --> 00:51:23.749 +After my stint with the Living Theater... + +00:51:23.832 --> 00:51:27.419 +...I was one of New York's +leading paranormal researchers... + +00:51:27.502 --> 00:51:29.421 +...until the bottom dropped out in '72. + +00:51:29.504 --> 00:51:33.091 +Paranormal? Is that what +they're calling your kind these days? + +00:51:33.508 --> 00:51:38.013 +Don't mind her. She's still upset that +somebody dropped a house on her sister. + +00:51:41.224 --> 00:51:43.518 +Well, this looks really good. + +00:51:45.187 --> 00:51:46.939 +I saw some ghosts. + +00:51:53.195 --> 00:51:56.782 +- It's a private joke Lydia and I share. +- It's not a joke. + +00:51:56.865 --> 00:52:01.203 +Yes, it is. Just today she tried +to convince me this house is haunted. + +00:52:03.205 --> 00:52:05.499 +Kids! You know, I love them! + +00:52:07.378 --> 00:52:10.089 +- Ghosts? +- In designer sheets, no less. + +00:52:11.131 --> 00:52:14.510 +I'd like to propose a toast +to our intrepid friends... + +00:52:14.593 --> 00:52:17.680 +...who braved the expressway +and two dozen tollbooths to be with us. + +00:52:17.763 --> 00:52:19.807 +May your buildings go condo. + +00:52:21.475 --> 00:52:24.019 +Lydia, favor us about your ghosts. + +00:52:24.436 --> 00:52:26.814 +No! I am sick of that subject. + +00:52:27.064 --> 00:52:28.816 +Delia, lighten up. + +00:52:29.400 --> 00:52:31.569 +I would rather talk about... + +00:52:46.959 --> 00:52:48.502 +That's cute, Delia. + +00:53:00.808 --> 00:53:02.893 +Otho, are you doing this? + +00:54:30.567 --> 00:54:31.943 +We did it! + +00:54:33.570 --> 00:54:35.363 +Let's watch them scatter. + +00:54:35.446 --> 00:54:39.117 +Any minute now they'll come +running out of that door screaming. + +00:54:42.370 --> 00:54:43.871 +Any minute now. + +00:54:51.089 --> 00:54:52.674 +It's me, Lydia. + +00:54:56.052 --> 00:54:57.971 +They want you to come downstairs. + +00:54:58.054 --> 00:55:01.057 +Delia says you can wear +any sheets you want. + +00:55:02.058 --> 00:55:04.853 +It was like being in an amusement park. + +00:55:05.228 --> 00:55:06.146 +Wham! + +00:55:06.354 --> 00:55:10.066 +- I didn't know I could do the calypso. +- Who has more fun than us? + +00:55:10.150 --> 00:55:12.861 +We're dealing with Tracy and Hepburn. + +00:55:13.194 --> 00:55:16.781 +A very sophisticated pair. +They even appear in sheets. + +00:55:18.241 --> 00:55:21.453 +Charles, why didn't you tell us +about this before? + +00:55:22.954 --> 00:55:27.667 +We're not sure we want our secret out. +Everyone will want them for parties. + +00:55:27.751 --> 00:55:29.502 +People will pay big money for this. + +00:55:29.586 --> 00:55:33.590 +The Enquirer is offering $50,000 +for proof of life after death. + +00:55:35.425 --> 00:55:38.428 +This is it, Charles. +You can get Maxie Dean up here now. + +00:55:38.511 --> 00:55:41.600 +- You think so? +- Sarah loves the supernatural. + +00:55:42.517 --> 00:55:44.728 +She'll have him sprint up here +in his helicopter... + +00:55:44.811 --> 00:55:47.481 +...if you can produce ghosts for her. + +00:55:50.984 --> 00:55:53.946 +I should remind you that I'm Delia's agent. + +00:55:54.029 --> 00:55:56.365 +I have lost money on her work for years. + +00:55:56.448 --> 00:55:59.034 +If anything happened here, I shall handle it. + +00:55:59.117 --> 00:56:01.453 +But not until I've seen real proof. + +00:56:01.536 --> 00:56:05.499 +- What about this table? +- What do you call what just happened? + +00:56:05.791 --> 00:56:08.293 +What money? +Don't you believe in my work? + +00:56:09.211 --> 00:56:10.712 +Here's Lydia. + +00:56:11.338 --> 00:56:13.966 +- Well? +- They don't want to come down. + +00:56:21.765 --> 00:56:23.058 +Why not? + +00:56:24.810 --> 00:56:28.939 +I think they were trying to scare you away, +and you didn't get scared. + +00:56:29.022 --> 00:56:32.276 +They're dead. +It's a little late to be neurotic. + +00:56:36.282 --> 00:56:37.658 +All right. + +00:56:43.414 --> 00:56:46.417 +This was not a hallucination. +This was real. + +00:56:47.751 --> 00:56:52.464 +We all experienced a super-powerful +paranormal experience and it was real. + +00:56:53.173 --> 00:56:56.677 +Delia, you are a flake. +You have always been a flake. + +00:56:57.511 --> 00:57:01.599 +If you insist on frightening people, +do it with your sculpture. + +00:57:02.766 --> 00:57:04.435 +Drive carefully! + +00:57:04.518 --> 00:57:06.437 +- I'm dead. +- Where do they hide? + +00:57:06.520 --> 00:57:08.897 +- The attic. +- The attic's locked. + +00:57:09.732 --> 00:57:12.318 +They're ghosts. +They can do what they want. + +00:57:12.401 --> 00:57:15.571 +They do whatever they want. +Take us up there right now. + +00:57:21.994 --> 00:57:25.164 +Fabulous! Otho Fenlock's +"Locked Door Ghosts!" + +00:57:25.414 --> 00:57:26.999 +Probably committed suicide up there. + +00:57:27.082 --> 00:57:29.170 +- I'm enchanted. +- In there? + +00:57:29.420 --> 00:57:32.340 +- They must live like animals. +- It's locked. How did they get in? + +00:57:32.423 --> 00:57:35.509 +Open this door, Dead People, +or we'll bust it down... + +00:57:35.593 --> 00:57:38.095 +...and drag you out by the ropes +you hanged yourself with! + +00:57:38.179 --> 00:57:40.598 +- They didn't commit suicide. +- It doesn't matter. + +00:57:40.681 --> 00:57:44.310 +I can teach you something here. +Take the upper hand in all situations... + +00:57:44.393 --> 00:57:47.271 +...or people, dead or alive, +will walk all over you. + +00:57:47.355 --> 00:57:48.648 +Open up! + +00:58:00.993 --> 00:58:02.578 +Where are they? + +00:58:02.745 --> 00:58:05.039 +These ghosts are nice people. + +00:58:05.414 --> 00:58:09.085 +I think we scared them away, +so let's leave them alone, all right? + +00:58:09.168 --> 00:58:11.254 +It's the whole damn town. + +00:58:12.505 --> 00:58:15.007 +I have never been so embarrassed. + +00:58:15.925 --> 00:58:17.843 +Have they gone for good? + +00:58:24.143 --> 00:58:25.561 +Dad, don't. + +00:58:25.895 --> 00:58:27.689 +Mom, let's just go. + +00:58:40.410 --> 00:58:41.995 +No ghosts here. + +00:58:44.789 --> 00:58:48.376 +Come on! If they are in here, +I don't want to scare them away. + +00:58:50.253 --> 00:58:53.506 +We're leaving now. +You can go about your business. + +00:58:55.675 --> 00:58:58.511 +- What are we doing? +- Quick, quick, quick. + +00:59:05.768 --> 00:59:08.896 +Oh, boy! You guys are really spooksters, +aren't you? + +00:59:09.897 --> 00:59:13.526 +Now, let's turn on the juice +and see what shakes loose. + +00:59:16.156 --> 00:59:19.951 +Otho, get Maxie on the phone. +We've really got something here. + +00:59:20.035 --> 00:59:24.080 +We can turn this place into the world's +leading supernatural research center. + +00:59:24.164 --> 00:59:27.292 +An amusement park. I'll do a presentation. +Lydia will bring the ghosts. + +00:59:27.375 --> 00:59:30.378 +I can't bring the ghosts. They're not here. + +00:59:30.462 --> 00:59:34.174 +- Otho, can't you do something? +- If I'm properly motivated. + +00:59:36.843 --> 00:59:39.596 +What type of motivation do you require? + +00:59:39.679 --> 00:59:43.558 +Why don't you leave them alone? +They didn't do anything to you. + +01:00:31.024 --> 01:00:33.652 +We've come for your daughter, Chuck. + +01:00:34.653 --> 01:00:36.029 +Stop! Stop! + +01:00:47.874 --> 01:00:50.586 +- Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse! +- Oh, no! + +01:00:52.629 --> 01:00:54.631 +Why are you doing this? + +01:00:56.300 --> 01:00:58.468 +Leave me alone, all of you! + +01:01:02.057 --> 01:01:06.979 +Great choice! We spend the next century +hanging out a window or doing tricks. + +01:01:07.563 --> 01:01:10.274 +Maybe they'll leave now. +That snake was a nasty customer. + +01:01:10.357 --> 01:01:12.484 +- He could've hurt somebody. +- But he didn't. + +01:01:12.568 --> 01:01:15.029 +We've got them where we want them. + +01:01:19.116 --> 01:01:23.078 +You losers! How dare you interrupt +a professional while he's working! + +01:01:23.162 --> 01:01:25.873 +I'm not fond of Charles, +but you could've killed him. + +01:01:25.956 --> 01:01:29.126 +I'm just doing my job! +I thought we had a deal. + +01:01:29.251 --> 01:01:31.337 +It's okay. You know why? + +01:01:31.795 --> 01:01:35.966 +I don't want to do business +with you deadbeats anyway, thank you. + +01:01:36.383 --> 01:01:40.220 +The only one I think I can deal with +is Edgar Allan Poe's daughter. + +01:01:40.304 --> 01:01:42.681 +- She understands me. +- Leave her alone! + +01:01:55.154 --> 01:01:57.448 +Go ahead, make my millennium. + +01:02:04.997 --> 01:02:08.584 +I'm feeling a little anxious, +if you know what I mean. + +01:02:09.043 --> 01:02:11.170 +It's been about 600 years. + +01:02:11.587 --> 01:02:14.674 +I wonder where an everyday Joe +like myself... + +01:02:15.424 --> 01:02:17.510 +...can find a little action. + +01:02:34.527 --> 01:02:36.612 +Yeah. Here I come, baby. + +01:02:40.992 --> 01:02:42.743 +Hey, Adam, nice move! + +01:02:44.412 --> 01:02:46.956 +- Why did you build that? +- I didn't. + +01:02:57.093 --> 01:02:59.429 +Will you guys shut up and leave me alone? + +01:02:59.512 --> 01:03:01.848 +I've got all this paperwork to do. + +01:03:04.142 --> 01:03:06.185 +You two, come in. Sit down. + +01:03:06.269 --> 01:03:08.354 +Get in here, both of you! + +01:03:11.983 --> 01:03:16.154 +The whorehouse was my idea. +I want Betelgeuse out of the picture. + +01:03:17.280 --> 01:03:19.449 +You two have really screwed up. + +01:03:19.949 --> 01:03:22.952 +I heard you allowed yourselves +to be photographed. + +01:03:23.036 --> 01:03:25.788 +You let Betelgeuse out +and didn't put him back. + +01:03:25.872 --> 01:03:28.249 +And you let Otho take the handbook! + +01:03:28.333 --> 01:03:29.500 +When? + +01:03:30.793 --> 01:03:32.795 +Never trust the living! + +01:03:33.379 --> 01:03:36.049 +We cannot have +a routine haunting like yours... + +01:03:36.132 --> 01:03:39.719 +...provide proof that there is existence +beyond death. + +01:03:40.553 --> 01:03:42.891 +Coach, where's the men's room? + +01:03:44.100 --> 01:03:46.603 +I'm not your coach. He survived. + +01:03:46.770 --> 01:03:48.855 +Let me get something straight. + +01:03:48.939 --> 01:03:51.566 +- What's our curfew? +- Get out of here! + +01:03:52.567 --> 01:03:55.153 +Go on, get downstairs! Men's room! + +01:03:55.737 --> 01:03:58.323 +Are you kidding? Can't you read signs? + +01:03:58.406 --> 01:04:00.200 +I'll be right back. + +01:04:12.462 --> 01:04:14.589 +Maybe this was a bad idea. + +01:04:14.965 --> 01:04:16.883 +I didn't say anything. + +01:04:18.843 --> 01:04:21.763 +Who are we kidding? +You've never had a bad idea. + +01:04:21.846 --> 01:04:23.014 +Yeah? + +01:04:25.767 --> 01:04:27.811 +This could all work out. + +01:04:29.479 --> 01:04:30.522 +Home. + +01:04:34.025 --> 01:04:36.655 +I'm not sure this is the right environment +for Lydia. + +01:04:36.738 --> 01:04:38.824 +- Snakes. Ghosts. +- Shrimp. + +01:04:40.409 --> 01:04:42.119 +You family types. + +01:04:42.411 --> 01:04:46.206 +You've got other things to worry about. +Maxie Dean is coming tonight. + +01:04:46.290 --> 01:04:49.793 +You have to sell these ghosts. +I can only do so much. + +01:04:50.210 --> 01:04:53.463 +What are you going to do? +Viciously rearrange their environment? + +01:04:53.547 --> 01:04:57.718 +I know as much about the supernatural +as I do about interior design. + +01:05:05.601 --> 01:05:06.893 +"I am... + +01:05:07.311 --> 01:05:08.437 +"...alone. + +01:05:18.989 --> 01:05:20.240 +"I am... + +01:05:21.158 --> 01:05:22.701 +"...utterly... + +01:05:22.951 --> 01:05:24.077 +"...alone. + +01:05:25.621 --> 01:05:27.205 +"By the time... + +01:05:29.001 --> 01:05:30.544 +"...you read this... + +01:05:31.253 --> 01:05:32.755 +"...I will... + +01:05:33.172 --> 01:05:34.423 +"...be gone... + +01:05:36.008 --> 01:05:37.760 +"...having jumped... + +01:05:40.054 --> 01:05:41.889 +"Having plummeted... + +01:05:43.807 --> 01:05:44.934 +"...off... + +01:05:45.726 --> 01:05:47.895 +"...the Winter River Bridge." + +01:05:50.981 --> 01:05:53.150 +I don't care what it takes. + +01:05:53.233 --> 01:05:55.861 +You get the Deetzes out of there now! + +01:05:57.196 --> 01:05:58.739 +Wait a minute. + +01:06:00.824 --> 01:06:02.576 +What are you going to do? + +01:06:03.160 --> 01:06:04.703 +To scare them. + +01:06:05.162 --> 01:06:08.248 +I want to make sure +it's not some silly parlor trick. + +01:06:08.874 --> 01:06:10.417 +I'll go first. + +01:06:32.650 --> 01:06:34.402 +Not bad. Not bad. + +01:06:35.820 --> 01:06:36.862 +Now you. + +01:06:37.405 --> 01:06:38.739 +Go ahead! + +01:06:53.671 --> 01:06:55.256 +You look great. + +01:06:55.923 --> 01:07:00.094 +Go clean house and don't forget +the photographs and the handbook. + +01:07:08.936 --> 01:07:10.438 +- Coach? +- What? + +01:07:11.981 --> 01:07:14.317 +I don't think we survived that crash. + +01:07:14.400 --> 01:07:16.070 +How did you guess? + +01:07:19.699 --> 01:07:21.618 +Mr. And Mrs. Maitland? + +01:07:26.372 --> 01:07:27.582 +Hello? + +01:07:28.750 --> 01:07:30.543 +- Where are you? +- Dead. + +01:07:32.086 --> 01:07:33.921 +Dead, dead, deadski. + +01:07:35.590 --> 01:07:37.467 +Of course they're dead. They're ghosts. + +01:07:37.550 --> 01:07:41.554 +No, I mean they're gone. Split. +Out of here. Afterlife kids. + +01:07:42.096 --> 01:07:44.515 +- Deceased. +- Are you a ghost, too? + +01:07:46.559 --> 01:07:49.103 +I'm the ghost with the most, babe. + +01:07:51.439 --> 01:07:54.233 +You look like somebody I can relate to. + +01:07:55.985 --> 01:07:58.863 +Maybe you could help me get out of here. + +01:07:59.322 --> 01:08:01.950 +I gotta tell you, this death thing... + +01:08:05.119 --> 01:08:06.537 +It's creepy. + +01:08:06.621 --> 01:08:08.375 +Here's my problem. + +01:08:08.792 --> 01:08:12.045 +I've got friends on the outside +I said I'd meet. + +01:08:12.462 --> 01:08:14.714 +I have to be there in person. + +01:08:14.798 --> 01:08:17.133 +So could you help me get out of here? + +01:08:18.260 --> 01:08:19.970 +I want to get in. + +01:08:20.971 --> 01:08:22.013 +Why? + +01:08:23.765 --> 01:08:27.560 +You've probably got your reasons, +but I can't do anything from here. + +01:08:27.644 --> 01:08:31.398 +If you could get me out, over there, +maybe we could talk. + +01:08:32.565 --> 01:08:36.069 +But to do that you've got +to say my name three times. + +01:08:36.152 --> 01:08:37.862 +What's your name? + +01:08:38.405 --> 01:08:40.115 +I can't tell you. + +01:08:40.657 --> 01:08:41.700 +Why not? + +01:08:42.242 --> 01:08:46.288 +If I tell you, you'll tell your friends, +they'll call me all the time. + +01:08:46.371 --> 01:08:50.458 +I've got to go to shopping centers for +openings, sign autographs, that shit. + +01:08:50.542 --> 01:08:53.628 +It makes my life hell, okay? A living hell. + +01:08:54.129 --> 01:08:58.049 +But maybe if you have a pen... +I know! Do you play charades? + +01:08:58.675 --> 01:09:00.135 +- Yeah. +- Good. + +01:09:00.677 --> 01:09:02.472 +Here we go. Ready? + +01:09:02.681 --> 01:09:04.057 +Two words. + +01:09:04.725 --> 01:09:05.934 +Right! + +01:09:07.477 --> 01:09:09.605 +First word, two syllables. + +01:09:10.314 --> 01:09:11.481 +Look. + +01:09:12.524 --> 01:09:13.984 +Turn around. + +01:09:15.694 --> 01:09:17.613 +I don't know what your signal means. + +01:09:17.696 --> 01:09:19.364 +Look behind you! + +01:09:20.073 --> 01:09:21.783 +Hi. How are you? + +01:09:22.242 --> 01:09:23.493 +Beetle. + +01:09:23.744 --> 01:09:25.495 +Got it. Now, two. + +01:09:28.707 --> 01:09:31.293 +Breakfast? Orange? Orange beetle? + +01:09:31.418 --> 01:09:32.919 +Beetle fruit? + +01:09:33.420 --> 01:09:35.130 +Beetle breakfast? + +01:09:36.173 --> 01:09:37.591 +Beetle drink? + +01:09:40.427 --> 01:09:41.929 +Beetle juice? + +01:09:42.054 --> 01:09:44.640 +- That's it! +- Your name's Beetlejuice? + +01:09:44.723 --> 01:09:48.143 +You said it twice. +Just say it once more. Come on. + +01:09:48.393 --> 01:09:50.938 +It was you, wasn't it? The snake. + +01:09:52.105 --> 01:09:55.069 +You kids and your imagination! +Just say it! + +01:09:56.195 --> 01:09:57.279 +No. + +01:09:59.073 --> 01:10:00.199 +I want to talk to Barbara. + +01:10:00.282 --> 01:10:03.452 +You don't need to talk to Barbara! +Just say it! + +01:10:07.456 --> 01:10:11.001 +Adam, I can't go through with it. +I like that little girl. + +01:10:11.085 --> 01:10:14.505 +But it's too late. +We have to go through with this. + +01:10:14.797 --> 01:10:17.132 +No, we don't. Can't we rebel? + +01:10:24.306 --> 01:10:26.350 +I want to be with Lydia. + +01:10:37.486 --> 01:10:39.405 +Come on! Just say it! + +01:10:41.615 --> 01:10:43.242 +No, don't say it! + +01:10:44.451 --> 01:10:45.703 +Say it! + +01:10:46.328 --> 01:10:49.083 +It's okay. It's us. What's going on? + +01:10:50.501 --> 01:10:51.794 +Beetle... + +01:10:52.295 --> 01:10:55.840 +He said if I let him out he would +take me to the other side to find you. + +01:10:55.923 --> 01:10:57.842 +No, Lydia, we're dead. + +01:11:00.386 --> 01:11:02.388 +- I want to be dead, too. +- No! + +01:11:11.022 --> 01:11:13.941 +Being dead doesn't make things any easier. + +01:11:14.025 --> 01:11:17.987 +Listen to her on this. +This is something we know a lot about. + +01:11:19.030 --> 01:11:21.782 +And you can visit us anytime you want. + +01:11:23.409 --> 01:11:27.204 +I have a feeling things are going +to be better from now on. + +01:11:28.164 --> 01:11:30.249 +What do you mean, better? + +01:11:30.458 --> 01:11:34.587 +We've decided we're going to invite +you and your family to stay. + +01:11:35.713 --> 01:11:37.173 +That's right. + +01:11:42.639 --> 01:11:45.975 +- Can't we bring Maxie up here? +- You've got a stake in this, too. + +01:11:46.059 --> 01:11:50.772 +This is a presentation. It requires +a sense of occasion, a sense of style. + +01:11:50.855 --> 01:11:53.483 +- It's big. How will we get it out? +- It's sectional. + +01:11:53.566 --> 01:11:55.401 +- Wait, there are plugs. +- Careful! + +01:11:55.485 --> 01:11:56.819 +Okay, go. + +01:11:58.655 --> 01:12:01.783 +- What's going on? +- I don't know. I'll find out. + +01:12:01.866 --> 01:12:03.284 +Be careful. + +01:12:04.661 --> 01:12:07.121 +We've got Ed Cornwell +to head the wax museum... + +01:12:07.205 --> 01:12:11.292 +...dedicated to 50 great moments +of the paranormal in Thanksgiving Park. + +01:12:11.376 --> 01:12:13.252 +You must remember Ed. + +01:12:14.212 --> 01:12:17.966 +He's the genius who gave us +the talking Marcel Marceau statue. + +01:12:19.676 --> 01:12:23.262 +And D-Con is on its knees +to sponsor the insect zoo... + +01:12:24.472 --> 01:12:26.766 +...in the old hardware store. + +01:12:27.141 --> 01:12:28.559 +We can't lose! + +01:12:34.816 --> 01:12:39.239 +Lydia, you decided to join us. +I just finished the initial presentation. + +01:12:39.322 --> 01:12:41.866 +Now it's time to have a stretch... + +01:12:42.367 --> 01:12:45.704 +...and to invite our friends +to meet your friends. + +01:12:46.371 --> 01:12:48.123 +Are they here yet? + +01:12:48.456 --> 01:12:51.251 +Charles, we're here to see some ghosts. + +01:12:53.336 --> 01:12:55.505 +They're not here... anymore. + +01:12:59.926 --> 01:13:02.387 +Every time she says that, the paint peels... + +01:13:02.470 --> 01:13:05.473 +...and some wild creature tries to kill us. + +01:13:07.017 --> 01:13:09.269 +But we have pictures, Lydia. + +01:13:09.436 --> 01:13:12.439 +Really. They said they'd come back +and we could all live here... + +01:13:12.522 --> 01:13:16.693 +...if you agreed not to tease them +or make them do stupid tricks. + +01:13:17.694 --> 01:13:20.113 +She has a tendency to overreact. + +01:13:20.614 --> 01:13:24.075 +Don't worry, we're not relying on her. +We have Otho. + +01:13:27.370 --> 01:13:30.667 +- Are they still here? +- Otho, are they still here? + +01:13:30.876 --> 01:13:34.004 +They're still here. They're just hiding out. + +01:13:34.713 --> 01:13:37.299 +They probably feel guilty +about what they did to me. + +01:13:37.382 --> 01:13:39.301 +They're sorry they didn't kill you. + +01:13:39.384 --> 01:13:41.428 +I just want to see them. + +01:13:43.889 --> 01:13:45.432 +Otho, can you do it? + +01:13:45.557 --> 01:13:48.685 +- It'll be tricky, but I think I can handle it. +- No! + +01:13:53.607 --> 01:13:57.069 +What am I worried about? +You can't even change a tire. + +01:13:59.988 --> 01:14:02.741 +I'll be needing +something personal of theirs. + +01:14:02.824 --> 01:14:04.993 +You'll have to go to the Goodwill. + +01:14:07.913 --> 01:14:09.289 +Excuse me. + +01:14:21.762 --> 01:14:23.597 +The wedding clothes. + +01:14:25.265 --> 01:14:26.642 +The words: + +01:14:34.942 --> 01:14:36.610 +"Hands vermilion + +01:14:37.069 --> 01:14:38.612 +"Start of five + +01:14:39.488 --> 01:14:40.948 +"Bright cotillion + +01:14:42.032 --> 01:14:43.534 +"Raven's dive + +01:14:44.493 --> 01:14:46.120 +"Nightshade's promise + +01:14:46.870 --> 01:14:48.455 +"Spirits strive + +01:14:49.623 --> 01:14:52.626 +"To the living, +let now the dead come alive" + +01:15:07.766 --> 01:15:09.059 +Barbara? + +01:15:11.312 --> 01:15:13.564 +"As sudden thunder pierces night + +01:15:14.857 --> 01:15:17.153 +"As magic wonder mad affright + +01:15:17.695 --> 01:15:19.947 +"Rives asunder man's delight + +01:15:21.449 --> 01:15:23.367 +"Our ghost, our corpse + +01:15:24.493 --> 01:15:26.287 +"And we rise to be" + +01:15:36.464 --> 01:15:37.506 +Help! + +01:15:45.931 --> 01:15:47.224 +Stop it! + +01:15:49.977 --> 01:15:51.812 +"As flies the lizard + +01:15:51.937 --> 01:15:53.189 +"Serpent fell + +01:15:53.648 --> 01:15:55.650 +"As goblin vizard at the spell + +01:15:57.109 --> 01:15:59.904 +"The buried, dead and slain rise again" + +01:16:47.120 --> 01:16:49.205 +What's happening to them? + +01:16:50.498 --> 01:16:51.749 +I don't know. + +01:16:53.334 --> 01:16:54.877 +They're dying! + +01:16:54.961 --> 01:16:57.672 +They're already dead. +They can't feel a thing. + +01:16:58.548 --> 01:17:01.634 +- That's not true! Look at them! +- That's enough. + +01:17:01.718 --> 01:17:03.430 +Can we stop this? + +01:17:05.473 --> 01:17:08.059 +It's too late, Charles. I'm sorry. + +01:17:15.984 --> 01:17:18.528 +Where are you? Help them, please. + +01:17:22.657 --> 01:17:25.952 +Sure, I can help them. +But you've got to help me. + +01:17:26.036 --> 01:17:28.997 +- What? +- I'm what you call an illegal alien. + +01:17:29.122 --> 01:17:32.792 +I want out for good. +To do that, I've gotta get married. + +01:17:34.711 --> 01:17:38.798 +These aren't my rules. Come to think of it, +I don't have any rules. + +01:17:39.674 --> 01:17:40.967 +Come on. + +01:17:41.676 --> 01:17:44.721 +Think of it as a marriage of inconvenience. +We both get something. + +01:17:44.804 --> 01:17:48.808 +I get out. You get the most +eligible bachelor since Valentino. + +01:17:49.100 --> 01:17:51.645 +- We're even. +- Okay, just help them. + +01:17:54.939 --> 01:17:56.109 +Sure. + +01:18:06.620 --> 01:18:08.080 +Beetlejuice. + +01:18:16.463 --> 01:18:18.048 +It's show time. + +01:18:35.691 --> 01:18:37.609 +Attention, K-Mart shoppers: + +01:18:48.747 --> 01:18:53.210 +I'm back. I feel real good about myself. +You know what I mean? So... + +01:18:53.544 --> 01:18:55.379 +...without further delay... + +01:18:56.797 --> 01:18:58.757 +...welcome to Winter River! + +01:18:58.841 --> 01:19:00.884 +Museum of Natural Greed! + +01:19:01.135 --> 01:19:03.304 +A monument to the bored businessman. + +01:19:03.387 --> 01:19:07.141 +Come a little closer. +Step right up! Test your strength. + +01:19:29.330 --> 01:19:30.706 +Thank you. + +01:19:30.831 --> 01:19:32.541 +Thank you! Whew! + +01:19:33.917 --> 01:19:37.546 +That is why I won't do +two shows a night anymore, babe. + +01:19:38.005 --> 01:19:39.590 +I won't do 'em. + +01:19:39.715 --> 01:19:42.678 +Well, what have we got here tonight, kids? + +01:19:45.640 --> 01:19:47.683 +We've got the Maitlands. + +01:19:47.933 --> 01:19:50.853 +I think they've had enough exercise +for tonight. + +01:19:57.860 --> 01:20:00.946 +Not so fast, Round Boy. +We're gonna have some laughs. + +01:20:21.425 --> 01:20:22.760 +Mom, Dad: + +01:20:25.888 --> 01:20:28.766 +I just want you two to know +you're welcome in our house... + +01:20:28.849 --> 01:20:31.143 +...anytime you want to come over. + +01:20:31.227 --> 01:20:34.105 +In the meantime, the dowry's on me, Dad. + +01:20:38.403 --> 01:20:42.907 +The Maitlands are taken care of. +Everything seems to be back to normal. + +01:20:47.996 --> 01:20:49.330 +Shall we? + +01:20:59.716 --> 01:21:02.093 +Called the caterer. He's got a great band. + +01:21:02.176 --> 01:21:04.971 +We're gonna need witnesses. Would you? + +01:21:55.398 --> 01:21:57.609 +Let's get on with the ceremony. + +01:21:57.692 --> 01:21:59.277 +Do you, Betel... + +01:22:00.862 --> 01:22:04.366 +- Nobody says the "B" word. +- Do you take this woman... + +01:22:05.033 --> 01:22:07.160 +...to be your wedded wife? + +01:22:08.036 --> 01:22:10.622 +I don't know. It's a big decision. + +01:22:10.705 --> 01:22:14.584 +I always said if I ever did it, +I was gonna do it only once. + +01:22:15.543 --> 01:22:16.962 +Sure. Go ahead. + +01:22:17.045 --> 01:22:19.589 +And do you, Lydia, take this man... + +01:22:20.256 --> 01:22:21.716 +No! Betel... + +01:22:23.470 --> 01:22:27.057 +She's a little nervous. +Maybe I should answer for her. + +01:22:27.224 --> 01:22:29.142 +I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. + +01:22:29.226 --> 01:22:31.770 +The man next to me is the one I want. +You asked me. + +01:22:31.853 --> 01:22:34.856 +I'm answering. +Yes, I love that man of mine. + +01:22:35.524 --> 01:22:36.566 +Come on. + +01:22:40.570 --> 01:22:41.863 +Come on. + +01:22:43.073 --> 01:22:44.449 +Betelgeu... + +01:22:50.080 --> 01:22:51.290 +Scram! + +01:22:53.125 --> 01:22:54.418 +Come on! + +01:22:56.086 --> 01:22:57.421 +Hey, guy. + +01:23:00.590 --> 01:23:03.010 +May we continue with the ceremony? + +01:23:05.721 --> 01:23:07.639 +- Then by... +- Betelgeuse. + +01:23:17.609 --> 01:23:18.861 +Strike! + +01:23:22.114 --> 01:23:23.532 +Let's roll! + +01:23:23.782 --> 01:23:26.410 +Then by the authority vested in me... + +01:23:27.077 --> 01:23:29.705 +- The ring, please. +- The ring! Oh, no! + +01:23:37.755 --> 01:23:39.548 +I've got it, honey. + +01:23:55.606 --> 01:23:57.691 +Here it is. Here you go. + +01:23:58.317 --> 01:24:01.236 +She meant nothing to me. Nothing at all! + +01:24:07.701 --> 01:24:09.997 +- I now pronounce you... +- Yeah, come on. + +01:24:11.874 --> 01:24:13.209 +Man and... + +01:25:12.645 --> 01:25:15.189 +- What time is it? +- It's about 3:30. + +01:25:16.524 --> 01:25:18.359 +Give or take a year. + +01:25:24.949 --> 01:25:26.117 +Well? + +01:25:27.368 --> 01:25:28.453 +Did you get the paints? + +01:25:28.536 --> 01:25:32.040 +Yes. And I took pictures +of the new town hall for you, too. + +01:25:32.123 --> 01:25:34.042 +How was the science test? + +01:25:34.125 --> 01:25:37.211 +It was gross. +They wanted me to dissect a frog. + +01:25:37.295 --> 01:25:40.715 +I told them "no way." I said it was +against my religion. I got a "C." + +01:25:40.798 --> 01:25:42.550 +And the math test? + +01:25:44.218 --> 01:25:48.514 +You're kidding me? We spent +the whole week studying for that test. + +01:25:48.848 --> 01:25:50.350 +I got an "A." + +01:25:50.600 --> 01:25:51.976 +So, can I? + +01:25:52.644 --> 01:25:55.647 +I don't know. +Got a "C" on the science test. + +01:25:57.442 --> 01:26:00.362 +Don't tease her. +You never got on "A" in science... + +01:26:05.075 --> 01:26:06.368 +Come on. + +01:26:08.036 --> 01:26:09.287 +Well... + +01:26:10.330 --> 01:26:11.790 +...I suppose. + +01:26:28.390 --> 01:26:30.475 +This reads like stereo instructions. + +01:26:30.558 --> 01:26:33.269 +Sounds like Lydia got an "A" +on the math test. + +01:26:35.563 --> 01:26:37.023 +He likes it. + +01:27:17.733 --> 01:27:20.068 +Sorry. Didn't see you sitting there. + +01:27:21.987 --> 01:27:23.196 +Women. + +01:27:24.239 --> 01:27:26.742 +I don't know what her problem is. + +01:27:27.534 --> 01:27:28.952 +Normally, chicks... + +01:27:43.594 --> 01:27:45.554 +Pardon me. Did you do that? + +01:27:45.638 --> 01:27:47.014 +Nice work. + +01:27:47.222 --> 01:27:49.308 +How do you get them so small? + +01:27:49.391 --> 01:27:51.352 +There goes Elvis! Yo, King! + +01:27:54.146 --> 01:27:56.273 +Well, looks like I'm next. + +01:27:58.317 --> 01:28:02.946 +Good thing. I've got to do a photo shoot +for G.Q. In an hour and a half. + +01:28:03.947 --> 01:28:07.826 +They've been after me for months. +Some kind of underwear deal. + +01:28:09.495 --> 01:28:12.414 +What are you doing? Stop it. +You're messing up my hair. + +01:28:12.498 --> 01:28:14.583 +Come on! Whoa! Stop it! + +01:28:18.170 --> 01:28:20.547 +This might be a good look for me. + +01:31:42.883 --> 01:31:45.427 +Subtitles conformed by SOFTITLER + diff --git a/files/assets/1.vtt b/files/assets/ayvN3F.vtt similarity index 50% rename from files/assets/1.vtt rename to files/assets/ayvN3F.vtt index 812610fce..bb0c6ab7a 100644 --- a/files/assets/1.vtt +++ b/files/assets/ayvN3F.vtt @@ -3676,3273 +3676,3 @@ Come on, cat. 01:56:32.527 --> 01:56:37.528 English - US - PSDH -01:59:16.037 --> 01:59:18.164 -That's a big fella! Whoa! - -01:59:46.153 --> 01:59:48.196 -- Looks great. -- Thank you. - -01:59:48.530 --> 01:59:50.449 -Happy vacation, honey. - -01:59:51.867 --> 01:59:54.494 -Manchurian tung oil! -Where did you get this? - -01:59:54.828 --> 01:59:56.496 -Helen got it for me in Oslo. - -01:59:56.580 --> 02:00:00.333 -There's enough here -to do the whole table and the bureau. - -02:00:02.794 --> 02:00:04.713 -I wonder what this could be. - -02:00:04.796 --> 02:00:07.174 -Oh, honey, you got it. Thank you. - -02:00:07.257 --> 02:00:09.468 -Enough to do the entire guest room. - -02:00:09.551 --> 02:00:11.928 -I'm so glad we're spending -our vacation at home. - -02:00:12.012 --> 02:00:14.890 -- I'm gonna get started now. -- Where are you going? - -02:00:18.935 --> 02:00:21.063 -- I'll get it. -- Be my guest. - -02:00:25.776 --> 02:00:28.028 -- Maybe you should get it. -- I'll go. - -02:00:34.409 --> 02:00:35.660 -Oh, no! - -02:00:41.585 --> 02:00:42.753 -Jane. - -02:00:44.797 --> 02:00:46.715 -It's your turn, honey. - -02:00:59.561 --> 02:01:01.689 -- Good luck, honey. -- Thanks. - -02:01:03.899 --> 02:01:06.985 -Hi, Barbara. I'm glad I caught you. -Heard you were on vacation. - -02:01:07.069 --> 02:01:08.570 -That's right. Complete vacation. - -02:01:08.654 --> 02:01:10.447 -Today I'm $260,000! - -02:01:12.533 --> 02:01:15.494 -- It's 6:45 in the morning. -- This offer is real. - -02:01:15.577 --> 02:01:18.997 -From a man in New York City -who only saw a photograph. - -02:01:19.081 --> 02:01:21.834 -Jane, don't send people photos -of our house. - -02:01:21.917 --> 02:01:26.171 -He wants to bring the wife and family -here for some peace and quiet. - -02:01:26.255 --> 02:01:28.048 -That's what we're looking for. - -02:01:28.132 --> 02:01:32.555 -This house is too big for you. -It ought to be for a couple with kids. - -02:01:34.348 --> 02:01:37.685 -I didn't mean anything. -But this house is too big. - -02:01:38.102 --> 02:01:41.605 -- I'll see you in a few weeks. Okay? -- Think about it. - -02:01:55.119 --> 02:01:57.413 -I was telling Barbara about this offer -on the house... - -02:01:57.496 --> 02:01:58.539 -No, Jane. - -02:02:06.505 --> 02:02:08.424 -Come with me to the store. - -02:02:08.507 --> 02:02:11.761 -- What for? -- I need a new brush for the tung oil. - -02:02:12.219 --> 02:02:16.140 -- And I want to get a part for the model. -- Just run in, okay? - -02:02:34.660 --> 02:02:37.580 -Two weeks at home. The perfect vacation. - -02:02:38.122 --> 02:02:41.834 -Jane says we should sell the house -to someone with a family. - -02:02:41.918 --> 02:02:44.879 -I don't think it's any of Jane's business. - -02:02:45.421 --> 02:02:48.508 -Besides, we could try again -on this vacation. - -02:02:48.925 --> 02:02:51.010 -Really? What are you saying? - -02:03:08.236 --> 02:03:10.905 -- How are you doing, Ernie? -- Hi, how are you? - -02:03:20.125 --> 02:03:21.334 -Good morning, Adam. - -02:03:21.418 --> 02:03:24.003 -- Need a haircut before your vacation? -- No, thanks, Bill. - -02:03:24.087 --> 02:03:25.755 -- How's the model coming? -- Great. - -02:03:25.839 --> 02:03:30.010 -You know, Bozman built that foundation -in 1835. His grandson... - -02:03:40.437 --> 02:03:43.440 -He's got hair down -to his goddamn shoulders. - -02:03:43.940 --> 02:03:46.735 -He says to me, "Just trim it a little." - -02:03:47.152 --> 02:03:50.447 -- I took the scissors to him so fast... -- See you later. - -02:04:04.836 --> 02:04:08.506 -- This will be great. -- Wouldn't you rather go to Jamaica? - -02:04:09.007 --> 02:04:12.304 -- No way. There's no place like home. -- Look out for that... - -02:04:57.349 --> 02:04:59.685 -Perfect start to our vacation. - -02:04:59.851 --> 02:05:02.437 -You'll feel better when you're dry. - -02:05:04.400 --> 02:05:07.152 -That fire wasn't burning when we left. - -02:05:08.237 --> 02:05:11.532 -- How's your arm? -- I don't know. It feels frozen. - -02:05:28.924 --> 02:05:31.719 -I'll make some coffee -and you get wood for the fire. - -02:05:31.802 --> 02:05:34.596 -Maybe we should take things extra slow. - -02:05:34.680 --> 02:05:37.474 -Do you remember how -we got back up here? - -02:05:39.393 --> 02:05:42.813 -I'm going back to that bridge -and retrace our steps. - -02:05:57.621 --> 02:05:59.373 -- You saved my... -- Two hours! - -02:05:59.457 --> 02:06:02.877 -- You won't believe... What? -- That's how long you were gone. - -02:06:04.128 --> 02:06:06.964 -- What is going on? -- I have to show you something. - -02:06:08.507 --> 02:06:09.675 -Look. - -02:06:17.641 --> 02:06:19.143 -There's that. - -02:06:19.643 --> 02:06:21.354 -And there's that. - -02:06:28.944 --> 02:06:32.239 -- "Handbook for the Recently Diseased." -- Deceased. - -02:06:34.825 --> 02:06:36.160 -Deceased. - -02:06:36.410 --> 02:06:40.039 -I don't know where it came from. -Look at the publisher. - -02:06:44.043 --> 02:06:47.004 -"Handbook for -the Recently Deceased Press." - -02:06:47.505 --> 02:06:50.927 -You know what? -I don't think we survived the crash. - -02:06:55.348 --> 02:06:56.766 -I hate this. - -02:06:56.849 --> 02:06:59.018 -Can you give me the basics? - -02:06:59.977 --> 02:07:02.980 -This book isn't arranged that way. -What do you want to know? - -02:07:03.064 --> 02:07:06.484 -Why did you disappear -when you stepped off the porch? - -02:07:06.567 --> 02:07:09.112 -Are we halfway to heaven -or halfway to hell? - -02:07:09.195 --> 02:07:11.197 -How long will this last? - -02:07:11.280 --> 02:07:13.574 -I don't see anything about heaven or hell. - -02:07:13.658 --> 02:07:16.619 -This book reads like stereo instructions. -Listen. - -02:07:16.703 --> 02:07:18.663 -"Geographical and Temporal Perimeters. - -02:07:18.746 --> 02:07:22.375 -"Functional perimeters vary from -manifestation to manifestation." - -02:07:23.960 --> 02:07:26.170 -This is going to take some time. - -02:07:49.487 --> 02:07:52.282 -Damn sandworms. Thirteen percent, huh? - -02:07:52.657 --> 02:07:55.994 -I better find a job. -Let's see. Business section. - -02:08:02.083 --> 02:08:04.711 -What do we got here? The Maitlands. - -02:08:06.713 --> 02:08:09.591 -Cute couple. Look nice and stupid, too. - -02:08:16.806 --> 02:08:19.434 -I wish I had a better view -of the cemetery from here. - -02:08:19.517 --> 02:08:22.520 -I can't tell which is -the best placement for us. - -02:08:27.942 --> 02:08:29.402 -Cabin fever? - -02:08:29.819 --> 02:08:31.780 -I can't clean anything properly. - -02:08:31.863 --> 02:08:34.657 -The vacuum's in the garage -and we can't leave the house. - -02:08:34.741 --> 02:08:38.288 -Why don't they tell us something? -Where are the other dead people? - -02:08:38.372 --> 02:08:40.499 -Why is it just you and me? - -02:08:41.249 --> 02:08:43.126 -Maybe this is heaven. - -02:08:43.835 --> 02:08:46.588 -In heaven there wouldn't be dust -on everything. - -02:08:55.222 --> 02:08:56.515 -It's Jane. - -02:09:00.352 --> 02:09:02.104 -- What's she doing here? -- I don't know. - -02:09:02.187 --> 02:09:04.064 -Jane, up here. Jane! - -02:09:10.404 --> 02:09:12.489 -She can't see you, right? - -02:09:15.117 --> 02:09:19.079 -In the book, rule number two: -"The living usually won't see the dead." - -02:09:20.706 --> 02:09:23.458 -- Won't or can't? -- It just says "won't." - -02:09:23.542 --> 02:09:27.504 -God, this book is so stupid! -I can't understand anything in it. - -02:09:28.797 --> 02:09:30.342 -Barb, honey... - -02:09:31.051 --> 02:09:32.594 -...we're dead. - -02:09:32.886 --> 02:09:36.223 -I don't think we have much -to worry about anymore. - -02:10:09.006 --> 02:10:12.009 -This is great! -Just what the doctor ordered. - -02:10:18.223 --> 02:10:19.725 -Sorry, ma'am. - -02:10:21.810 --> 02:10:23.939 -Delia Deetz, welcome home. - -02:10:25.399 --> 02:10:26.692 -Charles! - -02:10:27.193 --> 02:10:31.781 -It's okay, there's no damage. See? -Good, sturdy, country craftsmanship. - -02:10:32.323 --> 02:10:36.452 -Look at that kitchen. You'll finally -be able to cook a decent meal. - -02:10:39.330 --> 02:10:41.040 -Come and have a look. - -02:10:50.091 --> 02:10:53.094 -A little gasoline. Blowtorch. No problem. - -02:10:54.261 --> 02:10:56.263 -Excuse me. Here we go. - -02:11:07.525 --> 02:11:09.860 -We'll have to rip out all the plumbing. - -02:11:09.944 --> 02:11:13.072 -Other than that, it's perfect. Just perfect. - -02:11:14.198 --> 02:11:17.161 -- What do you think, honey? -- Delia hates it. - -02:11:20.832 --> 02:11:22.291 -I could live here. - -02:11:22.542 --> 02:11:24.210 -Careful! That's my sculpture. - -02:11:24.293 --> 02:11:27.505 -I don't mean "my" as in "I bought it." -I mean I made it. - -02:11:29.549 --> 02:11:31.384 -Put it on the table. - -02:11:39.726 --> 02:11:42.812 -Ten minutes. I'm already perfectly at ease. - -02:11:43.730 --> 02:11:45.148 -It's perfect. - -02:11:45.231 --> 02:11:46.399 -Help! - -02:11:47.316 --> 02:11:48.693 -It's Otho. - -02:11:49.235 --> 02:11:52.196 -Otho, why don't you come -in the front door? - -02:11:52.572 --> 02:11:53.990 -It's bad luck. - -02:11:54.073 --> 02:11:56.993 -You left the city for me. I am so happy. - -02:11:57.368 --> 02:11:59.120 -Of course you are. - -02:12:01.789 --> 02:12:03.958 -Let's get one thing straight. - -02:12:04.042 --> 02:12:08.004 -We're here to enjoy the country setting, -not to trash the place! - -02:12:08.087 --> 02:12:10.717 -Charles, you're lucky -the yuppies are buying condos... - -02:12:10.800 --> 02:12:14.929 -...so you can afford what I'm going -to have to do to this place. - -02:12:15.221 --> 02:12:19.476 -I'm here to relax and clip coupons, -and, damn it, I mean to do it. - -02:12:19.726 --> 02:12:22.353 -Then go do it quietly, dear, -and let Otho and me think. - -02:12:22.437 --> 02:12:24.564 -Is the rest of the house as bad as this? - -02:12:24.647 --> 02:12:26.524 -Is this a punishment? - -02:12:27.734 --> 02:12:29.444 -What are we going to do? - -02:12:30.320 --> 02:12:32.655 -We're not completely helpless. - -02:12:32.947 --> 02:12:37.160 -I've been reading that book and there's -a word for people in our situation. - -02:12:37.702 --> 02:12:38.953 -Ghosts! - -02:12:40.330 --> 02:12:42.749 -Let's get this show on the road. - -02:12:46.002 --> 02:12:48.380 -We're dealing with -negative entertainment potential. - -02:12:48.463 --> 02:12:51.299 -There's absolutely no organic flow through. - -02:12:51.383 --> 02:12:54.302 -I noticed that, too. -It's like a giant ant farm. - -02:12:57.430 --> 02:12:59.933 -- What? -- I thought I saw something. - -02:13:11.405 --> 02:13:13.240 -You've read my mind. - -02:13:13.907 --> 02:13:16.827 -- I did? -- So few clients are able to read my mind. - -02:13:16.910 --> 02:13:19.496 -They're not open to the experience. - -02:13:27.629 --> 02:13:28.880 -My God! - -02:13:29.589 --> 02:13:33.719 -We just have to pray the other closets -are bigger than this one. - -02:13:34.052 --> 02:13:35.220 -Look! - -02:13:36.221 --> 02:13:37.973 -Ozzie and Harriet. - -02:13:40.559 --> 02:13:42.310 -- What happened to these people? -- They died. - -02:13:42.394 --> 02:13:44.479 -Look, an indoor outhouse. - -02:13:49.735 --> 02:13:52.904 -- Viridian. -- Viridian. Why do I know that name? - -02:13:53.405 --> 02:13:54.823 -Blue-green! - -02:13:55.574 --> 02:13:57.578 -Hydrated chromic oxide. - -02:13:57.953 --> 02:14:01.457 -Remember, I'm schooled in chemistry. -I was a hair analyst. - -02:14:01.540 --> 02:14:03.125 -- What? -- Briefly. - -02:14:09.089 --> 02:14:11.216 -Deliver me from L.L. Bean. - -02:14:13.635 --> 02:14:17.264 -I know what you two are up to and -you're not going to get away with it! - -02:14:17.347 --> 02:14:18.974 -This is not working out. - -02:14:19.058 --> 02:14:23.103 -I will not stop living and breathing art -just because you need to relax. - -02:14:23.729 --> 02:14:26.356 -I'm here with you. I'll live with you -in this hellhole. - -02:14:26.440 --> 02:14:31.195 -But I must express myself. If I can't -gut this house and make it my own... - -02:14:31.779 --> 02:14:34.865 -...I will go insane -and I will take you with me! - -02:14:37.076 --> 02:14:40.704 -Yeah. Well, maybe the house -could use a little remodeling. - -02:14:40.788 --> 02:14:44.208 -But why don't you just leave -this room alone, okay? - -02:14:45.542 --> 02:14:46.460 -Okay. - -02:14:52.343 --> 02:14:53.761 -I'll get her. - -02:14:54.595 --> 02:14:55.471 -So? - -02:14:55.554 --> 02:15:00.226 -Once you cover the wallpaper, knock down -a few walls, this place might be livable. - -02:15:00.309 --> 02:15:03.104 -- What's on the third floor? -- Attic space. - -02:15:03.187 --> 02:15:05.606 -I forgot to lock the attic door. - -02:15:13.364 --> 02:15:15.408 -- Did you feel something? -- When? - -02:15:24.625 --> 02:15:27.586 -- You don't have a key? -- Maybe Charles does. - -02:15:27.753 --> 02:15:32.049 -I have a feeling there's something -very interesting behind this door. - -02:15:32.133 --> 02:15:35.970 -Yeah, the ghosts of the people who died -in this house, and they want us out! - -02:15:36.053 --> 02:15:37.972 -Let's do them a favor. - -02:15:54.866 --> 02:15:56.868 -My God, that was close! - -02:15:58.745 --> 02:16:00.580 -I cannot watch this. - -02:16:01.247 --> 02:16:04.292 -What's the good of being a ghost -if you can't frighten people away? - -02:16:04.375 --> 02:16:07.003 -- Honey? -- No, I'm not putting up with this! - -02:16:17.096 --> 02:16:19.932 -- You don't know what's out there. -- I don't care. - -02:16:28.983 --> 02:16:30.276 -Barbara! - -02:16:30.860 --> 02:16:31.903 -Adam! - -02:16:33.446 --> 02:16:36.074 -Adam, help. I'm getting all yellow! - -02:17:16.950 --> 02:17:19.911 -We're trapped in this house -with those people. - -02:17:24.958 --> 02:17:28.795 -I can't believe we're eating Cantonese. -Is there no Szechwan up here? - -02:17:28.878 --> 02:17:32.342 -I plan to have a stroke from the amount -of MSG in this food. - -02:17:32.592 --> 02:17:37.472 -This is our first meal in this house, -so let's try to make it a pleasant one. - -02:17:38.765 --> 02:17:40.767 -Don't bait your mother. - -02:17:41.017 --> 02:17:44.646 -When we get settled, we'll build you -a darkroom in the basement. - -02:17:45.021 --> 02:17:47.274 -My whole life is a darkroom. - -02:17:48.024 --> 02:17:49.776 -One big dark room. - -02:17:51.695 --> 02:17:56.450 -You were miserable in New York City, -and you'll be miserable in the sticks. - -02:17:56.575 --> 02:17:58.452 -At least someone's life -hasn't been upheaved. - -02:17:58.535 --> 02:18:03.165 -I'm happy here. Those people in New York -don't know what they're missing. - -02:18:07.586 --> 02:18:10.338 -We could become The Summer Art Center -of New York. - -02:18:10.422 --> 02:18:13.300 -I could start sculpting again. -I'm only truly happy when I'm sculpting. - -02:18:13.383 --> 02:18:17.054 -That's a very good idea. -That'll be very time-consuming. - -02:18:17.596 --> 02:18:19.931 -First the house. -Otho and I have great plans. - -02:18:20.015 --> 02:18:22.017 -We should keep it the way it is. - -02:18:22.100 --> 02:18:23.477 -Good idea. - -02:18:28.650 --> 02:18:32.029 -The furniture truck is coming. -We must decide what goes and what stays. - -02:18:32.112 --> 02:18:35.115 -Everything goes, -along with whatever's in the attic. - -02:18:52.758 --> 02:18:54.051 -Careful. - -02:18:54.301 --> 02:18:58.055 -Tell me what you do and I'll tell you -why my husband will fire you. - -02:18:59.473 --> 02:19:02.059 -- Isn't there an index? -- No, nothing. - -02:19:04.311 --> 02:19:05.771 -What's this? - -02:19:11.819 --> 02:19:14.613 -Do you know where that's going? -Did anyone tell you where... - -02:19:14.696 --> 02:19:17.576 -Why are there only three sculptures? -There were four sculptures. - -02:19:17.660 --> 02:19:19.829 -Where's the fourth sculpture? - -02:19:19.912 --> 02:19:21.706 -What are you doing? - -02:19:27.086 --> 02:19:30.423 -"Betelgeuse, the bio-exorcist. -Troubled by the living? - -02:19:30.506 --> 02:19:33.050 -"Is death a problem and not the solution? -Unhappy with eternity? - -02:19:33.134 --> 02:19:36.303 -"Having difficulty adjusting? -Call Betelgeuse." - -02:19:39.682 --> 02:19:41.892 -There's no number or instructions? - -02:19:41.976 --> 02:19:45.062 -Nothing. The "bio-exorcist." I don't get it. - -02:19:49.525 --> 02:19:51.068 -Straight back. - -02:19:53.279 --> 02:19:56.282 -Why don't you take a break -for half an hour? - -02:20:17.138 --> 02:20:18.639 -Put that down! - -02:20:18.723 --> 02:20:20.600 -What the hell are you doing? - -02:20:20.683 --> 02:20:22.560 -- Listen to me! -- Jesus! - -02:20:24.228 --> 02:20:27.648 -Why are you doing this to me? -This is my art and it is dangerous. - -02:20:27.732 --> 02:20:30.068 -Do you think I want to die like this? - -02:20:44.582 --> 02:20:46.292 -Hi. How are you? - -02:20:55.259 --> 02:20:57.303 -That little girl saw us. - -02:20:57.804 --> 02:21:00.223 -- Nobody can see us. -- But she did. - -02:21:02.767 --> 02:21:05.522 -- What happened to the previous owners? -- They drowned. - -02:21:05.605 --> 02:21:08.525 -Yes, they were family. I was devastated. - -02:21:08.650 --> 02:21:11.027 -- Here, take that. -- Is this the key to the attic? - -02:21:11.111 --> 02:21:15.198 -That's a skeleton key that will open -any door. Give that to your father. - -02:21:15.782 --> 02:21:19.411 -You might mention I single-handedly -decorated that house. - -02:21:19.494 --> 02:21:23.289 -If he needs any advice in that arena -have him come see me. - -02:21:43.852 --> 02:21:45.937 -Don't worry. I locked the door. - -02:22:03.665 --> 02:22:07.961 -Having trouble with the living? -Tired of having your home violated? - -02:22:08.045 --> 02:22:09.963 -Want to get rid of them -pesky living critters? - -02:22:10.047 --> 02:22:14.009 -Well, come on down and see me, -the afterlife's leading bio-exorcist. - -02:22:14.092 --> 02:22:17.512 -Yes, sirree! I want to tell you, -I'll do anything! - -02:22:20.182 --> 02:22:24.269 -I'll scare 'em real bad. -I'll do anything to get your business. - -02:22:24.478 --> 02:22:27.230 -Hell! I'll possess myself if I gotta! - -02:22:27.689 --> 02:22:30.609 -Yo! I got demons runnin' all through me. - -02:22:31.234 --> 02:22:33.195 -Come on down and see it. - -02:22:33.278 --> 02:22:36.490 -If you act now, you get a free -demon possession with every exorcism. - -02:22:36.573 --> 02:22:38.533 -You can't beat that, can you? - -02:22:38.617 --> 02:22:43.497 -Bring the little partners. We've got plenty -of snakes for them to play with. - -02:22:44.081 --> 02:22:48.168 -Say it once, say it twice, -third time's a charm. And remember... - -02:22:48.251 --> 02:22:51.673 -"I'll eat anything you want me to eat. -Swallow anything you want me to swallow. - -02:22:51.757 --> 02:22:54.385 -"So, come on down, I'll chew on the dog." - -02:23:22.913 --> 02:23:27.251 -We need some help. I read something -in this book about emergencies. - -02:23:28.085 --> 02:23:31.338 -Here it is. -"In case of emergency, draw a door." - -02:23:36.218 --> 02:23:40.139 -"Draw a door"? I don't know why -we keep looking in that stupid book. - -02:23:42.891 --> 02:23:45.521 -Maybe we should try that Beetle guy. - -02:24:00.995 --> 02:24:04.081 -You didn't actually think -that would work, did you? - -02:24:06.751 --> 02:24:08.502 -"Knock three times." - -02:25:10.817 --> 02:25:12.110 -Birdies! - -02:25:20.910 --> 02:25:22.161 -Get it! - -02:25:22.995 --> 02:25:24.038 -Dad? - -02:25:24.455 --> 02:25:27.708 -- Can't you see I'm relaxing? -- I want to tell you what I saw. - -02:25:27.792 --> 02:25:31.548 -What is the point of my coming here -if you people won't let me relax? - -02:25:31.631 --> 02:25:33.550 -Pumpkin, sweetheart... - -02:25:34.676 --> 02:25:36.636 -...go help your mother. - -02:25:36.720 --> 02:25:39.764 -Maybe you can relax in a haunted house, -but I can't. - -02:25:45.145 --> 02:25:46.938 -Hmm, nice building. - -02:25:47.063 --> 02:25:49.107 -Bad roof. Good parking. - -02:26:21.014 --> 02:26:23.016 -- Adam? -- This way, honey. - -02:26:35.363 --> 02:26:37.365 -You don't have an appointment. - -02:26:37.449 --> 02:26:39.659 -- We didn't know how to make one. -- Appointment for what? - -02:26:39.743 --> 02:26:41.745 -- What do you want? -- Help? - -02:26:41.828 --> 02:26:45.791 -Already? Just bit the big one -two months ago and you want help. - -02:26:45.874 --> 02:26:48.126 -What does that have to do with anything? - -02:26:48.210 --> 02:26:51.338 -You'll use up all your help vouchers: D-90s. - -02:26:52.089 --> 02:26:55.175 -You spend 125 years on earth -in that house... - -02:26:55.675 --> 02:26:59.971 -...during which you get only three class-one -D-90 intercessions with Juno. - -02:27:00.055 --> 02:27:02.974 -You probably haven't read through -the manual completely yet. - -02:27:03.058 --> 02:27:06.019 -You'll have to wait if you don't have -an appointment. - -02:27:06.103 --> 02:27:09.689 -- An appointment with whom? -- For Juno, your caseworker. - -02:27:13.777 --> 02:27:16.071 -Number 54,000,601. Ferndock! - -02:28:22.975 --> 02:28:25.478 -- Want a cigarette? -- No, thank you. - -02:28:26.771 --> 02:28:29.065 -I'm trying to cut down myself. - -02:28:46.248 --> 02:28:49.126 -Adam, is this what happens when you die? - -02:28:50.086 --> 02:28:52.338 -This is what happens when you die. - -02:28:52.421 --> 02:28:55.674 -That is what happens when he dies. -And that is what happens when they die. - -02:28:55.758 --> 02:28:58.803 -It's all very personal. -I'll tell you something. - -02:28:58.886 --> 02:29:03.057 -If I knew then what I know now, -I wouldn't have had my little accident. - -02:29:08.731 --> 02:29:10.650 -Maitland. Party of two. - -02:29:10.733 --> 02:29:13.319 -Take the handbook -and go to the sixth door. - -02:29:13.403 --> 02:29:15.571 -Oh, we forgot our handbook. - -02:29:19.909 --> 02:29:20.910 -Come on. - -02:29:26.749 --> 02:29:30.294 -All new arrivals, -report to waiting room number eight. - -02:29:32.797 --> 02:29:35.508 -Flight 409 is arriving at gate three. - -02:29:36.634 --> 02:29:39.178 -How do I look? -There are no mirrors on this side. - -02:29:39.262 --> 02:29:41.139 -- You look fine. -- Fine. - -02:29:41.597 --> 02:29:44.225 -Thanks. I've been feeling a little flat. - -02:29:48.896 --> 02:29:51.899 -Will the Peterson party -report to door number nine. - -02:29:53.443 --> 02:29:56.362 -Peterson party, please report -to door number nine. - -02:29:57.905 --> 02:30:01.035 -All new arrivals, -report to waiting room number eight. - -02:30:07.667 --> 02:30:10.170 -125 years. I can't believe this. - -02:30:10.879 --> 02:30:13.131 -I can't believe they didn't tell us. - -02:30:16.009 --> 02:30:18.011 -Oh, Adam, what is this? - -02:30:22.348 --> 02:30:24.601 -That's the Lost Souls' Room. - -02:30:25.268 --> 02:30:28.063 -A room for ghosts -that have been exorcised. - -02:30:29.189 --> 02:30:30.648 -Poor devils. - -02:30:30.857 --> 02:30:32.984 -That's death for the dead. - -02:30:34.194 --> 02:30:36.279 -It's all in the handbook. - -02:30:36.488 --> 02:30:37.947 -Keep moving. - -02:30:42.744 --> 02:30:43.912 -Five. - -02:30:45.497 --> 02:30:47.499 -This is the sixth door. - -02:30:54.382 --> 02:30:57.511 -Boy, this place just gets weirder -and weirder. - -02:31:08.605 --> 02:31:10.023 -We're home! - -02:31:10.982 --> 02:31:14.069 -Look at this place! Everything's different. - -02:31:15.946 --> 02:31:18.031 -All our furniture's gone. - -02:31:18.698 --> 02:31:21.326 -How long do you suppose -we were waiting there? - -02:31:21.410 --> 02:31:22.911 -Three months. - -02:31:24.079 --> 02:31:27.082 -I'd almost given up on you. -I was about to leave. - -02:31:27.165 --> 02:31:29.209 -I do have other clients. - -02:31:29.751 --> 02:31:32.337 -- Are you Juno, our caseworker? -- Yes. - -02:31:32.421 --> 02:31:35.507 -I evaluate individual cases and determine... - -02:31:35.757 --> 02:31:38.885 -...if help is needed, deserved and available. - -02:31:39.094 --> 02:31:40.053 -Are you available? - -02:31:40.137 --> 02:31:41.179 -No. - -02:31:42.389 --> 02:31:44.935 -- What's wrong? -- We're very unhappy. - -02:31:45.644 --> 02:31:48.063 -What did you expect? You're dead! - -02:31:48.147 --> 02:31:52.401 -We want to get rid of the people here. -We worked hard on this house. - -02:31:52.484 --> 02:31:55.487 -We probably wouldn't mind sharing -the house with people who were... - -02:31:55.571 --> 02:31:57.948 -- More like you used to be. -- Yes. - -02:31:58.115 --> 02:31:59.742 -But these people! - -02:32:01.785 --> 02:32:03.787 -Things seem quiet here. - -02:32:04.913 --> 02:32:08.000 -You should thank God -you didn't die in Italy. - -02:32:08.459 --> 02:32:09.877 -The Deetzes. - -02:32:10.043 --> 02:32:13.172 -- Have you been studying the manual? -- We tried. - -02:32:14.131 --> 02:32:17.968 -The intermediate interface chapter -on haunting says it all. - -02:32:18.135 --> 02:32:21.096 -Get them out yourselves! It's your house. - -02:32:22.264 --> 02:32:25.017 -Haunted houses aren't easy to come by. - -02:32:25.100 --> 02:32:27.519 -- We don't quite get it. -- I heard. - -02:32:27.603 --> 02:32:29.438 -Tore your faces off. - -02:32:29.605 --> 02:32:33.734 -It's useless to pull off your heads -in front of people who can't see you. - -02:32:33.817 --> 02:32:36.236 -- We should start simply? -- Start simply. - -02:32:36.320 --> 02:32:39.241 -Do what you know. -Use your talents. Practice. - -02:32:41.035 --> 02:32:44.830 -You should have been studying -those lessons since day one. - -02:32:46.957 --> 02:32:48.542 -I've got to go. - -02:32:48.667 --> 02:32:51.170 -What about that guy in the flyer, Betel... - -02:32:52.463 --> 02:32:55.758 -Don't even say his name. -You don't want his help. - -02:32:56.884 --> 02:32:57.802 -We might. - -02:32:57.885 --> 02:33:01.180 -No, you don't. -He does not work well with others. - -02:33:02.723 --> 02:33:04.433 -What do you mean? - -02:33:08.604 --> 02:33:10.564 -I didn't want to bring it up. - -02:33:10.648 --> 02:33:14.610 -But rather than have you make -another mistake, I'll tell you. - -02:33:15.820 --> 02:33:17.655 -He was my assistant. - -02:33:18.072 --> 02:33:21.242 -But he was a troublemaker. -He went out on his own... - -02:33:21.325 --> 02:33:23.702 -...as a freelance bio-exorcist. - -02:33:24.703 --> 02:33:28.666 -Claimed he could get rid of the living. -Got into more trouble. - -02:33:32.630 --> 02:33:36.384 -I believe he's been sleazing -around your cemetery lately. - -02:33:38.344 --> 02:33:41.097 -The only way he can be brought back... - -02:33:41.264 --> 02:33:44.016 -...is by calling his name three times. - -02:33:45.017 --> 02:33:47.103 -But I strongly suggest... - -02:33:47.520 --> 02:33:50.356 -...that you remove the Deetzes yourselves. - -02:33:51.065 --> 02:33:52.442 -How do we contact you... - -02:33:52.525 --> 02:33:54.569 -...if we need you again? - -02:34:04.370 --> 02:34:07.081 -Oh, Adam, that guy's in our cemetery. - -02:34:07.790 --> 02:34:11.419 -She's right. We just keep this simple. -We can do this. - -02:34:35.487 --> 02:34:37.322 -Hey, you, come here! - -02:34:38.114 --> 02:34:39.365 -Hungry? - -02:34:40.116 --> 02:34:42.202 -Come on. Hey, come here. - -02:34:43.453 --> 02:34:46.414 -I got something good for you. -Come on over. - -02:34:46.498 --> 02:34:49.375 -We'll have a little bite, something to nosh. - -02:34:50.835 --> 02:34:52.670 -- Come here! -- Help me! - -02:34:57.467 --> 02:35:01.763 -Maxie, haven't I always made you money? -That's the only real question. - -02:35:01.846 --> 02:35:06.351 -Nobody made me money like you. -You were a demon until your nerves went. - -02:35:06.768 --> 02:35:08.478 -It's just that... - -02:35:09.104 --> 02:35:12.440 -...Winter River, Connecticut is, -if you'll forgive me, nowhere. - -02:35:12.524 --> 02:35:15.693 -Why would I want to invest that kind -of money in an old building... - -02:35:15.777 --> 02:35:19.449 -...way the hell up there! -- It's not a building. That's the beauty. - -02:35:19.533 --> 02:35:23.495 -The people don't know the value of their -property. I can buy the whole town. - -02:35:23.578 --> 02:35:26.456 -Then we own a whole town -in the middle of nowhere. - -02:35:26.915 --> 02:35:28.417 -Come and see. - -02:35:28.542 --> 02:35:30.210 -And bring Sarah. - -02:35:30.961 --> 02:35:34.631 -All right, Charles. -It's just that I am kind of busy here. - -02:35:34.714 --> 02:35:36.258 -Just a minute. - -02:35:37.426 --> 02:35:40.679 -Listen. Enough of this talk -about visiting, okay? I gotta go. - -02:35:40.762 --> 02:35:43.348 -You take it easy up there, big fellow. - -02:35:43.432 --> 02:35:45.600 -- Good-bye. -- Max, wait, wait. - -02:35:50.564 --> 02:35:51.481 -Putz. - -02:36:12.129 --> 02:36:16.216 -Lydia, is Connecticut so boring? -I had Maxie Dean on the phone. - -02:36:16.508 --> 02:36:20.345 -Dad's found a way of making money -while I relax, so would you scram? - -02:36:22.306 --> 02:36:26.351 -Your mother will kill you when she sees -you cut holes in her $300 sheets. - -02:36:29.271 --> 02:36:32.775 -This is so corny. Is this what -we've been reduced to? Sheets? - -02:36:32.858 --> 02:36:34.777 -Think of them as death shrouds. - -02:36:34.860 --> 02:36:37.404 -And the moaning is important. -Really moan! - -02:36:55.756 --> 02:36:58.258 -God, how can he stand that woman? - -02:37:04.848 --> 02:37:07.812 -Cut it out! I'm a child, for God's sakes. - -02:37:16.362 --> 02:37:19.782 -- I feel so stupid. -- It's not stupid. We're ghosts! - -02:37:20.366 --> 02:37:23.577 -Do you want to spend the next 125 years -having breakfast with this woman? - -02:37:23.661 --> 02:37:25.121 -Moan louder. - -02:37:33.504 --> 02:37:34.797 -Oh, God! - -02:37:42.847 --> 02:37:44.932 -Sick. Sexual perversion. - -02:37:45.182 --> 02:37:48.352 -Do that weird sexual stuff -in your own bedroom. - -02:37:54.567 --> 02:37:56.026 -Ah, no feet. - -02:38:08.291 --> 02:38:11.002 -Are you the guys hiding in the attic? - -02:38:11.085 --> 02:38:12.587 -We're ghosts! - -02:38:14.088 --> 02:38:16.883 -- What do you look like under there? -- Aren't you scared? - -02:38:16.966 --> 02:38:20.261 -I'm not scared of sheets. -Are you gross under there? - -02:38:20.344 --> 02:38:22.972 -Are you Night of the Living Dead -under there? - -02:38:23.055 --> 02:38:25.391 -Like all bloody veins and pus? - -02:38:25.475 --> 02:38:28.644 -- "Night of the," what? -- "Living Dead." It's a movie. - -02:38:28.728 --> 02:38:31.856 -If I had seen a ghost at your age, -I would have been scared out of my wits. - -02:38:31.939 --> 02:38:35.026 -You're not gross. -Why are you wearing sheets? - -02:38:35.777 --> 02:38:37.403 -We're practicing. - -02:38:37.487 --> 02:38:41.240 -- You can see us without the sheets? -- Of course I can see you. - -02:38:41.324 --> 02:38:43.743 -How can you see us and nobody else can? - -02:38:45.078 --> 02:38:48.664 -I read through that -Handbook for the Recently Deceased. - -02:38:48.748 --> 02:38:52.337 -It says, "Live people ignore -the strange and unusual." - -02:38:54.214 --> 02:38:56.633 -I myself am strange and unusual. - -02:38:58.510 --> 02:39:00.178 -You look normal. - -02:39:01.638 --> 02:39:03.681 -- You read our book? -- Yes. - -02:39:03.932 --> 02:39:06.976 -- You could follow it? -- Yes. Why were you in Delia's bedroom? - -02:39:07.060 --> 02:39:09.604 -- Trying to scare your mother. -- Stepmother. - -02:39:09.771 --> 02:39:13.399 -You can't scare her. -She's sleeping with Prince Valium. - -02:39:16.694 --> 02:39:18.113 -You did this? - -02:39:18.196 --> 02:39:20.782 -You carved these houses and things? - -02:39:22.242 --> 02:39:24.619 -And this used to be your house. - -02:39:25.078 --> 02:39:27.288 -Why do you want to scare everybody? - -02:39:27.372 --> 02:39:30.291 -We wanted to frighten you -so you would move out. - -02:39:32.168 --> 02:39:34.212 -You don't know the Deetzes. - -02:39:34.295 --> 02:39:38.258 -My father bought this place. -He never walks away from equity. - -02:39:38.383 --> 02:39:42.137 -- Why don't you leave? -- We haven't left since the funeral. - -02:39:43.430 --> 02:39:44.722 -Funeral! - -02:39:45.265 --> 02:39:47.644 -God! You guys really are dead. - -02:39:50.480 --> 02:39:52.149 -This is amazing. - -02:39:54.067 --> 02:39:55.610 -- I better go. -- Wait. - -02:39:55.694 --> 02:40:00.282 -- Don't tell your parents we're here. -- Unless it will frighten them away. - -02:40:00.407 --> 02:40:02.659 -Tell them we are horrible... - -02:40:02.868 --> 02:40:05.162 -...desperate, ghoulish creatures -who will stop at nothing... - -02:40:05.245 --> 02:40:07.330 -...to get our house back. - -02:40:09.624 --> 02:40:13.879 -What if this is a dream? Can you do -any tricks to prove I'm not dreaming? - -02:40:18.508 --> 02:40:22.846 -If you are real ghosts, you better get -another routine because those sheets... - -02:40:22.929 --> 02:40:24.723 -...they don't work. - -02:40:34.274 --> 02:40:35.525 -Ghosts. - -02:40:35.609 --> 02:40:38.153 -You're telling me we have ghosts -in this house. - -02:40:38.236 --> 02:40:40.532 -Those pictures are of ghosts. - -02:40:40.866 --> 02:40:42.117 -Ghosts! - -02:40:42.743 --> 02:40:46.497 -Lydia, I am giving a dinner party -tonight for seven people. - -02:40:46.580 --> 02:40:50.125 -My agent, Bernard, is bringing a woman -who writes for Art in America. - -02:40:50.209 --> 02:40:54.004 -In fact, no one dining here -has not been in Vanity Fair except you. - -02:40:54.630 --> 02:40:56.632 -I told them you were too mean to be afraid. - -02:40:56.715 --> 02:40:58.759 -Don't you dare speak to others about me! - -02:40:58.842 --> 02:41:02.930 -Being embarrassed in front of the few -people who will set foot in here scares me. - -02:41:03.013 --> 02:41:05.390 -So let's play family just for tonight. - -02:41:11.188 --> 02:41:13.357 -Lydia's trying, but they don't believe her. - -02:41:13.440 --> 02:41:15.150 -She's got photos. - -02:41:15.859 --> 02:41:18.403 -Adam, you have a photo of Bigfoot. - -02:41:19.071 --> 02:41:21.990 -My photo of Bigfoot is a different story. - -02:41:22.324 --> 02:41:26.870 -We've got to get some help. We've got -to contact Betelmeyer or something. - -02:41:40.594 --> 02:41:41.762 -Look. - -02:41:46.058 --> 02:41:47.935 -It's him. Betelgeuse. - -02:41:50.062 --> 02:41:51.230 -Betelgeuse. - -02:41:53.232 --> 02:41:55.234 -Go ahead, Barbara, say it. - -02:41:56.360 --> 02:41:57.778 -Betelgeuse! - -02:42:01.907 --> 02:42:03.451 -What happened? - -02:42:04.577 --> 02:42:06.746 -I think we're in the model. - -02:42:10.207 --> 02:42:11.709 -Look at that. - -02:42:34.901 --> 02:42:36.819 -Where is he? What do we do? - -02:42:41.032 --> 02:42:42.784 -Looks like we dig. - -02:43:13.314 --> 02:43:14.982 -It's about time! - -02:43:23.451 --> 02:43:26.704 -- I say we open it. -- Maybe we should knock first. - -02:43:44.639 --> 02:43:46.099 -Adam. Babs. - -02:43:54.107 --> 02:43:58.403 -You can pick 'em! Is this -a solid relationship? Do I have a shot? - -02:43:58.611 --> 02:44:01.614 -- Excuse me. -- Sure. Am I overstepping my bounds? - -02:44:01.698 --> 02:44:06.161 -It's beautiful! You picked me. -You didn't have to, but you picked me. - -02:44:06.411 --> 02:44:09.330 -It makes me want to kiss you guys! -Come on, give me one. - -02:44:09.414 --> 02:44:11.166 -I beg your pardon! - -02:44:11.499 --> 02:44:13.420 -Let's get down to business. - -02:44:13.503 --> 02:44:16.256 -I've got a card here somewhere. -Here. Who do I have to kill? - -02:44:16.339 --> 02:44:18.383 -- Hold that for me. -- Whoa! - -02:44:19.634 --> 02:44:22.012 -- There you go. -- You don't have to kill anybody! - -02:44:22.095 --> 02:44:26.850 -Possession! Learn to throw your voice. -Fool your friends. Fun at parties. - -02:44:26.933 --> 02:44:30.353 -No. We just want to get some people -out of our house. - -02:44:30.437 --> 02:44:34.608 -I understand. In order to do that, -I'll have to get to know you. - -02:44:34.900 --> 02:44:37.527 -We've got to get closer. -Move in with you for a while. - -02:44:37.611 --> 02:44:40.739 -Get to be real pals. -You know what I'm saying? - -02:44:40.906 --> 02:44:42.824 -Save that guy for later. - -02:44:42.908 --> 02:44:45.202 -My wife and I have some questions. - -02:44:45.285 --> 02:44:47.287 -Sure, go ahead. Shoot. - -02:44:47.579 --> 02:44:49.623 -What are your qualifications? - -02:44:49.706 --> 02:44:53.627 -Well, I attended Juilliard. I'm a graduate -of Harvard Business School. - -02:44:53.710 --> 02:44:57.255 -I travel extensively. -I lived through the Black Plague. - -02:44:57.339 --> 02:45:00.217 -I've seen The Exorcist about 167 times... - -02:45:00.300 --> 02:45:03.762 -...and it keeps getting funnier -every time I see it! - -02:45:04.137 --> 02:45:06.767 -Not to mention the fact -that you're talking to a dead guy! - -02:45:06.850 --> 02:45:10.020 -Now what do you think? -You think I'm qualified? - -02:45:11.105 --> 02:45:12.815 -Can you be scary? - -02:45:13.107 --> 02:45:16.443 -Oh! I know what you're asking me. -Can I be scary? - -02:45:18.403 --> 02:45:20.531 -What do you think of this? - -02:45:20.948 --> 02:45:22.407 -You like it? - -02:45:23.492 --> 02:45:26.995 -- Will you excuse us, please? -- Sure. Talk amongst yourselves. - -02:45:27.079 --> 02:45:30.249 -- Let's go. -- I know, but he can be useful later. - -02:45:30.457 --> 02:45:33.460 -- We can work something ourselves. -- Oh, yeah! - -02:45:34.503 --> 02:45:36.213 -- Excuse me! -- What? - -02:45:36.338 --> 02:45:38.132 -We are leaving now. - -02:45:38.340 --> 02:45:39.842 -Don't go yet. - -02:45:40.509 --> 02:45:44.680 -Come on, we're simpatico. -Look at us. We shop at the same store. - -02:45:45.514 --> 02:45:47.015 -Hey, hermano. - -02:45:47.516 --> 02:45:49.309 -Yeah, there you go. - -02:45:51.103 --> 02:45:53.188 -We're like peas in a pod. - -02:45:53.522 --> 02:45:57.776 -You want someone out of the house. -I want to get someone out of your house. - -02:45:57.860 --> 02:46:01.198 -Look! You've been to Saturn. -I've been to Saturn! - -02:46:01.532 --> 02:46:03.242 -Whoa. Sandworms. - -02:46:04.076 --> 02:46:06.954 -You hate 'em, right? I hate 'em myself. - -02:46:07.371 --> 02:46:11.041 -Kids, what do I have to do -to strike a deal with you two? - -02:46:18.549 --> 02:46:21.469 -- Don't you hate it when that happens? -- Let's go, Barbara! - -02:46:21.552 --> 02:46:24.847 -Come up for a while. -We'll talk inside. Come on. - -02:46:25.014 --> 02:46:27.266 -- I'm not staying. -- The place is a mess. - -02:46:27.349 --> 02:46:29.518 -We have to get out of here. - -02:46:30.019 --> 02:46:31.520 -Home! Home! Home! - -02:46:33.314 --> 02:46:34.732 -How did you do that? - -02:46:34.815 --> 02:46:36.734 -Hope you like Italian. - -02:46:37.109 --> 02:46:39.820 -Where'd you go? Hey, where'd you go? - -02:46:39.987 --> 02:46:42.490 -Hey! You've got to work with me here. - -02:46:42.573 --> 02:46:45.117 -I'm just trying to cut a deal. -What do you want me to do? - -02:46:45.201 --> 02:46:46.744 -Where are you? - -02:46:47.036 --> 02:46:48.871 -You bunch of losers! - -02:46:49.622 --> 02:46:52.500 -You're working with a professional here! - -02:46:56.756 --> 02:46:58.549 -Nice fucking model! - -02:46:59.050 --> 02:47:01.469 -We can do this stuff on our own. - -02:47:01.719 --> 02:47:04.931 -Besides, I'm not exposing -that little girl to that pervert. - -02:47:05.014 --> 02:47:08.017 -We did call him, -and he seemed awfully pissed off. - -02:47:08.101 --> 02:47:12.980 -I don't care. I've changed my mind. -We can scare them off ourselves... tonight. - -02:47:13.481 --> 02:47:15.066 -I have an idea. - -02:47:21.656 --> 02:47:24.575 -What you did with the place is wonderful. - -02:47:24.659 --> 02:47:26.202 -Not me. Them. - -02:47:27.745 --> 02:47:28.830 -So? - -02:47:33.835 --> 02:47:35.378 -You like them. - -02:47:35.920 --> 02:47:39.882 -I hope it wasn't yet another -of your dreary suicide attempts. - -02:47:40.216 --> 02:47:43.010 -You know what they say about people -who commit suicide? - -02:47:43.094 --> 02:47:46.057 -In the afterlife, they become civil servants. - -02:47:48.351 --> 02:47:51.312 -Otho, I didn't realize -you were into the supernatural. - -02:47:51.396 --> 02:47:53.481 -Of course! You remember. - -02:47:53.606 --> 02:47:56.276 -After my stint with the Living Theater... - -02:47:56.359 --> 02:47:59.946 -...I was one of New York's -leading paranormal researchers... - -02:48:00.029 --> 02:48:01.948 -...until the bottom dropped out in '72. - -02:48:02.031 --> 02:48:05.618 -Paranormal? Is that what -they're calling your kind these days? - -02:48:06.035 --> 02:48:10.540 -Don't mind her. She's still upset that -somebody dropped a house on her sister. - -02:48:13.751 --> 02:48:16.045 -Well, this looks really good. - -02:48:17.714 --> 02:48:19.466 -I saw some ghosts. - -02:48:25.722 --> 02:48:29.309 -- It's a private joke Lydia and I share. -- It's not a joke. - -02:48:29.392 --> 02:48:33.730 -Yes, it is. Just today she tried -to convince me this house is haunted. - -02:48:35.732 --> 02:48:38.026 -Kids! You know, I love them! - -02:48:39.905 --> 02:48:42.616 -- Ghosts? -- In designer sheets, no less. - -02:48:43.658 --> 02:48:47.037 -I'd like to propose a toast -to our intrepid friends... - -02:48:47.120 --> 02:48:50.207 -...who braved the expressway -and two dozen tollbooths to be with us. - -02:48:50.290 --> 02:48:52.334 -May your buildings go condo. - -02:48:54.002 --> 02:48:56.546 -Lydia, favor us about your ghosts. - -02:48:56.963 --> 02:48:59.341 -No! I am sick of that subject. - -02:48:59.591 --> 02:49:01.343 -Delia, lighten up. - -02:49:01.927 --> 02:49:04.096 -I would rather talk about... - -02:49:19.486 --> 02:49:21.029 -That's cute, Delia. - -02:49:33.335 --> 02:49:35.420 -Otho, are you doing this? - -02:51:03.094 --> 02:51:04.470 -We did it! - -02:51:06.097 --> 02:51:07.890 -Let's watch them scatter. - -02:51:07.973 --> 02:51:11.644 -Any minute now they'll come -running out of that door screaming. - -02:51:14.897 --> 02:51:16.398 -Any minute now. - -02:51:23.616 --> 02:51:25.201 -It's me, Lydia. - -02:51:28.579 --> 02:51:30.498 -They want you to come downstairs. - -02:51:30.581 --> 02:51:33.584 -Delia says you can wear -any sheets you want. - -02:51:34.585 --> 02:51:37.380 -It was like being in an amusement park. - -02:51:37.755 --> 02:51:38.673 -Wham! - -02:51:38.881 --> 02:51:42.593 -- I didn't know I could do the calypso. -- Who has more fun than us? - -02:51:42.677 --> 02:51:45.388 -We're dealing with Tracy and Hepburn. - -02:51:45.721 --> 02:51:49.308 -A very sophisticated pair. -They even appear in sheets. - -02:51:50.768 --> 02:51:53.980 -Charles, why didn't you tell us -about this before? - -02:51:55.481 --> 02:52:00.194 -We're not sure we want our secret out. -Everyone will want them for parties. - -02:52:00.278 --> 02:52:02.029 -People will pay big money for this. - -02:52:02.113 --> 02:52:06.117 -The Enquirer is offering $50,000 -for proof of life after death. - -02:52:07.952 --> 02:52:10.955 -This is it, Charles. -You can get Maxie Dean up here now. - -02:52:11.038 --> 02:52:14.127 -- You think so? -- Sarah loves the supernatural. - -02:52:15.044 --> 02:52:17.255 -She'll have him sprint up here -in his helicopter... - -02:52:17.338 --> 02:52:20.008 -...if you can produce ghosts for her. - -02:52:23.511 --> 02:52:26.473 -I should remind you that I'm Delia's agent. - -02:52:26.556 --> 02:52:28.892 -I have lost money on her work for years. - -02:52:28.975 --> 02:52:31.561 -If anything happened here, I shall handle it. - -02:52:31.644 --> 02:52:33.980 -But not until I've seen real proof. - -02:52:34.063 --> 02:52:38.026 -- What about this table? -- What do you call what just happened? - -02:52:38.318 --> 02:52:40.820 -What money? -Don't you believe in my work? - -02:52:41.738 --> 02:52:43.239 -Here's Lydia. - -02:52:43.865 --> 02:52:46.493 -- Well? -- They don't want to come down. - -02:52:54.292 --> 02:52:55.585 -Why not? - -02:52:57.337 --> 02:53:01.466 -I think they were trying to scare you away, -and you didn't get scared. - -02:53:01.549 --> 02:53:04.803 -They're dead. -It's a little late to be neurotic. - -02:53:08.809 --> 02:53:10.185 -All right. - -02:53:15.941 --> 02:53:18.944 -This was not a hallucination. -This was real. - -02:53:20.278 --> 02:53:24.991 -We all experienced a super-powerful -paranormal experience and it was real. - -02:53:25.700 --> 02:53:29.204 -Delia, you are a flake. -You have always been a flake. - -02:53:30.038 --> 02:53:34.126 -If you insist on frightening people, -do it with your sculpture. - -02:53:35.293 --> 02:53:36.962 -Drive carefully! - -02:53:37.045 --> 02:53:38.964 -- I'm dead. -- Where do they hide? - -02:53:39.047 --> 02:53:41.424 -- The attic. -- The attic's locked. - -02:53:42.259 --> 02:53:44.845 -They're ghosts. -They can do what they want. - -02:53:44.928 --> 02:53:48.098 -They do whatever they want. -Take us up there right now. - -02:53:54.521 --> 02:53:57.691 -Fabulous! Otho Fenlock's -"Locked Door Ghosts!" - -02:53:57.941 --> 02:53:59.526 -Probably committed suicide up there. - -02:53:59.609 --> 02:54:01.697 -- I'm enchanted. -- In there? - -02:54:01.947 --> 02:54:04.867 -- They must live like animals. -- It's locked. How did they get in? - -02:54:04.950 --> 02:54:08.036 -Open this door, Dead People, -or we'll bust it down... - -02:54:08.120 --> 02:54:10.622 -...and drag you out by the ropes -you hanged yourself with! - -02:54:10.706 --> 02:54:13.125 -- They didn't commit suicide. -- It doesn't matter. - -02:54:13.208 --> 02:54:16.837 -I can teach you something here. -Take the upper hand in all situations... - -02:54:16.920 --> 02:54:19.798 -...or people, dead or alive, -will walk all over you. - -02:54:19.882 --> 02:54:21.175 -Open up! - -02:54:33.520 --> 02:54:35.105 -Where are they? - -02:54:35.272 --> 02:54:37.566 -These ghosts are nice people. - -02:54:37.941 --> 02:54:41.612 -I think we scared them away, -so let's leave them alone, all right? - -02:54:41.695 --> 02:54:43.781 -It's the whole damn town. - -02:54:45.032 --> 02:54:47.534 -I have never been so embarrassed. - -02:54:48.452 --> 02:54:50.370 -Have they gone for good? - -02:54:56.670 --> 02:54:58.088 -Dad, don't. - -02:54:58.422 --> 02:55:00.216 -Mom, let's just go. - -02:55:12.937 --> 02:55:14.522 -No ghosts here. - -02:55:17.316 --> 02:55:20.903 -Come on! If they are in here, -I don't want to scare them away. - -02:55:22.780 --> 02:55:26.033 -We're leaving now. -You can go about your business. - -02:55:28.202 --> 02:55:31.038 -- What are we doing? -- Quick, quick, quick. - -02:55:38.295 --> 02:55:41.423 -Oh, boy! You guys are really spooksters, -aren't you? - -02:55:42.424 --> 02:55:46.053 -Now, let's turn on the juice -and see what shakes loose. - -02:55:48.683 --> 02:55:52.478 -Otho, get Maxie on the phone. -We've really got something here. - -02:55:52.562 --> 02:55:56.607 -We can turn this place into the world's -leading supernatural research center. - -02:55:56.691 --> 02:55:59.819 -An amusement park. I'll do a presentation. -Lydia will bring the ghosts. - -02:55:59.902 --> 02:56:02.905 -I can't bring the ghosts. They're not here. - -02:56:02.989 --> 02:56:06.701 -- Otho, can't you do something? -- If I'm properly motivated. - -02:56:09.370 --> 02:56:12.123 -What type of motivation do you require? - -02:56:12.206 --> 02:56:16.085 -Why don't you leave them alone? -They didn't do anything to you. - -02:57:03.551 --> 02:57:06.179 -We've come for your daughter, Chuck. - -02:57:07.180 --> 02:57:08.556 -Stop! Stop! - -02:57:20.401 --> 02:57:23.113 -- Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse, Betelgeuse! -- Oh, no! - -02:57:25.156 --> 02:57:27.158 -Why are you doing this? - -02:57:28.827 --> 02:57:30.995 -Leave me alone, all of you! - -02:57:34.584 --> 02:57:39.506 -Great choice! We spend the next century -hanging out a window or doing tricks. - -02:57:40.090 --> 02:57:42.801 -Maybe they'll leave now. -That snake was a nasty customer. - -02:57:42.884 --> 02:57:45.011 -- He could've hurt somebody. -- But he didn't. - -02:57:45.095 --> 02:57:47.556 -We've got them where we want them. - -02:57:51.643 --> 02:57:55.605 -You losers! How dare you interrupt -a professional while he's working! - -02:57:55.689 --> 02:57:58.400 -I'm not fond of Charles, -but you could've killed him. - -02:57:58.483 --> 02:58:01.653 -I'm just doing my job! -I thought we had a deal. - -02:58:01.778 --> 02:58:03.864 -It's okay. You know why? - -02:58:04.322 --> 02:58:08.493 -I don't want to do business -with you deadbeats anyway, thank you. - -02:58:08.910 --> 02:58:12.747 -The only one I think I can deal with -is Edgar Allan Poe's daughter. - -02:58:12.831 --> 02:58:15.208 -- She understands me. -- Leave her alone! - -02:58:27.681 --> 02:58:29.975 -Go ahead, make my millennium. - -02:58:37.524 --> 02:58:41.111 -I'm feeling a little anxious, -if you know what I mean. - -02:58:41.570 --> 02:58:43.697 -It's been about 600 years. - -02:58:44.114 --> 02:58:47.201 -I wonder where an everyday Joe -like myself... - -02:58:47.951 --> 02:58:50.037 -...can find a little action. - -02:59:07.054 --> 02:59:09.139 -Yeah. Here I come, baby. - -02:59:13.519 --> 02:59:15.270 -Hey, Adam, nice move! - -02:59:16.939 --> 02:59:19.483 -- Why did you build that? -- I didn't. - -02:59:29.620 --> 02:59:31.956 -Will you guys shut up and leave me alone? - -02:59:32.039 --> 02:59:34.375 -I've got all this paperwork to do. - -02:59:36.669 --> 02:59:38.712 -You two, come in. Sit down. - -02:59:38.796 --> 02:59:40.881 -Get in here, both of you! - -02:59:44.510 --> 02:59:48.681 -The whorehouse was my idea. -I want Betelgeuse out of the picture. - -02:59:49.807 --> 02:59:51.976 -You two have really screwed up. - -02:59:52.476 --> 02:59:55.479 -I heard you allowed yourselves -to be photographed. - -02:59:55.563 --> 02:59:58.315 -You let Betelgeuse out -and didn't put him back. - -02:59:58.399 --> 03:00:00.776 -And you let Otho take the handbook! - -03:00:00.860 --> 03:00:02.027 -When? - -03:00:03.320 --> 03:00:05.322 -Never trust the living! - -03:00:05.906 --> 03:00:08.576 -We cannot have -a routine haunting like yours... - -03:00:08.659 --> 03:00:12.246 -...provide proof that there is existence -beyond death. - -03:00:13.080 --> 03:00:15.418 -Coach, where's the men's room? - -03:00:16.627 --> 03:00:19.130 -I'm not your coach. He survived. - -03:00:19.297 --> 03:00:21.382 -Let me get something straight. - -03:00:21.466 --> 03:00:24.093 -- What's our curfew? -- Get out of here! - -03:00:25.094 --> 03:00:27.680 -Go on, get downstairs! Men's room! - -03:00:28.264 --> 03:00:30.850 -Are you kidding? Can't you read signs? - -03:00:30.933 --> 03:00:32.727 -I'll be right back. - -03:00:44.989 --> 03:00:47.116 -Maybe this was a bad idea. - -03:00:47.492 --> 03:00:49.410 -I didn't say anything. - -03:00:51.370 --> 03:00:54.290 -Who are we kidding? -You've never had a bad idea. - -03:00:54.373 --> 03:00:55.541 -Yeah? - -03:00:58.294 --> 03:01:00.338 -This could all work out. - -03:01:02.006 --> 03:01:03.049 -Home. - -03:01:06.552 --> 03:01:09.182 -I'm not sure this is the right environment -for Lydia. - -03:01:09.265 --> 03:01:11.351 -- Snakes. Ghosts. -- Shrimp. - -03:01:12.936 --> 03:01:14.646 -You family types. - -03:01:14.938 --> 03:01:18.733 -You've got other things to worry about. -Maxie Dean is coming tonight. - -03:01:18.817 --> 03:01:22.320 -You have to sell these ghosts. -I can only do so much. - -03:01:22.737 --> 03:01:25.990 -What are you going to do? -Viciously rearrange their environment? - -03:01:26.074 --> 03:01:30.245 -I know as much about the supernatural -as I do about interior design. - -03:01:38.128 --> 03:01:39.420 -"I am... - -03:01:39.838 --> 03:01:40.964 -"...alone. - -03:01:51.516 --> 03:01:52.767 -"I am... - -03:01:53.685 --> 03:01:55.228 -"...utterly... - -03:01:55.478 --> 03:01:56.604 -"...alone. - -03:01:58.148 --> 03:01:59.732 -"By the time... - -03:02:01.528 --> 03:02:03.071 -"...you read this... - -03:02:03.780 --> 03:02:05.282 -"...I will... - -03:02:05.699 --> 03:02:06.950 -"...be gone... - -03:02:08.535 --> 03:02:10.287 -"...having jumped... - -03:02:12.581 --> 03:02:14.416 -"Having plummeted... - -03:02:16.334 --> 03:02:17.461 -"...off... - -03:02:18.253 --> 03:02:20.422 -"...the Winter River Bridge." - -03:02:23.508 --> 03:02:25.677 -I don't care what it takes. - -03:02:25.760 --> 03:02:28.388 -You get the Deetzes out of there now! - -03:02:29.723 --> 03:02:31.266 -Wait a minute. - -03:02:33.351 --> 03:02:35.103 -What are you going to do? - -03:02:35.687 --> 03:02:37.230 -To scare them. - -03:02:37.689 --> 03:02:40.775 -I want to make sure -it's not some silly parlor trick. - -03:02:41.401 --> 03:02:42.944 -I'll go first. - -03:03:05.177 --> 03:03:06.929 -Not bad. Not bad. - -03:03:08.347 --> 03:03:09.389 -Now you. - -03:03:09.932 --> 03:03:11.266 -Go ahead! - -03:03:26.198 --> 03:03:27.783 -You look great. - -03:03:28.450 --> 03:03:32.621 -Go clean house and don't forget -the photographs and the handbook. - -03:03:41.463 --> 03:03:42.965 -- Coach? -- What? - -03:03:44.508 --> 03:03:46.844 -I don't think we survived that crash. - -03:03:46.927 --> 03:03:48.597 -How did you guess? - -03:03:52.226 --> 03:03:54.145 -Mr. And Mrs. Maitland? - -03:03:58.899 --> 03:04:00.109 -Hello? - -03:04:01.277 --> 03:04:03.070 -- Where are you? -- Dead. - -03:04:04.613 --> 03:04:06.448 -Dead, dead, deadski. - -03:04:08.117 --> 03:04:09.994 -Of course they're dead. They're ghosts. - -03:04:10.077 --> 03:04:14.081 -No, I mean they're gone. Split. -Out of here. Afterlife kids. - -03:04:14.623 --> 03:04:17.042 -- Deceased. -- Are you a ghost, too? - -03:04:19.086 --> 03:04:21.630 -I'm the ghost with the most, babe. - -03:04:23.966 --> 03:04:26.760 -You look like somebody I can relate to. - -03:04:28.512 --> 03:04:31.390 -Maybe you could help me get out of here. - -03:04:31.849 --> 03:04:34.477 -I gotta tell you, this death thing... - -03:04:37.646 --> 03:04:39.064 -It's creepy. - -03:04:39.148 --> 03:04:40.902 -Here's my problem. - -03:04:41.319 --> 03:04:44.572 -I've got friends on the outside -I said I'd meet. - -03:04:44.989 --> 03:04:47.241 -I have to be there in person. - -03:04:47.325 --> 03:04:49.660 -So could you help me get out of here? - -03:04:50.787 --> 03:04:52.497 -I want to get in. - -03:04:53.498 --> 03:04:54.540 -Why? - -03:04:56.292 --> 03:05:00.087 -You've probably got your reasons, -but I can't do anything from here. - -03:05:00.171 --> 03:05:03.925 -If you could get me out, over there, -maybe we could talk. - -03:05:05.092 --> 03:05:08.596 -But to do that you've got -to say my name three times. - -03:05:08.679 --> 03:05:10.389 -What's your name? - -03:05:10.932 --> 03:05:12.642 -I can't tell you. - -03:05:13.184 --> 03:05:14.227 -Why not? - -03:05:14.769 --> 03:05:18.815 -If I tell you, you'll tell your friends, -they'll call me all the time. - -03:05:18.898 --> 03:05:22.985 -I've got to go to shopping centers for -openings, sign autographs, that shit. - -03:05:23.069 --> 03:05:26.155 -It makes my life hell, okay? A living hell. - -03:05:26.656 --> 03:05:30.576 -But maybe if you have a pen... -I know! Do you play charades? - -03:05:31.202 --> 03:05:32.662 -- Yeah. -- Good. - -03:05:33.204 --> 03:05:34.999 -Here we go. Ready? - -03:05:35.208 --> 03:05:36.584 -Two words. - -03:05:37.252 --> 03:05:38.461 -Right! - -03:05:40.004 --> 03:05:42.132 -First word, two syllables. - -03:05:42.841 --> 03:05:44.008 -Look. - -03:05:45.051 --> 03:05:46.511 -Turn around. - -03:05:48.221 --> 03:05:50.140 -I don't know what your signal means. - -03:05:50.223 --> 03:05:51.891 -Look behind you! - -03:05:52.600 --> 03:05:54.310 -Hi. How are you? - -03:05:54.769 --> 03:05:56.020 -Beetle. - -03:05:56.271 --> 03:05:58.022 -Got it. Now, two. - -03:06:01.234 --> 03:06:03.820 -Breakfast? Orange? Orange beetle? - -03:06:03.945 --> 03:06:05.446 -Beetle fruit? - -03:06:05.947 --> 03:06:07.657 -Beetle breakfast? - -03:06:08.700 --> 03:06:10.118 -Beetle drink? - -03:06:12.954 --> 03:06:14.456 -Beetle juice? - -03:06:14.581 --> 03:06:17.167 -- That's it! -- Your name's Beetlejuice? - -03:06:17.250 --> 03:06:20.670 -You said it twice. -Just say it once more. Come on. - -03:06:20.920 --> 03:06:23.465 -It was you, wasn't it? The snake. - -03:06:24.632 --> 03:06:27.596 -You kids and your imagination! -Just say it! - -03:06:28.722 --> 03:06:29.806 -No. - -03:06:31.600 --> 03:06:32.726 -I want to talk to Barbara. - -03:06:32.809 --> 03:06:35.979 -You don't need to talk to Barbara! -Just say it! - -03:06:39.983 --> 03:06:43.528 -Adam, I can't go through with it. -I like that little girl. - -03:06:43.612 --> 03:06:47.032 -But it's too late. -We have to go through with this. - -03:06:47.324 --> 03:06:49.659 -No, we don't. Can't we rebel? - -03:06:56.833 --> 03:06:58.877 -I want to be with Lydia. - -03:07:10.013 --> 03:07:11.932 -Come on! Just say it! - -03:07:14.142 --> 03:07:15.769 -No, don't say it! - -03:07:16.978 --> 03:07:18.230 -Say it! - -03:07:18.855 --> 03:07:21.610 -It's okay. It's us. What's going on? - -03:07:23.028 --> 03:07:24.321 -Beetle... - -03:07:24.822 --> 03:07:28.367 -He said if I let him out he would -take me to the other side to find you. - -03:07:28.450 --> 03:07:30.369 -No, Lydia, we're dead. - -03:07:32.913 --> 03:07:34.915 -- I want to be dead, too. -- No! - -03:07:43.549 --> 03:07:46.468 -Being dead doesn't make things any easier. - -03:07:46.552 --> 03:07:50.514 -Listen to her on this. -This is something we know a lot about. - -03:07:51.557 --> 03:07:54.309 -And you can visit us anytime you want. - -03:07:55.936 --> 03:07:59.731 -I have a feeling things are going -to be better from now on. - -03:08:00.691 --> 03:08:02.776 -What do you mean, better? - -03:08:02.985 --> 03:08:07.114 -We've decided we're going to invite -you and your family to stay. - -03:08:08.240 --> 03:08:09.700 -That's right. - -03:08:15.166 --> 03:08:18.502 -- Can't we bring Maxie up here? -- You've got a stake in this, too. - -03:08:18.586 --> 03:08:23.299 -This is a presentation. It requires -a sense of occasion, a sense of style. - -03:08:23.382 --> 03:08:26.010 -- It's big. How will we get it out? -- It's sectional. - -03:08:26.093 --> 03:08:27.928 -- Wait, there are plugs. -- Careful! - -03:08:28.012 --> 03:08:29.346 -Okay, go. - -03:08:31.182 --> 03:08:34.310 -- What's going on? -- I don't know. I'll find out. - -03:08:34.393 --> 03:08:35.811 -Be careful. - -03:08:37.188 --> 03:08:39.648 -We've got Ed Cornwell -to head the wax museum... - -03:08:39.732 --> 03:08:43.819 -...dedicated to 50 great moments -of the paranormal in Thanksgiving Park. - -03:08:43.903 --> 03:08:45.779 -You must remember Ed. - -03:08:46.739 --> 03:08:50.493 -He's the genius who gave us -the talking Marcel Marceau statue. - -03:08:52.203 --> 03:08:55.789 -And D-Con is on its knees -to sponsor the insect zoo... - -03:08:56.999 --> 03:08:59.293 -...in the old hardware store. - -03:08:59.668 --> 03:09:01.086 -We can't lose! - -03:09:07.343 --> 03:09:11.766 -Lydia, you decided to join us. -I just finished the initial presentation. - -03:09:11.849 --> 03:09:14.393 -Now it's time to have a stretch... - -03:09:14.894 --> 03:09:18.231 -...and to invite our friends -to meet your friends. - -03:09:18.898 --> 03:09:20.650 -Are they here yet? - -03:09:20.983 --> 03:09:23.778 -Charles, we're here to see some ghosts. - -03:09:25.863 --> 03:09:28.032 -They're not here... anymore. - -03:09:32.453 --> 03:09:34.914 -Every time she says that, the paint peels... - -03:09:34.997 --> 03:09:38.000 -...and some wild creature tries to kill us. - -03:09:39.544 --> 03:09:41.796 -But we have pictures, Lydia. - -03:09:41.963 --> 03:09:44.966 -Really. They said they'd come back -and we could all live here... - -03:09:45.049 --> 03:09:49.220 -...if you agreed not to tease them -or make them do stupid tricks. - -03:09:50.221 --> 03:09:52.640 -She has a tendency to overreact. - -03:09:53.141 --> 03:09:56.602 -Don't worry, we're not relying on her. -We have Otho. - -03:09:59.897 --> 03:10:03.194 -- Are they still here? -- Otho, are they still here? - -03:10:03.403 --> 03:10:06.531 -They're still here. They're just hiding out. - -03:10:07.240 --> 03:10:09.826 -They probably feel guilty -about what they did to me. - -03:10:09.909 --> 03:10:11.828 -They're sorry they didn't kill you. - -03:10:11.911 --> 03:10:13.955 -I just want to see them. - -03:10:16.416 --> 03:10:17.959 -Otho, can you do it? - -03:10:18.084 --> 03:10:21.212 -- It'll be tricky, but I think I can handle it. -- No! - -03:10:26.134 --> 03:10:29.596 -What am I worried about? -You can't even change a tire. - -03:10:32.515 --> 03:10:35.268 -I'll be needing -something personal of theirs. - -03:10:35.351 --> 03:10:37.520 -You'll have to go to the Goodwill. - -03:10:40.440 --> 03:10:41.816 -Excuse me. - -03:10:54.289 --> 03:10:56.124 -The wedding clothes. - -03:10:57.792 --> 03:10:59.169 -The words: - -03:11:07.469 --> 03:11:09.137 -"Hands vermilion - -03:11:09.596 --> 03:11:11.139 -"Start of five - -03:11:12.015 --> 03:11:13.475 -"Bright cotillion - -03:11:14.559 --> 03:11:16.061 -"Raven's dive - -03:11:17.020 --> 03:11:18.647 -"Nightshade's promise - -03:11:19.397 --> 03:11:20.982 -"Spirits strive - -03:11:22.150 --> 03:11:25.153 -"To the living, -let now the dead come alive" - -03:11:40.293 --> 03:11:41.586 -Barbara? - -03:11:43.839 --> 03:11:46.091 -"As sudden thunder pierces night - -03:11:47.384 --> 03:11:49.680 -"As magic wonder mad affright - -03:11:50.222 --> 03:11:52.474 -"Rives asunder man's delight - -03:11:53.976 --> 03:11:55.894 -"Our ghost, our corpse - -03:11:57.020 --> 03:11:58.814 -"And we rise to be" - -03:12:08.991 --> 03:12:10.033 -Help! - -03:12:18.458 --> 03:12:19.751 -Stop it! - -03:12:22.504 --> 03:12:24.339 -"As flies the lizard - -03:12:24.464 --> 03:12:25.716 -"Serpent fell - -03:12:26.175 --> 03:12:28.177 -"As goblin vizard at the spell - -03:12:29.636 --> 03:12:32.431 -"The buried, dead and slain rise again" - -03:13:19.647 --> 03:13:21.732 -What's happening to them? - -03:13:23.025 --> 03:13:24.276 -I don't know. - -03:13:25.861 --> 03:13:27.404 -They're dying! - -03:13:27.488 --> 03:13:30.199 -They're already dead. -They can't feel a thing. - -03:13:31.075 --> 03:13:34.161 -- That's not true! Look at them! -- That's enough. - -03:13:34.245 --> 03:13:35.957 -Can we stop this? - -03:13:38.000 --> 03:13:40.586 -It's too late, Charles. I'm sorry. - -03:13:48.511 --> 03:13:51.055 -Where are you? Help them, please. - -03:13:55.184 --> 03:13:58.479 -Sure, I can help them. -But you've got to help me. - -03:13:58.563 --> 03:14:01.524 -- What? -- I'm what you call an illegal alien. - -03:14:01.649 --> 03:14:05.319 -I want out for good. -To do that, I've gotta get married. - -03:14:07.238 --> 03:14:11.325 -These aren't my rules. Come to think of it, -I don't have any rules. - -03:14:12.201 --> 03:14:13.494 -Come on. - -03:14:14.203 --> 03:14:17.248 -Think of it as a marriage of inconvenience. -We both get something. - -03:14:17.331 --> 03:14:21.335 -I get out. You get the most -eligible bachelor since Valentino. - -03:14:21.627 --> 03:14:24.172 -- We're even. -- Okay, just help them. - -03:14:27.466 --> 03:14:28.636 -Sure. - -03:14:39.147 --> 03:14:40.607 -Beetlejuice. - -03:14:48.990 --> 03:14:50.575 -It's show time. - -03:15:08.218 --> 03:15:10.136 -Attention, K-Mart shoppers: - -03:15:21.274 --> 03:15:25.737 -I'm back. I feel real good about myself. -You know what I mean? So... - -03:15:26.071 --> 03:15:27.906 -...without further delay... - -03:15:29.324 --> 03:15:31.284 -...welcome to Winter River! - -03:15:31.368 --> 03:15:33.411 -Museum of Natural Greed! - -03:15:33.662 --> 03:15:35.831 -A monument to the bored businessman. - -03:15:35.914 --> 03:15:39.668 -Come a little closer. -Step right up! Test your strength. - -03:16:01.857 --> 03:16:03.233 -Thank you. - -03:16:03.358 --> 03:16:05.068 -Thank you! Whew! - -03:16:06.444 --> 03:16:10.073 -That is why I won't do -two shows a night anymore, babe. - -03:16:10.532 --> 03:16:12.117 -I won't do 'em. - -03:16:12.242 --> 03:16:15.205 -Well, what have we got here tonight, kids? - -03:16:18.167 --> 03:16:20.210 -We've got the Maitlands. - -03:16:20.460 --> 03:16:23.380 -I think they've had enough exercise -for tonight. - -03:16:30.387 --> 03:16:33.473 -Not so fast, Round Boy. -We're gonna have some laughs. - -03:16:53.952 --> 03:16:55.287 -Mom, Dad: - -03:16:58.415 --> 03:17:01.293 -I just want you two to know -you're welcome in our house... - -03:17:01.376 --> 03:17:03.670 -...anytime you want to come over. - -03:17:03.754 --> 03:17:06.632 -In the meantime, the dowry's on me, Dad. - -03:17:10.930 --> 03:17:15.434 -The Maitlands are taken care of. -Everything seems to be back to normal. - -03:17:20.523 --> 03:17:21.857 -Shall we? - -03:17:32.243 --> 03:17:34.620 -Called the caterer. He's got a great band. - -03:17:34.703 --> 03:17:37.498 -We're gonna need witnesses. Would you? - -03:18:27.925 --> 03:18:30.136 -Let's get on with the ceremony. - -03:18:30.219 --> 03:18:31.804 -Do you, Betel... - -03:18:33.389 --> 03:18:36.893 -- Nobody says the "B" word. -- Do you take this woman... - -03:18:37.560 --> 03:18:39.687 -...to be your wedded wife? - -03:18:40.563 --> 03:18:43.149 -I don't know. It's a big decision. - -03:18:43.232 --> 03:18:47.111 -I always said if I ever did it, -I was gonna do it only once. - -03:18:48.070 --> 03:18:49.489 -Sure. Go ahead. - -03:18:49.572 --> 03:18:52.116 -And do you, Lydia, take this man... - -03:18:52.783 --> 03:18:54.243 -No! Betel... - -03:18:55.997 --> 03:18:59.584 -She's a little nervous. -Maybe I should answer for her. - -03:18:59.751 --> 03:19:01.669 -I'm Lydia Deetz and I'm of sound mind. - -03:19:01.753 --> 03:19:04.297 -The man next to me is the one I want. -You asked me. - -03:19:04.380 --> 03:19:07.383 -I'm answering. -Yes, I love that man of mine. - -03:19:08.051 --> 03:19:09.093 -Come on. - -03:19:13.097 --> 03:19:14.390 -Come on. - -03:19:15.600 --> 03:19:16.976 -Betelgeu... - -03:19:22.607 --> 03:19:23.817 -Scram! - -03:19:25.652 --> 03:19:26.945 -Come on! - -03:19:28.613 --> 03:19:29.948 -Hey, guy. - -03:19:33.117 --> 03:19:35.537 -May we continue with the ceremony? - -03:19:38.248 --> 03:19:40.166 -- Then by... -- Betelgeuse. - -03:19:50.136 --> 03:19:51.388 -Strike! - -03:19:54.641 --> 03:19:56.059 -Let's roll! - -03:19:56.309 --> 03:19:58.937 -Then by the authority vested in me... - -03:19:59.604 --> 03:20:02.232 -- The ring, please. -- The ring! Oh, no! - -03:20:10.282 --> 03:20:12.075 -I've got it, honey. - -03:20:28.133 --> 03:20:30.218 -Here it is. Here you go. - -03:20:30.844 --> 03:20:33.763 -She meant nothing to me. Nothing at all! - -03:20:40.228 --> 03:20:42.524 -- I now pronounce you... -- Yeah, come on. - -03:20:44.401 --> 03:20:45.736 -Man and... - -03:21:45.172 --> 03:21:47.716 -- What time is it? -- It's about 3:30. - -03:21:49.051 --> 03:21:50.886 -Give or take a year. - -03:21:57.476 --> 03:21:58.644 -Well? - -03:21:59.895 --> 03:22:00.980 -Did you get the paints? - -03:22:01.063 --> 03:22:04.567 -Yes. And I took pictures -of the new town hall for you, too. - -03:22:04.650 --> 03:22:06.569 -How was the science test? - -03:22:06.652 --> 03:22:09.738 -It was gross. -They wanted me to dissect a frog. - -03:22:09.822 --> 03:22:13.242 -I told them "no way." I said it was -against my religion. I got a "C." - -03:22:13.325 --> 03:22:15.077 -And the math test? - -03:22:16.745 --> 03:22:21.041 -You're kidding me? We spent -the whole week studying for that test. - -03:22:21.375 --> 03:22:22.877 -I got an "A." - -03:22:23.127 --> 03:22:24.503 -So, can I? - -03:22:25.171 --> 03:22:28.174 -I don't know. -Got a "C" on the science test. - -03:22:29.969 --> 03:22:32.889 -Don't tease her. -You never got on "A" in science... - -03:22:37.602 --> 03:22:38.895 -Come on. - -03:22:40.563 --> 03:22:41.814 -Well... - -03:22:42.857 --> 03:22:44.317 -...I suppose. - -03:23:00.917 --> 03:23:03.002 -This reads like stereo instructions. - -03:23:03.085 --> 03:23:05.796 -Sounds like Lydia got an "A" -on the math test. - -03:23:08.090 --> 03:23:09.550 -He likes it. - -03:23:50.260 --> 03:23:52.595 -Sorry. Didn't see you sitting there. - -03:23:54.514 --> 03:23:55.723 -Women. - -03:23:56.766 --> 03:23:59.269 -I don't know what her problem is. - -03:24:00.061 --> 03:24:01.479 -Normally, chicks... - -03:24:16.121 --> 03:24:18.081 -Pardon me. Did you do that? - -03:24:18.165 --> 03:24:19.541 -Nice work. - -03:24:19.749 --> 03:24:21.835 -How do you get them so small? - -03:24:21.918 --> 03:24:23.879 -There goes Elvis! Yo, King! - -03:24:26.673 --> 03:24:28.800 -Well, looks like I'm next. - -03:24:30.844 --> 03:24:35.473 -Good thing. I've got to do a photo shoot -for G.Q. In an hour and a half. - -03:24:36.474 --> 03:24:40.353 -They've been after me for months. -Some kind of underwear deal. - -03:24:42.022 --> 03:24:44.941 -What are you doing? Stop it. -You're messing up my hair. - -03:24:45.025 --> 03:24:47.110 -Come on! Whoa! Stop it! - -03:24:50.697 --> 03:24:53.074 -This might be a good look for me. - -03:28:15.410 --> 03:28:17.954 -Subtitles conformed by SOFTITLER -