From cc68c31ca485655c1208f4108bd5ba3db54d3594 Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Aevann Date: Mon, 2 Oct 2023 09:37:13 +0300 Subject: [PATCH] change subtitles --- files/assets/subtitles.vtt | 13736 +++++++++++++++++++---------------- 1 file changed, 7643 insertions(+), 6093 deletions(-) diff --git a/files/assets/subtitles.vtt b/files/assets/subtitles.vtt index 43e265f99e..6327e50dbb 100644 --- a/files/assets/subtitles.vtt +++ b/files/assets/subtitles.vtt @@ -1,6195 +1,7745 @@ WEBVTT -00:00:02.501 --> 00:00:03.832 -Alpa chino! +00:00:02.000 --> 00:00:07.000 +Downloaded from +YTS.MX -00:00:03.936 --> 00:00:07.069 -We're loaded I love -the pussy, hell, yeah +00:00:08.000 --> 00:00:13.000 +Official YIFY movies site: +YTS.MX -00:00:07.172 --> 00:00:08.571 -I love the pussy, hell, yeah +00:01:13.408 --> 00:01:15.994 +There 's 100,000 streets in this city. -00:00:08.674 --> 00:00:11.336 -I love that pussy -dripping down to the floor, oh, no +00:01:17.036 --> 00:01:19.456 +You don't need to know the route. -00:00:11.443 --> 00:00:13.934 -the wettest pussy, hell, yeah -I love the pussy, hell, yeah +00:01:20.039 --> 00:01:22.125 +You give me a time and a place, -00:00:14.046 --> 00:00:17.140 -I'm drinking up -your Booty sweat and busting a nut +00:01:22.208 --> 00:01:24.544 +I give you a five-minute window. -00:00:17.249 --> 00:00:19.012 -alpa chino got that pussy control +00:01:25.170 --> 00:01:28.923 +Anything happens +in that five minutes and I'm yours. -00:00:19.118 --> 00:00:21.018 -alpa chino's Booty sweat. +00:01:29.007 --> 00:01:30.508 +No matter what. -00:00:21.120 --> 00:00:22.553 -Pop an ass open! +00:01:31.092 --> 00:01:33.595 +Anything happens a minute +either side of that -00:00:22.655 --> 00:00:26.147 -Booty sweat and bust-a-nut bars -available at concessions now. +00:01:33.678 --> 00:01:35.597 +and you're on your own. -00:00:30.262 --> 00:00:34.392 -In 2013, when the earth's rotation -came to a halt... +00:01:36.347 --> 00:01:38.016 +Do you understand? -00:00:34.500 --> 00:00:38.061 -The president has declared -all of north America a disaster area. - -00:00:38.170 --> 00:00:40.866 -I call on my fellow Americans -to come together... - -00:00:40.973 --> 00:00:45.000 -The world called on the one man -who could make a difference. - -00:00:49.048 --> 00:00:53.075 -When it happened again, -the world called on him once more. - -00:00:54.486 --> 00:01:00.356 -And no one saw it coming -three more times! - -00:01:02.895 --> 00:01:04.556 -Now, - -00:01:04.663 --> 00:01:08.599 -the one man who made a difference -five times before, - -00:01:11.036 --> 00:01:15.405 -is about to make a difference again. - -00:01:16.141 --> 00:01:20.237 -Only this time, it's different. - -00:01:22.081 --> 00:01:23.708 -Who left the fridge open? - -00:01:25.150 --> 00:01:27.084 -Tugg speedman. - -00:01:27.186 --> 00:01:31.953 -Scorcher vl: Global meltdown. - -00:01:32.057 --> 00:01:33.820 -Here we go again. - -00:01:35.361 --> 00:01:36.361 -Again. - -00:01:44.970 --> 00:01:47.837 -Will there be anything else? - -00:01:47.940 --> 00:01:51.137 -Yes, my dear man. More beans. - -00:01:52.945 --> 00:01:55.106 -Granny! - -00:01:57.049 --> 00:01:58.209 -Please! - -00:01:58.317 --> 00:02:03.277 -This summer, -America's favorite obese family is back. - -00:02:06.158 --> 00:02:07.716 -Gross! - -00:02:07.826 --> 00:02:09.851 -- You're just mad 'cause I'm skinny. -- Am not! - -00:02:10.429 --> 00:02:11.919 -Jeff portnoy. - -00:02:12.598 --> 00:02:14.065 -Jeff portnoy. - -00:02:14.666 --> 00:02:16.156 -Jeff portnoy. - -00:02:16.268 --> 00:02:22.366 -And Jeff portnoy are -the fatties: Fart two. - -00:02:22.474 --> 00:02:24.305 -In some countries, - -00:02:25.511 --> 00:02:27.138 -it's considered a compliment. - -00:02:27.246 --> 00:02:30.443 -Letting loose this summer. - -00:02:39.725 --> 00:02:45.459 -In a time where to be different -was to be condemned, - -00:02:59.211 --> 00:03:03.910 -and to be condemned was to die, - -00:03:08.153 --> 00:03:12.214 -one man chose to question his God. - -00:03:16.195 --> 00:03:17.890 -From fox searchlight, - -00:03:26.738 --> 00:03:29.969 -five-time academy award winner -kirk Lazarus - -00:03:31.076 --> 00:03:35.410 -and mtv movie award -best kiss winner tobey Maguire. - -00:03:41.787 --> 00:03:46.315 -Winner of the Beijing film festival's -coveted crying monkey award, - -00:03:47.526 --> 00:03:49.517 -Satan's alley. - -00:03:54.032 --> 00:03:56.557 -I've been a bad, bad boy, father. - -00:04:32.070 --> 00:04:34.868 -In the winter of 1969, - -00:04:34.973 --> 00:04:36.998 -an elite force of the U.S. army - -00:04:37.109 --> 00:04:41.978 -was sent on a top-secret assignment -in southeast Vietnam. - -00:04:42.080 --> 00:04:44.844 -The objective, -rescue sergeant four leaf tayback - -00:04:44.950 --> 00:04:48.010 -from a heavily guarded -nva prison camp. - -00:04:48.120 --> 00:04:51.214 -The mission was considered -to be near suicide. - -00:04:52.524 --> 00:04:55.823 -Of the 10 men sent, four returned. - -00:04:55.928 --> 00:04:59.364 -Of those four, three wrote books -about what happened. - -00:04:59.464 --> 00:05:02.433 -Of those three, two were published. - -00:05:02.534 --> 00:05:06.698 -Of those two, just one got a movie deal. - -00:05:08.207 --> 00:05:13.440 -This is the story of the men -who attempted to make that movie. - -00:05:24.256 --> 00:05:26.850 -Whiskey fire old snake -requests an lz prep - -00:05:26.959 --> 00:05:29.519 -at Alpha-delta-two-four-eight-niner, -over. - -00:05:34.833 --> 00:05:39.099 -Floyd, this is lead. Right Echelon -approach from rp to lz, acknowledge. - -00:05:40.239 --> 00:05:42.002 -Floyd, wall-eye airborne. -Welcome aboard. - -00:05:45.844 --> 00:05:47.573 -All right, lead's going in. -Give her some cover. - -00:05:47.679 --> 00:05:50.512 -Delivery on five. -I repeat, delivery on five. - -00:05:56.588 --> 00:05:58.886 -This is zero-three. -I'm on your six, don't worry. - -00:05:59.224 --> 00:06:01.852 -Chalk-three's taking fire. -Guns right, guns right. - -00:06:13.905 --> 00:06:16.032 -Lay that shit down! - -00:06:16.141 --> 00:06:17.438 -Come on! - -00:06:19.278 --> 00:06:21.576 -Come on, you damn dirty heathens! - -00:06:23.515 --> 00:06:25.710 -Fats! Run your motherfucking ass -over there, - -00:06:25.817 --> 00:06:27.114 -hold these men off, now! - -00:06:27.219 --> 00:06:28.914 -We're fixing to lift off! - -00:06:29.021 --> 00:06:31.649 -Put some pep in your step, dick! -Jelly-ass bitch! - -00:06:31.757 --> 00:06:35.056 -Wall-eye, wall-eye, -this is boomer one-seven in the zee! - -00:06:35.894 --> 00:06:39.295 -I need fast movers -on my yankee smoke, copy? - -00:06:39.398 --> 00:06:41.764 -Boomer, this is wall-eye. -I got two-Alpha-four - -00:06:41.867 --> 00:06:44.097 -- snake and nape on the ready! -- Oh, Jesus! Holy shit! - -00:06:44.202 --> 00:06:45.362 -Holy shit! - -00:06:45.470 --> 00:06:47.267 -Get on that horn -and get some firepower, boy! - -00:06:47.372 --> 00:06:48.372 -Jesus Christ! - -00:06:48.440 --> 00:06:49.532 -Listen, you cherry fuck, - -00:06:49.641 --> 00:06:53.133 -you call in that snake and nape -and get us some boom-boom now! - -00:06:53.245 --> 00:06:55.713 -I'd do it myself -but I'm kind of goddamn busy! - -00:06:55.814 --> 00:06:57.179 -I need an answer, boomer! - -00:06:57.282 --> 00:06:58.977 -Wall-eye, wall-eye! - -00:06:59.418 --> 00:07:00.783 -I copy! - -00:07:01.019 --> 00:07:03.317 -We got beaucoup zips in the zee. - -00:07:03.422 --> 00:07:04.912 -Rock and roll! - -00:07:05.290 --> 00:07:06.780 -What the fuck? - -00:07:18.737 --> 00:07:21.171 -That's for Brooklyn, motherfucker! - -00:07:21.273 --> 00:07:23.207 -I think I can put it back in! - -00:07:23.308 --> 00:07:25.071 -We got to get back to the bird. - -00:07:25.177 --> 00:07:26.269 -Lukemeyer's got popped! - -00:07:26.378 --> 00:07:29.313 -This is the last Christmas -I spend with Victor Charlie up my ass! - -00:07:29.481 --> 00:07:32.177 -Want some? Get some! - -00:07:32.617 --> 00:07:35.450 -Hey, yo, fats! I ain't seen four leaf! - -00:07:35.554 --> 00:07:38.750 -Don't count him out! That bastard's -got luck tattooed to his ass! - -00:07:38.890 --> 00:07:41.882 -Motown, get your Detroit jukebox -jheri curl ass - -00:07:41.993 --> 00:07:44.223 -in this chickenshit chop-chop! Asafp! - -00:07:44.329 --> 00:07:46.209 -Four leaf is still -outside the perimeter, sarge! - -00:07:46.264 --> 00:07:49.290 -Miss me with that cracker chump jive! -We di di mau! We di di mau! - -00:07:49.434 --> 00:07:51.061 -Come on, sarge. Stop jiving. -Four leaf is there. - -00:07:51.169 --> 00:07:52.864 -Dead meat, soldier! - -00:07:53.071 --> 00:07:54.971 -Or do you want to be a hero? - -00:07:55.073 --> 00:07:57.073 -That's just how Brooks -got his Jew ass killed, man. - -00:07:57.075 --> 00:07:59.771 -And meatball's dago ass -bought the six-by-three farm. - -00:07:59.878 --> 00:08:03.575 -Now get your ass up in the huey, before -I stomp a trench in your hiney hole! - -00:08:05.183 --> 00:08:06.582 -Come on, get down, get down! - -00:08:06.685 --> 00:08:08.710 -What am I looking at? What is this? - -00:08:09.621 --> 00:08:13.580 -Come on, let's get, let's go! -Come on, elevator up, up! - -00:08:13.692 --> 00:08:16.217 -Sarge. It's four leaf. - -00:08:28.507 --> 00:08:29.565 -No! - -00:08:31.910 --> 00:08:33.434 -You get out of that hole! - -00:08:45.490 --> 00:08:47.355 -You make it home, now. - -00:08:54.800 --> 00:08:56.062 -Survive! - -00:09:10.849 --> 00:09:12.874 -I hope y'all like hamburger meat. - -00:09:12.984 --> 00:09:15.064 -'Cause that's exactly what -I'm gonna be bringing back - -00:09:15.153 --> 00:09:17.178 -and serving up in this whirly bird. - -00:09:17.289 --> 00:09:19.780 -Cover me, you limp dick fuckups! - -00:09:25.430 --> 00:09:28.661 -Peek-a-boo! I see you! - -00:09:30.702 --> 00:09:32.431 -Hold on, four leaf! - -00:09:35.073 --> 00:09:36.404 -Oh, shit! - -00:09:44.216 --> 00:09:45.706 -Watch my right! - -00:09:48.487 --> 00:09:50.455 -Fuck you, Charlie! - -00:09:55.427 --> 00:09:57.691 -Come on, leaf, let's boogie! - -00:10:04.870 --> 00:10:07.730 -No! - -00:10:10.909 --> 00:10:13.002 -- Fats! -- Holy fuck! - -00:10:14.279 --> 00:10:16.839 -Take us over to those men! Shit! - -00:10:21.319 --> 00:10:24.288 -Look at you, man. -Playing with grenades. - -00:10:27.792 --> 00:10:29.054 -I'm cold, Linc. - -00:10:31.096 --> 00:10:32.927 -I can't feel my legs. - -00:10:34.065 --> 00:10:36.056 -Ain't nothing but a thang. - -00:10:39.638 --> 00:10:40.969 -Hey, Linc. - -00:10:41.940 --> 00:10:43.305 -What, man? - -00:10:44.543 --> 00:10:46.636 -Why does man - -00:10:46.745 --> 00:10:49.680 -got to pick up sticks -against another man? - -00:10:51.883 --> 00:10:54.181 -Instead of using them sticks to - -00:10:55.554 --> 00:10:57.146 -prop a man up? - -00:10:57.255 --> 00:10:58.882 -I'll never know. - -00:11:00.191 --> 00:11:04.358 -Hold my hands, 'cause -I got something to... - -00:11:04.462 --> 00:11:06.327 -I got something to say. - -00:11:07.732 --> 00:11:09.393 -Oh, boy. - -00:11:13.538 --> 00:11:16.234 -- You holding 'em? -- I got 'em tight. - -00:11:18.977 --> 00:11:20.638 -When we get back to the world, - -00:11:21.112 --> 00:11:25.276 -we gonna put together that three-piece -combo band we talked about? - -00:11:25.383 --> 00:11:28.375 -- Me on stand-up bass. -- Johnny on drums. - -00:11:29.854 --> 00:11:31.981 -And me tickling the ivories. - -00:11:34.092 --> 00:11:37.357 -I ain't never been worth a nothing -in this life, - -00:11:37.462 --> 00:11:40.226 -but I want you to know something. - -00:11:41.299 --> 00:11:42.596 -What, man? - -00:11:44.502 --> 00:11:45.799 -You are my... - -00:11:47.305 --> 00:11:49.000 -You are my brother. - -00:12:01.987 --> 00:12:07.015 -You are my brother. -You are my... you are my... - -00:12:07.192 --> 00:12:08.819 -I am your brother. - -00:12:12.330 --> 00:12:14.059 -I'm sorry. Could we cut? - -00:12:14.165 --> 00:12:15.766 -- What's he saying? -- Damien, can we cut? - -00:12:15.767 --> 00:12:17.428 -- No. No, no, no, no, no... -- All right, you know what? - -00:12:17.535 --> 00:12:20.527 -We got the jets coming in, -big explosion, two minutes. - -00:12:20.639 --> 00:12:21.731 -Still rolling. - -00:12:21.840 --> 00:12:23.467 -You know what? No, not still rolling. -Can we cut? - -00:12:23.575 --> 00:12:25.236 -- We're cutting. -- No, we're not. Get out! - -00:12:25.343 --> 00:12:27.343 -Hey, what's going on? -For real, my butt is hurting! - -00:12:27.412 --> 00:12:29.539 -This harness is riding up my crack! - -00:12:29.648 --> 00:12:32.116 -- Damien, are we cutting? -- No! No! Still rolling! - -00:12:32.217 --> 00:12:34.344 -Mr. cockburn! Are we cutting, sir? - -00:12:34.452 --> 00:12:37.615 -No! No. I'm not cutting! -We're still rolling! - -00:12:37.722 --> 00:12:38.780 -Damien, what's the dealy, dude? - -00:12:38.890 --> 00:12:40.687 -Are we gonna blow -this tree line or what? - -00:12:40.792 --> 00:12:42.353 -Tuk tuk and Kim -got the blue balls here. - -00:12:42.460 --> 00:12:43.688 -I'm gonna let them squirt if we're a go! - -00:12:43.795 --> 00:12:46.115 -- Play it through. Still rolling! -- Dieter, can he hear me? - -00:12:46.131 --> 00:12:48.691 -That's c-4, dipshit. Put that back. -I said a detonator. - -00:12:48.800 --> 00:12:51.166 -I need some dudes up here -who speak American, God damn it! - -00:12:51.269 --> 00:12:52.830 -He's making -a fucking sweater back here. - -00:12:52.837 --> 00:12:55.169 -I'm trying to put tiger balm -on this jungle's nuts. - -00:12:55.273 --> 00:12:56.433 -Everyone, please shut up. - -00:12:56.541 --> 00:12:58.742 -The jets are coming in. -We only have one chance at this! - -00:12:58.810 --> 00:13:00.209 -And go! - -00:13:00.311 --> 00:13:02.609 -Let's do it. You feel it? -You feel me? - -00:13:03.615 --> 00:13:05.981 -- You are my... -- I am your brother. - -00:13:06.451 --> 00:13:08.316 -We've seen it all, man. - -00:13:09.054 --> 00:13:10.054 -I'm sorry, Damien? - -00:13:10.155 --> 00:13:11.452 -Are you seeing that? - -00:13:11.556 --> 00:13:13.956 -The little froggy on the boom Mike? -It's right in my eyeline. - -00:13:15.860 --> 00:13:17.555 -Donny! What's up, man? - -00:13:18.229 --> 00:13:19.196 -It's been there the whole show. - -00:13:19.330 --> 00:13:20.354 -Yeah, well it's right in my face, - -00:13:20.465 --> 00:13:21.454 -I'm staring at a frog, -I'm trying to feel... - -00:13:21.566 --> 00:13:24.126 -It's always the yellow frog that -brings them black frog on Fridays, man. - -00:13:24.235 --> 00:13:25.930 -Hell, no, I didn't pee on that girl. - -00:13:26.037 --> 00:13:28.130 -No, I didn't pee on her, -listen, listen, listen, listen. No, no. - -00:13:28.239 --> 00:13:30.764 -The story is this. She was in the way -when I was peeing, she walked past. - -00:13:30.875 --> 00:13:33.241 -What the fuck is going on here? - -00:13:33.344 --> 00:13:35.505 -On three, baby. One, two, breathe. - -00:13:35.613 --> 00:13:38.138 -Look, do me a favor. I don't want to do -a countdown before I do the scene. - -00:13:38.249 --> 00:13:39.307 -- No countdown? -- No countdown. - -00:13:39.417 --> 00:13:40.611 -- Okay. -- Can we just do it off of "action"? - -00:13:40.719 --> 00:13:42.277 -Just... in your own time. - -00:13:42.387 --> 00:13:44.184 -- Good... -- I'm not a rocket ship, okay? - -00:13:44.289 --> 00:13:45.916 -- All right, dude. -- And action! - -00:13:46.024 --> 00:13:48.959 -Whatever floats your boat, baby. -Fuck! Don't die! - -00:13:49.060 --> 00:13:51.494 -Erika, get me a vitaminwater! - -00:13:51.596 --> 00:13:53.157 -You know what it is, Damien? I'm sorry. - -00:13:53.164 --> 00:13:57.567 -Not to get into his thing, but if -I'm crying, should osiris be crying, too? - -00:13:57.669 --> 00:13:59.569 -- No, it's everyone cry... -- We cutting or we crying? - -00:13:59.671 --> 00:14:01.002 -- No, no, no, we're crying! -- Just call it, man! - -00:14:01.106 --> 00:14:03.233 -- Kirk, you can cry. Tugg, you can cry. -- Thanks! - -00:14:03.341 --> 00:14:05.070 -- Everybody cry... -- You know what? - -00:14:05.176 --> 00:14:07.144 -- You see how agitated he is now? -- I know. - -00:14:07.245 --> 00:14:09.725 -- Let's make lemonade. Let's go to work. -- Okay. Still rolling! - -00:14:10.081 --> 00:14:12.743 -This is falcon one. We have the Ridge -in sight, approximately two Miles out. - -00:14:12.851 --> 00:14:15.115 -Dieter, these jets -are about to crest this Ridge line. - -00:14:15.220 --> 00:14:17.154 -They got about 200 pounds -of shit your pants. - -00:14:17.255 --> 00:14:18.695 -I need to know if we're ready to go. - -00:14:21.059 --> 00:14:23.357 -- You're my... you're my... -- I am your... - -00:14:23.461 --> 00:14:26.919 -See, that's what I think it is, Damien. -I think it's the line. - -00:14:27.031 --> 00:14:28.055 -Yeah? - -00:14:28.166 --> 00:14:30.031 -I don't know if four leaf -would say that... four leaf? - -00:14:30.135 --> 00:14:32.467 -Were you crying -when your hands blew up? - -00:14:32.570 --> 00:14:34.197 -No. See, he didn't. -Yeah, I mean, just that's what... - -00:14:34.305 --> 00:14:35.863 -So now we in re-writes, right? - -00:14:35.974 --> 00:14:37.100 -- Where you going? -- Let's re-write it! - -00:14:37.208 --> 00:14:39.369 -Action Jackson can't cry. -That's what's going down. - -00:14:39.477 --> 00:14:41.445 -You know what, kirk? -I'm ready to do the scene! - -00:14:41.546 --> 00:14:45.107 -What scene? The scene is -about emotionality. Where is it? - -00:14:45.216 --> 00:14:46.808 -- Now it's time to flip the script! -- Kirk... - -00:14:46.918 --> 00:14:49.119 -Be here till Chinese new year -waiting for my man to cry. - -00:14:49.287 --> 00:14:51.255 -You're tangling me, -you're fucking tangling me. - -00:14:51.356 --> 00:14:52.636 -You're tangling me, God damn it! - -00:14:52.657 --> 00:14:55.490 -- Kirk, no! -- Stop tailgating me, you pasty tea bag! - -00:14:55.593 --> 00:14:57.390 -I'm going potty. -You want to hold my dick? - -00:14:57.862 --> 00:15:00.626 -Shit! What are you fucking both doing, -good lord! - -00:15:00.799 --> 00:15:03.324 -We're getting this in a wide shot, right? - -00:15:03.434 --> 00:15:04.958 -Of course we're getting it -in a fucking wide. - -00:15:05.069 --> 00:15:06.093 -What, do you think -I'm a dick or something? - -00:15:06.204 --> 00:15:09.339 -Get that fucking food... -Here they come! - -00:15:10.441 --> 00:15:12.841 -- The planes are inbound! -- Shit! Shit! - -00:15:12.944 --> 00:15:17.847 -Shit, shit, cocksucker, bollocks. -Tropic tits! - -00:15:17.949 --> 00:15:20.918 -That's the signal! Go, go, go, go, go! - -00:15:21.019 --> 00:15:23.078 -Let's go freaking tet here! - -00:15:23.188 --> 00:15:25.179 -Goddamn shit-picking cock! - -00:15:27.292 --> 00:15:28.884 -That's my shit! - -00:15:34.432 --> 00:15:37.367 -Mother nature just pissed her pantsuit! - -00:15:45.243 --> 00:15:46.471 -- Sweet. -- Oh, mama! - -00:15:49.280 --> 00:15:51.544 -Bungle in the jungle. - -00:15:51.649 --> 00:15:54.743 -More bad news from the vietnamese set -of tropic thunder, - -00:15:54.853 --> 00:15:58.584 -where a $4 million explosion -charred the Asian location - -00:15:58.690 --> 00:16:00.658 -and the camera wasn't even rolling. - -00:16:00.758 --> 00:16:03.420 -Financed by hotheaded mega-mogul -les Grossman, - -00:16:03.528 --> 00:16:06.622 -the film is already rumored to be -one month behind schedule - -00:16:06.731 --> 00:16:09.598 -just five days into shooting. -The reason? - -00:16:09.701 --> 00:16:12.636 -Fingers are pointed at rookie director -Damien cockburn, - -00:16:12.737 --> 00:16:15.831 -who, insiders say, -can't control a star-studded cast, - -00:16:15.940 --> 00:16:20.639 -including flatulent star of the popular -fatties franchise, Jeff portnoy. - -00:16:20.745 --> 00:16:23.270 -Let me tell you something. -A lot of people are disrespecting me. - -00:16:23.381 --> 00:16:27.112 -They say that the movie's -just about farts. It's about family, - -00:16:27.218 --> 00:16:30.312 -and... you! You can't do what I do. - -00:16:30.421 --> 00:16:34.653 -Fresh from his most recent arrest -for heroin, glue and crack possession, - -00:16:34.759 --> 00:16:37.125 -portnoy was almost uninsurable. - -00:16:37.228 --> 00:16:41.562 -Also in the mix is Booty sweat-hocking -hip-hop hyphenate alpa chino. - -00:16:41.666 --> 00:16:44.157 -I'm so excited, you know what I'm -saying, about doing tropic thunder. - -00:16:44.269 --> 00:16:46.430 -Hey, drink Booty sweat, baby. -Drink Booty sweat. - -00:16:46.537 --> 00:16:48.198 -But the real heavyweight on the set - -00:16:48.240 --> 00:16:49.217 -is five-time academy award winner -kirk Lazarus. - -00:16:49.241 --> 00:16:51.082 -Is five-time academy award winner -kirk Lazarus. - -00:16:51.109 --> 00:16:54.840 -The brilliant Australian -known for his bad boy antics off-screen - -00:16:54.946 --> 00:16:58.541 -is famous for his total immersion -into any role he portrays. - -00:16:58.650 --> 00:16:59.947 -Well, being an actor is no different - -00:17:00.051 --> 00:17:02.246 -than being a rugby player -or a construction worker, - -00:17:02.353 --> 00:17:03.479 -save for the fact that my tools - -00:17:03.588 --> 00:17:05.647 -are the mechanisms -that trigger human emotion. - -00:17:05.757 --> 00:17:07.816 -Lazarus underwent a controversial - -00:17:07.926 --> 00:17:10.918 -pigmentation alteration procedure -in order to play - -00:17:11.029 --> 00:17:14.123 -the platoon's African-American -sergeant, Lincoln osiris. - -00:17:14.232 --> 00:17:15.665 -Yeah! - -00:17:15.767 --> 00:17:17.632 -Trying to hold his own onscreen -with kirk - -00:17:17.735 --> 00:17:19.862 -is action juggernaut tugg speedman. - -00:17:19.971 --> 00:17:22.769 -Once the highest grossing star -in the world, - -00:17:22.874 --> 00:17:25.934 -lately his scorcher films -have lost their heat. - -00:17:26.044 --> 00:17:28.638 -Recently, speedman opened up to Tyra. - -00:17:28.746 --> 00:17:30.680 -You have no real family. - -00:17:30.782 --> 00:17:35.219 -You're on the wrong side of 40. -You're childless and alone. - -00:17:35.320 --> 00:17:37.015 -Somebody close to you said, - -00:17:37.121 --> 00:17:39.919 -"one more flop and it's over." - -00:17:42.026 --> 00:17:44.119 -Somebody said they were close to me? - -00:17:45.063 --> 00:17:46.189 -It's been a tough year for tugg. - -00:17:46.297 --> 00:17:49.061 -The disappointing buddy comedy -chitlin' & the dude - -00:17:49.167 --> 00:17:53.831 -was followed by an ill-advised venture -into serious dramatic territory. - -00:17:53.938 --> 00:17:55.030 -Simple Jack, - -00:17:55.139 --> 00:17:58.870 -the story of a mentally impaired -farmhand who can talk to animals, - -00:17:58.977 --> 00:18:00.842 -was a box office disaster - -00:18:00.945 --> 00:18:05.541 -that many critics called, -"one of the worst movies of all time." - -00:18:05.650 --> 00:18:09.279 -I ain't got a good brain. - -00:18:10.288 --> 00:18:13.189 -I think you've got a fine brain, Jack. - -00:18:13.291 --> 00:18:18.456 -You make me happy. - -00:18:19.998 --> 00:18:24.435 -But now the question is, -can speedman make audiences happy - -00:18:24.535 --> 00:18:26.298 -in what's being called -the most expensive - -00:18:26.404 --> 00:18:28.668 -- war movie never made? -- Rick peck. - -00:18:28.773 --> 00:18:30.293 -Wishing tugg all the best on that one. - -00:18:30.375 --> 00:18:34.709 -Rum-tum-tuggernauts, it's the pecker. -You got time for your agent? - -00:18:34.812 --> 00:18:36.074 -- Rick? -- Hey, buddy, - -00:18:36.180 --> 00:18:37.738 -guess who I'm staring at right now. - -00:18:37.849 --> 00:18:39.510 -- What? -- I'm looking at your ugly mug - -00:18:39.617 --> 00:18:41.915 -on the back cover -of vanity fair magazine, - -00:18:42.020 --> 00:18:44.454 -holding a cute, cuddly panda -from cutesville. - -00:18:44.555 --> 00:18:47.149 -It is insane, bro. You are a rock star. - -00:18:47.258 --> 00:18:49.852 -Hey, did you get the gift basket I sent? - -00:18:49.961 --> 00:18:50.985 -From Rick. - -00:18:51.095 --> 00:18:53.188 -Yeah. Yeah. It's cool, man. Thanks. - -00:18:53.297 --> 00:18:55.857 -All right, -that is a real satellite phone, bro. - -00:18:55.967 --> 00:18:57.559 -Do not re-gift. - -00:18:57.668 --> 00:19:00.159 -Hey. You see -that access Hollywood piece? - -00:19:00.271 --> 00:19:03.206 -Yeah, I did. -It was like pistol-whipping a blind kid. - -00:19:03.307 --> 00:19:07.744 -I mean, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, -tugg. You are a huge star, all right? - -00:19:07.845 --> 00:19:09.312 -But right now, - -00:19:09.414 --> 00:19:10.972 -you're like that kid on the playground, -you know, - -00:19:11.082 --> 00:19:14.051 -the one who has lice that none -of the other kids want to play with? - -00:19:14.152 --> 00:19:16.232 -- What do you mean? -- I mean we gotta shave your head - -00:19:16.254 --> 00:19:18.722 -and get you back -on the monkey bars, right? - -00:19:18.823 --> 00:19:20.154 -What? - -00:19:20.258 --> 00:19:22.123 -How did the crying scene go? - -00:19:22.226 --> 00:19:23.989 -Horrible. Lazarus started crying. - -00:19:24.095 --> 00:19:27.258 -Then he starts drooling and dribbling, -and it wasn't even in the script... - -00:19:27.365 --> 00:19:28.457 -Stop right there! - -00:19:28.566 --> 00:19:30.295 -You gotta buck up here, tuggboat. - -00:19:30.401 --> 00:19:33.097 -Who cares how much more talented -he may be than you? - -00:19:33.204 --> 00:19:36.571 -If he cries, you cry harder, man. - -00:19:36.674 --> 00:19:38.835 -Didn't your dog have, like, leukemia -or something - -00:19:38.943 --> 00:19:40.308 -when you were a kid? -I mean, think of that. - -00:19:40.411 --> 00:19:44.177 -Boom! End of story. -They hook up the TiVo yet? - -00:19:44.282 --> 00:19:45.544 -Good gosh. - -00:19:45.650 --> 00:19:47.481 -- What? -- The TiVo, they hook it up? - -00:19:47.585 --> 00:19:49.849 -- No. The guy didn't come. -- What? - -00:19:49.954 --> 00:19:52.548 -For fuck's sake, that is unacceptable. - -00:19:52.657 --> 00:19:54.557 -They have digital cable, but, -I mean, it's okay. - -00:19:54.659 --> 00:19:56.889 -No, no, no. Come on, man. It's not okay. - -00:19:56.994 --> 00:19:59.121 -It is not okay, tugg! - -00:19:59.230 --> 00:20:02.358 -And you don't need to explain to me -why you need TiVo - -00:20:02.467 --> 00:20:06.403 -or clean water, clean sheets, -food, shelter. - -00:20:06.504 --> 00:20:09.598 -I mean, I fought for that in your contract. - -00:20:09.707 --> 00:20:11.766 -How's the adoption thing coming, -buddy? - -00:20:11.876 --> 00:20:13.901 -Not too great. - -00:20:17.148 --> 00:20:19.844 -I feel like all the good ones are gone. - -00:20:21.519 --> 00:20:23.817 -Well, at least you get to choose yours. - -00:20:23.921 --> 00:20:25.752 -I'm stuck with mine. - -00:20:27.658 --> 00:20:30.183 -Tell you what, get back to work, -genius soldier. - -00:20:30.294 --> 00:20:33.161 -The pecker's on a TiVo mission -for the y-o-u. - -00:20:33.264 --> 00:20:35.027 -Work on those tears, my man. - -00:20:35.133 --> 00:20:36.225 -All right. Yeah. - -00:20:36.334 --> 00:20:37.892 -Say it for me one time. - -00:20:38.002 --> 00:20:42.268 -- You make me happy. -- Make me happy. - -00:20:42.373 --> 00:20:43.965 -- I love you, buddy. -- All right, bye. - -00:20:44.876 --> 00:20:46.867 -Crisis meeting? -What does that mean, exactly? - -00:20:46.978 --> 00:20:48.639 -I mean, are we in a crisis? - -00:20:48.746 --> 00:20:50.270 -He's the head of the studio. - -00:20:50.381 --> 00:20:52.747 -He's reaching out. -We're 10,000 Miles away. - -00:20:52.850 --> 00:20:53.942 -He just wants a little face-time. - -00:20:54.051 --> 00:20:56.732 -I know, it's just you said -that he called it a crisis meeting. So... - -00:20:56.754 --> 00:20:59.154 -It's les Grossman. -He throws these words around. - -00:20:59.257 --> 00:21:03.660 -"Crisis," "explosion," -"not rolling," "fired." - -00:21:03.761 --> 00:21:05.092 -These are just words. - -00:21:05.196 --> 00:21:07.289 -Yeah! Yeah! - -00:21:07.398 --> 00:21:10.697 -Keep a secret? A camera truck -in London just plowed into judi dench. - -00:21:10.801 --> 00:21:11.927 -Trust me, he's got bigger problems. - -00:21:12.036 --> 00:21:14.504 -Look, he may be able to see me, -but I can't see him. - -00:21:14.605 --> 00:21:19.133 -- Move! Move! Hello, les! Hello! -- Get your ass out of my... - -00:21:19.243 --> 00:21:20.676 -- Your feet were on my desk. -- Can he see us? - -00:21:20.778 --> 00:21:22.109 -I don't know why we don't have... - -00:21:22.213 --> 00:21:24.374 -Get him a diet coke. Les! It's working! - -00:21:24.482 --> 00:21:26.973 -Yeah, whatever you're doing right there. -Hello, les! - -00:21:27.084 --> 00:21:28.483 -- Hello, les! -- Okay. - -00:21:28.586 --> 00:21:30.645 -We got you loud and clear here, les. - -00:21:30.755 --> 00:21:34.452 -I see you. I see you. I see you. - -00:21:34.559 --> 00:21:37.687 -Which one of you fuckfaces -is Damien cockburn? - -00:21:38.696 --> 00:21:40.220 -That's me, sir. - -00:21:40.331 --> 00:21:43.858 -It's good to finally meet you at last, -get some face-time. - -00:21:43.968 --> 00:21:47.927 -And who here is the key grip? -You? You. - -00:21:49.941 --> 00:21:53.399 -Hit that director in the face, -really fucking hard. - -00:22:00.284 --> 00:22:01.615 -Sorry, man. - -00:22:08.125 --> 00:22:11.026 -This is your fault, you limey fuck! - -00:22:11.128 --> 00:22:12.993 -You shit the money-bed, my friend. - -00:22:13.097 --> 00:22:15.622 -- What? -- God damn it, Damien! - -00:22:15.733 --> 00:22:18.827 -With all due respect, les Grossman did -not blow up the jungle. - -00:22:18.936 --> 00:22:20.028 -- What? -- Fuck the jungle. - -00:22:20.137 --> 00:22:21.468 -Exactly! - -00:22:22.173 --> 00:22:23.640 -Come on, man. - -00:22:24.375 --> 00:22:27.105 -Hey, les, I understand if you're angry, - -00:22:27.211 --> 00:22:29.202 -but I am dealing -with a bunch of prima Donnas! - -00:22:29.313 --> 00:22:32.805 -Clowns! Tugg speedman, he can't cry! -He can't cry! - -00:22:32.917 --> 00:22:35.317 -You know how you handle an actor? -They whine about anything, - -00:22:35.419 --> 00:22:38.718 -you pull down their pants -and you spank their ass. - -00:22:38.823 --> 00:22:41.018 -- You spank that ass, les. -- What? - -00:22:41.125 --> 00:22:44.891 -Spanking a child -turns him into a little snot. - -00:22:45.763 --> 00:22:48.664 -Fear makes him a man. - -00:22:49.700 --> 00:22:54.296 -I know a place -where a man's worth is measured - -00:22:54.405 --> 00:22:58.205 -in the ears hanging from his dog tags. - -00:22:58.309 --> 00:23:01.039 -The real deep shit. - -00:23:01.145 --> 00:23:03.739 -You wanna make this movie right? - -00:23:03.848 --> 00:23:07.340 -That's where you take -your pansy-ass actors. - -00:23:08.919 --> 00:23:10.784 -Who is this guy? - -00:23:10.888 --> 00:23:12.788 -Les, that's four leaf. - -00:23:12.890 --> 00:23:16.189 -Sergeant four leaf tayback. -I wrote the book. - -00:23:18.396 --> 00:23:22.457 -You're a great American. -This nation owes you a huge debt. - -00:23:22.566 --> 00:23:25.535 -Now shut the fuck up -and let me do my job! - -00:23:26.404 --> 00:23:27.871 -- Look, cockburn. -- Yes. - -00:23:27.972 --> 00:23:31.999 -From now on, my fist -is gonna be so far up your shithole - -00:23:32.109 --> 00:23:33.509 -that every time you have a thought, - -00:23:33.577 --> 00:23:36.603 -it's gonna have to tiptoe -past my wedding ring. - -00:23:36.714 --> 00:23:40.241 -Take control of your actors, -or I will shut you down. - -00:23:40.351 --> 00:23:41.443 -Diet coke! - -00:23:59.203 --> 00:24:01.398 -One week down, two weeks behind, - -00:24:01.505 --> 00:24:05.305 -gi Joe can't cry, don't matter 'cause you -ain't got the camera turned on anyway. - -00:24:05.409 --> 00:24:06.808 -Let's party! - -00:24:07.745 --> 00:24:09.645 -Man, you better get your shit straight, - -00:24:09.747 --> 00:24:12.614 -or I'll be on the next netjet out of here, -baby. You feel me? - -00:24:13.484 --> 00:24:14.484 -- You feel that? -- Yeah. - -00:24:14.552 --> 00:24:17.077 -Here comes another. -There we go. Now what? - -00:24:17.455 --> 00:24:19.787 -- Sandusky. Good. -- Hey, Mr. cockburn. - -00:24:19.890 --> 00:24:21.755 -We need to have a cast meeting -right now. - -00:24:21.859 --> 00:24:23.156 -- Right now? Awesome. -- Yes. - -00:24:23.260 --> 00:24:24.454 -You actually care, don't you? - -00:24:24.562 --> 00:24:27.156 -Yeah, it's a huge deal for me, -are you kidding? - -00:24:27.264 --> 00:24:29.232 -I've spent the past two years of my life - -00:24:29.333 --> 00:24:33.030 -living off residuals from a anti-herpes -medication commercial. - -00:24:33.137 --> 00:24:34.297 -I know, you're the only one -who auditioned, - -00:24:34.405 --> 00:24:35.963 -the only one who did -the two-week boot camp. - -00:24:36.073 --> 00:24:37.734 -Hey, hey, alpa. - -00:24:38.442 --> 00:24:40.910 -I'm the director. He's... -I need to speak to my actor. - -00:24:41.011 --> 00:24:42.239 -All right, hold up. Chino? - -00:24:42.346 --> 00:24:44.109 -What? Hell, yo. What's up, baby? - -00:24:45.049 --> 00:24:46.539 -This about -the Booty sweat cross-promotion? - -00:24:46.650 --> 00:24:47.674 -No, it's about the film. - -00:24:47.785 --> 00:24:49.776 -Oh, the film and Booty sweat's -the same thing. Give him a shot. - -00:24:50.154 --> 00:24:52.281 -Hey, how you doing, Jeff? - -00:24:52.390 --> 00:24:55.848 -- Who are you? -- That's awesome, man. - -00:24:58.129 --> 00:25:02.862 -Kevin. Kevin sandusky. I play Brooklyn, -we've been working together. - -00:25:02.967 --> 00:25:04.559 -Oh, right, right. I like you. - -00:25:04.668 --> 00:25:06.636 -Man, it's a real honor to be here... - -00:25:06.737 --> 00:25:08.034 -I can tell it's gonna be -a good experience. - -00:25:08.139 --> 00:25:09.339 -I'm really having a good time. - -00:25:09.373 --> 00:25:11.000 -Hey, can you help me out, man? -I'm looking for this guy. - -00:25:11.108 --> 00:25:15.272 -The grip with the bandana. -He's got a package for me. - -00:25:15.746 --> 00:25:18.146 -There he is, fucker. Dragon! - -00:25:19.250 --> 00:25:21.081 -What the fuck? Oh, buddy! - -00:25:21.218 --> 00:25:22.583 -I'm gonna go shoot a video, right? - -00:25:22.686 --> 00:25:24.813 -I'm gonna have v.C. Soldiers -in the video - -00:25:24.922 --> 00:25:26.219 -doing the noodle-legs, Damien. - -00:25:26.323 --> 00:25:30.692 -Hell, yeah, do it. V.C. Soldiers doing -the hip-hop bunny hop, Damien. - -00:25:30.928 --> 00:25:32.688 -It's good, I love it, great. -But I need to... - -00:25:32.696 --> 00:25:35.688 -V.C. Soldiers doing the seizure, baby. -Hit it, baby. - -00:25:35.833 --> 00:25:37.494 -Hell yeah, get it. Get it, cornbread. - -00:25:39.670 --> 00:25:40.830 -Alpa! - -00:25:40.938 --> 00:25:42.418 -Yo, check it out. Donny on the phone. - -00:25:42.473 --> 00:25:43.473 -Hello? Yo, yo, Donny! - -00:25:43.541 --> 00:25:45.661 -Can we call him back? -I've got to have a cast meeting. - -00:25:49.146 --> 00:25:51.478 -When we put aside our differences, - -00:25:51.582 --> 00:25:54.449 -we see we're kind of the same. - -00:25:55.352 --> 00:25:58.879 -When we put aside our differences, -we see - -00:26:00.558 --> 00:26:02.423 -we're kind of the same. - -00:26:03.194 --> 00:26:04.991 -Let's be friends. - -00:26:05.296 --> 00:26:07.924 -I know we can do great things together. - -00:26:10.034 --> 00:26:13.800 -That's a quotation from -a children's book I co-wrote, - -00:26:14.572 --> 00:26:16.699 -the boy everybody was jealous of. - -00:26:16.807 --> 00:26:18.536 -I think it pertains to the journey... - -00:26:18.642 --> 00:26:19.973 -Simple Jack sucked ass! - -00:26:21.045 --> 00:26:23.445 -All right, who said that? It's not funny. - -00:26:23.547 --> 00:26:25.310 -Whoever it is, it's not funny, okay? - -00:26:32.623 --> 00:26:35.319 -When the herd loses its way, - -00:26:35.426 --> 00:26:39.863 -the Shepherd must kill -the bull that leads them astray. - -00:26:41.699 --> 00:26:44.964 -- Four leaf? -- Come on over. It's okay. - -00:26:46.637 --> 00:26:48.127 -- Sit down. -- Yes. - -00:26:49.540 --> 00:26:54.637 -- So, you don't like the hotel? -- Beds give me nightmares. - -00:26:59.683 --> 00:27:04.882 -I'm guessing right about now -you couldn't find a Dixie coonskin - -00:27:04.989 --> 00:27:09.323 -with an Ohio hooker holding your prick -and showing you the way. - -00:27:16.133 --> 00:27:17.464 -What? - -00:27:17.701 --> 00:27:19.293 -You're a riddle - -00:27:20.804 --> 00:27:23.739 -with no cheese to maze through. - -00:27:25.643 --> 00:27:26.643 -Don't you get it? - -00:27:26.710 --> 00:27:30.441 -No, I don't. I'm a cock of the mouse -or something. I don't know. - -00:27:30.548 --> 00:27:34.484 -I put my story in your limp brit hands, - -00:27:34.585 --> 00:27:38.021 -and you are not going to fail me. - -00:27:38.122 --> 00:27:41.717 -You think I was just blowing -my own bagpipe in that meeting? - -00:27:41.825 --> 00:27:45.659 -You must put those boys in the shit. - -00:27:45.763 --> 00:27:47.321 -What? I don't understand. - -00:27:47.431 --> 00:27:50.696 -- You wanna make your movie or not? -- Yes, I do. - -00:27:50.801 --> 00:27:54.293 -All right, you get -some of those little video type cameras. - -00:27:54.405 --> 00:27:58.034 -We take them out there, and we put -them in the trees in different angles. - -00:27:58.142 --> 00:28:01.475 -Then you give me -and that pyromaniac Cody - -00:28:01.579 --> 00:28:06.448 -all the smoke bombs, charges, -explosives, detonators you got. - -00:28:06.550 --> 00:28:08.984 -Then we take those boys up there, - -00:28:09.086 --> 00:28:12.180 -me and Cody, -we could light up that fucking jungle, - -00:28:12.289 --> 00:28:15.224 -so those lily-dick actors -would be shitting their pants - -00:28:15.326 --> 00:28:17.317 -and screaming for their mammies. - -00:28:17.428 --> 00:28:20.886 -They'd be begging for a body bag -if it means a ride home. - -00:28:23.734 --> 00:28:25.258 -I could do it. - -00:28:26.036 --> 00:28:29.472 -I could shoot the whole thing -guerrilla style. Gritty, dirty. - -00:28:29.573 --> 00:28:32.906 -Get them away from their helpers -and ass-licking assistants. - -00:28:33.010 --> 00:28:34.102 -Put them in the real shit. - -00:28:34.211 --> 00:28:35.405 -- Real shit. -- With real fear in their eyes! - -00:28:35.512 --> 00:28:38.572 -Real fear, real emotion! -Yes, four leaf, yes! - -00:28:38.682 --> 00:28:40.775 -- Yes! Yes! -- Yes! Yes! - -00:28:40.884 --> 00:28:42.647 -Take them off the fucking grid! - -00:29:00.104 --> 00:29:02.868 -You are no longer actors in a movie! - -00:29:03.974 --> 00:29:06.704 -You are five men in a helicopter! - -00:29:08.479 --> 00:29:10.242 -With three other men! - -00:29:15.886 --> 00:29:17.410 -How long are we gonna be gone, -anyways? - -00:29:17.521 --> 00:29:21.582 -'Cause I left most of my vitamins -back at the hotel. - -00:29:21.692 --> 00:29:24.252 -- Save your breath, maggots! -- That's right, maggots! - -00:29:36.340 --> 00:29:37.602 -M&M? - -00:29:39.510 --> 00:29:40.807 -M&M? - -00:30:00.597 --> 00:30:04.133 -Go, go, go! Get out of the chopper! - -00:30:04.568 --> 00:30:07.731 -Move it, maggots, move! -Move, grunts, move your ass! - -00:30:07.838 --> 00:30:10.136 -Get out, you wriggly worms! - -00:30:10.240 --> 00:30:12.708 -- It's up too high! -- Move, move, move! - -00:30:16.180 --> 00:30:17.909 -See you in hell! - -00:30:29.426 --> 00:30:33.624 -This is bullshit! -I gotta at least call my fucking assistant. - -00:30:34.898 --> 00:30:37.628 -Fucking! Jesus! Dude! - -00:30:39.103 --> 00:30:41.333 -You're sitting on a nest -of hostile enemy v.C. - -00:30:41.438 --> 00:30:44.874 -Congratulations, fats. -You just got us all killed. - -00:30:45.876 --> 00:30:49.471 -Anybody else care to give away -our position to Charlie? - -00:30:49.580 --> 00:30:51.343 -Cell phones! - -00:30:51.448 --> 00:30:52.915 -What the hell, Damien? - -00:30:53.016 --> 00:30:56.713 -Weren't no cell phones in '69, man. -I'm head-to-toe legitimate. - -00:30:56.820 --> 00:31:00.221 -Gentlemen, I've got good news -and bad news. - -00:31:00.324 --> 00:31:03.816 -The studio wants to shut us down. -That's the bad news. - -00:31:03.961 --> 00:31:06.259 -And the good news. - -00:31:06.363 --> 00:31:09.264 -If you wanna save this movie, -you will become a unit. - -00:31:09.366 --> 00:31:13.132 -Your objective is to head north -to the d'ang kwook river - -00:31:13.237 --> 00:31:14.727 -and liberate the pow camp, - -00:31:14.838 --> 00:31:18.103 -at which point four leaf -will get himself captured, - -00:31:18.208 --> 00:31:20.005 -at which point you will rescue him, - -00:31:20.110 --> 00:31:23.477 -at which point -we will chopper you home! - -00:31:24.681 --> 00:31:25.773 -Damn. - -00:31:25.883 --> 00:31:27.680 -Four leaf, -since you're the staff sergeant, - -00:31:27.785 --> 00:31:30.185 -there's the map, this is the scene list. - -00:31:30.287 --> 00:31:32.414 -Think you can handle it? - -00:31:32.523 --> 00:31:36.721 -We have rigged this entire -valley of death with hidden cameras. - -00:31:38.195 --> 00:31:41.824 -And I will be shooting as well, -from unseen vantage points, - -00:31:41.932 --> 00:31:45.527 -so that every glorious moment -is captured on film. - -00:31:46.804 --> 00:31:49.967 -And believe me, gentlemen, -it will be glorious. - -00:31:50.073 --> 00:31:52.598 -If it looks real, -chances are it probably is. - -00:31:52.709 --> 00:31:54.301 -You wanted to be actors. - -00:31:54.411 --> 00:31:57.005 -You wanted to occupy -the skin of another human being. - -00:31:57.114 --> 00:32:00.106 -Well, get ready to occupy the skin -of a terrified U.S. infantry grunt, - -00:32:00.217 --> 00:32:03.983 -surrounded by death, -crawling up Satan's bottom. - -00:32:05.022 --> 00:32:09.721 -There'll be ambushes, enemy fire, -your own little personal slice of 'nam. - -00:32:09.827 --> 00:32:14.423 -This radio goes to the chopper -and the chopper only. - -00:32:14.531 --> 00:32:18.968 -The chopper is God, -and I am Jesus Christ, his son. - -00:32:19.069 --> 00:32:21.765 -You are my chosen disciples. - -00:32:21.872 --> 00:32:24.898 -And no one gets to go home -till we get the shots. - -00:32:25.008 --> 00:32:28.034 -Put on your war faces, gentlemen. - -00:32:28.145 --> 00:32:32.844 -Now, let's go and make -the greatest war movie ever! - -00:32:32.950 --> 00:32:35.282 -- Yeah! -- All right! - -00:32:54.037 --> 00:32:55.095 -Yeah! - -00:33:00.544 --> 00:33:01.602 -Yeah! - -00:33:14.157 --> 00:33:16.057 -Not bad, cockburn! - -00:33:17.895 --> 00:33:19.089 -Not bad. - -00:33:20.797 --> 00:33:22.389 -Wherever you are! - -00:33:24.401 --> 00:33:27.461 -Wherever he is? -Looks like he's all over the place. - -00:33:29.273 --> 00:33:31.173 -Here we go. - -00:33:31.275 --> 00:33:33.300 -Must be an old French mine. - -00:33:33.410 --> 00:33:36.868 -It's a remnant from colonial indo-China. -This jungle must be full of them. - -00:33:38.949 --> 00:33:42.407 -Don't you get it? -He's messing with our heads. - -00:33:42.519 --> 00:33:44.544 -That's what all that -playing God stuff was about. - -00:33:44.655 --> 00:33:47.215 -He's trying to get us to act good, -save the movie. - -00:33:47.324 --> 00:33:50.350 -He ain't playing God. -He's being judged by him. - -00:33:54.364 --> 00:33:57.060 -That's our objective. -Complete the mission. - -00:34:03.273 --> 00:34:06.174 -No offense, kirk, -I know you're the big fancy actor here, - -00:34:06.276 --> 00:34:10.178 -but I've done a lot more effects-driven -event films than you. Okay? - -00:34:10.280 --> 00:34:11.679 -And I think I can spot - -00:34:13.784 --> 00:34:15.308 -a prop head when I see one. - -00:34:15.419 --> 00:34:16.909 -Oh, Jesus. - -00:34:18.121 --> 00:34:21.613 -It's corn syrup, guys. -Corn syrup and latex. - -00:34:24.828 --> 00:34:27.956 -Warm, blood-flavored corn syrup. - -00:34:28.065 --> 00:34:29.191 -Oh, God. - -00:34:29.833 --> 00:34:32.961 -Smoke and mirrors, guys. -Welcome to the movie factory. - -00:34:33.070 --> 00:34:34.264 -Oldest trick in the book. - -00:34:36.273 --> 00:34:37.570 -He getting down now. - -00:34:37.674 --> 00:34:39.039 -Oh, my God! - -00:34:41.845 --> 00:34:43.904 -Whoa, look at me! - -00:34:44.014 --> 00:34:45.481 -You're going to get the shots, - -00:34:45.582 --> 00:34:48.574 -and I'm going to make sure -because I'm the director. - -00:34:48.685 --> 00:34:50.812 -I'm from London. I direct plays. - -00:34:50.921 --> 00:34:53.947 -Hey, Damien! We got our war faces on! - -00:35:03.967 --> 00:35:05.662 -Look, I'm Dave Beckham. - -00:35:15.312 --> 00:35:17.712 -So, we gotta -light these boys up today, huh? - -00:35:17.814 --> 00:35:20.009 -Blow some sense into these young men. - -00:35:20.984 --> 00:35:23.885 -Hey, I don't want to come off -as weird or anything, - -00:35:23.987 --> 00:35:27.923 -but I might be your biggest fan. Yeah. - -00:35:29.292 --> 00:35:32.784 -Tropic thunder. -Kind of like my catcher in the rye. - -00:35:34.031 --> 00:35:36.261 -Yeah, I've never been in the military, -per se, - -00:35:36.366 --> 00:35:38.800 -but I have lost an appendage -in the line of duty. - -00:35:40.604 --> 00:35:42.834 -Driving miss Daisy, first studio gig. - -00:35:43.607 --> 00:35:44.665 -Yeah. - -00:35:45.175 --> 00:35:47.973 -It's a pretty cool sidearm you got there. -What is it? - -00:35:48.078 --> 00:35:49.739 -I don't know what it's called. - -00:35:50.881 --> 00:35:55.614 -I just know the sound it makes -when it takes a man's life. - -00:35:58.755 --> 00:35:59.813 -Okay. - -00:36:00.390 --> 00:36:01.630 -Damien, we're go for explosion. - -00:36:01.725 --> 00:36:04.523 -Ready to kick the tires -and light the fires on your say-so. - -00:36:04.628 --> 00:36:06.357 -Damien, we're go for explosion. - -00:36:07.497 --> 00:36:08.521 -Do you copy? - -00:36:08.632 --> 00:36:11.499 -I got an itchy trigger finger here, -and I'm ready to blow some shit up. - -00:36:11.601 --> 00:36:15.230 -All right, you happy now? -Can we do the scene? - -00:36:15.338 --> 00:36:17.966 -Or do you need a formal invitation? -Come on, let's go! - -00:36:19.776 --> 00:36:20.868 -Here. Okay. - -00:36:20.977 --> 00:36:23.172 -"Scene 12, exterior, -jungle clearing, day, ambush. - -00:36:28.718 --> 00:36:30.652 -"Four leaf notices -movement in the brush. - -00:36:30.754 --> 00:36:33.780 -"A dozen guerrilla fighters -can be seen moving in the tree line. - -00:36:33.890 --> 00:36:36.450 -"Somewhere a mine explodes." -And you. - -00:36:37.794 --> 00:36:39.819 -"I got a bad feeling on this one." - -00:36:39.930 --> 00:36:41.420 -- Yeah. -- No, that's your line. - -00:36:41.531 --> 00:36:44.398 -- I got... now? -- Yeah, but scared. Like, scared. - -00:36:44.501 --> 00:36:47.231 -- "I got a bad feeling on this one." -- Dude, wait, like how? - -00:36:47.337 --> 00:36:49.168 -"I got a bad feeling on this one." - -00:36:49.272 --> 00:36:51.365 -- Okay. -- Action. Go, come on. - -00:37:00.383 --> 00:37:03.250 -I got a bad feeling -on this one there, fats. - -00:37:04.588 --> 00:37:07.989 -Our asses don't get fragged -in this bullshit valley, - -00:37:08.091 --> 00:37:09.922 -first thing I'm doing -is paying my two bucks - -00:37:10.026 --> 00:37:11.653 -so I can watch Brooklyn bust his cherry - -00:37:11.761 --> 00:37:14.457 -on a sweet little mama-San's -dinky dau poontang. - -00:37:14.564 --> 00:37:17.465 -Shit, Brooklyn be bagged and tagged -before he get any cooch. - -00:37:17.567 --> 00:37:20.798 -He die, he probably die -a coochless motherfucker. - -00:37:20.904 --> 00:37:22.303 -Zip it, motown. - -00:37:22.405 --> 00:37:23.963 -Don't you worry, Brooklyn. - -00:37:24.074 --> 00:37:26.133 -You got a lot of days of fucking -ahead of you. - -00:37:28.245 --> 00:37:29.837 -Man, I'm thirsty. - -00:37:30.947 --> 00:37:35.907 -Might as well have some of this -Booty sweat I got back in danang. - -00:37:36.786 --> 00:37:40.278 -Yo, asshole! This motherfucker's dead! - -00:37:40.390 --> 00:37:42.187 -Ain't no criss angel mindfreak, - -00:37:42.292 --> 00:37:45.625 -David Blaine trapdoor -horseshit jumping off here! - -00:37:45.729 --> 00:37:49.495 -Hey! You wanna get on the train here, -or do you wanna ruin another take? - -00:37:49.599 --> 00:37:52.932 -There ain't no goddamn takes, -ain't no goddamn motion picture! - -00:37:53.904 --> 00:37:55.667 -- You sure? -- Yeah. - -00:37:55.772 --> 00:37:57.569 -- Yeah? -- For certain, man. - -00:37:57.674 --> 00:37:59.574 -Then why are you still in character? - -00:38:01.144 --> 00:38:03.112 -I know, but I don't have to tell you. - -00:38:04.247 --> 00:38:05.305 -You don't know. - -00:38:05.415 --> 00:38:08.350 -Man, I don't drop character -till I done a DVD commentary. - -00:38:11.121 --> 00:38:13.282 -You happy now? -We're out of position for the effects! - -00:38:13.390 --> 00:38:15.119 -Get down, fool! - -00:38:16.826 --> 00:38:19.727 -Didn't anyone read the script? -This is the ambush! - -00:38:21.131 --> 00:38:24.794 -- This feels pretty real! -- Exactly! Let's use it. - -00:38:35.412 --> 00:38:36.572 -Yeah! - -00:38:37.847 --> 00:38:39.212 -Yeah! - -00:38:41.818 --> 00:38:43.080 -Eat lead! - -00:38:45.055 --> 00:38:47.421 -They're busting caps -like a motherfucker down there. - -00:38:50.694 --> 00:38:52.787 -This is fubar. I say we juice them. - -00:38:52.896 --> 00:38:54.386 -- What do you think? -- Juice them. - -00:38:56.800 --> 00:38:59.291 -Fuck you, Charlie! - -00:39:01.371 --> 00:39:02.838 -Big-ass titties! - -00:39:08.812 --> 00:39:10.439 -Look at that, huh? - -00:39:15.719 --> 00:39:16.913 -And cut! - -00:39:19.189 --> 00:39:21.020 -That's the trailer right there. - -00:39:21.124 --> 00:39:22.421 -Yeah! - -00:39:22.525 --> 00:39:24.789 -- What do we do now? -- Yeah. - -00:39:24.894 --> 00:39:26.418 -North. Man said to head north. - -00:39:26.529 --> 00:39:29.862 -- Did you see me shooting? -- That's how we do. Good work, baby. - -00:39:29.966 --> 00:39:31.024 -I believed it. - -00:39:31.134 --> 00:39:32.294 -D'ang kwook river. - -00:39:32.936 --> 00:39:34.335 -I'm betting -he's got more of these battles - -00:39:34.437 --> 00:39:37.167 -and viet congs -rigged for us along the way. - -00:39:37.274 --> 00:39:41.040 -Sergeant osiris, get your men. -Load and lock. - -00:39:41.711 --> 00:39:43.474 -Real, baby, I'm real. - -00:39:44.547 --> 00:39:47.345 -Let's go! We got a lot of klicks to cover! - -00:39:48.485 --> 00:39:51.511 -Hump it up, gentlemen! -Single formation. - -00:39:51.621 --> 00:39:53.452 -Don't dawdle now! - -00:40:17.580 --> 00:40:21.846 -D-rod, d-rod, this is puddingface. -How are we coming on that hotplate? - -00:40:24.487 --> 00:40:27.786 -Something's up. -I think we better drag ass back there. - -00:40:27.891 --> 00:40:30.587 -Make sure Damien ain't forgot -how to use his talkbox again. - -00:40:38.335 --> 00:40:41.304 -Yeah, baby, come on. Just a little taste. - -00:40:42.906 --> 00:40:45.033 -- What are you doing, Jeff? -- Fucking... nothing, man! - -00:40:45.141 --> 00:40:48.474 -- I'm eating jellybeans. -- Wow, I love jellybeans. Can I please... - -00:40:48.578 --> 00:40:51.308 -No, you can't have -any fucking jellybeans. - -00:40:51.414 --> 00:40:52.506 -They're mine. - -00:40:52.615 --> 00:40:53.775 -You think -you're the only one who gets sick - -00:40:53.883 --> 00:40:55.578 -when he doesn't have his jellybeans? - -00:40:55.685 --> 00:40:57.084 -Boundaries, man. Fuck. - -00:41:17.006 --> 00:41:19.702 -Hey. I didn't mean to -show you up back there. - -00:41:19.809 --> 00:41:23.939 -It's just, I feel like we really need -to set the example for the other guys. - -00:41:24.047 --> 00:41:25.947 -It's gonna be tough, - -00:41:26.049 --> 00:41:29.075 -but I think Damien's gonna get -some great shit out of us. - -00:41:30.620 --> 00:41:32.380 -Just wish I had -a director like this on Jack. - -00:41:32.455 --> 00:41:34.946 -On Jack. What? Jack? -What you talking about? - -00:41:36.159 --> 00:41:38.127 -- Simple Jack. -- Oh, yeah. - -00:41:39.629 --> 00:41:42.860 -Simple Jack, yeah. -You went all out on that one, huh? - -00:41:42.966 --> 00:41:45.230 -You did. -Really swung for the fences, huh? - -00:41:45.335 --> 00:41:47.735 -Thank you. Thanks. Yeah. - -00:41:47.837 --> 00:41:50.738 -Yeah, it was an intense experience, -you know. - -00:41:51.441 --> 00:41:53.534 -I just did the work. - -00:41:53.643 --> 00:41:57.443 -Watched a lot of retarded people. -Spent time with them. Observed them. - -00:41:58.748 --> 00:42:00.909 -Watched all the retarded stuff they did. - -00:42:01.017 --> 00:42:02.780 -Then again, -I always found mere observation - -00:42:02.886 --> 00:42:05.184 -in and of itself is a tad rudimentary. - -00:42:05.288 --> 00:42:08.348 -Sometimes, we gotta dig deeper -to mine the true emotional pay dirt. - -00:42:08.458 --> 00:42:12.792 -Thus, we can diagram the source -of the pain and then live it, you know. - -00:42:12.896 --> 00:42:14.955 -Yeah, yeah, live it. Yeah, exactly. - -00:42:15.064 --> 00:42:17.794 -You know, there were times -when I was doing Jack - -00:42:17.901 --> 00:42:20.369 -that I actually felt retarded, - -00:42:20.470 --> 00:42:21.835 -- like really retarded. -- Oh, yeah. - -00:42:21.938 --> 00:42:24.133 -I mean, I brushed my teeth retarded, - -00:42:24.240 --> 00:42:26.037 -- I rode the bus retarded. -- Damn. - -00:42:26.142 --> 00:42:29.373 -In a weird way, -I had to sort of just free myself up - -00:42:29.479 --> 00:42:32.448 -to believe that it was okay -to be stupid or dumb. - -00:42:32.549 --> 00:42:34.107 -- To be a moron. -- Yeah. - -00:42:34.217 --> 00:42:36.947 -- To be moronical. -- Exactly, to be a moron. - -00:42:37.053 --> 00:42:38.418 -- An imbecile. -- Yeah. - -00:42:38.521 --> 00:42:41.388 -Like the dumbest motherfucker -that ever lived. - -00:42:41.491 --> 00:42:42.651 -When I was playing the character. - -00:42:42.759 --> 00:42:45.353 -- When you was the character. -- Yeah, as Jack, definitely. - -00:42:45.462 --> 00:42:47.657 -Jack, stupid ass Jack. - -00:42:47.764 --> 00:42:49.026 -Trying to come back from that. - -00:42:49.132 --> 00:42:53.262 -In a weird way it was almost like -I had to sort of fool my mind - -00:42:53.369 --> 00:42:56.338 -into believing that it wasn't retarded, - -00:42:56.439 --> 00:42:58.240 -and by the end of the whole thing, -I was like, - -00:42:58.274 --> 00:43:02.802 -"wait a minute, I flushed so much out, -how am I gonna jumpstart it up again?" - -00:43:02.912 --> 00:43:04.971 -- It's just like... right? -- Yeah. - -00:43:05.081 --> 00:43:07.845 -You was farting in bathtubs -and laughing your ass off. - -00:43:07.951 --> 00:43:09.816 -Yeah. - -00:43:09.919 --> 00:43:12.217 -But simple Jack thought he was smart, - -00:43:12.322 --> 00:43:13.619 -or rather, didn't think he was retarded, - -00:43:13.723 --> 00:43:16.590 -so you can't afford to play retarded, -being a smart actor. - -00:43:16.693 --> 00:43:19.184 -Playing a guy who ain't smart -but thinks he is, - -00:43:19.295 --> 00:43:20.922 -- that's tricky. -- Tricky. - -00:43:21.030 --> 00:43:24.557 -It's like working with Mercury. -It's high science, man. It's an art form. - -00:43:24.667 --> 00:43:26.692 -- Yeah. -- You an artist. - -00:43:26.803 --> 00:43:28.600 -- That's what we do, right? Yeah. -- Yeah. - -00:43:28.705 --> 00:43:29.967 -Hats off for going there, - -00:43:30.073 --> 00:43:32.803 -especially knowing how -the academy is about that shit. - -00:43:36.513 --> 00:43:40.040 -- About what? -- You're serious? You don't know? - -00:43:42.252 --> 00:43:44.277 -Everybody knows -you never go full retard. - -00:43:45.822 --> 00:43:47.915 -- What do you mean? -- Check it out. - -00:43:48.057 --> 00:43:52.153 -Dustin Hoffman, rain man, looked -retarded, act retarded, not retarded. - -00:43:52.262 --> 00:43:56.358 -Count toothpicks, cheat at cards. -Autistic, sure. Not retarded. - -00:43:57.233 --> 00:43:59.098 -Then you got tom Hanks, -Forrest Gump. - -00:43:59.202 --> 00:44:01.500 -Slow, yes, retarded, maybe, -braces on his legs. - -00:44:01.604 --> 00:44:04.505 -But he charmed the pants off Nixon, -and he won a ping-pong competition. - -00:44:04.607 --> 00:44:05.631 -That ain't retarded. - -00:44:05.775 --> 00:44:09.711 -And he was a goddamn war hero. -You know any retarded war heroes? - -00:44:11.648 --> 00:44:13.639 -You went full retard, man. - -00:44:15.184 --> 00:44:16.549 -Never go full retard. - -00:44:17.554 --> 00:44:21.115 -You don't buy that? -Ask Sean penn, 2001, I am Sam. - -00:44:21.224 --> 00:44:24.523 -Remember? Went full retard? -Went home empty-handed. - -00:44:34.370 --> 00:44:37.567 -Oh, my God! Holy shit! - -00:44:38.241 --> 00:44:40.937 -Good job, turd. You killed the director. - -00:44:41.044 --> 00:44:42.306 -No, that's impossible, man. - -00:44:42.412 --> 00:44:45.279 -I rigged the whole tree line, -and this is here. - -00:44:45.415 --> 00:44:46.939 -- He must have missed his mark. -- Missed his mark? - -00:44:47.050 --> 00:44:48.278 -Yeah, this isn't me. - -00:44:48.384 --> 00:44:51.182 -Come on, let's bag and tag the bastard -and get back to the hotel. - -00:44:51.287 --> 00:44:53.983 -- You're in a world of hurt, dumbo! -- We're in a world of hurt! - -00:44:54.090 --> 00:44:56.285 -- You're in trouble. -- This isn't just on me! - -00:44:56.392 --> 00:44:58.622 -- We're in a... we're together on this. -- Bullshit. - -00:44:58.728 --> 00:45:00.195 -You're just gonna run away. -You're gonna leave. - -00:45:00.296 --> 00:45:02.056 -What happened to, -"no man left behind," okay? - -00:45:02.065 --> 00:45:04.329 -Just wait, just wait! Listen! -Listen, okay? - -00:45:04.434 --> 00:45:07.164 -- I don't wanna hear it. -- Let me just be real with you, all right? - -00:45:07.270 --> 00:45:10.569 -I almost blinded Jamie Lee Curtis -on freaky Friday, okay? - -00:45:10.673 --> 00:45:12.004 -This shit will fucking ruin me! - -00:45:12.108 --> 00:45:14.068 -- Just get off me! You're pathetic. -- No, I'm not. - -00:45:14.110 --> 00:45:16.578 -- Get off me! -- You are not going back! - -00:45:19.949 --> 00:45:21.883 -- What the fuck? -- Now wait a minute. - -00:45:32.261 --> 00:45:34.957 -So, what? -We're just supposed to keep walking? - -00:45:35.064 --> 00:45:37.931 -Try to stay in character. -Remember, we're on camera. - -00:45:38.067 --> 00:45:39.067 -This thing's too heavy. - -00:45:39.135 --> 00:45:40.568 -I want the rubber one -that the prop guy gave me. - -00:45:40.670 --> 00:45:42.934 -Where's the fucking prop guy? - -00:45:47.910 --> 00:45:50.504 -How's it going with that map, chief? - -00:45:50.613 --> 00:45:53.207 -- Can I have a look at it? -- I got it. - -00:45:53.316 --> 00:45:54.874 -Yeah, Damien gave it to me, -remember? - -00:45:54.984 --> 00:45:56.474 -Yeah, but he gave it to you for us. - -00:45:56.586 --> 00:45:58.213 -- Yeah. -- Okay. - -00:45:58.321 --> 00:46:00.846 -- I got it. -- You got it upside down. - -00:46:00.990 --> 00:46:01.990 -Thank you. - -00:46:02.091 --> 00:46:03.649 -Letters go one way -and the numbers another. - -00:46:03.760 --> 00:46:05.318 -Dude, I'm trying to... -I got your back, man. - -00:46:05.428 --> 00:46:07.191 -- Well, I'm cool. All right, I'm cool. -- You are? - -00:46:07.296 --> 00:46:09.161 -Is your character dyslexic? - -00:46:09.265 --> 00:46:10.994 -- No, my character's not dyslexic. -- So you a cartographer. - -00:46:11.100 --> 00:46:12.931 -I'm tired, I want to go home. - -00:46:13.036 --> 00:46:15.596 -Why, so you can get back and make -fatties: Fart 20, or some shit? - -00:46:15.672 --> 00:46:18.607 -It's fatties: Fart two, there's no... hey, -you wish you had a fatties franchise. - -00:46:18.708 --> 00:46:19.988 -- What? -- It's fatties: Fart two. - -00:46:20.043 --> 00:46:21.271 -- Yeah, you do. -- I don't want no fatties franchise, - -00:46:21.377 --> 00:46:23.777 -- I got a diamond toilet. -- Your stupid-ass commercials. - -00:46:23.880 --> 00:46:25.347 -You're all fucked up, man, -you look tired. - -00:46:25.448 --> 00:46:26.574 -You look like you bumped your head -or something, - -00:46:26.683 --> 00:46:28.514 -so I came over to see -if you're fucking all right, that's all. - -00:46:28.618 --> 00:46:30.643 -- Yeah, why don't you get on point? -- I'm on point right here. - -00:46:30.753 --> 00:46:31.777 -My farts -are fucking more beautiful than... - -00:46:31.888 --> 00:46:34.448 -You still got that shit upside down. - -00:46:35.058 --> 00:46:36.538 -The numbers help, man, the numbers... - -00:46:36.559 --> 00:46:38.789 -The letters go across the top -and then the numbers. - -00:46:38.895 --> 00:46:40.453 -- Want the map? -- Yeah, I want the fucking map. - -00:46:40.563 --> 00:46:41.996 -Well, you can't have it, -'cause Damien gave it me. - -00:46:42.098 --> 00:46:45.261 -You wish you had my farts, -my farts are fucking music. - -00:46:45.368 --> 00:46:47.734 -All right. That's enough. - -00:46:49.205 --> 00:46:52.936 -Everybody's obviously a little bushed -from all this humping. - -00:46:53.543 --> 00:46:56.034 -So take a chow break. Chow break! - -00:46:57.847 --> 00:46:59.405 -But stay alert. - -00:46:59.982 --> 00:47:03.474 -Remember, Charlie don't care -if you're on break or not. - -00:47:08.558 --> 00:47:11.493 -All right, that's lunch. Coming back -to the same scene afterwards, - -00:47:11.594 --> 00:47:12.959 -"lost in the goddamn jungle." - -00:47:13.062 --> 00:47:14.062 -Captain simple Jack. - -00:47:15.031 --> 00:47:16.031 -Fuck you. - -00:47:24.941 --> 00:47:26.499 -I fucking hate movies. - -00:47:28.845 --> 00:47:31.678 -This is bullshit. -I don't wanna be in this shitty movie. - -00:47:41.524 --> 00:47:44.288 -No! That's my jellybeans! No! - -00:47:44.393 --> 00:47:49.057 -Kid, grab the bat! Please! Shit! - -00:47:49.165 --> 00:47:52.430 -- Yo, man, I got a bust-a-nut. -- You go to hell! There he is. - -00:47:55.872 --> 00:47:58.807 -God damn it! Okay. Where'd he go? - -00:47:59.776 --> 00:48:02.256 -You little piece of shit! -I'm gonna fucking rip your wings off! - -00:48:04.180 --> 00:48:07.206 -Sanducci. Hold up, man, -keep it on the down-low. - -00:48:08.618 --> 00:48:10.899 -I don't really gotta piss. -I'm trying to talk at you, man. - -00:48:10.953 --> 00:48:12.580 -Bait, I need bait. - -00:48:13.723 --> 00:48:17.420 -You went to boot camp, right? -You can read a map? - -00:48:17.527 --> 00:48:18.755 -Yeah, I think so. - -00:48:18.861 --> 00:48:21.557 -I know speedman -got everyone convinced we out here - -00:48:21.664 --> 00:48:25.464 -making planet of the apes on YouTube -or some shit, but I don't buy it. - -00:48:25.568 --> 00:48:28.036 -You wanna step on a real landmine? -You wanna die? - -00:48:28.838 --> 00:48:30.533 -You wanna get shot -by a real motherfucker? - -00:48:30.640 --> 00:48:33.803 -- Keep looking ahead, man. -- No, of course not. - -00:48:34.210 --> 00:48:36.371 -Trying to get home, man. - -00:48:36.479 --> 00:48:38.140 -Got a big job coming up next year. - -00:48:38.247 --> 00:48:39.680 -- Oh, yeah? -- Yeah. - -00:48:39.782 --> 00:48:42.307 -It's about Abe Lincoln and John wilkes -booth when they were both young. - -00:48:42.418 --> 00:48:43.510 -- Oh, wow! -- Yeah. - -00:48:43.619 --> 00:48:46.110 -- That's a classy picture. -- Dude, you kind of look like Abe. - -00:48:46.222 --> 00:48:47.689 -Slap a beard on you. - -00:48:47.790 --> 00:48:49.815 -- What's your fucking name? -- Really? It's Kevin. - -00:48:49.926 --> 00:48:51.917 -- Kevin sandusky. -- Yeah. - -00:48:52.595 --> 00:48:56.156 -If I can put that map in your hands, -can I count on you? - -00:48:56.566 --> 00:49:00.093 -- Well, yeah, I guess you can. -- Dynamite. I'm out. - -00:49:03.773 --> 00:49:06.207 -That smelled just like bologna -for some reason. - -00:49:06.309 --> 00:49:08.834 -Is anyone gonna fucking help me -get this fucking thing? - -00:49:09.545 --> 00:49:12.105 -Why are they even out in the daytime? - -00:49:14.317 --> 00:49:18.754 -I'm gonna level with you, bro. -I don't need to pee. I need to talk to you. - -00:49:24.994 --> 00:49:28.760 -Lazarus is gonna torpedo the movie. - -00:49:30.967 --> 00:49:32.696 -He's way out on a limb -with this character, - -00:49:32.802 --> 00:49:34.633 -and I think he's getting cold feet. - -00:49:35.938 --> 00:49:38.736 -And the men respect you, -'cause you went to boot camp - -00:49:38.841 --> 00:49:40.468 -and rehearsal. - -00:49:41.510 --> 00:49:44.035 -- Can I count on you, Kyle. -- It's Kevin. - -00:49:44.146 --> 00:49:45.204 +00:01:41.770 --> 00:01:42.854 Good. -00:49:46.782 --> 00:49:49.649 -If you want -I could give the map a look-see. +00:01:45.857 --> 00:01:49.277 +And you won't be able +to reach me on this phone again. -00:49:49.752 --> 00:49:51.913 -- I'll handle the map. -- Okay. +00:02:21.351 --> 00:02:23.269 +Hey, there you are! -00:49:52.021 --> 00:49:55.252 -You stick with the program, -we get this movie in the can, +00:02:23.353 --> 00:02:25.271 +She's down there. -00:49:55.358 --> 00:49:59.055 -I'm thinking there could be -a teen choice award in it for you. +00:02:25.355 --> 00:02:27.649 +Plain Jane Boring, just like you asked for, -00:49:59.161 --> 00:50:03.359 -You have that potential. -They'll slime you, the whole deal. +00:02:27.732 --> 00:02:30.318 +but I dropped in 300 horses on the inside, -00:50:03.466 --> 00:50:07.095 -- Yeah, that's wicked. -- Good. +00:02:30.401 --> 00:02:32.195 +she is going to fly. -00:50:13.009 --> 00:50:15.102 -There it is! Yeah, now you're dead! +00:02:33.279 --> 00:02:34.739 +You look like a zombie, kid. -00:50:16.279 --> 00:50:17.507 -You o.D.'D! +00:02:34.823 --> 00:02:36.616 +You getting any sleep? -00:50:19.081 --> 00:50:20.412 -Hold up now, Jeff. +00:02:36.699 --> 00:02:41.329 +Can I offer you some +Benzedrine, Dexedrine, caffeine, nicotine? -00:50:22.818 --> 00:50:24.217 -Fucking hell! +00:02:41.412 --> 00:02:43.081 +Oh, you don't smoke. That's right. -00:50:25.855 --> 00:50:28.915 -What the hell, Jeff? That's a bat, man! +00:02:43.164 --> 00:02:44.582 +Better Off. -00:50:29.025 --> 00:50:31.493 -I don't have any more jellybeans. +00:02:45.917 --> 00:02:47.418 +There she is! -00:50:38.100 --> 00:50:39.897 -You land there! +00:02:48.628 --> 00:02:53.007 +Chevy Impala, the most popular car +in the State of California. -00:50:54.817 --> 00:50:57.217 -Wow. Look at these ruins. +00:02:54.008 --> 00:02:56.261 +No one will be looking at you. -00:50:59.388 --> 00:51:03.825 -- Where the hell are we? -- D'ang kwook river. +00:04:03.578 --> 00:04:05.496 +...Robert Victor 3. -00:51:03.926 --> 00:51:06.292 -That so? How do you know that? -How you sure? +00:04:05.580 --> 00:04:09.167 +License 5-1-4. Robert Victor 3... -00:51:06.395 --> 00:51:08.590 -Only one way to find out, dude. Let's go. +00:04:21.930 --> 00:04:25.934 +Code 30 Ringer located +at 421 South Alameda. -00:51:08.698 --> 00:51:13.795 -Yeah. I'm not feeling so good right now. -Seriously, my skin hurts! +00:04:28.061 --> 00:04:30.313 +Reports of shots fired at Code -00:51:13.903 --> 00:51:16.337 -Enough from the peanut gallery! -Into the water, ladies! - -00:51:16.439 --> 00:51:18.507 -No, man. Let me take a look at that map -right quick. - -00:51:18.674 --> 00:51:20.354 -Why is everybody -all obsessed with the map? - -00:51:20.376 --> 00:51:22.401 -'Cause we're tired -of being your trail donkeys! - -00:51:22.511 --> 00:51:24.911 -Acting like you some one-man GPS! - -00:51:25.014 --> 00:51:28.882 -God damn it! We lost! -We fucking super lost, man! - -00:51:28.985 --> 00:51:31.112 -Tell him, mcclusky. -Tell him what time it is. - -00:51:31.220 --> 00:51:32.778 -I don't believe you people. - -00:51:34.523 --> 00:51:36.218 -What do you mean "you people"? - -00:51:38.894 --> 00:51:41.488 -What do you mean, "you people"? - -00:51:41.597 --> 00:51:43.588 -I think what tugg means is... - -00:51:43.699 --> 00:51:45.064 -No, look at his eyes, man. - -00:51:45.167 --> 00:51:47.897 -You people, you actors. You people... -- Look at them beady, white devil eyes. - -00:51:48.004 --> 00:51:49.605 -I gotta get back to the hotel, for real! - -00:51:49.638 --> 00:51:51.606 -- Hell, no! -- Silence! - -00:51:52.641 --> 00:51:55.303 -Chill! All right? Just chill it. - -00:51:56.812 --> 00:52:00.009 -Now, let's go get those viet congs. - -00:52:00.850 --> 00:52:02.408 -- "Viet cong"! -- What? - -00:52:02.918 --> 00:52:05.944 -It's "viet cong." There's no "s." -It's already plural. - -00:52:06.055 --> 00:52:07.647 -You wouldn't say "Chineses." - -00:52:09.025 --> 00:52:11.459 -All right, that's enough -of this insubordination! - -00:52:11.560 --> 00:52:14.358 -If the machine breaks down, -we break down. - -00:52:14.463 --> 00:52:16.988 -Hey, man, you know how in Rambo I, -he was big but a little puffy - -00:52:17.099 --> 00:52:18.739 -and then Rambo ii, -he got all shredded up? - -00:52:18.801 --> 00:52:21.668 -- Yeah. -- That's kind of how you look right now. - -00:52:21.771 --> 00:52:23.329 -- Yeah? -- Not Rambo I but ii. - -00:52:23.439 --> 00:52:25.168 -- Really? -- Yeah, when he was cut up. - -00:52:25.274 --> 00:52:27.640 -I'm not that... I mean, -that's what I'm going for, but you know... - -00:52:27.743 --> 00:52:30.439 -Come on, dude. You more shredded -than a julienne salad, man. - -00:52:30.546 --> 00:52:32.036 -- Thanks. -- What's the secret, dude? - -00:52:32.148 --> 00:52:33.513 -- It's a diet. I'm just dieting. -- Really? - -00:52:33.616 --> 00:52:36.608 -'Cause I'm trying to come up a little, -but it's just... it's tough. - -00:52:36.719 --> 00:52:38.209 -- You look good. -- Any tips? - -00:52:38.320 --> 00:52:40.015 -- What? -- Any tips, you got? - -00:52:40.122 --> 00:52:41.248 -There's, like, the pineapple... - -00:52:41.357 --> 00:52:43.655 -- Give me that goddamn map! Fuck you! -- Hey! - -00:52:43.759 --> 00:52:45.351 -- Hey! -- All right, now! - -00:52:45.461 --> 00:52:47.895 -What it is, sikorski? -Tell us where we really at. - -00:52:47.997 --> 00:52:49.988 -That's fucking bullshit! -It's a chump move. - -00:52:50.025 --> 00:52:51.959 -We just getting a second opinion, doc. - -00:52:53.795 --> 00:52:55.057 -We're going the wrong way! - -00:52:55.163 --> 00:52:56.255 -- Damn! -- Son of a bitch. - -00:52:56.365 --> 00:53:00.825 -God! I think we were -supposed to be doing this, - -00:53:00.936 --> 00:53:03.837 -and instead we did this. - -00:53:03.939 --> 00:53:07.568 -Shit, shit, shit, shitty shit, shit! - -00:53:07.676 --> 00:53:10.201 -Think you can get us back -to that drop zone, boy? - -00:53:11.146 --> 00:53:12.545 -This is not cool! - -00:53:15.250 --> 00:53:16.376 -Maybe. - -00:53:17.819 --> 00:53:19.309 -This is insane! - -00:53:20.589 --> 00:53:22.921 -Are you really going -to abandon this movie? - -00:53:23.725 --> 00:53:25.920 -We're supposed to be a unit! - -00:53:26.028 --> 00:53:27.552 -Suck my unit! - -00:53:28.430 --> 00:53:30.227 -All right, fine. - -00:53:30.332 --> 00:53:35.235 -- I'll finish it by myself. -- You go be all you can be, man. - -00:53:35.337 --> 00:53:37.328 -Tugg, you have no idea -where you're going! - -00:53:37.439 --> 00:53:39.236 -Yes, I do! - -00:53:39.341 --> 00:53:43.869 -I'm going to, "exterior, rain forest, dusk. - -00:53:43.979 --> 00:53:48.439 -"Smash cut to four leaf, who treks -alone through a frightening jungle." - -00:53:48.550 --> 00:53:50.484 -Suck on that unit, kirk! - -00:54:04.066 --> 00:54:07.058 -Come on, men. Let's get home. - -00:54:45.240 --> 00:54:49.904 -Hello, Mr. mantis. You're beautiful. - -00:54:52.180 --> 00:54:54.114 -Now, if you recall that whole hullabaloo - -00:54:54.216 --> 00:54:55.945 -where Hollywood -was split into schisms, - -00:54:56.051 --> 00:54:59.452 -some studios backing blu-ray disc, -others backing hd DVD. - -00:54:59.554 --> 00:55:00.646 -People thought it would come down to - -00:55:00.755 --> 00:55:03.019 -pixel rate or refresh rate, -and they're pretty much the same. - -00:55:03.125 --> 00:55:06.925 -What it came down to was -a combination of gamers and porn. - -00:55:07.028 --> 00:55:08.757 -Now, whichever format porno backs - -00:55:08.864 --> 00:55:12.698 -is usually the one -that becomes the most successful. - -00:55:12.801 --> 00:55:15.793 -But, you know, Sony, -every playstation 3 has a blu-ray in it. - -00:55:15.904 --> 00:55:17.633 -You talking to me this whole time? - -00:55:18.373 --> 00:55:19.670 -I was talking to whoever -was listening to me. - -00:55:19.774 --> 00:55:21.241 -Jesus Christ, man! - -00:55:39.661 --> 00:55:41.720 -Booty sweat. - -00:55:47.769 --> 00:55:49.168 -Oh, God! - -00:55:51.406 --> 00:55:55.968 -It's cold! It's freezing. I'm fucking cold. - -00:55:56.077 --> 00:55:58.272 -You want my flak jacket? - -00:55:58.380 --> 00:56:02.248 -What, are you insane? It's boiling! -It's like a sweat lodge out here! - -00:56:02.350 --> 00:56:05.183 -Keep the volume down on that bitching, -flatch Adams. - -00:56:05.287 --> 00:56:07.187 -I gotta take a fucking 12-pound shit! - -00:56:07.289 --> 00:56:09.257 -- How we doing? We making good time? -- We're making good time, - -00:56:09.357 --> 00:56:12.485 -but there's no way we make it -over that Ridge before sundown. - -00:56:12.594 --> 00:56:15.085 -All right, fellas, -we're gonna make camp, rest up! - -00:56:15.197 --> 00:56:17.495 -- Oh, God. -- Y'all might be in for a treat. - -00:56:17.599 --> 00:56:18.998 -You know, -back before the war broked out, - -00:56:19.100 --> 00:56:21.830 -I was a saucier in San antone. - -00:56:21.937 --> 00:56:24.565 -I bet I could collar up -some of them Greens. - -00:56:24.673 --> 00:56:28.973 -Yeah, noodle some crawfish -out the paddy, yo. - -00:56:29.077 --> 00:56:33.104 -And maybe some crab apples -for dessert, now, you hear? Hell, yeah! - -00:56:34.449 --> 00:56:35.711 -Hell, yeah! - -00:56:35.817 --> 00:56:40.015 -That's how we all talk. -We all talk like this, suh! Yes, suh. - -00:56:40.121 --> 00:56:45.354 -Yeah, get some crawfish and some ribs. - -00:56:45.460 --> 00:56:50.329 -You're Australian! Be Australian! -Excuse me, kangaroo Jack. - -00:56:54.569 --> 00:56:56.969 -I get excited about my foods, man. - -00:58:22.590 --> 00:58:25.024 -Die! - -00:58:38.940 --> 00:58:41.033 -No! - -00:58:47.582 --> 00:58:51.882 -Dude, dude, what the hell -is going on here? Where are we? - -00:58:51.986 --> 00:58:54.386 -I have no idea. - -00:58:54.489 --> 00:58:57.049 -I've never been outside the states. - -00:58:57.158 --> 00:58:59.319 -Wait, what? -Are you fucking kidding me? - -00:58:59.427 --> 00:59:01.418 -Did you make this -whole goddamn thing up? - -00:59:01.529 --> 00:59:02.894 -Dude, were you -even in the fucking service? - -00:59:02.997 --> 00:59:05.659 -Yes. Of course. Coast guard. - -00:59:05.767 --> 00:59:07.667 -- Coast guard. -- Sanitation department. - -00:59:07.769 --> 00:59:10.465 -Oh, my God! -You're a fucking garbage man! - -00:59:10.572 --> 00:59:14.303 -Damn it. F.L. Tayback lies to me -and the whole goddamn U.S. of a. - -00:59:14.409 --> 00:59:17.071 -I wrote the book as a tribute! -I'm a patriot! - -00:59:17.178 --> 00:59:19.237 -Yeah, you're the milli vanilli -of patriots, okay? - -00:59:19.347 --> 00:59:21.042 -You lied -about fighting the Vietnam war. - -00:59:21.149 --> 00:59:24.414 -It's like punching the American flag -in the face, God damn it. - -00:59:24.519 --> 00:59:25.959 -God, and to think I believed in you! - -00:59:26.054 --> 00:59:28.420 -- I don't wanna be next to you. -- Writers lie all the time. - -00:59:28.523 --> 00:59:30.650 -Can I be tied to another post? Okay. - -00:59:51.968 --> 00:59:53.799 -- Rick? -- Tugg. - -00:59:53.903 --> 00:59:55.962 -I killed one, Rick. - -00:59:57.106 --> 00:59:59.506 -The thing I love most in the world. - -00:59:59.608 --> 01:00:01.439 -Vivica, get off the line now! - -01:00:03.746 --> 01:00:06.146 -A hooker. All right, you killed a hooker. - -01:00:06.248 --> 01:00:08.307 -Calm down. -Here's what you're gonna do. - -01:00:08.417 --> 01:00:09.617 -Get your hands on some bleach, - -01:00:09.685 --> 01:00:12.051 -some hydrogen peroxide -and a shitload of lime. - -01:00:12.154 --> 01:00:13.644 -No, a panda. - -01:00:13.756 --> 01:00:15.519 -I killed a panda. - -01:00:15.624 --> 01:00:17.421 -Amanda? Come on, dude. - -01:00:17.526 --> 01:00:19.551 -I mean, -that's probably not even her real name. - -01:00:19.662 --> 01:00:21.323 -No, a panda! - -01:00:21.430 --> 01:00:22.795 -A panda? - -01:00:22.898 --> 01:00:27.535 -A sweet, cuddly, -vicious little panda. - -01:00:27.670 --> 01:00:30.605 -Jesus Christ, tugg! -Man, don't scare me like that! - -01:00:30.706 --> 01:00:31.866 -It's beautiful here. - -01:00:31.974 --> 01:00:33.464 -You on the set? - -01:00:33.576 --> 01:00:34.838 -I am the set. - -01:00:34.944 --> 01:00:37.913 -All right, man. -Hey, how's the TiVo working out? - -01:00:38.014 --> 01:00:39.242 -Screw TiVo. - -01:00:39.348 --> 01:00:41.816 -I'm way beyond TiVo. - -01:00:41.917 --> 01:00:44.010 -Last I checked, -they hadn't hooked it up, though. - -01:00:44.120 --> 01:00:47.419 -Hadn't hooked it up? No TiVo? - -01:00:47.523 --> 01:00:49.354 -It doesn't matter anymore. - -01:00:52.194 --> 01:00:53.661 -I've moved on. - -01:00:54.397 --> 01:00:56.126 -Where have you moved on to? - -01:00:56.232 --> 01:00:57.722 -Another agency? - -01:00:59.268 --> 01:01:00.792 -Who's with you? - -01:01:00.903 --> 01:01:03.064 -It's Nick Stevens, isn't it? -That little fucker. - -01:01:03.172 --> 01:01:07.268 -You are still my client, tugg speedman! -I am getting the TiVo! - -01:01:07.376 --> 01:01:09.571 -Jacket's on, I'm out the door! - -01:01:09.678 --> 01:01:10.736 -Tugg? - -01:01:14.050 --> 01:01:15.347 -Please don't fire me. - -01:01:16.218 --> 01:01:17.412 -I did it, I did it! - -01:01:17.520 --> 01:01:19.852 -Vivica, what do I have scheduled -this afternoon? - -01:01:19.955 --> 01:01:22.822 -- Two and a half men taping. -- Shit. - -01:01:23.826 --> 01:01:24.850 -Cancel it. - -01:01:24.960 --> 01:01:26.621 -And get me tugg's tropic thunder -contract. - -01:01:26.729 --> 01:01:29.857 -I'm going to Grossman's office, -I'm playing the card. - -01:01:29.965 --> 01:01:30.965 -Okay. - -01:01:34.537 --> 01:01:37.438 -Oh, mama. Thirsty. - -01:01:37.573 --> 01:01:39.632 -He doesn't look too good. - -01:01:39.742 --> 01:01:44.770 -Must drink, -so I can throw something up! - -01:01:44.880 --> 01:01:47.007 -No, no. Don't drink that water! -That water's like a petri dish! - -01:01:47.116 --> 01:01:48.208 -No, don't! - -01:01:48.317 --> 01:01:50.842 -Alpa, do you have any Booty sweat? - -01:01:50.953 --> 01:01:53.319 -Yeah, get him chugging on -some of alpa's ass water. - -01:01:53.422 --> 01:01:55.356 -That'll bring him around. It's a cure-all. - -01:01:55.458 --> 01:01:57.358 -Man, what you coming out -in movies for anyway? - -01:01:57.460 --> 01:01:59.121 -Did you need another revenue stream? - -01:01:59.228 --> 01:02:02.026 -For your information, -my revenue stream - -01:02:02.131 --> 01:02:04.463 -currently generates $2 million a year - -01:02:04.567 --> 01:02:06.501 -in charitable contributions -for my community. - -01:02:06.602 --> 01:02:08.934 -- Hot damn. -- And why am I in this movie? - -01:02:09.038 --> 01:02:11.370 -Maybe I just knew I had to represent, - -01:02:11.474 --> 01:02:13.271 -because they had one good part -in it for a black man - -01:02:13.375 --> 01:02:15.434 -and they gave it to crocodile dundee. - -01:02:17.046 --> 01:02:20.607 -Pump your brakes, kid. -That man is a national treasure. - -01:02:20.716 --> 01:02:22.843 -I just wanted to throw another shrimp -on your Barbie. - -01:02:22.952 --> 01:02:24.078 -That shit ain't funny. - -01:02:24.186 --> 01:02:26.882 -Hey, fellas! It's hot! -We're tired! It stinks! - -01:02:26.989 --> 01:02:28.590 -I'm just fucking with you, -kangaroo Jack! - -01:02:28.657 --> 01:02:30.386 -I'm sorry a dingo ate your baby. - -01:02:30.493 --> 01:02:32.961 -You know that's a true story? -Lady lost her kid. - -01:02:33.062 --> 01:02:35.724 -- You about to cross some fucking lines. -- Guys, relax and stuff. - -01:02:35.831 --> 01:02:36.889 -You know what? Fuck that, man! - -01:02:36.999 --> 01:02:39.661 -I'm sick of this koala-hugging nigger -telling me... - -01:02:44.406 --> 01:02:45.964 -For 400 years, - -01:02:47.009 --> 01:02:49.910 -that word has kept us down. - -01:02:50.980 --> 01:02:52.607 -What the fuck? - -01:02:52.715 --> 01:02:56.481 -It took a whole lot of trying -just to get up that hill. - -01:02:56.585 --> 01:02:59.486 -Now we up in the big leagues, - -01:02:59.588 --> 01:03:01.351 -getting our turn at bat. - -01:03:01.457 --> 01:03:04.119 -Long as we live, it's you and me, baby. - -01:03:04.793 --> 01:03:08.126 -That's the theme song for -the jeffersons. You really need help. - -01:03:08.230 --> 01:03:11.358 -Yeah. Just 'cause it's the theme song, -don't make it not true. - -01:03:11.467 --> 01:03:13.401 -You know what? -I'm gonna tell you what's true. - -01:03:13.502 --> 01:03:16.938 -I'm gonna tag you back. -You better believe that, baby. - -01:03:17.039 --> 01:03:19.633 -Guys! Hey, guys! - -01:03:20.242 --> 01:03:22.710 -Jeff, stay away from that animal. - -01:03:25.080 --> 01:03:27.913 -I'm gonna bite his hide. I need... - -01:03:28.951 --> 01:03:32.216 -I need to wear his stomach skin -like a unitard. - -01:03:33.189 --> 01:03:36.488 -Ain't nobody doing nothing -to no one or body! - -01:03:36.592 --> 01:03:41.461 -Now, if Mr. portnoy is feeling -a little flu-ish, don't wanna walk, - -01:03:41.564 --> 01:03:43.623 -put him up on that cloven-hoof animal! - -01:03:45.000 --> 01:03:46.297 -We got ground to cover! - -01:04:15.297 --> 01:04:18.562 -All right, pow camp, scene 67. - -01:04:19.468 --> 01:04:21.197 -Bring it on, cockburn! - -01:04:29.278 --> 01:04:31.712 -Maybe he's not, you know, -Ridley Scott or something, - -01:04:31.814 --> 01:04:33.611 -but I think renny harlin's -a tremendous filmmaker - -01:04:33.716 --> 01:04:36.514 -like, adventures of Ford fairlane, -you know, - -01:04:36.619 --> 01:04:40.248 -as far as an Andrew Dice Clay -vehicle goes, it's pretty decent. - -01:04:40.356 --> 01:04:42.790 -And cliffhanger. -Cliffhanger's incredible. - -01:04:42.891 --> 01:04:46.349 -As far as the whole like, -man against nature type of movies go, - -01:04:46.462 --> 01:04:48.623 -it's absolutely amazing. - -01:04:48.731 --> 01:04:50.631 -Shut the fuck up! - -01:04:55.271 --> 01:04:56.932 -Who send you here? - -01:04:57.039 --> 01:05:01.669 -Tayback, John, sergeant, -United States army. - -01:05:02.411 --> 01:05:07.815 -Serial number 694529987. - -01:05:11.620 --> 01:05:14.612 -Perhaps some hot tea -will make conversing - -01:05:14.723 --> 01:05:16.486 -a little easier. - -01:05:20.262 --> 01:05:22.355 -My leader's not quite as cordial. - -01:05:25.834 --> 01:05:28.701 -Look, what? I just thought you might -like some hot tea - -01:05:28.804 --> 01:05:32.331 -- in order to calm your nerves. -- Tayback, John, sergeant, - -01:05:32.474 --> 01:05:37.434 -United States army, 694529987. - -01:05:38.280 --> 01:05:43.809 -And here's a little message -from my Uncle Sam. - -01:05:49.458 --> 01:05:51.824 -Dude, you all right? - -01:05:51.927 --> 01:05:53.360 -Man you totally leaned into that. - -01:05:53.462 --> 01:05:56.522 -I was pulling it back -and you just came in too... - -01:05:56.632 --> 01:05:58.827 -Hey, it was an accident, man. - -01:06:01.370 --> 01:06:03.304 -Come on, good. -You want to keep going? - -01:06:03.405 --> 01:06:04.997 -- Let's go. -- Get up. - -01:06:05.107 --> 01:06:06.699 -I rather rot in your v.C. Jail! - -01:06:06.809 --> 01:06:10.677 -I'll never bend to your will! -You scum! You scum! - -01:06:10.779 --> 01:06:12.804 -Now say this -and go to the beginning again, - -01:06:12.915 --> 01:06:14.678 -let's do the tea part, okay? - -01:06:16.218 --> 01:06:17.651 -Dude, I hope you're not pissed. - -01:06:17.986 --> 01:06:19.783 -I see moss on both sides of that tree. - -01:06:19.888 --> 01:06:23.016 -Well, you know, maybe if I wasn't -the only one at boot camp... - -01:06:23.125 --> 01:06:25.025 -My belly really hurts, you guys! - -01:06:25.127 --> 01:06:27.322 -I'm not joking around, I'm nauseous. - -01:06:27.429 --> 01:06:29.670 -Let me off, I gotta puke! -I don't wanna die like hendrix! - -01:06:29.765 --> 01:06:31.426 -All right. All right. - -01:06:36.004 --> 01:06:37.995 -Are you okay, Jeff? - -01:06:38.107 --> 01:06:39.472 -I'm awesome. - -01:06:41.877 --> 01:06:43.344 -Holy shit! - -01:06:47.883 --> 01:06:50.044 -Okay. Everyone, down, down, down. - -01:06:54.757 --> 01:06:56.247 -Man. Now I'm tripping. - -01:06:56.358 --> 01:06:58.986 -That looks like the pow camp -from out the script, yo. - -01:06:59.862 --> 01:07:01.557 -Speedman was right? - -01:07:01.663 --> 01:07:03.028 -I don't think so. - -01:07:03.132 --> 01:07:05.362 -Look at the cooking vats, -the armed guards. - -01:07:06.969 --> 01:07:09.062 -Looks like a heroin processing plant. - -01:07:10.172 --> 01:07:11.298 -We were in that chopper for hours. - -01:07:11.407 --> 01:07:13.671 -I don't even think -we're in Vietnam anymore. - -01:07:13.776 --> 01:07:16.210 -- Fuck. -- Shit. We ain't even in 'nam? - -01:07:16.311 --> 01:07:19.075 -No, most likely Myanmar or Laos. - -01:07:19.181 --> 01:07:20.739 -What the fuck is Laos? - -01:07:20.849 --> 01:07:22.009 -It's the golden triangle. - -01:07:22.117 --> 01:07:24.085 -Oh, fuck. We're dead. - -01:07:24.186 --> 01:07:26.154 -No one gets out of here. I saw it on TV. - -01:07:26.255 --> 01:07:30.282 -Fucking boats, airplanes, -ufos and shit, they all just vanish! - -01:07:30.392 --> 01:07:32.917 -Yo, that's the Bermuda triangle, -dumbass. - -01:07:33.028 --> 01:07:35.394 -This is the golden triangle. - -01:07:35.497 --> 01:07:37.098 -It's the world's hard drug superhighway. - -01:07:37.166 --> 01:07:38.463 -How do you know that? - -01:07:38.567 --> 01:07:41.297 -It was a really long trip. -I read the in-flight magazine. - -01:07:43.105 --> 01:07:44.402 -Cut! - -01:07:44.506 --> 01:07:45.973 -Oh, Jesus! - -01:07:46.074 --> 01:07:48.565 -What do you see, man? I'm blocked. - -01:07:48.677 --> 01:07:50.042 -Damien, cut! - -01:07:51.814 --> 01:07:53.406 -Hey, Damien, cut! - -01:07:54.249 --> 01:07:55.910 -They got speedman. - -01:07:56.485 --> 01:07:57.918 -And it doesn't look good. - -01:08:30.586 --> 01:08:31.883 -I am tran. - -01:08:32.855 --> 01:08:35.016 -You are a trespasser in my poppy fields. - -01:08:36.425 --> 01:08:39.053 -You are d.E.A. Scum! - -01:08:40.996 --> 01:08:44.432 -Were there some re-writes -that I missed? - -01:08:50.739 --> 01:08:52.229 -Do you want to die? - -01:08:53.008 --> 01:08:54.475 -- Do you? -- No! - -01:08:54.576 --> 01:08:58.706 -Please, don't hurt me! - -01:09:06.588 --> 01:09:07.782 -Say that again. - -01:09:08.790 --> 01:09:10.587 -Please, don't hurt me. - -01:09:10.692 --> 01:09:13.786 -No! Like you did before! Say it! - -01:09:14.763 --> 01:09:15.763 -Say it! - -01:09:15.864 --> 01:09:19.857 -Please, don't hurt me! - -01:09:35.484 --> 01:09:38.078 -- What? -- You are simple Jack. - -01:09:41.056 --> 01:09:42.921 -You saw simple Jack? - -01:09:43.025 --> 01:09:45.357 -We love the tale of this man, -simple Jack. - -01:09:47.062 --> 01:09:48.893 -We do not have many luxury here. - -01:09:48.997 --> 01:09:51.431 -And simple Jack is the only movie -we possess. - -01:09:51.533 --> 01:09:55.367 -You got the vhs. - -01:09:55.470 --> 01:09:57.529 -We've watched it many, many times. - -01:09:57.639 --> 01:10:00.107 -You should've got Oscar. - -01:10:03.145 --> 01:10:04.908 -Well, you know. It's... - -01:10:06.181 --> 01:10:08.777 -Just to be nominated... -You were nominated? - -01:10:08.884 --> 01:10:10.408 -No, no, no. I wasn't nominated. - -01:10:10.519 --> 01:10:13.682 -I'm just saying that to have been -nominated would have been nice. - -01:10:13.789 --> 01:10:16.189 -It's just... it's very political. -You have to take out ads... - -01:10:16.258 --> 01:10:18.749 -- Shut up now! -- Okay. Okay. - -01:10:19.595 --> 01:10:21.324 -So, are you going to - -01:10:22.965 --> 01:10:24.592 -let me go, or... - -01:10:24.700 --> 01:10:26.827 -No. We'll hold you for ransom. - -01:10:26.935 --> 01:10:28.732 -Much more money now! - -01:10:40.315 --> 01:10:41.315 -He's in a meeting. - -01:10:41.416 --> 01:10:44.180 -Yeah, I know. -In about two seconds with the pecker. - -01:10:45.220 --> 01:10:47.085 -I'm gonna rip your fucking tits off. - -01:10:47.189 --> 01:10:49.851 -You wanna talk about trouble? -That's trouble. - -01:10:49.958 --> 01:10:51.516 -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - -01:10:53.428 --> 01:10:55.328 -What do you need, peck? - -01:10:55.430 --> 01:10:58.058 -No, more like what do you need, les? - -01:10:58.166 --> 01:10:59.360 -Glasses? - -01:11:00.435 --> 01:11:01.493 -What? - -01:11:01.603 --> 01:11:04.094 -So you can read -the tropic thunder contract - -01:11:04.206 --> 01:11:06.606 -that guarantees my client, -tugg speedman, - -01:11:06.708 --> 01:11:10.439 -some form of digital video recorder -on location. - -01:11:11.213 --> 01:11:13.340 -- Huh? -- I can't believe you let him in. - -01:11:14.983 --> 01:11:17.816 -Look, fuckstick, I'm incredibly busy, -so why don't you get the hell out of here - -01:11:17.919 --> 01:11:20.979 -before I snap your dick off -and jam it into your ass? - -01:11:21.089 --> 01:11:23.114 -No, not you, Helen. - -01:11:23.225 --> 01:11:26.922 -But I will rip your tits off -if you don't get me those theaters. - -01:11:27.029 --> 01:11:28.553 -Perfect. - -01:11:28.664 --> 01:11:31.098 -Hey, tuggernuts, -I've got you on speakerphone. - -01:11:31.199 --> 01:11:33.064 -I'm standing here with les Grossman, - -01:11:33.168 --> 01:11:36.331 -and he is dying to tell you -why he's apparently wiped his ass - -01:11:36.438 --> 01:11:38.736 -with the TiVo clause from your contract. - -01:11:39.941 --> 01:11:41.932 -We are flaming dragon. - -01:11:42.044 --> 01:11:44.410 -Speedman is with us now. - -01:11:44.513 --> 01:11:48.074 -For 50 million, you will get him back. - -01:11:48.183 --> 01:11:50.344 -- Are you gonna get those... -- Who is this? - -01:11:50.452 --> 01:11:53.148 -- And how did you get this phone? -- We are flaming dragon! - -01:11:53.255 --> 01:11:55.155 -Simple Jack belong to us now. - -01:11:57.893 --> 01:11:59.918 -He does, does he? - -01:12:00.028 --> 01:12:02.496 -Let me tell you something, shitbird. - -01:12:02.597 --> 01:12:05.031 -I've never even heard -of your little agency. - -01:12:05.133 --> 01:12:07.101 -But if you think -you can poach my client... - -01:12:07.202 --> 01:12:11.730 -Send $50 million, or you no see -simple Jack again because we kill him. - -01:12:11.840 --> 01:12:13.330 -This is les Grossman. Who is this? - -01:12:13.442 --> 01:12:15.740 -This is flaming dragon! - -01:12:15.844 --> 01:12:18.608 -Okay. Flaming dragon. Fuckface. - -01:12:18.714 --> 01:12:23.549 -First, take a big step back -and literally fuck your own face! - -01:12:24.920 --> 01:12:27.650 -Now, I don't know what kind of -pan-pacific bullshit power play - -01:12:27.756 --> 01:12:30.224 -you're trying to pull here, -but Asia, Jack, is my territory. - -01:12:30.325 --> 01:12:31.622 -So whatever you're thinking, -you better think again. - -01:12:31.727 --> 01:12:33.092 -Otherwise, I'm gonna -have to head down there, - -01:12:33.195 --> 01:12:36.562 -and I will rain down an ungodly -fucking firestorm upon you. - -01:12:36.665 --> 01:12:38.292 -You're gonna have to call -the fucking united nations - -01:12:38.400 --> 01:12:42.427 -and get a fucking binding resolution -to keep me from fucking destroying you. - -01:12:42.537 --> 01:12:45.131 -I am talking scorched earth, -motherfucker! - -01:12:45.240 --> 01:12:47.003 -I will massacre you! - -01:12:47.109 --> 01:12:49.043 -I will fuck you up! - -01:12:56.852 --> 01:12:58.892 -- Could you find out who that was? Go. -- Yeah. Yeah. - -01:13:34.022 --> 01:13:37.014 -You wear these. -More like simple Jack teeth. - -01:13:37.125 --> 01:13:38.854 -Okay. - -01:13:38.960 --> 01:13:41.622 -Hey. Look, I know you're a big fan, -and that's great... - -01:13:44.699 --> 01:13:46.326 -Put teeth in! - -01:13:53.441 --> 01:13:55.306 -Now do movie. - -01:13:55.410 --> 01:13:57.071 -The whole movie? - -01:13:57.179 --> 01:13:58.840 -I can't. I don't know the whole... - -01:13:58.947 --> 01:14:01.438 -You perform! You perform or die! - -01:14:02.184 --> 01:14:03.674 -Monkey swine! - -01:14:06.588 --> 01:14:07.987 -Pa. - -01:14:09.958 --> 01:14:11.323 -More stupid! - -01:14:13.094 --> 01:14:18.157 -Pa, why you gotta make me feel bad? - -01:14:20.602 --> 01:14:21.933 -You saw what I saw. - -01:14:22.037 --> 01:14:24.631 -Tugg speedman is dead meat -if we don't do something soon. - -01:14:24.739 --> 01:14:27.105 -Yeah. We could do something -by getting our asses back to the hotel, - -01:14:27.209 --> 01:14:28.540 -which is in the other direction! - -01:14:28.643 --> 01:14:30.235 -Ain't right. - -01:14:30.345 --> 01:14:32.370 -What would've happened -in the great escape - -01:14:32.480 --> 01:14:36.314 -if Steve McQueen and them dudes -had turned tail and ran? - -01:14:36.418 --> 01:14:40.411 -Well, that's what that movie was about. -They were escaping. They ran away. - -01:14:40.522 --> 01:14:43.150 -I'm trying to agree with you. -The point is they did something. - -01:14:43.258 --> 01:14:44.452 -Then what are we supposed to do, huh? - -01:14:44.559 --> 01:14:48.461 -'Cause he's cleaning a gun -with no bullets. Yeah, that's a plan. - -01:14:48.563 --> 01:14:52.693 -I'm just like a little boy, -playing with his dick when he's nervous. - -01:14:55.904 --> 01:14:58.395 -Wait a minute. Wait a minute. -Wait a minute. - -01:14:58.506 --> 01:15:01.566 -I got an idea. -This might be a little crazy. - -01:15:01.676 --> 01:15:03.644 -Crazy's better than nothing. - -01:15:03.745 --> 01:15:07.704 -Back in '98, I did a low-budget -titty comedy for skinemax. - -01:15:07.816 --> 01:15:11.149 -- Sex camp. Remember it? -- Yeah. - -01:15:11.253 --> 01:15:15.212 -Anyway, me and the campers -from the uncool camp - -01:15:15.323 --> 01:15:17.848 -had to break into the rich girl camp. - -01:15:17.959 --> 01:15:19.654 -So, what we did, - -01:15:19.761 --> 01:15:22.753 -we built a catapult -out of logs and underwear, - -01:15:22.864 --> 01:15:26.425 -and they shot us over the wall, -and we parachuted down. - -01:15:32.040 --> 01:15:35.567 -Look, you guys, we -already know the plan. - -01:15:35.677 --> 01:15:37.645 -Are you fucking kidding me? -I'm giving you gold. - -01:15:37.746 --> 01:15:42.115 -We do it just like in the book, -chapter 26, the wet offensive. - -01:15:42.217 --> 01:15:44.617 -The book of tropic thunder. - -01:15:44.719 --> 01:15:46.949 -Yeah, did you guys read the book? - -01:15:48.256 --> 01:15:50.884 -The flap, I read the back flap -and saw the pictures. - -01:15:51.660 --> 01:15:54.788 -Well, it's okay. -It's exactly the same as in the script. - -01:15:54.896 --> 01:15:55.954 -Cool. - -01:15:57.933 --> 01:16:00.493 -You guys all read the script, right? - -01:16:00.602 --> 01:16:02.695 -I don't read the script, script reads me. - -01:16:03.872 --> 01:16:05.339 -What the hell does that even mean? - -01:16:05.440 --> 01:16:08.807 -What you getting at with the books, -scripts? Spit that shit out, man! - -01:16:12.147 --> 01:16:13.978 -All right. The wet offensive. - -01:16:15.016 --> 01:16:17.918 -Osiris and fats go undercover -as a diversion. - -01:16:18.019 --> 01:16:20.351 -Motown and Brooklyn sneak in -via the river. - -01:16:20.455 --> 01:16:22.855 -Yeah. But those dudes -was trained soldiers. - -01:16:24.726 --> 01:16:25.784 -Yeah! - -01:16:26.861 --> 01:16:29.853 -And we trained actors, motherfucker. - -01:16:29.965 --> 01:16:34.299 -Time to man up. -And I ain't gonna sugarcoat. - -01:16:34.402 --> 01:16:37.166 -Some of us -might not even make it back. - -01:16:37.272 --> 01:16:40.366 -What do you mean? -Like not on the same flight? - -01:16:43.078 --> 01:16:45.842 -Alpa and I's already wearing -earth mama's natural night camo. - -01:16:45.947 --> 01:16:47.778 -- Cool it, Benson. -- Sorry. - -01:16:48.850 --> 01:16:53.378 -We gonna scout, get a plan together. -We ain't back in 20, come looking. - -01:16:54.889 --> 01:16:56.754 -We are flaming dragon. - -01:17:00.495 --> 01:17:01.689 -Okay. - -01:17:02.998 --> 01:17:06.092 -Flaming dragon's -a heroin manufacturer. - -01:17:06.201 --> 01:17:09.295 -They're responsible -for an eighth of the drug trade in Asia. - -01:17:09.404 --> 01:17:12.635 -- Huge profit margin. -- Guys! - -01:17:12.741 --> 01:17:15.676 -Would somebody please let me know -what the game plan is? - -01:17:15.777 --> 01:17:17.506 -Peck! We have it handled. - -01:17:17.612 --> 01:17:20.103 -Please, don't interrupt. -Everything's under control. - -01:17:20.215 --> 01:17:22.206 -I got it. Got it. - -01:17:34.329 --> 01:17:36.559 -- Les Grossman. -- We not get money yet. - -01:17:37.098 --> 01:17:39.225 -Price now 100 million! - -01:17:39.334 --> 01:17:42.167 -You pay now, -or tomorrow simple Jack die. - -01:17:42.270 --> 01:17:45.330 -Great. Let me get this down. - -01:17:45.440 --> 01:17:46.873 -100 million. - -01:17:46.975 --> 01:17:49.443 -Wait! I got a better idea. - -01:17:50.245 --> 01:17:52.076 -Instead of 100 million, - -01:17:52.180 --> 01:17:55.047 -how about I send you -a hobo's dick cheese? - -01:17:55.150 --> 01:17:57.470 -Then you kill him! Do your thing! -Skin the fucking bastard! - -01:17:57.552 --> 01:17:59.747 -Go to town, man! Go to town! - -01:17:59.854 --> 01:18:02.015 -- No... -- In the meantime, and as usual, - -01:18:02.123 --> 01:18:03.784 -go fuck yourself! - -01:18:04.893 --> 01:18:07.453 -- No. -- We don't negotiate with terrorists. - -01:18:09.564 --> 01:18:12.294 -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! -Hey, hey, are you insane? - -01:18:12.400 --> 01:18:14.231 -- I think I could've done that better. -- I thought it was good. - -01:18:14.335 --> 01:18:16.200 -They're gonna kill him! - -01:18:19.274 --> 01:18:20.332 -And? - -01:18:22.677 --> 01:18:23.803 -"And?" - -01:18:25.180 --> 01:18:29.207 -It's a cold, hard world. Shit happens. - -01:18:31.519 --> 01:18:34.716 -We'll weep for him, in the press. - -01:18:34.856 --> 01:18:37.518 -Set up a scholarship in his name. - -01:18:37.625 --> 01:18:41.561 -Eventually, and I'm talking way, -way down the road, - -01:18:41.663 --> 01:18:43.153 -we file an insurance claim. - -01:18:43.264 --> 01:18:46.062 -Preferably before -the end of the fiscal year. - -01:18:46.167 --> 01:18:49.898 -Actually, the claim alone would net us -more than the movie would lose. - -01:18:52.006 --> 01:18:53.769 -You can't be serious. - -01:18:55.009 --> 01:18:56.567 -You kick in the door to my house, - -01:18:56.678 --> 01:19:02.139 -all ants in your pants, -sucking my left nut to get a TiVo scrap - -01:19:02.250 --> 01:19:06.846 -for the third runner-up -sexiest man alive 1998, - -01:19:06.955 --> 01:19:09.321 -and you're asking if I'm serious? - -01:19:13.194 --> 01:19:14.889 -Let's face it. - -01:19:14.996 --> 01:19:19.023 -The kids aren't dressing up as scorcher -for purim anymore. - -01:19:20.435 --> 01:19:23.427 -Speedman is a dying star, - -01:19:23.538 --> 01:19:26.769 -a white dwarf heading for a black hole. - -01:19:26.875 --> 01:19:29.605 -That's physics. It's inevitable. - -01:19:29.711 --> 01:19:33.044 -We've been handed -an incredible opportunity here, peck. - -01:19:33.148 --> 01:19:36.982 -The universe is talking to us right now. - -01:19:37.085 --> 01:19:38.643 -You just gotta listen. - -01:19:51.766 --> 01:19:55.361 -See, this is the good part, pecker. -This is when the job gets fun. - -01:19:55.470 --> 01:19:56.562 -Yeah. - -01:19:56.671 --> 01:19:59.834 -Ask and you shall receive. - -01:20:00.875 --> 01:20:05.005 -- All right. -- You play ball, we play ball. - -01:20:05.113 --> 01:20:08.480 -I know you want the goodies. - -01:20:08.583 --> 01:20:10.574 -Welcome to the goody room. - -01:20:10.685 --> 01:20:15.315 -You paying attention? -'Cause I'm talking g5 for the pecker. - -01:20:15.423 --> 01:20:16.685 -That's how you're gonna roll. - -01:20:16.791 --> 01:20:20.750 -No more frequent flier -bitch Miles for my boy. - -01:20:20.862 --> 01:20:22.159 -Yeah! - -01:20:22.664 --> 01:20:23.926 -Playa. - -01:20:24.799 --> 01:20:26.130 -Playa! - -01:20:27.168 --> 01:20:28.465 -Big dick playa. - -01:20:28.570 --> 01:20:30.561 -Swinging past your knees! - -01:20:30.672 --> 01:20:31.696 -Big dick, baby. - -01:20:31.806 --> 01:20:33.000 -Yep. - -01:20:36.344 --> 01:20:38.938 -Or you can grow a conscience - -01:20:39.047 --> 01:20:41.413 -in the next five minutes -and see where that takes you. - -01:20:46.387 --> 01:20:48.480 -Let me get this straight. - -01:20:48.590 --> 01:20:52.219 -You want me -to let my client of 15 years, - -01:20:52.327 --> 01:20:53.692 -one of my best friends, - -01:20:53.795 --> 01:20:58.425 -die in the jungle, alone, -for some money and a g5? - -01:20:59.567 --> 01:21:00.693 -Yes. - -01:21:05.773 --> 01:21:08.037 -A g5 airplane? - -01:21:10.144 --> 01:21:11.202 -Yes. - -01:21:12.280 --> 01:21:14.976 -And lots of money. - -01:21:16.351 --> 01:21:18.512 -Playa. - -01:21:21.422 --> 01:21:22.616 -Yeah! - -01:21:23.858 --> 01:21:26.452 -Smack it up, flip it, rub it down! - -01:21:29.030 --> 01:21:31.692 -But mama take care of Jack a lot. - -01:21:32.533 --> 01:21:36.264 -How many more sleeps -before she wakes up again? - -01:21:36.371 --> 01:21:37.895 -Sorry, Jack. - -01:21:38.006 --> 01:21:40.270 -She in heaven now. - -01:21:41.042 --> 01:21:44.307 -Damn! I thought the movie was bad. - -01:21:44.412 --> 01:21:47.540 -She sleep forever. - -01:21:47.649 --> 01:21:50.777 -To the man's credit, he's actually -eased up on the retard throttle. - -01:21:50.885 --> 01:21:54.480 -And now that's added a balance, -and the audience can connect. - -01:21:54.589 --> 01:21:58.389 -I mean, this is theater 101, -but, you know, he's had a tough road. - -01:21:58.493 --> 01:21:59.619 -He'll become a naturalist. - -01:21:59.727 --> 01:22:01.447 -- Yeah. -- Break down the aesthetic distance, - -01:22:01.529 --> 01:22:03.258 -then the... - -01:22:05.933 --> 01:22:07.560 -Told you I'd tag you back. - -01:22:10.238 --> 01:22:12.502 -Can I tell you that I'm sorry - -01:22:12.607 --> 01:22:14.905 -for any offense I might've caused, man? - -01:22:15.009 --> 01:22:17.375 -- I just got caught up in... -- In being a dumbass? - -01:22:17.478 --> 01:22:18.877 -I guess so. - -01:22:18.980 --> 01:22:21.676 -Why you still doing this -chicken George shit, I have no idea. - -01:22:21.783 --> 01:22:23.080 -- Neither do I. -- It's beyond me. - -01:22:23.184 --> 01:22:25.379 -- It's beyond me. -- You confused. - -01:22:25.486 --> 01:22:27.420 -- I am a little confused. -- I know. - -01:22:29.023 --> 01:22:30.820 -But are we cool? - -01:22:30.925 --> 01:22:32.256 -Not really. - -01:22:36.064 --> 01:22:37.656 -Hey, man. - -01:22:37.765 --> 01:22:39.460 -- How's it going? -- Good. Yourself? - -01:22:39.567 --> 01:22:41.592 -Hey, so, if it's no big deal, - -01:22:41.703 --> 01:22:44.570 -I think I'm just gonna hang back here -for the mission. - -01:22:44.672 --> 01:22:46.299 -Watch the stuff. - -01:22:46.407 --> 01:22:48.432 -- Is that cool? -- What? No! - -01:22:48.543 --> 01:22:50.443 -We need you, Jeff. - -01:22:50.545 --> 01:22:52.137 -What are you talking about? - -01:22:52.246 --> 01:22:53.804 -Okay, look, man. - -01:22:55.049 --> 01:22:57.347 -- I got something to tell you. -- Okay. - -01:22:59.587 --> 01:23:02.317 -You know those jellybeans -I was eating? - -01:23:02.423 --> 01:23:05.517 -Well, they weren't jellybeans, okay? - -01:23:06.427 --> 01:23:09.225 -- They were drugs. -- Really? - -01:23:09.330 --> 01:23:13.699 -I get down there near the mother lode, -I am done. I'm jonesing bad, man. - -01:23:13.801 --> 01:23:16.736 -I'm gonna fucking do all the heroin -in the fucking world. - -01:23:20.041 --> 01:23:24.205 -If you guys wanna make it through -this thing, you gotta strap me to a tree. - -01:23:25.580 --> 01:23:29.346 -- Are you serious? -- Yeah, I'm serious. Literally, a tree. - -01:23:29.450 --> 01:23:32.330 -And you can, no matter what, you can't -fucking untie me until it is done, - -01:23:32.420 --> 01:23:33.978 -until it is out of my system. - -01:23:34.088 --> 01:23:35.715 -I'm gonna say, -"hey, man, I'm cool. It's cool. - -01:23:35.823 --> 01:23:37.381 -"I'm finally better. I'm finally better. -Untie me." - -01:23:37.492 --> 01:23:40.689 -Don't listen to me! -Anything I fucking say is a lie! - -01:23:40.795 --> 01:23:42.126 -You got it! - -01:23:42.797 --> 01:23:44.856 -Goodbye, mama! - -01:23:44.966 --> 01:23:48.094 -Now you can have ice cream in heaven. - -01:23:48.202 --> 01:23:53.162 -I'll see you tonight, when I go to bed, -in my head movies. - -01:23:54.108 --> 01:23:58.704 -But this head movie -makes my eyes rain. - -01:24:07.755 --> 01:24:10.986 -Dang. -Short-bus is taking some real hits. - -01:24:12.860 --> 01:24:15.658 -- They got him on the move! -- That's torture, man. - -01:24:15.797 --> 01:24:18.664 -Okay. That's where they keeping him. - -01:24:18.766 --> 01:24:20.961 -I gotta get cracking on my costume. - -01:24:21.068 --> 01:24:22.467 -Say, are you good -with a needle and thread? - -01:24:22.570 --> 01:24:23.594 -Hell, yeah. - -01:24:23.704 --> 01:24:27.037 -Alpa chino chinos sold more than -five million pairs last spring at the gap. - -01:24:27.141 --> 01:24:29.837 -- I sewed them patterns myself, baby. -- Let's roll out. - -01:25:01.843 --> 01:25:04.073 -It's a little twig man Oscar. - -01:25:10.685 --> 01:25:13.085 -I'm going to call you half squat. - -01:25:14.789 --> 01:25:16.757 -And you can call me - -01:25:17.825 --> 01:25:19.122 -papa. - -01:25:42.617 --> 01:25:44.346 -Wow, look at all those stars. - -01:25:46.320 --> 01:25:48.288 -Really makes a guy feel pretty small. - -01:25:49.824 --> 01:25:52.384 -This could be the last time -we look at these stars. - -01:25:53.361 --> 01:25:54.828 -Man, that's beauty. - -01:25:56.764 --> 01:25:59.824 -Nights like tonight -make a man wonder what it's all about. - -01:25:59.934 --> 01:26:02.232 -Hey, you guys. -Anybody got some bug spray? - -01:26:04.071 --> 01:26:05.197 -Don't ignore me! - -01:26:05.306 --> 01:26:08.173 -Stick it out, man. -We're gonna get through this. - -01:26:09.310 --> 01:26:11.369 -- Hey, kirk? -- Yeah? - -01:26:11.479 --> 01:26:14.312 -Are you still dating -Jennifer love Hewitt? - -01:26:14.415 --> 01:26:15.814 -'Cause I think she's hot. - -01:26:15.917 --> 01:26:19.284 -No, that was just some -tabloid conjecture. - -01:26:19.387 --> 01:26:23.380 -Hey, guys, I'm good. I made it through. -You can untie me now. - -01:26:24.458 --> 01:26:25.789 -Funny, huh? - -01:26:25.893 --> 01:26:28.794 -The circus life 280 days a year -on location. - -01:26:30.031 --> 01:26:32.932 -It's hard to find a girl -that can hang with that, you know? - -01:26:34.735 --> 01:26:36.794 -Not one worth keeping, nohow. - -01:26:36.904 --> 01:26:39.202 -Hey, radar? Evans? - -01:26:39.307 --> 01:26:40.365 -No, it's Kevin. - -01:26:40.474 --> 01:26:42.203 -Kev, whatever the fuck. -Come over here. - -01:26:42.310 --> 01:26:44.540 -I didn't tell you, but fatties: Fart three -is coming down the pike, - -01:26:44.645 --> 01:26:48.137 -and there's a role in there for you -if you come over and untie me. - -01:26:48.249 --> 01:26:50.809 -Jeff, you're just going to -have to tough it out. - -01:26:50.918 --> 01:26:52.886 -Your mother's a cankerous whore! - -01:26:52.987 --> 01:26:54.318 -Jesus, man. - -01:26:55.356 --> 01:26:56.823 -Hey, man. - -01:26:56.924 --> 01:26:59.825 -Remember way back when I said -your mother was a cankerous whore? - -01:26:59.927 --> 01:27:03.328 -I'm sorry, man. -I did not mean that. She's not. - -01:27:03.431 --> 01:27:05.126 -How about you, man? - -01:27:05.266 --> 01:27:07.700 -You got some little minx waiting for you -on the other side of tomorrow? - -01:27:07.802 --> 01:27:09.269 -Me? - -01:27:09.370 --> 01:27:12.134 -I've barely even had a girlfriend, and... - -01:27:12.974 --> 01:27:16.637 -I was really hoping I'd get laid -when this movie came out, - -01:27:16.744 --> 01:27:19.144 -but that's not gonna happen. - -01:27:20.014 --> 01:27:21.481 -What about you, masterblaster? - -01:27:21.582 --> 01:27:24.263 -You got a certain someone you trying -to get with back in the states? - -01:27:24.318 --> 01:27:29.051 -What, alpa chino? -He's like 10 girls deep, 24/7. - -01:27:29.156 --> 01:27:30.384 -No. You missing me, man. - -01:27:30.491 --> 01:27:32.288 -I'm talking about something special. -Big difference. - -01:27:32.393 --> 01:27:33.587 -How about it? - -01:27:34.362 --> 01:27:35.488 -Yeah. - -01:27:36.897 --> 01:27:38.865 -Yeah, there is. - -01:27:38.966 --> 01:27:42.299 -Well? What's the skinny? -Y'all been on a date or what? - -01:27:42.403 --> 01:27:44.303 -No. I mean... - -01:27:44.405 --> 01:27:49.240 -I always wanted to, but I guess -I just never had the courage to ask. - -01:27:49.343 --> 01:27:51.038 -It's... it's complicated. - -01:27:51.145 --> 01:27:53.579 -No! It's simple as pie, man. - -01:27:53.681 --> 01:27:56.275 -You plant your feet in the ground, you -look her square in the eyes, you say, - -01:27:56.384 --> 01:28:00.013 -"hey, baby, you and me's going -on a date." That's the end of story. - -01:28:00.121 --> 01:28:02.817 -- What's her name? -- Lance. - -01:28:02.923 --> 01:28:04.686 -"Listen here, Lance..." - -01:28:05.559 --> 01:28:09.359 -Lance? What the fuck did I just hear? -Lance? - -01:28:09.463 --> 01:28:11.192 -- Did you say "Lance"? -- No! - -01:28:11.298 --> 01:28:13.258 -- That sounded like "Lance." -- No, I said "Nance." - -01:28:13.334 --> 01:28:15.575 -- That's what I said, "Nance." -- It sounded like "Lance." - -01:28:15.603 --> 01:28:17.127 -Look, I'm alpa chino, okay? - -01:28:17.238 --> 01:28:18.899 -I love the pussy! All right? - -01:28:19.006 --> 01:28:20.906 -Lay your ass back down -and look at the stars. - -01:28:21.042 --> 01:28:22.373 -When you wrote I love tha pussy - -01:28:22.476 --> 01:28:25.843 -was you thinking of dangling your dice -on Lance's forehead? - -01:28:25.946 --> 01:28:28.312 -Oh, hell, no! What? Come on. Look. - -01:28:28.416 --> 01:28:31.351 -- Man, everyone's gay once in a while. -- I'm not gay! - -01:28:31.452 --> 01:28:32.476 -This Hollywood. - -01:28:32.586 --> 01:28:33.644 -How about we all get back to work? - -01:28:33.754 --> 01:28:35.415 -- Okay. Cool. -- This is ridiculous! - -01:28:35.523 --> 01:28:38.424 -We got a big day tomorrow. -Let's get focused. - -01:28:40.995 --> 01:28:45.830 -Alpa, if you untie me, -I will literally suck your dick right now. - -01:28:45.933 --> 01:28:49.164 -I told you, for the last time, -I love the pussy! - -01:28:50.538 --> 01:28:53.371 -I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, - -01:28:53.474 --> 01:28:56.568 -work the pipe and swallow the gravy. - -01:28:56.677 --> 01:28:58.736 -Get it over here, buddy. Let's do this. - -01:29:05.319 --> 01:29:06.377 -Okay, so, what's the plan? - -01:29:06.487 --> 01:29:07.886 -Are you gonna talk vietnamese -to those dudes? - -01:29:07.988 --> 01:29:09.751 -No. No. Mandarin Chinese. - -01:29:09.857 --> 01:29:11.552 -Which, from what I can tell, -is what they speaking down there. - -01:29:11.659 --> 01:29:13.217 -How the hell do you know Chinese? - -01:29:13.327 --> 01:29:16.785 -Land of silk and money with gong li. -Second globe, third Oscar. - -01:29:16.897 --> 01:29:20.856 -Prepped for that one by working in -a Beijing textile factory for eight months. - -01:29:20.968 --> 01:29:22.902 -That might be our ride. - -01:29:39.653 --> 01:29:40.881 -The straps are too tight! - -01:29:40.988 --> 01:29:43.354 -Shut your mouth and follow my lead. - -01:30:11.252 --> 01:30:14.221 -The straps are cutting off -my circulation! - -01:30:14.321 --> 01:30:15.321 -Fuck you! - -01:30:22.797 --> 01:30:25.698 -Not the fucking bull again. -Fucking asshole. - -01:31:19.753 --> 01:31:22.449 -Laz, don't let him take me off the yak. - -01:31:26.961 --> 01:31:29.225 -Bitch whore! Fucking hate you! - -01:31:39.373 --> 01:31:40.567 -Okay. - -01:31:42.776 --> 01:31:44.334 -All right. - -01:31:44.445 --> 01:31:46.845 -That looks like it could be -the munitions hut right there. - -01:31:46.947 --> 01:31:49.006 -I'm gonna try to find speedman -in the main building. - -01:32:06.901 --> 01:32:10.598 -I don't know Chinese but it sounds like -your improvising is for shit. - -01:32:10.704 --> 01:32:11.830 -Oh, fuck! - -01:32:27.354 --> 01:32:28.946 -Get over here! - -01:32:30.324 --> 01:32:31.882 -- What are you guys doing here? -- He has hands. - -01:32:31.992 --> 01:32:34.392 -- He killed Damien. -- Bullshit! - -01:32:34.495 --> 01:32:36.986 -- He blinded Jamie Lee Curtis. -- Almost! - -01:32:37.097 --> 01:32:40.294 -What are you talking about? -Damien stepped on a old landmine. - -01:32:40.401 --> 01:32:41.959 -Sweet. Thank God. - -01:32:42.069 --> 01:32:44.264 -- We busting speedman out. -- Speedman's here? - -01:33:12.433 --> 01:33:15.027 -I take it y'all are doing -the wet offensive from the book. - -01:33:15.135 --> 01:33:16.397 -I can give y'all a diversion. - -01:33:16.503 --> 01:33:20.439 -I got enough shit here to light this place -up like it's the fourth of fucking July. - -01:34:01.915 --> 01:34:04.383 -Yes, your farm. - -01:34:08.756 --> 01:34:11.156 -Where is your farm, - -01:34:12.726 --> 01:34:14.193 -American? - -01:34:17.031 --> 01:34:18.293 -My farm? - -01:34:20.234 --> 01:34:21.496 -Oh, shit. - -01:34:22.269 --> 01:34:25.466 -Here's my motherfucking farm! - -01:34:25.572 --> 01:34:27.062 -Yeah! - -01:34:32.012 --> 01:34:35.004 -Yeah! Chicka-chickaw, baby! - -01:34:36.016 --> 01:34:37.210 -Kwan-lo! - -01:34:38.719 --> 01:34:40.619 -I'm a lead farmer, motherfucker! - -01:34:41.121 --> 01:34:42.281 -Yeah! - -01:34:43.857 --> 01:34:47.054 -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, -keep your head down! - -01:34:47.161 --> 01:34:49.425 -Keep your head down on the ground! - -01:34:49.530 --> 01:34:51.691 -Nobody move or I do the little big guy! - -01:34:51.799 --> 01:34:55.235 -That's right, -we running this program now, j.P. - -01:34:55.335 --> 01:34:57.963 -Now show me where the drugs are. - -01:34:58.072 --> 01:34:59.869 -What the fuck? - -01:34:59.973 --> 01:35:01.668 -That ain't the plan! - -01:35:01.775 --> 01:35:03.470 -Don't judge me! - -01:35:07.147 --> 01:35:08.910 -He's got a real serious problem. - -01:35:09.716 --> 01:35:11.980 -Hey! Hey, you! - -01:35:12.086 --> 01:35:16.049 -Take off your clothes! - -01:35:16.156 --> 01:35:17.453 -What do we do now? - -01:35:17.558 --> 01:35:19.389 -Stick with the plan. Find speedman. - -01:35:19.493 --> 01:35:21.893 -Alpa, keep this clown posse down. -Come on now. - -01:35:21.995 --> 01:35:25.362 -Y'all heard the man. -Be suede, don't move! - -01:35:25.466 --> 01:35:27.366 -Fuck your do-rag. Fuck your do-rag. - -01:35:27.468 --> 01:35:29.959 -- Door! -- One, two, three! - -01:35:43.250 --> 01:35:45.081 -I go high, you go low. - -01:35:49.456 --> 01:35:53.324 -Get down. Get down! Get down! -Chow yun-fat, get the hell down! - -01:35:53.427 --> 01:35:56.726 -If I see one more head pop up, -it's gonna be bullet whac-a-mole. - -01:35:58.298 --> 01:35:59.731 -Come on, come on! - -01:35:59.833 --> 01:36:01.824 -- Smoke grenade. -- Don't drop it now. - -01:36:02.503 --> 01:36:04.061 -Here. - -01:36:04.171 --> 01:36:06.568 -- What's this? -- I don't know what it's called. - -01:36:06.673 --> 01:36:09.267 -I just know the sound it makes -when it lies. - -01:36:09.376 --> 01:36:12.903 -Don't move, matchbox, -or I will shoot you. - -01:36:13.013 --> 01:36:15.880 -I'm gonna put on this thing. Don't move. - -01:36:15.983 --> 01:36:17.712 -I can still see you. - -01:36:23.857 --> 01:36:24.949 -Tugg! - -01:36:27.494 --> 01:36:28.654 -Tugg? - -01:36:30.731 --> 01:36:31.925 -Gotcha. - -01:36:33.100 --> 01:36:36.001 -Roll your shit up, man. We going home. - -01:36:36.103 --> 01:36:37.229 -Home? - -01:36:39.373 --> 01:36:43.207 -But I'm doing five shows a day -for a standing-room-only crowd. - -01:36:43.310 --> 01:36:45.870 -Don't you get it? I already am home. - -01:36:48.182 --> 01:36:51.310 -All right, now, dude, you gotta get it... - -01:36:51.418 --> 01:36:53.613 -My son gave this to me. - -01:36:53.720 --> 01:36:57.212 -- That's your stick buddy? -- His name is twigman. - -01:36:57.324 --> 01:36:59.155 -Does he wanna come with us? - -01:37:20.147 --> 01:37:22.274 -Get down! Get down! Get down! - -01:37:22.382 --> 01:37:27.342 -Maybe y'all heard of me. -Y'all heard of alpa chino? No? - -01:37:27.454 --> 01:37:29.922 -I love that pussy, hell, yeah, hell, yeah - -01:37:30.023 --> 01:37:31.149 -they're not your demo, dude. - -01:37:31.625 --> 01:37:34.025 +00:04:43.451 --> 00:04:44.911 Come on. -Six motherfucking vmas, baby. -01:37:34.127 --> 01:37:37.324 -Two bet awards. Alpa chino. +00:04:46.120 --> 00:04:48.373 +Where the fuck is he? Come on. -01:37:37.431 --> 01:37:43.836 -Like him in carlito's way? +00:04:50.625 --> 00:04:52.794 +Unit 5, what's your 20? -01:37:44.204 --> 01:37:46.866 -Hey, yo, you know what? -Speak English. I don't speak that stuff. +00:04:52.877 --> 00:04:55.630 +We are approximately two minutes +from that location. -01:37:46.974 --> 01:37:48.908 -What're you sayin'? Huh? +00:05:03.388 --> 00:05:05.974 +Come on, man. Where the hell are you? -01:37:49.009 --> 01:37:53.571 -Devil's advocate. Dog day afternoon. - -01:37:53.947 --> 01:37:56.780 -Cruising. Sea of love. - -01:37:56.883 --> 01:37:59.875 -Real Al Pacino. - -01:37:59.987 --> 01:38:03.582 -Get the fuck down. That's a whole -different dude altogether. - -01:38:03.690 --> 01:38:06.750 -What you doing? What you doing? -Don't touch that gun. - -01:38:06.860 --> 01:38:08.259 -Don't do it! Don't touch that gun! - -01:38:08.362 --> 01:38:10.660 -On my momma, if you touch that gun... - -01:38:15.302 --> 01:38:17.702 -- Oh, shit, it's on! -- Over here! - -01:38:52.105 --> 01:38:53.868 -- What're you doing? -- I'm gonna give these boys - -01:38:53.974 --> 01:38:55.601 -a hanoi high-five. - -01:39:08.255 --> 01:39:09.620 -Shadow me, Pinocchio! - -01:39:10.390 --> 01:39:11.618 -Smoke! - -01:39:17.464 --> 01:39:19.159 -Oh, shit! - -01:39:24.004 --> 01:39:25.528 -Jeff, don't! - -01:39:26.373 --> 01:39:28.364 -It doesn't matter what I do. - -01:39:28.475 --> 01:39:31.444 -I'll always be a screw-up. -No one'll ever respect me. - -01:39:31.545 --> 01:39:35.538 -That is not true, you are not a screw-up! -You make so many people laugh. - -01:39:35.649 --> 01:39:37.879 -They only laugh at my farts. - -01:39:37.984 --> 01:39:39.975 -Jeff, we really need to go now! - -01:39:40.087 --> 01:39:41.679 -This is all I deserve! - -01:40:01.842 --> 01:40:04.072 -Laugh at that, you bastards! - -01:40:04.177 --> 01:40:07.578 -Hilarious! Hilarious! - -01:40:09.116 --> 01:40:11.949 -Let's move. We only have 16 hours -before they wake up. - -01:40:28.235 --> 01:40:29.827 -Sounds like the dinner bell's ringing. - -01:40:29.936 --> 01:40:32.871 -These assholes are gonna be crawling -in here ready to fucking eat us. - -01:40:35.809 --> 01:40:38.676 -There. All right, you keep six right here. - -01:40:40.614 --> 01:40:42.775 -Come on, let's go. - -01:40:42.883 --> 01:40:44.817 -Come on, what are you guys doing? -Let's get out of here! - -01:40:44.918 --> 01:40:46.579 -He's on tilt status. - -01:40:46.686 --> 01:40:50.645 -Same thing happened to me when -I played Neil Armstrong in moonshot. - -01:40:50.757 --> 01:40:52.850 -They found me in an alley in Burbank - -01:40:52.959 --> 01:40:56.190 -trying to re-enter the earth's -atmosphere in an old refrigerator box. - -01:40:56.930 --> 01:40:57.988 -What're you talking about? - -01:40:58.098 --> 01:41:00.464 -Come on, fellas, we really need to go. - -01:41:00.567 --> 01:41:05.004 -Daggomit, blamtucky, -I ain't re-programming a vcr. - -01:41:10.911 --> 01:41:13.141 -Give me the flame thrower. -You gotta start the chopper. - -01:41:13.246 --> 01:41:16.682 -- No, fuck that! Just give me this. -- No time! I'll take care of this! - -01:41:17.918 --> 01:41:19.818 -All right. Give me your hooks. - -01:41:19.920 --> 01:41:21.547 -Don't worry, -I'm not gonna put them on again. - -01:41:21.655 --> 01:41:24.488 -- Just give me your goddamn hooks. -- All right. Here. - -01:41:24.591 --> 01:41:26.752 -Get those boys back to the bird, pronto! - -01:41:31.698 --> 01:41:33.859 -Shit! Enough! - -01:41:33.967 --> 01:41:35.867 -Fake shit! - -01:41:38.972 --> 01:41:40.098 -Fuck! - -01:41:47.814 --> 01:41:50.977 -Go get your guys! -Get them to the chopper! - -01:41:51.084 --> 01:41:53.177 -I'll take care of these yahoos! - -01:41:55.222 --> 01:41:57.486 -You're gonna focus up now, -motherfucker, and say it. - -01:41:57.591 --> 01:41:59.718 -- "It's me, tugg!" -- It's me, tugg. - -01:41:59.826 --> 01:42:01.293 -That's right! Now, tugg who? - -01:42:01.394 --> 01:42:04.192 -- Tugg who? I don't know. Who are you? -- Me? - -01:42:04.297 --> 01:42:05.992 -I know who I am! - -01:42:06.099 --> 01:42:09.830 -I'm a dude playing a dude -disguised as another dude. - -01:42:09.936 --> 01:42:10.994 -What? - -01:42:11.104 --> 01:42:13.197 -You a dude -that don't know what dude he is! - -01:42:13.306 --> 01:42:16.002 -Or are you a dude who has no idea -what dude he is - -01:42:16.109 --> 01:42:17.371 -and claims to know what dude he is... - -01:42:17.477 --> 01:42:19.240 -What the fuck -are you guys talking about? - -01:42:19.346 --> 01:42:20.438 -By playing other dudes? - -01:42:20.547 --> 01:42:21.741 -I know what dude I am! - -01:42:21.848 --> 01:42:24.646 -- You're scared. -- I ain't scared. Scared of what? - -01:42:24.751 --> 01:42:26.013 -Or scared of who? - -01:42:26.119 --> 01:42:28.713 -- Scared of who? -- Come on, guys. We really need to go! - -01:42:28.822 --> 01:42:30.084 -Scared of you. - -01:42:34.995 --> 01:42:37.327 -- Jesus. -- What's going on? - -01:42:37.430 --> 01:42:38.954 -The dudes are emerging. - -01:42:39.065 --> 01:42:40.396 -He's right, you know. - -01:42:42.168 --> 01:42:43.567 -I am not - -01:42:45.138 --> 01:42:46.833 -sergeant Lincoln osiris. - -01:42:51.244 --> 01:42:52.711 -We gotta roll out. - -01:42:52.812 --> 01:42:56.043 -Nor am I father O'Malley. - -01:42:58.285 --> 01:43:01.220 -Or Neil Armstrong. - -01:43:08.795 --> 01:43:10.956 -I think I might be nobody. - -01:43:12.365 --> 01:43:13.525 -Wow! - -01:43:13.633 --> 01:43:16.295 -The insecurity level -with you guys is ridiculous! - -01:43:17.571 --> 01:43:20.540 -- Everybody's got issues! -- Yeah, man, everybody got issues. - -01:43:20.640 --> 01:43:23.200 -Come on! You're kirk Lazarus. - -01:43:23.310 --> 01:43:25.471 -You're the whole reason -I got into acting. - -01:43:25.579 --> 01:43:27.410 -I memorized every single monologue - -01:43:27.514 --> 01:43:30.108 -you ever did -when I was in theater school. - -01:43:30.216 --> 01:43:32.241 -- Really? -- Yeah. And look, tugg! - -01:43:32.352 --> 01:43:34.786 -I saw scorcher I -24 times when I was in eighth grade. - -01:43:34.888 --> 01:43:37.857 -That shit blew me away! -I got high to that shit! You the man! - -01:43:37.958 --> 01:43:41.086 -Yeah, man, scorcher I was great. -Let's get the fuck out of here! - -01:43:41.194 --> 01:43:45.324 -Tugg, tugger, you're the last piece -of the puzzle, buddy. - -01:43:45.432 --> 01:43:48.424 -We need you! Your men need you! -Are you with us? - -01:43:52.772 --> 01:43:54.763 -I'm a rooster illusion. - -01:43:54.874 --> 01:43:56.068 -Fuck it. We'll deal with him later. - -01:43:56.176 --> 01:43:59.339 -Let's move. Come on. Come on. -Double time. Gotta go! - -01:44:01.881 --> 01:44:03.678 -Come on, come on, come on. - -01:44:07.454 --> 01:44:09.388 -Bingo! Move out. - -01:44:11.324 --> 01:44:12.689 -Oh, God. - -01:44:14.661 --> 01:44:17.528 -Just say no to this, -you drug-making midget. - -01:44:22.102 --> 01:44:23.569 -Gotta hold on! - -01:44:29.743 --> 01:44:31.108 -Four leaf! - -01:44:35.849 --> 01:44:37.180 -You grew hands? - -01:44:46.426 --> 01:44:47.950 -Rpg, gentlemen! - -01:44:50.730 --> 01:44:52.254 -Where are you going? - -01:44:57.771 --> 01:45:00.296 -Oh, my God. -I am moving to catering after this. - -01:45:22.328 --> 01:45:23.659 -My ass! - -01:45:26.900 --> 01:45:28.231 -My ass! - -01:45:29.836 --> 01:45:33.101 -Hey, yo! -We gotta get our shit together, tugg! - -01:45:33.206 --> 01:45:35.436 -We gotta get his cracker ass -to the chopper! - -01:45:35.542 --> 01:45:39.842 -Are you still crazy? -We gotta get candisky to the chopper! - -01:45:39.946 --> 01:45:41.413 -It's sandusky. - -01:45:43.283 --> 01:45:46.582 -- Kevin sandusky. -- That's my name. - -01:45:46.686 --> 01:45:48.278 -You remembered my name. - -01:45:48.388 --> 01:45:50.413 -Alpa, go help Cody. - -01:45:50.523 --> 01:45:52.514 -Portnoy, get sandusky -back to the chopper. Go! - -01:45:52.625 --> 01:45:54.456 -- I got him! -- Let's go! - -01:45:55.895 --> 01:45:57.419 -Let's get out of here! - -01:46:09.309 --> 01:46:10.799 -Hey, leaf! - -01:46:10.910 --> 01:46:12.138 -- Leaf! -- Yeah. - -01:46:12.245 --> 01:46:13.245 -Hit the plunger - -01:46:13.346 --> 01:46:15.106 -- as soon as they clear the bridge! -- Got it! - -01:46:19.786 --> 01:46:22.220 -Come on! Get in the chopper! - -01:46:22.422 --> 01:46:25.220 -- Come on! Move! -- Kirk! Wait! - -01:46:29.763 --> 01:46:31.390 -Laz, I'm gonna blow the bridge! - -01:46:31.498 --> 01:46:33.295 -Are you the special effects guy? - -01:46:33.399 --> 01:46:35.526 -- You God damn right I am. -- Fuck yeah! - -01:46:35.935 --> 01:46:37.129 -Leaf's about to blow the bridge. +00:05:09.811 --> 00:05:11.062 Come on! -01:46:37.237 --> 01:46:39.831 -You don't have to! You don't have to! -I'm staying. +00:05:13.022 --> 00:05:14.816 +Come on! -01:46:39.939 --> 01:46:41.429 -No, I can't let you do that, mate. -We gotta go. +00:05:15.900 --> 00:05:17.735 +Come on! Get in! Get in! Get in! -01:46:41.541 --> 01:46:44.066 -No, I'm telling you, I'm not being crazy. -They'll listen to me. +00:05:17.819 --> 00:05:19.779 +- Come on, man. +- Go, go, go, go, go! -01:46:44.177 --> 01:46:46.668 -I know it sounds weird, -but I have a connection with them. +00:05:23.241 --> 00:05:24.617 +All units be advised. -01:46:46.780 --> 01:46:49.660 -You're not doing tofu dinner theater -for these motherfuckers. Let's roll! +00:05:24.701 --> 00:05:26.160 +Possible vehicle in question. -01:46:49.682 --> 01:46:53.516 -- Get over here! -- I have a son now. Little half squat. +00:05:26.244 --> 00:05:28.246 +Late model silver Impala. -01:46:53.620 --> 01:46:55.178 -Who in crikey fuck is half squat? +00:05:56.149 --> 00:05:59.485 +1-Adam-3, South Bay at Seventh, clean -01:46:55.288 --> 01:46:57.518 -He's my son. He's my boy! +00:06:01.821 --> 00:06:03.448 +Roger; 1-A dam-3. -01:46:57.624 --> 01:47:00.058 -He needs me. I have to go back to him. +00:06:04.949 --> 00:06:07.118 +Requesting air unit support. -01:47:03.196 --> 01:47:04.857 -You tell the world what happened here. +00:06:19.964 --> 00:06:23.676 +Unit 5 to Dispatch, +heading eastbound on Sixth. -01:47:04.964 --> 01:47:06.795 -What happened here? +00:06:23.760 --> 00:06:25.678 +Copy that, Unit 5. -01:47:06.900 --> 01:47:09.130 -I don't know, but you need to tell them. +00:06:37.899 --> 00:06:39.567 +Base to Air 3. -01:47:11.504 --> 01:47:13.335 -I got this. +00:06:39.650 --> 00:06:41.402 +Any sign of that silver Impala? -01:47:13.439 --> 01:47:14.599 -Tugg! +00:06:42.236 --> 00:06:44.197 +Air 3 to Base. Negative. -01:47:15.308 --> 01:47:18.869 -You take care of the boys! -I'll deal with these guys. +00:06:51.871 --> 00:06:54.832 +Got a visual +heading west on Seventh Street bridge. -01:47:20.280 --> 01:47:23.875 -Where is he going? -We're gonna fucking die! +00:06:58.211 --> 00:07:00.838 +Copy Air 3. All units, be advised... -01:47:23.983 --> 01:47:26.611 -Laz, come on. He joined the circus. -Let's go. +00:07:25.905 --> 00:07:28.991 +Base, Air 3 here. +We've lost visual on suspect. -01:47:26.719 --> 01:47:27.913 -- You've got hands. +00:07:39.669 --> 00:07:43.089 +Base to Air 3. +Possible gang shooting in progress. + +00:07:43.214 --> 00:07:46.217 +Proceed immediately +to Washington and La Brea. + +00:07:46.634 --> 00:07:48.636 +Roger; Dispatch. I'm out. + +00:08:03.568 --> 00:08:05.653 +All westbound units, be advised. + +00:08:05.736 --> 00:08:08.990 +Suspect last seen +near Seventh Street and Santa Fe. + +00:08:36.559 --> 00:08:38.436 +Dispatch, this is 1-Adam-6. + +00:08:38.769 --> 00:08:41.772 +Possible suspect vehicle +sighted at stoplight. + +00:08:42.023 --> 00:08:43.107 +Stand by. + +00:08:44.150 --> 00:08:45.860 +Roger; Unit 6. + +00:13:02.366 --> 00:13:04.493 +- What floor? +- Fourth. Thanks. + +00:13:48.871 --> 00:13:51.540 +Hey, kid, you know what? + +00:13:56.212 --> 00:13:57.546 +Director wants to see a roll over. + +00:13:57.630 --> 00:13:59.131 +Are you okay with that? + +00:13:59.215 --> 00:14:01.383 +Remember, if you don't feel good, +just abort the shot. + +00:14:01.467 --> 00:14:03.677 +There's no shame in that, all right? + +00:14:03.761 --> 00:14:05.387 +I mean, you're... +You're doubling for the star. + +00:14:05.471 --> 00:14:08.224 +You're not like a day player or anything. + +00:14:08.307 --> 00:14:10.809 +And I got you 500 more, huh. + +00:14:10.893 --> 00:14:12.520 +Of course, we split that. + +00:14:12.603 --> 00:14:14.355 +You okay? Ready to go? + +00:14:14.438 --> 00:14:16.565 +All right. Counting on you! + +00:14:31.247 --> 00:14:32.998 +Excuse me, pal. I just need a minute here. + +00:14:33.082 --> 00:14:36.752 +Before I put you on camera, +I need you to sign this contract. + +00:14:36.835 --> 00:14:38.754 +It just basically +releases liability to the company + +00:14:38.837 --> 00:14:42.049 +in case you die, +get maimed, or seriously injured. + +00:14:42.675 --> 00:14:44.093 +And action! + +00:14:52.142 --> 00:14:54.228 +All right, that's a cut! + +00:14:54.311 --> 00:14:55.938 +Kid! That was fantastic! + +00:14:56.021 --> 00:14:57.731 +Just fantastic. + +00:14:57.815 --> 00:15:00.609 +Okay. How you doing? You all right? + +00:15:00.693 --> 00:15:02.403 +You were good. +You were good. That was perfect. + +00:15:58.751 --> 00:16:01.086 +- You're a monkey. +- No, you're the monkey. + +00:16:01.170 --> 00:16:02.338 +- You're the monkey. +- You're the monkey. + +00:16:02.421 --> 00:16:03.422 +No, you're the monkey. + +00:16:03.505 --> 00:16:05.549 +Hey, tell me one thing. + +00:16:05.633 --> 00:16:07.676 +- I love you. +- I love you. + +00:17:02.815 --> 00:17:04.441 +- Where should I put this? +- In the kitchen. + +00:17:04.566 --> 00:17:05.943 +Thank you. + +00:17:08.278 --> 00:17:09.947 +Just be a second. + +00:17:20.791 --> 00:17:21.959 +Scary. + +00:17:25.796 --> 00:17:27.798 +Hey, you want a toothpick? + +00:17:34.304 --> 00:17:36.223 +You want a glass of water? + +00:17:36.306 --> 00:17:37.391 +Okay. + +00:17:48.318 --> 00:17:49.528 +Thanks. + +00:17:53.866 --> 00:17:55.868 +So, you just moved to LA? + +00:17:57.327 --> 00:17:59.538 +No, I've been here for a while. + +00:18:00.414 --> 00:18:02.207 +You're just new here? + +00:18:08.881 --> 00:18:10.966 +That's Benicio's father. + +00:18:12.676 --> 00:18:14.303 +Where is he? + +00:18:15.304 --> 00:18:16.847 +He's in prison. + +00:18:20.100 --> 00:18:21.643 +What do you do? + +00:18:24.188 --> 00:18:25.439 +I drive. + +00:18:27.608 --> 00:18:29.359 +Like a limo driver? + +00:18:30.360 --> 00:18:31.904 +No, like, for movies. + +00:18:34.364 --> 00:18:37.576 +You mean, all the car chases and stuff? + +00:18:37.659 --> 00:18:38.827 +Yeah. + +00:18:39.703 --> 00:18:41.413 +Is that dangerous? + +00:18:51.215 --> 00:18:52.966 +It's only part-time. + +00:18:53.926 --> 00:18:56.136 +Mostly I work at a garage. + +00:18:56.220 --> 00:18:57.429 +Where? + +00:18:57.513 --> 00:18:59.139 +Reseda Boulevard. + +00:19:07.940 --> 00:19:09.316 +I gotta go. + +00:19:11.318 --> 00:19:12.402 +Okay. + +00:19:14.905 --> 00:19:16.365 +Thanks for the water. + +00:19:16.448 --> 00:19:17.950 +- Say bye. +- Bye. + +00:19:56.655 --> 00:19:58.156 +Mr. Rose, your food, sir. + +00:19:58.240 --> 00:19:59.283 +Okay. + +00:19:59.366 --> 00:20:02.494 +Chicken chow mein and some Peking duck. + +00:20:03.161 --> 00:20:04.788 +Okay. Where are the chopsticks? + +00:20:04.872 --> 00:20:07.291 +Oh, you know. The guy just... + +00:20:07.374 --> 00:20:08.750 +Go get them. Go get them. + +00:20:09.042 --> 00:20:11.837 +I don't want that. +I don't want that. You eat it. + +00:20:12.170 --> 00:20:14.381 +Chopsticks and a fortune cookie. + +00:20:14.464 --> 00:20:16.383 +Put out the fucking cigarette. I'm eating. + +00:20:17.342 --> 00:20:18.343 +Sorry. + +00:20:19.261 --> 00:20:20.262 +Whats the matter with you? + +00:20:20.345 --> 00:20:21.638 +I'm just... + +00:20:21.930 --> 00:20:24.600 +What happened to all the ashtrays +in this town? + +00:20:24.683 --> 00:20:26.476 +You run a perfectly good business. + +00:20:26.560 --> 00:20:28.437 +I don't know why you want to change now. + +00:20:28.812 --> 00:20:31.773 +You know how much +my business made last year? + +00:20:31.857 --> 00:20:33.442 +Thirty grand. + +00:20:33.525 --> 00:20:35.277 +I can build a car in six months + +00:20:35.360 --> 00:20:38.196 +and in six seconds, +these jerks write it off as a stunt + +00:20:38.280 --> 00:20:39.948 +that won't even make it into the movie. + +00:20:41.158 --> 00:20:44.411 +See, all I need is a hard used stock car. + +00:20:44.494 --> 00:20:45.704 +That's all. + +00:20:45.787 --> 00:20:49.625 +And I figure we start off with small town +circuit and we work our way up. + +00:20:49.958 --> 00:20:52.753 +And once we get to the show, +we're talking millions. + +00:20:52.836 --> 00:20:54.129 +- I have the chopsticks, sir. - Yeah. -01:47:28.021 --> 01:47:30.148 -- Fuck! You've got hands? -- Come on! +00:20:54.212 --> 00:20:55.505 +Where's the cookies? -01:47:31.224 --> 01:47:32.350 -- Come on! -- Get in! +00:20:55.589 --> 00:20:58.383 +- You know, I... +- Forget it. Forget it. -01:47:32.458 --> 01:47:34.085 -- Come on! -- He's staying? +00:20:59.343 --> 00:21:01.720 +So, you still haven't given me a number. -01:47:34.194 --> 01:47:36.458 -Go! He's a lost cause, mate! -Get out of here! +00:21:01.803 --> 00:21:03.138 +All right. -01:47:41.034 --> 01:47:45.528 -I was wrong! Blow the bridge! -Blow the fucking bridge! +00:21:03.555 --> 00:21:05.515 +$430,000. -01:47:51.377 --> 01:47:52.776 -I got this. +00:21:07.225 --> 00:21:08.894 +Mr. Rose, I wouldn't come to you with this -01:47:53.446 --> 01:47:54.879 -Leaf, no! +00:21:08.977 --> 00:21:11.605 +unless I was absolutely sure about it. -01:48:39.025 --> 01:48:41.653 -It's over! He's gone! +00:21:11.688 --> 00:21:13.649 +How can you be sure, Shannon? -01:48:41.761 --> 01:48:43.820 -Cody! We gotta go! +00:21:13.732 --> 00:21:16.944 +What do you got +that the big professional race teams don't? -01:48:45.832 --> 01:48:47.026 -Look. +00:21:19.112 --> 00:21:20.405 +I got the driver. -01:49:09.656 --> 01:49:10.987 -Think he's done. +00:21:20.781 --> 00:21:23.116 +You just told me they had +half a dozen drivers. -01:49:11.090 --> 01:49:12.318 -Cover me! +00:21:23.200 --> 00:21:24.576 +Not like this one. -01:49:13.393 --> 01:49:16.328 -- Come on! -- Wait, come back! +00:21:25.077 --> 00:21:26.912 +This kid is special. -01:49:16.429 --> 01:49:18.158 -How do we cover him? +00:21:26.995 --> 00:21:28.288 +I've been working with him for a while. -01:49:22.402 --> 01:49:25.803 -All right, game over. Come on, mate. -Come on. +00:21:28.372 --> 00:21:30.499 +I've never seen anything like it. -01:49:25.905 --> 01:49:28.499 -- You all right, man? -- I'm cold. +00:21:30.916 --> 00:21:32.459 +If I had the money, I'd back him myself. -01:49:28.608 --> 01:49:30.599 -I can't feel my legs. +00:21:32.876 --> 00:21:35.003 +Yeah, but you don't have the money. -01:49:30.710 --> 01:49:33.645 -No, no, they're in a puddle, mate. See? -There's a puddle right there. +00:21:36.046 --> 00:21:39.383 +Mr. Rose, you put this +kid behind the wheel, -01:49:33.746 --> 01:49:34.940 -- No worries. +00:21:40.133 --> 00:21:41.927 +there's nothing he can't do. + +00:21:42.594 --> 00:21:45.097 +There's money here. You can't lose. + +00:21:45.889 --> 00:21:48.058 +Fuck you eating chink food +in my fucking restaurant? + +00:21:48.225 --> 00:21:50.769 +What's a Jew doing running a pizzeria? + +00:21:51.436 --> 00:21:53.230 +You remember Shannon. + +00:21:56.566 --> 00:21:59.611 +Take a fucking hike. +I want to talk to my partner. + +00:22:02.239 --> 00:22:04.282 +I'm just fucking with you. + +00:22:04.908 --> 00:22:07.327 +How you doing, Shannon? +How's the fucking leg? + +00:22:08.036 --> 00:22:09.579 +I paid my debt. + +00:22:11.248 --> 00:22:14.501 +I'll think about it. Okay? + +00:22:14.584 --> 00:22:16.378 +But I want to meet the kid first. + +00:22:17.004 --> 00:22:18.630 +That's all I ask. + +00:22:30.809 --> 00:22:33.437 +Come on, I want you to meet somebody. + +00:22:33.520 --> 00:22:35.522 +And whatever you do like about the car, +don't say anything. + +00:22:35.605 --> 00:22:37.899 +I want to drive the price +down a little bit. + +00:22:37.983 --> 00:22:40.736 +Kid, I want you to meet Mr. Bernie Rose. + +00:22:41.403 --> 00:22:43.280 +Nice to meet YOU. + +00:22:48.326 --> 00:22:50.495 +My hands are a little dirty. + +00:22:51.288 --> 00:22:52.706 +So are mine. + +00:22:57.085 --> 00:22:58.962 +Good driving out there. + +00:22:59.963 --> 00:23:01.173 +Thanks. + +00:23:03.633 --> 00:23:05.010 +He's a good kid. + +00:23:05.093 --> 00:23:07.637 +So, what do you think? Do we get the 400? + +00:23:09.014 --> 00:23:11.641 +I'll give you 300 for 70%. + +00:23:14.644 --> 00:23:15.729 +Done. + +00:23:17.856 --> 00:23:19.274 +Right. Good. + +00:23:20.692 --> 00:23:22.944 +You won't be sorry. + +00:23:28.408 --> 00:23:29.951 +- I'm Shannon. +- Hi. Irene. + +00:23:30.035 --> 00:23:31.578 +Irene. How can I help you? + +00:23:31.870 --> 00:23:33.080 +It just broke down. + +00:23:33.163 --> 00:23:34.790 +Just broke down. Just like that. + +00:23:34.873 --> 00:23:36.208 +- You want me to take a look at it? +- Yes, please. + +00:23:36.291 --> 00:23:37.876 +All right. + +00:23:37.959 --> 00:23:39.920 +We got all our bays full. + +00:23:40.003 --> 00:23:42.672 +Hey, pal, just drop it down here. +We'll push it in, all right? + +00:23:42.923 --> 00:23:45.801 +We want to push her into number three. + +00:23:45.884 --> 00:23:48.428 +- The car, not you. - Good. -01:49:35.048 --> 01:49:36.345 -Come on, we gotta split, man. +00:23:48.512 --> 00:23:50.055 +- Hi. +- Hi. -01:49:36.449 --> 01:49:38.747 -- You guys came back for me. -- Course. +00:23:51.765 --> 00:23:53.141 +You two know each other? -01:49:38.851 --> 01:49:41.183 -Hey! I want you to know something. +00:23:53.225 --> 00:23:55.060 +Don't. -01:49:41.287 --> 01:49:42.481 +00:23:55.143 --> 00:23:56.770 +- Look at that. +- We're neighbors. + +00:23:56.853 --> 00:23:59.856 +Neighbors? Very good. +Well, we'll try to be neighborly too. + +00:24:21.044 --> 00:24:22.295 +You blinked. + +00:24:22.796 --> 00:24:23.880 What? -01:49:43.656 --> 01:49:45.453 -I know who you are. +00:24:24.840 --> 00:24:27.551 +- Can I call a cab from here? +- Yeah. Sure. -01:49:47.560 --> 01:49:49.323 -You're my friend. +00:24:28.552 --> 00:24:29.803 +What am I talking about? -01:49:51.597 --> 01:49:53.224 -You're my brother. +00:24:30.971 --> 00:24:32.806 +You and the kid are neighbors, right? -01:49:54.100 --> 01:49:56.933 -But like a really cool brother, you know? +00:24:32.889 --> 00:24:34.599 +- He can take you home. +- No. -01:49:57.036 --> 01:49:58.401 -Like a brother -where there was no animosity or... +00:24:34.683 --> 00:24:37.477 +- I'd feel bad. +- No, no. Don't even think twice about it. -01:49:58.504 --> 01:50:01.337 -Don't look now, -you got some real tears going. +00:24:37.561 --> 00:24:40.772 +He'd be happy to do it. He's a good guy. -01:50:01.441 --> 01:50:02.441 -Really? +00:24:41.982 --> 00:24:45.193 +You know, he walked into my shop here +about five or six years ago. -01:50:02.542 --> 01:50:04.032 -That's the stuff -that accolades are made of. +00:24:46.069 --> 00:24:47.237 +Right out of the blue. -01:50:04.143 --> 01:50:05.610 -Jesus, let's go, man! +00:24:47.320 --> 00:24:49.156 +Asking for a job. -01:50:05.712 --> 01:50:07.813 -All right? +00:24:49.239 --> 00:24:52.659 +So I put him to the test +to see what he could do. -01:50:08.748 --> 01:50:10.181 -Upsy-Daisy. - -01:50:11.951 --> 01:50:14.943 -Come on! Come on! Come on! -Let's go! Let's go! - -01:50:17.090 --> 01:50:18.387 -Get in! Get in! - -01:50:18.491 --> 01:50:20.516 -Come on! Here we go! - -01:50:23.062 --> 01:50:25.860 -Tuggernuts! I got it! - -01:50:28.234 --> 01:50:30.532 -- Tugger! -- Rick! - -01:50:33.139 --> 01:50:34.367 -What the fuck? - -01:50:34.474 --> 01:50:36.101 -I got the TiVo! - -01:50:37.010 --> 01:50:41.413 -My friend wants a TiVo, -my friend gets a TiVo! - -01:50:46.586 --> 01:50:47.848 -Oh, shit! - -01:51:24.690 --> 01:51:26.715 -And the Oscar goes to... - -01:51:29.462 --> 01:51:31.760 -Yes! Tugg speedman. - -01:51:33.399 --> 01:51:36.095 -"Tropic blunder, -the true story behind the making - -01:51:36.202 --> 01:51:38.727 -"of the most expensive -fake true war story ever." - -01:51:40.306 --> 01:51:41.432 -Yeah! - -01:51:46.145 --> 01:51:48.045 -Yeah, you son of a bitch! - -01:52:07.366 --> 01:52:11.735 -Eight oscars, $400 million - -01:52:11.838 --> 01:52:15.069 -and you saved -tugg speedman's career. - -01:52:15.174 --> 01:52:18.041 -I couldn't have done it -without you, slolom. - -01:52:20.079 --> 01:52:21.171 -Really? - -01:52:21.280 --> 01:52:23.271 -No, dickhead, of course I could. - -01:52:23.382 --> 01:52:26.044 -- A nutless monkey could do your job. -- Well, I... - -01:52:26.152 --> 01:52:29.053 -Now, go get drunk -and take credit at all the parties. - -01:52:29.155 --> 01:52:31.851 -- I would never do that to... -- Joking. - -01:52:31.958 --> 01:52:33.323 -- Yeah? +00:24:52.742 --> 00:24:54.035 +- The kid's amazing. - Yeah. -01:52:33.426 --> 01:52:35.621 -Very... okay, there he is. +00:24:54.494 --> 00:24:56.288 +So, I hire him on the spot. -01:52:35.728 --> 01:52:37.218 -- There he is. Okay. -- Go have fun. +00:24:57.914 --> 00:25:00.167 +At about half the wages I normally pay. -01:52:37.330 --> 01:52:38.854 -All right. We're having a... +00:25:00.250 --> 00:25:01.459 +He didn't blink an eye. -01:52:38.965 --> 01:52:41.445 -Fuck, okay. Thank you, les. -Thank you. You have a good night... +00:25:02.294 --> 00:25:05.630 +Hey, kid, +come over here for a second, will you? -01:52:41.467 --> 01:52:43.867 -But seriously, -a nutless monkey could do your job. +00:25:05.714 --> 00:25:08.967 +And I have been exploiting him ever since. + +00:25:10.886 --> 00:25:12.345 +Don't tell him. + +00:25:12.929 --> 00:25:15.932 +Looks like we have +a bigger problem than I thought. + +00:25:16.016 --> 00:25:19.269 +And we're going to have +to keep the car here for a few days. + +00:25:19.352 --> 00:25:23.231 +So I offered your services +to take Benicio and Irene home. + +00:25:23.315 --> 00:25:24.774 +That be okay? + +00:25:27.611 --> 00:25:28.945 +- Yeah, sure. +- Yeah. + +00:25:31.781 --> 00:25:34.784 +I don't have wheels on my car. + +00:25:35.035 --> 00:25:36.203 +Okay. + +00:25:36.286 --> 00:25:38.205 +It's one thing you should know about me. + +00:25:38.288 --> 00:25:39.289 +Well, put the tires on. + +00:25:39.372 --> 00:25:41.625 +- You got five minutes? +- Yeah. + +00:26:04.606 --> 00:26:06.066 +Hey, do you want to see something? + +00:26:09.653 --> 00:26:10.779 +Yeah. + +00:26:14.282 --> 00:26:15.367 +Okay. + +00:28:11.191 --> 00:28:13.443 +That was good. + +00:28:13.526 --> 00:28:15.278 +He had a good time. + +00:28:23.787 --> 00:28:24.996 +Me 1200. + +00:28:32.087 --> 00:28:35.006 +Sorry if I put you +on the spot showing up like that. + +00:28:35.090 --> 00:28:36.424 +It's okay. + +00:29:00.281 --> 00:29:02.826 +I'm not doing anything this weekend. + +00:29:07.122 --> 00:29:09.457 +If you want a ride or something. + +00:30:43.927 --> 00:30:46.638 +Don't worry about her bumps and bruises, +that's just fiberglass. + +00:30:46.721 --> 00:30:48.097 +That's easily replaceable. + +00:30:48.640 --> 00:30:51.351 +Put a coat of paint on there, +some sponsor decals. + +00:30:51.434 --> 00:30:53.686 +Look at the tread +on the tire's still good, huh? + +00:30:53.770 --> 00:30:55.355 +We're in business. + +00:30:56.022 --> 00:30:58.858 +We paid 300 fucking grand +for this piece of shit? + +00:30:58.942 --> 00:31:02.028 +I paid for it. Out of my own pocket. + +00:31:02.111 --> 00:31:03.655 +This is just the shell. + +00:31:03.905 --> 00:31:06.115 +It's the inside that +counts, not the outside. + +00:31:06.199 --> 00:31:07.742 +- Right, Shannon? +- You are correct, sir. + +00:31:07.825 --> 00:31:11.204 +Fuck that shit. I pay 300 for something, +I want everybody to fucking see it. + +00:31:11.287 --> 00:31:13.748 +Of course you do. + +00:31:13.831 --> 00:31:15.208 +Now, this. + +00:31:15.375 --> 00:31:19.671 +That is one motherfucking +fine-ass pussy mobile, motherfucker. + +00:31:20.129 --> 00:31:21.214 +Damn! + +00:31:21.881 --> 00:31:23.675 +Shannon, sell him the car. + +00:31:24.300 --> 00:31:27.554 +He wouldn't be able +to find pussy in a whorehouse. + +00:31:27.637 --> 00:31:31.474 +You Know what? +This oar will even make you good looking. + +00:31:31.641 --> 00:31:32.934 +I'm already good looking, pal. + +00:31:33.017 --> 00:31:34.227 +How's it going? + +00:31:37.647 --> 00:31:39.524 +When's our first race? + +00:31:41.276 --> 00:31:42.860 +Pretty soon. + +00:31:43.903 --> 00:31:45.530 +You gonna be ready? + +00:31:47.282 --> 00:31:48.616 +I hope so. + +00:31:48.700 --> 00:31:50.952 +"I hope so." + +00:31:51.035 --> 00:31:54.330 +Hey, no false modesty. +I got a lot of money in this. + +00:31:56.082 --> 00:31:58.459 +Did Shannon ever tell you now we met? + +00:32:00.086 --> 00:32:01.170 +No. + +00:32:01.254 --> 00:32:03.006 +I used to produce movies. + +00:32:03.089 --> 00:32:04.507 +In the '8Os. + +00:32:04.591 --> 00:32:07.760 +Kind of like action films. Sexy stuff. + +00:32:07.844 --> 00:32:09.929 +One critic called them European. + +00:32:10.013 --> 00:32:12.140 +I thought they were shit. + +00:32:12.223 --> 00:32:15.977 +Anyway, he arranged all the cars for me. +Did all the stunts. + +00:32:16.060 --> 00:32:18.021 +I liked him. I liked having him around. + +00:32:18.146 --> 00:32:20.523 +Even though +he overcharged the shit out of me. + +00:32:22.108 --> 00:32:23.985 +His next business venture, + +00:32:24.068 --> 00:32:26.613 +he got involved with +some of Nine's friends. + +00:32:26.696 --> 00:32:29.073 +They didn't go for the overcharging bit. + +00:32:29.157 --> 00:32:31.367 +They broke his pelvis. + +00:32:31.451 --> 00:32:33.453 +He's never had a lot of luck. + +00:32:35.580 --> 00:32:36.706 +The reason I'm telling you this + +00:32:36.789 --> 00:32:39.500 +is that he has a lot invested in you. + +00:32:39.584 --> 00:32:41.794 +And so do I. + +00:32:41.878 --> 00:32:44.339 +So anything you need, you call me. + +00:32:45.173 --> 00:32:46.883 +We're a team now. + +00:32:49.385 --> 00:32:50.928 +I'm excited. + +00:32:51.012 --> 00:32:53.723 +Nino, let's get the fuck out of here. + +00:33:09.572 --> 00:33:11.741 +- Is he a bad guy? +- Yeah. + +00:33:12.617 --> 00:33:14.786 +How can you tell? + +00:33:14.869 --> 00:33:17.872 +Because he's a shark. + +00:33:18.915 --> 00:33:20.291 +There's no good sharks? + +00:33:20.375 --> 00:33:23.294 +No. I mean, just look at him. + +00:33:24.504 --> 00:33:27.048 +Does he look like a good guy to you? + +00:33:28.424 --> 00:33:29.592 +- Hi. +- How are you? + +00:33:29.717 --> 00:33:31.719 +- Good. How are you? +- Good. + +00:33:36.391 --> 00:33:37.892 +This is Cindy. + +00:33:39.602 --> 00:33:40.687 +Hi. + +00:34:19.475 --> 00:34:21.686 +That was my husband's lawyer. + +00:34:22.645 --> 00:34:24.731 +He's coming home in a week. + +00:35:48.272 --> 00:35:54.111 +We're here celebrating, +but it's a shameful thing what I did. + +00:35:56.280 --> 00:36:00.076 +And I have a lot of making up to do +to everyone. + +00:36:06.082 --> 00:36:08.876 +But second chances are rare. + +00:36:08.960 --> 00:36:10.127 +Right? + +00:36:11.295 --> 00:36:13.840 +And that's worth celebrating. Right? + +00:36:16.008 --> 00:36:20.346 +So I want to make a toast +to that lady right there. + +00:36:21.764 --> 00:36:23.516 +Thanks for staying. + +00:36:23.975 --> 00:36:25.643 +CD:3 +?5. + +00:37:41.594 --> 00:37:42.678 +Hey. + +00:37:44.639 --> 00:37:45.681 +Hi. + +00:37:53.648 --> 00:37:55.524 +Sorry about the noise. + +00:37:59.195 --> 00:38:01.405 +I was going to call the cops. + +00:38:03.699 --> 00:38:05.368 +I wish you would. + +00:38:08.913 --> 00:38:09.914 +You're getting heavier. + +00:38:12.083 --> 00:38:13.417 +- Hey. +- Hey. + +00:38:15.878 --> 00:38:17.213 +Hey. + +00:38:19.382 --> 00:38:20.883 +How you doing? + +00:38:21.258 --> 00:38:24.470 +- Hi. +- This guy's been telling me a lot about you. + +00:38:25.388 --> 00:38:28.432 +Says you been coming around, +helping out a lot. + +00:38:29.141 --> 00:38:31.811 +Yeah? Helping out? Is that right? + +00:38:33.354 --> 00:38:34.855 +Is that right? + +00:38:38.067 --> 00:38:41.070 +That's very nice. +That's nice of you. Thank you. + +00:38:41.153 --> 00:38:42.697 +You're welcome. + +00:38:46.075 --> 00:38:48.035 +You drive for the movies? + +00:38:49.078 --> 00:38:50.204 +Yeah. + +00:38:51.789 --> 00:38:54.500 +- I can take that. +- No, no, no. I got it. + +00:38:57.920 --> 00:38:59.672 +Let Mommy talk to her friend. + +00:39:01.215 --> 00:39:02.425 +Come on. + +00:39:21.318 --> 00:39:22.820 +Have a good night. + +00:40:00.316 --> 00:40:02.526 +You're Shannon's buddy, right? + +00:40:04.653 --> 00:40:06.322 +We met last year. + +00:40:07.823 --> 00:40:11.118 +You drove me +and my brother back from Palm Springs. + +00:40:14.497 --> 00:40:16.540 +We hired another wheelman. + +00:40:16.624 --> 00:40:20.461 +I spent six months in jail. +My brother, he got himself Killed. + +00:40:24.882 --> 00:40:26.008 +I got this sweet job coming up. + +00:40:26.092 --> 00:40:27.927 +How about this? + +00:40:28.010 --> 00:40:29.762 +You shut your mouth. + +00:40:29.845 --> 00:40:33.933 +Or I'll kick your teeth down your throat +and I'll shut it for you. + +00:40:41.023 --> 00:40:42.900 +Nice seeing you again. + +00:41:59.435 --> 00:42:01.645 +Come on, it's okay. + +00:42:01.729 --> 00:42:05.608 +Come here. Don't be scared. + +00:42:09.403 --> 00:42:11.280 +Don't tell Mommy, okay? + +00:42:13.616 --> 00:42:16.243 +Okay? It's a secret between the boys. + +00:42:18.662 --> 00:42:19.914 +Fuck me. + +00:43:19.890 --> 00:43:21.392 +Who were they? + +00:43:22.810 --> 00:43:25.896 +What the fuck are you going to do? +You're gonna go beat them up for me? + +00:43:26.188 --> 00:43:27.731 +Huh, stunt guy? + +00:43:28.691 --> 00:43:31.694 +Why the fuck do you want to know +who they are? + +00:43:43.580 --> 00:43:45.666 +There are some guys +that want me to do a job for them + +00:43:45.749 --> 00:43:47.835 +and I'm not going to do it. + +00:43:48.877 --> 00:43:50.629 +That's who they are. + +00:43:51.839 --> 00:43:53.382 +What's the job? + +00:43:54.717 --> 00:43:57.636 +They want me +to rob a pawnshop in the Valley. + +00:43:59.346 --> 00:44:00.764 +Why? + +00:44:00.848 --> 00:44:03.892 +'Cause I owe them some protection money +from when I was inside. + +00:44:03.976 --> 00:44:05.602 +It's 2,000 bucks. + +00:44:06.520 --> 00:44:09.398 +But as soon as I got out, it's 5,000 bucks. + +00:44:09.481 --> 00:44:12.276 +No, actually, it's $10,000. $20,000. + +00:44:12.359 --> 00:44:15.738 +Tomorrow I don't know +what the fuck it's going to be. + +00:44:17.740 --> 00:44:19.950 +What are you going to do? + +00:44:20.034 --> 00:44:22.077 +That's a really good question. + +00:44:24.997 --> 00:44:28.917 +They said they were going +to come after Benicio and Irene next. + +00:44:50.606 --> 00:44:51.857 +You okay? + +00:44:53.650 --> 00:44:55.778 +You want something to drink? + +00:44:59.406 --> 00:45:01.408 +What is it you got there? + +00:45:03.911 --> 00:45:05.245 +Can I see? + +00:45:18.675 --> 00:45:20.969 +One of those men gave you that? + +00:45:22.805 --> 00:45:24.973 +They told me not to lose it. + +00:45:29.520 --> 00:45:31.897 +You want me to keep that for you? + +00:45:31.980 --> 00:45:33.107 +Okay. + +00:45:58.382 --> 00:45:59.842 +How's Benice? + +00:46:00.759 --> 00:46:01.844 +Good. + +00:46:05.514 --> 00:46:07.015 +You just saying that? + +00:46:07.099 --> 00:46:08.308 +No. + +00:46:11.270 --> 00:46:12.896 +What do you mean? + +00:46:15.649 --> 00:46:19.987 +I saw that Standard was in an accident. + +00:46:21.113 --> 00:46:22.197 +Yeah. + +00:46:25.868 --> 00:46:27.369 +What happened? + +00:46:31.373 --> 00:46:32.875 +He got beat up. + +00:46:37.087 --> 00:46:38.172 +Why? + +00:46:39.715 --> 00:46:41.300 +Just drunk kids. + +00:46:53.562 --> 00:46:55.397 +You should come over. + +00:46:58.066 --> 00:47:00.194 +You should come and see him. + +00:47:06.992 --> 00:47:09.703 +You want to... You want to hear a story? + +00:47:09.786 --> 00:47:11.497 +Do you want to hear +how Mommy and me met? + +00:47:11.580 --> 00:47:14.333 +- Yeah. +- Yeah? Okay. + +00:47:16.251 --> 00:47:20.130 +We were at a party. +And she was 19 years old. + +00:47:20.214 --> 00:47:21.340 +Seventeen. + +00:47:21.423 --> 00:47:22.674 +- You weren't 17. +- I was. + +00:47:23.258 --> 00:47:25.135 +- Wow. So it was illegal? +- Yeah. + +00:47:27.679 --> 00:47:32.851 +All right. So I illegally walked +over to a 17-year-old girl. + +00:47:33.268 --> 00:47:36.271 +And I walk up and I say, “Hello, Miss. + +00:47:37.439 --> 00:47:39.650 +"What is your name?" + +00:47:39.733 --> 00:47:42.361 +And she didn't say anything. +And then I said... + +00:47:42.444 --> 00:47:44.947 +“Well, my name is Standard Gabriel.” + +00:47:46.114 --> 00:47:47.282 +Then what did you say? + +00:47:52.788 --> 00:47:54.456 +I said... + +00:47:55.499 --> 00:47:57.751 +"Where is the deluxe version?" + +00:48:03.215 --> 00:48:05.092 +She's good, man. + +00:48:05.676 --> 00:48:07.511 +Sharp. + +00:48:07.594 --> 00:48:09.805 +Man. It killed me. + +00:48:13.433 --> 00:48:15.769 +And then a year later, you popped out, man. + +00:48:21.984 --> 00:48:24.278 +It was the best day of my life. + +00:49:08.864 --> 00:49:10.907 +If I drive for you, you get your money. + +00:49:10.991 --> 00:49:13.118 +You tell me where we start, +where we're going, + +00:49:13.201 --> 00:49:14.494 +where we're going afterwards. + +00:49:14.578 --> 00:49:17.331 +I give you five minutes when we get there. + +00:49:17.414 --> 00:49:19.583 +Anything happens in that five minutes, +and I'm yours. + +00:49:19.666 --> 00:49:20.959 +No matter what. + +00:49:21.043 --> 00:49:24.171 +Anything a minute on either side of that +and you're on your own. + +00:49:24.254 --> 00:49:26.423 +I don't sit in while +you're running it down. + +00:49:26.548 --> 00:49:28.300 +I don't carry a gun. + +00:49:28.383 --> 00:49:29.635 +I drive. + +00:49:30.636 --> 00:49:32.554 +You look like you're hard to work with. + +00:49:33.722 --> 00:49:36.099 +Not if we understand each other. + +00:49:36.725 --> 00:49:38.018 +What's to understand? + +00:49:38.685 --> 00:49:40.270 +I can't do this thing alone. + +00:49:40.395 --> 00:49:42.981 +- You got Blanche. +- Come on, man. + +00:49:45.108 --> 00:49:47.319 +She's beautiful. Look at her. + +00:49:49.363 --> 00:49:52.240 +What the fuck you rolling your eyes at for? + +00:49:53.950 --> 00:49:55.243 +You know what, get the fuck out of here. + +00:49:55.327 --> 00:49:59.414 +Get up! Standard, take her +with you and go get her a fucking Coke! + +00:50:06.088 --> 00:50:08.090 +Okay, here's the deal. + +00:50:09.675 --> 00:50:11.593 +This much for Blanche, + +00:50:13.095 --> 00:50:16.098 +this much for that asshole, +minus what he owes me, + +00:50:17.599 --> 00:50:19.935 +and this much for you. + +00:50:23.772 --> 00:50:25.565 +You still interested? + +00:50:27.818 --> 00:50:30.112 +Good. Anything else? + +00:50:31.446 --> 00:50:34.241 +When you get your money, his debt's paid. + +00:50:35.283 --> 00:50:36.910 +He's out for good. + +00:50:36.993 --> 00:50:39.705 +And you never go near his family again. + +00:50:40.372 --> 00:50:41.915 +You understand? + +00:50:46.461 --> 00:50:47.796 +I'm here with my family. + +00:50:48.797 --> 00:50:50.006 +And my new friend. + +00:50:51.174 --> 00:50:52.384 +And... + +00:50:53.635 --> 00:50:55.429 +Toast to the future. + +00:50:57.806 --> 00:50:59.307 +To our future. + +00:51:19.119 --> 00:51:20.162 +Hey. + +00:51:23.915 --> 00:51:26.126 +I'll see you in five minutes. + +00:51:32.007 --> 00:51:33.383 +I'll see you in four. + +00:54:01.448 --> 00:54:02.574 +Oh, my... + +00:54:38.318 --> 00:54:39.402 +Shit! + +00:54:41.404 --> 00:54:42.447 +Oh, my God! + +00:56:12.620 --> 00:56:15.457 +How much did Cook say +we were going to get? + +00:56:18.626 --> 00:56:20.003 +Forty grand. + +00:56:28.595 --> 00:56:29.929 +Stay here. + +00:56:49.365 --> 00:56:52.285 +When was +the last time you saw your husband? + +00:56:55.163 --> 00:56:57.290 +Can you answer the question? + +00:56:59.292 --> 00:57:00.460 +Ma'am. + +00:57:06.925 --> 00:57:08.051 +Hello? + +00:57:08.134 --> 00:57:10.136 +Benicio? Is that you? + +00:57:10.220 --> 00:57:11.471 +Yeah. + +00:57:11.554 --> 00:57:14.432 +I Hey. +- Hi. + +00:57:14.516 --> 00:57:16.518 +Is your mother there? + +00:57:16.601 --> 00:57:20.688 +She's sitting down talking to the police. + +00:57:21.856 --> 00:57:24.818 +Okay, just tell her +I'm going to call her back, okay? + +00:57:24.901 --> 00:57:26.361 +Okay, bye. + +00:57:29.614 --> 00:57:32.659 +In related news, +an attempted robbery turned tragic today + +00:57:32.742 --> 00:57:35.995 +when the owner of a local pawnshop +opened fire on an intruder. + +00:57:36.246 --> 00:57:38.623 +The armed robber +was pronounced dead at the scene. + +00:57:38.706 --> 00:57:42.961 +He has been identified as Standard Gabriel +of Echo Park, Los Angeles. + +00:57:43.044 --> 00:57:45.547 +Other details are unclean +but the owner of the pawnshop + +00:57:45.630 --> 00:57:48.216 +told reporters that Gabriel acted alone + +00:57:48.299 --> 00:57:50.093 +and that no money had been stolen. + +00:57:50.969 --> 00:57:54.639 +In other news, +four high school athletes were arrested... + +00:58:14.075 --> 00:58:16.744 +If he saw you take the money + +00:58:17.162 --> 00:58:19.414 +and he saw you get in the car, + +00:58:21.499 --> 00:58:23.501 +then why didn't he say anything? + +00:58:25.461 --> 00:58:27.005 +I have no idea. + +00:58:38.558 --> 00:58:41.561 +Did you have any idea +there'd be a second car? + +00:58:46.441 --> 00:58:48.651 +I already told you everything. + +00:58:54.282 --> 00:58:57.869 +Now, you just got a little +boy's father killed. + +00:58:57.952 --> 00:59:00.622 +And you almost got us killed. + +00:59:00.705 --> 00:59:02.373 +And now you're lying to me. + +00:59:03.416 --> 00:59:05.710 +So, how about this? + +00:59:05.793 --> 00:59:10.256 +From now on, +every word out of your mouth is the truth. + +00:59:12.258 --> 00:59:14.260 +Or I'm going to hurt you. + +00:59:15.595 --> 00:59:17.263 +Do you understand? + +00:59:18.473 --> 00:59:20.600 +Now what did Cook tell you? + +00:59:21.768 --> 00:59:24.562 +He said there'd be another +car to hold us up, + +00:59:24.646 --> 00:59:26.564 +but he didn't say anything +about all this money. + +00:59:26.648 --> 00:59:29.901 +He didn't say anything +about anyone getting killed. + +00:59:30.985 --> 00:59:33.029 +You were going to rip us off? + +00:59:39.535 --> 00:59:41.329 +What's his real name? + +00:59:41.955 --> 00:59:44.374 +He says it's Chris, but +I just call him Cook. + +00:59:49.254 --> 00:59:52.715 +You're going to take me to him right now. + +00:59:54.801 --> 00:59:56.469 +Do you understand? + +00:59:56.719 --> 00:59:58.096 +Yes. + +01:02:54.522 --> 01:02:55.857 +Easy. Easy. + +01:03:10.371 --> 01:03:12.623 +What did you do with the cash? + +01:03:15.042 --> 01:03:16.335 +'Cause I could keep it safe for you... + +01:03:16.419 --> 01:03:18.296 +Will you just stop it? + +01:03:24.510 --> 01:03:27.221 +This guy Cook, does he have a real name? + +01:03:28.389 --> 01:03:29.557 +Chris. + +01:03:31.434 --> 01:03:32.602 +Maybe. + +01:03:34.937 --> 01:03:37.690 +I'll ask Bernie. See if he knows him. + +01:03:39.984 --> 01:03:41.486 +Jesus, I can't.. + +01:03:41.569 --> 01:03:44.280 +I can't stop thinking +about what we could do with all that dough. + +01:03:44.363 --> 01:03:46.532 +- Will you just stop? +- All right. + +01:03:46.616 --> 01:03:48.701 +A lot of guys mess around +with married women, + +01:03:48.784 --> 01:03:50.870 +but you're the only one I know +who robs a joint + +01:03:50.953 --> 01:03:53.289 +just to pay back the husband. + +01:03:53.372 --> 01:03:55.124 +Crazy. + +01:03:55.208 --> 01:03:58.085 +Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it. + +01:04:29.867 --> 01:04:31.160 +Where's Cook? + +01:04:31.285 --> 01:04:33.746 +He's in the dressing room. + +01:04:33.829 --> 01:04:35.998 +Where's that? + +01:04:36.082 --> 01:04:37.667 +It's over there. + +01:05:07.488 --> 01:05:09.365 +Whose money do I have? + +01:05:10.658 --> 01:05:12.868 +Don't worry. They're going to come get it. + +01:05:13.202 --> 01:05:14.745 +No! No! + +01:05:15.538 --> 01:05:16.956 +Call them. + +01:05:17.039 --> 01:05:18.791 +Somebody call Nino! + +01:05:30.261 --> 01:05:32.054 +Do you remember this? + +01:05:55.911 --> 01:05:57.079 +Hello. + +01:05:58.331 --> 01:05:59.457 +Nino? + +01:05:59.540 --> 01:06:01.751 +No, sorry, pal. +Why don't you call back later? + +01:06:01.834 --> 01:06:03.210 +We 're closed. + +01:06:03.294 --> 01:06:07.214 +I could, but I think Nino would be upset +that you made him wait. + +01:06:07.298 --> 01:06:10.009 +Can I ask what this is about? + +01:06:10.092 --> 01:06:12.053 +I have something of his. + +01:06:12.887 --> 01:06:14.180 +And that would be? + +01:06:15.431 --> 01:06:17.099 +A million dollars. + +01:06:18.351 --> 01:06:19.727 +Please hold. + +01:06:27.109 --> 01:06:29.487 +You got something +that fucking belongs to me? + +01:06:34.825 --> 01:06:36.827 +It seems that way. + +01:06:38.954 --> 01:06:40.831 +And you're calling me? + +01:06:42.083 --> 01:06:43.125 +Why? + +01:06:44.460 --> 01:06:47.129 +You expect me +to buy my own shit back from you? + +01:06:47.213 --> 01:06:49.131 +I'm not selling it. + +01:06:49.423 --> 01:06:53.302 +I'm going to give you a time and a place +and you're going to come and get it. + +01:06:53.386 --> 01:06:55.054 +Do you understand? + +01:06:56.430 --> 01:06:59.433 +And what do you get out of it? + +01:06:59.517 --> 01:07:00.851 +Just that. + +01:07:01.769 --> 01:07:03.104 +Out of it. + +01:07:04.230 --> 01:07:06.857 +And your partners are happy with that? + +01:07:08.275 --> 01:07:10.236 +I don't have any partners. + +01:07:11.112 --> 01:07:14.782 +You discuss this with anybody else? + +01:07:16.283 --> 01:07:17.785 +No, just you. + +01:07:19.328 --> 01:07:21.956 +You're not very good at this, are you? + +01:07:33.467 --> 01:07:36.053 +Go check out who this fucking guy is. + +01:08:14.759 --> 01:08:17.762 +Can I talk to you for a minute? + +01:08:17.845 --> 01:08:19.847 +Can't talk. I have to go. + +01:08:23.058 --> 01:08:25.436 +Can I just walk with you for a... + +01:08:25.519 --> 01:08:26.812 +Yeah. + +01:08:46.540 --> 01:08:48.709 +I have to tell you something. + +01:08:54.673 --> 01:09:00.721 +Standard was into some guys in prison +for a lot of money. + +01:09:03.682 --> 01:09:07.645 +And they were going to hurt you +and Benicio if he didn't pay it. + +01:09:10.231 --> 01:09:12.483 +He asked me for my help. + +01:09:15.653 --> 01:09:17.530 +Everything went wrong. + +01:09:21.450 --> 01:09:22.785 +I'm sorry. + +01:09:28.123 --> 01:09:30.000 +I still got the money. + +01:09:33.921 --> 01:09:36.298 +You can have it if you wanted to. + +01:09:38.759 --> 01:09:40.678 +You can take Benicio... + +01:09:52.314 --> 01:09:55.776 +I just thought you could get out of here +if you wanted. + +01:09:58.445 --> 01:10:00.322 +I could come with you. + +01:10:04.368 --> 01:10:06.370 +I could look out for you. + +01:10:11.375 --> 01:10:14.211 +Sorry. Wrong floor. + +01:13:37.873 --> 01:13:40.375 +They came to my apartment, Shannon. + +01:13:41.502 --> 01:13:43.045 +How'd they know where I live? + +01:13:45.339 --> 01:13:46.924 +I told you. I was going to call Bernie. + +01:13:47.007 --> 01:13:49.551 +I just wanted him to know that... +That it wasn't about... + +01:13:49.676 --> 01:13:52.471 +That you're not interested in the money. +That you just did it for the girl. + +01:13:58.852 --> 01:14:00.437 +- I just... +- Why did you have to fucking tell them + +01:14:00.521 --> 01:14:01.563 +about Irene? + +01:14:01.647 --> 01:14:03.816 +- Calm down! +- You told them about Irene! + +01:14:03.899 --> 01:14:05.651 +Calm down, kid. Just calm down. + +01:14:05.734 --> 01:14:07.820 +I should fucking kill you! + +01:14:07.903 --> 01:14:09.196 +You told them about Irene. + +01:14:09.530 --> 01:14:11.865 +I just wanted him to know + +01:14:12.407 --> 01:14:14.785 +that as soon as you returned the money +that was the end of it. + +01:14:14.868 --> 01:14:16.787 +That's all. I didn't know... + +01:14:16.870 --> 01:14:20.582 +How was I supposed to know? +How was I supposed to know that? Okay? + +01:14:20.666 --> 01:14:23.377 +Look, let me just talk to Bernie. Okay. + +01:14:24.044 --> 01:14:26.713 +Why you got to fuck +everything up, Shannon? + +01:14:26.797 --> 01:14:30.008 +How was I supposed to know +everything led to Nino? + +01:14:36.014 --> 01:14:37.474 +They're gonna come looking for me. + +01:14:37.558 --> 01:14:39.518 +And they're going to come for you. + +01:14:39.601 --> 01:14:41.979 +Do you understand? + +01:14:42.062 --> 01:14:45.566 +You got to get out of here. +And you got to get out now. + +01:14:45.649 --> 01:14:46.984 +- Listen to me. +- Oh, God. + +01:14:47.067 --> 01:14:48.944 +Listen to me, Shannon. + +01:14:49.027 --> 01:14:50.612 +Listen. + +01:14:50.696 --> 01:14:54.449 +You get out of here +and you never fucking come back. + +01:14:54.533 --> 01:14:56.285 +You never come back. + +01:15:02.249 --> 01:15:04.251 +What are you going to do? + +01:15:21.101 --> 01:15:23.896 +I already gave you my advice. + +01:15:23.979 --> 01:15:26.607 +You should have taken the money +and left the guy alone. + +01:15:26.690 --> 01:15:27.900 +It's not that simple, Bernie. + +01:15:27.983 --> 01:15:31.153 +No, of course not. +Now that it's bounced up in your face. + +01:15:31.236 --> 01:15:32.321 +Nino, I owe you this guy. + +01:15:32.404 --> 01:15:34.198 +Just give me a little time +and I'll get rid of him. + +01:15:34.281 --> 01:15:36.825 +Shut the fuck up, + +01:15:36.909 --> 01:15:39.077 +you fucking monkey. + +01:15:39.161 --> 01:15:42.873 +The money belongs +to some half-assed wise guy out of Philly. + +01:15:42.956 --> 01:15:44.666 +Now, I got tipped off, + +01:15:44.750 --> 01:15:47.127 +he was stashing +a million bucks in a pawnshop. + +01:15:47.211 --> 01:15:48.879 +He was going to invest it here in LA. + +01:15:48.962 --> 01:15:50.672 +He was going to set up a rival operation. + +01:15:51.340 --> 01:15:53.717 +So you stole from the East Coast mob? + +01:15:53.800 --> 01:15:56.929 +No. I stole from some jumped-up punk + +01:15:57.012 --> 01:15:58.722 +who was trying to step on our action. + +01:15:58.805 --> 01:16:03.310 +Yeah? Then why didn't you come to me +before you set up this dummy robbery? + +01:16:04.561 --> 01:16:06.521 +Before you hire this piece of shit. + +01:16:06.605 --> 01:16:08.232 +This is something off to the side, Bernie. + +01:16:08.315 --> 01:16:09.858 +I didn't want to involve you in this. + +01:16:09.942 --> 01:16:11.818 +Well, I'm involved now! + +01:16:13.820 --> 01:16:15.530 +I'm going to tell you something. + +01:16:15.614 --> 01:16:17.449 +Anybody... + +01:16:17.532 --> 01:16:21.453 +Anybody finds out you +stole from the family, + +01:16:21.536 --> 01:16:23.038 +we're both dead. + +01:16:23.121 --> 01:16:24.873 +What fucking family? + +01:16:25.832 --> 01:16:29.586 +The family who still +calls me a fucking kike! + +01:16:29.670 --> 01:16:31.338 +To my face! + +01:16:32.464 --> 01:16:34.591 +Yeah, I'm 59 years old, Bernie. + +01:16:34.675 --> 01:16:37.344 +They still pinch my cheek +like I'm some fucking kid. + +01:16:39.179 --> 01:16:40.430 +Family. + +01:16:40.514 --> 01:16:43.267 +The money always flows up, Izzy. + +01:16:43.350 --> 01:16:44.851 +You know that. + +01:16:46.395 --> 01:16:49.940 +That's why this driver's gotta go, Bernie. + +01:16:50.023 --> 01:16:52.943 +He's gotta go. And your pal, Shannon. + +01:16:53.026 --> 01:16:56.738 +These are the only two guys +who can tie me to this robbery. + +01:17:36.570 --> 01:17:39.281 +Now it's your turn to clean up after me. + +01:18:42.803 --> 01:18:44.971 +All these priceless cars. + +01:18:45.055 --> 01:18:47.808 +One would think you'd have better locks. + +01:18:49.643 --> 01:18:51.269 +Why? + +01:18:51.353 --> 01:18:53.563 +Door's always open to you. + +01:18:53.647 --> 01:18:54.898 +Going somewhere? + +01:19:00.529 --> 01:19:01.905 +Thinking about it. + +01:19:03.156 --> 01:19:05.033 +I'm looking for your driver. + +01:19:07.411 --> 01:19:09.955 +You break in here, I figure it's bad news. + +01:19:10.288 --> 01:19:14.042 +No, Shannon. It's bad luck. + +01:19:14.126 --> 01:19:17.796 +2,000 heists a year in this city, + +01:19:17.879 --> 01:19:19.756 +he has to pick the wrong one. + +01:19:20.590 --> 01:19:21.925 +He tried to put it right. + +01:19:22.008 --> 01:19:24.678 +Well, he picked the wrong +guy for that, too. + +01:19:24.761 --> 01:19:28.890 +My partner is a belligerent asshole +with his back against the wall. + +01:19:29.516 --> 01:19:31.268 +Right now, so am I. + +01:19:32.227 --> 01:19:35.439 +If I don't set this straight, +I'm in big trouble. + +01:19:38.608 --> 01:19:40.735 +Any idea where he might be? + +01:19:43.321 --> 01:19:44.531 +Mexico. + +01:19:45.699 --> 01:19:48.285 +Or maybe it was Belize. + +01:19:51.621 --> 01:19:52.956 +Really? + +01:19:59.546 --> 01:20:02.674 +I was getting excited +about this whole thing. + +01:20:02.757 --> 01:20:05.177 +My name on a car! + +01:20:05.260 --> 01:20:07.554 +I mean, look how beautiful. + +01:20:08.221 --> 01:20:10.891 +I wanted to see my name on this thing. + +01:20:13.101 --> 01:20:16.313 +I think we would have made a go +at this business. + +01:20:31.244 --> 01:20:33.955 +Don't worry. Don't worry. That's it. + +01:20:34.039 --> 01:20:35.248 +It's done. + +01:20:36.041 --> 01:20:38.376 +There's no pain. It's over. It's over. + +01:25:16.488 --> 01:25:18.406 +What the fuck was that? + +01:25:51.064 --> 01:25:52.357 +Let's get out of here. + +01:25:52.440 --> 01:25:54.067 +Yeah. + +01:27:55.647 --> 01:27:56.814 +Hello? + +01:27:58.024 --> 01:28:01.319 +You know +the story about the scorpion and the frog? + +01:28:04.197 --> 01:28:07.367 +Your friend Nino +didn't make it across the river. + +01:28:09.619 --> 01:28:12.205 +I think this has gone on long enough. + +01:28:13.581 --> 01:28:16.209 +You see any reason for it to continue? + +01:28:18.002 --> 01:28:20.004 +What do you say we meet? + +01:28:22.507 --> 01:28:23.967 +Why? + +01:28:25.760 --> 01:28:30.473 +Well, you, me, and your girlfriend +are the only players left. + +01:28:31.474 --> 01:28:32.725 +How's that for a reason? + +01:28:35.561 --> 01:28:36.896 +When? + +01:28:36.980 --> 01:28:38.815 +Tomorrow. + +01:28:38.898 --> 01:28:40.692 +There's a place on Sherman Way + +01:28:40.775 --> 01:28:43.152 +it's a restaurant called The Great Wall. + +01:28:43.236 --> 01:28:44.779 +Do you know it? + +01:29:13.057 --> 01:29:14.976 +Can I talk to you? + +01:29:17.603 --> 01:29:19.480 +I won't keep you long. + +01:29:24.235 --> 01:29:27.822 +I have to go somewhere +and I don't think I can come back. + +01:29:32.285 --> 01:29:34.954 +But I just want you to know. + +01:29:35.038 --> 01:29:37.749 +Getting to be around you and Benicio + +01:29:39.959 --> 01:29:42.879 +was the best thing that +ever happened to me. + +01:30:34.806 --> 01:30:36.766 +Did you bring the money? + +01:30:42.730 --> 01:30:45.441 +Here's what I'm prepared to offer. + +01:30:45.525 --> 01:30:48.611 +You give me the money, the girl is safe. + +01:30:48.694 --> 01:30:50.571 +Forever. Nobody knows about her. + +01:30:50.655 --> 01:30:52.365 +She's off the map. + +01:30:54.075 --> 01:30:56.327 +I can't offer you the same. + +01:30:57.620 --> 01:31:00.039 +So, this is what I would suggest. + +01:31:00.706 --> 01:31:03.584 +We conclude our deal. We'll shake hands. + +01:31:03.668 --> 01:31:06.003 +You start the rest of your life. + +01:31:08.714 --> 01:31:11.300 +Any dreams you have, or plans, + +01:31:11.384 --> 01:31:13.386 +or hopes for your future... + +01:31:13.469 --> 01:31:16.889 +I think you're going to +have to put that on hold. + +01:31:16.973 --> 01:31:19.934 +For the rest of your life you're going to +be looking over your shoulder. + +01:31:20.017 --> 01:31:23.980 +I'm just telling you this +because I want you to know the truth. + +01:31:25.565 --> 01:31:27.400 +But the girl is safe. + +01:31:47.545 --> 01:31:49.422 +Where's the money now? + +01:31:50.965 --> 01:31:52.592 +It's in the car. + +01:32:00.975 --> 01:32:02.226 +Come on. + +01:40:24.220 --> 01:40:24.226 +... + +01:40:29.220 --> 01:40:39.220 +Encoded By Deceit @ YIFY Torrents + +01:41:08.468 --> 01:41:11.470 +♪ Yo ho +Yo ho + +01:41:11.555 --> 01:41:14.600 +♪ A pirate's life for me + +01:41:14.642 --> 01:41:19.437 +♪ We extort, we pilfer +We filch, we sack + +01:41:19.479 --> 01:41:21.983 +- ♪ Drink... +- Quiet, missy! + +01:41:22.066 --> 01:41:24.442 +Cursed pirates sail these waters. + +01:41:24.526 --> 01:41:26.777 +You don't want to bring +them down on us, do ya? + +01:41:26.862 --> 01:41:28.655 +Mr. Gibbs, that will do. + +01:41:29.448 --> 01:41:31.325 +She was singing about pirates! + +01:41:31.367 --> 01:41:33.492 +Bad luck to be singing about pirates + +01:41:33.577 --> 01:41:36.747 +with us mired in this unnatural fog, +mark my words. + +01:41:36.831 --> 01:41:38.165 +Consider them marked. + +01:41:39.918 --> 01:41:42.335 +- On your way. +- Aye, lieutenant. + +01:41:42.420 --> 01:41:44.504 +It's bad luck to have +a woman on board too. + +01:41:44.547 --> 01:41:46.797 +Even a miniature one. + +01:41:47.924 --> 01:41:50.384 +I think it'd be rather exciting +to meet a pirate. + +01:41:52.096 --> 01:41:54.181 +Think again, Miss Swann. + +01:41:54.265 --> 01:41:57.100 +Vile and dissolute creatures, +the lot of 'em. + +01:41:57.184 --> 01:42:00.312 +I intend to see to it that any man +who sails under a pirate flag + +01:42:00.354 --> 01:42:02.980 +or wears a pirate brand +gets what he deserves. + +01:42:04.190 --> 01:42:06.360 +A short drop and a sudden stop. + +01:42:10.405 --> 01:42:13.032 +Lieutenant Norrington, +I appreciate your fervor, + +01:42:13.075 --> 01:42:17.704 +but I'm concerned about the effect +this subject will have upon my daughter. + +01:42:17.788 --> 01:42:19.580 +My apologies, Governor Swann. + +01:42:19.665 --> 01:42:21.875 +Actually, I find it all fascinating. + +01:42:21.960 --> 01:42:23.708 +Yes. That's what concerns me. + +01:42:51.989 --> 01:42:54.407 +Look! A boy! +There's a boy in the water! + +01:42:56.868 --> 01:42:58.828 +Man overboard! + +01:43:00.080 --> 01:43:01.789 +Man the ropes! +Fetch a hook! + +01:43:02.624 --> 01:43:03.958 +Haul him aboard! + +01:43:12.508 --> 01:43:14.427 +He's still breathing. + +01:43:14.510 --> 01:43:16.762 +Mary, Mother of God! + +01:43:23.228 --> 01:43:24.771 +What happened here? + +01:43:26.272 --> 01:43:29.983 +Most likely the powder magazine. +Merchant vessels run heavily armed. + +01:43:32.029 --> 01:43:33.610 +Lot of good it did them. + +01:43:33.695 --> 01:43:36.282 +Everyone's thinking it, +I'm just saying it. + +01:43:37.160 --> 01:43:38.367 +Pirates! + +01:43:38.452 --> 01:43:41.287 +There's no proof of that! + +01:43:41.329 --> 01:43:42.870 +It was probably an accident. + +01:43:44.459 --> 01:43:46.249 +Rouse the captain. + +01:43:46.292 --> 01:43:48.209 +- Aye, sir. +- Heave to and take in sail. + +01:43:48.294 --> 01:43:49.961 +- Launch the boats. +- Heave to! + +01:43:52.132 --> 01:43:54.467 +Elizabeth, I want you +to accompany the boy. + +01:43:55.634 --> 01:43:56.969 +He'll be in your charge. + +01:43:57.012 --> 01:43:58.679 +Take care of him. + +01:44:16.740 --> 01:44:19.657 +It's OK. + +01:44:19.742 --> 01:44:22.494 +My name's Elizabeth Swann. + +01:44:23.829 --> 01:44:25.247 +Will Turner. + +01:44:26.249 --> 01:44:28.167 +I'm watching over you, Will. + +01:44:40.972 --> 01:44:42.931 +You're a pirate! + +01:44:43.015 --> 01:44:44.934 +Has he said anything? + +01:44:45.018 --> 01:44:46.602 +His name's William Turner. + +01:44:46.686 --> 01:44:48.186 +That's all I found out. + +01:44:49.188 --> 01:44:51.398 +Take him below. + +01:46:00.801 --> 01:46:02.594 +Elizabeth! + +01:46:04.429 --> 01:46:05.597 +Are you all right? + +01:46:07.017 --> 01:46:08.141 +Are you decent? + +01:46:08.768 --> 01:46:09.768 +Yes. + +01:46:09.811 --> 01:46:10.810 +Yes? + +01:46:12.313 --> 01:46:13.772 +Still in bed at this hour? + +01:46:15.816 --> 01:46:18.109 +It's a beautiful day. + +01:46:19.611 --> 01:46:21.197 +I have a gift for you. + +01:46:24.158 --> 01:46:27.117 +- Oh, it's beautiful! +- Isn't it? + +01:46:28.788 --> 01:46:31.207 +May I inquire as to the occasion? + +01:46:31.289 --> 01:46:34.708 +Does a father need an occasion +to dote upon his daughter? + +01:46:34.792 --> 01:46:36.836 +Go on. + +01:46:40.300 --> 01:46:41.799 +Actually, I... + +01:46:43.470 --> 01:46:46.095 +I had hoped you might wear it +for the ceremony today. + +01:46:46.138 --> 01:46:47.430 +Ceremony? + +01:46:47.473 --> 01:46:49.891 +Captain Norrington's promotion ceremony. + +01:46:49.975 --> 01:46:51.142 +I knew it! + +01:46:51.227 --> 01:46:54.520 +Commodore Norrington, +as he's about to become. + +01:46:54.605 --> 01:46:56.522 +A fine gentleman, don't you think? + +01:46:57.316 --> 01:46:58.816 +He fancies you, you know. + +01:46:58.860 --> 01:47:00.903 +Elizabeth? + +01:47:00.987 --> 01:47:02.654 +How's it coming? + +01:47:02.738 --> 01:47:05.323 +It's difficult to say. + +01:47:05.407 --> 01:47:07.659 +I'm told it's +the latest fashion in London. + +01:47:07.701 --> 01:47:09.076 +Well, women in London + +01:47:09.160 --> 01:47:10.828 +must've learned not to breathe! + +01:47:12.998 --> 01:47:14.667 +My Lord, you have a visitor. + +01:47:32.977 --> 01:47:34.185 +Ah, Mr. Turner. + +01:47:34.228 --> 01:47:35.687 +Good to see you again. + +01:47:35.771 --> 01:47:37.605 +Good day, sir. + +01:47:38.523 --> 01:47:39.690 +I have your order. + +01:47:45.197 --> 01:47:46.364 +Well... + +01:47:46.448 --> 01:47:48.199 +The blade is folded steel. + +01:47:48.284 --> 01:47:51.285 +That's gold filigree +laid into the handle. + +01:47:51.996 --> 01:47:53.246 +If I may? + +01:47:55.416 --> 01:47:56.873 +Perfectly balanced. + +01:47:57.667 --> 01:47:59.961 +The tang is nearly +the full width of the blade. + +01:48:02.881 --> 01:48:05.049 +Impressive. Very impressive. + +01:48:05.092 --> 01:48:06.426 +Very nice. + +01:48:07.094 --> 01:48:10.095 +Commodore Norrington's going +to be very pleased with this. + +01:48:11.222 --> 01:48:13.725 +Do pass my compliments +onto your master. + +01:48:15.893 --> 01:48:16.893 +I shall. + +01:48:18.354 --> 01:48:21.691 +A craftsman is always pleased +to hear his work is appreciated. + +01:48:23.192 --> 01:48:26.695 +Elizabeth! +You look absolutely stunning. + +01:48:26.738 --> 01:48:28.572 +Will. + +01:48:28.906 --> 01:48:31.742 +It's so good to see you. + +01:48:31.826 --> 01:48:33.493 +I had a dream about you last night. + +01:48:33.578 --> 01:48:34.578 +About me? + +01:48:34.662 --> 01:48:36.331 +Is it entirely proper for you...? + +01:48:36.415 --> 01:48:38.206 +About the day we met. +Do you remember? + +01:48:38.249 --> 01:48:41.084 +How could I forget, Miss Swann? + +01:48:41.127 --> 01:48:43.629 +How many times must I ask you +to call me Elizabeth? + +01:48:43.714 --> 01:48:46.007 +At least once more, Miss Swann. + +01:48:46.091 --> 01:48:47.924 +As always. + +01:48:47.966 --> 01:48:49.260 +Now, you see? + +01:48:49.303 --> 01:48:51.595 +At least the boy +has a sense of propriety. + +01:48:51.679 --> 01:48:52.930 +We really must be going. + +01:48:52.973 --> 01:48:53.973 +Come on. + +01:48:55.309 --> 01:48:56.600 +Good day, Mr. Turner. + +01:48:58.185 --> 01:48:59.187 +Come along! + +01:49:02.566 --> 01:49:03.773 +Good day... + +01:49:06.611 --> 01:49:08.112 +...Elizabeth. + +01:50:38.870 --> 01:50:40.495 +Hold up there, you! + +01:50:42.164 --> 01:50:45.499 +It's a shilling to tie up +your boat to the dock. + +01:50:47.502 --> 01:50:49.211 +And I shall need to know your name. + +01:50:51.883 --> 01:50:54.176 +What do you say to three shillings, + +01:50:54.218 --> 01:50:55.469 +and we forget the name? + +01:50:58.931 --> 01:51:01.140 +Welcome to Port Royal, Mr. Smith. + +01:51:37.595 --> 01:51:39.428 +Two paces... march! + +01:51:41.973 --> 01:51:43.976 +Right about... face! + +01:51:46.521 --> 01:51:49.272 +Present... arms! + +01:52:13.547 --> 01:52:16.299 +This dock is off-limits to civilians. + +01:52:16.384 --> 01:52:18.133 +I'm terribly sorry, I didn't know. + +01:52:18.176 --> 01:52:20.887 +If I see one, +I shall inform you immediately. + +01:52:24.474 --> 01:52:28.101 +Apparently, there's some high-toned +and fancy to-do up at the fort, eh? + +01:52:28.143 --> 01:52:31.314 +How could it be two upstanding +gentlemen, such as yourselves, + +01:52:31.400 --> 01:52:33.358 +did not merit an invitation? + +01:52:33.442 --> 01:52:36.611 +Someone has to make sure this dock +stays off-limits to civilians. + +01:52:36.654 --> 01:52:39.031 +It's a fine goal, to be sure. + +01:52:39.114 --> 01:52:41.074 +But it seems to me, a... + +01:52:41.158 --> 01:52:42.908 +A ship like that... + +01:52:42.993 --> 01:52:45.996 +...makes this one here +a bit superfluous, really. + +01:52:46.038 --> 01:52:49.164 +Oh, the Dauntless is the power +in these waters, true enough, + +01:52:49.207 --> 01:52:53.168 +but there's no ship that can match +the Interceptor for speed. + +01:52:53.211 --> 01:52:54.295 +I've heard of one. + +01:52:54.337 --> 01:52:57.006 +It's supposed to be very fast, +nigh uncatchable. + +01:52:57.090 --> 01:52:58.842 +The Black Pearl. + +01:53:01.387 --> 01:53:02.885 +There's no real ship + +01:53:02.970 --> 01:53:04.639 +that can match the Interceptor. + +01:53:06.309 --> 01:53:08.351 +The Black Pearl is a real ship. + +01:53:08.394 --> 01:53:10.019 +No. No, it's not. + +01:53:10.061 --> 01:53:11.395 +Yes, it is. I've seen it! + +01:53:12.146 --> 01:53:13.231 +You've seen it? + +01:53:13.316 --> 01:53:16.192 +- Yes. +- You haven't seen it! + +01:53:16.277 --> 01:53:18.984 +- Yes, I have! +- You've seen a ship + +01:53:19.027 --> 01:53:21.032 +with black sails, + +01:53:21.116 --> 01:53:22.782 +that's crewed by the damned, + +01:53:22.867 --> 01:53:25.367 +and captained by a man so evil + +01:53:25.410 --> 01:53:28.037 +that hell itself spat him back out? + +01:53:28.830 --> 01:53:31.081 +No. + +01:53:31.833 --> 01:53:34.250 +But I have seen a ship +with black sails. + +01:53:34.335 --> 01:53:37.212 +Oh... And no ship that's +not crewed by the damned, + +01:53:37.297 --> 01:53:40.049 +and captained by a man so evil +that hell spat him back out + +01:53:40.091 --> 01:53:41.717 +could possibly have black sails, + +01:53:41.801 --> 01:53:44.053 +therefore couldn't possibly +be any other ship + +01:53:44.095 --> 01:53:47.555 +than the Black Pearl, +is that what you're saying? + +01:53:47.598 --> 01:53:48.724 +No. + +01:53:48.767 --> 01:53:50.058 +Like I said, + +01:53:50.142 --> 01:53:53.354 +there's no real ship +that can match the Interceptor... + +01:53:55.816 --> 01:53:56.814 +Hey! + +01:53:58.278 --> 01:53:59.276 +You! + +01:53:59.778 --> 01:54:01.445 +Get away from there! + +01:54:01.529 --> 01:54:03.905 +You don't have permission +to be aboard there! + +01:54:03.947 --> 01:54:05.659 +Sorry. It's such a pretty boat. + +01:54:05.742 --> 01:54:06.741 +Ship! + +01:54:07.495 --> 01:54:08.494 +What's your name? + +01:54:08.577 --> 01:54:09.577 +Smith! + +01:54:09.620 --> 01:54:11.372 +Or Smithy, if you like. + +01:54:11.414 --> 01:54:14.709 +What's your purpose in Port Royal, +Mr. Smith? + +01:54:14.752 --> 01:54:15.751 +Yeah, and no lies! + +01:54:15.835 --> 01:54:17.295 +All right then. + +01:54:17.380 --> 01:54:18.379 +I confess. + +01:54:18.796 --> 01:54:22.091 +It is my intention to commandeer +one of these ships, pick up a crew + +01:54:22.174 --> 01:54:25.593 +in Tortuga to rape, pillage, and pilfer +my weasely black guts out. + +01:54:25.636 --> 01:54:27.553 +I said, no lies! + +01:54:27.596 --> 01:54:29.516 +I think he's telling the truth. + +01:54:29.600 --> 01:54:31.141 +If he were telling the truth, + +01:54:31.226 --> 01:54:32.477 +he wouldn't have told us. + +01:54:33.436 --> 01:54:36.980 +Unless he knew you wouldn't believe +the truth, even if he told it to you. + +01:54:47.701 --> 01:54:49.076 +May I have a moment? + +01:54:58.044 --> 01:54:59.794 +You look lovely, Elizabeth. + +01:54:59.837 --> 01:55:01.631 +Yes. + +01:55:02.716 --> 01:55:05.384 +I apologize if I seem forward, + +01:55:05.468 --> 01:55:07.554 +but I must speak my mind. + +01:55:10.433 --> 01:55:13.434 +This promotion throws into sharp relief + +01:55:13.476 --> 01:55:16.435 +that which I have not yet achieved. + +01:55:18.897 --> 01:55:20.650 +A marriage to a fine woman. + +01:55:22.193 --> 01:55:24.862 +You have become a fine woman, Elizabeth. + +01:55:25.446 --> 01:55:26.822 +I can't breathe. + +01:55:26.906 --> 01:55:28.698 +Yes, I... + +01:55:28.782 --> 01:55:30.284 +I'm a bit nervous myself. + +01:55:33.162 --> 01:55:34.871 +And then they made me their chief. + +01:55:37.834 --> 01:55:38.876 +Elizabeth? + +01:55:41.587 --> 01:55:42.588 +Elizabeth! + +01:55:44.841 --> 01:55:47.550 +The rocks! +Sir, it's a miracle she missed them! + +01:55:50.053 --> 01:55:52.348 +- Will you be saving her, then? +- I can't swim! + +01:55:54.517 --> 01:55:56.517 +Pearl of the King's Navy, you are! + +01:55:56.560 --> 01:55:58.270 +Do not lose these! + +01:56:12.743 --> 01:56:13.952 +What was that? + +01:56:48.612 --> 01:56:50.237 +Make way! + +01:56:56.786 --> 01:56:57.786 +I got her! + +01:56:59.165 --> 01:57:00.331 +She's not breathing! + +01:57:00.416 --> 01:57:01.416 +Move! + +01:57:08.507 --> 01:57:10.258 +I never would've thought of that. + +01:57:10.342 --> 01:57:12.592 +Clearly you've never been to Singapore. + +01:57:18.183 --> 01:57:19.810 +Where did you get that? + +01:57:22.021 --> 01:57:24.231 +On your feet. + +01:57:25.607 --> 01:57:26.858 +Elizabeth! + +01:57:28.193 --> 01:57:30.193 +- Are you all right? +- Yes, I'm fine. + +01:57:35.158 --> 01:57:37.743 +- Shoot him! +- Father! Commodore... + +01:57:37.786 --> 01:57:39.828 +...do you intend to kill my rescuer? + +01:57:47.212 --> 01:57:49.005 +I believe thanks are in order. + +01:57:53.635 --> 01:57:56.470 +Had a brush with the East India +Trading Company, did we? + +01:57:56.513 --> 01:57:57.804 +Pirate? + +01:57:59.058 --> 01:58:00.349 +Hang him. + +01:58:00.434 --> 01:58:03.184 +Keep your guns on him, men. +Gillette, fetch some irons. + +01:58:04.438 --> 01:58:05.772 +Well, well. + +01:58:05.815 --> 01:58:08.316 +Jack Sparrow, isn't it? + +01:58:08.400 --> 01:58:11.027 +Captain Jack Sparrow, +if you please, sir. + +01:58:11.111 --> 01:58:12.988 +Well, I don't see your ship... + +01:58:13.031 --> 01:58:14.196 +...captain. + +01:58:14.281 --> 01:58:16.657 +I'm in the market, as it were. + +01:58:16.700 --> 01:58:18.701 +He said he'd come to commandeer one. + +01:58:18.784 --> 01:58:21.579 +I told you he was telling the truth. +These are his, sir. + +01:58:25.042 --> 01:58:28.169 +No additional shots nor powder. + +01:58:30.005 --> 01:58:31.840 +A compass that doesn't point north. + +01:58:36.845 --> 01:58:39.513 +And I half expected it +to be made of wood. + +01:58:42.017 --> 01:58:44.936 +You are, without doubt, +the worst pirate I've heard of. + +01:58:45.938 --> 01:58:47.354 +But you have heard of me. + +01:58:50.316 --> 01:58:52.859 +Commodore, I really must protest! + +01:58:52.944 --> 01:58:54.527 +Carefully, lieutenant. + +01:58:54.570 --> 01:58:56.863 +Pirate or not, this man saved my life! + +01:58:56.907 --> 01:59:00.410 +One good deed is not enough to redeem +a man of a lifetime of wickedness! + +01:59:00.495 --> 01:59:02.202 +But it seems enough to condemn him. + +01:59:02.286 --> 01:59:03.746 +Indeed. + +01:59:05.289 --> 01:59:06.999 +Finally. + +01:59:07.042 --> 01:59:09.376 +Wait, don't shoot! + +01:59:09.418 --> 01:59:10.752 +I knew you'd warm up to me. + +01:59:10.836 --> 01:59:13.632 +Commodore Norrington, +my effects, please. + +01:59:13.716 --> 01:59:15.383 +And my hat. + +01:59:16.010 --> 01:59:17.342 +Commodore. + +01:59:19.887 --> 01:59:23.224 +- Elizabeth. It is Elizabeth, isn't it? +- It's Miss Swann. + +01:59:23.266 --> 01:59:25.893 +Miss Swann, if you'd be so kind. + +01:59:25.936 --> 01:59:28.563 +Come, dear, we don't have all day. + +01:59:29.898 --> 01:59:31.316 +Now, if you'll be very kind. + +01:59:48.333 --> 01:59:49.749 +Easy on the goods, darling. + +01:59:51.170 --> 01:59:52.585 +You're despicable. + +01:59:52.670 --> 01:59:54.714 +Sticks and stones, love. + +01:59:54.756 --> 01:59:56.339 +I saved your life, you save mine. + +01:59:56.424 --> 01:59:57.424 +We're square. + +01:59:58.427 --> 01:59:59.633 +Gentlemen... + +01:59:59.718 --> 02:00:01.178 +...my lady... + +02:00:01.263 --> 02:00:04.597 +...you will always remember this +as the day you almost caught... + +02:00:04.682 --> 02:00:07.101 +...Captain Jack Sparrow! + +02:00:23.660 --> 02:00:25.619 +Whoa! + +02:00:25.704 --> 02:00:27.162 +Now, will you shoot him? + +02:00:27.246 --> 02:00:28.914 +Open fire! + +02:00:30.666 --> 02:00:31.834 +Ahh! + +02:00:36.214 --> 02:00:37.630 +Burn his heels! + +02:00:46.556 --> 02:00:47.767 +Take steady aim. + +02:00:47.809 --> 02:00:49.141 +Fire! + +02:00:53.064 --> 02:00:55.066 +Take cover, men! + +02:00:55.150 --> 02:00:57.067 +Gillette... + +02:00:57.152 --> 02:00:59.987 +...Mr. Sparrow has a dawn +appointment with the gallows. + +02:01:00.364 --> 02:01:02.363 +I would hate for him to miss it. + +02:01:06.368 --> 02:01:07.786 +Search upstairs! + +02:01:09.120 --> 02:01:10.331 +Look lively, men! + +02:01:52.456 --> 02:01:53.832 +Whoa! + +02:02:43.590 --> 02:02:45.717 +Right where I left you. + +02:02:52.267 --> 02:02:54.100 +Not where I left you. + +02:03:04.694 --> 02:03:06.529 +You're the one they're hunting. + +02:03:07.531 --> 02:03:08.698 +The pirate! + +02:03:09.450 --> 02:03:12.577 +You seem somewhat familiar. +Have I threatened you before? + +02:03:12.620 --> 02:03:15.289 +I make a point of avoiding +familiarity with pirates. + +02:03:15.372 --> 02:03:16.413 +Ah... + +02:03:16.456 --> 02:03:19.124 +It would be a shame to put +a black mark on your record. + +02:03:19.209 --> 02:03:20.710 +So if you'll excuse me... + +02:03:24.215 --> 02:03:26.381 +Do you think this wise, boy? + +02:03:27.343 --> 02:03:30.510 +Crossing blades with a pirate? + +02:03:30.595 --> 02:03:31.971 +You threatened Miss Swann. + +02:03:35.016 --> 02:03:36.351 +Only a little. + +02:03:49.949 --> 02:03:53.117 +You know what you're doing, +I'll give you that. Excellent form. + +02:03:53.993 --> 02:03:55.702 +But how's your footwork? + +02:03:55.787 --> 02:03:57.872 +If I step here... + +02:03:59.251 --> 02:04:00.667 +Very good. + +02:04:00.709 --> 02:04:02.794 +And now I step again. + +02:04:07.507 --> 02:04:08.841 +Ta. + +02:04:28.737 --> 02:04:30.404 +That is a wonderful trick. + +02:04:31.699 --> 02:04:35.368 +Except, once again, +you are between me and my way out. + +02:04:35.452 --> 02:04:36.576 +And now... + +02:04:37.205 --> 02:04:38.620 +...you have no weapon. + +02:05:00.977 --> 02:05:02.602 +Who makes all these? + +02:05:04.062 --> 02:05:05.399 +I do. + +02:05:05.442 --> 02:05:07.733 +And I practice with them... + +02:05:08.276 --> 02:05:09.402 +...three hours a day. + +02:05:11.236 --> 02:05:13.405 +You need to find yourself a girl, mate. + +02:05:20.078 --> 02:05:22.998 +Or... perhaps the reason +you practice three hours a day + +02:05:23.082 --> 02:05:24.917 +is that you already found one, + +02:05:24.960 --> 02:05:28.588 +and are otherwise incapable +of wooing said strumpet. + +02:05:28.672 --> 02:05:31.090 +You're not a eunuch, are you? + +02:05:31.175 --> 02:05:34.135 +I practice three hours a day +so that when I meet a pirate, + +02:05:34.219 --> 02:05:35.594 +I can kill him! + +02:06:52.839 --> 02:06:53.881 +You cheated. + +02:06:53.966 --> 02:06:55.214 +Pirate. + +02:06:58.804 --> 02:07:00.846 +- Move away! +- No. + +02:07:00.888 --> 02:07:02.264 +Please move? + +02:07:02.348 --> 02:07:03.349 +No! + +02:07:03.392 --> 02:07:06.185 +I cannot just step aside +and let you escape. + +02:07:08.729 --> 02:07:10.729 +This shot is not meant for you. + +02:07:21.076 --> 02:07:23.076 +There he is! Over here! + +02:07:25.078 --> 02:07:27.036 +Excellent work, Mr. Brown. + +02:07:28.040 --> 02:07:30.917 +You've assisted in the capture +of a dangerous fugitive. + +02:07:31.002 --> 02:07:33.294 +Just doing my civic duty, sir. + +02:07:34.295 --> 02:07:36.882 +I trust you will always remember +that this is the day + +02:07:36.924 --> 02:07:40.385 +Captain Jack Sparrow almost escaped. + +02:07:40.428 --> 02:07:42.178 +Take him away. + +02:07:46.475 --> 02:07:49.393 +- Come here, boy! +- Smell it? + +02:07:49.436 --> 02:07:52.772 +- Come here, boy! +- You want a nice, juicy bone? + +02:07:52.857 --> 02:07:54.983 +- Hey! +- Come here, boy! + +02:07:55.066 --> 02:07:57.568 +- Come here, boy! +- You can keep doing that forever. + +02:07:57.653 --> 02:07:59.862 +The dog is never going to move. + +02:07:59.905 --> 02:08:04.200 +Well, excuse us if we haven't resigned +ourselves to the gallows just yet! + +02:08:05.244 --> 02:08:06.661 +Come on! + +02:08:10.917 --> 02:08:12.208 +There you go, miss. + +02:08:12.250 --> 02:08:15.045 +It was a difficult day for you, +I'm sure. + +02:08:15.087 --> 02:08:17.756 +I suspected Commodore Norrington +would propose, + +02:08:17.840 --> 02:08:20.425 +but I must admit, +I wasn't entirely prepared for it. + +02:08:20.510 --> 02:08:22.761 +I meant you being +threatened by that pirate! + +02:08:22.803 --> 02:08:24.053 +Sounds terrifying! + +02:08:24.804 --> 02:08:27.557 +Oh... Yes, it was terrifying. + +02:08:27.601 --> 02:08:29.601 +But... the Commodore proposed! + +02:08:29.685 --> 02:08:31.268 +Fancy that. + +02:08:31.353 --> 02:08:32.937 +Now that's a smart match, miss, + +02:08:33.021 --> 02:08:35.147 +if it's not too bold to say. + +02:08:35.233 --> 02:08:36.608 +It is a smart match. + +02:08:37.776 --> 02:08:39.568 +He's a fine man. + +02:08:40.862 --> 02:08:43.366 +He's what any woman +should dream of marrying. + +02:08:44.449 --> 02:08:46.576 +Well, that Will Turner, + +02:08:46.618 --> 02:08:48.786 +he's a fine man too. + +02:08:48.828 --> 02:08:50.622 +That is too bold. + +02:08:50.706 --> 02:08:52.791 +Well, beggin' your pardon, miss. + +02:08:52.833 --> 02:08:54.500 +It was not my place. + +02:09:43.550 --> 02:09:46.552 +Has my daughter given +you an answer yet? + +02:09:46.636 --> 02:09:48.343 +No, she hasn't. + +02:09:48.386 --> 02:09:50.723 +Well, she has had a very trying day. + +02:09:52.393 --> 02:09:54.559 +Ghastly weather, don't you think? + +02:09:54.643 --> 02:09:56.520 +Bleak. Really bleak. + +02:09:58.316 --> 02:09:59.315 +What's that? + +02:10:00.400 --> 02:10:02.276 +Cannon fire! + +02:10:03.652 --> 02:10:05.529 +Return fire! + +02:10:05.572 --> 02:10:08.616 +I know those guns! + +02:10:13.579 --> 02:10:15.581 +It's the Pearl! + +02:10:15.664 --> 02:10:17.375 +Black Pearl? + +02:10:19.877 --> 02:10:21.503 +I've heard stories. + +02:10:21.546 --> 02:10:25.548 +She's been preying on ships and +settlements for near ten years. + +02:10:25.633 --> 02:10:27.218 +Never leaves any survivors. + +02:10:27.303 --> 02:10:28.719 +No survivors. + +02:10:28.762 --> 02:10:31.597 +Then where do the stories +come from, I wonder? + +02:10:40.899 --> 02:10:42.652 +Clear the dock! + +02:10:56.205 --> 02:10:57.872 +Mama! + +02:11:04.464 --> 02:11:06.090 +Hoist your oars! + +02:11:11.053 --> 02:11:13.347 +Come on, you! + +02:12:04.106 --> 02:12:05.941 +Sight the muzzle flash. + +02:12:05.984 --> 02:12:06.984 +Aim for the flashes. + +02:12:07.068 --> 02:12:09.153 +I need a full spread, fore and aft. + +02:12:09.195 --> 02:12:10.862 +Mr. Stevens, more cartridges! + +02:12:11.740 --> 02:12:14.867 +Governor! +Barricade yourself in my office. + +02:12:15.826 --> 02:12:16.826 +Good God! + +02:12:16.870 --> 02:12:18.494 +That's an order. + +02:12:35.429 --> 02:12:37.723 +Don't! + +02:12:38.515 --> 02:12:39.682 +Hello, chum. + +02:12:43.938 --> 02:12:45.481 +Up there! Go! + +02:12:55.282 --> 02:12:57.910 +Miss! They've come to kidnap you! + +02:12:57.994 --> 02:13:00.536 +- What? +- You're the governor's daughter! + +02:13:00.621 --> 02:13:01.789 +In here! + +02:13:03.540 --> 02:13:07.794 +They haven't seen you. Hide, and the +first chance you get, run to the fort! + +02:13:17.304 --> 02:13:18.930 +Got ya! Haven't I? + +02:13:22.434 --> 02:13:25.936 +No! No! It's hot! + +02:13:26.020 --> 02:13:27.898 +- I'm burning! +- Come on! + +02:13:32.361 --> 02:13:33.694 +Come on, me lads! + +02:14:00.931 --> 02:14:02.890 +Come out. + +02:14:11.858 --> 02:14:14.693 +We know you're here, poppet. + +02:14:15.779 --> 02:14:16.945 +Poppet. + +02:14:17.029 --> 02:14:18.072 +Come out... + +02:14:18.991 --> 02:14:21.201 +...and we promise we won't hurt you. + +02:14:21.286 --> 02:14:22.535 +Eh? + +02:14:24.287 --> 02:14:26.289 +We will find you, poppet. + +02:14:27.331 --> 02:14:29.750 +You've got something of ours, + +02:14:29.793 --> 02:14:31.585 +and it calls to us. + +02:14:37.301 --> 02:14:39.802 +The gold calls to us. + +02:14:40.845 --> 02:14:42.013 +The gold. + +02:14:48.145 --> 02:14:50.186 +Hello, poppet. + +02:14:50.731 --> 02:14:51.732 +Parley! + +02:14:52.441 --> 02:14:53.649 +What? + +02:14:53.691 --> 02:14:54.859 +Parley. + +02:14:54.943 --> 02:14:56.359 +I invoke the right of parley. + +02:14:56.444 --> 02:15:00.364 +According to the code of Brethren, set +down by pirates Morgan and Bartholomew, + +02:15:00.449 --> 02:15:03.534 +- you have to take me to your captain. +- I know the code. + +02:15:03.619 --> 02:15:06.327 +If an adversary demands parley, +you can do them no harm + +02:15:06.369 --> 02:15:09.164 +- until the parley is complete. +- To blazes with the code! + +02:15:09.248 --> 02:15:11.207 +She wants to be taken to the captain. + +02:15:12.711 --> 02:15:15.004 +And she'll go, without a fuss. + +02:15:16.047 --> 02:15:19.089 +We must honor the code. + +02:15:29.728 --> 02:15:31.102 +Say goodbye! + +02:15:35.818 --> 02:15:37.067 +Goodbye. + +02:15:41.196 --> 02:15:42.991 +- Come on! +- Elizabeth! + +02:15:44.492 --> 02:15:45.619 +Well! + +02:15:52.417 --> 02:15:53.999 +Out of my way, scum! + +02:16:06.639 --> 02:16:09.556 +My sympathies, friend. +You've no manner of luck at all. + +02:16:32.124 --> 02:16:35.334 +Come on, doggy! +It's just you and me now. + +02:16:35.419 --> 02:16:37.794 +It's you and old Jack. +Come on. + +02:16:37.878 --> 02:16:39.588 +Come on. That's a boy! + +02:16:39.631 --> 02:16:41.798 +Good boy. Come get your bone! + +02:16:41.882 --> 02:16:45.760 +That's a good boy. +Come on, a bit closer, a bit closer. + +02:16:45.845 --> 02:16:47.887 +That's it! That's it, doggy! + +02:16:47.930 --> 02:16:51.350 +Come on, you filthy, +slimy, mangy cur! + +02:16:52.602 --> 02:16:54.269 +Don't do that. No, no, no! + +02:16:54.311 --> 02:16:55.979 +I didn't mean it! I didn't... + +02:17:02.862 --> 02:17:04.404 +This ain't the armory! + +02:17:06.115 --> 02:17:07.324 +Well, well, well. + +02:17:07.410 --> 02:17:10.285 +Look what we have here, Twigg. + +02:17:10.369 --> 02:17:12.455 +Captain Jack Sparrow. + +02:17:13.622 --> 02:17:15.789 +Last time I saw you, + +02:17:15.832 --> 02:17:17.625 +you were all alone + +02:17:17.710 --> 02:17:20.462 +on a godforsaken island, + +02:17:20.504 --> 02:17:22.715 +shrinking into the distance. + +02:17:22.799 --> 02:17:25.299 +His fortunes aren't improved much. + +02:17:25.383 --> 02:17:28.804 +Worry about your own fortunes, +gentlemen. + +02:17:28.847 --> 02:17:31.890 +The deepest circle of hell +is reserved for betrayers + +02:17:31.974 --> 02:17:33.516 +and mutineers. + +02:17:37.646 --> 02:17:39.147 +So there is a curse. + +02:17:40.857 --> 02:17:42.233 +That's interesting. + +02:17:42.319 --> 02:17:44.570 +You know nothing of hell. + +02:17:53.244 --> 02:17:55.245 +That's very interesting. + +02:18:30.699 --> 02:18:33.242 +I didn't know we was takin' on captives. + +02:18:33.327 --> 02:18:36.371 +She's invoked the right of parley +with Captain Barbossa. + +02:18:36.455 --> 02:18:40.290 +- I am here to negotia... +- You will speak when spoken to! + +02:18:41.293 --> 02:18:43.378 +And ye will not lay a hand on those + +02:18:43.420 --> 02:18:45.838 +under the protection of parley. + +02:18:46.465 --> 02:18:47.632 +Aye, sir. + +02:18:50.344 --> 02:18:52.262 +My apologies, miss. + +02:18:53.347 --> 02:18:54.681 +Captain Barbossa, + +02:18:54.723 --> 02:18:59.144 +I am here to negotiate the cessation +of hostilities against Port Royal. + +02:19:00.229 --> 02:19:04.274 +A lot of long words in there, miss. +We are naught but humble pirates. + +02:19:05.359 --> 02:19:06.944 +What is it that you want? + +02:19:07.028 --> 02:19:09.320 +I want you to leave +and never come back. + +02:19:11.782 --> 02:19:14.409 +I'm disinclined +to acquiesce to your request. + +02:19:15.995 --> 02:19:18.328 +Means "no." + +02:19:19.748 --> 02:19:20.748 +Very well. + +02:19:23.460 --> 02:19:25.336 +I'll drop it. + +02:19:29.383 --> 02:19:34.011 +Me holds are burstin' with swag! +That bit of shine matters to us? + +02:19:34.095 --> 02:19:35.138 +Why? + +02:19:36.265 --> 02:19:38.558 +It's what you've been searching for. + +02:19:38.601 --> 02:19:40.267 +I recognize the ship. + +02:19:40.351 --> 02:19:43.228 +I saw it eight years ago +on the crossing from England! + +02:19:43.271 --> 02:19:44.440 +Did you now? + +02:19:47.442 --> 02:19:48.442 +Fine. + +02:19:49.444 --> 02:19:51.029 +I suppose if it is worthless, + +02:19:51.113 --> 02:19:52.947 +then there's no point in me keeping it. + +02:19:52.990 --> 02:19:54.282 +No! + +02:20:05.210 --> 02:20:07.294 +You have a name, missy? + +02:20:08.420 --> 02:20:09.463 +Elizabeth... + +02:20:09.547 --> 02:20:10.881 +...Turner. + +02:20:12.008 --> 02:20:14.093 +I'm a maid in the governor's household. + +02:20:17.388 --> 02:20:18.806 +Miss Turner! + +02:20:20.017 --> 02:20:21.266 +Turner! + +02:20:21.309 --> 02:20:22.726 +Bootstrap! + +02:20:26.773 --> 02:20:29.441 +And how does a maid come +to own a trinket such as that? + +02:20:29.484 --> 02:20:32.069 +Family heirloom, perhaps? + +02:20:32.153 --> 02:20:34.656 +I didn't steal it, +if that's what you mean. + +02:20:36.242 --> 02:20:39.325 +Very well. You hand it over, +we'll put your town to our rudder, + +02:20:39.409 --> 02:20:40.619 +and ne'er return. + +02:20:54.342 --> 02:20:55.341 +Our bargain? + +02:20:58.346 --> 02:21:00.181 +Still the guns and stow 'em. + +02:21:00.224 --> 02:21:03.059 +Signal the men, set the flags +and make good to clear port. + +02:21:03.143 --> 02:21:04.851 +Wait! You have to take me to shore. + +02:21:04.894 --> 02:21:07.521 +According to the code of +the order of the Brethren... + +02:21:07.605 --> 02:21:11.275 +Your return to shore was not part +of our negotiations nor our agreements, + +02:21:11.359 --> 02:21:12.527 +so I must do nothin'. + +02:21:12.611 --> 02:21:15.697 +Secondly, you must be a pirate +for the pirate's code to apply, + +02:21:15.739 --> 02:21:17.364 +and you're not, and thirdly... + +02:21:17.407 --> 02:21:20.159 +...the code is more of what +you'd call a guideline, + +02:21:20.202 --> 02:21:21.702 +instead of actual rules. + +02:21:21.744 --> 02:21:24.161 +Welcome aboard the Black Pearl, + +02:21:24.204 --> 02:21:25.706 +Miss Turner. + +02:21:46.393 --> 02:21:48.811 +They've taken her! +They've taken Elizabeth! + +02:21:48.895 --> 02:21:50.983 +Mr. Murtogg, remove this man. + +02:21:52.066 --> 02:21:54.151 +We have to hunt them down! +We must save her! + +02:21:54.235 --> 02:21:56.276 +And where do you propose we start? + +02:21:57.531 --> 02:22:01.198 +If you have any information concerning +my daughter, please share it. + +02:22:03.494 --> 02:22:05.245 +That Jack Sparrow! + +02:22:05.330 --> 02:22:07.582 +He talked about the Black Pearl. + +02:22:07.624 --> 02:22:09.541 +Mentioned it is more what he did. + +02:22:11.126 --> 02:22:14.254 +Ask him where it is! Make a deal +with him, he could lead us to it. + +02:22:14.297 --> 02:22:15.797 +No. + +02:22:15.882 --> 02:22:19.176 +The pirates who invaded this fort +left Sparrow locked in his cell, + +02:22:19.260 --> 02:22:22.261 +ergo they are not his allies. + +02:22:22.304 --> 02:22:25.307 +Governor, we will establish +their most likely course... + +02:22:25.391 --> 02:22:27.267 +That's not good enough! + +02:22:27.310 --> 02:22:29.269 +Mr. Turner... + +02:22:29.312 --> 02:22:32.856 +...you are not a military man, +you are not a sailor. + +02:22:33.898 --> 02:22:35.276 +You are a blacksmith. + +02:22:35.319 --> 02:22:38.153 +And this is not the moment +for rash actions! + +02:22:40.448 --> 02:22:43.449 +Do not make the mistake of thinking +you are the only man here + +02:22:43.533 --> 02:22:45.036 +who cares for Elizabeth. + +02:22:51.042 --> 02:22:52.792 +Please... + +02:22:57.172 --> 02:22:58.382 +You! Sparrow! + +02:22:58.466 --> 02:22:59.466 +Aye? + +02:22:59.509 --> 02:23:02.134 +You are familiar with that ship, +the Black Pearl? + +02:23:02.177 --> 02:23:03.552 +I've heard of it. + +02:23:03.637 --> 02:23:06.306 +Where does it make berth? + +02:23:07.308 --> 02:23:09.266 +Have you not heard the stories? + +02:23:10.977 --> 02:23:12.938 +Captain Barbossa + +02:23:12.980 --> 02:23:14.731 +and his crew of miscreants + +02:23:14.816 --> 02:23:17.401 +sail from the dreaded Isla de Muerte. + +02:23:17.485 --> 02:23:20.279 +It's an island that +cannot be found, except + +02:23:20.322 --> 02:23:23.406 +by those who already know where it is. + +02:23:23.490 --> 02:23:25.157 +The ship's real enough, + +02:23:25.200 --> 02:23:28.661 +therefore its anchorage must be +a real place. Where is it? + +02:23:29.664 --> 02:23:30.831 +Why ask me? + +02:23:31.499 --> 02:23:33.083 +Because you're a pirate. + +02:23:33.166 --> 02:23:35.836 +And you want to turn +pirate yourself. ls that it? + +02:23:37.087 --> 02:23:38.088 +Never! + +02:23:41.841 --> 02:23:43.510 +They took Miss Swann. + +02:23:43.553 --> 02:23:45.387 +Oh. So it is that you found a girl! + +02:23:45.471 --> 02:23:47.263 +I see. + +02:23:47.347 --> 02:23:50.101 +If you're intending to brave all, +hasten to her rescue, + +02:23:50.185 --> 02:23:52.144 +and so win fair lady's heart... + +02:23:52.186 --> 02:23:54.813 +...you'll have to do it alone, mate. + +02:23:54.856 --> 02:23:56.939 +I see no profit in it for me. + +02:23:58.024 --> 02:23:59.276 +I can get you out of here. + +02:23:59.360 --> 02:24:01.026 +How's that? The key's run off. + +02:24:01.069 --> 02:24:02.695 +I helped build these cells. + +02:24:02.779 --> 02:24:05.532 +These are half-pin barrel hinges. + +02:24:06.826 --> 02:24:10.119 +With the right leverage, +and the proper application of strength, + +02:24:11.246 --> 02:24:12.664 +the door will lift free. + +02:24:15.042 --> 02:24:16.292 +What's your name? + +02:24:16.376 --> 02:24:18.294 +Will Turner. + +02:24:19.588 --> 02:24:21.923 +That would be short for William, +I imagine. + +02:24:22.008 --> 02:24:23.174 +Good, strong name. + +02:24:24.176 --> 02:24:26.092 +No doubt named for your father? + +02:24:27.723 --> 02:24:28.804 +Yes. + +02:24:28.889 --> 02:24:30.806 +Uh-huh. + +02:24:31.683 --> 02:24:33.017 +Well, Mr. Turner, + +02:24:33.058 --> 02:24:34.268 +I've changed me mind. + +02:24:34.937 --> 02:24:37.938 +If you spring me from this cell, +I swear, on pain of death, + +02:24:38.023 --> 02:24:40.232 +I shall take you to the Black Pearl, + +02:24:40.275 --> 02:24:41.942 +and your bonny lass. + +02:24:42.028 --> 02:24:44.029 +Do we have an accord? + +02:24:47.532 --> 02:24:49.366 +- Agreed. +- Agreed. + +02:24:49.409 --> 02:24:50.576 +Get me out. + +02:24:54.080 --> 02:24:57.875 +- Hurry! Someone will have heard that. +- Not without my effects. + +02:25:04.466 --> 02:25:05.966 +We're going to steal the ship? + +02:25:07.761 --> 02:25:08.761 +That ship? + +02:25:08.845 --> 02:25:10.677 +Commandeer. + +02:25:10.762 --> 02:25:13.015 +We're going to commandeer that ship. + +02:25:13.099 --> 02:25:14.184 +Nautical term. + +02:25:14.853 --> 02:25:16.936 +One question about your business, boy, + +02:25:17.020 --> 02:25:18.437 +or there's no use going. + +02:25:18.522 --> 02:25:20.021 +This girl... + +02:25:20.105 --> 02:25:22.815 +...how far are you willing to go +to save her? + +02:25:22.900 --> 02:25:24.236 +I'd die for her. + +02:25:24.278 --> 02:25:25.485 +Oh, good. + +02:25:25.569 --> 02:25:27.571 +No worries then. + +02:25:46.592 --> 02:25:49.134 +This is either madness or brilliance. + +02:25:49.929 --> 02:25:53.556 +It's remarkable how often +those two traits coincide. + +02:26:23.210 --> 02:26:27.006 +Everyone stay calm! +We're taking over the ship. + +02:26:27.090 --> 02:26:28.799 +Aye! Avast! + +02:26:32.012 --> 02:26:34.346 +This ship cannot be crewed by two men. + +02:26:35.223 --> 02:26:37.018 +You'll never make it out of the bay. + +02:26:37.059 --> 02:26:38.684 +Son... + +02:26:39.726 --> 02:26:42.562 +...I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. + +02:26:42.646 --> 02:26:44.190 +Savvy? + +02:26:47.693 --> 02:26:48.693 +Commodore! + +02:26:48.736 --> 02:26:51.362 +- Sir! +- They're taking the Dauntless! + +02:26:53.034 --> 02:26:54.116 +Commodore! + +02:26:54.200 --> 02:26:56.535 +They're taking the ship! + +02:26:57.287 --> 02:26:59.872 +Sparrow and Turner! +They're taking the Dauntless! + +02:26:59.914 --> 02:27:01.372 +Rash, Turner. + +02:27:01.457 --> 02:27:03.041 +Too rash. + +02:27:04.585 --> 02:27:08.798 +That is, without doubt, +the worst pirate I have ever seen. + +02:27:12.094 --> 02:27:13.385 +Here they come. + +02:27:18.224 --> 02:27:20.475 +Bring her around! +Bring her around! + +02:27:27.024 --> 02:27:30.194 +Search every cabin, every hold, +down to the bilges. + +02:27:43.333 --> 02:27:46.126 +Check the aft! + +02:27:46.211 --> 02:27:48.586 +Sailors, back to the Interceptor! +Now! + +02:27:48.629 --> 02:27:50.005 +Quickly, men + +02:27:51.383 --> 02:27:52.674 +Whoa! + +02:27:55.093 --> 02:27:59.015 +Thank you, commodore, +for getting us ready to make way. + +02:27:59.099 --> 02:28:01.683 +We'd have had a hard time +of it by ourselves. + +02:28:04.938 --> 02:28:06.979 +Set topsails and clear up this mess. + +02:28:07.064 --> 02:28:09.607 +With the wind a quarter astern, +we won't catch them! + +02:28:09.692 --> 02:28:12.611 +I don't need to. Just get them +in range of the long nines. + +02:28:12.696 --> 02:28:14.779 +Hands, come about! Run out the guns! + +02:28:14.822 --> 02:28:16.198 +Bring out the guns! + +02:28:16.282 --> 02:28:18.867 +We are to fire on our own ship, sir? + +02:28:18.951 --> 02:28:22.787 +I'd rather see her at the bottom of the +ocean than in the hands of a pirate. + +02:28:24.081 --> 02:28:27.417 +Commodore! He's disabled +the rudder chain, sir. + +02:28:31.130 --> 02:28:33.131 +Abandon ship! + +02:28:36.969 --> 02:28:39.386 +Let go the gear +and sheet home. + +02:28:39.471 --> 02:28:41.931 +That's got to be the best pirate +I've ever seen. + +02:28:43.143 --> 02:28:45.769 +So it would seem. + +02:28:54.236 --> 02:28:56.319 +When I was a lad, +living in England, + +02:28:56.404 --> 02:28:58.281 +my mother raised me by herself. + +02:28:58.366 --> 02:29:00.324 +After she died, I came out here, + +02:29:00.409 --> 02:29:02.243 +looking for my father. + +02:29:03.703 --> 02:29:04.829 +Is that so? + +02:29:06.040 --> 02:29:07.582 +My father, + +02:29:07.666 --> 02:29:09.041 +Bill Turner? + +02:29:09.126 --> 02:29:12.713 +At the jail, it was only after you +learned my name that you agreed to help. + +02:29:12.797 --> 02:29:15.506 +Since that's what I wanted, +I didn't press the matter. + +02:29:15.549 --> 02:29:17.132 +I'm not a simpleton, Jack. + +02:29:17.175 --> 02:29:19.176 +You knew my father. + +02:29:25.350 --> 02:29:26.391 +I knew him. + +02:29:26.476 --> 02:29:29.395 +Probably one of the few +who knew him as William Turner. + +02:29:29.480 --> 02:29:32.899 +Everyone else just called him +"Bootstrap," or "Bootstrap Bill." + +02:29:32.982 --> 02:29:33.982 +Bootstrap? + +02:29:34.986 --> 02:29:37.403 +Good man. +Good pirate. + +02:29:37.488 --> 02:29:39.573 +I swear, you look just like him. + +02:29:39.657 --> 02:29:40.698 +It's not true. + +02:29:40.741 --> 02:29:42.534 +He was a merchant sailor. + +02:29:42.619 --> 02:29:44.869 +A good, respectable man +who obeyed the law. + +02:29:44.953 --> 02:29:47.120 +He was a bloody pirate, a scallywag. + +02:29:48.498 --> 02:29:51.209 +My father was not a pirate! + +02:29:52.377 --> 02:29:54.377 +Put it away, son. + +02:29:54.462 --> 02:29:56.379 +It's not worth you getting beat again. + +02:29:56.464 --> 02:29:57.591 +You didn't beat me. + +02:29:57.675 --> 02:30:01.010 +You ignored the rules of engagement. +In a fair fight, I'd kill you. + +02:30:01.052 --> 02:30:03.887 +That's not much incentive +for me to fight fair, is it? + +02:30:11.229 --> 02:30:14.483 +Now as long as you're just +hanging there, pay attention. + +02:30:14.567 --> 02:30:17.068 +The only rules +that really matter are these: + +02:30:17.153 --> 02:30:21.030 +What a man can do, +and what a man can't do. + +02:30:21.740 --> 02:30:22.907 +For instance, + +02:30:22.991 --> 02:30:26.117 +you can accept that your father +was a pirate and a good man, + +02:30:26.202 --> 02:30:27.245 +or you can't. + +02:30:27.287 --> 02:30:30.832 +Pirate is in your blood, boy, so +you'll have to square with that someday. + +02:30:31.707 --> 02:30:33.875 +Now, me, for example. +I could let you drown, + +02:30:33.918 --> 02:30:38.421 +but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga +all by me onesies. Savvy? + +02:30:38.756 --> 02:30:39.757 +So... + +02:30:44.804 --> 02:30:48.139 +Can you sail under +the command of a pirate? + +02:30:49.394 --> 02:30:50.725 +Or can you not? + +02:30:53.437 --> 02:30:54.479 +Tortuga? + +02:30:54.565 --> 02:30:56.314 +Tortuga. + +02:31:18.378 --> 02:31:20.798 +More importantly, it is indeed + +02:31:20.841 --> 02:31:22.717 +a sad life that has never +breathed deep + +02:31:22.801 --> 02:31:25.968 +the sweet, proliferous bouquet +that is Tortuga. Savvy? + +02:31:27.723 --> 02:31:28.847 +What do you think? + +02:31:33.144 --> 02:31:34.228 +It'll linger. + +02:31:34.313 --> 02:31:38.315 +I'll tell you, mate, if every town +in the world were like this one, + +02:31:38.399 --> 02:31:40.859 +no man would ever feel unwanted. + +02:31:42.821 --> 02:31:43.905 +Scarlett! + +02:31:45.824 --> 02:31:47.157 +Not sure I deserved that. + +02:31:48.951 --> 02:31:50.119 +Giselle! + +02:31:50.162 --> 02:31:51.160 +Who was she? + +02:31:51.244 --> 02:31:52.246 +What? + +02:31:54.540 --> 02:31:55.832 +I may have deserved that. + +02:31:58.086 --> 02:32:01.212 +Curse you for breathing, +you slack-jawed idiot! + +02:32:03.548 --> 02:32:05.675 +Mother's love! + +02:32:05.760 --> 02:32:06.760 +Jack! + +02:32:07.762 --> 02:32:10.890 +You should know better than to +wake a man when he's sleepin'. + +02:32:10.974 --> 02:32:14.852 +- It's bad luck. +- Fortunately, I know how to counter it. + +02:32:14.937 --> 02:32:18.229 +The man who did the waking buys +the man who was sleeping a drink, + +02:32:18.314 --> 02:32:21.733 +and the man who was sleeping drinks +it while listening to a proposition + +02:32:21.817 --> 02:32:23.526 +from the man who did the waking. + +02:32:25.695 --> 02:32:27.531 +Aye, that'll about do it. + +02:32:32.370 --> 02:32:34.622 +Blast! I'm already awake! + +02:32:34.706 --> 02:32:36.081 +That was for the smell. + +02:32:39.377 --> 02:32:40.376 +Eh... + +02:32:46.551 --> 02:32:48.050 +Keep a sharp eye. + +02:32:55.183 --> 02:32:56.267 +Now... + +02:32:56.352 --> 02:32:58.813 +...what's the nature +of this venture of your'n? + +02:33:00.647 --> 02:33:05.069 +I'm going after the Black Pearl. + +02:33:06.570 --> 02:33:08.071 +I know where it's going to be, + +02:33:08.115 --> 02:33:09.905 +and I'm gonna take it. + +02:33:10.949 --> 02:33:11.951 +Jack, + +02:33:12.035 --> 02:33:14.327 +it's a fool's errand! + +02:33:14.412 --> 02:33:17.748 +Well, you know better than me +the tales of the Black Pearl! + +02:33:17.791 --> 02:33:20.333 +That's why I know +what Barbossa is up to. + +02:33:20.919 --> 02:33:22.252 +All I need is a crew. + +02:33:22.962 --> 02:33:24.962 +What I hear tell of Captain Barbossa, + +02:33:25.046 --> 02:33:28.049 +he's not a man to suffer fools, +nor strike a bargain with one! + +02:33:28.092 --> 02:33:30.300 +I'd say it's a good thing +I'm not a fool then. + +02:33:30.386 --> 02:33:31.511 +Prove me wrong! + +02:33:32.177 --> 02:33:35.516 +What makes you think Barbossa +will give up his ship to you? + +02:33:35.600 --> 02:33:38.935 +Let's just say +it's a matter of leverage, eh? + +02:33:42.314 --> 02:33:43.606 +Hm? + +02:33:45.776 --> 02:33:46.818 +Mm. + +02:33:46.902 --> 02:33:48.277 +Huh? + +02:33:48.319 --> 02:33:49.446 +Hm... + +02:33:49.530 --> 02:33:50.530 +Mm-hm-hm. + +02:33:55.161 --> 02:33:56.161 +The kid? + +02:33:57.747 --> 02:34:00.749 +That is the child +of Bootstrap Bill Turner. + +02:34:01.834 --> 02:34:04.295 +His only child. Savvy? + +02:34:04.379 --> 02:34:06.296 +Is he now? + +02:34:09.259 --> 02:34:11.635 +Leverage, says you. + +02:34:11.719 --> 02:34:14.304 +I think I feel +a change in the wind, says I. + +02:34:14.387 --> 02:34:16.139 +- Mm. +- I'll find us a crew. + +02:34:16.182 --> 02:34:19.099 +There's bound to be some sailors +on this rock, crazy as you. + +02:34:19.143 --> 02:34:21.519 +One can only hope. + +02:34:21.604 --> 02:34:24.353 +- Take what you can! +- Give nothin' back! + +02:34:49.214 --> 02:34:51.007 +You'll be dining with the captain, + +02:34:51.050 --> 02:34:53.426 +and he requests you wear this. + +02:34:54.385 --> 02:34:57.972 +Tell the captain I'm "disinclined +to acquiesce to his request." + +02:34:59.140 --> 02:35:01.392 +He said you'd say that. + +02:35:01.477 --> 02:35:03.853 +He also said, if that be the case... + +02:35:03.938 --> 02:35:05.687 +...you'll be dining with the crew, + +02:35:05.730 --> 02:35:07.565 +and you'll be naked. + +02:35:13.989 --> 02:35:15.114 +Fine. + +02:35:31.756 --> 02:35:35.344 +There's no need to stand on ceremony +no call to impress anyone. + +02:35:35.387 --> 02:35:37.762 +You must be hungry. + +02:35:55.196 --> 02:35:56.404 +Try the wine. + +02:36:01.244 --> 02:36:04.246 +And the apples. One of those next. + +02:36:12.547 --> 02:36:14.214 +It's poisoned. + +02:36:15.758 --> 02:36:18.093 +There would be no sense +to be killing you. + +02:36:18.136 --> 02:36:21.596 +Then release me. You have your trinket. +I'm of no further value to you. + +02:36:25.603 --> 02:36:27.644 +You don't know what this is, + +02:36:27.729 --> 02:36:29.105 +do you? + +02:36:29.190 --> 02:36:31.439 +It's a pirate medallion. + +02:36:31.481 --> 02:36:33.566 +This is Aztec gold. + +02:36:34.444 --> 02:36:37.236 +One of 882 identical pieces + +02:36:37.279 --> 02:36:40.866 +they delivered in a stone chest +to Cortés himself. + +02:36:41.952 --> 02:36:46.163 +Blood money paid to stem the slaughter +he wreaked upon them with his armies. + +02:36:46.247 --> 02:36:50.083 +But the greed of Cortés was insatiable. + +02:36:50.126 --> 02:36:53.627 +So the heathen gods +placed upon the gold... + +02:36:55.507 --> 02:36:57.133 +...a terrible curse. + +02:36:58.760 --> 02:37:03.012 +Any mortal that removes but +a single piece from that stone chest... + +02:37:04.015 --> 02:37:06.474 +...shall be punished for eternity. + +02:37:08.769 --> 02:37:12.147 +I hardly believe in ghost stories +any more, Captain Barbossa. + +02:37:12.232 --> 02:37:13.483 +Aye. + +02:37:14.276 --> 02:37:17.819 +That's exactly what I thought +when we were first told the tale. + +02:37:17.862 --> 02:37:20.781 +Buried on an Isle of the Dead +what cannot be found, + +02:37:20.823 --> 02:37:22.700 +except for those who know where it is. + +02:37:24.409 --> 02:37:25.743 +Find it, we did. + +02:37:27.413 --> 02:37:28.746 +There be the chest. + +02:37:28.830 --> 02:37:30.625 +Inside be the gold. + +02:37:31.583 --> 02:37:34.001 +And we took 'em all! + +02:37:34.045 --> 02:37:36.046 +We spent 'em and traded 'em, + +02:37:36.130 --> 02:37:37.798 +and frittered 'em away + +02:37:37.840 --> 02:37:40.591 +on drink and food +and pleasurable company. + +02:37:40.675 --> 02:37:42.678 +The more we gave 'em away, + +02:37:42.720 --> 02:37:45.389 +the more we came to realize... + +02:37:46.683 --> 02:37:48.850 +...the drink would not satisfy. + +02:37:50.103 --> 02:37:52.854 +Food turned to ash in our mouths... + +02:37:53.522 --> 02:37:56.107 +...and all the pleasurable company +in the world + +02:37:56.191 --> 02:37:58.193 +could not slake our lust. + +02:38:00.071 --> 02:38:02.864 +We are cursed men, Miss Turner. + +02:38:04.618 --> 02:38:07.287 +Compelled by greed we were, but now... + +02:38:07.371 --> 02:38:10.705 +...we are consumed by it. + +02:38:21.884 --> 02:38:24.802 +There is one way we can end our curse. + +02:38:28.891 --> 02:38:31.851 +All the scattered pieces +of the Aztec gold + +02:38:31.893 --> 02:38:33.311 +must be restored, + +02:38:33.395 --> 02:38:35.814 +and the blood repaid. + +02:38:38.568 --> 02:38:39.943 +Thanks to ye, + +02:38:40.028 --> 02:38:42.155 +we have the final piece. + +02:38:44.198 --> 02:38:46.490 +And the... blood to be repaid? + +02:38:46.575 --> 02:38:49.077 +That's why there's no sense +to be killing ya. + +02:38:49.871 --> 02:38:50.870 +Yet. + +02:38:52.914 --> 02:38:54.416 +Apple? + +02:38:56.962 --> 02:38:59.421 +Ha-ha. Hah! + +02:38:59.464 --> 02:39:02.381 +Arrgh! + +02:39:02.424 --> 02:39:03.967 +No! + +02:39:11.267 --> 02:39:12.267 +I'm curious. + +02:39:12.352 --> 02:39:15.269 +After killing me, what is it +you're planning on doing next? + +02:40:18.835 --> 02:40:21.044 +Look! + +02:40:21.129 --> 02:40:24.047 +The moonlight shows us +for what we really are. + +02:40:24.839 --> 02:40:28.093 +We are not among the living +and so we cannot die. + +02:40:28.177 --> 02:40:29.843 +But neither are we dead. + +02:40:31.096 --> 02:40:34.891 +For too long I've been parched of thirst +and unable to quench it. + +02:40:34.976 --> 02:40:37.351 +Too long I've been starvin' to death, + +02:40:37.436 --> 02:40:39.061 +and haven't died! + +02:40:39.687 --> 02:40:41.481 +I feel nothing. + +02:40:42.274 --> 02:40:45.192 +Not the wind on my face, +nor the spray of the sea... + +02:40:46.611 --> 02:40:48.778 +...nor the warmth of a woman's flesh. + +02:40:49.781 --> 02:40:54.286 +You best start believing +in ghost stories, Miss Turner. + +02:40:54.370 --> 02:40:55.368 +You're in one! + +02:41:14.430 --> 02:41:16.390 +What are you looking at? +Back to work! + +02:41:25.609 --> 02:41:27.276 +Feast your eyes, captain. + +02:41:27.360 --> 02:41:30.278 +All of them, +faithful hands before the mast. + +02:41:30.362 --> 02:41:33.573 +Every man worth his salt... + +02:41:33.616 --> 02:41:35.659 +...and crazy to boot. + +02:41:35.744 --> 02:41:38.579 +So this is your able-bodied crew? + +02:41:44.419 --> 02:41:45.419 +You, sailor! + +02:41:45.504 --> 02:41:46.879 +Cotton, sir. + +02:41:46.922 --> 02:41:48.713 +Mr. Cotton. + +02:41:48.756 --> 02:41:52.091 +Do you have the courage and fortitude +to follow orders and stay true + +02:41:52.176 --> 02:41:53.761 +in the face of danger and death? + +02:41:53.803 --> 02:41:55.512 +Mr. Cotton! + +02:41:55.595 --> 02:41:56.722 +Answer, man! + +02:41:56.765 --> 02:41:58.182 +He's a mute, sir. + +02:41:58.266 --> 02:41:59.976 +Poor devil had his tongue cut out. + +02:42:00.061 --> 02:42:02.101 +So he trained the parrot +to talk for him. + +02:42:02.186 --> 02:42:04.064 +No one's yet figured how. + +02:42:07.274 --> 02:42:08.901 +Mr. Cotton's parrot. + +02:42:09.902 --> 02:42:11.403 +Same question. + +02:42:11.446 --> 02:42:14.198 +- Wind in your sails. +- Wind in your sails. + +02:42:15.326 --> 02:42:17.408 +Mostly, we figure that means "yes." + +02:42:17.451 --> 02:42:18.955 +Of course it does. + +02:42:19.037 --> 02:42:20.037 +Satisfied? + +02:42:20.997 --> 02:42:22.998 +Well, you've proved they're mad! + +02:42:23.083 --> 02:42:24.959 +And what's the benefit for us? + +02:42:35.470 --> 02:42:36.553 +Anamaria! + +02:42:38.473 --> 02:42:40.808 +I suppose you didn't deserve +that one, either. + +02:42:40.892 --> 02:42:42.809 +No, that one I deserved. + +02:42:42.851 --> 02:42:44.603 +You stole my boat! + +02:42:44.646 --> 02:42:45.728 +Actually... + +02:42:47.816 --> 02:42:50.192 +Borrowed. Borrowed, without permission, + +02:42:50.278 --> 02:42:52.860 +but with every intention +of bringing it back to you. + +02:42:52.945 --> 02:42:54.362 +But you didn't! + +02:42:54.446 --> 02:42:55.822 +You'll get another one! + +02:42:57.200 --> 02:42:58.200 +I will! + +02:42:58.285 --> 02:42:59.659 +A better one. + +02:42:59.743 --> 02:43:01.660 +A better one! + +02:43:01.744 --> 02:43:03.330 +- That one! +- What one? + +02:43:06.042 --> 02:43:07.209 +That one? + +02:43:10.671 --> 02:43:12.381 +Aye. That one. + +02:43:12.465 --> 02:43:14.048 +- What say you? +- Aye! + +02:43:14.133 --> 02:43:15.508 +Aye! + +02:43:15.593 --> 02:43:17.593 +Anchors away! + +02:43:17.677 --> 02:43:19.887 +No, no, no, no, no! +It's frightful bad luck + +02:43:19.972 --> 02:43:21.473 +to bring a woman aboard, sir. + +02:43:21.516 --> 02:43:24.183 +It'll be far worse not to have her. + +02:43:57.886 --> 02:44:00.928 +How can we sail to an island +that nobody can find, + +02:44:01.013 --> 02:44:03.473 +with a compass that doesn't work? + +02:44:03.557 --> 02:44:05.517 +Aye, the compass doesn't point north, + +02:44:05.560 --> 02:44:08.393 +but we're not trying +to find north, are we? + +02:44:19.073 --> 02:44:21.449 +We should drop canvas, sir. + +02:44:21.533 --> 02:44:23.575 +She can hold a bit longer. + +02:44:25.787 --> 02:44:29.333 +What's in your head that's put you +in such a fine mood, captain? + +02:44:29.417 --> 02:44:31.417 +We're catching up. + +02:44:46.434 --> 02:44:48.434 +Time to go, poppet. + +02:45:43.991 --> 02:45:48.410 +Dead men tell no tales... + +02:45:50.955 --> 02:45:53.624 +Puts a chill in the bones, +how many honest sailors + +02:45:53.667 --> 02:45:55.500 +have been claimed by this passage. + +02:46:10.975 --> 02:46:13.351 +How is it that Jack +came by that compass? + +02:46:13.394 --> 02:46:16.605 +Not a lot's known about Jack Sparrow +'fore he showed up in Tortuga + +02:46:16.689 --> 02:46:19.358 +with a mind to go after +the treasure of Isla de Muerte. + +02:46:19.443 --> 02:46:20.692 +That was before I met him, + +02:46:20.777 --> 02:46:22.943 +back when he was captain +of the Black Pearl. + +02:46:23.821 --> 02:46:24.822 +What? + +02:46:28.494 --> 02:46:29.952 +He failed to mention that. + +02:46:30.036 --> 02:46:32.287 +He plays things closer to the vest now. + +02:46:32.371 --> 02:46:34.457 +And a hard-learned lesson it was. + +02:46:34.541 --> 02:46:37.418 +Three days out on the venture, +the first mate says, + +02:46:37.502 --> 02:46:40.587 +"Everything's an equal share. +That should mean the location + +02:46:40.671 --> 02:46:44.050 +of the treasure too," +so Jack gives up the bearings. + +02:46:44.218 --> 02:46:46.385 +That night, there was a mutiny. + +02:46:47.428 --> 02:46:50.097 +They marooned Jack on an island +and left him to die. + +02:46:50.182 --> 02:46:52.850 +But not before he'd +gone mad with the heat. + +02:46:54.560 --> 02:46:56.229 +Ah... + +02:46:56.939 --> 02:46:59.358 +So that's the reason for all the... + +02:47:01.400 --> 02:47:03.109 +Reason's got nothing to do with it. + +02:47:04.071 --> 02:47:06.239 +Now, Will, when a pirate's marooned, + +02:47:06.323 --> 02:47:09.075 +he's given a pistol with a single shot. +One shot... + +02:47:09.117 --> 02:47:12.452 +Well, that won't do much good hunting, +nor to be rescued. + +02:47:12.537 --> 02:47:15.748 +But after three weeks +of a starving belly and thirst, + +02:47:15.791 --> 02:47:19.168 +that pistol starts to look +real friendly. + +02:47:19.253 --> 02:47:21.254 +But Jack, he escaped the island, + +02:47:21.338 --> 02:47:22.921 +and still has that single shot. + +02:47:23.005 --> 02:47:25.590 +Oh, he won't use it, though, +save on one man. + +02:47:26.592 --> 02:47:28.635 +His mutinous first mate. + +02:47:28.719 --> 02:47:30.679 +- Barbossa. +- Aye. + +02:47:31.931 --> 02:47:34.892 +- How did Jack get off the island? +- Well, I'll tell ye. + +02:47:34.935 --> 02:47:37.062 +He waded out into the shallows, + +02:47:37.105 --> 02:47:39.688 +and he waited there three days +and three nights, + +02:47:39.773 --> 02:47:43.609 +till all manner of sea creatures +came acclimated to his presence. + +02:47:44.610 --> 02:47:46.153 +And on the fourth morning, + +02:47:46.238 --> 02:47:50.366 +he roped a couple of sea turtles, +lashed them together and made a raft. + +02:47:52.619 --> 02:47:55.035 +- He roped a couple of sea turtles. +- Aye. + +02:47:55.120 --> 02:47:56.414 +Sea turtles! + +02:47:58.667 --> 02:48:00.667 +What did he use for rope? + +02:48:05.632 --> 02:48:07.215 +Human hair. + +02:48:08.217 --> 02:48:09.634 +From my back. + +02:48:10.802 --> 02:48:12.179 +Let go the anchor! + +02:48:12.264 --> 02:48:14.639 +Lower the anchor line! + +02:48:14.724 --> 02:48:17.141 +Young Mr. Turner and I are to go ashore. + +02:48:17.767 --> 02:48:18.895 +Captain. + +02:48:18.979 --> 02:48:20.687 +What if the worst should happen? + +02:48:21.565 --> 02:48:24.066 +- Keep to the code. +- Aye. The code. + +02:48:49.885 --> 02:48:51.051 +Move. + +02:48:51.135 --> 02:48:53.136 +Ten years of hoarding swag! + +02:48:53.179 --> 02:48:55.679 +And now we finally get to spend it! + +02:48:58.518 --> 02:48:59.518 +Oh. + +02:49:03.022 --> 02:49:05.816 +Once we're quit of the curse, +we'll be rich men... + +02:49:06.526 --> 02:49:10.235 +...and you can buy an eye what +actually fits and is made of glass. + +02:49:10.320 --> 02:49:13.240 +This one does splinter +something terrible! + +02:49:13.325 --> 02:49:15.534 +Stop rubbing it! + +02:49:16.660 --> 02:49:17.786 +Oh! + +02:49:35.179 --> 02:49:38.223 +What code is Gibbs to keep to +if the worst should happen? + +02:49:38.265 --> 02:49:40.557 +The pirates' code. + +02:49:40.643 --> 02:49:42.059 +Any man who falls behind... + +02:49:42.102 --> 02:49:44.436 +...is left behind. + +02:49:45.773 --> 02:49:48.066 +No heroes amongst thieves, eh? + +02:49:48.778 --> 02:49:51.861 +You know, for having +such a bleak outlook on pirates, + +02:49:51.904 --> 02:49:54.822 +you're well on your way +to becoming one. + +02:49:55.324 --> 02:49:56.908 +Sprung a man from jail... + +02:49:58.244 --> 02:50:00.744 +...commandeered a ship of the fleet, + +02:50:00.787 --> 02:50:03.331 +sailed with a buccaneer crew +out of Tortuga... + +02:50:05.501 --> 02:50:08.752 +...and you're completely +obsessed with treasure! + +02:50:11.507 --> 02:50:12.632 +That's not true. + +02:50:13.342 --> 02:50:15.092 +I am not obsessed with treasure. + +02:50:22.309 --> 02:50:25.060 +Not all treasure +is silver and gold, mate. + +02:50:25.103 --> 02:50:27.147 +Gentlemen, the time has come! + +02:50:27.231 --> 02:50:28.441 +Hurrah! + +02:50:28.525 --> 02:50:30.650 +Salvation is nigh! + +02:50:30.735 --> 02:50:32.151 +Yeah! + +02:50:32.235 --> 02:50:34.946 +- Our torment is near an end! +- Elizabeth. + +02:50:35.614 --> 02:50:38.491 +For ten years, +we've been tested and tried, + +02:50:38.575 --> 02:50:40.201 +and each man-jack of you here + +02:50:40.286 --> 02:50:43.288 +has proved his mettle 100 times over. + +02:50:43.330 --> 02:50:45.623 +And 100 times again! + +02:50:45.666 --> 02:50:47.750 +Yeah! + +02:50:47.792 --> 02:50:49.377 +Suffered, I have! + +02:50:50.128 --> 02:50:51.963 +Punished, we were, + +02:50:52.006 --> 02:50:53.547 +the lot of us, + +02:50:53.631 --> 02:50:56.967 +disproportionate to our crime! + +02:50:57.053 --> 02:50:58.845 +Right! + +02:50:58.929 --> 02:51:00.137 +Here it is! + +02:51:03.808 --> 02:51:07.437 +The cursed treasure of Cortés himself. + +02:51:09.438 --> 02:51:11.983 +Every last piece that went astray, + +02:51:12.026 --> 02:51:13.777 +we have returned. + +02:51:13.819 --> 02:51:15.527 +Save for this! + +02:51:15.612 --> 02:51:17.030 +- Yeah! +- Jack! + +02:51:17.114 --> 02:51:19.741 +Not yet! + +02:51:19.825 --> 02:51:22.326 +We'll wait for the opportune moment. + +02:51:22.410 --> 02:51:25.161 +...Despairing +of ever finding the lass. + +02:51:25.204 --> 02:51:27.041 +When's that? + +02:51:27.125 --> 02:51:29.834 +When it's of greatest profit to you? + +02:51:29.877 --> 02:51:31.210 +May I ask you something? + +02:51:32.587 --> 02:51:34.922 +Have I ever given you +reason not to trust me? + +02:51:36.300 --> 02:51:37.299 +Do us a favor. + +02:51:37.342 --> 02:51:39.468 +I know it's difficult for you, + +02:51:39.511 --> 02:51:41.553 +but please, stay here, + +02:51:41.638 --> 02:51:44.515 +and try not to do anything stupid. + +02:51:47.185 --> 02:51:49.687 +And who among us +has paid the blood sacrifice + +02:51:49.772 --> 02:51:52.023 +- owed to the heathen gods? +- Aye! + +02:51:52.108 --> 02:51:54.943 +And whose blood must yet be paid? + +02:51:55.027 --> 02:51:56.693 +Hers! + +02:51:58.863 --> 02:52:03.449 +You know the first thing I'm going +to do after the curse is lifted? + +02:52:05.787 --> 02:52:09.206 +Eat a whole bushel of apples! + +02:52:16.965 --> 02:52:18.966 +Begun by blood, + +02:52:19.050 --> 02:52:21.052 +by blood undone. + +02:52:25.514 --> 02:52:26.558 +Sorry, Jack. + +02:52:26.642 --> 02:52:29.183 +I'm not going to be your leverage. + +02:52:38.402 --> 02:52:40.570 +That's it? + +02:52:40.612 --> 02:52:42.282 +Waste not. + +02:53:20.278 --> 02:53:21.612 +Did it work? + +02:53:21.654 --> 02:53:24.531 +- I don't feel no different. +- How do we tell? + +02:53:31.622 --> 02:53:33.123 +You're not dead! + +02:53:34.167 --> 02:53:36.668 +No. + +02:53:36.753 --> 02:53:38.085 +He shot me! + +02:53:38.128 --> 02:53:41.673 +It didn't work! +The curse is still upon us! + +02:53:46.763 --> 02:53:49.224 +You! Maid! Your father, +what was his name? + +02:53:49.308 --> 02:53:51.558 +Was your father William Turner? + +02:53:51.893 --> 02:53:53.142 +No. + +02:53:53.185 --> 02:53:56.688 +Where's his child? The child that sailed +from England eight years ago? + +02:53:56.773 --> 02:53:59.816 +The child in whose veins flows +the blood of William Turner? + +02:53:59.900 --> 02:54:01.151 +Where? + +02:54:07.532 --> 02:54:08.700 +You two! + +02:54:09.825 --> 02:54:11.912 +- You brought us the wrong person! +- Yeah! + +02:54:12.871 --> 02:54:13.871 +No! + +02:54:14.625 --> 02:54:17.333 +She had the medallion! +She's the proper age! + +02:54:17.418 --> 02:54:20.045 +She said her name +was Turner. You heard her! + +02:54:21.923 --> 02:54:24.591 +- I think she lied to us! +- Yeah! + +02:54:25.842 --> 02:54:28.177 +You brought us here for nothing! + +02:54:28.220 --> 02:54:32.348 +I won't take questionin' or second +guesses, not from you, Mr. Twigg! + +02:54:32.391 --> 02:54:36.688 +Who's to blame him? Every decision +you made has led us from bad to worse! + +02:54:38.898 --> 02:54:41.483 +It was you who sent +Bootstrap to the depths! + +02:54:41.526 --> 02:54:42.525 +Yeah! + +02:54:45.320 --> 02:54:47.905 +And it's you who brought us +here in the first place! + +02:54:49.701 --> 02:54:52.368 +If any coward here dare challenge me, +let him speak! + +02:54:54.663 --> 02:54:56.581 +I say, we cut her throat, + +02:54:56.666 --> 02:54:58.291 +and spill all her blood! + +02:54:58.375 --> 02:54:59.376 +Just in case. + +02:54:59.419 --> 02:55:00.876 +- Yeah! +- Yeah! + +02:55:00.961 --> 02:55:03.504 +Yeah! + +02:55:09.469 --> 02:55:10.720 +The medallion! + +02:55:10.762 --> 02:55:12.055 +She's taken it! + +02:55:12.097 --> 02:55:16.601 +Get after her, +you feckless pack of ingrates! + +02:55:22.190 --> 02:55:25.192 +- Where's the oars? +- There's no oars! + +02:55:25.235 --> 02:55:28.071 +The oars have gone missing! +Find them! + +02:55:37.164 --> 02:55:38.915 +You! + +02:55:40.250 --> 02:55:41.918 +You're supposed to be dead! + +02:55:41.961 --> 02:55:43.295 +Am I not? + +02:55:45.255 --> 02:55:46.255 +Oh. + +02:55:53.347 --> 02:55:54.804 +Puh-la-lem. + +02:55:56.185 --> 02:55:58.435 +Puh-la-lie-lay-lool. + +02:56:01.022 --> 02:56:02.646 +Pah-lee-nee... + +02:56:02.731 --> 02:56:05.483 +...parsnip... par-sley... + +02:56:05.568 --> 02:56:07.568 +...par... partner, pardoner... + +02:56:07.611 --> 02:56:08.610 +Parley? + +02:56:08.694 --> 02:56:10.529 +That's the one! Parley! + +02:56:11.281 --> 02:56:12.282 +Parley! + +02:56:12.325 --> 02:56:13.617 +Parley?! + +02:56:14.868 --> 02:56:18.663 +Damn to the depths whatever +muttonhead thought up parley! + +02:56:20.290 --> 02:56:22.583 +That would be the French. + +02:56:34.388 --> 02:56:35.597 +Not more pirates! + +02:56:35.640 --> 02:56:37.681 +Welcome aboard, Miss Elizabeth. + +02:56:38.643 --> 02:56:39.849 +Mr. Gibbs? + +02:56:40.560 --> 02:56:41.852 +Hey, boy, where be Jack? + +02:56:42.979 --> 02:56:45.482 +Jack? Jack Sparrow? + +02:56:46.732 --> 02:56:48.234 +He fell behind. + +02:56:55.783 --> 02:56:57.327 +Keep to the code! + +02:56:58.578 --> 02:57:01.371 +- Weigh anchor! +- Hoist the sails! + +02:57:01.455 --> 02:57:03.124 +Split-quick, you dibbies! + +02:57:09.338 --> 02:57:12.383 +How the blazes +did you get off that island? + +02:57:13.760 --> 02:57:17.220 +When you marooned me on +that godforsaken spit of land, + +02:57:17.304 --> 02:57:19.683 +you forgot one +very important thing, mate. + +02:57:21.267 --> 02:57:23.685 +I'm Captain Jack Sparrow. + +02:57:23.727 --> 02:57:27.356 +Ah, well, I won't be +making that mistake... + +02:57:27.399 --> 02:57:28.608 +...again. + +02:57:29.401 --> 02:57:32.861 +Gents, you all remember +Captain Jack Sparrow? + +02:57:32.945 --> 02:57:34.154 +Aye. + +02:57:34.907 --> 02:57:35.907 +Kill him. + +02:57:37.075 --> 02:57:39.742 +The girl's blood didn't work, did it? + +02:57:42.414 --> 02:57:43.580 +Hold your fire! + +02:57:50.212 --> 02:57:52.756 +You know whose blood we need? + +02:57:54.468 --> 02:57:56.342 +I know whose blood you need. + +02:58:03.477 --> 02:58:06.059 +What sort of a man +trades a man's life for a ship? + +02:58:06.144 --> 02:58:07.396 +A pirate. + +02:58:08.563 --> 02:58:09.900 +Here. + +02:58:09.984 --> 02:58:11.692 +Let me. + +02:58:11.735 --> 02:58:13.236 +Thank you. + +02:58:14.613 --> 02:58:17.197 +You said you gave Barbossa +my name as yours. + +02:58:19.075 --> 02:58:20.075 +Why? + +02:58:23.412 --> 02:58:24.703 +I don't know. + +02:58:26.666 --> 02:58:28.876 +I'm sorry. A blacksmith's hands. + +02:58:28.919 --> 02:58:33.506 +- I know they're rough. +- No... I mean, yes, they are, but... + +02:58:35.966 --> 02:58:37.759 +But don't stop. + +02:58:46.268 --> 02:58:47.685 +Elizabeth! + +02:59:03.620 --> 02:59:04.954 +It's yours. + +02:59:09.375 --> 02:59:12.795 +I thought I'd lost it +the day they rescued me. + +02:59:12.837 --> 02:59:14.295 +It was a gift from my father. + +02:59:14.338 --> 02:59:16.465 +He sent it to me. + +02:59:22.138 --> 02:59:23.680 +Why did you take it? + +02:59:25.808 --> 02:59:28.560 +Because I was afraid +that you were a pirate. + +02:59:30.145 --> 02:59:31.938 +That would've been awful. + +02:59:35.401 --> 02:59:37.193 +It wasn't your blood they needed. + +02:59:39.989 --> 02:59:42.241 +It was my father's blood. + +02:59:44.702 --> 02:59:47.287 +My blood. + +02:59:52.210 --> 02:59:53.585 +The blood of a pirate. + +02:59:53.669 --> 02:59:55.795 +Will, I'm so sorry. +Please forgive me. + +03:00:09.144 --> 03:00:12.770 +So you expect to leave me standin' on +some beach, with nothing but a name + +03:00:12.855 --> 03:00:18.192 +and your word it's the one I need, +and watch you sail away in my ship? + +03:00:18.277 --> 03:00:19.444 +No. + +03:00:19.528 --> 03:00:23.656 +I expect to leave you standing on some +beach with absolutely no name at all, + +03:00:23.699 --> 03:00:25.784 +watching me sail away on my ship, + +03:00:25.869 --> 03:00:28.745 +and then I'll shout +the name back to you. + +03:00:28.829 --> 03:00:30.163 +Savvy? + +03:00:30.205 --> 03:00:33.249 +That still leaves the problem +of me standing on some beach, + +03:00:33.334 --> 03:00:37.170 +with naught but a name and your word +it's the one I need. + +03:00:38.212 --> 03:00:39.547 +Of the two of us, + +03:00:39.632 --> 03:00:43.426 +I am the only one who +hasn't committed mutiny. + +03:00:43.510 --> 03:00:47.512 +Therefore, my word is +the one we'll be trusting. + +03:00:47.555 --> 03:00:49.308 +Although... + +03:00:49.392 --> 03:00:52.018 +I suppose I should be thanking you +because, in fact, + +03:00:52.061 --> 03:00:54.353 +if you hadn't betrayed me +and left me to die, + +03:00:55.396 --> 03:00:59.693 +I would have an equal share +in that curse, same as you. + +03:00:59.736 --> 03:01:01.110 +Funny ol' world, isn't it? + +03:01:01.194 --> 03:01:02.527 +Hm. + +03:01:05.115 --> 03:01:07.616 +Captain! We're coming up +on the Interceptor. + +03:01:20.756 --> 03:01:22.798 +I'm having a thought here, Barbossa. + +03:01:23.466 --> 03:01:25.258 +What say we run up a flag of truce, + +03:01:25.343 --> 03:01:27.136 +I scurry over to the Interceptor, + +03:01:27.220 --> 03:01:30.682 +and I negotiate the return of your +medallion. What say you to that? + +03:01:31.642 --> 03:01:35.144 +You see, Jack, that's exactly +the attitude that lost you the Pearl. + +03:01:35.229 --> 03:01:38.147 +People are easier to search +when they're dead. + +03:01:39.190 --> 03:01:40.525 +Lock him in the brig. + +03:01:52.787 --> 03:01:55.246 +Hands aloft to loose ta'gallants! + +03:01:55.288 --> 03:01:58.583 +With this wind dead astern, +she'll carry every sail we've got. + +03:01:58.626 --> 03:02:01.086 +- What's happening? +- The Black Pearl! + +03:02:01.129 --> 03:02:02.336 +She's gaining on us! + +03:02:06.927 --> 03:02:09.303 +This is the fastest ship +in the Caribbean! + +03:02:09.388 --> 03:02:12.140 +You can tell them that +after they've caught us! + +03:02:12.182 --> 03:02:14.099 +We're shallower on the draft, right? + +03:02:14.142 --> 03:02:15.143 +Aye. + +03:02:15.227 --> 03:02:17.309 +Can't we lose them amongst those shoals? + +03:02:18.772 --> 03:02:20.480 +We don't have to outrun 'em long. + +03:02:20.523 --> 03:02:21.817 +Just long enough. + +03:02:21.860 --> 03:02:23.150 +Lighten the ship! + +03:02:23.234 --> 03:02:24.401 +Stem to stern! + +03:02:24.485 --> 03:02:27.572 +Anything we can afford to lose, +see that it's lost! + +03:02:36.998 --> 03:02:39.000 +Apparently, there's a leak. + +03:02:53.681 --> 03:02:56.851 +Haul on the main brace! +Make ready the guns! + +03:02:56.894 --> 03:02:59.102 +And run out the sweeps. + +03:03:27.339 --> 03:03:29.007 +We're gonna need that. + +03:03:37.684 --> 03:03:40.477 +It was a good plan, up till now. + +03:03:40.562 --> 03:03:42.020 +Gibbs! + +03:03:42.063 --> 03:03:43.480 +We have to make a stand. + +03:03:43.564 --> 03:03:44.982 +We must fight! + +03:03:45.900 --> 03:03:48.026 +- Load the guns! +- With what? + +03:03:48.070 --> 03:03:49.820 +Anything! Everything! + +03:03:49.904 --> 03:03:51.613 +Anything we have left! + +03:03:53.659 --> 03:03:55.617 +Load the guns! + +03:03:55.701 --> 03:03:57.410 +Case shot and langrage! + +03:03:57.495 --> 03:03:59.079 +Nails and crushed glass! + +03:04:01.623 --> 03:04:02.792 +With a will! + +03:04:24.104 --> 03:04:26.940 +The Pearl's gonna luff up +on our port quarter! + +03:04:27.024 --> 03:04:29.609 +She'll rake us without ever +presenting a target! + +03:04:29.651 --> 03:04:31.736 +Lower the anchor on the right side. + +03:04:32.320 --> 03:04:33.738 +On the starboard side! + +03:04:34.783 --> 03:04:37.910 +- It has the element of surprise. +- You're daft, lady! + +03:04:37.953 --> 03:04:38.952 +You both are! + +03:04:39.035 --> 03:04:40.453 +Daft like Jack! + +03:04:41.164 --> 03:04:42.664 +Lower the starboard anchor! + +03:04:43.292 --> 03:04:46.834 +Do it, you gobs, or it's you +we'll load into the cannons! + +03:04:46.918 --> 03:04:48.461 +Aye! + +03:05:05.313 --> 03:05:06.563 +Let go! + +03:05:13.155 --> 03:05:14.821 +They're club haulin'! + +03:05:14.906 --> 03:05:17.656 +Hard a port! +Rack the starboard oars! + +03:05:17.741 --> 03:05:19.492 +Hard a port! + +03:05:30.879 --> 03:05:32.130 +Keep her steady, man. + +03:05:39.179 --> 03:05:40.179 +Now! + +03:05:40.263 --> 03:05:42.557 +Fire! + +03:05:52.317 --> 03:05:54.318 +Stop blowing holes in my ship! + +03:06:40.907 --> 03:06:43.076 +We could use a few more ideas, lass! + +03:06:43.160 --> 03:06:44.743 +It's your turn! + +03:06:44.786 --> 03:06:46.578 +We need us a devil's dowry! + +03:06:46.621 --> 03:06:47.954 +We'll give them her! + +03:06:48.958 --> 03:06:50.457 +She's not what they're after. + +03:06:53.044 --> 03:06:54.378 +The medallion! + +03:07:16.483 --> 03:07:19.069 +Strike your colors, +you bloomin' cockroaches! + +03:07:19.112 --> 03:07:21.864 +Hands, grapnels, at the ready! + +03:07:21.948 --> 03:07:23.783 +Prepare to board! + +03:07:31.416 --> 03:07:32.622 +Ahh! + +03:07:58.109 --> 03:08:00.943 +Pistols and cutlasses, men! + +03:08:00.986 --> 03:08:03.280 +Koehler and Twigg +to the powder magazine! + +03:08:03.323 --> 03:08:06.658 +And the rest of you, +bring me the medallion! + +03:08:16.211 --> 03:08:18.630 +Hey! Hey! + +03:08:34.438 --> 03:08:37.065 +Hey! Below! + +03:08:56.876 --> 03:08:58.377 +Thanks very much. + +03:09:01.713 --> 03:09:03.299 +Ha-haa! + +03:09:07.679 --> 03:09:10.304 +Whoa! + +03:09:11.767 --> 03:09:12.766 +Jack! + +03:09:14.144 --> 03:09:15.935 +Bloody empty! + +03:09:31.868 --> 03:09:33.746 +That's not very nice. + +03:09:38.376 --> 03:09:39.584 +Where is the medallion? + +03:09:39.626 --> 03:09:40.712 +Wretch! + +03:09:42.463 --> 03:09:43.672 +Ah... + +03:09:43.756 --> 03:09:45.089 +Where is dear William? + +03:09:47.301 --> 03:09:48.551 +Will! + +03:09:50.762 --> 03:09:52.972 +- Will! +- Elizabeth! + +03:09:55.936 --> 03:09:57.060 +Monkey! + +03:10:03.735 --> 03:10:05.569 +I can't move it! + +03:10:06.945 --> 03:10:07.945 +Will! + +03:10:07.988 --> 03:10:09.114 +Elizabeth! + +03:10:09.156 --> 03:10:10.239 +Will! + +03:10:21.336 --> 03:10:23.461 +Why, thank you, Jack. + +03:10:23.545 --> 03:10:25.171 +You're welcome. + +03:10:25.255 --> 03:10:27.842 +Not you. We named the monkey Jack. + +03:10:29.051 --> 03:10:31.969 +Gents! Our hope is restored! + +03:10:32.054 --> 03:10:33.472 +Yeah! + +03:11:08.006 --> 03:11:12.009 +Any of you so much +as thinks the word parley, + +03:11:12.094 --> 03:11:14.845 +I'll have your guts for garters! + +03:11:22.729 --> 03:11:24.146 +Will! + +03:11:24.189 --> 03:11:26.190 +Stop it! Stop it! + +03:11:27.067 --> 03:11:29.025 +Welcome back, miss. + +03:11:29.110 --> 03:11:31.861 +You took advantage of +our hospitality last time. + +03:11:31.904 --> 03:11:35.242 +It holds fair now +that you return the favor! + +03:11:35.660 --> 03:11:38.536 +No! No! + +03:11:41.206 --> 03:11:42.291 +Barbossa! + +03:11:44.251 --> 03:11:45.252 +Will. + +03:11:48.046 --> 03:11:49.046 +She goes free! + +03:11:50.172 --> 03:11:51.883 +What's in your head, boy? + +03:11:53.260 --> 03:11:54.552 +She goes free. + +03:11:55.220 --> 03:11:58.265 +You've only got one shot, +and we can't die. + +03:11:58.349 --> 03:12:00.349 +Don't do anything stupid! + +03:12:03.313 --> 03:12:04.562 +You can't. + +03:12:04.646 --> 03:12:06.062 +I can. + +03:12:07.775 --> 03:12:09.399 +Like that. + +03:12:10.446 --> 03:12:11.736 +Who are you? + +03:12:11.778 --> 03:12:13.280 +No one! He's no one! + +03:12:14.031 --> 03:12:17.033 +A distant cousin of my aunt's +nephew, twice removed. + +03:12:17.075 --> 03:12:19.577 +- Lovely singing voice, though. +- Eunuch! + +03:12:19.619 --> 03:12:21.286 +My name is Will Turner! + +03:12:21.370 --> 03:12:24.081 +My father was Bootstrap Bill Turner. + +03:12:24.124 --> 03:12:26.084 +His blood runs in my veins. + +03:12:26.794 --> 03:12:29.086 +It's the spitting image +of ol' Bootstrap Bill, + +03:12:29.171 --> 03:12:30.962 +come back to haunt us! + +03:12:31.047 --> 03:12:33.050 +On my word, do as I say, + +03:12:33.092 --> 03:12:34.967 +or I'll pull this trigger, + +03:12:35.052 --> 03:12:37.260 +and be lost to Davy Jones' locker! + +03:12:38.304 --> 03:12:40.598 +Name your terms, Mr. Turner. + +03:12:40.640 --> 03:12:41.807 +Elizabeth goes free! + +03:12:41.893 --> 03:12:43.517 +Yes, we know that one. + +03:12:43.602 --> 03:12:44.602 +Anything else? + +03:12:47.271 --> 03:12:48.565 +And the crew! + +03:12:48.608 --> 03:12:50.566 +The crew are not to be harmed! + +03:12:55.323 --> 03:12:57.113 +Agreed. + +03:13:03.329 --> 03:13:06.791 +Go on, poppet. Walk the plank. + +03:13:16.301 --> 03:13:17.969 +Barbossa, you lying bastard! + +03:13:18.053 --> 03:13:20.638 +You swore she'd go free! + +03:13:20.722 --> 03:13:22.974 +Don't dare impugn me honor, boy! + +03:13:23.058 --> 03:13:24.724 +I agreed she'd go free. + +03:13:24.809 --> 03:13:27.812 +It was you who failed to specify +when or where. + +03:13:33.527 --> 03:13:37.488 +Though it does seem a shame to lose +something so fine, don't it, lads? + +03:13:37.531 --> 03:13:38.531 +Aye. + +03:13:39.533 --> 03:13:42.701 +So I'll be havin' that dress +back before you go. + +03:13:47.039 --> 03:13:49.167 +I always liked you. + +03:13:52.170 --> 03:13:54.505 +Goes with your black heart! + +03:13:55.090 --> 03:13:57.257 +Mm. It's still warm. + +03:14:00.636 --> 03:14:02.680 +Off you go! + +03:14:02.763 --> 03:14:04.098 +Come on! + +03:14:07.727 --> 03:14:08.893 +Too long! + +03:14:20.031 --> 03:14:22.532 +I really rather hoped +we were past all this. + +03:14:24.119 --> 03:14:25.535 +Jack. + +03:14:25.578 --> 03:14:26.663 +Jack! + +03:14:28.414 --> 03:14:29.874 +Did ya not notice? + +03:14:29.958 --> 03:14:34.210 +That be the same island we made you +governor of on our last little trip. + +03:14:35.504 --> 03:14:37.172 +I did notice. + +03:14:37.214 --> 03:14:41.384 +Perhaps you'll be able to conjure up +another miraculous escape, + +03:14:41.427 --> 03:14:43.053 +but I doubt it. + +03:14:45.890 --> 03:14:47.432 +Off you go. + +03:14:48.434 --> 03:14:51.060 +Last time you left me +a pistol with one shot. + +03:14:51.145 --> 03:14:52.729 +By the powers, you're right! + +03:14:52.812 --> 03:14:54.941 +Where be Jack's pistol? + +03:14:55.025 --> 03:14:56.192 +Bring it forward. + +03:14:59.362 --> 03:15:02.156 +Seeing as there's two of us, +a gentleman... + +03:15:02.865 --> 03:15:04.658 +...would give us a pair of pistols. + +03:15:04.743 --> 03:15:06.451 +It'll be one pistol, as before, + +03:15:06.535 --> 03:15:09.328 +and you can be the gentleman +and shoot the lady, + +03:15:09.412 --> 03:15:11.248 +and starve to death yourself! + +03:15:35.606 --> 03:15:39.150 +That's the second time I've had to watch +that man sail away with my ship. + +03:15:41.613 --> 03:15:44.280 +You were marooned on this island +before, weren't you? + +03:15:44.364 --> 03:15:45.950 +We can escape the same way! + +03:15:45.992 --> 03:15:48.118 +To what point and purpose, young missy? + +03:15:48.870 --> 03:15:50.620 +The Black Pearl is gone, + +03:15:50.663 --> 03:15:54.123 +and unless you have a rudder and +a lot of sails hidden in that bodice... + +03:15:54.208 --> 03:15:56.626 +Unlikely... + +03:15:56.669 --> 03:15:59.628 +Young Mr. Turner will be dead +long before you can reach him. + +03:16:02.299 --> 03:16:04.634 +But you're Captain Jack Sparrow! + +03:16:04.677 --> 03:16:09.097 +You vanished from under the eyes of +seven agents of the East India Company! + +03:16:09.139 --> 03:16:11.892 +You sacked Nassau Port +without even firing a shot! + +03:16:11.977 --> 03:16:14.227 +Are you the pirate +I've read about or not? + +03:16:16.772 --> 03:16:18.273 +How did you escape last time? + +03:16:25.114 --> 03:16:26.989 +Last time... + +03:16:27.031 --> 03:16:29.825 +...I was here a grand total +of three days, all right? + +03:16:30.828 --> 03:16:31.828 +Last time... + +03:16:33.872 --> 03:16:37.166 +...the rum runners used this island +as a cache. + +03:16:37.209 --> 03:16:39.668 +They came by and I was able +to barter passage off. + +03:16:39.752 --> 03:16:41.505 +From the looks of things, + +03:16:41.590 --> 03:16:43.798 +they've long been out of business. + +03:16:43.841 --> 03:16:48.970 +You probably have your bloody friend +Norrington to thank for that. + +03:16:49.013 --> 03:16:50.554 +So that's it then? + +03:16:51.848 --> 03:16:55.685 +That's the secret, grand adventure +of the infamous Jack Sparrow! + +03:16:56.688 --> 03:16:58.479 +You spent three days, + +03:16:58.522 --> 03:17:00.857 +lying on a beach, drinking rum. + +03:17:03.236 --> 03:17:07.029 +Welcome to the Caribbean, love. + +03:17:15.080 --> 03:17:17.247 +♪ We're devils +We're black sheep + +03:17:17.332 --> 03:17:18.499 +♪ We're really bad eggs + +03:17:18.542 --> 03:17:21.168 +♪ Drink up, me hearties +Yo ho + +03:17:21.211 --> 03:17:25.172 +♪ Yo ho, yo ho +A pirate's life for me + +03:17:25.214 --> 03:17:27.050 +I love this song! + +03:17:30.053 --> 03:17:32.220 +Really bad eggs! + +03:17:33.641 --> 03:17:35.642 +Ooh... + +03:17:37.100 --> 03:17:39.102 +When I get the Pearl back, + +03:17:39.186 --> 03:17:41.688 +I'm gonna teach it to the whole crew, + +03:17:41.731 --> 03:17:43.274 +and we'll sing it all the time! + +03:17:43.359 --> 03:17:47.152 +And you will be positively the most +fearsome pirates in the Spanish Main! + +03:17:47.236 --> 03:17:49.071 +Not just the Spanish Main, love. + +03:17:50.115 --> 03:17:51.823 +The entire ocean! + +03:17:51.908 --> 03:17:53.660 +The entire world! + +03:17:54.577 --> 03:17:56.578 +Wherever we want to go, we go. + +03:17:56.621 --> 03:17:58.205 +That's what a ship is, you know. + +03:17:58.247 --> 03:18:01.084 +It's not just a keel and a hull +and a deck and sails. + +03:18:01.168 --> 03:18:02.669 +That's what a ship needs. + +03:18:02.753 --> 03:18:04.754 +But what a ship is... + +03:18:06.131 --> 03:18:09.091 +What the Black Pearl really is... + +03:18:10.552 --> 03:18:13.804 +...is freedom. + +03:18:14.805 --> 03:18:15.890 +Jack... + +03:18:15.933 --> 03:18:20.687 +It must be really terrible for you +to be trapped on this island. + +03:18:21.478 --> 03:18:22.689 +Oh, yes. + +03:18:22.773 --> 03:18:25.609 +But the company is... + +03:18:25.652 --> 03:18:28.444 +...infinitely better than last time, +and the... + +03:18:30.238 --> 03:18:33.949 +...scenery has definitely improved. +- Mr. Sparrow! + +03:18:33.991 --> 03:18:38.037 +I'm not entirely sure I've had +enough rum to allow that kind of talk. + +03:18:39.664 --> 03:18:41.457 +I know exactly what you mean, love. + +03:18:48.965 --> 03:18:50.509 +To freedom! + +03:18:53.261 --> 03:18:54.803 +To the Black Pearl. + +03:19:11.404 --> 03:19:14.448 +Hm? + +03:19:24.333 --> 03:19:25.419 +No! + +03:19:25.503 --> 03:19:28.296 +Not good! Stop! + +03:19:28.337 --> 03:19:29.546 +Not good! + +03:19:29.630 --> 03:19:30.630 +What are you doing? + +03:19:30.673 --> 03:19:32.759 +You've burned all the food, the shade... + +03:19:32.843 --> 03:19:35.094 +...the rum! +- Yes, the rum is gone. + +03:19:35.179 --> 03:19:36.427 +Why is the rum gone? + +03:19:36.887 --> 03:19:38.763 +One, because it is a vile drink + +03:19:38.847 --> 03:19:41.768 +that turns even the most respectable +men into scoundrels. + +03:19:41.852 --> 03:19:44.937 +Two, that signal +is over 1,000 feet high. + +03:19:45.022 --> 03:19:47.230 +The entire Royal Navy +is out looking for me. + +03:19:47.315 --> 03:19:49.691 +Do you think there is even +the slightest chance + +03:19:49.734 --> 03:19:50.901 +they won't see it? + +03:19:50.985 --> 03:19:52.818 +But why is the rum gone? + +03:19:53.905 --> 03:19:55.363 +Just wait, Captain Sparrow. + +03:19:55.406 --> 03:19:57.201 +You give it one hour, maybe two, + +03:19:57.285 --> 03:20:02.203 +keep a weather eye open, and you +will see white sails on that horizon. + +03:20:07.710 --> 03:20:10.712 +"Must've been terrible for you +to be trapped here, Jack." + +03:20:10.755 --> 03:20:13.840 +"Must've been terrible for you..." +Well, it bloody is now! + +03:20:21.223 --> 03:20:23.474 +There'll be no +living with her after this. + +03:20:24.476 --> 03:20:28.062 +- We've got to save Will! +- No! You're safe now. + +03:20:28.146 --> 03:20:30.232 +We will return to +Port Royal immediately, + +03:20:30.316 --> 03:20:32.276 +not go gallivanting after pirates! + +03:20:32.361 --> 03:20:34.278 +Then we condemn him to death! + +03:20:35.364 --> 03:20:38.072 +The boy's fate is regrettable... + +03:20:38.156 --> 03:20:40.742 +...but then, so was his decision +to engage in piracy. + +03:20:40.827 --> 03:20:44.079 +To rescue me! To prevent anything +from happening to me! + +03:20:44.163 --> 03:20:48.000 +If I may be so bold as to interject +my professional opinion, + +03:20:48.085 --> 03:20:51.253 +the Pearl was listing +near to scuppers after the battle. + +03:20:51.295 --> 03:20:54.213 +It's very unlikely she'd be able +to make good time. + +03:20:54.256 --> 03:20:55.590 +Think about it. + +03:20:55.675 --> 03:20:57.884 +The Black Pearl. + +03:20:57.927 --> 03:21:02.430 +The last real pirate threat +in the Caribbean, mate. + +03:21:02.473 --> 03:21:04.433 +How can you pass that up? + +03:21:06.602 --> 03:21:09.437 +By remembering that I serve others, +Mr. Sparrow, + +03:21:09.480 --> 03:21:11.982 +- not only myself. +- Commodore, I beg you! + +03:21:12.067 --> 03:21:13.065 +Please do this! + +03:21:13.108 --> 03:21:14.733 +For me! + +03:21:14.776 --> 03:21:16.945 +As a wedding gift. + +03:21:17.028 --> 03:21:18.195 +Elizabeth? + +03:21:19.282 --> 03:21:21.825 +Are you accepting +the commodore's proposal? + +03:21:24.244 --> 03:21:25.287 +I am. + +03:21:26.122 --> 03:21:27.789 +A wedding! I love weddings! + +03:21:27.874 --> 03:21:29.624 +Drinks all around! + +03:21:31.918 --> 03:21:34.671 +I know. "Clap him in irons," right? + +03:21:37.217 --> 03:21:38.382 +Mr. Sparrow... + +03:21:39.719 --> 03:21:42.053 +...you will accompany +these fine men to the helm + +03:21:42.139 --> 03:21:44.639 +and provide us with a bearing +to Isla de Muerta. + +03:21:44.682 --> 03:21:48.602 +You'll then spend the rest of the voyage +contemplating all possible meanings + +03:21:48.644 --> 03:21:51.145 +of the phrase "silent as the grave." + +03:21:51.187 --> 03:21:52.770 +Do I make myself clear? + +03:21:52.813 --> 03:21:54.901 +Inescapably clear. + +03:21:58.905 --> 03:22:01.156 +Shiver me timbers! + +03:22:01.948 --> 03:22:03.575 +Cotton says you missed a bit. + +03:22:08.579 --> 03:22:09.955 +You knew William Turner? + +03:22:11.834 --> 03:22:13.919 +Old Bootstrap Bill. + +03:22:14.003 --> 03:22:15.003 +We knew him. + +03:22:16.004 --> 03:22:20.007 +Never sat well with Bootstrap, +what we did to Jack Sparrow, + +03:22:20.050 --> 03:22:22.135 +the mutiny and all. + +03:22:22.718 --> 03:22:24.721 +He said it wasn't right with the code. + +03:22:25.805 --> 03:22:28.975 +That's why he sent off a piece +of the treasure to you, as it were. + +03:22:29.018 --> 03:22:32.645 +He said we deserved to be cursed... + +03:22:34.232 --> 03:22:36.316 +...and remain cursed. + +03:22:36.359 --> 03:22:37.399 +Stupid blighter! + +03:22:37.484 --> 03:22:39.317 +Good man. + +03:22:39.361 --> 03:22:44.616 +But, as you can imagine, that +didn't sit too well with the captain. + +03:22:44.699 --> 03:22:47.953 +That didn't sit too well +with the captain at all! + +03:22:48.037 --> 03:22:51.664 +- Tell him what Barbossa did. +- I'm telling the story! + +03:22:54.209 --> 03:22:58.294 +So... what the captain did... + +03:22:58.379 --> 03:23:00.965 +...he strapped a cannon +to Bootstrap's bootstraps. + +03:23:01.049 --> 03:23:02.550 +Bootstrap's bootstraps. + +03:23:02.593 --> 03:23:05.595 +Last we saw of ol' Bill Turner... + +03:23:05.680 --> 03:23:08.138 +...he was sinking to +the crushin' black oblivion + +03:23:08.223 --> 03:23:11.351 +of Davy Jones' locker! + +03:23:11.770 --> 03:23:14.853 +'Course it was only after that +we learned we needed his blood + +03:23:14.896 --> 03:23:16.105 +to lift the curse. + +03:23:16.189 --> 03:23:19.234 +That's what you'd call ironic. + +03:23:23.405 --> 03:23:25.031 +Bring him! + +03:23:32.246 --> 03:23:34.249 +I don't care for the situation. + +03:23:34.792 --> 03:23:37.876 +Any attempt to storm the caves +could turn into an ambush. + +03:23:37.919 --> 03:23:41.256 +Not if you're the one +doing the ambushing. + +03:23:41.340 --> 03:23:45.008 +I go in and convince Barbossa to send +his men out in their little boats. + +03:23:45.092 --> 03:23:47.928 +You and your men +return to the Dauntless + +03:23:47.971 --> 03:23:51.224 +and blast the bejesus out of them +with your little cannons. + +03:23:51.267 --> 03:23:52.516 +What do you have to lose? + +03:23:53.602 --> 03:23:56.105 +Nothing I'd lament being rid of. + +03:23:57.772 --> 03:23:59.648 +Now, to be quite honest with you, + +03:23:59.733 --> 03:24:02.694 +there's still a slight risk +to those aboard the Dauntless, + +03:24:02.778 --> 03:24:06.572 +which includes +the future Mrs. Commodore. + +03:24:06.614 --> 03:24:09.700 +- It's for your safety! +- Don't care what the Commodore ordered! + +03:24:09.785 --> 03:24:10.784 +I have to tell him! + +03:24:10.827 --> 03:24:13.829 +The pirates! They're cursed! +They can't be killed! + +03:24:13.913 --> 03:24:16.457 +Don't worry, miss. +He's already informed of that. + +03:24:16.499 --> 03:24:20.209 +A little mermaid flopped up on deck +and told him the whole story! + +03:24:20.294 --> 03:24:22.378 +This is Jack Sparrow's doing! + +03:24:33.851 --> 03:24:35.309 +No reason to fret. + +03:24:35.393 --> 03:24:37.978 +Just a prick of the finger, +a few drops of blood... + +03:24:38.021 --> 03:24:40.022 +No mistakes this time. + +03:24:40.106 --> 03:24:41.815 +He's only half Turner. + +03:24:41.900 --> 03:24:43.317 +We spill it all! + +03:24:45.736 --> 03:24:48.655 +Guess there is reason to fret. + +03:25:01.502 --> 03:25:03.379 +Beg your pardon, mate. +Beg your pardon. + +03:25:03.464 --> 03:25:05.506 +- Begun by blood... +- Excuse me. + +03:25:05.590 --> 03:25:08.300 +By blood un... + +03:25:10.678 --> 03:25:11.677 +Jack! + +03:25:12.722 --> 03:25:13.804 +It's not possible! + +03:25:13.846 --> 03:25:16.016 +Not probable. + +03:25:16.059 --> 03:25:17.852 +Where's Elizabeth? + +03:25:19.229 --> 03:25:21.479 +She's safe, just like I promised. + +03:25:21.522 --> 03:25:24.482 +She's all set to marry Norrington, +just like she promised, + +03:25:24.525 --> 03:25:26.901 +and you get to die for her, +just like you promised. + +03:25:26.985 --> 03:25:29.112 +So we're all men of our word, really. + +03:25:29.196 --> 03:25:32.491 +Except for Elizabeth, +who is, in fact, a woman. + +03:25:32.534 --> 03:25:33.951 +Shut up! You're next! + +03:25:37.497 --> 03:25:40.374 +You don't want to be doing that, mate. + +03:25:40.416 --> 03:25:42.375 +No, I really think I do. + +03:25:44.169 --> 03:25:46.046 +Your funeral. + +03:25:49.217 --> 03:25:51.217 +And why don't I want to be doing it? + +03:25:51.260 --> 03:25:52.928 +Oh, because... + +03:25:53.929 --> 03:25:56.264 +Because the HMS Dauntless, + +03:25:56.348 --> 03:25:58.766 +the pride of the Royal Navy, + +03:25:58.851 --> 03:26:02.103 +is floating just off shore, + +03:26:02.187 --> 03:26:04.021 +waiting for you. + +03:26:12.073 --> 03:26:13.240 +What we doing here? + +03:26:15.159 --> 03:26:18.578 +The pirates come out, +unprepared and unawares. + +03:26:18.620 --> 03:26:20.706 +We catch 'em in a crossfire, + +03:26:20.748 --> 03:26:23.583 +and send 'em down to see Old Hob. + +03:26:24.878 --> 03:26:27.254 +I know why we're here. I meant... + +03:26:27.338 --> 03:26:29.213 +...why aren't we doing what it was... + +03:26:29.256 --> 03:26:31.089 +What Mr. Sparrow said we should do? + +03:26:31.132 --> 03:26:32.634 +With the cannons and all? + +03:26:32.719 --> 03:26:35.761 +Because it was Mr. Sparrow who said it. + +03:26:38.389 --> 03:26:40.975 +You think he wasn't telling the truth? + +03:26:41.059 --> 03:26:42.936 +Just hear me out, mate. + +03:26:43.021 --> 03:26:46.772 +You order your men to row out to the +Dauntless, they do what they do best... + +03:26:47.859 --> 03:26:52.278 +Robert's your uncle, Fanny's your aunt. +There you are with two ships. + +03:26:52.362 --> 03:26:54.780 +The makings of your very own fleet. + +03:26:54.865 --> 03:26:58.452 +'Course, you'll take the grandest +as your flagship, and who's to argue? + +03:26:58.536 --> 03:26:59.952 +But what of the Pearl? + +03:27:01.579 --> 03:27:02.915 +Name me captain. + +03:27:02.957 --> 03:27:06.416 +I'll sail under your colors, +I'll give you ten percent of me plunder, + +03:27:06.459 --> 03:27:08.668 +and you'll get to +introduce yourself as... + +03:27:09.253 --> 03:27:12.131 +...Commodore Barbossa. + +03:27:12.174 --> 03:27:13.257 +Savvy? + +03:27:13.300 --> 03:27:15.509 +I suppose, in exchange, you'll be + +03:27:15.593 --> 03:27:18.429 +- wanting me not to kill the whelp. +- No. Not at all! + +03:27:18.472 --> 03:27:20.139 +By all means, kill the whelp! + +03:27:20.182 --> 03:27:22.600 +Just not yet. + +03:27:22.643 --> 03:27:24.811 +Wait to lift the curse + +03:27:24.853 --> 03:27:27.521 +until the opportune moment. + +03:27:30.984 --> 03:27:32.611 +For instance... + +03:27:34.488 --> 03:27:37.740 +...after you've killed Norrington's men. + +03:27:37.824 --> 03:27:39.408 +Every... + +03:27:39.493 --> 03:27:41.160 +...last... + +03:27:41.203 --> 03:27:42.663 +...one. + +03:27:52.298 --> 03:27:54.632 +You've been planning this +from the beginning! + +03:27:54.676 --> 03:27:56.259 +Ever since you learned my name! + +03:27:57.094 --> 03:27:58.093 +Yeah. + +03:28:00.428 --> 03:28:02.556 +I want 50 percent of your plunder. + +03:28:02.642 --> 03:28:03.641 +- 15! +- 40! + +03:28:03.684 --> 03:28:04.685 +25! + +03:28:05.852 --> 03:28:07.186 +And I'll buy you the hat. + +03:28:07.229 --> 03:28:09.230 +A really big one. + +03:28:10.023 --> 03:28:11.191 +Commodore. + +03:28:14.319 --> 03:28:15.527 +We have an accord. + +03:28:17.198 --> 03:28:19.490 +All hands to the boats! + +03:28:20.493 --> 03:28:21.617 +Apologies. + +03:28:21.702 --> 03:28:23.369 +You give the orders. + +03:28:24.706 --> 03:28:25.705 +Gents... + +03:28:26.708 --> 03:28:28.081 +...take a walk! + +03:28:32.920 --> 03:28:34.255 +Not to the boats? + +03:29:33.649 --> 03:29:36.567 +Hold fire! + +03:29:38.610 --> 03:29:41.404 +This is just like what +the Greeks done at Troy! + +03:29:42.783 --> 03:29:44.408 +'Cept they was in a horse, + +03:29:44.451 --> 03:29:45.910 +instead of dresses. + +03:29:46.620 --> 03:29:47.994 +Wooden horse. + +03:30:00.966 --> 03:30:01.967 +A moment, please. + +03:30:06.139 --> 03:30:07.137 +Elizabeth? + +03:30:10.393 --> 03:30:12.185 +I just want you to know, I... + +03:30:13.312 --> 03:30:15.772 +I believe you made a very +good decision today. + +03:30:16.606 --> 03:30:18.609 +Couldn't be more proud of you! + +03:30:19.111 --> 03:30:20.236 +But, you know, + +03:30:20.320 --> 03:30:23.238 +even a good decision, +if made for the wrong reasons, + +03:30:23.322 --> 03:30:24.824 +can be a wrong decision. + +03:30:33.835 --> 03:30:34.833 +Lieutenant. + +03:30:41.757 --> 03:30:44.175 +Yoo-hoo. + +03:30:54.019 --> 03:30:55.187 +Elizabeth? + +03:30:57.356 --> 03:30:58.606 +Are you there? + +03:31:00.859 --> 03:31:03.486 +Elizabeth, are you even listening to me? + +03:31:29.930 --> 03:31:32.683 +Oh, what have you done? + +03:31:32.726 --> 03:31:36.311 +- Yoo-hoo. +- Stop that! I already feel like a fool! + +03:31:37.354 --> 03:31:39.856 +Look nice, though. + +03:31:43.235 --> 03:31:45.653 +Do I look nice now?! + +03:32:21.607 --> 03:32:22.857 +I must admit, Jack. + +03:32:22.942 --> 03:32:24.859 +I thought I had you figured. + +03:32:24.944 --> 03:32:28.112 +But it turns out you're +a hard man to predict. + +03:32:28.197 --> 03:32:30.155 +Me, I'm dishonest. + +03:32:30.240 --> 03:32:33.077 +And a dishonest man you can +always trust to be dishonest. + +03:32:33.119 --> 03:32:34.369 +Honestly... + +03:32:34.453 --> 03:32:37.079 +...it's the honest ones +you want to watch out for. + +03:32:37.121 --> 03:32:39.414 +'Cause you can never predict + +03:32:39.457 --> 03:32:42.752 +when they're going to do +something incredibly... + +03:32:42.795 --> 03:32:43.794 +...stupid. + +03:33:01.437 --> 03:33:02.604 +Ha-ha! + +03:33:02.647 --> 03:33:03.689 +Ha-ha! + +03:33:03.773 --> 03:33:05.108 +Ha! + +03:33:16.954 --> 03:33:19.162 +You're off the edge of the map, mate. + +03:33:19.247 --> 03:33:21.290 +Here, there be monsters! + +03:33:29.174 --> 03:33:31.257 +What would you pick to eat first? + +03:33:31.341 --> 03:33:33.261 +I think we should decide now, + +03:33:33.345 --> 03:33:35.513 +just so we're ready when the time comes! + +03:34:00.582 --> 03:34:01.705 +What was that? + +03:34:06.209 --> 03:34:07.253 +Oh. + +03:34:19.933 --> 03:34:22.183 +Shh! + +03:34:24.646 --> 03:34:25.646 +It's Elizabeth! + +03:34:46.250 --> 03:34:47.919 +Make for the ship! Move! + +03:34:52.091 --> 03:34:53.506 +Ahh! + +03:34:57.345 --> 03:34:59.137 +To the ship! + +03:35:01.934 --> 03:35:05.061 +Marines, arms! + +03:35:41.514 --> 03:35:43.265 +You can't beat me, Jack. + +03:36:07.539 --> 03:36:09.082 +That's interesting! + +03:36:19.968 --> 03:36:21.844 +I couldn't resist, mate. + +03:36:43.910 --> 03:36:46.161 +Oh, no. + +03:37:28.245 --> 03:37:29.453 +Sorry! + +03:37:38.548 --> 03:37:40.215 +So, what now, Jack Sparrow? + +03:37:40.258 --> 03:37:42.926 +Are we to be two immortals, +locked in an epic battle + +03:37:43.010 --> 03:37:45.344 +until Judgment Day, +when the trumpets sound? + +03:37:45.428 --> 03:37:46.428 +Hm? + +03:37:46.471 --> 03:37:47.889 +Or you could surrender. + +03:37:56.649 --> 03:37:59.984 +Ahh! + +03:38:00.068 --> 03:38:01.903 +Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha. + +03:38:15.208 --> 03:38:16.417 +All of you with me! + +03:38:16.459 --> 03:38:18.544 +Will is in that cave, +and we must save him! + +03:38:18.628 --> 03:38:21.213 +Ready, and... heave! + +03:38:27.804 --> 03:38:29.805 +Please, I need your help! Come on! + +03:38:29.890 --> 03:38:32.641 +Any port in a storm. + +03:38:32.726 --> 03:38:34.811 +Cotton's right. We've got the Pearl! + +03:38:34.895 --> 03:38:37.146 +What about Jack? +Are you just gonna leave him? + +03:38:37.229 --> 03:38:39.023 +Jack owes us a ship! + +03:38:39.106 --> 03:38:40.650 +There's the code to consider. + +03:38:41.236 --> 03:38:42.359 +The code? + +03:38:44.113 --> 03:38:46.571 +You're pirates! +Hang the code + +03:38:46.655 --> 03:38:48.325 +and hang the rules! + +03:38:48.367 --> 03:38:50.785 +They're more like guidelines, anyway. + +03:38:54.581 --> 03:38:56.750 +Bloody pirates! + +03:39:06.344 --> 03:39:08.092 +- Oi! +- What? + +03:39:08.177 --> 03:39:10.346 +Is it supposed to be doing that? + +03:39:10.430 --> 03:39:12.640 +They're stealing our ship! + +03:39:13.100 --> 03:39:14.766 +Bloody pirates! + +03:39:16.854 --> 03:39:18.689 +Boarders away! + +03:39:26.904 --> 03:39:28.905 +Come on! + +03:39:54.099 --> 03:39:56.140 +No! Me eye! + +03:39:57.227 --> 03:39:58.935 +No! + +03:40:13.243 --> 03:40:14.784 +Ha! + +03:40:16.078 --> 03:40:18.162 +I'm gonna teach you the meaning of pain! + +03:40:18.247 --> 03:40:19.790 +You like pain? + +03:40:21.626 --> 03:40:23.002 +Try wearing a corset. + +03:40:33.387 --> 03:40:35.014 +Whose side is Jack on? + +03:40:35.098 --> 03:40:38.143 +At the moment? + +03:41:12.343 --> 03:41:14.218 +No fair! + +03:41:38.243 --> 03:41:40.078 +Ten years you carry that pistol, + +03:41:40.162 --> 03:41:42.497 +and now you waste your shot! + +03:41:43.499 --> 03:41:46.459 +He didn't waste it. + +03:42:11.110 --> 03:42:12.611 +I feel... + +03:42:17.200 --> 03:42:18.492 +...cold. + +03:42:48.605 --> 03:42:51.608 +Oh... Ugh! Oh! + +03:43:20.761 --> 03:43:23.221 +Parley? + +03:43:23.264 --> 03:43:25.142 +The ship is ours, gentlemen. + +03:43:25.226 --> 03:43:27.603 +Huzzah! Huzzah! + +03:43:36.403 --> 03:43:39.281 +Huzzah! + +03:44:13.481 --> 03:44:15.816 +We should return to the Dauntless. + +03:44:18.363 --> 03:44:21.989 +Your fiancé will be wanting +to know you're safe. + +03:44:31.668 --> 03:44:34.961 +If you were waiting for +the opportune moment... + +03:44:35.962 --> 03:44:37.296 +...that was it. + +03:44:38.756 --> 03:44:40.925 +Now if you'd be so kind, +I'd be much obliged + +03:44:41.009 --> 03:44:43.844 +if you'd drop me off at my ship. + +03:44:48.433 --> 03:44:50.601 +I'm sorry, Jack. + +03:44:52.521 --> 03:44:54.729 +They done what's right by them. + +03:44:54.814 --> 03:44:56.566 +Can't expect more than that. + +03:45:12.165 --> 03:45:13.498 +Jack Sparrow! + +03:45:13.541 --> 03:45:17.628 +- We have learned that you... +- Captain! Captain Jack Sparrow. + +03:45:18.338 --> 03:45:21.590 +...For your willful commission +of crimes against the crown. + +03:45:21.674 --> 03:45:25.386 +Said crimes being numerous in quantity, + +03:45:25.470 --> 03:45:27.012 +and sinister in nature. + +03:45:27.681 --> 03:45:29.180 +The most egregious of these + +03:45:29.223 --> 03:45:31.434 +to be cited herewith: + +03:45:31.519 --> 03:45:35.270 +- Piracy, smuggling... +- This is wrong. + +03:45:36.272 --> 03:45:39.274 +Commodore Norrington +is bound by the law, + +03:45:39.358 --> 03:45:41.901 +as are we all. + +03:45:41.944 --> 03:45:44.654 +...Impersonating an officer +of the Spanish Royal Navy, + +03:45:44.739 --> 03:45:47.825 +impersonating a cleric +of the Church of England... + +03:45:47.909 --> 03:45:49.033 +Oh, yes! + +03:45:49.075 --> 03:45:51.077 +Sailing under false colors, + +03:45:51.162 --> 03:45:55.373 +arson, kidnapping, looting, poaching, + +03:45:55.417 --> 03:46:01.379 +brigandage, pilfering, +depravity, depredation, + +03:46:01.422 --> 03:46:03.215 +and general lawlessness. + +03:46:04.632 --> 03:46:06.302 +And for these crimes, + +03:46:06.386 --> 03:46:08.928 +you have been sentenced to be, +on this day, + +03:46:08.972 --> 03:46:12.725 +hung by the neck, until dead. + +03:46:12.768 --> 03:46:15.061 +May God have mercy on your soul. + +03:46:15.103 --> 03:46:16.644 +Governor Swann. + +03:46:16.729 --> 03:46:18.648 +Commodore. + +03:46:20.149 --> 03:46:21.149 +Elizabeth. + +03:46:22.610 --> 03:46:25.446 +I should've told you every day, +from the moment I met you. + +03:46:28.240 --> 03:46:29.783 +I love you. + +03:46:44.340 --> 03:46:46.092 +Oi, watch yourself! + +03:46:46.134 --> 03:46:47.259 +Marines! + +03:46:47.302 --> 03:46:48.843 +I can't breathe! + +03:46:50.639 --> 03:46:51.678 +Elizabeth! + +03:46:54.767 --> 03:46:55.810 +Move! + +03:46:56.685 --> 03:46:58.977 +Goodness sake! + +03:47:06.695 --> 03:47:08.904 +You men! With me! + +03:47:20.167 --> 03:47:21.334 +Move! + +03:47:31.094 --> 03:47:32.679 +Come on! + +03:47:42.774 --> 03:47:43.897 +Come on, men! + +03:48:09.509 --> 03:48:13.510 +I thought we might have to endure some +manner of ill-conceived escape attempt. + +03:48:14.346 --> 03:48:15.929 +But not from you. + +03:48:16.014 --> 03:48:19.851 +On our return to Port Royal, +I granted you clemency. + +03:48:19.894 --> 03:48:21.560 +And this is how you thank me? + +03:48:21.603 --> 03:48:23.687 +By throwing in your lot with him? + +03:48:23.730 --> 03:48:25.314 +He's a pirate! + +03:48:25.399 --> 03:48:27.359 +And a good man. + +03:48:28.151 --> 03:48:30.403 +If all I've achieved here +is that the hangman + +03:48:30.446 --> 03:48:32.572 +will own two pairs +of boots instead of one, + +03:48:32.656 --> 03:48:34.282 +so be it. + +03:48:34.366 --> 03:48:36.242 +At least my conscience will be clear. + +03:48:36.285 --> 03:48:39.246 +You forget your place, Turner. + +03:48:40.788 --> 03:48:42.415 +It's right here, + +03:48:42.458 --> 03:48:43.917 +between you and Jack. + +03:48:47.923 --> 03:48:49.589 +As is mine. + +03:48:49.673 --> 03:48:51.048 +Elizabeth! + +03:48:52.510 --> 03:48:53.674 +Lower your weapons. + +03:48:54.470 --> 03:48:56.470 +For goodness sake, put them down! + +03:49:01.561 --> 03:49:04.480 +So this is where +your heart truly lies, then. + +03:49:06.105 --> 03:49:07.607 +It is. + +03:49:16.114 --> 03:49:19.744 +Well! I'm actually feeling +rather good about this. + +03:49:19.787 --> 03:49:22.329 +I think we've all arrived +at a very special place, eh? + +03:49:22.413 --> 03:49:23.706 +- Oh. +- Spiritually. + +03:49:23.790 --> 03:49:25.791 +Ecumenically. + +03:49:25.876 --> 03:49:27.960 +Grammatically. + +03:49:28.544 --> 03:49:31.128 +I want you to know that +I was rooting for you, mate. + +03:49:32.424 --> 03:49:33.424 +Know that. + +03:49:37.429 --> 03:49:38.930 +Elizabeth. + +03:49:40.890 --> 03:49:43.475 +It would never have worked +between us, darling. + +03:49:44.936 --> 03:49:46.813 +I'm sorry. + +03:49:48.941 --> 03:49:49.941 +Will! + +03:49:52.236 --> 03:49:53.903 +Nice hat. + +03:49:55.864 --> 03:49:57.447 +Friends! + +03:49:59.367 --> 03:50:02.161 +This the day that you will always + +03:50:02.204 --> 03:50:04.831 +remember as the day that... + +03:50:09.795 --> 03:50:12.462 +Idiot! He's nowhere to go +but back to the noose! + +03:50:14.883 --> 03:50:16.718 +Sail ho! + +03:50:24.269 --> 03:50:26.895 +What's your plan of action? + +03:50:27.645 --> 03:50:28.645 +Sir? + +03:50:33.027 --> 03:50:35.484 +Perhaps on the rare occasion + +03:50:35.527 --> 03:50:39.407 +pursuing the right course +demands an act of piracy, + +03:50:39.491 --> 03:50:43.286 +piracy itself can be the right course? + +03:50:47.540 --> 03:50:48.833 +Mr. Turner! + +03:50:54.923 --> 03:50:57.758 +I will accept the consequences +of my actions. + +03:51:03.723 --> 03:51:05.349 +This is a beautiful sword. + +03:51:07.810 --> 03:51:09.561 +I would expect the man who made it + +03:51:09.604 --> 03:51:14.400 +to show the same care and devotion +in every aspect of his life. + +03:51:16.444 --> 03:51:18.196 +Thank you. + +03:51:21.074 --> 03:51:22.114 +Commodore! + +03:51:22.199 --> 03:51:23.910 +What about Sparrow? + +03:51:25.827 --> 03:51:28.746 +Oh, I think we can afford +to give him one day's head start. + +03:51:35.253 --> 03:51:36.923 +So... + +03:51:38.006 --> 03:51:41.093 +This is the path you've chosen, is it? + +03:51:42.469 --> 03:51:44.761 +After all... + +03:51:44.804 --> 03:51:46.349 +...he is a blacksmith. + +03:51:47.350 --> 03:51:48.601 +No. + +03:51:53.314 --> 03:51:55.608 +He's a pirate. + +03:52:20.632 --> 03:52:22.299 +Heave! + +03:52:31.852 --> 03:52:34.437 +Thought you were supposed +to keep to the code, eh? + +03:52:34.479 --> 03:52:37.148 +We figured they were more actual... + +03:52:37.232 --> 03:52:39.192 +...guidelines. + +03:52:43.322 --> 03:52:45.031 +Thank you. + +03:52:46.158 --> 03:52:47.534 +Captain Sparrow. + +03:52:51.830 --> 03:52:53.414 +The Black Pearl is yours! + +03:53:09.222 --> 03:53:10.849 +On deck, you scabrous dogs! + +03:53:10.933 --> 03:53:12.601 +Hands to braces! + +03:53:12.685 --> 03:53:14.769 +Let go and haul to run free. + +03:53:16.439 --> 03:53:18.231 +Now... + +03:53:18.316 --> 03:53:20.150 +Bring me that horizon. + +03:53:27.448 --> 03:53:29.534 +♪ ...And really bad eggs + +03:53:32.872 --> 03:53:35.373 +♪ Drink up, me hearties +Yo ho ♪ -01:52:43.970 --> 01:52:45.699 -Good. Thank you, sir.