diff --git a/files/assets/subtitles.vtt b/files/assets/subtitles.vtt index 006dee1180..8ced689994 100644 --- a/files/assets/subtitles.vtt +++ b/files/assets/subtitles.vtt @@ -1,5326 +1,6196 @@ WEBVTT -00:00:01.634 --> 00:00:02.965 -Alpa Chino! +00:00:02.501 --> 00:00:03.832 +Alpa chino! -00:00:03.069 --> 00:00:04.764 -We're loaded +00:00:03.936 --> 00:00:07.069 +We're loaded I love +the pussy, hell, yeah -00:00:04.871 --> 00:00:06.202 +00:00:07.172 --> 00:00:08.571 I love the pussy, hell, yeah -00:00:06.306 --> 00:00:07.705 -I love the pussy, hell, yeah - -00:00:07.807 --> 00:00:10.469 +00:00:08.674 --> 00:00:11.336 I love that pussy dripping down to the floor, oh, no -00:00:10.577 --> 00:00:13.068 -The wettest pussy, hell, yeah +00:00:11.443 --> 00:00:13.934 +the wettest pussy, hell, yeah I love the pussy, hell, yeah -00:00:13.179 --> 00:00:16.273 +00:00:14.046 --> 00:00:17.140 I'm drinking up -your Booty Sweat and busting a nut +your Booty sweat and busting a nut -00:00:16.383 --> 00:00:18.146 -Alpa Chino got that pussy control +00:00:17.249 --> 00:00:19.012 +alpa chino got that pussy control -00:00:18.251 --> 00:00:20.151 -Alpa Chino's Booty Sweat. +00:00:19.118 --> 00:00:21.018 +alpa chino's Booty sweat. -00:00:20.253 --> 00:00:21.686 +00:00:21.120 --> 00:00:22.553 Pop an ass open! -00:00:21.788 --> 00:00:25.280 -Booty Sweat and Bust-A-Nut bars +00:00:22.655 --> 00:00:26.147 +Booty sweat and bust-a-nut bars available at concessions now. -00:00:29.396 --> 00:00:33.526 -In 2013, when the Earth's rotation +00:00:30.262 --> 00:00:34.392 +In 2013, when the earth's rotation came to a halt... -00:00:33.633 --> 00:00:37.194 -The President has declared -all of North America a disaster area. +00:00:34.500 --> 00:00:38.061 +The president has declared +all of north America a disaster area. -00:00:37.303 --> 00:00:39.999 +00:00:38.170 --> 00:00:40.866 I call on my fellow Americans to come together... -00:00:40.106 --> 00:00:44.133 -... the world called on the one man +00:00:40.973 --> 00:00:45.000 +The world called on the one man who could make a difference. -00:00:48.181 --> 00:00:52.413 +00:00:49.048 --> 00:00:53.075 When it happened again, the world called on him once more. -00:00:53.620 --> 00:00:59.422 +00:00:54.486 --> 00:01:00.356 And no one saw it coming three more times! -00:01:02.028 --> 00:01:03.689 +00:01:02.895 --> 00:01:04.556 Now, -00:01:03.797 --> 00:01:07.733 +00:01:04.663 --> 00:01:08.599 the one man who made a difference five times before, -00:01:10.170 --> 00:01:14.539 +00:01:11.036 --> 00:01:15.405 is about to make a difference again. -00:01:15.275 --> 00:01:19.371 +00:01:16.141 --> 00:01:20.237 Only this time, it's different. -00:01:21.214 --> 00:01:22.841 +00:01:22.081 --> 00:01:23.708 Who left the fridge open? -00:01:24.284 --> 00:01:26.218 -Tugg Speedman. +00:01:25.150 --> 00:01:27.084 +Tugg speedman. -00:01:26.319 --> 00:01:31.086 -Scorcher Vl: Global Meltdown. +00:01:27.186 --> 00:01:31.953 +Scorcher vl: Global meltdown. -00:01:31.191 --> 00:01:32.954 +00:01:32.057 --> 00:01:33.820 Here we go again. -00:01:34.494 --> 00:01:35.552 +00:01:35.361 --> 00:01:36.361 Again. -00:01:44.104 --> 00:01:46.971 +00:01:44.970 --> 00:01:47.837 Will there be anything else? -00:01:47.073 --> 00:01:50.270 +00:01:47.940 --> 00:01:51.137 Yes, my dear man. More beans. -00:01:52.078 --> 00:01:54.239 +00:01:52.945 --> 00:01:55.106 Granny! -00:01:56.182 --> 00:01:57.342 +00:01:57.049 --> 00:01:58.209 Please! -00:01:57.450 --> 00:02:02.410 +00:01:58.317 --> 00:02:03.277 This summer, America's favorite obese family is back. -00:02:05.291 --> 00:02:06.849 +00:02:06.158 --> 00:02:07.716 Gross! -00:02:06.960 --> 00:02:08.985 +00:02:07.826 --> 00:02:09.851 - You're just mad 'cause I'm skinny. - Am not! -00:02:09.562 --> 00:02:11.052 -Jeff Portnoy. +00:02:10.429 --> 00:02:11.919 +Jeff portnoy. -00:02:11.731 --> 00:02:13.198 -Jeff Portnoy. +00:02:12.598 --> 00:02:14.065 +Jeff portnoy. -00:02:13.800 --> 00:02:15.290 -Jeff Portnoy. +00:02:14.666 --> 00:02:16.156 +Jeff portnoy. -00:02:15.401 --> 00:02:21.499 -And Jeff Portnoy are -The Fatties: Fart Two. +00:02:16.268 --> 00:02:22.366 +And Jeff portnoy are +the fatties: Fart two. -00:02:21.608 --> 00:02:23.439 +00:02:22.474 --> 00:02:24.305 In some countries, -00:02:24.644 --> 00:02:26.271 +00:02:25.511 --> 00:02:27.138 it's considered a compliment. -00:02:26.379 --> 00:02:29.576 +00:02:27.246 --> 00:02:30.443 Letting loose this summer. -00:02:38.858 --> 00:02:44.592 +00:02:39.725 --> 00:02:45.459 In a time where to be different was to be condemned, -00:02:58.344 --> 00:03:03.043 +00:02:59.211 --> 00:03:03.910 and to be condemned was to die, -00:03:07.287 --> 00:03:11.348 +00:03:08.153 --> 00:03:12.214 one man chose to question his God. -00:03:15.328 --> 00:03:17.023 -From Fox Searchlight, +00:03:16.195 --> 00:03:17.890 +From fox searchlight, -00:03:25.872 --> 00:03:29.103 -five-time Academy Award winner -Kirk Lazarus +00:03:26.738 --> 00:03:29.969 +five-time academy award winner +kirk Lazarus -00:03:30.210 --> 00:03:34.544 -and MTV Movie Award -Best Kiss winner Tobey Maguire. +00:03:31.076 --> 00:03:35.410 +and mtv movie award +best kiss winner tobey Maguire. -00:03:40.920 --> 00:03:45.448 -Winner of the Beijing Film Festival's -coveted Crying Monkey Award, +00:03:41.787 --> 00:03:46.315 +Winner of the Beijing film festival's +coveted crying monkey award, -00:03:46.659 --> 00:03:48.650 -Satan's Alley. +00:03:47.526 --> 00:03:49.517 +Satan's alley. -00:03:53.032 --> 00:03:55.762 -I've been a bad, bad boy, Father. +00:03:54.032 --> 00:03:56.557 +I've been a bad, bad boy, father. -00:04:31.204 --> 00:04:34.002 +00:04:32.070 --> 00:04:34.868 In the winter of 1969, -00:04:34.107 --> 00:04:36.132 -an elite force of the U.S. Army +00:04:34.973 --> 00:04:36.998 +an elite force of the U.S. army -00:04:36.242 --> 00:04:41.111 +00:04:37.109 --> 00:04:41.978 was sent on a top-secret assignment in southeast Vietnam. -00:04:41.214 --> 00:04:43.978 +00:04:42.080 --> 00:04:44.844 The objective, -rescue Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback +rescue sergeant four leaf tayback -00:04:44.083 --> 00:04:47.143 +00:04:44.950 --> 00:04:48.010 from a heavily guarded -NVA Prison Camp. +nva prison camp. -00:04:47.253 --> 00:04:50.347 +00:04:48.120 --> 00:04:51.214 The mission was considered to be near suicide. -00:04:51.658 --> 00:04:54.957 +00:04:52.524 --> 00:04:55.823 Of the 10 men sent, four returned. -00:04:55.061 --> 00:04:58.497 +00:04:55.928 --> 00:04:59.364 Of those four, three wrote books about what happened. -00:04:58.598 --> 00:05:01.567 +00:04:59.464 --> 00:05:02.433 Of those three, two were published. -00:05:01.668 --> 00:05:05.832 +00:05:02.534 --> 00:05:06.698 Of those two, just one got a movie deal. -00:05:07.340 --> 00:05:12.573 +00:05:08.207 --> 00:05:13.440 This is the story of the men who attempted to make that movie. -00:05:23.389 --> 00:05:25.983 -Whiskey Fire Old Snake -requests an LZ prep +00:05:24.256 --> 00:05:26.850 +Whiskey fire old snake +requests an lz prep -00:05:26.092 --> 00:05:28.652 -at Alpha-Delta-two-four-eight-niner, +00:05:26.959 --> 00:05:29.519 +at Alpha-delta-two-four-eight-niner, over. -00:05:33.966 --> 00:05:38.232 -Floyd, this is lead. Right echelon -approach from RP to LZ, acknowledge. +00:05:34.833 --> 00:05:39.099 +Floyd, this is lead. Right Echelon +approach from rp to lz, acknowledge. -00:05:39.372 --> 00:05:41.499 -Floyd, Wall-Eye airborne. +00:05:40.239 --> 00:05:42.002 +Floyd, wall-eye airborne. Welcome aboard. -00:05:44.944 --> 00:05:46.673 +00:05:45.844 --> 00:05:47.573 All right, lead's going in. Give her some cover. -00:05:46.779 --> 00:05:49.612 +00:05:47.679 --> 00:05:50.512 Delivery on five. I repeat, delivery on five. -00:05:55.688 --> 00:05:57.986 -This is Zero-Three. +00:05:56.588 --> 00:05:58.886 +This is zero-three. I'm on your six, don't worry. -00:05:58.324 --> 00:06:00.952 -Chalk-Three's taking fire. +00:05:59.224 --> 00:06:01.852 +Chalk-three's taking fire. Guns right, guns right. -00:06:07.734 --> 00:06:09.861 +00:06:13.905 --> 00:06:16.032 Lay that shit down! -00:06:09.969 --> 00:06:11.266 +00:06:16.141 --> 00:06:17.438 Come on! -00:06:13.106 --> 00:06:15.404 +00:06:19.278 --> 00:06:21.576 Come on, you damn dirty heathens! -00:06:15.508 --> 00:06:18.841 -Wall-Eye, Wall-Eye, -this is Boomer One-Seven in the Zee! +00:06:23.515 --> 00:06:25.710 +Fats! Run your motherfucking ass +over there, -00:06:18.945 --> 00:06:22.346 +00:06:25.817 --> 00:06:27.114 +hold these men off, now! + +00:06:27.219 --> 00:06:28.914 +We're fixing to lift off! + +00:06:29.021 --> 00:06:31.649 +Put some pep in your step, dick! +Jelly-ass bitch! + +00:06:31.757 --> 00:06:35.056 +Wall-eye, wall-eye, +this is boomer one-seven in the zee! + +00:06:35.894 --> 00:06:39.295 I need fast movers -on my Yankee Smoke, copy? +on my yankee smoke, copy? -00:06:22.448 --> 00:06:24.382 -Boomer, this is Wall-Eye. +00:06:39.398 --> 00:06:41.764 +Boomer, this is wall-eye. I got two-Alpha-four -00:06:24.484 --> 00:06:26.714 +00:06:41.867 --> 00:06:44.097 - snake and nape on the ready! - Oh, Jesus! Holy shit! -00:06:26.819 --> 00:06:27.979 +00:06:44.202 --> 00:06:45.362 Holy shit! -00:06:28.087 --> 00:06:29.884 +00:06:45.470 --> 00:06:47.267 Get on that horn and get some firepower, boy! -00:06:29.989 --> 00:06:31.149 +00:06:47.372 --> 00:06:48.372 Jesus Christ! -00:06:31.257 --> 00:06:32.554 +00:06:48.440 --> 00:06:49.532 Listen, you cherry fuck, -00:06:32.658 --> 00:06:36.185 +00:06:49.641 --> 00:06:53.133 you call in that snake and nape and get us some boom-boom now! -00:06:36.295 --> 00:06:38.786 +00:06:53.245 --> 00:06:55.713 I'd do it myself but I'm kind of goddamn busy! -00:06:38.898 --> 00:06:40.263 -I need an answer, Boomer! +00:06:55.814 --> 00:06:57.179 +I need an answer, boomer! -00:06:40.366 --> 00:06:42.061 -Wall-Eye, Wall-Eye! +00:06:57.282 --> 00:06:58.977 +Wall-eye, wall-eye! -00:06:42.168 --> 00:06:43.533 +00:06:59.418 --> 00:07:00.783 I copy! -00:06:45.405 --> 00:06:46.895 +00:07:01.019 --> 00:07:03.317 +We got beaucoup zips in the zee. + +00:07:03.422 --> 00:07:04.912 +Rock and roll! + +00:07:05.290 --> 00:07:06.780 What the fuck? -00:06:55.081 --> 00:06:57.515 +00:07:18.737 --> 00:07:21.171 That's for Brooklyn, motherfucker! -00:06:57.617 --> 00:06:59.414 +00:07:21.273 --> 00:07:23.207 I think I can put it back in! -00:06:59.519 --> 00:07:02.454 +00:07:23.308 --> 00:07:25.071 +We got to get back to the bird. + +00:07:25.177 --> 00:07:26.269 +Lukemeyer's got popped! + +00:07:26.378 --> 00:07:29.313 This is the last Christmas I spend with Victor Charlie up my ass! -00:07:02.555 --> 00:07:05.291 +00:07:29.481 --> 00:07:32.177 Want some? Get some! -00:07:05.358 --> 00:07:08.384 -Hey, yo, Fats! I ain't seen Four Leaf! +00:07:32.617 --> 00:07:35.450 +Hey, yo, fats! I ain't seen four leaf! -00:07:08.494 --> 00:07:11.691 +00:07:35.554 --> 00:07:38.750 Don't count him out! That bastard's got luck tattooed to his ass! -00:07:11.798 --> 00:07:14.790 +00:07:38.890 --> 00:07:41.882 Motown, get your Detroit jukebox -Jheri curl ass +jheri curl ass -00:07:14.901 --> 00:07:17.131 -in this chickenshit chop-chop! ASAFP! +00:07:41.993 --> 00:07:44.223 +in this chickenshit chop-chop! Asafp! -00:07:17.236 --> 00:07:19.067 -Four Leaf is still -outside the perimeter, Sarge! +00:07:44.329 --> 00:07:46.209 +Four leaf is still +outside the perimeter, sarge! -00:07:19.172 --> 00:07:23.666 +00:07:46.264 --> 00:07:49.290 Miss me with that cracker chump jive! We di di mau! We di di mau! -00:07:23.776 --> 00:07:25.175 +00:07:49.434 --> 00:07:51.061 +Come on, sarge. Stop jiving. +Four leaf is there. + +00:07:51.169 --> 00:07:52.864 +Dead meat, soldier! + +00:07:53.071 --> 00:07:54.971 +Or do you want to be a hero? + +00:07:55.073 --> 00:07:57.073 +That's just how Brooks +got his Jew ass killed, man. + +00:07:57.075 --> 00:07:59.771 +And meatball's dago ass +bought the six-by-three farm. + +00:07:59.878 --> 00:08:03.575 +Now get your ass up in the huey, before +I stomp a trench in your hiney hole! + +00:08:05.183 --> 00:08:06.582 Come on, get down, get down! -00:07:25.278 --> 00:07:27.303 +00:08:06.685 --> 00:08:08.710 What am I looking at? What is this? -00:07:28.214 --> 00:07:32.173 +00:08:09.621 --> 00:08:13.580 Come on, let's get, let's go! Come on, elevator up, up! -00:07:32.285 --> 00:07:34.810 -Sarge. It's Four Leaf. +00:08:13.692 --> 00:08:16.217 +Sarge. It's four leaf. -00:07:48.100 --> 00:07:49.158 +00:08:28.507 --> 00:08:29.565 No! -00:07:55.575 --> 00:07:56.837 +00:08:31.910 --> 00:08:33.434 +You get out of that hole! + +00:08:45.490 --> 00:08:47.355 +You make it home, now. + +00:08:54.800 --> 00:08:56.062 Survive! -00:08:10.022 --> 00:08:12.513 +00:09:10.849 --> 00:09:12.874 +I hope y'all like hamburger meat. + +00:09:12.984 --> 00:09:15.064 +'Cause that's exactly what +I'm gonna be bringing back + +00:09:15.153 --> 00:09:17.178 +and serving up in this whirly bird. + +00:09:17.289 --> 00:09:19.780 Cover me, you limp dick fuckups! -00:08:18.164 --> 00:08:21.395 +00:09:25.430 --> 00:09:28.661 Peek-a-boo! I see you! -00:08:23.436 --> 00:08:25.165 -Hold on, Four Leaf! +00:09:30.702 --> 00:09:32.431 +Hold on, four leaf! -00:08:27.807 --> 00:08:29.138 +00:09:35.073 --> 00:09:36.404 Oh, shit! -00:08:31.410 --> 00:08:32.900 +00:09:44.216 --> 00:09:45.706 Watch my right! -00:08:34.580 --> 00:08:36.844 -Come on, Leaf, let's boogie! +00:09:48.487 --> 00:09:50.455 +Fuck you, Charlie! -00:08:44.190 --> 00:08:45.851 +00:09:55.427 --> 00:09:57.691 +Come on, leaf, let's boogie! + +00:10:04.870 --> 00:10:07.730 No! -00:08:45.958 --> 00:08:47.050 -No! - -00:08:50.229 --> 00:08:52.322 +00:10:10.909 --> 00:10:13.002 - Fats! - Holy fuck! -00:08:53.599 --> 00:08:56.159 +00:10:14.279 --> 00:10:16.839 Take us over to those men! Shit! -00:09:00.640 --> 00:09:03.609 +00:10:21.319 --> 00:10:24.288 Look at you, man. Playing with grenades. -00:09:07.113 --> 00:09:08.375 +00:10:27.792 --> 00:10:29.054 I'm cold, Linc. -00:09:10.416 --> 00:09:12.247 +00:10:31.096 --> 00:10:32.927 I can't feel my legs. -00:09:13.386 --> 00:09:15.377 +00:10:34.065 --> 00:10:36.056 Ain't nothing but a thang. -00:09:16.856 --> 00:09:19.086 -Hold my hands, +00:10:39.638 --> 00:10:40.969 +Hey, Linc. -00:09:19.191 --> 00:09:21.022 -'cause I got something to... +00:10:41.940 --> 00:10:43.305 +What, man? -00:09:21.127 --> 00:09:22.992 +00:10:44.543 --> 00:10:46.636 +Why does man + +00:10:46.745 --> 00:10:49.680 +got to pick up sticks +against another man? + +00:10:51.883 --> 00:10:54.181 +Instead of using them sticks to + +00:10:55.554 --> 00:10:57.146 +prop a man up? + +00:10:57.255 --> 00:10:58.882 +I'll never know. + +00:11:00.191 --> 00:11:04.358 +Hold my hands, 'cause +I got something to... + +00:11:04.462 --> 00:11:06.327 I got something to say. -00:09:24.397 --> 00:09:26.058 +00:11:07.732 --> 00:11:09.393 Oh, boy. -00:09:30.069 --> 00:09:32.970 +00:11:13.538 --> 00:11:16.234 +- You holding 'em? +- I got 'em tight. + +00:11:18.977 --> 00:11:20.638 When we get back to the world, -00:09:33.072 --> 00:09:35.802 -I'm gonna finally teach you -how to juggle. +00:11:21.112 --> 00:11:25.276 +we gonna put together that three-piece +combo band we talked about? -00:09:37.777 --> 00:09:41.042 +00:11:25.383 --> 00:11:28.375 +- Me on stand-up bass. +- Johnny on drums. + +00:11:29.854 --> 00:11:31.981 +And me tickling the ivories. + +00:11:34.092 --> 00:11:37.357 I ain't never been worth a nothing in this life, -00:09:41.147 --> 00:09:43.911 +00:11:37.462 --> 00:11:40.226 but I want you to know something. -00:09:44.984 --> 00:09:46.281 +00:11:41.299 --> 00:11:42.596 What, man? -00:09:48.187 --> 00:09:49.484 +00:11:44.502 --> 00:11:45.799 You are my... -00:09:50.990 --> 00:09:52.685 +00:11:47.305 --> 00:11:49.000 You are my brother. -00:10:05.671 --> 00:10:10.699 +00:12:01.987 --> 00:12:07.015 You are my brother. -You are my... You are my... +You are my... you are my... -00:10:10.876 --> 00:10:12.503 +00:12:07.192 --> 00:12:08.819 I am your brother. -00:10:16.015 --> 00:10:17.744 +00:12:12.330 --> 00:12:14.059 I'm sorry. Could we cut? -00:10:17.850 --> 00:10:19.340 +00:12:14.165 --> 00:12:15.766 - What's he saying? - Damien, can we cut? -00:10:19.452 --> 00:10:21.113 +00:12:15.767 --> 00:12:17.428 - No. No, no, no, no, no... - All right, you know what? -00:10:21.220 --> 00:10:24.212 +00:12:17.535 --> 00:12:20.527 We got the jets coming in, big explosion, two minutes. -00:10:24.323 --> 00:10:25.415 +00:12:20.639 --> 00:12:21.731 Still rolling. -00:10:25.524 --> 00:10:27.151 +00:12:21.840 --> 00:12:23.467 You know what? No, not still rolling. Can we cut? -00:10:27.259 --> 00:10:28.920 +00:12:23.575 --> 00:12:25.236 - We're cutting. - No, we're not. Get out! -00:10:29.028 --> 00:10:30.996 +00:12:25.343 --> 00:12:27.343 Hey, what's going on? For real, my butt is hurting! -00:10:31.097 --> 00:10:33.031 +00:12:27.412 --> 00:12:29.539 This harness is riding up my crack! -00:10:33.132 --> 00:10:35.794 +00:12:29.648 --> 00:12:32.116 - Damien, are we cutting? - No! No! Still rolling! -00:10:35.901 --> 00:10:38.028 -Mr. Cockburn! Are we cutting, sir? +00:12:32.217 --> 00:12:34.344 +Mr. cockburn! Are we cutting, sir? -00:10:38.137 --> 00:10:41.300 +00:12:34.452 --> 00:12:37.615 No! No. I'm not cutting! We're still rolling! -00:10:41.407 --> 00:10:42.465 +00:12:37.722 --> 00:12:38.780 Damien, what's the dealy, dude? -00:10:42.575 --> 00:10:44.372 +00:12:38.890 --> 00:12:40.687 Are we gonna blow this tree line or what? -00:10:44.477 --> 00:10:46.035 -Tuk Tuk and Kim +00:12:40.792 --> 00:12:42.353 +Tuk tuk and Kim got the blue balls here. -00:10:46.145 --> 00:10:47.373 +00:12:42.460 --> 00:12:43.688 I'm gonna let them squirt if we're a go! -00:10:47.480 --> 00:10:49.710 +00:12:43.795 --> 00:12:46.115 - Play it through. Still rolling! - Dieter, can he hear me? -00:10:49.815 --> 00:10:52.375 -That's C-4, dipshit. Put that back. +00:12:46.131 --> 00:12:48.691 +That's c-4, dipshit. Put that back. I said a detonator. -00:10:52.485 --> 00:10:54.851 +00:12:48.800 --> 00:12:51.166 I need some dudes up here who speak American, God damn it! -00:10:54.954 --> 00:10:56.421 +00:12:51.269 --> 00:12:52.830 He's making a fucking sweater back here. -00:10:56.522 --> 00:10:58.854 -I'm trying to put Tiger Balm +00:12:52.837 --> 00:12:55.169 +I'm trying to put tiger balm on this jungle's nuts. -00:10:58.958 --> 00:11:00.084 -Oh, shit! - -00:11:00.192 --> 00:11:01.819 -Alpa Chino hotline. What's up? -What's up, baby? - -00:11:01.927 --> 00:11:04.122 -What the fuck is going on here? - -00:11:04.230 --> 00:11:05.390 +00:12:55.273 --> 00:12:56.433 Everyone, please shut up. -00:11:05.498 --> 00:11:07.989 +00:12:56.541 --> 00:12:58.742 The jets are coming in. We only have one chance at this! -00:11:08.100 --> 00:11:10.261 +00:12:58.810 --> 00:13:00.209 +And go! + +00:13:00.311 --> 00:13:02.609 +Let's do it. You feel it? +You feel me? + +00:13:03.615 --> 00:13:05.981 +- You are my... +- I am your brother. + +00:13:06.451 --> 00:13:08.316 +We've seen it all, man. + +00:13:09.054 --> 00:13:10.054 +I'm sorry, Damien? + +00:13:10.155 --> 00:13:11.452 +Are you seeing that? + +00:13:11.556 --> 00:13:13.956 +The little froggy on the boom Mike? +It's right in my eyeline. + +00:13:15.860 --> 00:13:17.555 +Donny! What's up, man? + +00:13:18.229 --> 00:13:19.196 +It's been there the whole show. + +00:13:19.330 --> 00:13:20.354 +Yeah, well it's right in my face, + +00:13:20.465 --> 00:13:21.454 +I'm staring at a frog, +I'm trying to feel... + +00:13:21.566 --> 00:13:24.126 +It's always the yellow frog that +brings them black frog on Fridays, man. + +00:13:24.235 --> 00:13:25.930 +Hell, no, I didn't pee on that girl. + +00:13:26.037 --> 00:13:28.130 +No, I didn't pee on her, +listen, listen, listen, listen. No, no. + +00:13:28.239 --> 00:13:30.764 +The story is this. She was in the way +when I was peeing, she walked past. + +00:13:30.875 --> 00:13:33.241 +What the fuck is going on here? + +00:13:33.344 --> 00:13:35.505 On three, baby. One, two, breathe. -00:11:10.369 --> 00:11:12.894 +00:13:35.613 --> 00:13:38.138 Look, do me a favor. I don't want to do a countdown before I do the scene. -00:11:13.005 --> 00:11:14.063 +00:13:38.249 --> 00:13:39.307 - No countdown? - No countdown. -00:11:14.173 --> 00:11:15.367 +00:13:39.417 --> 00:13:40.611 - Okay. -- Can we just do it off of "Action"? +- Can we just do it off of "action"? -00:11:15.474 --> 00:11:17.032 -Just... In your own time. +00:13:40.719 --> 00:13:42.277 +Just... in your own time. -00:11:17.143 --> 00:11:18.940 +00:13:42.387 --> 00:13:44.184 - Good... - I'm not a rocket ship, okay? -00:11:19.045 --> 00:11:20.672 +00:13:44.289 --> 00:13:45.916 - All right, dude. - And action! -00:11:20.780 --> 00:11:23.715 +00:13:46.024 --> 00:13:48.959 Whatever floats your boat, baby. Fuck! Don't die! -00:11:23.816 --> 00:11:26.250 -Erika, get me a VitaminWater! +00:13:49.060 --> 00:13:51.494 +Erika, get me a vitaminwater! -00:11:26.352 --> 00:11:27.819 +00:13:51.596 --> 00:13:53.157 You know what it is, Damien? I'm sorry. -00:11:27.920 --> 00:11:32.323 +00:13:53.164 --> 00:13:57.567 Not to get into his thing, but if -I'm crying, should Osiris be crying, too? +I'm crying, should osiris be crying, too? -00:11:32.425 --> 00:11:34.325 +00:13:57.669 --> 00:13:59.569 - No, it's everyone cry... - We cutting or we crying? -00:11:34.427 --> 00:11:35.758 +00:13:59.671 --> 00:14:01.002 - No, no, no, we're crying! - Just call it, man! -00:11:35.861 --> 00:11:37.988 +00:14:01.106 --> 00:14:03.233 - Kirk, you can cry. Tugg, you can cry. - Thanks! -00:11:38.097 --> 00:11:39.826 +00:14:03.341 --> 00:14:05.070 - Everybody cry... - You know what? -00:11:39.932 --> 00:11:41.900 +00:14:05.176 --> 00:14:07.144 - You see how agitated he is now? - I know. -00:11:42.001 --> 00:11:44.435 +00:14:07.245 --> 00:14:09.725 - Let's make lemonade. Let's go to work. - Okay. Still rolling! -00:11:44.837 --> 00:11:47.499 -This is Falcon One. We have the ridge -in sight, approximately two miles out. +00:14:10.081 --> 00:14:12.743 +This is falcon one. We have the Ridge +in sight, approximately two Miles out. -00:11:47.606 --> 00:11:49.870 +00:14:12.851 --> 00:14:15.115 Dieter, these jets -are about to crest this ridge line. +are about to crest this Ridge line. -00:11:49.975 --> 00:11:51.909 +00:14:15.220 --> 00:14:17.154 They got about 200 pounds of shit your pants. -00:11:52.011 --> 00:11:53.171 +00:14:17.255 --> 00:14:18.695 I need to know if we're ready to go. -00:11:55.815 --> 00:11:58.113 -- You're my... You're my... +00:14:21.059 --> 00:14:23.357 +- You're my... you're my... - I am your... -00:11:58.217 --> 00:12:01.675 +00:14:23.461 --> 00:14:26.919 See, that's what I think it is, Damien. I think it's the line. -00:12:01.787 --> 00:12:02.811 +00:14:27.031 --> 00:14:28.055 Yeah? -00:12:02.922 --> 00:12:04.787 -I don't know if Four Leaf -would say that... Four Leaf? +00:14:28.166 --> 00:14:30.031 +I don't know if four leaf +would say that... four leaf? -00:12:04.890 --> 00:12:07.222 +00:14:30.135 --> 00:14:32.467 Were you crying when your hands blew up? -00:12:07.326 --> 00:12:08.953 +00:14:32.570 --> 00:14:34.197 No. See, he didn't. Yeah, I mean, just that's what... -00:12:09.061 --> 00:12:10.619 +00:14:34.305 --> 00:14:35.863 So now we in re-writes, right? -00:12:10.730 --> 00:12:11.856 +00:14:35.974 --> 00:14:37.100 - Where you going? - Let's re-write it! -00:12:11.964 --> 00:12:14.125 +00:14:37.208 --> 00:14:39.369 Action Jackson can't cry. That's what's going down. -00:12:14.233 --> 00:12:16.201 -You know what, Kirk? +00:14:39.477 --> 00:14:41.445 +You know what, kirk? I'm ready to do the scene! -00:12:16.302 --> 00:12:19.863 +00:14:41.546 --> 00:14:45.107 What scene? The scene is about emotionality. Where is it? -00:12:19.972 --> 00:12:21.564 +00:14:45.216 --> 00:14:46.808 - Now it's time to flip the script! - Kirk... -00:12:21.674 --> 00:12:23.835 -Be here till Chinese New Year +00:14:46.918 --> 00:14:49.119 +Be here till Chinese new year waiting for my man to cry. -00:12:23.943 --> 00:12:25.376 +00:14:49.287 --> 00:14:51.255 +You're tangling me, +you're fucking tangling me. + +00:14:51.356 --> 00:14:52.636 +You're tangling me, God damn it! + +00:14:52.657 --> 00:14:55.490 +- Kirk, no! +- Stop tailgating me, you pasty tea bag! + +00:14:55.593 --> 00:14:57.390 +I'm going potty. +You want to hold my dick? + +00:14:57.862 --> 00:15:00.626 +Shit! What are you fucking both doing, +good lord! + +00:15:00.799 --> 00:15:03.324 +We're getting this in a wide shot, right? + +00:15:03.434 --> 00:15:04.958 +Of course we're getting it +in a fucking wide. + +00:15:05.069 --> 00:15:06.093 +What, do you think +I'm a dick or something? + +00:15:06.204 --> 00:15:09.339 +Get that fucking food... Here they come! -00:12:25.478 --> 00:12:28.675 -- Kirk, no! -- Stop tailgating me, you pasty teabag! - -00:12:28.781 --> 00:12:29.770 -Can I make pee-pee? - -00:12:29.882 --> 00:12:32.282 +00:15:10.441 --> 00:15:12.841 - The planes are inbound! -- I know! Oh, shit! +- Shit! Shit! -00:12:32.384 --> 00:12:35.581 -Get the fruit... Jesus! Fuck! -Shit! Cocksucking! +00:15:12.944 --> 00:15:17.847 +Shit, shit, cocksucker, bollocks. +Tropic tits! -00:12:35.688 --> 00:12:39.385 -- That's the signal! Go, go, go, go, go! -- Tropic tits! +00:15:17.949 --> 00:15:20.918 +That's the signal! Go, go, go, go, go! -00:12:39.492 --> 00:12:41.551 +00:15:21.019 --> 00:15:23.078 +Let's go freaking tet here! + +00:15:23.188 --> 00:15:25.179 Goddamn shit-picking cock! -00:12:43.329 --> 00:12:45.058 -It's beautiful! +00:15:27.292 --> 00:15:28.884 +That's my shit! -00:12:51.103 --> 00:12:54.038 -Mother Nature just pissed her pantsuit! +00:15:34.432 --> 00:15:37.367 +Mother nature just pissed her pantsuit! -00:12:54.340 --> 00:12:57.207 -Hot! Hot, hot, hot, hot! Fuck! - -00:13:01.814 --> 00:13:03.372 +00:15:45.243 --> 00:15:46.471 - Sweet. - Oh, mama! -00:13:03.516 --> 00:13:04.881 -Let me down! - -00:13:05.985 --> 00:13:08.249 +00:15:49.280 --> 00:15:51.544 Bungle in the jungle. -00:13:08.354 --> 00:13:11.448 -More bad news from the Vietnamese set -of Tropic Thunder, +00:15:51.649 --> 00:15:54.743 +More bad news from the vietnamese set +of tropic thunder, -00:13:11.557 --> 00:13:15.288 +00:15:54.853 --> 00:15:58.584 where a $4 million explosion charred the Asian location -00:13:15.394 --> 00:13:17.362 +00:15:58.690 --> 00:16:00.658 and the camera wasn't even rolling. -00:13:17.463 --> 00:13:20.125 +00:16:00.758 --> 00:16:03.420 Financed by hotheaded mega-mogul -Les Grossman, +les Grossman, -00:13:20.232 --> 00:13:23.326 +00:16:03.528 --> 00:16:06.622 the film is already rumored to be one month behind schedule -00:13:23.435 --> 00:13:26.302 +00:16:06.731 --> 00:16:09.598 just five days into shooting. The reason? -00:13:26.405 --> 00:13:29.340 +00:16:09.701 --> 00:16:12.636 Fingers are pointed at rookie director -Damien Cockburn, +Damien cockburn, -00:13:29.441 --> 00:13:32.535 +00:16:12.737 --> 00:16:15.831 who, insiders say, can't control a star-studded cast, -00:13:32.645 --> 00:13:37.344 +00:16:15.940 --> 00:16:20.639 including flatulent star of the popular -Fatties franchise, Jeff Portnoy. +fatties franchise, Jeff portnoy. -00:13:37.449 --> 00:13:39.974 +00:16:20.745 --> 00:16:23.270 Let me tell you something. A lot of people are disrespecting me. -00:13:40.085 --> 00:13:43.816 +00:16:23.381 --> 00:16:27.112 They say that the movie's just about farts. It's about family, -00:13:43.923 --> 00:13:47.017 +00:16:27.218 --> 00:16:30.312 and... you! You can't do what I do. -00:13:47.126 --> 00:13:51.358 +00:16:30.421 --> 00:16:34.653 Fresh from his most recent arrest for heroin, glue and crack possession, -00:13:51.463 --> 00:13:53.829 -Portnoy was almost uninsurable. +00:16:34.759 --> 00:16:37.125 +portnoy was almost uninsurable. -00:13:53.933 --> 00:13:58.267 -Also in the mix is Booty Sweat-hocking -hip-hop hyphenate Alpa Chino. +00:16:37.228 --> 00:16:41.562 +Also in the mix is Booty sweat-hocking +hip-hop hyphenate alpa chino. -00:13:58.370 --> 00:14:00.861 +00:16:41.666 --> 00:16:44.157 I'm so excited, you know what I'm -saying, about doing Tropic Thunder. +saying, about doing tropic thunder. -00:14:00.973 --> 00:14:03.134 -Hey, drink Booty Sweat, baby. -Drink Booty Sweat. +00:16:44.269 --> 00:16:46.430 +Hey, drink Booty sweat, baby. +Drink Booty sweat. -00:14:03.242 --> 00:14:04.903 +00:16:46.537 --> 00:16:48.198 But the real heavyweight on the set -00:14:05.010 --> 00:14:07.706 -is five-time Academy Award winner -Kirk Lazarus. +00:16:48.240 --> 00:16:49.217 +is five-time academy award winner +kirk Lazarus. -00:14:07.813 --> 00:14:11.544 +00:16:49.241 --> 00:16:51.082 +Is five-time academy award winner +kirk Lazarus. + +00:16:51.109 --> 00:16:54.840 The brilliant Australian known for his bad boy antics off-screen -00:14:11.650 --> 00:14:15.245 +00:16:54.946 --> 00:16:58.541 is famous for his total immersion into any role he portrays. -00:14:15.354 --> 00:14:16.188 +00:16:58.650 --> 00:16:59.947 Well, being an actor is no different -00:14:16.188 --> 00:14:16.654 -Well, being an actor is no different - -00:14:16.755 --> 00:14:18.950 +00:17:00.051 --> 00:17:02.246 than being a rugby player or a construction worker, -00:14:19.058 --> 00:14:20.184 +00:17:02.353 --> 00:17:03.479 save for the fact that my tools -00:14:20.292 --> 00:14:22.351 +00:17:03.588 --> 00:17:05.647 are the mechanisms that trigger human emotion. -00:14:22.461 --> 00:14:24.520 +00:17:05.757 --> 00:17:07.816 Lazarus underwent a controversial -00:14:24.630 --> 00:14:27.622 +00:17:07.926 --> 00:17:10.918 pigmentation alteration procedure in order to play -00:14:27.733 --> 00:14:30.827 +00:17:11.029 --> 00:17:14.123 the platoon's African-American -sergeant, Lincoln Osiris. +sergeant, Lincoln osiris. -00:14:30.936 --> 00:14:32.369 +00:17:14.232 --> 00:17:15.665 Yeah! -00:14:32.471 --> 00:14:34.336 +00:17:15.767 --> 00:17:17.632 Trying to hold his own onscreen -with Kirk +with kirk -00:14:34.440 --> 00:14:36.567 -is action juggernaut Tugg Speedman. +00:17:17.735 --> 00:17:19.862 +is action juggernaut tugg speedman. -00:14:36.675 --> 00:14:39.473 +00:17:19.971 --> 00:17:22.769 Once the highest grossing star in the world, -00:14:39.578 --> 00:14:42.638 -lately his Scorcher films +00:17:22.874 --> 00:17:25.934 +lately his scorcher films have lost their heat. -00:14:42.748 --> 00:14:45.342 -Recently, Speedman opened up to Tyra. +00:17:26.044 --> 00:17:28.638 +Recently, speedman opened up to Tyra. -00:14:45.451 --> 00:14:47.385 +00:17:28.746 --> 00:17:30.680 You have no real family. -00:14:47.486 --> 00:14:51.923 +00:17:30.782 --> 00:17:35.219 You're on the wrong side of 40. You're childless and alone. -00:14:52.024 --> 00:14:53.719 +00:17:35.320 --> 00:17:37.015 Somebody close to you said, -00:14:53.826 --> 00:14:56.624 -"One more flop and it's over." +00:17:37.121 --> 00:17:39.919 +"one more flop and it's over." -00:14:58.731 --> 00:15:00.824 +00:17:42.026 --> 00:17:44.119 Somebody said they were close to me? -00:15:01.767 --> 00:15:02.893 -It's been a tough year for Tugg. +00:17:45.063 --> 00:17:46.189 +It's been a tough year for tugg. -00:15:03.002 --> 00:15:05.766 +00:17:46.297 --> 00:17:49.061 The disappointing buddy comedy -Chitlin' & the Dude +chitlin' & the dude -00:15:05.871 --> 00:15:10.535 +00:17:49.167 --> 00:17:53.831 was followed by an ill-advised venture into serious dramatic territory. -00:15:10.643 --> 00:15:11.735 +00:17:53.938 --> 00:17:55.030 Simple Jack, -00:15:11.844 --> 00:15:15.575 +00:17:55.139 --> 00:17:58.870 the story of a mentally impaired farmhand who can talk to animals, -00:15:15.681 --> 00:15:17.546 +00:17:58.977 --> 00:18:00.842 was a box office disaster -00:15:17.650 --> 00:15:22.246 +00:18:00.945 --> 00:18:05.541 that many critics called, -"One of the worst movies of all time." +"one of the worst movies of all time." -00:15:22.354 --> 00:15:25.983 +00:18:05.650 --> 00:18:09.279 I ain't got a good brain. -00:15:27.026 --> 00:15:29.927 +00:18:10.288 --> 00:18:13.189 I think you've got a fine brain, Jack. -00:15:30.029 --> 00:15:35.194 +00:18:13.291 --> 00:18:18.456 You make me happy. -00:15:36.735 --> 00:15:41.172 +00:18:19.998 --> 00:18:24.435 But now the question is, -can Speedman make audiences happy +can speedman make audiences happy -00:15:41.273 --> 00:15:43.036 +00:18:24.535 --> 00:18:26.298 in what's being called the most expensive -00:15:43.142 --> 00:15:45.406 +00:18:26.404 --> 00:18:28.668 - war movie never made? -- Rick Peck. +- Rick peck. -00:15:45.511 --> 00:15:47.001 -Wishing Tugg all the best on that one. +00:18:28.773 --> 00:18:30.293 +Wishing tugg all the best on that one. -00:15:47.112 --> 00:15:51.446 -Rum-Tum-Tuggernauts, it's the Pecker. +00:18:30.375 --> 00:18:34.709 +Rum-tum-tuggernauts, it's the pecker. You got time for your agent? -00:15:51.550 --> 00:15:52.812 +00:18:34.812 --> 00:18:36.074 - Rick? - Hey, buddy, -00:15:52.918 --> 00:15:54.476 +00:18:36.180 --> 00:18:37.738 guess who I'm staring at right now. -00:15:54.586 --> 00:15:56.247 +00:18:37.849 --> 00:18:39.510 - What? - I'm looking at your ugly mug -00:15:56.355 --> 00:15:58.653 +00:18:39.617 --> 00:18:41.915 on the back cover -of Vanity Fair magazine, +of vanity fair magazine, -00:15:58.757 --> 00:16:01.191 +00:18:42.020 --> 00:18:44.454 holding a cute, cuddly panda -from Cutesville. +from cutesville. -00:16:01.293 --> 00:16:03.887 +00:18:44.555 --> 00:18:47.149 It is insane, bro. You are a rock star. -00:16:03.996 --> 00:16:06.590 +00:18:47.258 --> 00:18:49.852 Hey, did you get the gift basket I sent? -00:16:06.699 --> 00:16:07.723 +00:18:49.961 --> 00:18:50.985 From Rick. -00:16:07.833 --> 00:16:09.926 +00:18:51.095 --> 00:18:53.188 Yeah. Yeah. It's cool, man. Thanks. -00:16:10.035 --> 00:16:12.595 +00:18:53.297 --> 00:18:55.857 All right, that is a real satellite phone, bro. -00:16:12.705 --> 00:16:14.297 +00:18:55.967 --> 00:18:57.559 Do not re-gift. -00:16:14.406 --> 00:16:16.897 +00:18:57.668 --> 00:19:00.159 Hey. You see -that Access Hollywood piece? +that access Hollywood piece? -00:16:17.009 --> 00:16:19.944 +00:19:00.271 --> 00:19:03.206 Yeah, I did. It was like pistol-whipping a blind kid. -00:16:20.045 --> 00:16:24.482 +00:19:03.307 --> 00:19:07.744 I mean, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it, -Tugg. You are a huge star, all right? +tugg. You are a huge star, all right? -00:16:24.583 --> 00:16:26.050 +00:19:07.845 --> 00:19:09.312 But right now, -00:16:26.151 --> 00:16:27.709 +00:19:09.414 --> 00:19:10.972 you're like that kid on the playground, you know, -00:16:27.820 --> 00:16:30.789 +00:19:11.082 --> 00:19:14.051 the one who has lice that none of the other kids want to play with? -00:16:30.889 --> 00:16:32.880 +00:19:14.152 --> 00:19:16.232 - What do you mean? - I mean we gotta shave your head -00:16:32.992 --> 00:16:35.460 +00:19:16.254 --> 00:19:18.722 and get you back on the monkey bars, right? -00:16:35.561 --> 00:16:36.892 +00:19:18.823 --> 00:19:20.154 What? -00:16:36.996 --> 00:16:38.861 +00:19:20.258 --> 00:19:22.123 How did the crying scene go? -00:16:38.964 --> 00:16:40.727 +00:19:22.226 --> 00:19:23.989 Horrible. Lazarus started crying. -00:16:40.833 --> 00:16:43.996 +00:19:24.095 --> 00:19:27.258 Then he starts drooling and dribbling, and it wasn't even in the script... -00:16:44.103 --> 00:16:45.195 +00:19:27.365 --> 00:19:28.457 Stop right there! -00:16:45.304 --> 00:16:47.033 -You gotta buck up here, Tuggboat. +00:19:28.566 --> 00:19:30.295 +You gotta buck up here, tuggboat. -00:16:47.139 --> 00:16:49.835 +00:19:30.401 --> 00:19:33.097 Who cares how much more talented he may be than you? -00:16:49.942 --> 00:16:53.309 +00:19:33.204 --> 00:19:36.571 If he cries, you cry harder, man. -00:16:53.412 --> 00:16:55.573 +00:19:36.674 --> 00:19:38.835 Didn't your dog have, like, leukemia or something -00:16:55.681 --> 00:16:57.046 +00:19:38.943 --> 00:19:40.308 when you were a kid? I mean, think of that. -00:16:57.149 --> 00:17:00.084 +00:19:40.411 --> 00:19:44.177 Boom! End of story. They hook up the TiVo yet? -00:17:00.185 --> 00:17:01.675 -- No. +00:19:44.282 --> 00:19:45.544 +Good gosh. + +00:19:45.650 --> 00:19:47.481 +- What? +- The TiVo, they hook it up? + +00:19:47.585 --> 00:19:49.849 +- No. The guy didn't come. - What? -00:17:01.787 --> 00:17:03.687 +00:19:49.954 --> 00:19:52.548 +For fuck's sake, that is unacceptable. + +00:19:52.657 --> 00:19:54.557 They have digital cable, but, I mean, it's okay. -00:17:03.789 --> 00:17:06.019 +00:19:54.659 --> 00:19:56.889 No, no, no. Come on, man. It's not okay. -00:17:06.125 --> 00:17:08.252 -It is not okay, Tugg! +00:19:56.994 --> 00:19:59.121 +It is not okay, tugg! -00:17:08.360 --> 00:17:11.488 +00:19:59.230 --> 00:20:02.358 And you don't need to explain to me why you need TiVo -00:17:11.597 --> 00:17:15.533 +00:20:02.467 --> 00:20:06.403 or clean water, clean sheets, food, shelter. -00:17:15.634 --> 00:17:18.728 +00:20:06.504 --> 00:20:09.598 I mean, I fought for that in your contract. -00:17:18.837 --> 00:17:20.896 +00:20:09.707 --> 00:20:11.766 How's the adoption thing coming, buddy? -00:17:21.006 --> 00:17:23.031 +00:20:11.876 --> 00:20:13.901 Not too great. -00:17:24.410 --> 00:17:26.708 +00:20:17.148 --> 00:20:19.844 +I feel like all the good ones are gone. + +00:20:21.519 --> 00:20:23.817 Well, at least you get to choose yours. -00:17:26.812 --> 00:17:28.643 +00:20:23.921 --> 00:20:25.752 I'm stuck with mine. -00:17:30.549 --> 00:17:33.074 +00:20:27.658 --> 00:20:30.183 Tell you what, get back to work, genius soldier. -00:17:33.185 --> 00:17:36.052 -The Pecker's on a TiVo mission -for the Y-O-U. +00:20:30.294 --> 00:20:33.161 +The pecker's on a TiVo mission +for the y-o-u. -00:17:36.155 --> 00:17:37.918 +00:20:33.264 --> 00:20:35.027 Work on those tears, my man. -00:17:38.023 --> 00:17:39.115 +00:20:35.133 --> 00:20:36.225 All right. Yeah. -00:17:39.224 --> 00:17:40.782 +00:20:36.334 --> 00:20:37.892 Say it for me one time. -00:17:40.893 --> 00:17:45.159 +00:20:38.002 --> 00:20:42.268 - You make me happy. - Make me happy. -00:17:45.264 --> 00:17:46.856 +00:20:42.373 --> 00:20:43.965 - I love you, buddy. - All right, bye. -00:17:47.766 --> 00:17:49.757 +00:20:44.876 --> 00:20:46.867 Crisis meeting? What does that mean, exactly? -00:17:49.868 --> 00:17:51.529 +00:20:46.978 --> 00:20:48.639 I mean, are we in a crisis? -00:17:51.637 --> 00:17:53.161 +00:20:48.746 --> 00:20:50.270 He's the head of the studio. -00:17:53.272 --> 00:17:55.638 +00:20:50.381 --> 00:20:52.747 He's reaching out. -We're 10,000 miles away. +We're 10,000 Miles away. -00:17:55.741 --> 00:17:56.833 +00:20:52.850 --> 00:20:53.942 He just wants a little face-time. -00:17:56.942 --> 00:17:59.536 +00:20:54.051 --> 00:20:56.732 I know, it's just you said that he called it a crisis meeting. So... -00:17:59.645 --> 00:18:02.045 -It's Les Grossman. +00:20:56.754 --> 00:20:59.154 +It's les Grossman. He throws these words around. -00:18:02.147 --> 00:18:06.550 +00:20:59.257 --> 00:21:03.660 "Crisis," "explosion," "not rolling," "fired." -00:18:06.652 --> 00:18:07.983 +00:21:03.761 --> 00:21:05.092 These are just words. -00:18:08.087 --> 00:18:10.180 +00:21:05.196 --> 00:21:07.289 Yeah! Yeah! -00:18:10.289 --> 00:18:13.588 +00:21:07.398 --> 00:21:10.697 Keep a secret? A camera truck -in London just plowed into Judi Dench. +in London just plowed into judi dench. -00:18:13.692 --> 00:18:14.818 +00:21:10.801 --> 00:21:11.927 Trust me, he's got bigger problems. -00:18:14.927 --> 00:18:17.395 +00:21:12.036 --> 00:21:14.504 Look, he may be able to see me, but I can't see him. -00:18:17.496 --> 00:18:22.024 -- Move! Move! Hello, Les! Hello! +00:21:14.605 --> 00:21:19.133 +- Move! Move! Hello, les! Hello! - Get your ass out of my... -00:18:22.134 --> 00:18:23.567 +00:21:19.243 --> 00:21:20.676 - Your feet were on my desk. - Can he see us? -00:18:23.669 --> 00:18:25.000 +00:21:20.778 --> 00:21:22.109 I don't know why we don't have... -00:18:25.104 --> 00:18:27.265 -Get him a Diet Coke. Les! It's working! +00:21:22.213 --> 00:21:24.374 +Get him a diet coke. Les! It's working! -00:18:27.372 --> 00:18:29.863 +00:21:24.482 --> 00:21:26.973 Yeah, whatever you're doing right there. -Hello, Les! +Hello, les! -00:18:29.975 --> 00:18:31.374 -- Hello, Les! +00:21:27.084 --> 00:21:28.483 +- Hello, les! - Okay. -00:18:31.477 --> 00:18:33.536 -We got you loud and clear here, Les. +00:21:28.586 --> 00:21:30.645 +We got you loud and clear here, les. -00:18:33.645 --> 00:18:37.342 +00:21:30.755 --> 00:21:34.452 I see you. I see you. I see you. -00:18:37.449 --> 00:18:40.577 +00:21:34.559 --> 00:21:37.687 Which one of you fuckfaces -is Damien Cockburn? +is Damien cockburn? -00:18:41.587 --> 00:18:43.111 +00:21:38.696 --> 00:21:40.220 That's me, sir. -00:18:43.222 --> 00:18:46.749 +00:21:40.331 --> 00:21:43.858 It's good to finally meet you at last, get some face-time. -00:18:46.859 --> 00:18:50.818 +00:21:43.968 --> 00:21:47.927 And who here is the key grip? You? You. -00:18:52.831 --> 00:18:56.289 +00:21:49.941 --> 00:21:53.399 Hit that director in the face, really fucking hard. -00:19:03.142 --> 00:19:04.473 +00:22:00.284 --> 00:22:01.615 Sorry, man. -00:19:10.983 --> 00:19:14.384 +00:22:08.125 --> 00:22:11.026 This is your fault, you limey fuck! -00:19:14.486 --> 00:19:16.511 +00:22:11.128 --> 00:22:12.993 You shit the money-bed, my friend. -00:19:16.622 --> 00:19:19.352 -Hey, Les, I understand if you're angry, +00:22:13.097 --> 00:22:15.622 +- What? +- God damn it, Damien! -00:19:19.458 --> 00:19:21.449 +00:22:15.733 --> 00:22:18.827 +With all due respect, les Grossman did +not blow up the jungle. + +00:22:18.936 --> 00:22:20.028 +- What? +- Fuck the jungle. + +00:22:20.137 --> 00:22:21.468 +Exactly! + +00:22:22.173 --> 00:22:23.640 +Come on, man. + +00:22:24.375 --> 00:22:27.105 +Hey, les, I understand if you're angry, + +00:22:27.211 --> 00:22:29.202 but I am dealing -with a bunch of prima donnas! +with a bunch of prima Donnas! -00:19:21.560 --> 00:19:25.052 -Clowns! Tugg Speedman, he can't cry! +00:22:29.313 --> 00:22:32.805 +Clowns! Tugg speedman, he can't cry! He can't cry! -00:19:25.164 --> 00:19:27.564 +00:22:32.917 --> 00:22:35.317 You know how you handle an actor? They whine about anything, -00:19:27.666 --> 00:19:30.965 +00:22:35.419 --> 00:22:38.718 you pull down their pants and you spank their ass. -00:19:31.069 --> 00:19:33.264 -- You spank that ass, Les. +00:22:38.823 --> 00:22:41.018 +- You spank that ass, les. - What? -00:19:33.372 --> 00:19:37.138 +00:22:41.125 --> 00:22:44.891 Spanking a child turns him into a little snot. -00:19:38.010 --> 00:19:40.911 +00:22:45.763 --> 00:22:48.664 Fear makes him a man. -00:19:41.947 --> 00:19:46.543 +00:22:49.700 --> 00:22:54.296 I know a place where a man's worth is measured -00:19:46.652 --> 00:19:50.452 +00:22:54.405 --> 00:22:58.205 in the ears hanging from his dog tags. -00:19:50.556 --> 00:19:53.286 +00:22:58.309 --> 00:23:01.039 The real deep shit. -00:19:53.392 --> 00:19:55.986 +00:23:01.145 --> 00:23:03.739 You wanna make this movie right? -00:19:56.094 --> 00:19:59.586 +00:23:03.848 --> 00:23:07.340 That's where you take your pansy-ass actors. -00:20:01.166 --> 00:20:03.031 +00:23:08.919 --> 00:23:10.784 Who is this guy? -00:20:03.135 --> 00:20:05.035 -Les, that's Four Leaf. +00:23:10.888 --> 00:23:12.788 +Les, that's four leaf. -00:20:05.137 --> 00:20:08.436 -Sergeant Four Leaf Tayback. +00:23:12.890 --> 00:23:16.189 +Sergeant four leaf tayback. I wrote the book. -00:20:10.642 --> 00:20:14.703 +00:23:18.396 --> 00:23:22.457 You're a great American. This nation owes you a huge debt. -00:20:14.813 --> 00:20:17.782 +00:23:22.566 --> 00:23:25.535 Now shut the fuck up and let me do my job! -00:20:18.650 --> 00:20:20.117 -- Look, Cockburn. +00:23:26.404 --> 00:23:27.871 +- Look, cockburn. - Yes. -00:20:20.219 --> 00:20:24.246 +00:23:27.972 --> 00:23:31.999 From now on, my fist is gonna be so far up your shithole -00:20:24.356 --> 00:20:25.721 +00:23:32.109 --> 00:23:33.509 that every time you have a thought, -00:20:25.824 --> 00:20:28.850 +00:23:33.577 --> 00:23:36.603 it's gonna have to tiptoe past my wedding ring. -00:20:28.961 --> 00:20:32.488 +00:23:36.714 --> 00:23:40.241 Take control of your actors, or I will shut you down. -00:20:32.598 --> 00:20:33.690 -Diet Coke! +00:23:40.351 --> 00:23:41.443 +Diet coke! -00:20:46.278 --> 00:20:48.974 +00:23:59.203 --> 00:24:01.398 +One week down, two weeks behind, + +00:24:01.505 --> 00:24:05.305 +gi Joe can't cry, don't matter 'cause you +ain't got the camera turned on anyway. + +00:24:05.409 --> 00:24:06.808 +Let's party! + +00:24:07.745 --> 00:24:09.645 +Man, you better get your shit straight, + +00:24:09.747 --> 00:24:12.614 +or I'll be on the next netjet out of here, +baby. You feel me? + +00:24:13.484 --> 00:24:14.484 +- You feel that? +- Yeah. + +00:24:14.552 --> 00:24:17.077 +Here comes another. +There we go. Now what? + +00:24:17.455 --> 00:24:19.787 +- Sandusky. Good. +- Hey, Mr. cockburn. + +00:24:19.890 --> 00:24:21.755 +We need to have a cast meeting +right now. + +00:24:21.859 --> 00:24:23.156 +- Right now? Awesome. +- Yes. + +00:24:23.260 --> 00:24:24.454 +You actually care, don't you? + +00:24:24.562 --> 00:24:27.156 +Yeah, it's a huge deal for me, +are you kidding? + +00:24:27.264 --> 00:24:29.232 +I've spent the past two years of my life + +00:24:29.333 --> 00:24:33.030 +living off residuals from a anti-herpes +medication commercial. + +00:24:33.137 --> 00:24:34.297 +I know, you're the only one +who auditioned, + +00:24:34.405 --> 00:24:35.963 +the only one who did +the two-week boot camp. + +00:24:36.073 --> 00:24:37.734 +Hey, hey, alpa. + +00:24:38.442 --> 00:24:40.910 +I'm the director. He's... +I need to speak to my actor. + +00:24:41.011 --> 00:24:42.239 +All right, hold up. Chino? + +00:24:42.346 --> 00:24:44.109 +What? Hell, yo. What's up, baby? + +00:24:45.049 --> 00:24:46.539 +This about +the Booty sweat cross-promotion? + +00:24:46.650 --> 00:24:47.674 +No, it's about the film. + +00:24:47.785 --> 00:24:49.776 +Oh, the film and Booty sweat's +the same thing. Give him a shot. + +00:24:50.154 --> 00:24:52.281 +Hey, how you doing, Jeff? + +00:24:52.390 --> 00:24:55.848 +- Who are you? +- That's awesome, man. + +00:24:58.129 --> 00:25:02.862 +Kevin. Kevin sandusky. I play Brooklyn, +we've been working together. + +00:25:02.967 --> 00:25:04.559 +Oh, right, right. I like you. + +00:25:04.668 --> 00:25:06.636 +Man, it's a real honor to be here... + +00:25:06.737 --> 00:25:08.034 +I can tell it's gonna be +a good experience. + +00:25:08.139 --> 00:25:09.339 +I'm really having a good time. + +00:25:09.373 --> 00:25:11.000 +Hey, can you help me out, man? +I'm looking for this guy. + +00:25:11.108 --> 00:25:15.272 +The grip with the bandana. +He's got a package for me. + +00:25:15.746 --> 00:25:18.146 +There he is, fucker. Dragon! + +00:25:19.250 --> 00:25:21.081 +What the fuck? Oh, buddy! + +00:25:21.218 --> 00:25:22.583 +I'm gonna go shoot a video, right? + +00:25:22.686 --> 00:25:24.813 +I'm gonna have v.C. Soldiers +in the video + +00:25:24.922 --> 00:25:26.219 +doing the noodle-legs, Damien. + +00:25:26.323 --> 00:25:30.692 +Hell, yeah, do it. V.C. Soldiers doing +the hip-hop bunny hop, Damien. + +00:25:30.928 --> 00:25:32.688 +It's good, I love it, great. +But I need to... + +00:25:32.696 --> 00:25:35.688 +V.C. Soldiers doing the seizure, baby. +Hit it, baby. + +00:25:35.833 --> 00:25:37.494 +Hell yeah, get it. Get it, cornbread. + +00:25:39.670 --> 00:25:40.830 +Alpa! + +00:25:40.938 --> 00:25:42.418 +Yo, check it out. Donny on the phone. + +00:25:42.473 --> 00:25:43.473 +Hello? Yo, yo, Donny! + +00:25:43.541 --> 00:25:45.661 +Can we call him back? +I've got to have a cast meeting. + +00:25:49.146 --> 00:25:51.478 +When we put aside our differences, + +00:25:51.582 --> 00:25:54.449 +we see we're kind of the same. + +00:25:55.352 --> 00:25:58.879 +When we put aside our differences, +we see + +00:26:00.558 --> 00:26:02.423 +we're kind of the same. + +00:26:03.194 --> 00:26:04.991 +Let's be friends. + +00:26:05.296 --> 00:26:07.924 +I know we can do great things together. + +00:26:10.034 --> 00:26:13.800 +That's a quotation from +a children's book I co-wrote, + +00:26:14.572 --> 00:26:16.699 +the boy everybody was jealous of. + +00:26:16.807 --> 00:26:18.536 +I think it pertains to the journey... + +00:26:18.642 --> 00:26:19.973 +Simple Jack sucked ass! + +00:26:21.045 --> 00:26:23.445 +All right, who said that? It's not funny. + +00:26:23.547 --> 00:26:25.310 +Whoever it is, it's not funny, okay? + +00:26:32.623 --> 00:26:35.319 When the herd loses its way, -00:20:49.081 --> 00:20:53.518 -the shepherd must kill +00:26:35.426 --> 00:26:39.863 +the Shepherd must kill the bull that leads them astray. -00:20:55.354 --> 00:20:58.619 -- Four Leaf? +00:26:41.699 --> 00:26:44.964 +- Four leaf? - Come on over. It's okay. -00:21:00.292 --> 00:21:01.782 +00:26:46.637 --> 00:26:48.127 - Sit down. - Yes. -00:21:03.195 --> 00:21:08.292 +00:26:49.540 --> 00:26:54.637 - So, you don't like the hotel? - Beds give me nightmares. -00:21:13.338 --> 00:21:18.537 +00:26:59.683 --> 00:27:04.882 I'm guessing right about now you couldn't find a Dixie coonskin -00:21:18.644 --> 00:21:22.978 +00:27:04.989 --> 00:27:09.323 with an Ohio hooker holding your prick and showing you the way. -00:21:29.788 --> 00:21:31.119 +00:27:16.133 --> 00:27:17.464 What? -00:21:31.223 --> 00:21:35.159 -I put my story in your limp Brit hands, +00:27:17.701 --> 00:27:19.293 +You're a riddle -00:21:35.260 --> 00:21:38.696 +00:27:20.804 --> 00:27:23.739 +with no cheese to maze through. + +00:27:25.643 --> 00:27:26.643 +Don't you get it? + +00:27:26.710 --> 00:27:30.441 +No, I don't. I'm a cock of the mouse +or something. I don't know. + +00:27:30.548 --> 00:27:34.484 +I put my story in your limp brit hands, + +00:27:34.585 --> 00:27:38.021 and you are not going to fail me. -00:21:38.797 --> 00:21:42.392 +00:27:38.122 --> 00:27:41.717 You think I was just blowing my own bagpipe in that meeting? -00:21:42.501 --> 00:21:46.335 +00:27:41.825 --> 00:27:45.659 You must put those boys in the shit. -00:21:46.438 --> 00:21:47.996 +00:27:45.763 --> 00:27:47.321 What? I don't understand. -00:21:48.106 --> 00:21:51.371 +00:27:47.431 --> 00:27:50.696 - You wanna make your movie or not? - Yes, I do. -00:21:51.476 --> 00:21:54.968 +00:27:50.801 --> 00:27:54.293 All right, you get some of those little video type cameras. -00:21:55.080 --> 00:21:58.709 +00:27:54.405 --> 00:27:58.034 We take them out there, and we put them in the trees in different angles. -00:21:58.817 --> 00:22:02.116 +00:27:58.142 --> 00:28:01.475 Then you give me and that pyromaniac Cody -00:22:02.220 --> 00:22:07.089 +00:28:01.579 --> 00:28:06.448 all the smoke bombs, charges, explosives, detonators you got. -00:22:07.192 --> 00:22:09.626 +00:28:06.550 --> 00:28:08.984 Then we take those boys up there, -00:22:09.728 --> 00:22:12.822 +00:28:09.086 --> 00:28:12.180 me and Cody, we could light up that fucking jungle, -00:22:12.931 --> 00:22:15.866 +00:28:12.289 --> 00:28:15.224 so those lily-dick actors would be shitting their pants -00:22:15.967 --> 00:22:17.958 +00:28:15.326 --> 00:28:17.317 and screaming for their mammies. -00:22:18.070 --> 00:22:21.528 +00:28:17.428 --> 00:28:20.886 They'd be begging for a body bag if it means a ride home. -00:22:24.376 --> 00:22:25.900 +00:28:23.734 --> 00:28:25.258 I could do it. -00:22:26.678 --> 00:22:30.114 +00:28:26.036 --> 00:28:29.472 I could shoot the whole thing guerrilla style. Gritty, dirty. -00:22:30.215 --> 00:22:33.548 +00:28:29.573 --> 00:28:32.906 Get them away from their helpers and ass-licking assistants. -00:22:33.652 --> 00:22:34.744 +00:28:33.010 --> 00:28:34.102 Put them in the real shit. -00:22:34.853 --> 00:22:36.047 +00:28:34.211 --> 00:28:35.405 - Real shit. - With real fear in their eyes! -00:22:36.154 --> 00:22:39.214 +00:28:35.512 --> 00:28:38.572 Real fear, real emotion! -Yes, Four Leaf, yes! +Yes, four leaf, yes! -00:22:39.324 --> 00:22:41.417 +00:28:38.682 --> 00:28:40.775 - Yes! Yes! - Yes! Yes! -00:22:41.526 --> 00:22:43.289 +00:28:40.884 --> 00:28:42.647 Take them off the fucking grid! -00:23:00.746 --> 00:23:03.510 +00:29:00.104 --> 00:29:02.868 You are no longer actors in a movie! -00:23:04.616 --> 00:23:07.346 +00:29:03.974 --> 00:29:06.704 You are five men in a helicopter! -00:23:09.121 --> 00:23:10.884 +00:29:08.479 --> 00:29:10.242 With three other men! -00:23:16.528 --> 00:23:18.052 +00:29:15.886 --> 00:29:17.410 How long are we gonna be gone, anyways? -00:23:18.163 --> 00:23:22.224 +00:29:17.521 --> 00:29:21.582 'Cause I left most of my vitamins back at the hotel. -00:23:22.334 --> 00:23:24.894 +00:29:21.692 --> 00:29:24.252 - Save your breath, maggots! - That's right, maggots! -00:23:48.059 --> 00:23:50.721 +00:29:36.340 --> 00:29:37.602 +M&M? + +00:29:39.510 --> 00:29:40.807 +M&M? + +00:30:00.597 --> 00:30:04.133 Go, go, go! Get out of the chopper! -00:23:52.030 --> 00:23:55.193 +00:30:04.568 --> 00:30:07.731 Move it, maggots, move! Move, grunts, move your ass! -00:23:55.300 --> 00:23:57.598 +00:30:07.838 --> 00:30:10.136 Get out, you wriggly worms! -00:23:57.702 --> 00:24:00.170 +00:30:10.240 --> 00:30:12.708 - It's up too high! - Move, move, move! -00:24:03.642 --> 00:24:05.371 +00:30:16.180 --> 00:30:17.909 See you in hell! -00:24:16.888 --> 00:24:21.086 +00:30:29.426 --> 00:30:33.624 This is bullshit! I gotta at least call my fucking assistant. -00:24:22.360 --> 00:24:25.090 +00:30:34.898 --> 00:30:37.628 Fucking! Jesus! Dude! -00:24:26.565 --> 00:24:28.795 +00:30:39.103 --> 00:30:41.333 You're sitting on a nest -of hostile enemy V.C. +of hostile enemy v.C. -00:24:28.900 --> 00:24:32.336 -Congratulations, Fats. +00:30:41.438 --> 00:30:44.874 +Congratulations, fats. You just got us all killed. -00:24:33.338 --> 00:24:36.933 +00:30:45.876 --> 00:30:49.471 Anybody else care to give away our position to Charlie? -00:24:37.042 --> 00:24:38.805 +00:30:49.580 --> 00:30:51.343 Cell phones! -00:24:38.910 --> 00:24:40.377 +00:30:51.448 --> 00:30:52.915 What the hell, Damien? -00:24:40.479 --> 00:24:44.176 +00:30:53.016 --> 00:30:56.713 Weren't no cell phones in '69, man. I'm head-to-toe legitimate. -00:24:44.282 --> 00:24:47.683 +00:30:56.820 --> 00:31:00.221 Gentlemen, I've got good news and bad news. -00:24:47.786 --> 00:24:51.278 +00:31:00.324 --> 00:31:03.816 The studio wants to shut us down. That's the bad news. -00:24:51.423 --> 00:24:53.721 +00:31:03.961 --> 00:31:06.259 And the good news. -00:24:53.825 --> 00:24:56.726 +00:31:06.363 --> 00:31:09.264 If you wanna save this movie, you will become a unit. -00:24:56.828 --> 00:25:00.594 +00:31:09.366 --> 00:31:13.132 Your objective is to head north -to the D'ang Kwook River +to the d'ang kwook river -00:25:00.699 --> 00:25:02.189 -and liberate the POW camp, +00:31:13.237 --> 00:31:14.727 +and liberate the pow camp, -00:25:02.300 --> 00:25:05.565 -at which point Four Leaf +00:31:14.838 --> 00:31:18.103 +at which point four leaf will get himself captured, -00:25:05.670 --> 00:25:07.467 +00:31:18.208 --> 00:31:20.005 at which point you will rescue him, -00:25:07.572 --> 00:25:10.939 +00:31:20.110 --> 00:31:23.477 at which point we will chopper you home! -00:25:12.143 --> 00:25:13.235 +00:31:24.681 --> 00:31:25.773 Damn. -00:25:13.345 --> 00:25:15.142 -Four Leaf, +00:31:25.883 --> 00:31:27.680 +Four leaf, since you're the staff sergeant, -00:25:15.247 --> 00:25:17.647 +00:31:27.785 --> 00:31:30.185 there's the map, this is the scene list. -00:25:17.749 --> 00:25:19.876 +00:31:30.287 --> 00:31:32.414 Think you can handle it? -00:25:19.985 --> 00:25:24.183 +00:31:32.523 --> 00:31:36.721 We have rigged this entire valley of death with hidden cameras. -00:25:25.657 --> 00:25:29.286 +00:31:38.195 --> 00:31:41.824 And I will be shooting as well, from unseen vantage points, -00:25:29.394 --> 00:25:32.989 +00:31:41.932 --> 00:31:45.527 so that every glorious moment is captured on film. -00:25:34.266 --> 00:25:37.429 +00:31:46.804 --> 00:31:49.967 And believe me, gentlemen, it will be glorious. -00:25:37.536 --> 00:25:40.061 +00:31:50.073 --> 00:31:52.598 If it looks real, chances are it probably is. -00:25:40.171 --> 00:25:41.763 +00:31:52.709 --> 00:31:54.301 You wanted to be actors. -00:25:41.873 --> 00:25:44.467 +00:31:54.411 --> 00:31:57.005 You wanted to occupy the skin of another human being. -00:25:44.576 --> 00:25:47.568 +00:31:57.114 --> 00:32:00.106 Well, get ready to occupy the skin -of a terrified U.S. Infantry grunt, +of a terrified U.S. infantry grunt, -00:25:47.679 --> 00:25:51.445 +00:32:00.217 --> 00:32:03.983 surrounded by death, crawling up Satan's bottom. -00:25:52.484 --> 00:25:57.183 +00:32:05.022 --> 00:32:09.721 There'll be ambushes, enemy fire, -your own little personal slice of 'Nam. +your own little personal slice of 'nam. -00:25:57.289 --> 00:26:01.885 +00:32:09.827 --> 00:32:14.423 This radio goes to the chopper and the chopper only. -00:26:01.993 --> 00:26:06.396 +00:32:14.531 --> 00:32:18.968 The chopper is God, and I am Jesus Christ, his son. -00:26:06.531 --> 00:26:09.227 +00:32:19.069 --> 00:32:21.765 You are my chosen disciples. -00:26:09.334 --> 00:26:12.360 +00:32:21.872 --> 00:32:24.898 And no one gets to go home till we get the shots. -00:26:12.470 --> 00:26:15.496 +00:32:25.008 --> 00:32:28.034 Put on your war faces, gentlemen. -00:26:15.607 --> 00:26:20.306 +00:32:28.145 --> 00:32:32.844 Now, let's go and make the greatest war movie ever! -00:26:20.412 --> 00:26:22.744 +00:32:32.950 --> 00:32:35.282 - Yeah! - All right! -00:26:41.499 --> 00:26:42.557 +00:32:54.037 --> 00:32:55.095 Yeah! -00:26:48.006 --> 00:26:49.064 +00:33:00.544 --> 00:33:01.602 Yeah! -00:27:01.620 --> 00:27:03.520 -Not bad, Cockburn! +00:33:14.157 --> 00:33:16.057 +Not bad, cockburn! -00:27:05.357 --> 00:27:06.551 +00:33:17.895 --> 00:33:19.089 Not bad. -00:27:08.259 --> 00:27:09.851 +00:33:20.797 --> 00:33:22.389 Wherever you are! -00:27:11.863 --> 00:27:14.923 +00:33:24.401 --> 00:33:27.461 Wherever he is? Looks like he's all over the place. -00:27:16.735 --> 00:27:18.635 +00:33:29.273 --> 00:33:31.173 Here we go. -00:27:18.737 --> 00:27:20.762 +00:33:31.275 --> 00:33:33.300 Must be an old French mine. -00:27:20.872 --> 00:27:24.330 -It's a remnant from colonial Indo-China. +00:33:33.410 --> 00:33:36.868 +It's a remnant from colonial indo-China. This jungle must be full of them. -00:27:26.411 --> 00:27:29.869 +00:33:38.949 --> 00:33:42.407 Don't you get it? He's messing with our heads. -00:27:29.981 --> 00:27:32.006 +00:33:42.519 --> 00:33:44.544 That's what all that playing God stuff was about. -00:27:32.117 --> 00:27:34.677 +00:33:44.655 --> 00:33:47.215 He's trying to get us to act good, save the movie. -00:27:34.786 --> 00:27:37.812 +00:33:47.324 --> 00:33:50.350 He ain't playing God. He's being judged by him. -00:27:41.826 --> 00:27:44.522 +00:33:54.364 --> 00:33:57.060 That's our objective. Complete the mission. -00:27:50.735 --> 00:27:53.636 -No offense, Kirk, +00:34:03.273 --> 00:34:06.174 +No offense, kirk, I know you're the big fancy actor here, -00:27:53.738 --> 00:27:57.640 +00:34:06.276 --> 00:34:10.178 but I've done a lot more effects-driven event films than you. Okay? -00:27:57.742 --> 00:27:59.141 +00:34:10.280 --> 00:34:11.679 And I think I can spot -00:28:01.246 --> 00:28:02.770 +00:34:13.784 --> 00:34:15.308 a prop head when I see one. -00:28:02.881 --> 00:28:04.371 +00:34:15.419 --> 00:34:16.909 Oh, Jesus. -00:28:05.583 --> 00:28:09.075 +00:34:18.121 --> 00:34:21.613 It's corn syrup, guys. Corn syrup and latex. -00:28:12.290 --> 00:28:15.418 +00:34:24.828 --> 00:34:27.956 Warm, blood-flavored corn syrup. -00:28:15.527 --> 00:28:16.653 +00:34:28.065 --> 00:34:29.191 Oh, God. -00:28:17.295 --> 00:28:20.231 +00:34:29.833 --> 00:34:32.961 Smoke and mirrors, guys. Welcome to the movie factory. -00:28:20.532 --> 00:28:21.726 +00:34:33.070 --> 00:34:34.264 Oldest trick in the book. -00:28:23.735 --> 00:28:25.032 +00:34:36.273 --> 00:34:37.570 He getting down now. -00:28:25.136 --> 00:28:26.501 +00:34:37.674 --> 00:34:39.039 Oh, my God! -00:28:29.307 --> 00:28:31.366 +00:34:41.845 --> 00:34:43.904 Whoa, look at me! -00:28:31.476 --> 00:28:32.943 +00:34:44.014 --> 00:34:45.481 You're going to get the shots, -00:28:33.044 --> 00:28:36.036 +00:34:45.582 --> 00:34:48.574 and I'm going to make sure because I'm the director. -00:28:36.147 --> 00:28:38.274 +00:34:48.685 --> 00:34:50.812 I'm from London. I direct plays. -00:28:38.383 --> 00:28:41.409 +00:34:50.921 --> 00:34:53.947 Hey, Damien! We got our war faces on! -00:28:51.296 --> 00:28:52.991 +00:35:03.967 --> 00:35:05.662 Look, I'm Dave Beckham. -00:29:02.774 --> 00:29:05.174 +00:35:15.312 --> 00:35:17.712 So, we gotta light these boys up today, huh? -00:29:05.276 --> 00:29:07.471 +00:35:17.814 --> 00:35:20.009 Blow some sense into these young men. -00:29:08.446 --> 00:29:11.347 +00:35:20.984 --> 00:35:23.885 Hey, I don't want to come off as weird or anything, -00:29:11.449 --> 00:29:15.385 +00:35:23.987 --> 00:35:27.923 but I might be your biggest fan. Yeah. -00:29:16.755 --> 00:29:20.247 -Tropic Thunder. -Kind of like my Catcher in the Rye. +00:35:29.292 --> 00:35:32.784 +Tropic thunder. +Kind of like my catcher in the rye. -00:29:21.493 --> 00:29:23.723 +00:35:34.031 --> 00:35:36.261 Yeah, I've never been in the military, per se, -00:29:23.828 --> 00:29:26.262 +00:35:36.366 --> 00:35:38.800 but I have lost an appendage in the line of duty. -00:29:28.066 --> 00:29:30.296 -Driving Miss Daisy, first studio gig. +00:35:40.604 --> 00:35:42.834 +Driving miss Daisy, first studio gig. -00:29:31.069 --> 00:29:32.127 +00:35:43.607 --> 00:35:44.665 Yeah. -00:29:32.637 --> 00:29:35.435 +00:35:45.175 --> 00:35:47.973 It's a pretty cool sidearm you got there. What is it? -00:29:35.540 --> 00:29:37.201 +00:35:48.078 --> 00:35:49.739 I don't know what it's called. -00:29:38.343 --> 00:29:43.076 +00:35:50.881 --> 00:35:55.614 I just know the sound it makes when it takes a man's life. -00:29:46.217 --> 00:29:47.275 +00:35:58.755 --> 00:35:59.813 Okay. -00:29:47.852 --> 00:29:49.080 +00:36:00.390 --> 00:36:01.630 Damien, we're go for explosion. -00:29:49.187 --> 00:29:51.985 +00:36:01.725 --> 00:36:04.523 Ready to kick the tires and light the fires on your say-so. -00:29:52.090 --> 00:29:53.819 +00:36:04.628 --> 00:36:06.357 Damien, we're go for explosion. -00:29:54.959 --> 00:29:55.983 +00:36:07.497 --> 00:36:08.521 Do you copy? -00:29:56.094 --> 00:29:58.961 +00:36:08.632 --> 00:36:11.499 I got an itchy trigger finger here, and I'm ready to blow some shit up. -00:29:59.063 --> 00:30:02.692 +00:36:11.601 --> 00:36:15.230 All right, you happy now? Can we do the scene? -00:30:02.801 --> 00:30:05.429 +00:36:15.338 --> 00:36:17.966 Or do you need a formal invitation? Come on, let's go! -00:30:07.238 --> 00:30:08.330 +00:36:19.776 --> 00:36:20.868 Here. Okay. -00:30:08.439 --> 00:30:10.634 +00:36:20.977 --> 00:36:23.172 "Scene 12, exterior, jungle clearing, day, ambush. -00:30:16.181 --> 00:30:18.115 -"Four Leaf notices +00:36:28.718 --> 00:36:30.652 +"Four leaf notices movement in the brush. -00:30:18.216 --> 00:30:21.242 +00:36:30.754 --> 00:36:33.780 "A dozen guerrilla fighters can be seen moving in the tree line. -00:30:21.352 --> 00:30:23.912 +00:36:33.890 --> 00:36:36.450 "Somewhere a mine explodes." And you. -00:30:25.256 --> 00:30:27.281 +00:36:37.794 --> 00:36:39.819 "I got a bad feeling on this one." -00:30:27.392 --> 00:30:28.882 +00:36:39.930 --> 00:36:41.420 - Yeah. - No, that's your line. -00:30:28.993 --> 00:30:31.860 -- I got... Now? +00:36:41.531 --> 00:36:44.398 +- I got... now? - Yeah, but scared. Like, scared. -00:30:31.963 --> 00:30:34.693 +00:36:44.501 --> 00:36:47.231 - "I got a bad feeling on this one." - Dude, wait, like how? -00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:36.630 +00:36:47.337 --> 00:36:49.168 "I got a bad feeling on this one." -00:30:36.734 --> 00:30:38.827 +00:36:49.272 --> 00:36:51.365 - Okay. - Action. Go, come on. -00:30:47.846 --> 00:30:50.713 +00:37:00.383 --> 00:37:03.250 I got a bad feeling -on this one there, Fats. +on this one there, fats. -00:30:52.050 --> 00:30:55.451 +00:37:04.588 --> 00:37:07.989 Our asses don't get fragged in this bullshit valley, -00:30:55.553 --> 00:30:57.384 +00:37:08.091 --> 00:37:09.922 first thing I'm doing -is paying my 2 bucks +is paying my two bucks -00:30:57.488 --> 00:30:59.115 +00:37:10.026 --> 00:37:11.653 so I can watch Brooklyn bust his cherry -00:30:59.224 --> 00:31:01.920 -on a sweet little mama-san's +00:37:11.761 --> 00:37:14.457 +on a sweet little mama-San's dinky dau poontang. -00:31:02.026 --> 00:31:04.927 +00:37:14.564 --> 00:37:17.465 Shit, Brooklyn be bagged and tagged before he get any cooch. -00:31:05.029 --> 00:31:08.260 +00:37:17.567 --> 00:37:20.798 He die, he probably die a coochless motherfucker. -00:31:08.366 --> 00:31:10.095 -Zip it, Motown. +00:37:20.904 --> 00:37:22.303 +Zip it, motown. -00:31:10.201 --> 00:31:11.793 +00:37:22.405 --> 00:37:23.963 +Don't you worry, Brooklyn. + +00:37:24.074 --> 00:37:26.133 +You got a lot of days of fucking +ahead of you. + +00:37:28.245 --> 00:37:29.837 Man, I'm thirsty. -00:31:12.904 --> 00:31:17.864 +00:37:30.947 --> 00:37:35.907 Might as well have some of this -Booty Sweat I got back in Danang. +Booty sweat I got back in danang. -00:31:18.743 --> 00:31:22.235 +00:37:36.786 --> 00:37:40.278 Yo, asshole! This motherfucker's dead! -00:31:22.347 --> 00:31:24.144 -Ain't no Criss Angel Mindfreak, +00:37:40.390 --> 00:37:42.187 +Ain't no criss angel mindfreak, -00:31:24.249 --> 00:31:27.582 +00:37:42.292 --> 00:37:45.625 David Blaine trapdoor horseshit jumping off here! -00:31:27.685 --> 00:31:31.451 +00:37:45.729 --> 00:37:49.495 Hey! You wanna get on the train here, or do you wanna ruin another take? -00:31:31.556 --> 00:31:34.889 +00:37:49.599 --> 00:37:52.932 There ain't no goddamn takes, ain't no goddamn motion picture! -00:31:35.860 --> 00:31:37.623 +00:37:53.904 --> 00:37:55.667 - You sure? - Yeah. -00:31:37.729 --> 00:31:39.526 +00:37:55.772 --> 00:37:57.569 - Yeah? - For certain, man. -00:31:39.631 --> 00:31:41.531 +00:37:57.674 --> 00:37:59.574 Then why are you still in character? -00:31:43.101 --> 00:31:45.069 +00:38:01.144 --> 00:38:03.112 I know, but I don't have to tell you. -00:31:46.204 --> 00:31:47.262 +00:38:04.247 --> 00:38:05.305 You don't know. -00:31:47.372 --> 00:31:50.307 +00:38:05.415 --> 00:38:08.350 Man, I don't drop character till I done a DVD commentary. -00:31:53.077 --> 00:31:55.238 +00:38:11.121 --> 00:38:13.282 You happy now? We're out of position for the effects! -00:31:55.346 --> 00:31:57.075 +00:38:13.390 --> 00:38:15.119 Get down, fool! -00:31:58.783 --> 00:32:01.684 +00:38:16.826 --> 00:38:19.727 Didn't anyone read the script? This is the ambush! -00:32:03.087 --> 00:32:06.750 +00:38:21.131 --> 00:38:24.794 - This feels pretty real! - Exactly! Let's use it. -00:32:17.368 --> 00:32:18.528 +00:38:35.412 --> 00:38:36.572 Yeah! -00:32:19.804 --> 00:32:21.169 +00:38:37.847 --> 00:38:39.212 Yeah! -00:32:23.775 --> 00:32:25.037 +00:38:41.818 --> 00:38:43.080 Eat lead! -00:32:27.011 --> 00:32:29.377 +00:38:45.055 --> 00:38:47.421 They're busting caps like a motherfucker down there. -00:32:32.650 --> 00:32:34.743 -This is FUBAR. I say we juice them. +00:38:50.694 --> 00:38:52.787 +This is fubar. I say we juice them. -00:32:34.852 --> 00:32:36.342 +00:38:52.896 --> 00:38:54.386 - What do you think? - Juice them. -00:32:38.756 --> 00:32:41.247 +00:38:56.800 --> 00:38:59.291 Fuck you, Charlie! -00:32:43.328 --> 00:32:44.795 +00:39:01.371 --> 00:39:02.838 Big-ass titties! -00:32:50.768 --> 00:32:52.395 +00:39:08.812 --> 00:39:10.439 Look at that, huh? -00:32:57.675 --> 00:32:58.869 +00:39:15.719 --> 00:39:16.913 And cut! -00:33:01.145 --> 00:33:02.976 +00:39:19.189 --> 00:39:21.020 That's the trailer right there. -00:33:03.081 --> 00:33:04.378 +00:39:21.124 --> 00:39:22.421 Yeah! -00:33:04.482 --> 00:33:06.746 +00:39:22.525 --> 00:39:24.789 - What do we do now? - Yeah. -00:33:06.851 --> 00:33:08.375 +00:39:24.894 --> 00:39:26.418 North. Man said to head north. -00:33:08.486 --> 00:33:11.819 +00:39:26.529 --> 00:39:29.862 - Did you see me shooting? - That's how we do. Good work, baby. -00:33:11.923 --> 00:33:12.981 +00:39:29.966 --> 00:39:31.024 I believed it. -00:33:13.091 --> 00:33:14.251 -D'ang Kwook River. +00:39:31.134 --> 00:39:32.294 +D'ang kwook river. -00:33:14.892 --> 00:33:16.291 +00:39:32.936 --> 00:39:34.335 I'm betting he's got more of these battles -00:33:16.394 --> 00:33:19.124 -and Viet Congs +00:39:34.437 --> 00:39:37.167 +and viet congs rigged for us along the way. -00:33:19.230 --> 00:33:22.996 -Sergeant Osiris, get your men. +00:39:37.274 --> 00:39:41.040 +Sergeant osiris, get your men. Load and lock. -00:33:23.668 --> 00:33:25.431 +00:39:41.711 --> 00:39:43.474 Real, baby, I'm real. -00:33:26.504 --> 00:33:29.302 +00:39:44.547 --> 00:39:47.345 Let's go! We got a lot of klicks to cover! -00:33:30.441 --> 00:33:33.467 +00:39:48.485 --> 00:39:51.511 Hump it up, gentlemen! Single formation. -00:33:33.578 --> 00:33:35.409 +00:39:51.621 --> 00:39:53.452 Don't dawdle now! -00:33:59.537 --> 00:34:03.803 -D-Rod, D-Rod, this is Puddingface. +00:40:17.580 --> 00:40:21.846 +D-rod, d-rod, this is puddingface. How are we coming on that hotplate? -00:34:06.444 --> 00:34:09.743 +00:40:24.487 --> 00:40:27.786 Something's up. I think we better drag ass back there. -00:34:09.847 --> 00:34:12.543 +00:40:27.891 --> 00:40:30.587 Make sure Damien ain't forgot how to use his talkbox again. -00:34:20.291 --> 00:34:23.260 +00:40:38.335 --> 00:40:41.304 Yeah, baby, come on. Just a little taste. -00:34:24.862 --> 00:34:26.989 +00:40:42.906 --> 00:40:45.033 - What are you doing, Jeff? -- Fucking... Nothing, man! +- Fucking... nothing, man! -00:34:27.098 --> 00:34:30.431 +00:40:45.141 --> 00:40:48.474 - I'm eating jellybeans. - Wow, I love jellybeans. Can I please... -00:34:30.535 --> 00:34:33.265 +00:40:48.578 --> 00:40:51.308 No, you can't have any fucking jellybeans. -00:34:33.371 --> 00:34:34.463 +00:40:51.414 --> 00:40:52.506 They're mine. -00:34:34.572 --> 00:34:35.732 +00:40:52.615 --> 00:40:53.775 You think you're the only one who gets sick -00:34:35.840 --> 00:34:37.535 +00:40:53.883 --> 00:40:55.578 when he doesn't have his jellybeans? -00:34:37.642 --> 00:34:39.041 +00:40:55.685 --> 00:40:57.084 Boundaries, man. Fuck. -00:34:58.963 --> 00:35:01.659 +00:41:17.006 --> 00:41:19.702 Hey. I didn't mean to show you up back there. -00:35:01.766 --> 00:35:05.896 +00:41:19.809 --> 00:41:23.939 It's just, I feel like we really need to set the example for the other guys. -00:35:06.003 --> 00:35:07.903 +00:41:24.047 --> 00:41:25.947 It's gonna be tough, -00:35:08.005 --> 00:35:11.031 +00:41:26.049 --> 00:41:29.075 but I think Damien's gonna get some great shit out of us. -00:35:12.577 --> 00:35:14.306 +00:41:30.620 --> 00:41:32.380 Just wish I had a director like this on Jack. -00:35:14.412 --> 00:35:16.903 +00:41:32.455 --> 00:41:34.946 On Jack. What? Jack? What you talking about? -00:35:18.116 --> 00:35:20.084 +00:41:36.159 --> 00:41:38.127 - Simple Jack. - Oh, yeah. -00:35:21.586 --> 00:35:24.817 +00:41:39.629 --> 00:41:42.860 Simple Jack, yeah. You went all out on that one, huh? -00:35:24.922 --> 00:35:27.186 +00:41:42.966 --> 00:41:45.230 You did. Really swung for the fences, huh? -00:35:27.291 --> 00:35:29.691 +00:41:45.335 --> 00:41:47.735 Thank you. Thanks. Yeah. -00:35:29.794 --> 00:35:32.695 +00:41:47.837 --> 00:41:50.738 Yeah, it was an intense experience, you know. -00:35:33.397 --> 00:35:35.490 +00:41:51.441 --> 00:41:53.534 I just did the work. -00:35:35.600 --> 00:35:39.400 +00:41:53.643 --> 00:41:57.443 Watched a lot of retarded people. Spent time with them. Observed them. -00:35:40.705 --> 00:35:42.866 +00:41:58.748 --> 00:42:00.909 Watched all the retarded stuff they did. -00:35:42.974 --> 00:35:44.737 +00:42:01.017 --> 00:42:02.780 Then again, I always found mere observation -00:35:44.842 --> 00:35:47.140 +00:42:02.886 --> 00:42:05.184 in and of itself is a tad rudimentary. -00:35:47.245 --> 00:35:50.305 +00:42:05.288 --> 00:42:08.348 Sometimes, we gotta dig deeper to mine the true emotional pay dirt. -00:35:50.414 --> 00:35:54.748 +00:42:08.458 --> 00:42:12.792 Thus, we can diagram the source of the pain and then live it, you know. -00:35:54.852 --> 00:35:56.911 +00:42:12.896 --> 00:42:14.955 Yeah, yeah, live it. Yeah, exactly. -00:35:57.021 --> 00:35:59.751 +00:42:15.064 --> 00:42:17.794 You know, there were times when I was doing Jack -00:35:59.857 --> 00:36:02.325 +00:42:17.901 --> 00:42:20.369 that I actually felt retarded, -00:36:02.426 --> 00:36:03.694 +00:42:20.470 --> 00:42:21.835 - like really retarded. +- Oh, yeah. + +00:42:21.938 --> 00:42:24.133 +I mean, I brushed my teeth retarded, + +00:42:24.240 --> 00:42:26.037 +- I rode the bus retarded. - Damn. -00:36:03.694 --> 00:36:04.319 -- Like really retarded. -- Damn. - -00:36:04.428 --> 00:36:07.659 +00:42:26.142 --> 00:42:29.373 In a weird way, I had to sort of just free myself up -00:36:07.765 --> 00:36:10.734 +00:42:29.479 --> 00:42:32.448 to believe that it was okay to be stupid or dumb. -00:36:10.835 --> 00:36:12.393 +00:42:32.549 --> 00:42:34.107 - To be a moron. - Yeah. -00:36:12.503 --> 00:36:15.233 +00:42:34.217 --> 00:42:36.947 - To be moronical. - Exactly, to be a moron. -00:36:15.339 --> 00:36:16.704 +00:42:37.053 --> 00:42:38.418 - An imbecile. - Yeah. -00:36:16.807 --> 00:36:19.674 +00:42:38.521 --> 00:42:41.388 Like the dumbest motherfucker that ever lived. -00:36:19.777 --> 00:36:20.937 +00:42:41.491 --> 00:42:42.651 When I was playing the character. -00:36:21.045 --> 00:36:23.639 +00:42:42.759 --> 00:42:45.353 - When you was the character. - Yeah, as Jack, definitely. -00:36:23.748 --> 00:36:25.978 +00:42:45.462 --> 00:42:47.657 Jack, stupid ass Jack. -00:36:26.083 --> 00:36:27.812 -By the end of the whole thing, I was like, +00:42:47.764 --> 00:42:49.026 +Trying to come back from that. -00:36:27.919 --> 00:36:32.447 -"Wait a minute, I flushed so much out, +00:42:49.132 --> 00:42:53.262 +In a weird way it was almost like +I had to sort of fool my mind + +00:42:53.369 --> 00:42:56.338 +into believing that it wasn't retarded, + +00:42:56.439 --> 00:42:58.240 +and by the end of the whole thing, +I was like, + +00:42:58.274 --> 00:43:02.802 +"wait a minute, I flushed so much out, how am I gonna jumpstart it up again?" -00:36:32.557 --> 00:36:34.616 -- It's just like... Right? +00:43:02.912 --> 00:43:04.971 +- It's just like... right? - Yeah. -00:36:34.725 --> 00:36:37.489 +00:43:05.081 --> 00:43:07.845 You was farting in bathtubs and laughing your ass off. -00:36:37.595 --> 00:36:40.063 -Yeah. I mean, it was really quite a... -It was crazy. +00:43:07.951 --> 00:43:09.816 +Yeah. -00:36:40.164 --> 00:36:43.656 -It's like working with mercury. +00:43:09.919 --> 00:43:12.217 +But simple Jack thought he was smart, + +00:43:12.322 --> 00:43:13.619 +or rather, didn't think he was retarded, + +00:43:13.723 --> 00:43:16.590 +so you can't afford to play retarded, +being a smart actor. + +00:43:16.693 --> 00:43:19.184 +Playing a guy who ain't smart +but thinks he is, + +00:43:19.295 --> 00:43:20.922 +- that's tricky. +- Tricky. + +00:43:21.030 --> 00:43:24.557 +It's like working with Mercury. It's high science, man. It's an art form. -00:36:43.768 --> 00:36:45.793 +00:43:24.667 --> 00:43:26.692 - Yeah. - You an artist. -00:36:45.903 --> 00:36:47.700 +00:43:26.803 --> 00:43:28.600 - That's what we do, right? Yeah. - Yeah. -00:36:47.805 --> 00:36:49.067 +00:43:28.705 --> 00:43:29.967 Hats off for going there, -00:36:49.173 --> 00:36:51.903 +00:43:30.073 --> 00:43:32.803 especially knowing how -the Academy is about that shit. +the academy is about that shit. -00:36:55.613 --> 00:36:59.140 +00:43:36.513 --> 00:43:40.040 - About what? - You're serious? You don't know? -00:37:01.352 --> 00:37:03.377 +00:43:42.252 --> 00:43:44.277 Everybody knows you never go full retard. -00:37:04.922 --> 00:37:07.015 +00:43:45.822 --> 00:43:47.915 - What do you mean? - Check it out. -00:37:07.158 --> 00:37:11.254 -Dustin Hoffman, Rain Man, looked +00:43:48.057 --> 00:43:52.153 +Dustin Hoffman, rain man, looked retarded, act retarded, not retarded. -00:37:11.362 --> 00:37:15.458 +00:43:52.262 --> 00:43:56.358 Count toothpicks, cheat at cards. Autistic, sure. Not retarded. -00:37:16.334 --> 00:37:18.199 -Then you got Tom Hanks, +00:43:57.233 --> 00:43:59.098 +Then you got tom Hanks, Forrest Gump. -00:37:18.302 --> 00:37:20.600 +00:43:59.202 --> 00:44:01.500 Slow, yes, retarded, maybe, braces on his legs. -00:37:20.705 --> 00:37:23.606 +00:44:01.604 --> 00:44:04.505 But he charmed the pants off Nixon, -and he won a Ping-Pong competition. +and he won a ping-pong competition. -00:37:23.708 --> 00:37:24.902 +00:44:04.607 --> 00:44:05.631 That ain't retarded. -00:37:26.010 --> 00:37:29.002 -Peter Sellers, Being There. -Infantile, yes. Retarded, no. +00:44:05.775 --> 00:44:09.711 +And he was a goddamn war hero. +You know any retarded war heroes? -00:37:30.748 --> 00:37:32.739 +00:44:11.648 --> 00:44:13.639 You went full retard, man. -00:37:34.085 --> 00:37:35.450 +00:44:15.184 --> 00:44:16.549 Never go full retard. -00:37:36.454 --> 00:37:40.015 +00:44:17.554 --> 00:44:21.115 You don't buy that? -Ask Sean Penn, 2001, I Am Sam. +Ask Sean penn, 2001, I am Sam. -00:37:40.124 --> 00:37:43.423 +00:44:21.224 --> 00:44:24.523 Remember? Went full retard? Went home empty-handed. -00:37:53.271 --> 00:37:56.468 +00:44:34.370 --> 00:44:37.567 Oh, my God! Holy shit! -00:37:57.141 --> 00:37:59.837 +00:44:38.241 --> 00:44:40.937 Good job, turd. You killed the director. -00:37:59.944 --> 00:38:01.206 +00:44:41.044 --> 00:44:42.306 No, that's impossible, man. -00:38:01.312 --> 00:38:04.179 +00:44:42.412 --> 00:44:45.279 I rigged the whole tree line, and this is here. -00:38:04.315 --> 00:38:05.839 +00:44:45.415 --> 00:44:46.939 - He must have missed his mark. - Missed his mark? -00:38:05.950 --> 00:38:07.178 +00:44:47.050 --> 00:44:48.278 Yeah, this isn't me. -00:38:07.285 --> 00:38:10.083 +00:44:48.384 --> 00:44:51.182 Come on, let's bag and tag the bastard and get back to the hotel. -00:38:10.187 --> 00:38:12.883 +00:44:51.287 --> 00:44:53.983 - You're in a world of hurt, dumbo! - We're in a world of hurt! -00:38:12.990 --> 00:38:15.185 +00:44:54.090 --> 00:44:56.285 - You're in trouble. - This isn't just on me! -00:38:15.293 --> 00:38:17.523 -- We're in a... We're together on this. +00:44:56.392 --> 00:44:58.622 +- We're in a... we're together on this. - Bullshit. -00:38:17.628 --> 00:38:19.095 +00:44:58.728 --> 00:45:00.195 You're just gonna run away. You're gonna leave. -00:38:19.196 --> 00:38:20.857 +00:45:00.296 --> 00:45:02.056 What happened to, -"No man left behind," okay? +"no man left behind," okay? -00:38:20.965 --> 00:38:23.229 +00:45:02.065 --> 00:45:04.329 Just wait, just wait! Listen! Listen, okay? -00:38:23.334 --> 00:38:26.064 +00:45:04.434 --> 00:45:07.164 - I don't wanna hear it. - Let me just be real with you, all right? -00:38:26.170 --> 00:38:29.469 +00:45:07.270 --> 00:45:10.569 I almost blinded Jamie Lee Curtis -on Freaky Friday, okay? +on freaky Friday, okay? -00:38:29.573 --> 00:38:30.904 +00:45:10.673 --> 00:45:12.004 This shit will fucking ruin me! -00:38:31.008 --> 00:38:32.908 +00:45:12.108 --> 00:45:14.068 - Just get off me! You're pathetic. - No, I'm not. -00:38:33.010 --> 00:38:35.478 +00:45:14.110 --> 00:45:16.578 - Get off me! - You are not going back! -00:38:38.849 --> 00:38:40.783 +00:45:19.949 --> 00:45:21.883 - What the fuck? - Now wait a minute. -00:38:58.569 --> 00:39:00.127 +00:45:32.261 --> 00:45:34.957 +So, what? +We're just supposed to keep walking? + +00:45:35.064 --> 00:45:37.931 +Try to stay in character. +Remember, we're on camera. + +00:45:38.067 --> 00:45:39.067 +This thing's too heavy. + +00:45:39.135 --> 00:45:40.568 +I want the rubber one +that the prop guy gave me. + +00:45:40.670 --> 00:45:42.934 +Where's the fucking prop guy? + +00:45:47.910 --> 00:45:50.504 +How's it going with that map, chief? + +00:45:50.613 --> 00:45:53.207 +- Can I have a look at it? +- I got it. + +00:45:53.316 --> 00:45:54.874 +Yeah, Damien gave it to me, +remember? + +00:45:54.984 --> 00:45:56.474 +Yeah, but he gave it to you for us. + +00:45:56.586 --> 00:45:58.213 +- Yeah. +- Okay. + +00:45:58.321 --> 00:46:00.846 +- I got it. +- You got it upside down. + +00:46:00.990 --> 00:46:01.990 +Thank you. + +00:46:02.091 --> 00:46:03.649 +Letters go one way +and the numbers another. + +00:46:03.760 --> 00:46:05.318 +Dude, I'm trying to... +I got your back, man. + +00:46:05.428 --> 00:46:07.191 +- Well, I'm cool. All right, I'm cool. +- You are? + +00:46:07.296 --> 00:46:09.161 +Is your character dyslexic? + +00:46:09.265 --> 00:46:10.994 +- No, my character's not dyslexic. +- So you a cartographer. + +00:46:11.100 --> 00:46:12.931 +I'm tired, I want to go home. + +00:46:13.036 --> 00:46:15.596 +Why, so you can get back and make +fatties: Fart 20, or some shit? + +00:46:15.672 --> 00:46:18.607 +It's fatties: Fart two, there's no... hey, +you wish you had a fatties franchise. + +00:46:18.708 --> 00:46:19.988 +- What? +- It's fatties: Fart two. + +00:46:20.043 --> 00:46:21.271 +- Yeah, you do. +- I don't want no fatties franchise, + +00:46:21.377 --> 00:46:23.777 +- I got a diamond toilet. +- Your stupid-ass commercials. + +00:46:23.880 --> 00:46:25.347 +You're all fucked up, man, +you look tired. + +00:46:25.448 --> 00:46:26.574 +You look like you bumped your head +or something, + +00:46:26.683 --> 00:46:28.514 +so I came over to see +if you're fucking all right, that's all. + +00:46:28.618 --> 00:46:30.643 +- Yeah, why don't you get on point? +- I'm on point right here. + +00:46:30.753 --> 00:46:31.777 +My farts +are fucking more beautiful than... + +00:46:31.888 --> 00:46:34.448 +You still got that shit upside down. + +00:46:35.058 --> 00:46:36.538 +The numbers help, man, the numbers... + +00:46:36.559 --> 00:46:38.789 +The letters go across the top +and then the numbers. + +00:46:38.895 --> 00:46:40.453 +- Want the map? +- Yeah, I want the fucking map. + +00:46:40.563 --> 00:46:41.996 +Well, you can't have it, +'cause Damien gave it me. + +00:46:42.098 --> 00:46:45.261 +You wish you had my farts, +my farts are fucking music. + +00:46:45.368 --> 00:46:47.734 +All right. That's enough. + +00:46:49.205 --> 00:46:52.936 +Everybody's obviously a little bushed +from all this humping. + +00:46:53.543 --> 00:46:56.034 +So take a chow break. Chow break! + +00:46:57.847 --> 00:46:59.405 +But stay alert. + +00:46:59.982 --> 00:47:03.474 +Remember, Charlie don't care +if you're on break or not. + +00:47:08.558 --> 00:47:11.493 +All right, that's lunch. Coming back +to the same scene afterwards, + +00:47:11.594 --> 00:47:12.959 +"lost in the goddamn jungle." + +00:47:13.062 --> 00:47:14.062 +Captain simple Jack. + +00:47:15.031 --> 00:47:16.031 +Fuck you. + +00:47:24.941 --> 00:47:26.499 I fucking hate movies. -00:39:02.473 --> 00:39:05.306 +00:47:28.845 --> 00:47:31.678 This is bullshit. I don't wanna be in this shitty movie. -00:39:15.152 --> 00:39:17.916 +00:47:41.524 --> 00:47:44.288 No! That's my jellybeans! No! -00:39:18.022 --> 00:39:22.686 +00:47:44.393 --> 00:47:49.057 Kid, grab the bat! Please! Shit! -00:39:22.793 --> 00:39:26.058 -- Yo, man, I got a Bust-A-Nut. +00:47:49.165 --> 00:47:52.430 +- Yo, man, I got a bust-a-nut. - You go to hell! There he is. -00:39:29.500 --> 00:39:32.435 +00:47:55.872 --> 00:47:58.807 God damn it! Okay. Where'd he go? -00:39:33.404 --> 00:39:35.702 +00:47:59.776 --> 00:48:02.256 You little piece of shit! I'm gonna fucking rip your wings off! -00:39:37.808 --> 00:39:40.834 +00:48:04.180 --> 00:48:07.206 Sanducci. Hold up, man, keep it on the down-low. -00:39:42.246 --> 00:39:44.476 +00:48:08.618 --> 00:48:10.899 I don't really gotta piss. I'm trying to talk at you, man. -00:39:44.582 --> 00:39:46.209 +00:48:10.953 --> 00:48:12.580 Bait, I need bait. -00:39:47.351 --> 00:39:51.048 +00:48:13.723 --> 00:48:17.420 You went to boot camp, right? You can read a map? -00:39:51.155 --> 00:39:52.383 +00:48:17.527 --> 00:48:18.755 Yeah, I think so. -00:39:52.490 --> 00:39:55.186 -I know Speedman +00:48:18.861 --> 00:48:21.557 +I know speedman got everyone convinced we out here -00:39:55.292 --> 00:39:59.092 -making Planet of the Apes on YouTube +00:48:21.664 --> 00:48:25.464 +making planet of the apes on YouTube or some shit, but I don't buy it. -00:39:59.196 --> 00:40:01.664 +00:48:25.568 --> 00:48:28.036 You wanna step on a real landmine? You wanna die? -00:40:02.466 --> 00:40:04.161 +00:48:28.838 --> 00:48:30.533 You wanna get shot by a real motherfucker? -00:40:04.268 --> 00:40:07.431 +00:48:30.640 --> 00:48:33.803 - Keep looking ahead, man. - No, of course not. -00:40:07.538 --> 00:40:11.099 -If I can put that map in your hands, -can I count you in? +00:48:34.210 --> 00:48:36.371 +Trying to get home, man. -00:40:11.208 --> 00:40:14.735 +00:48:36.479 --> 00:48:38.140 +Got a big job coming up next year. + +00:48:38.247 --> 00:48:39.680 +- Oh, yeah? +- Yeah. + +00:48:39.782 --> 00:48:42.307 +It's about Abe Lincoln and John wilkes +booth when they were both young. + +00:48:42.418 --> 00:48:43.510 +- Oh, wow! +- Yeah. + +00:48:43.619 --> 00:48:46.110 +- That's a classy picture. +- Dude, you kind of look like Abe. + +00:48:46.222 --> 00:48:47.689 +Slap a beard on you. + +00:48:47.790 --> 00:48:49.815 +- What's your fucking name? +- Really? It's Kevin. + +00:48:49.926 --> 00:48:51.917 +- Kevin sandusky. +- Yeah. + +00:48:52.595 --> 00:48:56.156 +If I can put that map in your hands, +can I count on you? + +00:48:56.566 --> 00:49:00.093 - Well, yeah, I guess you can. - Dynamite. I'm out. -00:40:18.416 --> 00:40:20.850 +00:49:03.773 --> 00:49:06.207 That smelled just like bologna for some reason. -00:40:20.951 --> 00:40:23.476 +00:49:06.309 --> 00:49:08.834 Is anyone gonna fucking help me get this fucking thing? -00:40:24.188 --> 00:40:26.748 +00:49:09.545 --> 00:49:12.105 Why are they even out in the daytime? -00:40:28.959 --> 00:40:33.396 +00:49:14.317 --> 00:49:18.754 I'm gonna level with you, bro. I don't need to pee. I need to talk to you. -00:40:39.637 --> 00:40:43.403 +00:49:24.994 --> 00:49:28.760 Lazarus is gonna torpedo the movie. -00:40:45.609 --> 00:40:47.338 +00:49:30.967 --> 00:49:32.696 He's way out on a limb with this character, -00:40:47.445 --> 00:40:49.276 +00:49:32.802 --> 00:49:34.633 and I think he's getting cold feet. -00:40:50.714 --> 00:40:54.172 -- I need you on my side, Kyle. +00:49:35.938 --> 00:49:38.736 +And the men respect you, +'cause you went to boot camp + +00:49:38.841 --> 00:49:40.468 +and rehearsal. + +00:49:41.510 --> 00:49:44.035 +- Can I count on you, Kyle. - It's Kevin. -00:40:54.285 --> 00:40:56.446 -Good. Can I count on you? +00:49:44.146 --> 00:49:45.204 +Good. -00:40:57.621 --> 00:41:01.492 -Yeah. If you want +00:49:46.782 --> 00:49:49.649 +If you want I could give the map a look-see. -00:41:01.559 --> 00:41:03.720 +00:49:49.752 --> 00:49:51.913 - I'll handle the map. - Okay. -00:41:03.828 --> 00:41:07.059 +00:49:52.021 --> 00:49:55.252 You stick with the program, we get this movie in the can, -00:41:07.164 --> 00:41:10.861 +00:49:55.358 --> 00:49:59.055 I'm thinking there could be -a Teen Choice Award in it for you. +a teen choice award in it for you. -00:41:10.968 --> 00:41:15.166 +00:49:59.161 --> 00:50:03.359 You have that potential. They'll slime you, the whole deal. -00:41:15.272 --> 00:41:18.901 +00:50:03.466 --> 00:50:07.095 - Yeah, that's wicked. - Good. -00:41:24.815 --> 00:41:26.908 +00:50:13.009 --> 00:50:15.102 There it is! Yeah, now you're dead! -00:41:28.085 --> 00:41:29.313 -You O.D.'d! +00:50:16.279 --> 00:50:17.507 +You o.D.'D! -00:41:30.888 --> 00:41:32.219 +00:50:19.081 --> 00:50:20.412 Hold up now, Jeff. -00:41:34.625 --> 00:41:36.024 +00:50:22.818 --> 00:50:24.217 Fucking hell! -00:41:37.661 --> 00:41:40.721 +00:50:25.855 --> 00:50:28.915 What the hell, Jeff? That's a bat, man! -00:41:40.831 --> 00:41:43.299 +00:50:29.025 --> 00:50:31.493 I don't have any more jellybeans. -00:41:49.907 --> 00:41:51.704 +00:50:38.100 --> 00:50:39.897 You land there! -00:42:06.624 --> 00:42:09.024 +00:50:54.817 --> 00:50:57.217 Wow. Look at these ruins. -00:42:11.195 --> 00:42:15.632 +00:50:59.388 --> 00:51:03.825 - Where the hell are we? -- D'ang Kwook River. +- D'ang kwook river. -00:42:15.733 --> 00:42:18.099 +00:51:03.926 --> 00:51:06.292 That so? How do you know that? How you sure? -00:42:18.202 --> 00:42:20.397 +00:51:06.395 --> 00:51:08.590 Only one way to find out, dude. Let's go. -00:42:20.504 --> 00:42:25.601 +00:51:08.698 --> 00:51:13.795 Yeah. I'm not feeling so good right now. Seriously, my skin hurts! -00:42:25.709 --> 00:42:28.143 +00:51:13.903 --> 00:51:16.337 Enough from the peanut gallery! Into the water, ladies! -00:42:28.245 --> 00:42:30.372 +00:51:16.439 --> 00:51:18.507 No, man. Let me take a look at that map right quick. -00:42:30.481 --> 00:42:32.073 +00:51:18.674 --> 00:51:20.354 Why is everybody all obsessed with the map? -00:42:32.182 --> 00:42:34.207 +00:51:20.376 --> 00:51:22.401 'Cause we're tired of being your trail donkeys! -00:42:34.318 --> 00:42:36.718 +00:51:22.511 --> 00:51:24.911 Acting like you some one-man GPS! -00:42:36.820 --> 00:42:40.688 +00:51:25.014 --> 00:51:28.882 God damn it! We lost! We fucking super lost, man! -00:42:40.791 --> 00:42:42.918 -Tell him, McClusky. +00:51:28.985 --> 00:51:31.112 +Tell him, mcclusky. Tell him what time it is. -00:42:43.027 --> 00:42:44.585 +00:51:31.220 --> 00:51:32.778 I don't believe you people. -00:42:46.330 --> 00:42:48.025 +00:51:34.523 --> 00:51:36.218 What do you mean "you people"? -00:42:50.701 --> 00:42:53.295 +00:51:38.894 --> 00:51:41.488 What do you mean, "you people"? -00:42:53.404 --> 00:42:55.395 -I think what Tugg means is... +00:51:41.597 --> 00:51:43.588 +I think what tugg means is... -00:42:55.506 --> 00:42:56.871 +00:51:43.699 --> 00:51:45.064 No, look at his eyes, man. -00:42:56.974 --> 00:42:59.670 -...you people, you actors. You people... +00:51:45.167 --> 00:51:47.897 +You people, you actors. You people... - Look at them beady, white devil eyes. -00:42:59.777 --> 00:43:01.335 +00:51:48.004 --> 00:51:49.605 I gotta get back to the hotel, for real! -00:43:01.445 --> 00:43:03.413 +00:51:49.638 --> 00:51:51.606 - Hell, no! - Silence! -00:43:04.448 --> 00:43:07.110 +00:51:52.641 --> 00:51:55.303 Chill! All right? Just chill it. -00:43:08.619 --> 00:43:11.816 -Now, let's go get those Viet Congs. +00:51:56.812 --> 00:52:00.009 +Now, let's go get those viet congs. -00:43:12.656 --> 00:43:14.214 -- "Viet Cong"! +00:52:00.850 --> 00:52:02.408 +- "Viet cong"! - What? -00:43:14.725 --> 00:43:17.751 -It's "Viet Cong." There's no "S." +00:52:02.918 --> 00:52:05.944 +It's "viet cong." There's no "s." It's already plural. -00:43:17.861 --> 00:43:19.453 +00:52:06.055 --> 00:52:07.647 You wouldn't say "Chineses." -00:43:20.831 --> 00:43:23.265 +00:52:09.025 --> 00:52:11.459 All right, that's enough of this insubordination! -00:43:23.367 --> 00:43:26.165 +00:52:11.560 --> 00:52:14.358 If the machine breaks down, we break down. -00:43:26.270 --> 00:43:28.795 +00:52:14.463 --> 00:52:16.988 Hey, man, you know how in Rambo I, he was big but a little puffy -00:43:28.906 --> 00:43:30.498 -and then Rambo II, +00:52:17.099 --> 00:52:18.739 +and then Rambo ii, he got all shredded up? -00:43:30.608 --> 00:43:33.475 +00:52:18.801 --> 00:52:21.668 - Yeah. - That's kind of how you look right now. -00:43:33.577 --> 00:43:35.135 +00:52:21.771 --> 00:52:23.329 - Yeah? -- Not Rambo I but II. +- Not Rambo I but ii. -00:43:35.245 --> 00:43:36.974 +00:52:23.439 --> 00:52:25.168 - Really? - Yeah, when he was cut up. -00:43:37.081 --> 00:43:39.447 +00:52:25.274 --> 00:52:27.640 I'm not that... I mean, that's what I'm going for, but you know... -00:43:39.550 --> 00:43:42.246 +00:52:27.743 --> 00:52:30.439 Come on, dude. You more shredded than a julienne salad, man. -00:43:42.353 --> 00:43:43.843 +00:52:30.546 --> 00:52:32.036 - Thanks. - What's the secret, dude? -00:43:43.954 --> 00:43:45.319 +00:52:32.148 --> 00:52:33.513 - It's a diet. I'm just dieting. - Really? -00:43:45.422 --> 00:43:48.414 +00:52:33.616 --> 00:52:36.608 'Cause I'm trying to come up a little, -but it's just... It's tough. +but it's just... it's tough. -00:43:48.525 --> 00:43:50.015 +00:52:36.719 --> 00:52:38.209 - You look good. - Any tips? -00:43:50.127 --> 00:43:51.822 +00:52:38.320 --> 00:52:40.015 - What? - Any tips, you got? -00:43:51.929 --> 00:43:53.055 +00:52:40.122 --> 00:52:41.248 There's, like, the pineapple... -00:43:53.163 --> 00:43:55.461 +00:52:41.357 --> 00:52:43.655 - Give me that goddamn map! Fuck you! - Hey! -00:43:55.566 --> 00:43:57.158 +00:52:43.759 --> 00:52:45.351 - Hey! - All right, now! -00:43:57.267 --> 00:43:59.701 -What it is, Sikorski? +00:52:45.461 --> 00:52:47.895 +What it is, sikorski? Tell us where we really at. -00:43:59.803 --> 00:44:01.794 +00:52:47.997 --> 00:52:49.988 That's fucking bullshit! It's a chump move. -00:44:01.905 --> 00:44:03.839 +00:52:50.025 --> 00:52:51.959 We just getting a second opinion, doc. -00:44:05.676 --> 00:44:06.938 +00:52:53.795 --> 00:52:55.057 We're going the wrong way! -00:44:07.044 --> 00:44:08.136 +00:52:55.163 --> 00:52:56.255 - Damn! - Son of a bitch. -00:44:08.245 --> 00:44:12.705 +00:52:56.365 --> 00:53:00.825 God! I think we were supposed to be doing this, -00:44:12.816 --> 00:44:15.717 +00:53:00.936 --> 00:53:03.837 and instead we did this. -00:44:15.819 --> 00:44:19.448 +00:53:03.939 --> 00:53:07.568 Shit, shit, shit, shitty shit, shit! -00:44:19.556 --> 00:44:22.081 +00:53:07.676 --> 00:53:10.201 Think you can get us back to that drop zone, boy? -00:44:23.027 --> 00:44:24.426 +00:53:11.146 --> 00:53:12.545 This is not cool! -00:44:27.131 --> 00:44:28.257 +00:53:15.250 --> 00:53:16.376 Maybe. -00:44:29.700 --> 00:44:31.190 +00:53:17.819 --> 00:53:19.309 This is insane! -00:44:32.469 --> 00:44:34.801 +00:53:20.589 --> 00:53:22.921 Are you really going to abandon this movie? -00:44:35.606 --> 00:44:37.801 +00:53:23.725 --> 00:53:25.920 We're supposed to be a unit! -00:44:37.908 --> 00:44:39.432 +00:53:26.028 --> 00:53:27.552 Suck my unit! -00:44:40.310 --> 00:44:42.107 +00:53:28.430 --> 00:53:30.227 All right, fine. -00:44:42.212 --> 00:44:47.115 +00:53:30.332 --> 00:53:35.235 - I'll finish it by myself. - You go be all you can be, man. -00:44:47.217 --> 00:44:49.208 +00:53:35.337 --> 00:53:37.328 Tugg, you have no idea where you're going! -00:44:49.319 --> 00:44:51.116 +00:53:37.439 --> 00:53:39.236 Yes, I do! -00:44:51.221 --> 00:44:55.749 -I'm going to, "Exterior, rain forest, dusk. +00:53:39.341 --> 00:53:43.869 +I'm going to, "exterior, rain forest, dusk. -00:44:55.859 --> 00:45:00.319 -"Smash cut to Four Leaf, who treks +00:53:43.979 --> 00:53:48.439 +"Smash cut to four leaf, who treks alone through a frightening jungle." -00:45:00.431 --> 00:45:02.365 -Suck on that unit, Kirk! +00:53:48.550 --> 00:53:50.484 +Suck on that unit, kirk! -00:45:15.946 --> 00:45:18.938 +00:54:04.066 --> 00:54:07.058 Come on, men. Let's get home. -00:45:57.121 --> 00:46:01.785 -Hello, Mr. Mantis. You're beautiful. +00:54:45.240 --> 00:54:49.904 +Hello, Mr. mantis. You're beautiful. -00:46:04.061 --> 00:46:05.995 +00:54:52.180 --> 00:54:54.114 Now, if you recall that whole hullabaloo -00:46:06.096 --> 00:46:07.825 +00:54:54.216 --> 00:54:55.945 where Hollywood was split into schisms, -00:46:07.931 --> 00:46:11.332 -some studios backing Blu-ray Disc, -others backing HD DVD. +00:54:56.051 --> 00:54:59.452 +some studios backing blu-ray disc, +others backing hd DVD. -00:46:11.435 --> 00:46:12.527 +00:54:59.554 --> 00:55:00.646 People thought it would come down to -00:46:12.636 --> 00:46:14.900 +00:55:00.755 --> 00:55:03.019 pixel rate or refresh rate, and they're pretty much the same. -00:46:15.005 --> 00:46:18.805 +00:55:03.125 --> 00:55:06.925 What it came down to was a combination of gamers and porn. -00:46:18.909 --> 00:46:20.638 +00:55:07.028 --> 00:55:08.757 Now, whichever format porno backs -00:46:20.744 --> 00:46:24.578 +00:55:08.864 --> 00:55:12.698 is usually the one that becomes the most successful. -00:46:24.681 --> 00:46:27.673 +00:55:12.801 --> 00:55:15.793 But, you know, Sony, -every PlayStation 3 has a Blu-ray in it. +every playstation 3 has a blu-ray in it. -00:46:27.785 --> 00:46:29.514 +00:55:15.904 --> 00:55:17.633 You talking to me this whole time? -00:46:30.254 --> 00:46:31.551 +00:55:18.373 --> 00:55:19.670 I was talking to whoever was listening to me. -00:46:31.655 --> 00:46:33.122 +00:55:19.774 --> 00:55:21.241 Jesus Christ, man! -00:46:51.542 --> 00:46:53.601 -Booty Sweat. +00:55:39.661 --> 00:55:41.720 +Booty sweat. -00:46:59.650 --> 00:47:01.049 +00:55:47.769 --> 00:55:49.168 Oh, God! -00:47:03.287 --> 00:47:07.849 +00:55:51.406 --> 00:55:55.968 It's cold! It's freezing. I'm fucking cold. -00:47:07.958 --> 00:47:09.493 +00:55:56.077 --> 00:55:58.272 You want my flak jacket? -00:47:09.493 --> 00:47:10.152 -You want my flak jacket? - -00:47:10.260 --> 00:47:14.128 +00:55:58.380 --> 00:56:02.248 What, are you insane? It's boiling! It's like a sweat lodge out here! -00:47:14.231 --> 00:47:17.064 +00:56:02.350 --> 00:56:05.183 Keep the volume down on that bitching, -Flatch Adams. +flatch Adams. -00:47:17.167 --> 00:47:19.067 +00:56:05.287 --> 00:56:07.187 I gotta take a fucking 12-pound shit! -00:47:19.169 --> 00:47:21.137 +00:56:07.289 --> 00:56:09.257 - How we doing? We making good time? - We're making good time, -00:47:21.238 --> 00:47:24.366 +00:56:09.357 --> 00:56:12.485 but there's no way we make it -over that ridge before sundown. +over that Ridge before sundown. -00:47:24.474 --> 00:47:26.965 +00:56:12.594 --> 00:56:15.085 All right, fellas, we're gonna make camp, rest up! -00:47:27.077 --> 00:47:29.375 +00:56:15.197 --> 00:56:17.495 - Oh, God. - Y'all might be in for a treat. -00:47:29.479 --> 00:47:30.878 +00:56:17.599 --> 00:56:18.998 You know, back before the war broked out, -00:47:30.981 --> 00:47:33.711 -I was a saucier in San Antone. +00:56:19.100 --> 00:56:21.830 +I was a saucier in San antone. -00:47:33.817 --> 00:47:36.445 +00:56:21.937 --> 00:56:24.565 I bet I could collar up -some of them greens. +some of them Greens. -00:47:36.553 --> 00:47:40.853 +00:56:24.673 --> 00:56:28.973 Yeah, noodle some crawfish out the paddy, yo. -00:47:40.958 --> 00:47:44.985 +00:56:29.077 --> 00:56:33.104 And maybe some crab apples for dessert, now, you hear? Hell, yeah! -00:47:46.330 --> 00:47:47.592 +00:56:34.449 --> 00:56:35.711 Hell, yeah! -00:47:47.698 --> 00:47:51.896 +00:56:35.817 --> 00:56:40.015 That's how we all talk. We all talk like this, suh! Yes, suh. -00:47:52.002 --> 00:47:57.235 +00:56:40.121 --> 00:56:45.354 Yeah, get some crawfish and some ribs. -00:47:57.341 --> 00:48:02.210 +00:56:45.460 --> 00:56:50.329 You're Australian! Be Australian! -Excuse me, Kangaroo Jack. +Excuse me, kangaroo Jack. -00:48:06.450 --> 00:48:08.850 +00:56:54.569 --> 00:56:56.969 I get excited about my foods, man. -00:49:34.805 --> 00:49:37.069 +00:58:22.590 --> 00:58:25.024 Die! -00:49:50.821 --> 00:49:52.914 +00:58:38.940 --> 00:58:41.033 No! -00:49:59.463 --> 00:50:03.763 +00:58:47.582 --> 00:58:51.882 Dude, dude, what the hell is going on here? Where are we? -00:50:03.867 --> 00:50:06.267 +00:58:51.986 --> 00:58:54.386 I have no idea. -00:50:06.370 --> 00:50:08.930 -I've never been outside the States. +00:58:54.489 --> 00:58:57.049 +I've never been outside the states. -00:50:09.039 --> 00:50:11.200 +00:58:57.158 --> 00:58:59.319 Wait, what? Are you fucking kidding me? -00:50:11.308 --> 00:50:13.299 +00:58:59.427 --> 00:59:01.418 Did you make this whole goddamn thing up? -00:50:13.410 --> 00:50:14.775 +00:59:01.529 --> 00:59:02.894 Dude, were you even in the fucking service? -00:50:14.878 --> 00:50:17.540 -Yes. Of course. Coast Guard. +00:59:02.997 --> 00:59:05.659 +Yes. Of course. Coast guard. -00:50:17.647 --> 00:50:19.547 -- Coast Guard. -- Sanitation Department. +00:59:05.767 --> 00:59:07.667 +- Coast guard. +- Sanitation department. -00:50:19.649 --> 00:50:22.345 +00:59:07.769 --> 00:59:10.465 Oh, my God! You're a fucking garbage man! -00:50:22.452 --> 00:50:26.183 +00:59:10.572 --> 00:59:14.303 Damn it. F.L. Tayback lies to me -and the whole goddamn U.S. Of A. +and the whole goddamn U.S. of a. -00:50:26.289 --> 00:50:28.951 +00:59:14.409 --> 00:59:17.071 I wrote the book as a tribute! I'm a patriot! -00:50:29.059 --> 00:50:31.118 -Yeah, you're the Milli Vanilli +00:59:17.178 --> 00:59:19.237 +Yeah, you're the milli vanilli of patriots, okay? -00:50:31.228 --> 00:50:32.923 +00:59:19.347 --> 00:59:21.042 You lied -about fighting the Vietnam War. +about fighting the Vietnam war. -00:50:33.030 --> 00:50:36.295 +00:59:21.149 --> 00:59:24.414 It's like punching the American flag in the face, God damn it. -00:50:36.400 --> 00:50:37.833 +00:59:24.519 --> 00:59:25.959 God, and to think I believed in you! -00:50:37.934 --> 00:50:40.300 +00:59:26.054 --> 00:59:28.420 - I don't wanna be next to you. - Writers lie all the time. -00:50:40.404 --> 00:50:42.531 +00:59:28.523 --> 00:59:30.650 Can I be tied to another post? Okay. -00:51:04.161 --> 00:51:05.992 +00:59:51.968 --> 00:59:53.799 - Rick? - Tugg. -00:51:06.096 --> 00:51:08.155 +00:59:53.903 --> 00:59:55.962 I killed one, Rick. -00:51:09.299 --> 00:51:11.699 +00:59:57.106 --> 00:59:59.506 The thing I love most in the world. -00:51:11.802 --> 00:51:13.633 +00:59:59.608 --> 01:00:01.439 Vivica, get off the line now! -00:51:15.939 --> 00:51:18.339 +01:00:03.746 --> 01:00:06.146 A hooker. All right, you killed a hooker. -00:51:18.442 --> 00:51:20.501 +01:00:06.248 --> 01:00:08.307 Calm down. Here's what you're gonna do. -00:51:20.610 --> 00:51:21.770 +01:00:08.417 --> 01:00:09.617 Get your hands on some bleach, -00:51:21.878 --> 00:51:24.244 +01:00:09.685 --> 01:00:12.051 some hydrogen peroxide and a shitload of lime. -00:51:24.347 --> 00:51:25.837 +01:00:12.154 --> 01:00:13.644 No, a panda. -00:51:25.949 --> 00:51:27.712 +01:00:13.756 --> 01:00:15.519 I killed a panda. -00:51:27.818 --> 00:51:29.615 +01:00:15.624 --> 01:00:17.421 Amanda? Come on, dude. -00:51:29.719 --> 00:51:31.744 +01:00:17.526 --> 01:00:19.551 I mean, that's probably not even her real name. -00:51:31.855 --> 00:51:33.516 +01:00:19.662 --> 01:00:21.323 No, a panda! -00:51:33.623 --> 00:51:34.988 +01:00:21.430 --> 01:00:22.795 A panda? -00:51:35.092 --> 00:51:37.686 +01:00:22.898 --> 01:00:27.535 A sweet, cuddly, - -00:51:37.794 --> 00:51:39.728 vicious little panda. -00:51:39.863 --> 00:51:42.798 -Jesus Christ, Tugg! +01:00:27.670 --> 01:00:30.605 +Jesus Christ, tugg! Man, don't scare me like that! -00:51:42.899 --> 00:51:44.059 +01:00:30.706 --> 01:00:31.866 It's beautiful here. -00:51:44.167 --> 00:51:45.657 +01:00:31.974 --> 01:00:33.464 You on the set? -00:51:45.769 --> 00:51:47.031 +01:00:33.576 --> 01:00:34.838 I am the set. -00:51:47.137 --> 00:51:50.106 +01:00:34.944 --> 01:00:37.913 All right, man. Hey, how's the TiVo working out? -00:51:50.207 --> 00:51:51.435 +01:00:38.014 --> 01:00:39.242 Screw TiVo. -00:51:51.541 --> 00:51:54.009 +01:00:39.348 --> 01:00:41.816 I'm way beyond TiVo. -00:51:54.111 --> 00:51:56.204 +01:00:41.917 --> 01:00:44.010 Last I checked, they hadn't hooked it up, though. -00:51:56.313 --> 00:51:59.612 +01:00:44.120 --> 01:00:47.419 Hadn't hooked it up? No TiVo? -00:51:59.716 --> 00:52:01.547 +01:00:47.523 --> 01:00:49.354 It doesn't matter anymore. -00:52:04.387 --> 00:52:05.854 +01:00:52.194 --> 01:00:53.661 I've moved on. -00:52:06.590 --> 00:52:08.319 +01:00:54.397 --> 01:00:56.126 Where have you moved on to? -00:52:08.425 --> 00:52:09.585 +01:00:56.232 --> 01:00:57.722 Another agency? -00:52:11.361 --> 00:52:12.589 -Hey, who is with you? +01:00:59.268 --> 01:01:00.792 +Who's with you? -00:52:12.696 --> 00:52:16.792 -You are still my client, Tugg Speedman! +01:01:00.903 --> 01:01:03.064 +It's Nick Stevens, isn't it? +That little fucker. + +01:01:03.172 --> 01:01:07.268 +You are still my client, tugg speedman! I am getting the TiVo! -00:52:16.900 --> 00:52:19.095 +01:01:07.376 --> 01:01:09.571 Jacket's on, I'm out the door! -00:52:19.202 --> 00:52:20.260 +01:01:09.678 --> 01:01:10.736 Tugg? -00:52:22.873 --> 00:52:23.862 +01:01:14.050 --> 01:01:15.347 Please don't fire me. -00:52:27.408 --> 00:52:30.309 +01:01:16.218 --> 01:01:17.412 +I did it, I did it! + +01:01:17.520 --> 01:01:19.852 +Vivica, what do I have scheduled +this afternoon? + +01:01:19.955 --> 01:01:22.822 +- Two and a half men taping. +- Shit. + +01:01:23.826 --> 01:01:24.850 +Cancel it. + +01:01:24.960 --> 01:01:26.621 +And get me tugg's tropic thunder +contract. + +01:01:26.729 --> 01:01:29.857 +I'm going to Grossman's office, +I'm playing the card. + +01:01:29.965 --> 01:01:30.965 +Okay. + +01:01:34.537 --> 01:01:37.438 Oh, mama. Thirsty. -00:52:30.444 --> 00:52:32.503 +01:01:37.573 --> 01:01:39.632 He doesn't look too good. -00:52:32.613 --> 00:52:37.641 +01:01:39.742 --> 01:01:44.770 Must drink, so I can throw something up! -00:52:37.751 --> 00:52:39.878 +01:01:44.880 --> 01:01:47.007 No, no. Don't drink that water! That water's like a petri dish! -00:52:39.987 --> 00:52:41.079 +01:01:47.116 --> 01:01:48.208 No, don't! -00:52:41.188 --> 00:52:43.713 -Alpa, do you have any Booty Sweat? +01:01:48.317 --> 01:01:50.842 +Alpa, do you have any Booty sweat? -00:52:43.824 --> 00:52:46.190 +01:01:50.953 --> 01:01:53.319 Yeah, get him chugging on -some of Alpa's ass water. +some of alpa's ass water. -00:52:46.293 --> 00:52:48.227 +01:01:53.422 --> 01:01:55.356 That'll bring him around. It's a cure-all. -00:52:48.329 --> 00:52:50.229 +01:01:55.458 --> 01:01:57.358 Man, what you coming out in movies for anyway? -00:52:50.331 --> 00:52:51.992 +01:01:57.460 --> 01:01:59.121 Did you need another revenue stream? -00:52:52.099 --> 00:52:54.897 +01:01:59.228 --> 01:02:02.026 For your information, my revenue stream -00:52:55.002 --> 00:52:57.334 +01:02:02.131 --> 01:02:04.463 currently generates $2 million a year -00:52:57.438 --> 00:52:59.372 +01:02:04.567 --> 01:02:06.501 in charitable contributions for my community. -00:52:59.473 --> 00:53:01.805 +01:02:06.602 --> 01:02:08.934 - Hot damn. - And why am I in this movie? -00:53:01.909 --> 00:53:04.241 +01:02:09.038 --> 01:02:11.370 Maybe I just knew I had to represent, -00:53:04.345 --> 00:53:06.142 +01:02:11.474 --> 01:02:13.271 because they had one good part in it for a black man -00:53:06.246 --> 00:53:08.305 -and they gave it to Crocodile Dundee. +01:02:13.375 --> 01:02:15.434 +and they gave it to crocodile dundee. -00:53:09.917 --> 00:53:13.478 +01:02:17.046 --> 01:02:20.607 Pump your brakes, kid. That man is a national treasure. -00:53:13.587 --> 00:53:15.714 +01:02:20.716 --> 01:02:22.843 I just wanted to throw another shrimp -on your barbie. +on your Barbie. -00:53:15.823 --> 00:53:16.949 +01:02:22.952 --> 01:02:24.078 That shit ain't funny. -00:53:17.057 --> 00:53:19.753 +01:02:24.186 --> 01:02:26.882 Hey, fellas! It's hot! We're tired! It stinks! -00:53:19.860 --> 00:53:21.418 +01:02:26.989 --> 01:02:28.590 I'm just fucking with you, -Kangaroo Jack! +kangaroo Jack! -00:53:21.528 --> 00:53:23.257 +01:02:28.657 --> 01:02:30.386 I'm sorry a dingo ate your baby. -00:53:23.364 --> 00:53:25.832 +01:02:30.493 --> 01:02:32.961 You know that's a true story? Lady lost her kid. -00:53:25.933 --> 00:53:28.595 +01:02:33.062 --> 01:02:35.724 - You about to cross some fucking lines. - Guys, relax and stuff. -00:53:28.702 --> 00:53:29.760 +01:02:35.831 --> 01:02:36.889 You know what? Fuck that, man! -00:53:29.870 --> 00:53:32.532 +01:02:36.999 --> 01:02:39.661 I'm sick of this koala-hugging nigger telling me... -00:53:37.277 --> 00:53:38.835 +01:02:44.406 --> 01:02:45.964 For 400 years, -00:53:39.880 --> 00:53:42.781 +01:02:47.009 --> 01:02:49.910 that word has kept us down. -00:53:43.851 --> 00:53:45.478 +01:02:50.980 --> 01:02:52.607 What the fuck? -00:53:45.586 --> 00:53:49.352 +01:02:52.715 --> 01:02:56.481 It took a whole lot of trying just to get up that hill. -00:53:49.456 --> 00:53:52.357 +01:02:56.585 --> 01:02:59.486 Now we up in the big leagues, -00:53:52.459 --> 00:53:54.222 +01:02:59.588 --> 01:03:01.351 getting our turn at bat. -00:53:54.328 --> 00:53:56.990 +01:03:01.457 --> 01:03:04.119 Long as we live, it's you and me, baby. -00:53:57.665 --> 00:54:00.998 +01:03:04.793 --> 01:03:08.126 That's the theme song for -The Jeffersons. You really need help. +the jeffersons. You really need help. -00:54:01.101 --> 00:54:04.229 +01:03:08.230 --> 01:03:11.358 Yeah. Just 'cause it's the theme song, don't make it not true. -00:54:04.338 --> 00:54:06.272 +01:03:11.467 --> 01:03:13.401 You know what? I'm gonna tell you what's true. -00:54:06.373 --> 00:54:09.809 +01:03:13.502 --> 01:03:16.938 I'm gonna tag you back. You better believe that, baby. -00:54:09.910 --> 00:54:12.504 +01:03:17.039 --> 01:03:19.633 Guys! Hey, guys! -00:54:13.113 --> 00:54:15.581 +01:03:20.242 --> 01:03:22.710 Jeff, stay away from that animal. -00:54:17.951 --> 00:54:20.784 +01:03:25.080 --> 01:03:27.913 I'm gonna bite his hide. I need... -00:54:21.822 --> 00:54:25.087 +01:03:28.951 --> 01:03:32.216 I need to wear his stomach skin like a unitard. -00:54:26.060 --> 00:54:29.359 +01:03:33.189 --> 01:03:36.488 Ain't nobody doing nothing to no one or body! -00:54:29.463 --> 00:54:34.332 -Now, if Mr. Portnoy is feeling +01:03:36.592 --> 01:03:41.461 +Now, if Mr. portnoy is feeling a little flu-ish, don't wanna walk, -00:54:34.435 --> 00:54:36.494 +01:03:41.564 --> 01:03:43.623 put him up on that cloven-hoof animal! -00:54:37.871 --> 00:54:39.168 +01:03:45.000 --> 01:03:46.297 We got ground to cover! -00:55:08.168 --> 00:55:11.433 -All right, POW camp, scene 67. +01:04:15.297 --> 01:04:18.562 +All right, pow camp, scene 67. -00:55:12.339 --> 00:55:14.068 -Bring it on, Cockburn! +01:04:19.468 --> 01:04:21.197 +Bring it on, cockburn! -00:55:21.181 --> 00:55:24.981 -My body may be shackled, -but my mind wanders free. +01:04:29.278 --> 01:04:31.712 +Maybe he's not, you know, +Ridley Scott or something, -00:55:29.757 --> 00:55:30.917 -Wait, wait, wait, -let me do the line again. +01:04:31.814 --> 01:04:33.611 +but I think renny harlin's +a tremendous filmmaker -00:55:31.024 --> 00:55:32.116 -Let me do the line again. +01:04:33.716 --> 01:04:36.514 +like, adventures of Ford fairlane, +you know, -00:55:32.226 --> 00:55:36.322 -My body may be shackled, -but my mind wanders free. +01:04:36.619 --> 01:04:40.248 +as far as an Andrew Dice Clay +vehicle goes, it's pretty decent. -00:55:43.537 --> 00:55:44.868 -Good, again. Again. +01:04:40.356 --> 01:04:42.790 +And cliffhanger. +Cliffhanger's incredible. -00:55:50.677 --> 00:55:53.237 -Good, good. -Now let's do the torture scene. +01:04:42.891 --> 01:04:46.349 +As far as the whole like, +man against nature type of movies go, -00:55:53.347 --> 00:55:55.144 +01:04:46.462 --> 01:04:48.623 +it's absolutely amazing. + +01:04:48.731 --> 01:04:50.631 +Shut the fuck up! + +01:04:55.271 --> 01:04:56.932 +Who send you here? + +01:04:57.039 --> 01:05:01.669 +Tayback, John, sergeant, +United States army. + +01:05:02.411 --> 01:05:07.815 +Serial number 694529987. + +01:05:11.620 --> 01:05:14.612 +Perhaps some hot tea +will make conversing + +01:05:14.723 --> 01:05:16.486 +a little easier. + +01:05:20.262 --> 01:05:22.355 +My leader's not quite as cordial. + +01:05:25.834 --> 01:05:28.701 +Look, what? I just thought you might +like some hot tea + +01:05:28.804 --> 01:05:32.331 +- in order to calm your nerves. +- Tayback, John, sergeant, + +01:05:32.474 --> 01:05:37.434 +United States army, 694529987. + +01:05:38.280 --> 01:05:43.809 +And here's a little message +from my Uncle Sam. + +01:05:49.458 --> 01:05:51.824 +Dude, you all right? + +01:05:51.927 --> 01:05:53.360 +Man you totally leaned into that. + +01:05:53.462 --> 01:05:56.522 +I was pulling it back +and you just came in too... + +01:05:56.632 --> 01:05:58.827 +Hey, it was an accident, man. + +01:06:01.370 --> 01:06:03.304 +Come on, good. +You want to keep going? + +01:06:03.405 --> 01:06:04.997 +- Let's go. +- Get up. + +01:06:05.107 --> 01:06:06.699 +I rather rot in your v.C. Jail! + +01:06:06.809 --> 01:06:10.677 +I'll never bend to your will! +You scum! You scum! + +01:06:10.779 --> 01:06:12.804 +Now say this +and go to the beginning again, + +01:06:12.915 --> 01:06:14.678 +let's do the tea part, okay? + +01:06:16.218 --> 01:06:17.651 +Dude, I hope you're not pissed. + +01:06:17.986 --> 01:06:19.783 I see moss on both sides of that tree. -00:55:55.249 --> 00:55:58.377 +01:06:19.888 --> 01:06:23.016 Well, you know, maybe if I wasn't the only one at boot camp... -00:55:58.485 --> 00:56:00.385 +01:06:23.125 --> 01:06:25.025 My belly really hurts, you guys! -00:56:00.487 --> 00:56:02.682 +01:06:25.127 --> 01:06:27.322 I'm not joking around, I'm nauseous. -00:56:02.790 --> 00:56:05.020 +01:06:27.429 --> 01:06:29.670 Let me off, I gotta puke! -I don't wanna die like Hendrix! +I don't wanna die like hendrix! -00:56:05.125 --> 00:56:06.786 +01:06:29.765 --> 01:06:31.426 All right. All right. -00:56:11.365 --> 00:56:13.356 +01:06:36.004 --> 01:06:37.995 Are you okay, Jeff? -00:56:13.467 --> 00:56:14.832 +01:06:38.107 --> 01:06:39.472 I'm awesome. -00:56:17.237 --> 00:56:18.704 +01:06:41.877 --> 01:06:43.344 Holy shit! -00:56:23.243 --> 00:56:25.404 +01:06:47.883 --> 01:06:50.044 Okay. Everyone, down, down, down. -00:56:30.117 --> 00:56:31.607 +01:06:54.757 --> 01:06:56.247 Man. Now I'm tripping. -00:56:31.718 --> 00:56:34.346 -That looks like the POW camp +01:06:56.358 --> 01:06:58.986 +That looks like the pow camp from out the script, yo. -00:56:35.222 --> 00:56:36.917 +01:06:59.862 --> 01:07:01.557 Speedman was right? -00:56:37.024 --> 00:56:38.389 +01:07:01.663 --> 01:07:03.028 I don't think so. -00:56:38.492 --> 00:56:40.722 +01:07:03.132 --> 01:07:05.362 Look at the cooking vats, the armed guards. -00:56:42.296 --> 00:56:44.389 +01:07:06.969 --> 01:07:09.062 Looks like a heroin processing plant. -00:56:45.499 --> 00:56:46.625 +01:07:10.172 --> 01:07:11.298 We were in that chopper for hours. -00:56:46.733 --> 00:56:48.997 +01:07:11.407 --> 01:07:13.671 I don't even think we're in Vietnam anymore. -00:56:49.102 --> 00:56:51.536 +01:07:13.776 --> 01:07:16.210 - Fuck. -- Shit. We ain't even in 'Nam? +- Shit. We ain't even in 'nam? -00:56:51.638 --> 00:56:54.402 +01:07:16.311 --> 01:07:19.075 No, most likely Myanmar or Laos. -00:56:54.508 --> 00:56:56.066 +01:07:19.181 --> 01:07:20.739 What the fuck is Laos? -00:56:56.176 --> 00:56:57.973 -It's the Golden Triangle. +01:07:20.849 --> 01:07:22.009 +It's the golden triangle. -00:56:58.078 --> 00:56:59.636 -The world's hard drug superhighway. +01:07:22.117 --> 01:07:24.085 +Oh, fuck. We're dead. -00:56:59.746 --> 00:57:01.043 -And how do you know about that? +01:07:24.186 --> 01:07:26.154 +No one gets out of here. I saw it on TV. -00:57:01.148 --> 00:57:03.878 +01:07:26.255 --> 01:07:30.282 +Fucking boats, airplanes, +ufos and shit, they all just vanish! + +01:07:30.392 --> 01:07:32.917 +Yo, that's the Bermuda triangle, +dumbass. + +01:07:33.028 --> 01:07:35.394 +This is the golden triangle. + +01:07:35.497 --> 01:07:37.098 +It's the world's hard drug superhighway. + +01:07:37.166 --> 01:07:38.463 +How do you know that? + +01:07:38.567 --> 01:07:41.297 It was a really long trip. I read the in-flight magazine. -00:57:05.686 --> 00:57:06.983 +01:07:43.105 --> 01:07:44.402 Cut! -00:57:07.087 --> 00:57:08.554 +01:07:44.506 --> 01:07:45.973 Oh, Jesus! -00:57:08.655 --> 00:57:11.146 +01:07:46.074 --> 01:07:48.565 What do you see, man? I'm blocked. -00:57:11.258 --> 00:57:12.623 +01:07:48.677 --> 01:07:50.042 Damien, cut! -00:57:14.394 --> 00:57:15.986 +01:07:51.814 --> 01:07:53.406 Hey, Damien, cut! -00:57:16.830 --> 00:57:18.491 -They got Speedman. +01:07:54.249 --> 01:07:55.910 +They got speedman. -00:57:19.066 --> 00:57:20.499 +01:07:56.485 --> 01:07:57.918 And it doesn't look good. -00:57:53.166 --> 00:57:54.463 -I am Tran. +01:08:30.586 --> 01:08:31.883 +I am tran. -00:57:55.435 --> 00:57:57.596 -You are a trespasser -in my poppy fields. +01:08:32.855 --> 01:08:35.016 +You are a trespasser in my poppy fields. -00:57:59.006 --> 00:58:01.634 -You are D.E.A. Scum! +01:08:36.425 --> 01:08:39.053 +You are d.E.A. Scum! -00:58:03.577 --> 00:58:07.013 +01:08:40.996 --> 01:08:44.432 Were there some re-writes that I missed? -00:58:13.320 --> 00:58:14.810 +01:08:50.739 --> 01:08:52.229 Do you want to die? -00:58:15.589 --> 00:58:17.056 +01:08:53.008 --> 01:08:54.475 - Do you? - No! -00:58:17.157 --> 00:58:21.287 +01:08:54.576 --> 01:08:58.706 Please, don't hurt me! -00:58:29.169 --> 00:58:30.363 +01:09:06.588 --> 01:09:07.782 Say that again. -00:58:31.371 --> 00:58:33.168 +01:09:08.790 --> 01:09:10.587 Please, don't hurt me. -00:58:33.273 --> 00:58:36.367 +01:09:10.692 --> 01:09:13.786 No! Like you did before! Say it! -00:58:37.344 --> 00:58:38.333 +01:09:14.763 --> 01:09:15.763 Say it! -00:58:38.445 --> 00:58:42.438 +01:09:15.864 --> 01:09:19.857 Please, don't hurt me! -00:58:58.065 --> 00:59:00.659 +01:09:35.484 --> 01:09:38.078 - What? -- You are Simple Jack. +- You are simple Jack. -00:59:03.637 --> 00:59:05.502 -You saw Simple Jack? +01:09:41.056 --> 01:09:42.921 +You saw simple Jack? -00:59:05.605 --> 00:59:07.937 +01:09:43.025 --> 01:09:45.357 We love the tale of this man, -Simple Jack. +simple Jack. -00:59:09.643 --> 00:59:11.474 +01:09:47.062 --> 01:09:48.893 We do not have many luxury here. -00:59:11.578 --> 00:59:14.012 -And Simple Jack is the only movie +01:09:48.997 --> 01:09:51.431 +And simple Jack is the only movie we possess. -00:59:14.114 --> 00:59:17.948 -You got the VHS. +01:09:51.533 --> 01:09:55.367 +You got the vhs. -00:59:18.051 --> 00:59:20.110 +01:09:55.470 --> 01:09:57.529 We've watched it many, many times. -00:59:20.220 --> 00:59:22.688 +01:09:57.639 --> 01:10:00.107 You should've got Oscar. -00:59:25.726 --> 00:59:27.489 +01:10:03.145 --> 01:10:04.908 Well, you know. It's... -00:59:28.762 --> 00:59:30.024 +01:10:06.181 --> 01:10:08.777 Just to be nominated... - -00:59:30.130 --> 00:59:31.358 You were nominated? -00:59:31.465 --> 00:59:32.989 +01:10:08.884 --> 01:10:10.408 No, no, no. I wasn't nominated. -00:59:33.100 --> 00:59:36.263 +01:10:10.519 --> 01:10:13.682 I'm just saying that to have been nominated would have been nice. -00:59:36.370 --> 00:59:38.736 -It's just... It's very political. +01:10:13.789 --> 01:10:16.189 +It's just... it's very political. You have to take out ads... -00:59:38.839 --> 00:59:41.330 +01:10:16.258 --> 01:10:18.749 - Shut up now! - Okay. Okay. -00:59:42.175 --> 00:59:43.904 +01:10:19.595 --> 01:10:21.324 So, are you going to -00:59:45.545 --> 00:59:47.172 +01:10:22.965 --> 01:10:24.592 let me go, or... -00:59:47.280 --> 00:59:49.407 +01:10:24.700 --> 01:10:26.827 No. We'll hold you for ransom. -00:59:49.516 --> 00:59:51.313 +01:10:26.935 --> 01:10:28.732 Much more money now! -01:00:02.896 --> 01:00:03.885 +01:10:40.315 --> 01:10:41.315 He's in a meeting. -01:00:03.997 --> 01:00:06.761 +01:10:41.416 --> 01:10:44.180 Yeah, I know. -In about two seconds with the Pecker. +In about two seconds with the pecker. -01:00:07.801 --> 01:00:09.666 +01:10:45.220 --> 01:10:47.085 I'm gonna rip your fucking tits off. -01:00:09.770 --> 01:00:12.432 +01:10:47.189 --> 01:10:49.851 You wanna talk about trouble? That's trouble. -01:00:12.539 --> 01:00:14.097 +01:10:49.958 --> 01:10:51.516 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. -01:00:16.009 --> 01:00:17.909 -What do you need, Peck? +01:10:53.428 --> 01:10:55.328 +What do you need, peck? -01:00:18.011 --> 01:00:20.639 -No, more like what do you need, Les? +01:10:55.430 --> 01:10:58.058 +No, more like what do you need, les? -01:00:20.747 --> 01:00:21.941 +01:10:58.166 --> 01:10:59.360 Glasses? -01:00:23.016 --> 01:00:24.074 +01:11:00.435 --> 01:11:01.493 What? -01:00:24.184 --> 01:00:26.675 +01:11:01.603 --> 01:11:04.094 So you can read -the Tropic Thunder contract +the tropic thunder contract -01:00:26.787 --> 01:00:29.187 +01:11:04.206 --> 01:11:06.606 that guarantees my client, -Tugg Speedman, +tugg speedman, -01:00:29.289 --> 01:00:33.020 +01:11:06.708 --> 01:11:10.439 some form of digital video recorder on location. -01:00:33.794 --> 01:00:35.921 +01:11:11.213 --> 01:11:13.340 - Huh? - I can't believe you let him in. -01:00:37.564 --> 01:00:40.397 +01:11:14.983 --> 01:11:17.816 Look, fuckstick, I'm incredibly busy, so why don't you get the hell out of here -01:00:40.500 --> 01:00:43.560 +01:11:17.919 --> 01:11:20.979 before I snap your dick off and jam it into your ass? -01:00:43.670 --> 01:00:45.695 +01:11:21.089 --> 01:11:23.114 No, not you, Helen. -01:00:45.806 --> 01:00:49.503 +01:11:23.225 --> 01:11:26.922 But I will rip your tits off if you don't get me those theaters. -01:00:49.609 --> 01:00:51.133 +01:11:27.029 --> 01:11:28.553 Perfect. -01:00:51.244 --> 01:00:53.678 -Hey, Tuggernuts, +01:11:28.664 --> 01:11:31.098 +Hey, tuggernuts, I've got you on speakerphone. -01:00:53.780 --> 01:00:55.645 -I'm standing here with Les Grossman, +01:11:31.199 --> 01:11:33.064 +I'm standing here with les Grossman, -01:00:55.749 --> 01:00:58.912 +01:11:33.168 --> 01:11:36.331 and he is dying to tell you why he's apparently wiped his ass -01:00:59.019 --> 01:01:01.317 +01:11:36.438 --> 01:11:38.736 with the TiVo clause from your contract. -01:01:02.522 --> 01:01:04.513 -We are Flaming Dragon. +01:11:39.941 --> 01:11:41.932 +We are flaming dragon. -01:01:04.624 --> 01:01:06.990 +01:11:42.044 --> 01:11:44.410 Speedman is with us now. -01:01:07.094 --> 01:01:10.655 +01:11:44.513 --> 01:11:48.074 For 50 million, you will get him back. -01:01:10.764 --> 01:01:12.925 +01:11:48.183 --> 01:11:50.344 - Are you gonna get those... - Who is this? -01:01:13.033 --> 01:01:15.729 +01:11:50.452 --> 01:11:53.148 - And how did you get this phone? -- We are Flaming Dragon! +- We are flaming dragon! -01:01:15.836 --> 01:01:17.736 +01:11:53.255 --> 01:11:55.155 Simple Jack belong to us now. -01:01:20.474 --> 01:01:22.499 +01:11:57.893 --> 01:11:59.918 He does, does he? -01:01:22.609 --> 01:01:25.077 +01:12:00.028 --> 01:12:02.496 Let me tell you something, shitbird. -01:01:25.178 --> 01:01:27.612 +01:12:02.597 --> 01:12:05.031 I've never even heard of your little agency. -01:01:27.714 --> 01:01:29.682 +01:12:05.133 --> 01:12:07.101 But if you think you can poach my client... -01:01:29.783 --> 01:01:34.311 +01:12:07.202 --> 01:12:11.730 Send $50 million, or you no see -Simple Jack again because we kill him. +simple Jack again because we kill him. -01:01:34.421 --> 01:01:35.911 -This is Les Grossman. Who is this? +01:12:11.840 --> 01:12:13.330 +This is les Grossman. Who is this? -01:01:36.022 --> 01:01:38.320 -This is Flaming Dragon! +01:12:13.442 --> 01:12:15.740 +This is flaming dragon! -01:01:38.425 --> 01:01:41.189 -Okay. Flaming Dragon. Fuckface. +01:12:15.844 --> 01:12:18.608 +Okay. Flaming dragon. Fuckface. -01:01:41.294 --> 01:01:46.129 +01:12:18.714 --> 01:12:23.549 First, take a big step back and literally fuck your own face! -01:01:47.501 --> 01:01:50.231 +01:12:24.920 --> 01:12:27.650 Now, I don't know what kind of -pan-Pacific bullshit power play +pan-pacific bullshit power play -01:01:50.337 --> 01:01:52.805 +01:12:27.756 --> 01:12:30.224 you're trying to pull here, but Asia, Jack, is my territory. -01:01:52.906 --> 01:01:54.203 +01:12:30.325 --> 01:12:31.622 So whatever you're thinking, you better think again. -01:01:54.307 --> 01:01:55.672 +01:12:31.727 --> 01:12:33.092 Otherwise, I'm gonna have to head down there, -01:01:55.775 --> 01:01:59.142 +01:12:33.195 --> 01:12:36.562 and I will rain down an ungodly fucking firestorm upon you. -01:01:59.246 --> 01:02:00.873 +01:12:36.665 --> 01:12:38.292 You're gonna have to call -the fucking United Nations +the fucking united nations -01:02:00.981 --> 01:02:05.008 +01:12:38.400 --> 01:12:42.427 and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. -01:02:05.118 --> 01:02:07.712 +01:12:42.537 --> 01:12:45.131 I am talking scorched earth, motherfucker! -01:02:07.821 --> 01:02:09.584 +01:12:45.240 --> 01:12:47.003 I will massacre you! -01:02:09.689 --> 01:02:11.623 +01:12:47.109 --> 01:12:49.043 I will fuck you up! -01:02:19.432 --> 01:02:21.161 +01:12:56.852 --> 01:12:58.892 - Could you find out who that was? Go. - Yeah. Yeah. -01:02:56.603 --> 01:02:59.595 +01:13:34.022 --> 01:13:37.014 You wear these. -More like Simple Jack teeth. +More like simple Jack teeth. -01:02:59.706 --> 01:03:01.435 +01:13:37.125 --> 01:13:38.854 Okay. -01:03:01.541 --> 01:03:04.203 +01:13:38.960 --> 01:13:41.622 Hey. Look, I know you're a big fan, and that's great... -01:03:07.280 --> 01:03:08.907 +01:13:44.699 --> 01:13:46.326 Put teeth in! -01:03:16.022 --> 01:03:17.887 +01:13:53.441 --> 01:13:55.306 Now do movie. -01:03:17.991 --> 01:03:19.652 +01:13:55.410 --> 01:13:57.071 The whole movie? -01:03:19.759 --> 01:03:21.420 +01:13:57.179 --> 01:13:58.840 I can't. I don't know the whole... -01:03:21.528 --> 01:03:24.019 +01:13:58.947 --> 01:14:01.438 You perform! You perform or die! -01:03:24.764 --> 01:03:26.254 +01:14:02.184 --> 01:14:03.674 Monkey swine! -01:03:29.169 --> 01:03:30.568 +01:14:06.588 --> 01:14:07.987 Pa. -01:03:32.539 --> 01:03:33.904 +01:14:09.958 --> 01:14:11.323 More stupid! -01:03:35.675 --> 01:03:40.738 +01:14:13.094 --> 01:14:18.157 Pa, why you gotta make me feel bad? -01:03:43.183 --> 01:03:44.514 +01:14:20.602 --> 01:14:21.933 You saw what I saw. -01:03:44.618 --> 01:03:47.212 -Tugg Speedman is dead meat +01:14:22.037 --> 01:14:24.631 +Tugg speedman is dead meat if we don't do something soon. -01:03:47.320 --> 01:03:49.686 +01:14:24.739 --> 01:14:27.105 Yeah. We could do something by getting our asses back to the hotel, -01:03:49.789 --> 01:03:51.120 +01:14:27.209 --> 01:14:28.540 which is in the other direction! -01:03:51.224 --> 01:03:52.816 +01:14:28.643 --> 01:14:30.235 Ain't right. -01:03:52.926 --> 01:03:54.951 +01:14:30.345 --> 01:14:32.370 What would've happened -in The Great Escape +in the great escape -01:03:55.061 --> 01:03:58.895 +01:14:32.480 --> 01:14:36.314 if Steve McQueen and them dudes had turned tail and ran? -01:03:58.999 --> 01:04:02.992 +01:14:36.418 --> 01:14:40.411 Well, that's what that movie was about. They were escaping. They ran away. -01:04:03.103 --> 01:04:05.731 +01:14:40.522 --> 01:14:43.150 I'm trying to agree with you. The point is they did something. -01:04:05.839 --> 01:04:07.033 +01:14:43.258 --> 01:14:44.452 Then what are we supposed to do, huh? -01:04:07.140 --> 01:04:11.042 +01:14:44.559 --> 01:14:48.461 'Cause he's cleaning a gun with no bullets. Yeah, that's a plan. -01:04:11.144 --> 01:04:14.944 +01:14:48.563 --> 01:14:52.693 I'm just like a little boy, playing with his dick when he's nervous. -01:04:18.485 --> 01:04:20.976 +01:14:55.904 --> 01:14:58.395 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. -01:04:21.087 --> 01:04:24.147 +01:14:58.506 --> 01:15:01.566 I got an idea. This might be a little crazy. -01:04:24.257 --> 01:04:26.225 +01:15:01.676 --> 01:15:03.644 Crazy's better than nothing. -01:04:26.326 --> 01:04:30.285 +01:15:03.745 --> 01:15:07.704 Back in '98, I did a low-budget -titty comedy for Skinemax. +titty comedy for skinemax. -01:04:30.397 --> 01:04:33.730 -- Sex Camp. Remember it? +01:15:07.816 --> 01:15:11.149 +- Sex camp. Remember it? - Yeah. -01:04:33.833 --> 01:04:37.792 +01:15:11.253 --> 01:15:15.212 Anyway, me and the campers from the uncool camp -01:04:37.904 --> 01:04:40.429 +01:15:15.323 --> 01:15:17.848 had to break into the rich girl camp. -01:04:40.540 --> 01:04:42.235 +01:15:17.959 --> 01:15:19.654 So, what we did, -01:04:42.342 --> 01:04:45.334 +01:15:19.761 --> 01:15:22.753 we built a catapult out of logs and underwear, -01:04:45.445 --> 01:04:49.006 +01:15:22.864 --> 01:15:26.425 and they shot us over the wall, and we parachuted down. -01:04:54.621 --> 01:04:55.986 -Look, +01:15:32.040 --> 01:15:35.567 +Look, you guys, we +already know the plan. -01:04:56.089 --> 01:04:59.388 -- you guys, we already know the plan. -- Fine. +01:15:35.677 --> 01:15:37.645 +Are you fucking kidding me? +I'm giving you gold. -01:04:59.492 --> 01:05:03.861 +01:15:37.746 --> 01:15:42.115 We do it just like in the book, -Chapter 26, the Wet Offensive. +chapter 26, the wet offensive. -01:05:03.963 --> 01:05:06.363 -The book of Tropic Thunder. +01:15:42.217 --> 01:15:44.617 +The book of tropic thunder. -01:05:06.466 --> 01:05:08.696 +01:15:44.719 --> 01:15:46.949 Yeah, did you guys read the book? -01:05:10.003 --> 01:05:12.631 +01:15:48.256 --> 01:15:50.884 The flap, I read the back flap and saw the pictures. -01:05:13.406 --> 01:05:16.534 +01:15:51.660 --> 01:15:54.788 Well, it's okay. It's exactly the same as in the script. -01:05:16.643 --> 01:05:17.701 +01:15:54.896 --> 01:15:55.954 Cool. -01:05:19.679 --> 01:05:22.239 +01:15:57.933 --> 01:16:00.493 You guys all read the script, right? -01:05:22.349 --> 01:05:24.442 +01:16:00.602 --> 01:16:02.695 I don't read the script, script reads me. -01:05:25.618 --> 01:05:27.085 +01:16:03.872 --> 01:16:05.339 What the hell does that even mean? -01:05:27.187 --> 01:05:30.554 +01:16:05.440 --> 01:16:08.807 What you getting at with the books, scripts? Spit that shit out, man! -01:05:33.893 --> 01:05:35.724 -All right. The Wet Offensive. +01:16:12.147 --> 01:16:13.978 +All right. The wet offensive. -01:05:36.763 --> 01:05:39.664 -Osiris and Fats go undercover +01:16:15.016 --> 01:16:17.918 +Osiris and fats go undercover as a diversion. -01:05:39.766 --> 01:05:42.098 +01:16:18.019 --> 01:16:20.351 Motown and Brooklyn sneak in via the river. -01:05:42.202 --> 01:05:44.602 +01:16:20.455 --> 01:16:22.855 Yeah. But those dudes was trained soldiers. -01:05:46.473 --> 01:05:47.531 +01:16:24.726 --> 01:16:25.784 Yeah! -01:05:48.608 --> 01:05:51.600 +01:16:26.861 --> 01:16:29.853 And we trained actors, motherfucker. -01:05:51.711 --> 01:05:56.045 +01:16:29.965 --> 01:16:34.299 Time to man up. And I ain't gonna sugarcoat. -01:05:56.149 --> 01:05:58.913 +01:16:34.402 --> 01:16:37.166 Some of us might not even make it back. -01:05:59.018 --> 01:06:02.112 +01:16:37.272 --> 01:16:40.366 What do you mean? Like not on the same flight? -01:06:04.824 --> 01:06:07.588 +01:16:43.078 --> 01:16:45.842 Alpa and I's already wearing earth mama's natural night camo. -01:06:07.694 --> 01:06:09.525 +01:16:45.947 --> 01:16:47.778 - Cool it, Benson. - Sorry. -01:06:10.597 --> 01:06:15.125 +01:16:48.850 --> 01:16:53.378 We gonna scout, get a plan together. We ain't back in 20, come looking. -01:06:16.636 --> 01:06:18.501 -We are Flaming Dragon. +01:16:54.889 --> 01:16:56.754 +We are flaming dragon. -01:06:22.242 --> 01:06:23.436 +01:17:00.495 --> 01:17:01.689 Okay. -01:06:24.744 --> 01:06:27.838 -Flaming Dragon's +01:17:02.998 --> 01:17:06.092 +Flaming dragon's a heroin manufacturer. -01:06:27.947 --> 01:06:31.041 +01:17:06.201 --> 01:17:09.295 They're responsible for an eighth of the drug trade in Asia. -01:06:31.151 --> 01:06:34.382 +01:17:09.404 --> 01:17:12.635 - Huge profit margin. - Guys! -01:06:34.487 --> 01:06:37.422 +01:17:12.741 --> 01:17:15.676 Would somebody please let me know what the game plan is? -01:06:37.524 --> 01:06:39.253 +01:17:15.777 --> 01:17:17.506 Peck! We have it handled. -01:06:39.359 --> 01:06:41.850 +01:17:17.612 --> 01:17:20.103 Please, don't interrupt. Everything's under control. -01:06:41.961 --> 01:06:43.952 +01:17:20.215 --> 01:17:22.206 I got it. Got it. -01:06:56.075 --> 01:06:58.305 +01:17:34.329 --> 01:17:36.559 - Les Grossman. - We not get money yet. -01:06:58.845 --> 01:07:00.972 +01:17:37.098 --> 01:17:39.225 Price now 100 million! -01:07:01.080 --> 01:07:03.913 +01:17:39.334 --> 01:17:42.167 You pay now, -or tomorrow Simple Jack die. +or tomorrow simple Jack die. -01:07:04.017 --> 01:07:07.077 +01:17:42.270 --> 01:17:45.330 Great. Let me get this down. -01:07:07.187 --> 01:07:08.620 +01:17:45.440 --> 01:17:46.873 100 million. -01:07:08.721 --> 01:07:11.189 +01:17:46.975 --> 01:17:49.443 Wait! I got a better idea. -01:07:11.991 --> 01:07:13.822 +01:17:50.245 --> 01:17:52.076 Instead of 100 million, -01:07:13.927 --> 01:07:16.663 +01:17:52.180 --> 01:17:55.047 how about I send you a hobo's dick cheese? -01:07:16.896 --> 01:07:19.194 +01:17:55.150 --> 01:17:57.470 Then you kill him! Do your thing! Skin the fucking bastard! -01:07:19.299 --> 01:07:21.494 +01:17:57.552 --> 01:17:59.747 Go to town, man! Go to town! -01:07:21.601 --> 01:07:23.762 +01:17:59.854 --> 01:18:02.015 - No... - In the meantime, and as usual, -01:07:23.870 --> 01:07:25.531 +01:18:02.123 --> 01:18:03.784 go fuck yourself! -01:07:26.639 --> 01:07:29.199 +01:18:04.893 --> 01:18:07.453 - No. - We don't negotiate with terrorists. -01:07:31.311 --> 01:07:34.041 +01:18:09.564 --> 01:18:12.294 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, hey, are you insane? -01:07:34.147 --> 01:07:35.978 +01:18:12.400 --> 01:18:14.231 - I think I could've done that better. - I thought it was good. -01:07:36.082 --> 01:07:37.379 +01:18:14.335 --> 01:18:16.200 They're gonna kill him! -01:07:43.256 --> 01:07:46.453 -And we'll weep for him, in the press. +01:18:19.274 --> 01:18:20.332 +And? -01:07:47.360 --> 01:07:50.022 +01:18:22.677 --> 01:18:23.803 +"And?" + +01:18:25.180 --> 01:18:29.207 +It's a cold, hard world. Shit happens. + +01:18:31.519 --> 01:18:34.716 +We'll weep for him, in the press. + +01:18:34.856 --> 01:18:37.518 Set up a scholarship in his name. -01:07:50.129 --> 01:07:54.065 +01:18:37.625 --> 01:18:41.561 Eventually, and I'm talking way, way down the road, -01:07:54.167 --> 01:07:55.657 +01:18:41.663 --> 01:18:43.153 we file an insurance claim. -01:07:55.768 --> 01:07:58.566 +01:18:43.264 --> 01:18:46.062 Preferably before the end of the fiscal year. -01:07:58.671 --> 01:08:02.402 +01:18:46.167 --> 01:18:49.898 Actually, the claim alone would net us more than the movie would lose. -01:08:04.511 --> 01:08:06.274 +01:18:52.006 --> 01:18:53.769 You can't be serious. -01:08:08.214 --> 01:08:09.909 +01:18:55.009 --> 01:18:56.567 +You kick in the door to my house, + +01:18:56.678 --> 01:19:02.139 +all ants in your pants, +sucking my left nut to get a TiVo scrap + +01:19:02.250 --> 01:19:06.846 +for the third runner-up +sexiest man alive 1998, + +01:19:06.955 --> 01:19:09.321 +and you're asking if I'm serious? + +01:19:13.194 --> 01:19:14.889 Let's face it. -01:08:10.016 --> 01:08:14.043 -The kids aren't dressing up as Scorcher -for Purim anymore. +01:19:14.996 --> 01:19:19.023 +The kids aren't dressing up as scorcher +for purim anymore. -01:08:15.455 --> 01:08:18.447 +01:19:20.435 --> 01:19:23.427 Speedman is a dying star, -01:08:18.558 --> 01:08:21.789 +01:19:23.538 --> 01:19:26.769 a white dwarf heading for a black hole. -01:08:21.895 --> 01:08:24.625 +01:19:26.875 --> 01:19:29.605 That's physics. It's inevitable. -01:08:24.731 --> 01:08:28.064 +01:19:29.711 --> 01:19:33.044 We've been handed -an incredible opportunity here, Peck. +an incredible opportunity here, peck. -01:08:28.167 --> 01:08:32.001 +01:19:33.148 --> 01:19:36.982 The universe is talking to us right now. -01:08:32.105 --> 01:08:33.663 +01:19:37.085 --> 01:19:38.643 You just gotta listen. -01:08:46.786 --> 01:08:50.381 -See, this is the good part, Pecker. +01:19:51.766 --> 01:19:55.361 +See, this is the good part, pecker. This is when the job gets fun. -01:08:50.490 --> 01:08:51.582 +01:19:55.470 --> 01:19:56.562 Yeah. -01:08:51.691 --> 01:08:54.854 +01:19:56.671 --> 01:19:59.834 Ask and you shall receive. -01:08:55.895 --> 01:09:00.025 +01:20:00.875 --> 01:20:05.005 - All right. - You play ball, we play ball. -01:09:00.133 --> 01:09:03.500 +01:20:05.113 --> 01:20:08.480 I know you want the goodies. -01:09:03.603 --> 01:09:05.594 +01:20:08.583 --> 01:20:10.574 Welcome to the goody room. -01:09:05.705 --> 01:09:10.335 +01:20:10.685 --> 01:20:15.315 You paying attention? -'Cause I'm talking G5 for the Pecker. +'Cause I'm talking g5 for the pecker. -01:09:10.443 --> 01:09:11.705 +01:20:15.423 --> 01:20:16.685 That's how you're gonna roll. -01:09:11.811 --> 01:09:15.770 +01:20:16.791 --> 01:20:20.750 No more frequent flier -bitch miles for my boy. +bitch Miles for my boy. -01:09:15.882 --> 01:09:17.179 +01:20:20.862 --> 01:20:22.159 Yeah! -01:09:17.684 --> 01:09:18.946 +01:20:22.664 --> 01:20:23.926 Playa. -01:09:19.819 --> 01:09:21.150 +01:20:24.799 --> 01:20:26.130 Playa! -01:09:22.188 --> 01:09:23.485 +01:20:27.168 --> 01:20:28.465 Big dick playa. -01:09:23.590 --> 01:09:25.581 +01:20:28.570 --> 01:20:30.561 Swinging past your knees! -01:09:25.692 --> 01:09:26.716 +01:20:30.672 --> 01:20:31.696 Big dick, baby. -01:09:26.826 --> 01:09:28.020 +01:20:31.806 --> 01:20:33.000 Yep. -01:09:31.364 --> 01:09:33.958 +01:20:36.344 --> 01:20:38.938 Or you can grow a conscience -01:09:34.067 --> 01:09:36.433 +01:20:39.047 --> 01:20:41.413 in the next five minutes and see where that takes you. -01:09:41.407 --> 01:09:43.500 +01:20:46.387 --> 01:20:48.480 Let me get this straight. -01:09:43.610 --> 01:09:47.239 +01:20:48.590 --> 01:20:52.219 You want me to let my client of 15 years, -01:09:47.347 --> 01:09:48.712 +01:20:52.327 --> 01:20:53.692 one of my best friends, -01:09:48.815 --> 01:09:53.445 +01:20:53.795 --> 01:20:58.425 die in the jungle, alone, -for some money and a G5? +for some money and a g5? -01:09:54.587 --> 01:09:55.713 +01:20:59.567 --> 01:21:00.693 Yes. -01:10:00.793 --> 01:10:03.057 -A G5 airplane? +01:21:05.773 --> 01:21:08.037 +A g5 airplane? -01:10:05.164 --> 01:10:06.222 +01:21:10.144 --> 01:21:11.202 Yes. -01:10:07.300 --> 01:10:09.996 +01:21:12.280 --> 01:21:14.976 And lots of money. -01:10:11.371 --> 01:10:13.532 +01:21:16.351 --> 01:21:18.512 Playa. -01:10:16.442 --> 01:10:17.636 +01:21:21.422 --> 01:21:22.616 Yeah! -01:10:18.878 --> 01:10:21.472 +01:21:23.858 --> 01:21:26.452 Smack it up, flip it, rub it down! -01:10:24.050 --> 01:10:26.712 -But Mama take care of Jack a lot. +01:21:29.030 --> 01:21:31.692 +But mama take care of Jack a lot. -01:10:27.553 --> 01:10:31.284 +01:21:32.533 --> 01:21:36.264 How many more sleeps before she wakes up again? -01:10:31.391 --> 01:10:32.915 +01:21:36.371 --> 01:21:37.895 Sorry, Jack. -01:10:33.026 --> 01:10:35.290 +01:21:38.006 --> 01:21:40.270 She in heaven now. -01:10:36.062 --> 01:10:39.327 +01:21:41.042 --> 01:21:44.307 Damn! I thought the movie was bad. -01:10:39.432 --> 01:10:42.560 +01:21:44.412 --> 01:21:47.540 She sleep forever. -01:10:42.669 --> 01:10:45.797 +01:21:47.649 --> 01:21:50.777 To the man's credit, he's actually eased up on the retard throttle. -01:10:45.905 --> 01:10:49.500 +01:21:50.885 --> 01:21:54.480 And now that's added a balance, and the audience can connect. -01:10:49.609 --> 01:10:53.409 -I mean, this is Theater 101, +01:21:54.589 --> 01:21:58.389 +I mean, this is theater 101, but, you know, he's had a tough road. -01:10:53.513 --> 01:10:54.639 +01:21:58.493 --> 01:21:59.619 He'll become a naturalist. -01:10:54.747 --> 01:10:56.442 +01:21:59.727 --> 01:22:01.447 - Yeah. - Break down the aesthetic distance, -01:10:56.549 --> 01:10:58.278 +01:22:01.529 --> 01:22:03.258 then the... -01:11:00.953 --> 01:11:02.580 +01:22:05.933 --> 01:22:07.560 Told you I'd tag you back. -01:11:05.258 --> 01:11:07.522 +01:22:10.238 --> 01:22:12.502 Can I tell you that I'm sorry -01:11:07.627 --> 01:11:09.925 +01:22:12.607 --> 01:22:14.905 for any offense I might've caused, man? -01:11:10.029 --> 01:11:12.395 +01:22:15.009 --> 01:22:17.375 - I just got caught up in... - In being a dumbass? -01:11:12.498 --> 01:11:13.897 +01:22:17.478 --> 01:22:18.877 I guess so. -01:11:14.000 --> 01:11:16.696 +01:22:18.980 --> 01:22:21.676 Why you still doing this -Chicken George shit, I have no idea. +chicken George shit, I have no idea. -01:11:16.803 --> 01:11:18.100 +01:22:21.783 --> 01:22:23.080 - Neither do I. - It's beyond me. -01:11:18.204 --> 01:11:20.399 +01:22:23.184 --> 01:22:25.379 - It's beyond me. - You confused. -01:11:20.506 --> 01:11:22.440 +01:22:25.486 --> 01:22:27.420 - I am a little confused. - I know. -01:11:24.043 --> 01:11:25.840 +01:22:29.023 --> 01:22:30.820 But are we cool? -01:11:25.945 --> 01:11:27.276 +01:22:30.925 --> 01:22:32.256 Not really. -01:11:31.084 --> 01:11:32.676 +01:22:36.064 --> 01:22:37.656 Hey, man. -01:11:32.785 --> 01:11:34.480 +01:22:37.765 --> 01:22:39.460 - How's it going? - Good. Yourself? -01:11:34.587 --> 01:11:36.612 +01:22:39.567 --> 01:22:41.592 Hey, so, if it's no big deal, -01:11:36.723 --> 01:11:39.590 +01:22:41.703 --> 01:22:44.570 I think I'm just gonna hang back here for the mission. -01:11:39.692 --> 01:11:41.319 +01:22:44.672 --> 01:22:46.299 Watch the stuff. -01:11:41.427 --> 01:11:43.452 +01:22:46.407 --> 01:22:48.432 - Is that cool? - What? No! -01:11:43.563 --> 01:11:45.463 +01:22:48.543 --> 01:22:50.443 We need you, Jeff. -01:11:45.565 --> 01:11:47.157 +01:22:50.545 --> 01:22:52.137 What are you talking about? -01:11:47.266 --> 01:11:48.824 +01:22:52.246 --> 01:22:53.804 Okay, look, man. -01:11:50.069 --> 01:11:52.367 +01:22:55.049 --> 01:22:57.347 - I got something to tell you. - Okay. -01:11:54.607 --> 01:11:57.337 +01:22:59.587 --> 01:23:02.317 You know those jellybeans I was eating? -01:11:57.443 --> 01:12:00.537 +01:23:02.423 --> 01:23:05.517 Well, they weren't jellybeans, okay? -01:12:01.447 --> 01:12:04.245 +01:23:06.427 --> 01:23:09.225 - They were drugs. - Really? -01:12:04.350 --> 01:12:08.719 +01:23:09.330 --> 01:23:13.699 I get down there near the mother lode, I am done. I'm jonesing bad, man. -01:12:08.821 --> 01:12:11.756 +01:23:13.801 --> 01:23:16.736 I'm gonna fucking do all the heroin in the fucking world. -01:12:15.061 --> 01:12:19.225 +01:23:20.041 --> 01:23:24.205 If you guys wanna make it through this thing, you gotta strap me to a tree. -01:12:20.600 --> 01:12:24.366 +01:23:25.580 --> 01:23:29.346 - Are you serious? - Yeah, I'm serious. Literally, a tree. -01:12:24.470 --> 01:12:27.337 +01:23:29.450 --> 01:23:32.330 And you can, no matter what, you can't fucking untie me until it is done, -01:12:27.440 --> 01:12:28.998 +01:23:32.420 --> 01:23:33.978 until it is out of my system. -01:12:29.108 --> 01:12:30.735 +01:23:34.088 --> 01:23:35.715 I'm gonna say, -"Hey, man, I'm cool. It's cool. +"hey, man, I'm cool. It's cool. -01:12:30.843 --> 01:12:32.401 +01:23:35.823 --> 01:23:37.381 "I'm finally better. I'm finally better. Untie me." -01:12:32.512 --> 01:12:35.709 +01:23:37.492 --> 01:23:40.689 Don't listen to me! Anything I fucking say is a lie! -01:12:35.815 --> 01:12:37.146 +01:23:40.795 --> 01:23:42.126 You got it! -01:12:37.817 --> 01:12:39.876 -Goodbye, Mama! +01:23:42.797 --> 01:23:44.856 +Goodbye, mama! -01:12:39.986 --> 01:12:43.114 +01:23:44.966 --> 01:23:48.094 Now you can have ice cream in heaven. -01:12:43.222 --> 01:12:48.182 +01:23:48.202 --> 01:23:53.162 I'll see you tonight, when I go to bed, in my head movies. -01:12:49.128 --> 01:12:53.724 +01:23:54.108 --> 01:23:58.704 But this head movie makes my eyes rain. -01:13:02.775 --> 01:13:06.006 -Dang. Gilligan catching a kidney shot. +01:24:07.755 --> 01:24:10.986 +Dang. +Short-bus is taking some real hits. -01:13:07.880 --> 01:13:10.678 +01:24:12.860 --> 01:24:15.658 - They got him on the move! - That's torture, man. -01:13:10.817 --> 01:13:13.684 +01:24:15.797 --> 01:24:18.664 Okay. That's where they keeping him. -01:13:13.786 --> 01:13:15.981 +01:24:18.766 --> 01:24:20.961 I gotta get cracking on my costume. -01:13:16.088 --> 01:13:17.487 +01:24:21.068 --> 01:24:22.467 Say, are you good with a needle and thread? -01:13:17.590 --> 01:13:18.614 +01:24:22.570 --> 01:24:23.594 Hell, yeah. -01:13:18.724 --> 01:13:22.057 -Alpa Chino chinos sold more than -five million pairs last spring at the Gap. +01:24:23.704 --> 01:24:27.037 +Alpa chino chinos sold more than +five million pairs last spring at the gap. -01:13:22.161 --> 01:13:24.857 +01:24:27.141 --> 01:24:29.837 - I sewed them patterns myself, baby. - Let's roll out. -01:13:56.863 --> 01:13:59.093 +01:25:01.843 --> 01:25:04.073 It's a little twig man Oscar. -01:14:05.705 --> 01:14:08.105 -I'm going to call you Half Squat. +01:25:10.685 --> 01:25:13.085 +I'm going to call you half squat. -01:14:09.809 --> 01:14:11.777 +01:25:14.789 --> 01:25:16.757 And you can call me -01:14:12.845 --> 01:14:14.142 -Papa. +01:25:17.825 --> 01:25:19.122 +papa. -01:14:37.637 --> 01:14:39.366 +01:25:42.617 --> 01:25:44.346 Wow, look at all those stars. -01:14:41.340 --> 01:14:43.308 +01:25:46.320 --> 01:25:48.288 Really makes a guy feel pretty small. -01:14:44.844 --> 01:14:47.246 +01:25:49.824 --> 01:25:52.384 This could be the last time we look at these stars. -01:14:48.381 --> 01:14:49.848 +01:25:53.361 --> 01:25:54.828 Man, that's beauty. -01:14:51.784 --> 01:14:54.844 +01:25:56.764 --> 01:25:59.824 Nights like tonight make a man wonder what it's all about. -01:14:54.954 --> 01:14:57.252 +01:25:59.934 --> 01:26:02.232 Hey, you guys. Anybody got some bug spray? -01:14:59.091 --> 01:15:00.217 +01:26:04.071 --> 01:26:05.197 Don't ignore me! -01:15:00.326 --> 01:15:03.193 +01:26:05.306 --> 01:26:08.173 Stick it out, man. We're gonna get through this. -01:15:04.330 --> 01:15:06.389 -- Hey, Kirk? +01:26:09.310 --> 01:26:11.369 +- Hey, kirk? - Yeah? -01:15:06.499 --> 01:15:09.332 +01:26:11.479 --> 01:26:14.312 Are you still dating -Jennifer Love Hewitt? +Jennifer love Hewitt? -01:15:09.435 --> 01:15:10.834 +01:26:14.415 --> 01:26:15.814 'Cause I think she's hot. -01:15:10.937 --> 01:15:14.304 +01:26:15.917 --> 01:26:19.284 No, that was just some tabloid conjecture. -01:15:14.407 --> 01:15:18.400 +01:26:19.387 --> 01:26:23.380 Hey, guys, I'm good. I made it through. You can untie me now. -01:15:19.478 --> 01:15:20.809 +01:26:24.458 --> 01:26:25.789 Funny, huh? -01:15:20.913 --> 01:15:23.814 +01:26:25.893 --> 01:26:28.794 The circus life 280 days a year on location. -01:15:25.051 --> 01:15:27.952 +01:26:30.031 --> 01:26:32.932 It's hard to find a girl that can hang with that, you know? -01:15:29.755 --> 01:15:31.814 +01:26:34.735 --> 01:26:36.794 Not one worth keeping, nohow. -01:15:31.924 --> 01:15:34.222 -Hey, Radar? Evans? +01:26:36.904 --> 01:26:39.202 +Hey, radar? Evans? -01:15:34.327 --> 01:15:35.385 +01:26:39.307 --> 01:26:40.365 No, it's Kevin. -01:15:35.494 --> 01:15:37.223 +01:26:40.474 --> 01:26:42.203 Kev, whatever the fuck. Come over here. -01:15:37.330 --> 01:15:39.560 -I didn't tell you, but Fatties: Fart Three +01:26:42.310 --> 01:26:44.540 +I didn't tell you, but fatties: Fart three is coming down the pike, -01:15:39.665 --> 01:15:43.157 +01:26:44.645 --> 01:26:48.137 and there's a role in there for you if you come over and untie me. -01:15:43.269 --> 01:15:45.829 +01:26:48.249 --> 01:26:50.809 Jeff, you're just going to have to tough it out. -01:15:45.938 --> 01:15:47.906 +01:26:50.918 --> 01:26:52.886 Your mother's a cankerous whore! -01:15:48.007 --> 01:15:49.338 +01:26:52.987 --> 01:26:54.318 Jesus, man. -01:15:50.376 --> 01:15:51.843 +01:26:55.356 --> 01:26:56.823 Hey, man. -01:15:51.944 --> 01:15:54.845 +01:26:56.924 --> 01:26:59.825 Remember way back when I said your mother was a cankerous whore? -01:15:54.947 --> 01:15:58.348 +01:26:59.927 --> 01:27:03.328 I'm sorry, man. I did not mean that. She's not. -01:15:58.451 --> 01:16:00.146 +01:27:03.431 --> 01:27:05.126 How about you, man? -01:16:00.286 --> 01:16:02.720 +01:27:05.266 --> 01:27:07.700 You got some little minx waiting for you on the other side of tomorrow? -01:16:02.822 --> 01:16:04.289 +01:27:07.802 --> 01:27:09.269 Me? -01:16:04.390 --> 01:16:07.154 +01:27:09.370 --> 01:27:12.134 I've barely even had a girlfriend, and... -01:16:07.994 --> 01:16:11.657 +01:27:12.974 --> 01:27:16.637 I was really hoping I'd get laid when this movie came out, -01:16:11.764 --> 01:16:14.164 +01:27:16.744 --> 01:27:19.144 but that's not gonna happen. -01:16:15.034 --> 01:16:16.501 -What about you, Masterblaster? +01:27:20.014 --> 01:27:21.481 +What about you, masterblaster? -01:16:16.602 --> 01:16:19.230 +01:27:21.582 --> 01:27:24.263 You got a certain someone you trying -to get with back in the States? +to get with back in the states? -01:16:19.338 --> 01:16:24.071 -What, Alpa Chino? +01:27:24.318 --> 01:27:29.051 +What, alpa chino? He's like 10 girls deep, 24/7. -01:16:24.176 --> 01:16:25.404 +01:27:29.156 --> 01:27:30.384 No. You missing me, man. -01:16:25.511 --> 01:16:27.308 +01:27:30.491 --> 01:27:32.288 I'm talking about something special. Big difference. -01:16:27.413 --> 01:16:28.607 +01:27:32.393 --> 01:27:33.587 How about it? -01:16:29.382 --> 01:16:30.508 +01:27:34.362 --> 01:27:35.488 Yeah. -01:16:31.917 --> 01:16:33.885 +01:27:36.897 --> 01:27:38.865 Yeah, there is. -01:16:33.986 --> 01:16:37.319 +01:27:38.966 --> 01:27:42.299 Well? What's the skinny? Y'all been on a date or what? -01:16:37.423 --> 01:16:39.323 +01:27:42.403 --> 01:27:44.303 No. I mean... -01:16:39.425 --> 01:16:44.260 +01:27:44.405 --> 01:27:49.240 I always wanted to, but I guess I just never had the courage to ask. -01:16:44.363 --> 01:16:46.058 -It's... It's complicated. +01:27:49.343 --> 01:27:51.038 +It's... it's complicated. -01:16:46.165 --> 01:16:48.599 +01:27:51.145 --> 01:27:53.579 No! It's simple as pie, man. -01:16:48.701 --> 01:16:51.295 +01:27:53.681 --> 01:27:56.275 You plant your feet in the ground, you look her square in the eyes, you say, -01:16:51.404 --> 01:16:55.033 -"Hey, baby, you and me's going +01:27:56.384 --> 01:28:00.013 +"hey, baby, you and me's going on a date." That's the end of story. -01:16:55.141 --> 01:16:57.837 +01:28:00.121 --> 01:28:02.817 - What's her name? - Lance. -01:16:57.943 --> 01:16:59.706 +01:28:02.923 --> 01:28:04.686 "Listen here, Lance..." -01:17:00.579 --> 01:17:04.379 +01:28:05.559 --> 01:28:09.359 Lance? What the fuck did I just hear? Lance? -01:17:04.483 --> 01:17:06.212 +01:28:09.463 --> 01:28:11.192 - Did you say "Lance"? - No! -01:17:06.318 --> 01:17:08.252 +01:28:11.298 --> 01:28:13.258 - That sounded like "Lance." - No, I said "Nance." -01:17:08.354 --> 01:17:10.515 +01:28:13.334 --> 01:28:15.575 - That's what I said, "Nance." - It sounded like "Lance." -01:17:10.623 --> 01:17:12.147 -Look, I'm Alpa Chino, okay? +01:28:15.603 --> 01:28:17.127 +Look, I'm alpa chino, okay? -01:17:12.258 --> 01:17:13.919 +01:28:17.238 --> 01:28:18.899 I love the pussy! All right? -01:17:14.026 --> 01:17:15.926 +01:28:19.006 --> 01:28:20.906 Lay your ass back down and look at the stars. -01:17:16.062 --> 01:17:17.393 -When you wrote I Love Tha Pussy +01:28:21.042 --> 01:28:22.373 +When you wrote I love tha pussy -01:17:17.496 --> 01:17:20.863 +01:28:22.476 --> 01:28:25.843 was you thinking of dangling your dice on Lance's forehead? -01:17:20.966 --> 01:17:23.332 +01:28:25.946 --> 01:28:28.312 Oh, hell, no! What? Come on. Look. -01:17:23.436 --> 01:17:26.371 +01:28:28.416 --> 01:28:31.351 - Man, everyone's gay once in a while. - I'm not gay! -01:17:26.472 --> 01:17:27.496 +01:28:31.452 --> 01:28:32.476 This Hollywood. -01:17:27.606 --> 01:17:28.664 +01:28:32.586 --> 01:28:33.644 How about we all get back to work? -01:17:28.774 --> 01:17:30.435 +01:28:33.754 --> 01:28:35.415 - Okay. Cool. - This is ridiculous! -01:17:30.543 --> 01:17:33.444 +01:28:35.523 --> 01:28:38.424 We got a big day tomorrow. Let's get focused. -01:17:36.015 --> 01:17:40.850 +01:28:40.995 --> 01:28:45.830 Alpa, if you untie me, I will literally suck your dick right now. -01:17:40.953 --> 01:17:44.184 +01:28:45.933 --> 01:28:49.164 I told you, for the last time, I love the pussy! -01:17:45.558 --> 01:17:48.391 +01:28:50.538 --> 01:28:53.371 I'll cradle the balls, stroke the shaft, -01:17:48.494 --> 01:17:51.588 +01:28:53.474 --> 01:28:56.568 work the pipe and swallow the gravy. -01:17:51.697 --> 01:17:53.756 +01:28:56.677 --> 01:28:58.736 Get it over here, buddy. Let's do this. -01:18:00.339 --> 01:18:01.397 +01:29:05.319 --> 01:29:06.377 Okay, so, what's the plan? -01:18:01.507 --> 01:18:02.906 -Are you gonna talk Vietnamese +01:29:06.487 --> 01:29:07.886 +Are you gonna talk vietnamese to those dudes? -01:18:03.008 --> 01:18:04.771 +01:29:07.988 --> 01:29:09.751 No. No. Mandarin Chinese. -01:18:04.877 --> 01:18:06.572 +01:29:09.857 --> 01:29:11.552 Which, from what I can tell, is what they speaking down there. -01:18:06.679 --> 01:18:08.237 +01:29:11.659 --> 01:29:13.217 How the hell do you know Chinese? -01:18:08.347 --> 01:18:11.805 -Land of Silk and Money with Gong Li. -Second Globe, third Oscar. +01:29:13.327 --> 01:29:16.785 +Land of silk and money with gong li. +Second globe, third Oscar. -01:18:11.917 --> 01:18:15.876 +01:29:16.897 --> 01:29:20.856 Prepped for that one by working in a Beijing textile factory for eight months. -01:18:15.988 --> 01:18:17.922 +01:29:20.968 --> 01:29:22.902 That might be our ride. -01:18:27.733 --> 01:18:28.961 +01:29:39.653 --> 01:29:40.881 The straps are too tight! -01:18:29.068 --> 01:18:31.434 +01:29:40.988 --> 01:29:43.354 Shut your mouth and follow my lead. -01:19:24.290 --> 01:19:25.484 +01:30:11.252 --> 01:30:14.221 +The straps are cutting off +my circulation! + +01:30:14.321 --> 01:30:15.321 +Fuck you! + +01:30:22.797 --> 01:30:25.698 +Not the fucking bull again. +Fucking asshole. + +01:31:19.753 --> 01:31:22.449 +Laz, don't let him take me off the yak. + +01:31:26.961 --> 01:31:29.225 +Bitch whore! Fucking hate you! + +01:31:39.373 --> 01:31:40.567 Okay. -01:19:27.693 --> 01:19:29.251 +01:31:42.776 --> 01:31:44.334 All right. -01:19:29.361 --> 01:19:31.761 +01:31:44.445 --> 01:31:46.845 That looks like it could be the munitions hut right there. -01:19:31.864 --> 01:19:33.923 -I'm gonna try to find Speedman +01:31:46.947 --> 01:31:49.006 +I'm gonna try to find speedman in the main building. -01:19:53.419 --> 01:19:55.011 +01:32:06.901 --> 01:32:10.598 +I don't know Chinese but it sounds like +your improvising is for shit. + +01:32:10.704 --> 01:32:11.830 +Oh, fuck! + +01:32:27.354 --> 01:32:28.946 Get over here! -01:19:56.388 --> 01:19:57.946 +01:32:30.324 --> 01:32:31.882 - What are you guys doing here? - He has hands. -01:19:58.057 --> 01:20:00.457 +01:32:31.992 --> 01:32:34.392 - He killed Damien. - Bullshit! -01:20:00.559 --> 01:20:03.050 +01:32:34.495 --> 01:32:36.986 - He blinded Jamie Lee Curtis. - Almost! -01:20:03.162 --> 01:20:06.359 +01:32:37.097 --> 01:32:40.294 What are you talking about? Damien stepped on a old landmine. -01:20:06.465 --> 01:20:08.023 +01:32:40.401 --> 01:32:41.959 Sweet. Thank God. -01:20:08.133 --> 01:20:10.328 -- We busting Speedman out. +01:32:42.069 --> 01:32:44.264 +- We busting speedman out. - Speedman's here? -01:20:19.812 --> 01:20:21.336 -They got my boom boom up here. - -01:20:21.447 --> 01:20:24.041 +01:33:12.433 --> 01:33:15.027 I take it y'all are doing -the Wet Offensive from the book. +the wet offensive from the book. -01:20:24.149 --> 01:20:25.411 +01:33:15.135 --> 01:33:16.397 I can give y'all a diversion. -01:20:25.517 --> 01:20:29.453 +01:33:16.503 --> 01:33:20.439 I got enough shit here to light this place -up like it's the Fourth of fucking July. +up like it's the fourth of fucking July. -01:21:10.929 --> 01:21:13.397 +01:34:01.915 --> 01:34:04.383 Yes, your farm. -01:21:17.770 --> 01:21:20.170 +01:34:08.756 --> 01:34:11.156 Where is your farm, -01:21:21.740 --> 01:21:23.207 +01:34:12.726 --> 01:34:14.193 American? -01:21:26.045 --> 01:21:27.307 +01:34:17.031 --> 01:34:18.293 My farm? -01:21:29.248 --> 01:21:30.510 +01:34:20.234 --> 01:34:21.496 Oh, shit. -01:21:31.283 --> 01:21:34.480 +01:34:22.269 --> 01:34:25.466 Here's my motherfucking farm! -01:21:34.586 --> 01:21:36.076 +01:34:25.572 --> 01:34:27.062 Yeah! -01:21:41.026 --> 01:21:44.018 +01:34:32.012 --> 01:34:35.004 Yeah! Chicka-chickaw, baby! -01:21:45.030 --> 01:21:46.224 -Kwan-Lo! +01:34:36.016 --> 01:34:37.210 +Kwan-lo! -01:21:47.733 --> 01:21:49.633 +01:34:38.719 --> 01:34:40.619 I'm a lead farmer, motherfucker! -01:21:50.135 --> 01:21:51.295 +01:34:41.121 --> 01:34:42.281 Yeah! -01:21:52.871 --> 01:21:56.068 +01:34:43.857 --> 01:34:47.054 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, keep your head down! -01:21:56.175 --> 01:21:58.439 +01:34:47.161 --> 01:34:49.425 Keep your head down on the ground! -01:21:58.544 --> 01:22:00.705 +01:34:49.530 --> 01:34:51.691 Nobody move or I do the little big guy! -01:22:00.813 --> 01:22:04.249 +01:34:51.799 --> 01:34:55.235 That's right, -we running this program now, J.P. +we running this program now, j.P. -01:22:04.350 --> 01:22:06.978 +01:34:55.335 --> 01:34:57.963 Now show me where the drugs are. -01:22:07.086 --> 01:22:08.883 +01:34:58.072 --> 01:34:59.869 What the fuck? -01:22:08.987 --> 01:22:10.682 +01:34:59.973 --> 01:35:01.668 That ain't the plan! -01:22:10.789 --> 01:22:12.484 +01:35:01.775 --> 01:35:03.470 Don't judge me! -01:22:16.161 --> 01:22:17.924 +01:35:07.147 --> 01:35:08.910 He's got a real serious problem. -01:22:18.731 --> 01:22:20.995 +01:35:09.716 --> 01:35:11.980 Hey! Hey, you! -01:22:21.100 --> 01:22:23.295 +01:35:12.086 --> 01:35:16.049 Take off your clothes! -01:22:23.402 --> 01:22:25.063 -Take off your clothes! - -01:22:25.170 --> 01:22:26.467 +01:35:16.156 --> 01:35:17.453 What do we do now? -01:22:26.572 --> 01:22:28.403 -Stick with the plan. Find Speedman. +01:35:17.558 --> 01:35:19.389 +Stick with the plan. Find speedman. -01:22:28.507 --> 01:22:30.907 +01:35:19.493 --> 01:35:21.893 Alpa, keep this clown posse down. Come on now. -01:22:31.009 --> 01:22:34.376 +01:35:21.995 --> 01:35:25.362 Y'all heard the man. Be suede, don't move! -01:22:34.480 --> 01:22:36.380 +01:35:25.466 --> 01:35:27.366 Fuck your do-rag. Fuck your do-rag. -01:22:36.482 --> 01:22:38.973 +01:35:27.468 --> 01:35:29.959 - Door! - One, two, three! -01:22:52.264 --> 01:22:54.095 +01:35:43.250 --> 01:35:45.081 I go high, you go low. -01:22:58.470 --> 01:23:02.338 +01:35:49.456 --> 01:35:53.324 Get down. Get down! Get down! -Chow Yun-Fat, get the hell down! +Chow yun-fat, get the hell down! -01:23:02.441 --> 01:23:05.740 +01:35:53.427 --> 01:35:56.726 If I see one more head pop up, -it's gonna be bullet Whac-A-Mole. +it's gonna be bullet whac-a-mole. -01:23:07.312 --> 01:23:08.745 +01:35:58.298 --> 01:35:59.731 Come on, come on! -01:23:08.847 --> 01:23:10.838 +01:35:59.833 --> 01:36:01.824 - Smoke grenade. - Don't drop it now. -01:23:11.517 --> 01:23:13.075 +01:36:02.503 --> 01:36:04.061 Here. -01:23:13.185 --> 01:23:15.585 +01:36:04.171 --> 01:36:06.568 - What's this? - I don't know what it's called. -01:23:15.687 --> 01:23:18.281 +01:36:06.673 --> 01:36:09.267 I just know the sound it makes when it lies. -01:23:18.390 --> 01:23:21.917 -Don't move, Matchbox, +01:36:09.376 --> 01:36:12.903 +Don't move, matchbox, or I will shoot you. -01:23:22.027 --> 01:23:24.894 +01:36:13.013 --> 01:36:15.880 I'm gonna put on this thing. Don't move. -01:23:24.997 --> 01:23:26.726 +01:36:15.983 --> 01:36:17.712 I can still see you. -01:23:32.871 --> 01:23:33.963 +01:36:23.857 --> 01:36:24.949 Tugg! -01:23:36.508 --> 01:23:37.668 +01:36:27.494 --> 01:36:28.654 Tugg? -01:23:39.745 --> 01:23:40.939 +01:36:30.731 --> 01:36:31.925 Gotcha. -01:23:42.114 --> 01:23:45.015 +01:36:33.100 --> 01:36:36.001 Roll your shit up, man. We going home. -01:23:45.117 --> 01:23:46.243 +01:36:36.103 --> 01:36:37.229 Home? -01:23:48.387 --> 01:23:52.221 +01:36:39.373 --> 01:36:43.207 But I'm doing five shows a day for a standing-room-only crowd. -01:23:52.324 --> 01:23:54.884 +01:36:43.310 --> 01:36:45.870 Don't you get it? I already am home. -01:23:57.196 --> 01:24:00.324 +01:36:48.182 --> 01:36:51.310 All right, now, dude, you gotta get it... -01:24:00.432 --> 01:24:02.627 +01:36:51.418 --> 01:36:53.613 My son gave this to me. -01:24:02.734 --> 01:24:06.226 +01:36:53.720 --> 01:36:57.212 - That's your stick buddy? -- His name is Twigman. +- His name is twigman. -01:24:06.338 --> 01:24:08.169 +01:36:57.324 --> 01:36:59.155 Does he wanna come with us? -01:24:28.427 --> 01:24:30.190 -Get the hell down! +01:37:20.147 --> 01:37:22.274 +Get down! Get down! Get down! -01:24:30.295 --> 01:24:33.355 +01:37:22.382 --> 01:37:27.342 +Maybe y'all heard of me. +Y'all heard of alpa chino? No? + +01:37:27.454 --> 01:37:29.922 +I love that pussy, hell, yeah, hell, yeah + +01:37:30.023 --> 01:37:31.149 +they're not your demo, dude. + +01:37:31.625 --> 01:37:34.025 +Come on. +Six motherfucking vmas, baby. + +01:37:34.127 --> 01:37:37.324 +Two bet awards. Alpa chino. + +01:37:37.431 --> 01:37:43.836 +Like him in carlito's way? + +01:37:44.204 --> 01:37:46.866 +Hey, yo, you know what? +Speak English. I don't speak that stuff. + +01:37:46.974 --> 01:37:48.908 +What're you sayin'? Huh? + +01:37:49.009 --> 01:37:53.571 +Devil's advocate. Dog day afternoon. + +01:37:53.947 --> 01:37:56.780 +Cruising. Sea of love. + +01:37:56.883 --> 01:37:59.875 +Real Al Pacino. + +01:37:59.987 --> 01:38:03.582 +Get the fuck down. That's a whole +different dude altogether. + +01:38:03.690 --> 01:38:06.750 What you doing? What you doing? Don't touch that gun. -01:24:33.465 --> 01:24:34.864 +01:38:06.860 --> 01:38:08.259 Don't do it! Don't touch that gun! -01:24:34.967 --> 01:24:37.265 +01:38:08.362 --> 01:38:10.660 On my momma, if you touch that gun... -01:24:41.907 --> 01:24:44.307 +01:38:15.302 --> 01:38:17.702 - Oh, shit, it's on! - Over here! -01:25:15.641 --> 01:25:17.700 +01:38:52.105 --> 01:38:53.868 +- What're you doing? +- I'm gonna give these boys + +01:38:53.974 --> 01:38:55.601 +a hanoi high-five. + +01:39:08.255 --> 01:39:09.620 Shadow me, Pinocchio! -01:25:17.809 --> 01:25:19.037 +01:39:10.390 --> 01:39:11.618 Smoke! -01:25:24.883 --> 01:25:26.578 +01:39:17.464 --> 01:39:19.159 Oh, shit! -01:25:31.423 --> 01:25:32.947 +01:39:24.004 --> 01:39:25.528 Jeff, don't! -01:25:33.792 --> 01:25:35.783 +01:39:26.373 --> 01:39:28.364 It doesn't matter what I do. -01:25:35.894 --> 01:25:38.863 +01:39:28.475 --> 01:39:31.444 I'll always be a screw-up. No one'll ever respect me. -01:25:38.964 --> 01:25:42.957 +01:39:31.545 --> 01:39:35.538 That is not true, you are not a screw-up! You make so many people laugh. -01:25:43.068 --> 01:25:45.298 +01:39:35.649 --> 01:39:37.879 They only laugh at my farts. -01:25:45.404 --> 01:25:47.395 +01:39:37.984 --> 01:39:39.975 Jeff, we really need to go now! -01:25:47.506 --> 01:25:49.098 +01:39:40.087 --> 01:39:41.679 This is all I deserve! -01:26:09.261 --> 01:26:11.491 +01:40:01.842 --> 01:40:04.072 Laugh at that, you bastards! -01:26:11.597 --> 01:26:14.998 +01:40:04.177 --> 01:40:07.578 Hilarious! Hilarious! -01:26:16.535 --> 01:26:19.368 +01:40:09.116 --> 01:40:11.949 Let's move. We only have 16 hours before they wake up. -01:26:26.979 --> 01:26:28.571 +01:40:28.235 --> 01:40:29.827 Sounds like the dinner bell's ringing. -01:26:28.680 --> 01:26:31.615 +01:40:29.936 --> 01:40:32.871 These assholes are gonna be crawling in here ready to fucking eat us. -01:26:34.553 --> 01:26:37.420 +01:40:35.809 --> 01:40:38.676 There. All right, you keep six right here. -01:26:39.358 --> 01:26:41.519 +01:40:40.614 --> 01:40:42.775 Come on, let's go. -01:26:41.627 --> 01:26:43.561 +01:40:42.883 --> 01:40:44.817 Come on, what are you guys doing? Let's get out of here! -01:26:43.662 --> 01:26:45.323 +01:40:44.918 --> 01:40:46.579 He's on tilt status. -01:26:45.430 --> 01:26:49.389 +01:40:46.686 --> 01:40:50.645 Same thing happened to me when -I played Neil Armstrong in Moonshot. +I played Neil Armstrong in moonshot. -01:26:49.501 --> 01:26:51.594 +01:40:50.757 --> 01:40:52.850 They found me in an alley in Burbank -01:26:51.703 --> 01:26:54.934 -trying to re-enter the Earth's +01:40:52.959 --> 01:40:56.190 +trying to re-enter the earth's atmosphere in an old refrigerator box. -01:27:00.445 --> 01:27:02.675 +01:40:56.930 --> 01:40:57.988 +What're you talking about? + +01:40:58.098 --> 01:41:00.464 +Come on, fellas, we really need to go. + +01:41:00.567 --> 01:41:05.004 +Daggomit, blamtucky, +I ain't re-programming a vcr. + +01:41:10.911 --> 01:41:13.141 Give me the flame thrower. You gotta start the chopper. -01:27:02.781 --> 01:27:06.217 +01:41:13.246 --> 01:41:16.682 - No, fuck that! Just give me this. - No time! I'll take care of this! -01:27:07.452 --> 01:27:09.352 +01:41:17.918 --> 01:41:19.818 All right. Give me your hooks. -01:27:09.454 --> 01:27:11.081 +01:41:19.920 --> 01:41:21.547 Don't worry, I'm not gonna put them on again. -01:27:11.189 --> 01:27:14.022 +01:41:21.655 --> 01:41:24.488 - Just give me your goddamn hooks. - All right. Here. -01:27:14.126 --> 01:27:16.287 +01:41:24.591 --> 01:41:26.752 Get those boys back to the bird, pronto! -01:27:21.233 --> 01:27:23.394 +01:41:31.698 --> 01:41:33.859 Shit! Enough! -01:27:23.502 --> 01:27:25.402 +01:41:33.967 --> 01:41:35.867 Fake shit! -01:27:28.507 --> 01:27:29.633 +01:41:38.972 --> 01:41:40.098 Fuck! -01:27:37.349 --> 01:27:40.512 +01:41:47.814 --> 01:41:50.977 Go get your guys! Get them to the chopper! -01:27:40.619 --> 01:27:42.712 +01:41:51.084 --> 01:41:53.177 I'll take care of these yahoos! -01:27:44.756 --> 01:27:47.020 +01:41:55.222 --> 01:41:57.486 You're gonna focus up now, motherfucker, and say it. -01:27:47.125 --> 01:27:49.252 -- "It's me, Tugg!" -- It's me, Tugg. +01:41:57.591 --> 01:41:59.718 +- "It's me, tugg!" +- It's me, tugg. -01:27:49.361 --> 01:27:50.828 -That's right! Now, Tugg who? +01:41:59.826 --> 01:42:01.293 +That's right! Now, tugg who? -01:27:50.929 --> 01:27:53.727 +01:42:01.394 --> 01:42:04.192 - Tugg who? I don't know. Who are you? - Me? -01:27:53.832 --> 01:27:55.527 +01:42:04.297 --> 01:42:05.992 I know who I am! -01:27:55.634 --> 01:27:59.365 +01:42:06.099 --> 01:42:09.830 I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude. -01:27:59.471 --> 01:28:00.529 +01:42:09.936 --> 01:42:10.994 What? -01:28:00.639 --> 01:28:02.732 +01:42:11.104 --> 01:42:13.197 You a dude that don't know what dude he is! -01:28:02.841 --> 01:28:05.537 +01:42:13.306 --> 01:42:16.002 Or are you a dude who has no idea what dude he is -01:28:05.644 --> 01:28:06.906 +01:42:16.109 --> 01:42:17.371 and claims to know what dude he is... -01:28:07.012 --> 01:28:08.747 +01:42:17.477 --> 01:42:19.240 What the fuck are you guys talking about? -01:28:08.880 --> 01:28:09.972 -...by playing other dudes? +01:42:19.346 --> 01:42:20.438 +By playing other dudes? -01:28:10.082 --> 01:28:11.276 +01:42:20.547 --> 01:42:21.741 I know what dude I am! -01:28:11.383 --> 01:28:14.181 +01:42:21.848 --> 01:42:24.646 - You're scared. - I ain't scared. Scared of what? -01:28:14.286 --> 01:28:15.548 +01:42:24.751 --> 01:42:26.013 Or scared of who? -01:28:15.654 --> 01:28:18.248 +01:42:26.119 --> 01:42:28.713 - Scared of who? - Come on, guys. We really need to go! -01:28:18.356 --> 01:28:19.618 +01:42:28.822 --> 01:42:30.084 Scared of you. -01:28:24.529 --> 01:28:26.861 +01:42:34.995 --> 01:42:37.327 - Jesus. - What's going on? -01:28:26.965 --> 01:28:28.489 +01:42:37.430 --> 01:42:38.954 The dudes are emerging. -01:28:28.600 --> 01:28:29.931 +01:42:39.065 --> 01:42:40.396 He's right, you know. -01:28:31.703 --> 01:28:33.102 +01:42:42.168 --> 01:42:43.567 I am not -01:28:34.673 --> 01:28:36.368 -Sergeant Lincoln Osiris. +01:42:45.138 --> 01:42:46.833 +sergeant Lincoln osiris. -01:28:40.779 --> 01:28:42.246 +01:42:51.244 --> 01:42:52.711 We gotta roll out. -01:28:42.347 --> 01:28:45.578 -Nor am I Father O'Malley. +01:42:52.812 --> 01:42:56.043 +Nor am I father O'Malley. -01:28:47.819 --> 01:28:50.754 +01:42:58.285 --> 01:43:01.220 Or Neil Armstrong. -01:28:58.330 --> 01:29:00.491 +01:43:08.795 --> 01:43:10.956 I think I might be nobody. -01:29:01.900 --> 01:29:03.060 +01:43:12.365 --> 01:43:13.525 Wow! -01:29:03.168 --> 01:29:05.830 +01:43:13.633 --> 01:43:16.295 The insecurity level with you guys is ridiculous! -01:29:07.105 --> 01:29:10.074 +01:43:17.571 --> 01:43:20.540 - Everybody's got issues! - Yeah, man, everybody got issues. -01:29:10.175 --> 01:29:12.735 -Come on! You're Kirk Lazarus. +01:43:20.640 --> 01:43:23.200 +Come on! You're kirk Lazarus. -01:29:12.844 --> 01:29:15.005 +01:43:23.310 --> 01:43:25.471 You're the whole reason I got into acting. -01:29:15.113 --> 01:29:16.944 +01:43:25.579 --> 01:43:27.410 I memorized every single monologue -01:29:17.048 --> 01:29:19.642 +01:43:27.514 --> 01:43:30.108 you ever did when I was in theater school. -01:29:19.751 --> 01:29:21.776 +01:43:30.216 --> 01:43:32.241 - Really? -- Yeah. And look, Tugg! +- Yeah. And look, tugg! -01:29:21.887 --> 01:29:24.321 -I saw Scorcher I +01:43:32.352 --> 01:43:34.786 +I saw scorcher I 24 times when I was in eighth grade. -01:29:24.422 --> 01:29:27.391 +01:43:34.888 --> 01:43:37.857 That shit blew me away! I got high to that shit! You the man! -01:29:27.492 --> 01:29:30.620 -Yeah, man, Scorcher I was great. +01:43:37.958 --> 01:43:41.086 +Yeah, man, scorcher I was great. Let's get the fuck out of here! -01:29:30.729 --> 01:29:34.859 -Tugg, Tugger, you're the last piece +01:43:41.194 --> 01:43:45.324 +Tugg, tugger, you're the last piece of the puzzle, buddy. -01:29:34.966 --> 01:29:37.958 +01:43:45.432 --> 01:43:48.424 We need you! Your men need you! Are you with us? -01:29:42.307 --> 01:29:44.298 +01:43:52.772 --> 01:43:54.763 I'm a rooster illusion. -01:29:44.409 --> 01:29:45.603 +01:43:54.874 --> 01:43:56.068 Fuck it. We'll deal with him later. -01:29:45.710 --> 01:29:48.873 +01:43:56.176 --> 01:43:59.339 Let's move. Come on. Come on. Double time. Gotta go! -01:29:51.416 --> 01:29:53.213 +01:44:01.881 --> 01:44:03.678 Come on, come on, come on. -01:29:56.988 --> 01:29:58.922 +01:44:07.454 --> 01:44:09.388 Bingo! Move out. -01:30:00.859 --> 01:30:02.224 +01:44:11.324 --> 01:44:12.689 Oh, God. -01:30:04.196 --> 01:30:07.063 +01:44:14.661 --> 01:44:17.528 Just say no to this, you drug-making midget. -01:30:11.636 --> 01:30:13.103 +01:44:22.102 --> 01:44:23.569 Gotta hold on! -01:30:19.277 --> 01:30:20.642 -Four Leaf! +01:44:29.743 --> 01:44:31.108 +Four leaf! -01:30:25.383 --> 01:30:26.714 +01:44:35.849 --> 01:44:37.180 You grew hands? -01:30:35.961 --> 01:30:37.485 -RPG, gentlemen! +01:44:46.426 --> 01:44:47.950 +Rpg, gentlemen! -01:30:40.265 --> 01:30:41.789 +01:44:50.730 --> 01:44:52.254 Where are you going? -01:30:47.305 --> 01:30:49.830 +01:44:57.771 --> 01:45:00.296 Oh, my God. I am moving to catering after this. -01:31:11.863 --> 01:31:13.194 +01:45:22.328 --> 01:45:23.659 My ass! -01:31:16.434 --> 01:31:17.765 +01:45:26.900 --> 01:45:28.231 My ass! -01:31:19.371 --> 01:31:22.636 +01:45:29.836 --> 01:45:33.101 Hey, yo! -We gotta get our shit together, Tugg! +We gotta get our shit together, tugg! -01:31:22.741 --> 01:31:24.971 +01:45:33.206 --> 01:45:35.436 We gotta get his cracker ass to the chopper! -01:31:25.076 --> 01:31:29.376 +01:45:35.542 --> 01:45:39.842 Are you still crazy? -We gotta get Candisky to the chopper! +We gotta get candisky to the chopper! -01:31:29.481 --> 01:31:30.948 -It's Sandusky. +01:45:39.946 --> 01:45:41.413 +It's sandusky. -01:31:32.817 --> 01:31:36.116 -- Kevin Sandusky. +01:45:43.283 --> 01:45:46.582 +- Kevin sandusky. - That's my name. -01:31:36.221 --> 01:31:37.813 +01:45:46.686 --> 01:45:48.278 You remembered my name. -01:31:37.923 --> 01:31:39.948 +01:45:48.388 --> 01:45:50.413 Alpa, go help Cody. -01:31:40.058 --> 01:31:42.049 -Portnoy, get Sandusky +01:45:50.523 --> 01:45:52.514 +Portnoy, get sandusky back to the chopper. Go! -01:31:42.160 --> 01:31:43.991 +01:45:52.625 --> 01:45:54.456 - I got him! - Let's go! -01:31:45.430 --> 01:31:46.954 +01:45:55.895 --> 01:45:57.419 Let's get out of here! -01:31:58.843 --> 01:32:00.333 -Hey, Leaf! +01:46:09.309 --> 01:46:10.799 +Hey, leaf! -01:32:00.445 --> 01:32:01.673 +01:46:10.910 --> 01:46:12.138 - Leaf! - Yeah. -01:32:01.780 --> 01:32:02.769 +01:46:12.245 --> 01:46:13.245 Hit the plunger -01:32:02.881 --> 01:32:04.075 +01:46:13.346 --> 01:46:15.106 - as soon as they clear the bridge! - Got it! -01:32:05.750 --> 01:32:08.184 +01:46:19.786 --> 01:46:22.220 Come on! Get in the chopper! -01:32:09.020 --> 01:32:11.818 +01:46:22.422 --> 01:46:25.220 - Come on! Move! - Kirk! Wait! -01:32:14.526 --> 01:32:17.620 -- What the hell is he doing? -- Laz, I'm gonna blow the bridge! +01:46:29.763 --> 01:46:31.390 +Laz, I'm gonna blow the bridge! -01:32:17.729 --> 01:32:18.923 +01:46:31.498 --> 01:46:33.295 +Are you the special effects guy? + +01:46:33.399 --> 01:46:35.526 +- You God damn right I am. +- Fuck yeah! + +01:46:35.935 --> 01:46:37.129 Leaf's about to blow the bridge. Come on! -01:32:19.030 --> 01:32:21.624 +01:46:37.237 --> 01:46:39.831 You don't have to! You don't have to! I'm staying. -01:32:21.733 --> 01:32:23.223 +01:46:39.939 --> 01:46:41.429 No, I can't let you do that, mate. We gotta go. -01:32:23.335 --> 01:32:25.860 +01:46:41.541 --> 01:46:44.066 No, I'm telling you, I'm not being crazy. They'll listen to me. -01:32:25.971 --> 01:32:28.804 +01:46:44.177 --> 01:46:46.668 I know it sounds weird, but I have a connection with them. -01:32:28.907 --> 01:32:32.741 +01:46:46.780 --> 01:46:49.660 +You're not doing tofu dinner theater +for these motherfuckers. Let's roll! + +01:46:49.682 --> 01:46:53.516 - Get over here! -- I have a son now. Little Half Squat. +- I have a son now. Little half squat. -01:32:32.844 --> 01:32:34.402 -Who in crikey fuck is Half Squat? +01:46:53.620 --> 01:46:55.178 +Who in crikey fuck is half squat? -01:32:34.512 --> 01:32:36.742 +01:46:55.288 --> 01:46:57.518 He's my son. He's my boy! -01:32:36.848 --> 01:32:39.282 +01:46:57.624 --> 01:47:00.058 He needs me. I have to go back to him. -01:32:42.420 --> 01:32:44.081 +01:47:03.196 --> 01:47:04.857 You tell the world what happened here. -01:32:44.189 --> 01:32:46.020 +01:47:04.964 --> 01:47:06.795 What happened here? -01:32:46.124 --> 01:32:48.354 +01:47:06.900 --> 01:47:09.130 I don't know, but you need to tell them. -01:32:50.729 --> 01:32:52.560 +01:47:11.504 --> 01:47:13.335 I got this. -01:32:52.664 --> 01:32:53.824 +01:47:13.439 --> 01:47:14.599 Tugg! -01:32:54.532 --> 01:32:58.093 +01:47:15.308 --> 01:47:18.869 You take care of the boys! I'll deal with these guys. -01:32:59.504 --> 01:33:03.099 +01:47:20.280 --> 01:47:23.875 Where is he going? We're gonna fucking die! -01:33:03.208 --> 01:33:05.836 +01:47:23.983 --> 01:47:26.611 Laz, come on. He joined the circus. Let's go. -01:33:05.944 --> 01:33:07.138 +01:47:26.719 --> 01:47:27.913 - You've got hands. - Yeah. -01:33:07.245 --> 01:33:09.372 +01:47:28.021 --> 01:47:30.148 - Fuck! You've got hands? - Come on! -01:33:10.448 --> 01:33:11.574 +01:47:31.224 --> 01:47:32.350 - Come on! - Get in! -01:33:11.683 --> 01:33:13.310 +01:47:32.458 --> 01:47:34.085 - Come on! - He's staying? -01:33:13.418 --> 01:33:15.682 +01:47:34.194 --> 01:47:36.458 Go! He's a lost cause, mate! Get out of here! -01:33:20.258 --> 01:33:24.752 +01:47:41.034 --> 01:47:45.528 I was wrong! Blow the bridge! Blow the fucking bridge! -01:33:30.602 --> 01:33:32.001 +01:47:51.377 --> 01:47:52.776 I got this. -01:33:32.670 --> 01:33:34.103 +01:47:53.446 --> 01:47:54.879 Leaf, no! -01:34:18.249 --> 01:34:20.877 +01:48:39.025 --> 01:48:41.653 It's over! He's gone! -01:34:20.985 --> 01:34:23.044 +01:48:41.761 --> 01:48:43.820 Cody! We gotta go! -01:34:25.056 --> 01:34:26.250 +01:48:45.832 --> 01:48:47.026 Look. -01:34:48.880 --> 01:34:50.211 +01:49:09.656 --> 01:49:10.987 Think he's done. -01:34:50.315 --> 01:34:51.543 +01:49:11.090 --> 01:49:12.318 Cover me! -01:34:52.617 --> 01:34:55.552 +01:49:13.393 --> 01:49:16.328 - Come on! - Wait, come back! -01:34:55.653 --> 01:34:57.382 +01:49:16.429 --> 01:49:18.158 How do we cover him? -01:35:01.626 --> 01:35:04.963 +01:49:22.402 --> 01:49:25.803 All right, game over. Come on, mate. Come on. -01:35:05.130 --> 01:35:07.724 +01:49:25.905 --> 01:49:28.499 - You all right, man? - I'm cold. -01:35:07.832 --> 01:35:09.823 +01:49:28.608 --> 01:49:30.599 I can't feel my legs. -01:35:09.934 --> 01:35:12.869 +01:49:30.710 --> 01:49:33.645 No, no, they're in a puddle, mate. See? There's a puddle right there. -01:35:12.971 --> 01:35:14.165 +01:49:33.746 --> 01:49:34.940 - No worries. - Good. -01:35:14.272 --> 01:35:15.569 +01:49:35.048 --> 01:49:36.345 Come on, we gotta split, man. -01:35:15.673 --> 01:35:17.971 +01:49:36.449 --> 01:49:38.747 - You guys came back for me. - Course. -01:35:18.076 --> 01:35:20.408 +01:49:38.851 --> 01:49:41.183 Hey! I want you to know something. -01:35:20.512 --> 01:35:21.706 +01:49:41.287 --> 01:49:42.481 What? -01:35:22.881 --> 01:35:24.678 +01:49:43.656 --> 01:49:45.453 I know who you are. -01:35:26.784 --> 01:35:28.547 +01:49:47.560 --> 01:49:49.323 You're my friend. -01:35:30.822 --> 01:35:32.449 +01:49:51.597 --> 01:49:53.224 You're my brother. -01:35:33.324 --> 01:35:36.157 +01:49:54.100 --> 01:49:56.933 But like a really cool brother, you know? -01:35:36.261 --> 01:35:37.626 +01:49:57.036 --> 01:49:58.401 Like a brother where there was no animosity or... -01:35:37.729 --> 01:35:40.562 +01:49:58.504 --> 01:50:01.337 Don't look now, you got some real tears going. -01:35:40.665 --> 01:35:41.654 +01:50:01.441 --> 01:50:02.441 Really? -01:35:41.766 --> 01:35:43.256 +01:50:02.542 --> 01:50:04.032 That's the stuff that accolades are made of. -01:35:43.368 --> 01:35:44.835 +01:50:04.143 --> 01:50:05.610 Jesus, let's go, man! -01:35:44.936 --> 01:35:46.403 +01:50:05.712 --> 01:50:07.813 All right? -01:35:47.972 --> 01:35:49.405 -Upsy-daisy. +01:50:08.748 --> 01:50:10.181 +Upsy-Daisy. -01:35:51.176 --> 01:35:54.168 +01:50:11.951 --> 01:50:14.943 Come on! Come on! Come on! Let's go! Let's go! -01:35:56.314 --> 01:35:57.611 +01:50:17.090 --> 01:50:18.387 Get in! Get in! -01:35:57.715 --> 01:35:59.740 +01:50:18.491 --> 01:50:20.516 Come on! Here we go! -01:36:02.287 --> 01:36:05.085 +01:50:23.062 --> 01:50:25.860 Tuggernuts! I got it! -01:36:07.458 --> 01:36:09.756 +01:50:28.234 --> 01:50:30.532 - Tugger! - Rick! -01:36:12.363 --> 01:36:13.591 +01:50:33.139 --> 01:50:34.367 What the fuck? -01:36:13.698 --> 01:36:15.325 +01:50:34.474 --> 01:50:36.101 I got the TiVo! -01:36:16.234 --> 01:36:20.637 +01:50:37.010 --> 01:50:41.413 My friend wants a TiVo, my friend gets a TiVo! -01:36:25.810 --> 01:36:27.072 +01:50:46.586 --> 01:50:47.848 Oh, shit! -01:37:03.915 --> 01:37:05.940 +01:51:24.690 --> 01:51:26.715 And the Oscar goes to... -01:37:08.686 --> 01:37:10.984 -Yes! Tugg Speedman. +01:51:29.462 --> 01:51:31.760 +Yes! Tugg speedman. -01:37:12.624 --> 01:37:15.320 -"Tropic Blunder, -The True Story Behind the Making +01:51:33.399 --> 01:51:36.095 +"Tropic blunder, +the true story behind the making -01:37:15.426 --> 01:37:17.951 -"of the Most Expensive -Fake True War Story Ever." +01:51:36.202 --> 01:51:38.727 +"of the most expensive +fake true war story ever." -01:37:19.530 --> 01:37:20.656 +01:51:40.306 --> 01:51:41.432 Yeah! -01:37:25.370 --> 01:37:27.270 +01:51:46.145 --> 01:51:48.045 Yeah, you son of a bitch! -01:37:46.591 --> 01:37:50.960 -Eight Oscars, $400 million +01:52:07.366 --> 01:52:11.735 +Eight oscars, $400 million -01:37:51.062 --> 01:37:54.293 +01:52:11.838 --> 01:52:15.069 and you saved -Tugg Speedman's career. +tugg speedman's career. -01:37:54.399 --> 01:37:57.266 +01:52:15.174 --> 01:52:18.041 I couldn't have done it -without you, Slolom. +without you, slolom. -01:37:59.304 --> 01:38:00.396 +01:52:20.079 --> 01:52:21.171 Really? -01:38:00.505 --> 01:38:02.496 +01:52:21.280 --> 01:52:23.271 No, dickhead, of course I could. -01:38:02.607 --> 01:38:05.269 +01:52:23.382 --> 01:52:26.044 - A nutless monkey could do your job. - Well, I... -01:38:05.376 --> 01:38:08.277 +01:52:26.152 --> 01:52:29.053 Now, go get drunk and take credit at all the parties. -01:38:08.379 --> 01:38:11.075 +01:52:29.155 --> 01:52:31.851 - I would never do that to... - Joking. -01:38:11.182 --> 01:38:12.547 +01:52:31.958 --> 01:52:33.323 - Yeah? - Yeah. -01:38:12.650 --> 01:38:14.845 -Very... Okay, there he is. +01:52:33.426 --> 01:52:35.621 +Very... okay, there he is. -01:38:14.952 --> 01:38:16.442 +01:52:35.728 --> 01:52:37.218 - There he is. Okay. - Go have fun. -01:38:16.554 --> 01:38:18.078 +01:52:37.330 --> 01:52:38.854 All right. We're having a... -01:38:18.189 --> 01:38:20.589 -Fuck, okay. Thank you, Les. +01:52:38.965 --> 01:52:41.445 +Fuck, okay. Thank you, les. Thank you. You have a good night... -01:38:20.692 --> 01:38:23.092 +01:52:41.467 --> 01:52:43.867 But seriously, a nutless monkey could do your job. -01:38:23.194 --> 01:38:24.923 +01:52:43.970 --> 01:52:45.699 Good. Thank you, sir.