diff --git a/sql/20220702-poll-rework.sql b/sql/20220702-poll-rework.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index fb7524cd0..000000000
--- a/sql/20220702-poll-rework.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,109 +0,0 @@
-CREATE TABLE public.submission_options (
-	id integer PRIMARY KEY,
-    submission_id integer NOT NULL,
-    body_html character varying(500) NOT NULL,
-	exclusive boolean NOT NULL
-);
-
-CREATE INDEX option_submission ON public.submission_options USING btree (submission_id);
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.submission_options
-    ADD CONSTRAINT option_submission_fkey FOREIGN KEY (submission_id) REFERENCES public.submissions(id) MATCH FULL;
-
-
-
-CREATE SEQUENCE public.submission_option_id_seq
-    AS integer
-    START WITH 1
-    INCREMENT BY 1
-    NO MINVALUE
-    NO MAXVALUE
-    CACHE 1;
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.submission_options ALTER COLUMN id SET DEFAULT nextval('public.submission_option_id_seq'::regclass);
-
-
-
-CREATE TABLE public.submission_option_votes (
-	option_id integer NOT NULL,
-    user_id integer NOT NULL,
-    created_utc integer NOT NULL,
-    submission_id integer
-);
-
-
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.submission_option_votes
-    ADD CONSTRAINT submission_option_votes_pkey PRIMARY KEY (option_id, user_id);
-
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.submission_option_votes
-    ADD CONSTRAINT vote_option_fkey FOREIGN KEY (option_id) REFERENCES public.submission_options(id) MATCH FULL;
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.submission_option_votes
-    ADD CONSTRAINT vote_user_fkey FOREIGN KEY (user_id) REFERENCES public.users(id) MATCH FULL;
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.submission_option_votes
-    ADD CONSTRAINT vote_submission_fkey FOREIGN KEY (submission_id) REFERENCES public.submissions(id) MATCH FULL;
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-CREATE TABLE public.comment_options (
-	id integer PRIMARY KEY,
-    comment_id integer NOT NULL,
-    body_html character varying(500) NOT NULL,
-	exclusive boolean NOT NULL
-);
-
-CREATE INDEX option_comment ON public.comment_options USING btree (comment_id);
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.comment_options
-    ADD CONSTRAINT option_comment_fkey FOREIGN KEY (comment_id) REFERENCES public.comments(id) MATCH FULL;
-
-
-
-CREATE SEQUENCE public.comment_option_id_seq
-    AS integer
-    START WITH 1
-    INCREMENT BY 1
-    NO MINVALUE
-    NO MAXVALUE
-    CACHE 1;
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.comment_options ALTER COLUMN id SET DEFAULT nextval('public.comment_option_id_seq'::regclass);
-
-
-
-CREATE TABLE public.comment_option_votes (
-	option_id integer NOT NULL,
-    user_id integer NOT NULL,
-    created_utc integer NOT NULL,
-    comment_id integer
-);
-
-
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.comment_option_votes
-    ADD CONSTRAINT comment_option_votes_pkey PRIMARY KEY (option_id, user_id);
-
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.comment_option_votes
-    ADD CONSTRAINT vote_option_fkey FOREIGN KEY (option_id) REFERENCES public.comment_options(id) MATCH FULL;
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.comment_option_votes
-    ADD CONSTRAINT vote_user_fkey FOREIGN KEY (user_id) REFERENCES public.users(id) MATCH FULL;
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.comment_option_votes
-    ADD CONSTRAINT vote_comment_fkey FOREIGN KEY (comment_id) REFERENCES public.comments(id) MATCH FULL;
diff --git a/sql/20220708-notification-rework.sql b/sql/20220708-notification-rework.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index e03129c58..000000000
--- a/sql/20220708-notification-rework.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,2 +0,0 @@
-alter table users add column last_viewed_post_notifs int not null default 0;
-alter table users alter column last_viewed_post_notifs drop default;
diff --git a/sql/20220711-pronouns.sql b/sql/20220711-pronouns.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index 22d3d68f5..000000000
--- a/sql/20220711-pronouns.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,2 +0,0 @@
-alter table users add column pronouns varchar(11) not null default 'they/them';
-alter table users alter column pronouns drop default;
diff --git a/sql/20220805-modaction-notifs-rework.sql b/sql/20220805-modaction-notifs-rework.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index d9998ecb6..000000000
--- a/sql/20220805-modaction-notifs-rework.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,2 +0,0 @@
-alter table users add column last_viewed_log_notifs int not null default 0;
-alter table users alter column last_viewed_log_notifs drop default;
diff --git a/sql/20220831-casino-feature.sql b/sql/20220831-casino-feature.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index f3dfd87cd..000000000
--- a/sql/20220831-casino-feature.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,15 +0,0 @@
-CREATE TYPE casino_game_kind AS ENUM ('blackjack', 'slots');
-
-CREATE TYPE casino_game_currency AS ENUM ('coins', 'procoins');
-
-CREATE TABLE casino_games (
-    id SERIAL PRIMARY KEY,
-    user_id integer NOT NULL REFERENCES users(id),
-    created_utc integer NOT NULL,
-    active boolean NOT NULL DEFAULT true,
-    currency casino_game_currency NOT NULL,
-    wager integer NOT NULL,
-    winnings integer NOT NULL,
-    kind casino_game_kind NOT NULL,
-    game_state jsonb NOT NULL
-);
diff --git a/sql/20220903-hats.sql b/sql/20220903-hats.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index 895305f6f..000000000
--- a/sql/20220903-hats.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,249 +0,0 @@
-CREATE TABLE public.hat_defs (
-    id integer PRIMARY KEY,
-    name character varying(50) NOT NULL UNIQUE,
-    description character varying(300) NOT NULL,
-    author_id integer NOT NULL,
-    price integer NOT NULL
-);
-
-CREATE SEQUENCE public.hat_defs_id_seq
-    AS integer
-    START WITH 1
-    INCREMENT BY 1
-    NO MINVALUE
-    NO MAXVALUE
-    CACHE 1;
-
-ALTER SEQUENCE public.hat_defs_id_seq OWNED BY public.hat_defs.id;
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.hat_defs ALTER COLUMN id SET DEFAULT nextval('public.hat_defs_id_seq'::regclass);
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.hat_defs
-    ADD CONSTRAINT hat_defs_author_id_fkey FOREIGN KEY (author_id) REFERENCES public.users(id);
-
-
-
-
-
-CREATE TABLE public.hats (
-    hat_id integer NOT NULL,
-    user_id integer NOT NULL
-);
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.hats
-    ADD CONSTRAINT hats_pkey PRIMARY KEY (user_id, hat_id);
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.hats
-    ADD CONSTRAINT hats_hat_id_fkey FOREIGN KEY (hat_id) REFERENCES public.hat_defs(id);
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.hats
-    ADD CONSTRAINT hats_user_id_fkey FOREIGN KEY (user_id) REFERENCES public.users(id);
-
-alter table users add column coins_spent_on_hats integer DEFAULT 0 NOT NULL;
-alter table users add column equipped_hat_id integer;
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.users
-    ADD CONSTRAINT users_equipped_hat_id_fkey FOREIGN KEY (equipped_hat_id) REFERENCES public.hat_defs(id);
-
-insert into hat_defs (name, description, author_id, price) values
-('Ushanka', 'The People''s Hat', 2, 500), 
-('Fur Hat', 'The first step on your path to fursuit ownership', 2, 500), 
-('Cat Ears I', 'Mew :3', 2, 500),
-('Cat Ears II', 'Meow :3', 2, 500),
-('Playboy Bunny', 'Will this bring daddy back?', 2, 500),
-('Macaroni', 'Get it? Like the song lol', 2, 500),
-('Pirate', 'BUTT pirate', 2, 500),
-('Pirate Captain', 'Like a regular butt pirate, but for tops only', 2, 500),
-('Dreads', 'Finally, an excuse for poor hygiene', 2, 500),
-('The XXXTentacion', 'Pay homage to your favorite dead criminal!', 2, 500),
-('the 6ix9ine', 'The finest piece of snitch couture on the market', 2, 500),
-('The Elvis', 'Remember when this dude nailed a 13-year-old?', 2, 500),
-('Gussy Hat', 'Let everyone know that you''re NOT a rapist. Honest.', 2, 500),
-('Riveter', 'Can you do it? Really?', 2, 500),
-('Top Hat (leprechaun)', 'LLM but Irish', 2, 500),
-('Drinky Beer Hat', 'I actually didn''t know these were real things until I made this', 2, 500),
-('Viking', 'Rape, pillage, never bathe. Live the dream.', 2, 500),
-('Nonspecific Military Officer Hat', '[removed]', 2, 500),
-('Soviet Officer I', 'OUR hat', 2, 500),
-('Nonspecific Military Officer Hat II', '[removed]', 2, 500),
-('Soviet Officer II', 'High fashion war criminal chic', 2, 500),
-('Southern Gentleman', 'Slaveowner? Fried chicken chain founder? You decide!', 2, 500),
-('Cowboy I', 'Make him wish he could quit you', 2, 500),
-('Cowboy II', 'You''re my favorite deputy!', 2, 500),
-('Halo', 'Dramamine criticized this one and now I''m too self-conscious about it to write a description', 2, 500),
-('Fedora I', 'M''arsey', 2, 500),
-('Bowler', 'Why would you need a hat to go bowling?', 2, 500),
-('Du Rag (black)', 'Shitty bandana 1/6', 2, 500),
-('Du Rag (red)', 'Shitty bandana 2/6', 2, 500),
-('Du Rag (blue)', 'Shitty bandana 3/6', 2, 500),
-('Du Rag (purple)', 'Shitty bandana 4/6', 2, 500),
-('Du Rag (green)', 'Shitty bandana 5/6', 2, 500),
-('Du Rag (yellow)', 'Shitty bandana 6/6', 2, 500),
-('Ash Ketchum', 'You''re not so different, you and he', 2, 500),
-('The Hotep', 'Traditional kangwear. POC ONLY.', 2, 500),
-('Roman', 'Reddit delenda est', 2, 500),
-('Confederate Soldier Cap', 'Basically the Gryffindor of American history', 2, 500),
-('Northern Aggressor Soldier Cap', 'Slytherin irl', 2, 500),
-('Rhodesian Light Infantry Beret', 'Rhodesians never die. Immortality guaranteed!', 2, 500),
-('Magyar Headdress', 'Channel your inner QuadNarca and join Orban''s elite cavalry', 2, 500),
-('The Senator Warren', 'heya heya heya heya heya heya heya heya heya heya heya', 2, 500),
-('Please Be Patient I Have Autism', 'The OFFICIAL hat of rDrama.net', 2, 500),
-('Samurai Helmet', 'Never be mistaken for a baka gaijin again', 2, 500),
-('Watermelmet', 'Hydration and head protection all rolled into one stylish headpiece', 2, 500),
-('Frankenstein', 'Akshually, Frankenstein was the scientist. The monster didn''t have a name.', 2, 500),
-('The Drumpf', 'Orange hair bad', 2, 500),
-('Tinfoil Hat', 'Keep Bill Gates'' 5G vaccine OUT of your precious brain!', 2, 500),
-('Fez', 'Isn''t it CUTE?', 2, 500),
-('Ching Chong', 'Me Chinese Me No Dumb Me Stick Finger In Daddy''s Bum', 2, 500),
-('Octopus Friend', 'Awwwwwww!', 2, 500),
-('In The Navy', 'It''s not gay', 2, 500),
-('Seaman', 'semen lol', 2, 500),
-('Flower Crown I', 'oh god i have to write descriptions for 15 flower crowns', 2, 500),
-('Flower Crown II', 'A very cute flower crown', 2, 500),
-('Flower Crown III', 'A super cute flower crown', 2, 500),
-('Flower Crown IV', 'A really cute flower crown', 2, 500),
-('Flower Crown V', 'The cutest flower crown?', 2, 500),
-('Flower Crown VI', 'An extremely cute flower crown', 2, 500),
-('Flower Crown VII', 'A flower crown that''s just so cute', 2, 500),
-('Flower Crown VIII', 'A majorly cute flower crown', 2, 500),
-('Flower Crown IX', 'A mega cute flower crown', 2, 500),
-('Flower Crown X', 'An ultra cute flower crown', 2, 500),
-('Flower Crown XI', 'Definitely the cutest flower crown', 2, 500),
-('Flower Crown XII', 'A hella cute flower crown', 2, 500),
-('Flower Crown XIII', 'An experimental anti-gravity cute flower crown', 2, 500),
-('Flower Crown XIV', 'An adorably cute flower crown', 2, 500),
-('Flower Crown XV', 'The final cute flower crown', 2, 500),
-('Bow', 'What a cute little bow omg', 2, 500),
-('BIPOCsmoke', 'It''s a Newport. You know it''s a Newport.', 2, 500),
-('Gigachin', 'Aw yeah, this user definitely supports trans rights', 2, 500),
-('Queensguard', 'A bear died for this', 2, 500),
-('Queen Crown', 'Don''t be a drag', 2, 500),
-('King Crown', 'King is like the n word, only racists and black people should be allowed to say it', 2, 500),
-('Pope Hat', 'Matthew 16:18', 2, 500),
-('Heebhead', 'Do NOT google the Lavon Affair', 2, 500),
-('Zoomie Zoom Zoom', 'Underage user, do not interact', 2, 500),
-('Sombrero I', 'El Autistico', 2, 500),
-('Sombrero II', 'El Autistico Grandisimo', 2, 500),
-('Crypto Billionaire', 'Sorry about the ice cream machine', 2, 500),
-('Burger King Crown', 'I''m gonna say it', 2, 500),
-('Burger King', 'You can have it your way and you still chose this', 2, 500),
-('Wendys', 'Sassy social media intern', 2, 500),
-('KFC', 'Popeyes is too far away', 2, 500),
-('In-N-Out', 'Kill the commiefornian', 2, 500),
-('Carls Jr', 'Purveyor of literally the finest food in the world', 2, 500),
-('Whataburger', 'Texans don''t know any better', 2, 500),
-('Five Guys', 'I love having 5 guys in my mouth', 2, 500),
-('Taco Bell', 'Enabler of drunken mistakes', 2, 500),
-('Marsey-In-A-Box', 'Awww you''re playing make-believe!', 2, 500),
-('Orthodox Hood', 'User is a schismatic lunatic', 2, 500),
-('Afro', 'Pool''s closed motherlover', 2, 500),
-('Top Hat (black)', 'Traditional. Classy. Elegant.', 2, 500),
-('Wizard I', 'Three decades a KHHV', 2, 500),
-('Wizard II', 'Avada kedavra ✨', 2, 500),
-('Witch I', 'Hex the patriarchy', 2, 500),
-('Witch II', 'Bardfinn cosplay gear', 2, 500),
-('Sun Hat', 'Tradwife simplicity', 2, 500),
-('Obey Snapback', 'The timeless classic', 2, 500),
-('Thug Life Snapback', 'User confirmed mayo', 2, 500),
-('Supreme Snapback', 'Drip so hard omg', 2, 500),
-('Make America Great Again', 'The official headgear of stochastic terrorists everywhere', 2, 500),
-('Born To Feel', 'Do you pee standing up?', 2, 500),
-('Fortunate Son', 'BORN TO SHIT FORCED TO WIPE', 2, 500),
-('WWI', 'How is this supposed to offer any meaningful protection??', 2, 500),
-('Pickelhaube', 'Inarguably the most fashionable of all contemporary military headgear ', 2, 500),
-('Wehrmacht', 'What a cool helmet, I bet the people who wore it were real classy folks ', 2, 500),
-('Chair Force', 'Yeah I''m a combat veteran, I''ve seen shit you wouldn''t believe. One time the wifi was out for almost an hour. ', 2, 500),
-('Helmet w Dog Tags', 'More like dog fags lol', 2, 500),
-('Urban Camo Helmet', 'Man urban camo is cool', 2, 500),
-('Nightvision Helmet', 'Four-eyed freak', 2, 500),
-('Helmet w Mesh', 'Sexy fishnet stocking helmet', 2, 500),
-('Tojo Helmet', 'Artifact from Weeb War II', 2, 500),
-('Officers Cap', 'Get fragged bozo', 2, 500),
-('Jailbird Cap', 'The apex of prison fashion. Why did we stop using this?', 2, 500),
-('P-Hat (green)', 'Zezima fanboy', 2, 500),
-('P-Hat (red)', 'おれはPigAmericanですおれはばか i am average american man i enjoy bad game runescape', 2, 500),
-('P-Hat (yellow)', 'PISS HAT PISS HAT', 2, 500),
-('P-Hat (blue)', 'Ughhhh coming up with different descriptions for RuneScape party hats', 2, 500),
-('P-Hat (pink)', 'It''s pink.', 2, 500),
-('P-Hat (rainbow)', 'LGBTscape 😍', 2, 500),
-('Newsboy', 'Or newsgirl. It''s okay, the hat is actually gender-neutral.', 2, 500),
-('Whirly Tard Hat I', 'Wouldn''t it be neat if they could make one that like uses body heat or whatever to keep the propeller in a state of constant motion', 2, 500),
-('Dunce Cap', 'You retard. Imbecile. Utter buffoon. Oaf. Nincompoop. Idiot. Moron. CLOWN.', 2, 500),
-('Beret', 'Literally the most basic possible hat choice. Please do better. ', 2, 500),
-('Mario', 'BING BING WAHOO ', 2, 500),
-('Luigi', 'LING LING LAHOO', 2, 500),
-('Wing Cap', 'If the hat''s wings are what provide the thrust necessary for flight then how does it stay on and let YOU fly with it huh', 2, 500),
-('Metal Mario', 'Mario hat but with yelling and lots of double bass and distorted guitars and shit heck yeah', 2, 500),
-('Cappy', 'A sentient hat-creature that''s actually a pretty horrifying parasite if you think about it', 2, 500),
-('Wario', 'For the fat, yellow, extremely flatulent dramautist (in loving memory of Bidpots)', 2, 500),
-('Waluigi', 'Coming soon to Smash for sure', 2, 500),
-('Top Hat (kek)', 'Technically a top hat, shut up', 2, 500),
-('Top Hat (white)', 'Oh, how dignified', 2, 500),
-('Top Hat (striped)', 'Tim Burton''s take on the top hat', 2, 500),
-('Top Hat (checkered)', 'Actually chessed, but that''s not really a word.', 2, 500),
-('Top Hat (march hare)', 'April hare, May hare, June hare, July hare,', 2, 500),
-('Top Hat (mad hatter)', 'Hatters mad [x24]', 2, 500),
-('Top Hat (red)', 'Top hat, menstrual edition', 2, 500),
-('Top Hat (uncle sam)', 'THIS HAT WAS FACT-CHECKED BY TRUE AMERICAN PATRIOTS', 2, 500),
-('Fireperson I', 'In loving memory of r/HateForFirefighters', 2, 500),
-('Constable', 'Useless bong cop nonsense', 2, 500),
-('NYPD Officer', 'This user is authorized to stop, frisk and cavity search you at any time for any reason', 2, 500),
-('Crossing Guard', 'We love Officer Marsey!', 2, 500),
-('Paper Sailor', 'As idle as a paper ship, upon a paper ocean. Paper, paper, everywhere.', 2, 500),
-('FBI', 'Federal Bussy Inspector', 2, 500),
-('CIA', 'Cisgender Incineration Agency', 2, 500),
-('ATF', 'Ass-Tickling Faggot. HIDE YOUR DOG!', 2, 500),
-('Graduate', 'This hat signifies that the bearer has completed four (4) years of pan-african gender studies coursework', 2, 500),
-('Nurse', 'Minor TikTok celebrity, OnlyFans top 91%', 2, 500),
-('Farmer', 'Feed & Seed shopper', 2, 500),
-('Farmette', 'Feed & Seed shoppette', 2, 500),
-('Kung Lao', 'Why did I make a Kung Lao hat', 2, 500),
-('Top Hat (steampunk)', 'Like a regular top hat but with goggles and gears', 2, 500),
-('Brain Hat', 'Peter Griffin''s dog', 2, 500),
-('The TED_SIMP', 'Wear this hat to express your undying adoration for carp', 2, 500),
-('The Brandon', 'Listen here fat', 2, 500),
-('The Brandon II', 'LISTEN HERE FAT', 2, 500),
-('The King George', 'Proto-drag if you think about it', 2, 500),
-('The Mao', 'Our hair!', 2, 500),
-('The Young Stalin', 'Pockmarks not included', 2, 500),
-('The Ripe Stalin', 'An homage to the #1 most prolific killer of commies in world history', 2, 500),
-('The Austrian Painter', 'For aficionados of mid-20th century fine artists slash authors', 2, 500),
-('Kenny I', 'User''s life insurance claim was rejected', 2, 500),
-('Modern Major General', 'For my military knowledge, though I''m plucky and adventury / Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century / But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral / I am the very model of a modern Major-General', 2, 500),
-('Red Star Cap', 'Cannon fodder', 2, 500),
-('Cartman', 'Fat antisemite - the archetypal rDrama user', 2, 500),
-('Cheesehead', 'For fans of the Green Gay Fudge Packers', 2, 500),
-('Kyle', 'ngl I don''t watch South Park so idk the difference between this and Stan', 2, 500),
-('Stan', 'ngl I don''t watch South Park so idk the difference between this and Kyle', 2, 500),
-('Kenny II', 'Like Kenny I except it shows more of your ugly face', 2, 500),
-('The Cleopatra', 'Did you know she was actually white?', 2, 500),
-('Pimp Hat I', 'Women are objects', 2, 500),
-('Devil Horns', 'Satan is so cool and quirky!!!', 2, 500),
-('Nooticer', 'THIS USER IS ENGAGED IN THOUGHTCRIME. DO NOT INTERACT.', 2, 500),
-('Airpods', 'oh god oh fuck he cant hear us', 2, 500),
-('Maskmaxxer', 'Why aren''t there two? Are you trying to kill us?', 2, 500),
-('The Tupac', 'dead nigger storage', 2, 500),
-('Media Executive', 'despite making up just 2% of the population,', 2, 500),
-('Surgeon', 'Lobotomize me daddy', 2, 500),
-('Mouseketeer', 'please don''t sue please don''t sue please don''t sue please don''t sue please don''t sue', 2, 500),
-('Karen', 'Let me speak to your manager', 2, 500),
-('Badass Fighter Ace', ' Top Gun™ Maverick® Now Showing In Theaters!', 2, 500),
-('Taqiyah', 'It''s not a yarmulke I swear', 2, 500),
-('Cock', 'DM me yours!', 2, 500),
-('Nervous, Sweating', '>mfw', 2, 500),
-('The Cat', 'does this really need a description', 2, 500),
-('Noose', 'Cope or rope', 2, 500),
-('The Penny', 'This shower cap bonnet is perfect for hiding nappy, alopecia-ridden hair', 2, 500),
-('Hard Hat (yellow)', 'A rock hard, throbbing, veiny hat. Check out the girth on this thing', 2, 500),
-('Hard Hat (white)', 'The mayo variant of the hard hat, used to signify someone of importance, or a visitor, at a job site', 2, 500),
-('Beret (TF2)', 'Stylish vidya-variant of the beret', 2, 500),
-('Texas Ten Gallon', 'Yeehaw!', 2, 500),
-('Demoman', 'KaBOOM', 2, 500),
-('Fireperson II', 'For extinguishing hot threads', 2, 500),
-('Miners Hat', 'Please don''t touch minors', 2, 500),
-('Old Man Hat', 'AKA the Wizdumb', 2, 500),
-('Pimp Hat II', 'Women are people and they deserve respect just kidding they should suck my penis', 2, 500),
-('Whirly Tard Hat II', 'Propeller go brrrrrrrrrr', 2, 500),
-('Family Man Free Hat', 'It''s a good show!', 2, 500),
-('Engineer', 'Choo choo!', 2, 500),
-('Vexillaurius Helmet', 'Degenerates like you belong on rDrama', 2, 500),
-('Astronaut Helmet', 'See you, space marsey', 2, 500);
diff --git a/sql/20220909-marsey-submissin-ui.sql b/sql/20220909-marsey-submissin-ui.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index 7321779aa..000000000
--- a/sql/20220909-marsey-submissin-ui.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,6 +0,0 @@
-alter table marseys add column submitter_id int;
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.marseys
-    ADD CONSTRAINT marsey_submitter_fkey FOREIGN KEY (submitter_id) REFERENCES public.users(id);
-
-CREATE INDEX marseys_idx4 ON public.marseys USING btree (submitter_id);
diff --git a/sql/20220910-hat-submissin-ui.sql b/sql/20220910-hat-submissin-ui.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index 6d6507924..000000000
--- a/sql/20220910-hat-submissin-ui.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,6 +0,0 @@
-alter table hat_defs add column submitter_id int;
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.hat_defs
-    ADD CONSTRAINT hat_def_submitter_fkey FOREIGN KEY (submitter_id) REFERENCES public.users(id);
-
-CREATE INDEX hat_defs_submitter_id_idx ON public.hat_defs USING btree (submitter_id);
diff --git a/sql/20220910-notify-followers.sql b/sql/20220910-notify-followers.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index 908a72169..000000000
--- a/sql/20220910-notify-followers.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,2 +0,0 @@
-alter table submissions add column notify bool not null default true;
-alter table submissions alter column notify drop default;
diff --git a/sql/20220911-add-roulette.sql b/sql/20220911-add-roulette.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index a7f49f11c..000000000
--- a/sql/20220911-add-roulette.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1 +0,0 @@
-ALTER TYPE casino_game_kind ADD VALUE 'roulette';
diff --git a/sql/20220912-created_utc-columns.sql b/sql/20220912-created_utc-columns.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index 62f51f4cb..000000000
--- a/sql/20220912-created_utc-columns.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,22 +0,0 @@
-alter table alts add column created_utc int;
-alter table award_relationships add column created_utc int;
-alter table badge_defs add column created_utc int;
-alter table oauth_apps add column created_utc int;
-alter table client_auths add column created_utc int;
-alter table banneddomains add column created_utc int;
-alter table exiles add column created_utc int;
-alter table hat_defs add column created_utc int;
-alter table hats add column created_utc int;
-alter table lotteries add column created_utc int;
-alter table marseys add column created_utc int;
-alter table submission_options add column created_utc int;
-alter table comment_options add column created_utc int;
-alter table save_relationship add column created_utc int;
-alter table comment_save_relationship add column created_utc int;
-alter table sub_blocks add column created_utc int;
-alter table sub_joins add column created_utc int;
-alter table sub_subscriptions add column created_utc int;
-alter table subs add column created_utc int;
-alter table subscriptions add column created_utc int;
-alter table userblocks add column created_utc int;
-alter table viewers add column created_utc int;
diff --git a/sql/20220913-transactions.sql b/sql/20220913-transactions.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index 927e99144..000000000
--- a/sql/20220913-transactions.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,9 +0,0 @@
-CREATE TABLE public.transactions (
-    id character varying(36) PRIMARY KEY,
-    created_utc integer NOT NULL,
-    type character varying(12) NOT NULL,
-    amount integer NOT NULL,
-    email character varying(255) NOT NULL
-);
-
-CREATE INDEX transactions_email_idx ON public.transactions USING btree (email);
diff --git a/sql/20220916-remove-winnings-column.sql b/sql/20220916-remove-winnings-column.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index 1b9e75110..000000000
--- a/sql/20220916-remove-winnings-column.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1 +0,0 @@
-alter table users drop column winnings;
diff --git a/sql/20220920-spider-award.sql b/sql/20220920-spider-award.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index b4fd56bbc..000000000
--- a/sql/20220920-spider-award.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1 +0,0 @@
-alter table users add column spider int;
diff --git a/sql/20220929-hole-logs.sql b/sql/20220929-hole-logs.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index e58762bd0..000000000
--- a/sql/20220929-hole-logs.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,43 +0,0 @@
-CREATE TABLE public.subactions (
-    id integer PRIMARY KEY,
-	sub character varying(25) NOT NULL,
-    user_id integer,
-    target_user_id integer,
-    target_submission_id integer,
-    target_comment_id integer,
-    created_utc integer NOT NULL,
-    kind character varying(32) DEFAULT NULL::character varying,
-    _note character varying(500) DEFAULT NULL::character varying
-);
-
-CREATE SEQUENCE public.subactions_id_seq
-    AS integer
-    START WITH 1
-    INCREMENT BY 1
-    NO MINVALUE
-    NO MAXVALUE
-    CACHE 1;
-
-ALTER SEQUENCE public.subactions_id_seq OWNED BY public.subactions.id;
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.subactions ALTER COLUMN id SET DEFAULT nextval('public.subactions_id_seq'::regclass);
-
-CREATE INDEX fki_subactions_user_fkey ON public.subactions USING btree (target_user_id);
-
-CREATE INDEX modaction_action_idx ON public.subactions USING btree (kind);
-
-CREATE INDEX modaction_pid_idx ON public.subactions USING btree (target_submission_id);
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.subactions
-    ADD CONSTRAINT subactions_submission_fkey FOREIGN KEY (target_submission_id) REFERENCES public.submissions(id);
-
-CREATE INDEX modaction_cid_idx ON public.subactions USING btree (target_comment_id);
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.subactions
-    ADD CONSTRAINT subactions_comment_fkey FOREIGN KEY (target_comment_id) REFERENCES public.comments(id);
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.subactions
-    ADD CONSTRAINT subactions_user_fkey FOREIGN KEY (target_user_id) REFERENCES public.users(id);
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.subactions
-    ADD CONSTRAINT subactions_sub_fkey FOREIGN KEY (sub) REFERENCES public.subs(name);
diff --git a/sql/20221002-body-tsvector.sql b/sql/20221002-body-tsvector.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index 1151ef682..000000000
--- a/sql/20221002-body-tsvector.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,3 +0,0 @@
-ALTER TABLE public.comments ADD COLUMN body_ts tsvector
-    GENERATED ALWAYS AS (to_tsvector('english', body)) STORED;
-CREATE INDEX comments_body_ts_idx ON public.comments USING GIN (body_ts);
diff --git a/sql/20221006-media-table.sql b/sql/20221006-media-table.sql
deleted file mode 100644
index fa0dc4f4d..000000000
--- a/sql/20221006-media-table.sql
+++ /dev/null
@@ -1,13 +0,0 @@
-CREATE TABLE public.media (
-    kind character varying(5) NOT NULL,
-    filename character varying(55) NOT NULL,
-	user_id Integer NOT NULL,
-    created_utc integer NOT NULL,
-    size integer NOT NULL
-);
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.media
-    ADD CONSTRAINT media_pkey PRIMARY KEY (kind, filename);
-
-ALTER TABLE ONLY public.media
-    ADD CONSTRAINT media_user_fkey FOREIGN KEY (user_id) REFERENCES public.users(id);