"GRINCHES could be here" he thought, "I've never been down this chimney before. There could be GRINCHES anywhere." The fetch wind felt good against his bare chest. "I HATE GRINCHES" he thought. Santa Claus is Comin' to Town reverberated his entire sleigh, making it pulsate even as the $9 eggnog circulated through his powerful thick veins and washed away his (merited) fear of grinches after Thanksgiving. "With magic reindeer, you can go anywhere you want" he said to himself, out loud.
:marseyshapiro: *Let’s say, hypothetically, you’ve been a naughty child even, ok, and if you were a naughty child you would also be waging war on Christmas? Then hypothetically speaking you would be on my little Naughty List. Now let’s say that you’re also a non-Christian child, now that we’ve established you’re both a bad child and non-Christian child, then I believe you’d agree with me when I say that you deserve a stocking full of coal, am I not correct? A bad child deserves a stocking full of coal and as I am Father Christmas, you are my child, so I am the one who must provide punishment.* :carpshapiro:
You may think you're hot stuff, the St. Nick of this topic — but if you're Kris Kringle, I'm Mrs. Claus: Anything you can do, I can do — backwards, without looking, and in high heels.
Christmas is the most magical glorious perfect impeccable dazzling time of year! How DARE you pitiful grinches not love every single jolly holly jingly bit of it! What is wrong with you freaks?! Have you no festive spirit, noPopulated forests of pine trees covered in twinkling rainbow lights that blanket me in cozy, tinsel-y warmth? No army of nutcracker soldiers marching up the stairs bearing plates of fudgy butter cookies and mugs overflowing with marshmallowy hot cocoa? No glistening angels fluttering through the alleyways at midnight, telling stories of poor skeletal children whose bones are decomposing in the cemetery because they don't have proper Christmas dinners to nourish them? YOU SHOULD! Let their blood and marrow splatter all over youuntil you finally understand the true meaning of Christmas, you naughty scrooges! Now if you'll excuse me, I have gingerbread houses to build while I listen to Madonna's Christmas album on repeat for all eternity.
So this virgin named Mary was visited by an angel one day and he said she'd give birth to the son of God, which is pretty wild right? But she accepts like it's no big deal. She's engaged to this guy named Joseph at the time. Then they go traveling to Bethlehem while she could pop any day 'cause of some census thing. No room at the inn when it's go time, so she ends up in a barn having this holy baby. Some shepherds see angels and go check out the kid in the manger. Next some magi roll in sometime later with weird gifts for the baby they followed a star to. Then king Herod freaks out trying to kill the child so Mary and Joseph have to skip town and hide out for a bit before coming back to raise Jesus up. And that's how it happened! Angels and stars just popping up announcing this miracle birth like it's any normal day. Crazy stuff man.
