Hello Dahncer_the_reindeer, or should I say rapedeer? 8 letters, fitting huh. If this life were perfect you'd have known nothing but milk and cookies since you left your birthers cunt. However, it's not- that's where I come in.
You have no say anymore, no freedom, no volition- I am Santa. You now worship my Christmas tree. You can call me Nicholas. A saint? No, but I come with more conviction.
Dahncer_the_reindeer you are my r*pe sleigh-ve now. And that's your greatest achievement- all you've ever amounted to, tugging and pulling my sleigh as we break the space time continuum together you complete fricking slut. I'll find you.
Wife is J-pilled, parents are open and never opposing to my distain for jews and my love of history and the NatSoc movement. Sister in law is bleeding heart liberal, but not extreme leftist still shuts down and won't talk when cornered in an argument against her beliefs.
Anyways, today somehow jews came up and WWII which got the comment "Hitler was the most evil man" my wife overhears, rolls her eyes, gets ready for the speech. I casually explain to my sister in law what the jews did to German people before WWII and why Hitler gained power, what he did for Germany, and how the Holocaust doesn't make sense and numbers don't add up.
I talked for an hour straight as she butted in with questions but sat quietly listening as you could see her face deeply question everything she's been told. After an hour she didn't freak out or shut down, just politely said "that's all I can handle on Christmas" and when we hugged goodbye she whispered "nazi" as I whispered "sieg heil" at the same time to each other and everyone burst out laughing.
"GRINCHES could be here" he thought, "I've never been down this chimney before. There could be GRINCHES anywhere." The fetch wind felt good against his bare chest. "I HATE GRINCHES" he thought. Santa Claus is Comin' to Town reverberated his entire sleigh, making it pulsate even as the $9 eggnog circulated through his powerful thick veins and washed away his (merited) fear of grinches after Thanksgiving. "With magic reindeer, you can go anywhere you want" he said to himself, out loud.
:marseyshapiro: *Let's say, hypothetically, you've been a naughty child even, ok, and if you were a naughty child you would also be waging war on Christmas? Then hypothetically speaking you would be on my little Naughty List. Now let's say that you're also a non-Christian child, now that we've established you're both a bad child and non-Christian child, then I believe you'd agree with me when I say that you deserve a stocking full of coal, am I not correct? A bad child deserves a stocking full of coal and as I am Father Christmas, you are my child, so I am the one who must provide punishment.* :carpshapiro:
If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Bardfinn, my janny, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Janny Lane with all the other mentally ill people, and I want him brought right here! With a big ribbon on his head! And I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?
You may think you're hot stuff, the St. Nick of this topic — but if you're Kris Kringle, I'm Mrs. Claus: Anything you can do, I can do — backwards, without looking, and in high heels.
Christmas is the most magical glorious perfect impeccable dazzling time of year! How DARE you pitiful grinches not love every single jolly holly jingly bit of it! What is wrong with you freaks?! Have you no festive spirit, noPopulated forests of pine trees covered in twinkling rainbow lights that blanket me in cozy, tinsel-y warmth? No army of nutcracker soldiers marching up the stairs bearing plates of fudgy butter cookies and mugs overflowing with marshmallowy hot cocoa? No glistening angels fluttering through the alleyways at midnight, telling stories of poor skeletal children whose bones are decomposing in the cemetery because they don't have proper Christmas dinners to nourish them? YOU SHOULD! Let their blood and marrow splatter all over youuntil you finally understand the true meaning of Christmas, you naughty scrooges! Now if you'll excuse me, I have gingerbread houses to build while I listen to Madonna's Christmas album on repeat for all eternity.
So this virgin named Mary was visited by an angel one day and he said she'd give birth to the son of God, which is pretty wild right? But she accepts like it's no big deal. She's engaged to this guy named Joseph at the time. Then they go traveling to Bethlehem while she could pop any day 'cause of some census thing. No room at the inn when it's go time, so she ends up in a barn having this holy baby. Some shepherds see angels and go check out the kid in the manger. Next some magi roll in sometime later with weird gifts for the baby they followed a star to. Then king Herod freaks out trying to kill the child so Mary and Joseph have to skip town and hide out for a bit before coming back to raise Jesus up. And that's how it happened! Angels and stars just popping up announcing this miracle birth like it's any normal day. Crazy stuff man.
